Gutfeld! Monologues - President Trump Renovates The White House Himself!

Episode Date: April 26, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on President Trump paying for two 100-foot flag poles at the White House and inspecting the installation sites himself. Plus, a new report showed that even President Biden found it insane for biological men to play in women's sports.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. No. No. Oh, great, another drunk audience. It's Friday, so you know what that means. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's Leftovers. Mmm, it's leftovers.

Where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll shave the back of Joe Mackey's head, paint a woman's face on it, and send him to a Supermax prison. A little too complicated for you, huh, guy? That's how we do it. Yesterday was take your kids to work day. Just to show my daughter what I do for a living,

I let her slap a writer. President Trump hung a new portrait of himself in the White House next to Hillary Clinton. But that's weird. Usually it's Hillary doing the hanging. Democrat Senator Dick Durbin announced that he will not seek re-election in 2020. That's one dick down, 44 to go.

The 80-year-old Durbin urged other elderly lawmakers to follow his lead and retire before they have to be carried out. Good luck carrying me out, said one man. She's fat. Twice-failed candidate Stacey Abrams is... Hold on. She's weighing another bid for governor of Georgia. And from the looks of things, she's been weighing a lot. She's not a Georgia peach.

She's more like a Georgia pumpkin. According to the New York Post, a mortuary employee was arrested for experimenting on corpses. In fact, she actually got one cadaver to walk but couldn't make it talk. Speaking of the former president, Joe Biden will attend the Pope's funeral tomorrow. Let's just hope he doesn't try to shake his hand. But this is nice. If it'll help, our former president has offered the Vatican free use of his car. The House of Reps has rejected Rashida-Talib's proposal to designate Israel as an enemy of the United States.

Talib then twirled her mustache and vowed revenge. That's her on the left. Or you're right. Democrat governor of Wisconsin, Tony Evers, was brutally mocked after posting a video of himself attempting to throw a football. There you go. Causing Trump to reverse his executive order on banning men from playing in women's sports. Former SNL member Bill Hader will star in an HBO series about the Reverend Jim Jones and the Jonestown Massacre. And unlike Saturday Night Live, there's actually a punchline.

Ugh. Hey, guys, kill that 9-11 joke. Gwyneth Paltrow has quit the paleo diet and is now eating bread and cheese again. These and other amazing facts can be found in my new book, Who Gives a Shit? According to a report, Joe Biden believed that transgender athletes had. had an unfair advantage against biological girls in all sports, because they're good at them. You know, I don't care if you don't get it. Wow.

That was amazing. That was absolutely amazing. In a new study, researchers found 96% of outlets. alligator attacks were due to humans doing something stupid, meaning it's just a matter of time before this guy buys the farm. And finally, after complaints of public masturbation in a Seattle park, officials are looking to build a, quote, public masturbation deterrent infrastructure, which is a complicated way of saying a giant billboard of this.

All right. Shuts it down right away, kid. All right. I don't know about you, but the first thing I do in the morning before making Larry Cudlow coffee is I check the news. Because I have one question, what did I miss?

Because for you, eight hours might be a good night's sleep. But for Donald Trump, that's an eternity to be filled with opportunities for fun. and trolling and this week the maestro cooked up some good ones weeks after the president suggested he might run for a third term the Trump store released a new product Trump 2028 hats and just like the nurse who misplaced my stool sample the left immediately lost their shit Trump wants to be Putin. He'll never leave office. It's unconstitutional.

Now, we know Trump says he's considering running again, but is he serious? Or is this the biggest troll we've seen since that one guarding the bridge at CNN? Slow. Now, the Trump hat doesn't necessarily refer or have to refer to the big man. It just says Trump. Could it be Laura, Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka, could it be all of them? After all, we'll need each of them to serve two terms to keep the seat warm for barren. We'll be back with more Gutfeld.

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Circle K makes your day. And for a moment, what about Mary? Mary Trump. Do you ever wonder what happened to Mary, remember Mary? So much of what happened this past year to heart, and it, like, had an impact on me. That was not a good one. Donald would post something on Twitter or true social or whatever that was absolutely insane.

But he kept getting propped up, so it didn't end up mattering. And we would overreact and think it was the end of the world, right? So let's just take a breath. Hmm, has anybody checked on her lately? Yeah, I don't blame her. Now, whether Trump's messing with the left or not, we know one thing. He is hilarious, and the left can't stand it. Trump knows this and trolls his enemies at will.

This week, Trump poked fun at Hillary, hanging. a portrait of himself next to hers in the White House. He's basically saying that her picture speaks a thousand words and it's loser a thousand times over. Then there's a COVID website he turned into an expose on the lab leak and Fauci. It's now my favorite website after Brian Kilmeet sucks.org.

And who can forget his teasing of the 51st state, which drove Justin Trudeau well into his deserved oblivion? I hear these days he has to wear it. a disguise. So what's next? Well, why not put up a beautiful, almost 100 foot tall American flag? We're putting up a beautiful, almost 100 foot tall American flag on this side and another one on the other side, two flags, top of the line.

And they've needed flagpoles for 200 years, something I've often said. You know, they don't have a flagpole, per se. So we're putting one right where you saw us, and we're putting another one on the other side on top of the mounds. It's going to be too beautiful, Paul. Too beautiful. What a change from Joe. And quite the departure from the other polls when Hunter lived at the White House.

I kid. Actually, they weren't waving any flags, though they did have to air dry Biden's bed sheets. Yeah. Then yesterday, Trump announced he would sit for an interview with the Atlantic's Trump-hating Jeffrey Goldberg, just to see what happens. Isn't that amazing sitting down with a hostile journalist? It just has Trump saying, bring it on. While Joe barely survived sitting down, period.

Kamala couldn't last five minutes without a triple mitai and a Xanax floater. But the real story, Trump is a free man. something completely foreign to the Dems. Because to be free, you have to be real. And then when you're real, you can lean into just about anything, including the fury over the idea of Trump 2028. It's something even Count Chocula can see. They don't have anybody that's as charismatic as in these characters.

Charismatic is we taking that away from it. It's a television story. If you're a Democrat, we have to find some people to represent us better, who have a sense of humor and who, have a sense of purpose. I know. See, even this duck from the Exxon Valdez gets it.

That Trump is real and the left has no one like him. I mean, can you imagine being stuck in an elevator with Randy Weingarten, Adam Schiff or Rashida Taleb? You'd cut the cable yourself. They have no sense of humor. And it's because they're as real as a Times Square Rolex.

So sure, the 2020 28 hats might be a troll, but it's more authentic than anything that Democrats offer. Remember, this party sold the country Joe Biden as a moderate, unifying, coherent leader. Was that the biggest troll ever? No, it was worse because the prank was on America. And that's the thing about Trump. He knows who to troll and who not to. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts.

and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's the Will Kane Show. Watch it live at noon Eastern, Monday through Thursday on Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss a show. Get the podcast five days a week at Fox Newspodcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.