Gutfeld! Monologues - Rosie O'Donnell Moves To Ireland!
Episode Date: March 13, 2025As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg jokes about why the Irish may have to prepare for another potato famine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors,
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Make yourself read this book.
That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle.
In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles,
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Thank you, my God.
Thank you.
I get the same response during my physical.
Good evening, everyone.
Well, to protest the election of Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell has moved to Ireland.
It's caused the Irish to brace for another potato famine.
But to her credit, Rosie is once again breaking stereotypes by showing the world that you could be both a refugee and really fat.
According to a new report, a U.S. Border Patrol agent would only let women into the country after they expose their breasts.
I had the same policy at the Oval Office, said one man.
Why not? AOC has been hit with an ethics complaint for using taxpayer funds for danced training.
Rashida Taleb also used taxpayer funds to cut a rug, but that's what she's called shave.
Tim's internal polling
shows they're losing ground among voters
in battleground states.
The good news, they appear to be gaining ground
among Hamas trannies.
That is like a paid laugh.
A new book claims California Governor Gavin Newsom
secretly funded a monument to himself inside San
Francisco City Hall.
Apparently, the statue is so realistic, it also does nothing.
The Trump administration said 50% of the Department of Education staff will be eliminated,
shocking the staff who exclaimed, wow, that's almost a third.
According to Doge, NASA spent $20 million on DEI.
training. As a result, here's a look at the next astronaut crew bound for orbit.
I would be for that, by the way. Doctors say fitness enthusiasts can experience an orgasm during
intense workouts. Well, some people will never have to worry about that. Disney is scaling
back the premiere of its Snow White remake this week. True, they're calling it the worst remake,
Madonna's face.
Madonna fans out there, huh?
And congrats to 68-year-old
Vanna White on getting her first tattoo.
Here it is.
Anyway.
All right.
Always works.
Bash Kilmead.
So as Doge shines the light,
the roaches run in.
fright this week, a senior official at USAID ordered her troops, or what's left of them,
to destroy all their documents at the Ronald Reagan building in D.C. That way, their files will
be emptier than Jerry Nadler's colon after Cinco de Mayo. According to the email from
the acting director, Erica Carr, shred as many documents first and reserve the burn bags
for when the shredder becomes unavailable or needs of
break. By the way, here's the shredder. Now, if you don't know what a burn bag is, it's not a sack
full of Kilme's books. It's a bag you put secret documents in so they can be burned without
anybody being able to read them. After four years of Biden, I bet they were relieved. It's
a bag only filled with paper. It's kind of weird, though, that a supposed aid group would
burn bags. Why must records of your humanitarian aid be destroyed?
It sounds like USAID was up to other nefarious stuff, and they're getting ready to call it quits as they make sure they didn't leave anything incriminating behind.
So like a junkie putting on a shirt with long sleeves, they're just covering their tracks.
We'll be back with more Gutfeld.
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And it raises a question. Will we be seeing more of this as useless bureaucrats are
shown the door. Well, we just learned that the Department of Education is being cut almost
in half. Now if they want to rob us, they'll have to do it the old-fashioned way, pretending to
meet us at a rest stop for sex and then stealing my wallet. According to current education
secretary Linda McMahon, the reduction in force reflects the Department of Education's commitment
to efficiency, accountability, and ensuring that resources are directed where they matter most
to students, parents, and teachers.
But wait, there's less.
Government, that is.
Ooh, see what I did there?
The EPA just terminated Biden's green grants worth $20 billion.
It's the first mess the EPA's actually cleaned up in decades.
And now Doge has revealed that $1.7 billion was spent on DEI alone.
Hell, you could have saved all that money by just printing a sign that's,
said, no more white men.
They could have borrowed it from Kim Kardashian.
Meanwhile, Veterans Affairs Secretary, Doug Collins, looked at only 2% of the contracts
at Veterans Affairs and found 900 million in waste.
That's infuriating, and I'm not even a vet.
I just wear the uniform to board the plane first.
So good on Trump.
He's created an environment where the mission is.
to save taxpayers' money by surfacing the abuse of our taxpayer funds.
Everyone working for Trump sees that they're really working for us
and they're competing for who finds the biggest pile of fraud.
Trump just turned government efficiency into another twist on the apprentice.
And the savings, which is fast approaching a trillion, we hope,
should impact the economy.
Because it's not tariffs that lead to inflation as the media lies.
It's the trillions in waste, fraud, and abuse,
which then justifies the printing of money,
which increases the money supply,
and that causes inflation.
Think about it.
Could it be the reason why eggs cost so much is DEI?
Figure, since most eggs are white.
But it makes more sense than blaming a tariff.
You know, pay a tax on something you don't buy.
That's a tariff.
Meanwhile, federal taxes make you pay for something you don't even use.
like condoms in Mozambique.
Hell, I'll never go to Mozambique.
Hell, I'll never use a condom.
And you've proved that time and time again, Tyrus.
You know, my whole life, people have talked about
cutting all the fat in the federal government.
Hell, those who have put in Pose doge now
were all about cutting waste years ago.
We simply must make the cut.
some waste, fraud, and abuse in Medicare. We owe it to our country.
There is an enormous amount of waste and fraud and abuse in this government.
When there is waste and fraud, you have an administration who should also be on top of that situation.
If we're going to eliminate the waste, fraud, and abuse in Medicare, it does mean we're going to cut some of that out.
We want to cut the bad stuff and keep the good stuff.
Wow, that sounds familiar.
And now it's finally happening.
And guess who's rooting against it?
Those assholes.
Yeah.
Put that picture up again.
That's waste.
That's fraud.
And that's abuse.
All right.
And those screen.
Creeps over at Animal Planet, agree.
The world's richest man, Elon Musk, is taking a financial hit.
The stock is down.
It's wiped out $800 billion in value.
This is the majority of Elon Musk's wealth.
It is tied up in this company.
So if this company goes away, so does his wealth.
That is so sad.
That is his wealth.
I haven't seen that much applause at the view since Joy balanced a donut on our nose.
So the world's richest man risks everything to save the country from financial ruin,
and they cheer for his failure.
And why?
Because their petty egos matter more than the future of America.
If Musk and Trump succeed, it means great things for us, but proves these hags were wrong again.
And if there's one thing we've learned about these losers, they'd rather be right and the world go to hell.
They'd be wrong.
And for you to be happy.
Let's welcome tonight.
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