Gutfeld! Monologues - President Trump Schools President Zelenskyy
Episode Date: March 4, 2025As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on the fierce showdown between President Trump, Vice President Vance, and President Zelenskyy in the Oval Office last Friday. Learn more about your ad choices. Vis...it podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Just a legal question.
I don't know why it's so upsetting.
I don't make the rules in this country.
All right.
So Friday, Zelensky
entered the White House
and his military fatigues
and left with a boot up his ass.
If we would have insulted America any worse,
Jane Fonda would have banged him.
Talk about...
Thank you.
You never know what works.
But talk about a disaster.
That may have been the messiest scene in the Oval Office
since Bill Clinton used a blue dress for target practice.
So in the interest of world peace, let's address Zelensky directly.
Dude, you've got to drop the Napoleon complex.
As a short guy, I'm an expert.
I know what it's like to have a parade described to me by a tall 12-year-old.
But you got to accept that you need us far more than we need you.
It's the same thing I told my foster kids.
And however righteous your cause is, America voted for a guy
who doesn't want to embroil this country in another war
where we empty the treasury into an endless graveyard.
This isn't 2022, and you're not dealing with an old man
who couldn't tell Europe from Gilligan's Island.
A lot's changed.
First of all, for all the talk of Trump being a fast,
fascist? Right now, it's Trump and his crew who are the only ones talking peace.
Because just like the chaos of an open border or the crime caused by defunding the police,
wars sure look exciting to those who don't have to fight them. Just ask Tim Walts.
We'll be back with more Gutfeld.
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But Vlad needs to understand what is actually meant by a deal.
It means you're not going to get everything you want.
You're going to have to bend a little, a lot, actually.
Because as Trump said, you don't have the cards to play
no matter what your Democrat buddies are telling you.
You're at the kids' table, and you're still not the tallest one there.
See, Vlad got tricked by the people who can't save him,
i.e. the Dems he campaigned with last year
and met prior to meeting Trump last Friday.
Today, they're about as influential as Dylan Mulvaney
at a men's retreat.
And while it's good, and while it's good to see Europe has your back, Vlad, you're asking
them to kick Russians out of Ukraine when they can't even kick Hamas out of London.
The Dems used Vlad to provoke a fight with Trump so they could poke the bear. That is Trump.
In a way, they're like your loudmouthed friend who starts a fight in a bar and then tells you,
go ahead, I'll hold your coat.
Zelensky got played.
He got snotty with the one group of people in this planet
in a position who could save his ass.
I mean, imagine being the guy who was about to go to the electric chair,
but then you get a call from the governor
and you end up telling him that his wife is fat.
That's Vlad.
And the people who wrote your script for you,
America's hapless Dems, have been wrong on every issue.
All those dopes who say what Trump and Vance did
was awful were the same people who said Biden was sane.
Meaning if Adam Kinsinger, Jen Sacky, Morning Joe, and CNN think Friday was the worst,
then you know it was the best.
Even more, not knowing where half the money we sent to Ukraine is, not a good look, especially
when we have a few budget problems of our own.
Steve Laude, you're no longer dealing with an old fart who was last seen getting his casket
tailored.
Got a new president, and he won't get talked down to by a man.
who's five-foot-three and dressed like a cat burglar.
So, President Z, you're stuck where so many Trump antagonists are these days in opposition
to common sense.
This is not America's war.
I know that's confusing because most of our wars aren't.
But America voted for the guy who says he'll end this one, and not that cackling hyena
who couldn't find Ukraine on a map of Ukraine.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Trump sees an endless war for what it is, a mountain of dead.
I want one thing to happen.
I want all of those young people to stop being killed.
They're being killed by the thousands every single week.
Last week, 2,700 were killed.
2,700 young, in this case, just about all young boys,
from Ukraine
and from Russia
and that's not young people
from the United States
but it's on a human basis
I want to see it stop
the money is one thing but the
death and they're losing
thousands of soldiers a week
now you can't get more
sensible than that which is why
all the Dems can do right now is
question Trump's methods
oh he's such a bully
he's so mean it's the same thing
said about Doge, the border, men and women's bathrooms,
and about everything that requires the sense and brains of an adult.
But look, Vlad, we could help pull those minerals out of the ground,
partner with solid American businesses so that Putin wouldn't dare try it again.
After all, Putin never attacked Ukraine with Trump in office.
So, buddy, it's time you recognized who your friends really are.
It ain't the Dems whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
It's a guy who dressed you down in front of the world.
So put on your big boy pants, even if it means shopping at Baby Gap.
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