Gutfeld! Monologues - She’s Turning Cell Block C Into High Society
Episode Date: January 14, 2023As seen on Gutfeld!, Co-host of the Jim Norton & Sam Roberts show on SiriusXM Radio, Jim Norton, Co-host of Outnumbered, Emily Compagno, and Co-hosts of the Tyrus and Timpf podcast, Tyrus a...nd Kat Timpf discuss an Ecuadorian man legally changing his gender to obtain full custody of his children. Later, the panel weighs in on Ghislaine Maxwell teaching etiquette classes in prison. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Let's welcome
tonight's guest
the thoughts in his head are so dirty
that his own hair ran away
comedian and co-hosts at the Jim Norton
and Sam Roberts show on SiriusXM
Jim Norton
She talks so fast
I keep thinking I'm supposed to bid on a cow
outnumbered co-host
Emily Campano.
She's never been asked
to babysit.
Fox News contributor cat's him.
And finally, when he sits down,
his ears pop.
My massive sidekick in the NWA World Heavyweight Champion,
Tyrus.
Jim, first of all, I would be remiss if I didn't say happy New Year to my dear friend Jim Norton.
Thank you, BCPL. I'm really happy to see you. Beefcake Power Lips.
Oh, thank you.
I'm so glad that you're one of the few people that knew my name.
I did, yeah. I was surprised when you called yourself Greg. I'm like, oh, right, got it.
I have an answer to your question, too, by the way.
What? I'm promoting a three-city tour Friday. I'm in Fort Worth, Saturday, Dallas, and then Sunday I'll be in Landish.
Okay.
I love how you decided to piggyback on a super awful joke.
I know, but I made it worse, and that's my gift.
So let me ask you, what do you make of the whole prison thing?
It seems like with every phenomenon, there's always a grift somehow.
This is what, I mean, it's like, and like, why can't people who are in administrative jobs,
like not see that this is obvious?
Well, I understand.
First of all, Tom Hanks' roommate and bosom buddies, I can kind of understand
why this person, I know it's a
1981 reference, but if you watch that, that's a good one.
Peter Scullari. Yeah. The late
Peter Sclery. I know, R-I-P.
Yeah. I get why you'd want to do this.
It's a brilliant strategy. I mean, you know, if I was
in prison, I'd just, if they could, you know, I'm a lady.
All right, go to the woman's prison. It's a smart move.
Yeah, exactly. You're less likely to be beaten up.
You'd probably get better meals.
Yeah. And the hygiene and bathing products,
there's nothing to laugh at, right, Emily.
You've been to jail.
You've been to jail.
But you are a lawyer. That's close enough.
Is that fair?
It's what the father doing fair to the mother
by changing his gender,
but nothing else about himself.
I actually like this
because there's nothing fair
about the justice system
that weighs so heavily
a gender over everything else.
And Ecuador is similar to California
in that the presumption
to overcome that weight is so strong.
It is so in the lack of favor for the dad.
I've seen case after case after case
in family court
where the injustice is just really apparent
for good dads that just want to spend time with their kids.
So I like it because he's calling out the system
for what it is, which is basically just a box
that has been checked, and then the entire system,
it's like a choose-your-own-adventure.
The entire system goes toward presumption of favor
for the mother, for everything,
for alimony, for time with your child,
for unaccompanied visits,
for a presumption of truth and honesty.
So statements that the mother makes
will all of a sudden have weight in court,
the same evidentiary weight
as an actual thing that you have to prove in other proceedings.
So the stacked against the males in that system, to me, is actually, it's patently unfair.
So I like this because it calls out, also similar to the prison thing, what our tax dollars pay for.
The system is set up right now.
It's a joke.
So these individuals that call it out, the fact that the sex change in prison, the Hannah Tubbs, do you remember her or him?
Right.
That was horrifying.
So I'm glad it's coming to light because these egregious cases are should what lobby the public,
to tell our congressmen to change the laws because this as it stands is unacceptable.
I remember, I don't know if it was the New York Times, I can't remember,
but the first trans person on death row was executed like two weeks ago.
Yeah, I can't remember it was Washington Post or the New York Times said,
it's very rare for a woman to die on death row.
