Gutfeld! Monologues - President Biden Drives Dems Mad So They Blame Vlad

Episode Date: July 13, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Host of The FOX True Crime Podcast Emily Compagno, Comedian Joe DeVito, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and Chef Andrew Gruel discuss whether or not the Democrats will replace President Biden. Plus, Greg monologues on President Biden's latest age troubles. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Thank you. Wow. Thank you. Glad I got a bigger hot tub. Happy Wednesday, everyone. So, George Clooney called on Democratic. to name a new nominee for the 2024 presidential election,

claiming President Biden cannot win. Well, I haven't seen an actor take out a president like that since John Wilkes' booth. Stop it. After hearing Clooney's call for Biden to step down, the Dems are holding strong, adding, we're not making any decisions until we hear from Bob Crane.

Got to drop a Bob Crane reference in the show once in a while. Mysterious death, though. Radio host Charlemagne, the God, said Biden staying in the race because he has a giant ego. Well, you know it's bad when you're called egotistical by a man who calls himself the God. On his podcast, Michael Moore called, the Biden re-election effort, the cruelest form of elder abuse he's ever been forced to watch. I guess he hasn't seen sex in the city, too.

A neurologist told NBC News that Joe Biden shows such obvious signs of Parkinson's that he could have diagnosed him from across the mall. Especially if Joe's taken a shit in a sharper image massage chair. I love those. Love those. President Biden attended NATO's 75th anniversary summit where he reaffirmed his stance against Russian aggression, causing the crowd to cheer when he said,

Mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall. Despite concerns about Biden's mental decline, Democrats say they're not considering the 25th Amendment. This is not surprising considering the cabinet hasn't even worked up the courage to talk to Janet Yellen about her haircut. And finally, according to a new report, Donald Trump's unlikely to choose a vice president with facial hair. Well, better luck next time, Liz, Janie. All right. My to love.

So, the last couple of weeks have been a joy watching a hoax implode before our country's eyes. hilarious but hardly unbelievable. And some might say our response has been mean. But that's like a victim of a crime being called cruel for expressing satisfaction over justice being served. The really cruel ones are those dragging a demented frail man around the world for power. And the only thing that will stop them is if Biden drops dead. Does a party and a leader deserve sympathy when they've been lying and insulting us for four years all to cover up an incapacitated man? Man? No way. I'm like an elephant. I don't forget, and I use my tail to squat away mosquitoes. And yet it's the critics who are at fault.

They seem laser focused on Biden's age and acuity with no headlines on the fact that Donald Trump has been showing serious signs of cognitive decline for years. The grotesque behavioral overreaction by the White House press court today was on display, video. I'm a little tired of all the Biden bashing that's going on. I'm pissed off at it, frankly. Uh-oh, Joy's pissed. You know what that means? People who work

at the view, do not wear red. She might charge. But if only they felt that way when Trump was in the crosshairs, they had no problem saying Russian hookers peed on him. It's not fair to him or the Russian hookers. But now Joe's infirmity is confirmed that

brain dead cat is out of the bag and they want to blame us for warning them ahead of time when the cat was still in the bag or the basement. But now the media is backtracking. Is it because Joe Biden has somehow convinced them he's a-okay? No, he's convinced them that this is a murder, suicide situation. And the Dems are the hostage negotiators backing off, talking nice, hoping that the guy doesn't take everyone with him. At some point, though, they're going to act like this is just another story, but it's not. This story can't just go away, and it's their fault. So they'll have, oh, thank you. So they'll have to force it off the screen, which means another hoax will appear, a foreign policy threat, a story about Trump's finances or sex life.

Maybe aliens will invade, not illegals, but space. Tip to space aliens, stay away from Texas or Florida. They'll bus you to Chicago. and they'll eat you alive. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows maybe Taylor Swift will dump Travis Kelsey for a real athlete. But like Chris Christie's stretch pants, these things have a way of becoming uncontrollable. It's obvious that like Joe's bowels, the media's lost control.

So this is where you come in. You got to watch out for the media's fake off ramps. waiting to distract or change narratives. They're a dangerous, they're like a dangerous cornered animal. Like when I found cat rooting through the trash at Panda Express. Remember what you're dealing with is something cunning and remorseless. Democrats. If you think Trump can win, remember two things.

