Gutfeld! Monologues - Should We Rename New Mexico, "Even Better Mexico?"

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg delivers a monologue commenting on President-elect Trump's most eye-opening foreign policy promises and President Biden's final moves in office.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yeah, who's your daddy-hawned-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, who's your daddy? Happy Tuesday, everyone. So President-elect Trump said he wants to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. But that's not all. He also wants to change New Mexico to even better Mexico. As for Canada, he plans on renaming it North, North Dakota.

He also suggested changing the Bermuda triangle to that big, beautiful, sexy triangle. in the gorgeous blue Atlantic. Finally, he wants to change Samoa to thin mince. That's really stupid, but I'm glad you laughed. So New York City saw a staggering 146% spike in felony assaults by repeat offenders. They also saw a 146% increase in assaults with spikes. I'm leaving it in, I don't care.

Meanwhile, New York City's transit chief claims that fears of subway crime are all in people's heads. Also in people's heads? Spikes. See, it was worth it, you jerkoffs. A group of feral hogs has been terrorizing Irving, Texas, tearing up yards and rooting through garbage. Well, I had no idea the view was filmed in Texas. Yeah, we're back to that. A massive tuna sold for $1.3 million at a Japanese auction.

It's the best money I ever spent, said one man. He's a friend. Yeah, 700 former employees are suing McDonald's because their managers demanded sex in exchange for extra hours. One thing's for sure, the next time I go to McDonald's, I'm going to ask them to hold the special sauce. I know. