Gutfeld! Monologues - President Biden Acts Quirky While Serving Turkey

Episode Date: November 30, 2024

Kat Timpf guest hosts! As seen on Gutfeld! Host of the Tyrus & The Wise Men podcast, Tyrus, Host of the FOX News True Crime Podcast, Emily Compagno, Comedian Jim Norton, and Comedian David Angelo discuss President Biden's latest senior moments. Plus, Kat delivers a monologue on why it is not a good idea to cut your relatives off over politics.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Hey, happy Tuesday, everyone. I am Kat Timp. Welcome to a special edition of Gutfelds. Greg's off to focus on his new moisturizing routine. Megan Markle is reportedly in a, quote, professional separation from husband to Prince Harry, which is weird considering neither of them have jobs. Researchers say severe COVID infection can actually stop cancer from spreading.

Then again, so does a fiery car crash. Thank you. Thank you. The FDA says it discovered bacteria and a mold-like substance at a Tom's of Maine. natural toothpaste facility. Experts were tipped off by the fact that it no longer tasted like butt. British Airways unveiled its new first-class suite designed to provide a modern luxury hotel feel.

The bad news, you're still surrounded by British people. And experts say going on a fart walk after dinner can help reduce bloating and even and help prevent diabetes. Of course, for some people, every walk is a fart walk. Yeah, take that. All right, let's do the monologue, baby. So, there are reminders of the human stuff in life all around us every day if we look. Like yesterday, when I fell outside of work.

Now, this is New York City, so no one cared. Actually, I'm surprised no one peed on me. But I did have to go to the hospital to make sure everything with the baby was okay, which thankfully it is. Although the doctor did diagnose me as McCulley Culkin. Anyway, it was scary for a bit, and that's the stuff that I'm talking about when I say human stuff. The moments when you realize what really matters. And I do think we should talk about this because, we're just two days from Thanksgiving, and there's a lot of people who are apparently not

celebrating it because of politics. According to a new survey, 64% of Americans said that election-related stress is affecting their holiday plans, and almost a quarter of them are considering skipping Thanksgiving altogether. I know, and another survey found that a third of adults who are younger than 30 said they're likely to get into an argument about politics. So, as the person, person who literally wrote the book on this, I thought I'd offer some advice. First of all, if you are one of those people who is thinking about either skipping Thanksgiving or ruining it, it's time for you to look at yourself because research actually shows that moral outrage is more often rooted in self-interest than it is in altruism. So raging at someone else lets you

feel less guilty about how you might be contributing to society's problems without having to actually do anything to solve them. It's why your cousin with the blue hair and several warrants is often with the one with the loudest opinions, other than your uncle with no hair and even more warrants. I know it can be hard to hear, but you aren't doing any good by screaming at your grandma about the election while you're eating the pie she made you. Plus, a lot of the time, our hatred of other people is really rooted in misunderstanding. There's also research that shows there's a perception gap that hugely overestimates the number of people in the other party who actually hold so-called extreme views.

So, if you do end up in one of those touchy conversations, approach it with curiosity instead of with judgment, because there's something you can learn from even your craziest family member. No better way to learn how to hide from the law than from someone who's been there. Speaking of unspeakable criminal acts, it could be helpful to focus on stuff that's less sensitive than the election. Stuff like the Menendez brothers. Or how your aunt seems to be handling menopause so far. Try to focus on what you have in common, you know, that human stuff.

Or the stuff that is so obvious, you know you won't get any disagreement. Stuff like Cat Timp is in Ohio 6 without makeup and hair extensions. Or Joe Mackey got snubbed for Beefcake of the Year. Again. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Politics makes us fight with people we actually know on behalf of politicians who don't even know we exist. So don't do that, okay, guys?

Time with family is way too precious. So just do your best to have fun, get along, and if you're going to fight with your family, at least make it memorable. Slap your drunk uncle in the face with a piece of ham. Your mom won't like it, but it'll be a great story for next year. World Star.

All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app

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list today. Come seek the Royal Caribbean. Itineraries vary by sale date. Ships Registry Bahamas. Love espresso, drip coffee, and cold brew with the Ninja Lux Cafe. If you can crave it, you can brew it. Espresso, balanced. Drip coffee, rich. Cold brew in a flash. With barista assist technology, you brew with no stress and no guesswork and make perfect silky microphone hands-free from dairy or plant-based milks. Shop the Ninja Lux Cafe at Ninja Kitchen.com. Let's welcome tonight's guest. If he's the man of your dream, someone spiked your drink.

It's comedian Jim Norton. He talks a mile a minute but never gets a ticket. He'll host about numbered and author of the new book Under His Wings, Emily Campano. His new baby has his mother's eyes, and unfortunately, his father's voice. Comedian and founder of Western Razor Company, David Angelo. When the turkey sees him, it just starts carving itself. New York Times best-selling author, comedian former NWA world champion, Tyrant.