The person who committed the crime was a man.
That's right.
But they don't want to talk about that, Tyrus.
What's your feeling on the...
Well, they're not alone.
They're not alone, Greg.
There's a lot of us.
I think I speak for everyone in this room
that we don't want to talk about this,
but since we're going to do this,
it's funny what they get upset about.
It's okay for them the game, the system.
But when a man does it,
who's fighting for his children,
he hasn't seen in months,
and the article went on to that
there was a lot of abuse on the other side.
So he's doing,
out of desperation,
willing to change his gender
on his driver's license
to try to get a fair shake in court.
But you know that once he goes to court,
the judge is then going to attack him
for trying to game the system,
which ultimately he'll end up in the same situation he was in.
So for men, they're going to remind them that he's a man
who try to do this to game the system.
But they won't do it for men who commit crimes.
Exactly.
To game the system.
So if I go to jail and I say,
well, actually I identify as a woman,
I'm not saying anything I'm not saying anything I'm not saying anything and once I get in there
yeah within six to eight months it's going to be a whole noon toward gen pop yeah because it's literally
going to be little G's running all over the place I mean you're locked up all day you know yeah
what else are you going to do so but it's true but you wouldn't be gaming this no one
I'm a game the system because I'm a criminal.
Yeah.
So here's the good, here's the, the good, the silver lining in this, okay thing is that when
this happens and crimes start happening to women in prison, then the virtue signalers might
do something about it.
But they won't do it when it happens to women in college sports.
They won't do it when it happens to men fighting for their kids, but they will do it
when their virtue signals start, when he goes in there and he starts hurting people, then
all of a sudden they're like, this is not good for us.
We're getting too much attention for it.
because they care more about criminals
than they do regular people.
You nailed it.
That's exactly the point
of the whole monologue.
Thank you.
Kat, I had no idea that Ecuador
is near the equator.
Yeah.
I didn't.
I didn't.
Did you?
See, okay.
I agree with Tyrus
that this isn't going to work
for Renee.
And I haven't been to Ecuador,
but I have been to its Wikipedia page.
That's good.
Today.
And it says,
same-sex couples can't adopt kids.
Can't? Yeah.
So that's even worse for this guy.
So it's not going to work. He did succeed, however, in the very noble pursuit of getting
attention. Yes.
Which I can't blame him there.
We are one of one show that's covering this on Fox.
I'm not shocked by that.
Yeah, I don't know. But for the prisoner, too,
inner sex is an actual biological thing.
So this person doesn't even know.
the system well enough to try to game
it. So this person's, in addition to
being a criminal, kind of stupid.
Well, there you go. This person got
in trouble for talking to people online
as intersex, but I think
they said he had an outfit that he
was wearing, which is way
too highly priced, if he asked me.
But he would wear an outfit in these weird
little chats to act
like he had a penis and a vagina, but it was a weird
outfit. Interesting.
Did he mention where he got that?
Ecuador.
Not in Ecuador.
No, yeah, I think it was, I think you can find it in Landish.
That's comedy, right?
Yeah.
All right, don't go anywhere.
We'll be right back.
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Welcome back.
She's turning cell block C into high society.
Galane Maxwell is reportedly hosting
etiquette courses for female inmates
at the Florida prison where she's serving a 20-year sentence
for procuring girls for Jeffrey Epstein.
It could really pay off during Bill Clinton's conjugal visits.
And it's a way for Gleyn to pass her time in the slammer
until Hillary murders her with love.
The Daily Mail reports she taught two classes a week last month
to as many as 40 convicts.
It's pretty smart.
It would be tough to assassinate her in front of that many witnesses.
And Glein's head, being surrounded by young women who've made bad choices
reminded her of the good old days.
Prison sources say are classes focused on three principles of etiquette,
respect, consideration, and honesty.
Because those who can't do teach.
Glenn's classes were so popular,
the prison approved another round set to begin soon.
So now if the inmates stab their cellmates,
they know which knife to use.
Imagine shanking someone with your shrimp fork
Talk about ghost.
Emily, is there a path to redemption for this woman?
I like this.
What say you, woman of the law?
Well, I will take off my attorney hat and just speak.
