Gutfeld! Monologues - Rebrand Or Double Down?

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on how California Governor Gavin Newsom appears to be pivoting fast to the center in his new podcast, while other Democrats are doubling down on the weirdness that cost them the 2024 Election. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. You're only Wow. All right. I got, enough. Enough. You're only clapping, so I'll validate your parking. Good evening, everyone.

So over the weekend, the Secret Service shot a man in a confrontation near the White House. In the man's defense, he honestly thought he still lived there. A ploplapping the shooting of a president. A Southwest Airlines flight had to return to the gate after a female passenger stripped naked and raised up and down the aisle. No. I was just waiting for a picture. No pictures. In a related story, guess who just booked a flight on Southwest? You have pictures? True, the naked woman ran around on the flight for 25 minutes. It confused many of the passengers who ended up seeing two landing strips that day. Meanwhile, an Air India flight was forced to return to the U.S. because of clogged toilets.

Sorry about that, said one passenger. Amazing. Over the weekend, a 4.1 magnitude earthquake shook Los Angeles. The tremors were so strong, L.A. Mayor Karen Bass felt them in Africa. The aftershocks were so intense, Gavin Newsom's hair actually moved. In fact, one was so strong. It actually flipped Gavin back to his original position on trans athletes. You weren't feeling it.

It's okay. You weren't feeling it. There were fractures. There were cracks. There were breaks. And that was just in Cher's face. I agree. I agree with you.

Over the weekend, a guy broke the world record for standing in the same spot for 38 hours straight, breaking the previous record of everyone who has been to the DMV. But 38 hours without moving, that's amateur hour, said one man. Futurists predict tech-obsessed humans could have hunchbacks and small. brains by the year 2100. I think we found patient zero for this study. And finally, Dylan Mulvaney was a guest on the view today. Dylan enjoyed being on the show, even though Mulvaney was the only one there without a penis. We'll be back with more Gutfeld.

Running a business comes with a lot of what-ifs. But luckily, there's a simple answer to them. Shopify. It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses, including Thrive Cosmetics and Momofuku, and it'll help you with everything you need. From website design and marketing to boosting sales and expanding operations,

Shopify can get the job done and make your dream a reality. Turn those what-ifs into sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash special offer. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for MintMobil. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal.

So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. A brunt payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. Seamintmobile.com. So tonight's topic, friends.

We all know what friends are. We have them ourselves. Well, maybe not all of us. I knew that was so. But we can talk to our friends honestly, and we can give our friends sound advice. Like the time I told M.C. Hammer, don't worry about money. You'll be popular forever. But also a good friend would tell you not to sing in public.

Which side are you on? Trump's coming for our unions. He wants us all to fail. He wants us to bow to him, but we want him in jail. I'm going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Science lights the way. No, it doesn't. You know, if they told us they'd stop singing if we impeached Trump, we might do it. But who would let you go out in public and sound so awful? Besides Maroon 5's tour manager. Not true friends, that's for sure.

But sadly, there's a group of people who don't understand the concept of friendship, and it's the modern Democrat. Here's Joy Behar talking about refusing to share a kidney. I find it bizarre. I think my friends with a Trump supporter. I won't give them a kidney, but I could be friends with them. Hey, Joy, it's a kidney, not a pizza. Of course, she's kidding at first, but then she goes on to explain the moral foundation for her resentment,

and it's the same one that drives all deadly ideologies. The thing about it is it's not just about politics, it's about morality, ethics, it's about cruelty, it's about discrimination, it's about a lot of things. So those are personal human values. We're not really just talking about fiscal conservative who pays more taxes. We're talking about you as a human being, so it's hard to be friends with someone who signs onto something like that. See what she did there? She removed the inhumanity of her adversary, placing them in a box labeled not wrong but evil. So now you can treat them the way you fantasize that they might treat you.

If you think they're Nazis, then you can act like Nazis. But once they lose elections, they decide, well, these bad people can do podcasts really well. That must have mattered. So let's do podcasts. But it's like Jesse Waters thinking he can play like Michael Jordan by shaving off the rest of his remaining hair. It's not going to work. But oh, once they get shellacked by so-called bad people, their solution is to do what the bad people do. Well, good luck, because they don't understand the organic nature of podcasting.

Podcasts were built on this concept called friends, with friends doing other friends' show without fear of being canceled. But since everything Dems do is inorganic, from the protests to their stupid TikTok videos, they assume they can just create artificially. make a podcast the same way. It's like watching the Super Bowl and thinking, yeah, I can do that too. Neglecting the years of experience and raw talent that leads to that moment. But they can't do podcasts for they have no friends,

meaning people who will be honest with them. It's why Dems do embarrassing in public. And how no one will tell Debbie Wasserman Schultz her hairstyle looks like someone dumped a casserole on her head. But if the podcast world is based on people who trust each other, how do Democrats find those people?

How can you make friends if everybody around you is terrified that one slip-up might land them in exile? That's how you get people to say, Rachel Levine is female and Chris Hayes is a man. That will never happen here, because we like you enough to call bullshit. But if Dems were to actually call BS, their so-called allies,

would turn on them, like Britt Hume does when you bring up his brief stint in Minuto. Look what happened with Joe Rogan. Where did all his lefty friends go? And countless other former libs who found freedom in the world outside woken. They realize that you can't work with someone who, when the going gets rough, abandons you. That's called an informant with friends like that who needs Mike Pence. It comes down to the three words of advice I've given to the very start of this crazy

business, share the risk. What you saw on the right, especially in podcasts and comedy, was the sharing of risk among friends. And that's appealing, and most of all, it's real. The Dem spent so much time cultivating fake compassion through identity politics in DEI that they abandoned the real thing, which means after every manufactured March, the leftist went home alone. Too miserable and wretched to feed their 27 cats. Because the recipe for their power, which is the power to cancel, burns every real human bridge in their lives. It's how

ideologies play out. For that system to expand, you have to reduce your humanity to a point where you can explain why letting a friend die without a kidney is your moral choice. But really, who wants one of Joyce kidneys anyway? Seriously, I'm sure the kidney wants to get out of there. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. I'm Janice Dean. Join me every Sunday as I focus on stories of hope and people who are truly rays of sunshine in their community and across the world. Listen and follow now at Fox News Podcast.com.

com.