One, the red wave, which shows how Republicans can easily up a sure thing. But also, Republicans see politics as a part-time job. Democrats live and breathe politics. For Dems, it's the only job they have, so they're already scheming, and they rely on one sentence to justify all the dirty tricks. But Trump is a monster. It's the singular reason that justifies the hoaxes, the lawfare, changes in voting, and so on. But that fell apart with Biden. If, in fact, Trump is an existential threat, why run a guy who's being held together by compression socks and pollident?

That question, it needs to be asked again. again and again, then there's this question. Well, he also said he's sharpest before 8 p.m. So say that the Pentagon, at some point, picks up an incoming nuke. It's 11 p.m. Who do you call, the first lady? He has a team that lets him know of any news

that is pertinent and important to the American people. He has someone, or that is decided, obviously, with his National Security Council, and who gets to tell them that news. This is no gotcha question. It's the only question. When a president is no longer capable than who's doing the job,

especially when there's a terror attack, a Cuban missile crisis, or the ice cream machines go down again at McDonald's. If it's not Biden, then it's not legal. And what of Trump? Well, he can do something else. Meet with the victims of hoaxes. Have a conversation with four Democrats

who still believe in the fine people hoax, drinking bleach hoax, whatever. Roll the clips unedited to see them in context. Let them pull on his face to learn it's not Hitler wearing a Trump mask. Think of it as deprogramming. In person, Trump's funny, sharp and charming. He could talk a G-string off Larry Kudlow. That's hard to do.

And unlike Joe, he remembers names, doesn't drool and won't send his wife in to save him. The result, the hoax victims realized the monster they hated so much paid them much more respect than the party ever did to them. And that's something that Dems don't want America to see even more than a President Trump. And another way to help, kickback. Just kick back. Let the hoax machine eat itself. Who knows, maybe they'll do the idiotic thing and keep Joe in. They'll say, even if the president's incapacitated, there's always his team that lied for years that he's incapacitated. So you're in good hands with Captain Hook. All right. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. The best coast just got better, introducing Quantum of the Seas sailing from L.A. this fall.

Conquer next-level thrills on the boldest ship in the west, like flowrider surf sessions, bumper cars, and soaring 300 feet above sea level on the North Star. Plus more than 15 dining options on board, all between discoveries in Ensenada and even overnights in Cabo. You've never done Mexico like this. Book your Boulder-Baha adventure from Los Angeles today. Come seek the Royal Caribbean. vary by sale date. Ships Registry, Bahamas. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits. All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel.

Then, you can keep fueling up on other things, like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today. Terms apply. See Chevron Texco Rewards.com for more details. Let's welcome tonight's guest. Her mouth overheats so often she gargles with Prestone. Co-hosts have outnumbered Emily Cabanio.

The only thing his patrons send back are their phone numbers, chef and restaurant are Andrew Gruel. His app is so old it has liver spots right. and comedian Joe DeVito. And she's like a TSA agent. She screams at you for no reason and then steals your nail clippers. New York Times bestselling author

in Fox News contributor Katif. It's Biden's incoherence. Just Russian interference. Once again, there's no disputing. They're going to blame Putin. Our video of the date comes to us from the White House where KJP, with a layup from the press laid the groundwork for yet another Russian hoax this time, blaming it for Joe's

Gaffs. Roll it. There was an announcement from the Department of Justice today about a crackdown effort to interrupt a Russian state-sponsored bot operation, AI-fueled operation, to denigrate politicians in the United States and elsewhere. Have you seen any evidence that? that the Russians or other foreign powers have tried to seize on the debate performance to repeat some of the president's most embarrassing moments. So that's a very good question.

AI has always been a concern. It is a cutting-edge technology that we need to get our hands on. Hmm. Yes, the cutting-edge technology of re-airing actual debate clips. What would those Russian bastards think of next? reprinting Biden's speeches in full?

So let me get this straight. Now they want to blame Russian bots for spreading disinfo, disinfo on Biden's debate debacle. This is the worst excuse since I blamed for getting my anniversary on Joey Fatone quitting in sync. You don't need Russia to make Biden look bad. The White House has that job covered.