Were you wearing a hat?
Yeah, if it's invisible.
That, I hate this.
Yes.
Because, of course, this pompous, elitist, criminal, disgusting, manipulative,
monster thinks that everyone can learn from her. This is the narcissism that led her to groom
and also physically abuse all of those young women. I hope those 40 inmates shank her.
I really, and here's the thing, anyone can teach pretty much. Thanks for nothing.
Thank you. Anyone in prison pretty much teach, like you can teach an array of things. So that's
not, that's, that's really common. But I feel like exactly what she's teaching in the fact that
it has to be her is just one more
what? What? No, I was just thinking what I would teach, but that's a better
question for Jim. The subject matter has to be sort of approved. Really?
Greg, you can't just, I mean, you can't teach what you would teach.
Let's get real. You can't teach this. That would not be able. I thought you were going to do
writing courses. Yes. There you go. You know, work on penmanship, creativity.
That's exactly what you. Emily. That's exactly. I would turn them into
very, very accomplished
non-fiction writers.
Jim, you could teach a comedic
course. Stand up.
Yeah, sure. Stand up in prison.
Sure, it'd be more like bend over and kneel down.
Purely voluntary
if it's you, of course.
No, I mean, I mean, what is she
what etiquette do you need?
And what does she possibly know about
how to be dainty when you're dropping a sleeping pill
into Hawaiian punch?
Like, what exactly is she going to tell people?
Oh, no, no, not that napkin.
That's the one for your collar, not the back wiping napkin.
I don't know what she has to offer.
And how bad is your moral compass where a prison official says,
be more like Galane?
Totally, totally.
But I guess it means that everybody has some talent.
I mean, they're seeing her as a socialite coming in, you know, to teach her.
What bothers me, Tyrus, isn't it sexist that they don't have these classes in men's prisons?
Like, I would like, if I were in jail, I'd be nice to have, like, a little.
Some etiquette.
Yeah, okay.
Can we just stop this all right now?
Yes.
She's a pimp.
She's grooming new workers.
She's a pimp.
There's going to be some high-in warden.
She's getting the girls ready for a higher cartel.
Yeah.
No one sees this but me.
There's a book.
She's literally alone with girls telling them how to act.
That's literally what she did on the outside.
She's pimping ain't easy.
She's pimping on the other side.
Then she's going to come to the warden with like,
I got 40 girls that are ready.
That's why we have to get her safe.
So can I get a weekend for a lot?
No one sees this.
And all of a sudden, like a rented boat shows up and it's like all these swarthy, like other...
And then by the time I get there, you know, because if I go to jail, I'm identifying as a woman, I'll have 40 choices.
Yes, exactly.
It all works out.
She's a pimp.
Pay attention.
She's pimping.
Yes.
It's not Martha Stewart teaching them how to invest.
Yeah.
That, would you ever take an etiquette course from her?
No, manners are overrated.
Really?
Yeah, there's no moral.
It's just we all decided that this was the fork you're supposed to use.
You can have great manners and still be a total piece of shit.
And it almost hides when people are.
When people have manners, it's like, okay, cool, well, all you have fun.
Yeah.
You know, I think it's stupid.
You think it's stupid.
I think it's dumb.
And if that's, like, all you have to offer, then you just,
sound like a really boring, boring human.
Something to do in jail, though.
I mean, what else you're going to do?
Anything else?
You make it sound like it's a junior
college.
There are a lot of classes that are offered.
You know what I mean?
It's like, oh, it's not prison. It is deprived.
I would try to start a cult, obviously.
Yeah, yeah. I think that would be, I would
try to start a cult. A cult would be great.
Which is almost like teaching manners.
No. Power over manners any day.
Yeah, but they would obey you in a polite way.
I create the manners.
Yeah, there you go.
I think we've learned nothing on that.
Do we have time for Jimmy to plug something?
Well, thanks, Greg.
Friday night, Hyenas Comedy Club in Fort Worth.
Saturday, Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas.
That's it.
Thank you.
Fantastic.
Thank you, Emily, Jimmy, Kat, Tire, Studio Audit.
Fox News, and that was Jimmy J. Salis.
Next time, Greg, I'm a workout for all of your America.
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