There's no merit. a time defense from the press who makes no sense. Joe Biden celebrated Friendsgiving yesterday, serving food at a Coast Guard facility on Staten Island. He snacked on tasty morsels of food as girls just want to have fun blasted in the background. And then he said this. I've just been told I've been fired. What they do when they tell us, they set a time, how long are it going to be somewhere.

and then what they do is they close all the roads. The Secret Service does. And if you want to lose all support for you, the Coast Guard, and no one will ever vote for me again, I better get the hell out of here. Don't ask me. No, I'm going to ask you. I actually asked to have this presented to me written out.

Okay, okay. Did you read the transcript? Okay. They set a time for how long we're going to be somewhere. Okay. And then what they do is close all the roads. The Secret Service does. And if you want to lose all support for your Coast Guard and no one ever, no one will ever vote for me again, I better get the hell out of here. What was he going for? Can you translate? Okay. To be fair, I think he was repeating. what Pelosi was telling him when he was fired from the presidency, but it's hard

with reading lips with someone with a lot of plastic surgery. So that was his best guess. But I think what he was, I think what Dear Joe was trying to say is that they're going to cause a traffic jam, and it's going to make people hate him even more. So he needs to go now. I think that's what he was trying to say. Or it was a horrible excuse because he had to pee really bad. Yeah, I mean, okay.

I don't know. I think old Joe got into some of Kamala's famous word salad. He said if you want, no one will ever vote for me. David, is he running? Does this mean he thinks he's running? It doesn't matter anymore. I mean, it really doesn't. He should be in hospice care.

He's the current president. Yep. We always forget that. You know, aliens land, Russia attacks. This is the guy at the helm. Yeah. Say your prayers, folks. Now, Emily, your new book is available now, which has nothing to do with this segment, but I wanted to make sure I got that in there. Everybody buy Emily's book. Thank you. Everybody by, yeah. So, so as someone whose new books available now, what do you think about this? Thank you for that. That was a good one, right? Yes. Yes. He's their current commander-in-chief. Can you imagine being there a member of the Coast Guard? Your life is on the line. At the end of this meal, you're going out into the treacherous waters of the Hudson, the Atlantic, whatever's outside of here. And then that mumbling, stumbling thing is talking about votes. And what they do is, and they close the roads, the Secret Service. And you're thinking to yourself, that's the guy that my life is in his hands. Are you kidding me? January 20th can't come fast enough.

It's frightening. I mean, Jim, it is really a wonderful clip, you know, the music, you know, and then the nonsense. You know, he almost presents himself as a likable character at that time. Like, if this was like a buddy comedy or something, I mean, that's not what this is. This is the leader of the free world, allegedly. But what do you make of it? I mean, odd is this. I'm starting to question his mental capability.

abilities. Starting! Like, it just seems like he's not moving as well. He literally moves, like he's already in the Hall of Presidents at Disney. It's like an animatronic.

Traffic, votes, and then he just turns off. I almost feel bad from it at this point because, look, that's a, they're all in that business, a dirty business. But this, what happened to him, even though his brains are awful, but it's humiliating. And now he's just being paraded out there. She lost. There's no momentum. So he's just, this is all, every act of public interaction is an act of humiliation for him. So I kind of feel bad for him. And we wish they would just kind of put him in the closet and say, just sit, relax. It's all good. You know, I don't hate him to where I want to see him

humiliated. I just wish that he would just kind of go away. What he should do, if he really wants to hurt Trump, he should resign immediately and then make Kamala take over, and then Trump has to just put 48 on all of his merchandise. I'm telling you, I'm telling you that hers would have said 84.

Yeah. When he talks, I feel like there should be a voiceover underneath. Like, just $10 a day, and you can get an old man back to his house. Because I'm actually, the more I listen to this, I'm proud of him. He's still fighting.

He's going to run in 2020. He's got his sights set on in 2020. I'm running. And he has the Coast Guard support. So, again, we just, like, good for him. And he had the apron on the right way this time. It wasn't on the back way. So, you know.

Do we have the video of him eating the bread, though? Like, when he's just standing there eating the plain Kings, Hawaii. He's just standing there eating plain bread like a pigeon outside the subway. Understand when your memory goes. One of the coolest things about losing your memory is, Everything's new. He's acts like a two-year-old the first time they see a spork. Like, what?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You can pick things up with this. Yes, Mr. President. Yeah. I do feel like, I agree with Jim Emily. I feel like he should be time for him to just like go to the beach. Go to pasture.

What was that? But I don't, you know, you talk about him being humiliated. I feel like it's us being humiliated because that's our commander-in-chief. That's why he's relegated to the back row. with the world leaders' photograph and the CCP leader, President Xi, is right in front. Like, this guy humiliates me because he's the one that's representing all of us. But maybe I just take things too personally. Well, that glove, I mean, if you think that was bad, that was not there for food prep.

He actually took that. He got a prostate exam. The doctor gave him a fun glove. You don't want President Biden on the front row of anything. No. Because he's going to fall. That's right. If he falls on Gigi and Gigi gets her, that's a win for America.

So let's just... All right. Thanks to Jim Norton. Emily Campano, Gipangelo, Tyrus, in our studio audience. Foxes at night is next. I'm Kat Kemp and on behalf of Greg Gapfeld. I love you, America. Listen to ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts.

And Amazon Prime members can listen to the... this show and free on the Amazon Music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy host of the Trey Gatti podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.