It's the same old story. Inflation's high. Blame Russia. The president's brain. dead, blame Russia. The systematic conglomeration of Slavic states into a United Soviet Republic. Blame Russia. Oh, wait, that one works. Andrew, you know what pisses me off about this story? We are told by the media that the election system is so impenetrable by corruption within our system. But they're get overly concerned

that outside the system, the Russian bots that could just easily corrupt it. It's easier to corrupt from within, then without. Yet they say that's impossible. Do you follow me? Yeah, but I mean, that takes intellect to connect those two dots. And the people who are eating that up don't have such intellect. But I think what's really funny here, it's always Russia, Russia, Russia, right? We're like one new cycle away from blaming Baron Trump for blowing up the Nord Stream pipeline, you know, in an effort to make way for like a Trump tower underwater a la Atlantis. But you said something really interesting in the monologue about how Trump needs to kind of face some of these conspiracy theories head on.

And I think the Republicans need to embrace Russia and say, yes, Biden needs to sit down and have dinner with Putin. So just picture this now. The two of them are sitting down having dinner. The waitress walks up to the table. Mr. Putin, what would you like to eat? I'll have the meat. Well, what about vegetables? Yes, the vegetable will have the meat as well.

Oh. It's a little kitchen humor from the chef. So, DeVito, it's Russian disinfo to blame for your stand-up comedy career failing. Wow. I didn't write that. I'll tell you. I get one bad review in Pravda, and I never hear the end of it. I like your scenario.

I could just see them in Putin's ear, like, we put all kinds of poison in that man's food. It's not changing him at all. You're infecting him at all. Look, as far as the state of American politics, Russia, you can take him. Take this one off. We don't need your help making things any crazier. We've got two senior citizens running and a chance Kamala could be president. We're good.

We don't need outside interference. And that it could be technology that's affecting Joe Biden. This is a man who got taken down by a sandbag. Yes. So technology is not the problem here. But the good news is, Karene Jean-Pierre said that he's on fire. Yes.

Which is, maybe that's why Jamal Bowman pulled that alarm. But the only way, the only technology involved if Joe Biden is on fire is that Hunter was lighting up too close to his oxygen tank. But other than that, technology is not the issue, is what I'm saying. But you make a good point. Russia didn't give us identity politics or DEI or made shoplifting legal if it was under 900 bucks. America is destroying itself without Putin's help. Kat, did you see blame it on Russia strategy coming? That was the dumbest question.

Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself Whoever that is an aspect Of all the things that are going on right now You're going to ask that question Like, is Russia sharing it? Maybe everyone is sharing it Because the videos are fucking insane Yeah

That's It's Okay, so also When I hear election interference I don't just think of that as like Talking about what happened the other week Yeah. Like for her to take that to a level of then talking about AI, that is crazy.

There's no AI that was reality. We all saw that. To share that, of course, how else do you decide elections besides showing what the people who are running have done? Yes. That's a controversial way to talk about an upcoming election. It is funny, though. It's like, Emily, when you watch her, she like,

Do you think she was even listening to the question? Just. Like she was just like, get me off. Hell, yeah. Yeah, she's like, get me off this, get me off this podium. And she's like, they had technology, whatever. It's blah. I'm surprised she's lasted this long.

Like, it's a self-mutilation happening up there to your point. Like, every day walking up, like, just take me now. I do have to say, though, that question that the reporter asked, how he phrase it, he's like talking about whether politicians are denigrated. So we care about whether someone's being, you know, critiqued in the press, maybe some bad press. The reality is that our enemies have been destroying us from the inside out now for every day since that man took office.

The Chinese flew a balloon over our entire country for days. To your point, we do not need Russia's help with this absolute dumpster fire. But more importantly, questions like that and angles like this take our eye off the real ball, which is that China has owned us now for three years, and Russia is just laughing all the way to their disgusting thing. All right. Emily Capagio, Andrew Gruhl, Joe DeVito, Tim, our studio on it. Fox Tuesday at night with Dreamy, Descartagascals, I love you.

Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free, on the Amazon Music app. From the Fox News Podcasts Network. Hey there, it's me, Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast. Kennedy saves the world. It is five days a week, every week. Download and listen at Fox Newspodcast.com or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.