Gutfeld! Monologues - Philadelphia Mayor Has Trouble With Sports Team Spelling!

Episode Date: January 25, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg recaps an exciting first week for President Trump, and a wild misspelling of the Philadelphia Eagles by the Philadelphia Mayor.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. I expect you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'd like to thank each and every one of you right now. Good evening, everyone. Kamala Harris reportedly consulted Hillary Clinton multiple times on dealing with her crushing loss in the 2024 election, which gave both their husbands time to go out and bang some whores. Harris reportedly asked Hillary for advice on what to do after losing to Trump. Well, you know what always cheers me up when I'm feeling down, said Hillary,

murder. And then disguising it as soon as you. suicide. Philadelphia Mayor Cheryl Parker is being mocked by sports fans for her inability to spell the word eagles. When asked to spell the 76ers, she said, I can't do math either. As you already know, Trump has declared that there are only two genders, but if you're confused about which gender you are, one man volunteered to take a look. I can get two cigars in there. Kamala Harris has established a new company called Pioneer 49.

She says it's a combination of her secret service code name and the number of states there are. Oscar nominations were just announced, huh? As usual, Nancy Pelosi's face is favored to win for best special effects. Spirit Airlines has introduced a new dress code for passengers that will ban skimpy outfits. Guess it means you're flying frontier, Larry. Fly high, cudlow. According to a new study over the past century, men have increased in size twice as fast as women,

with one exception. Too easy, but accurate. And in case you're wondering, it's still freezing in New York. It's so cold. Even the chalk body outlines in the park are shivering. Ex-politico reporters revealed that editors would deliberately kill any stories that were negative about Biden. Current Politico reporters have been told not to report this. Trump signed an executive order

declassifying the files on the assassinations of MLK applauding assassinations, that's novel. But the assassinations of MLK, RFK, and JFK. Still no word on who killed ALF. he's dead yes kate willie it is cracked down on illegal immigration trump's ice raid has turned up a number of suspected pedophiles which will no doubt delay

Hollywood summer blockbusters Democrat consultant James Carville has advised Joe Biden to stay out of the country affairs. But Joe replied, I'm not president anymore. I think I fucked that joke up. Let me do that one again. It's a subtle joke. Democrat consultant, James Carville, has advised Joe Biden to stay out of the country's affairs. However, Joe replied, but I'm not president anymore. Maybe it worked. Scientists have created an artificial tongue that uses AI to detect food spoilage and contamination.

The tongue can also detect very lonely scientists. Doge wants to stop minting pennies, arguing it costs three cents to produce a one cent coin. But without pennies, a few critics. or how they'll be able to tip their waitress. Actor Benedict Cumberbatch revealed that while filming a show in South Africa, he was kidnapped by six men and bound for hours. Where do I sign up? asked one man. Still a punchline.

The unemployment and the punchline. As you know, President Trump announced that the Gulf of Mexico will be renamed the Gulf of America, but also adds that Mexico will be known as Diarrhea Land. I'd definitely go to that amusement park. And finally, here's an odd story. A teen was busted by his angry mom for waiting in line to have sex with a porn star. She said, wait till your father hears about this. he's in the back of the line.

All right, to the monologue. So in his first week, we saw Trump fulfill 46 promises in roughly 24 hours. That's two an hour, give or take a few. And just as a comparison, the only thing Biden did twice an hour was pee. So Trump hit the ground running while Biden just hit the ground.

Face first. Trump's actions include giving DHS and Border Patrol the green light to deport illegals, eliminating DEI from all government programs, ending remote work for federal employees, designating two and only two genders, i.e. protecting women's sports, and of course releasing the assassination files. So was this hard? Not at all. It was easier than beating Stephen Hawking in a game of twister.

What? You thought he was good? And why? Well, I bet Trump sees them all as all solvable problems. They're all solvable problems. I agree. They're all solvable. Not easy. With time, effort, money, unfortunately.

But they're all solvable problems. We can get our country back. But if we didn't win this race, I really believe our country would have been lost forever. I think we got there just in the next. of time. You know, he's right. The problems are solvable if you view them as problems. This is why they weren't solvable under Democrats. They were not problems to them, but eggs they were willing to break to make their toxic omelet. The Dems did nothing about the gangs or crime and other obvious stuff because they lost the ability to admit something was wrong.

Why would they miss such obvious fixes? Maybe because the problems were part of the plan? And in some cases, not solving a problem kept their so-called problem solvers in business, the race baiters, the climate hucksters, the DEI department heads. If they preserved a problem or made it worse, then you couldn't get rid of them. As long as we had racial divisions, Al Sharpton got paid. As long as John Kerry spoke of the dangers of CO2, he could fly private around the globe, spewing more noxious gases than Jerry Nadler in the Capitol Men's Room. Jesus.

After a bowl of bad clams. And why was America first so hard to understand? Perhaps they heard, oh, America is better than everyone else? And that pissed them off. But America first doesn't put the country above others. Any more than putting your family first means it's better than other families. It's just the top priority. This could be why liberals are hated by their kin.

They'd rather save the smelt than visit Grandma. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel. Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station

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Well, because either they didn't want it or didn't have the balls to do it. Now we got a guy who does. But the ease at which these changes are accepted, it speaks to the degradation. of a country previously under no leadership. Trump's effectiveness mirrors in scale and scope the absolute treasonous desertion of presidential duties by the Biden White House. In a way, Trump's got it easy.

With a Biden White House so callow and inept, the problems it created, although vast and serious, were actually easy to correct as long as you're normal. For Trump, following the Biden administration is like following your dog with a pooper scooper. How ironic, the person the media deemed irrational, even nuts, is doing the things every sane person needs. But we've been gaslit so long that normal seems crazy. So in this case, the inmates should be running the asylum.

And so all of Trump's actions are obvious, just free money on the table to be scooped up by the one guy who saw it sitting there. It makes you wonder, how long would this dissent into madness have continued? continued if Kamala had won. You know, right now she'd be trying to get an illegal on death row, a pair of fake tits on the taxpayer's dime. So it's like America was driving down the road with its tires completely worn down, sparks shooting out of the rims with Jim, Joe, Jim's his brother, asleep at the wheel. Democrats pretended not to notice, but Trump jumped in, grabbed the wheel,

and pulled the car over just in time. So when the media describes Trump's actions on crime or the border or federal workers as a crackdown, it's not. It's a correction. And that makes the crimes of the previous administration so much worse. They had the chance to follow the law. They didn't. So it wasn't just a failure of common sense. It was a failure of will.

And that inaction should never be forgotten. But they should be. And the only thing we need to remember is never to vote for them again. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon music app. It's the Will Kane Show. Watch it live at noon Eastern, Monday through Thursday on Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss a show.

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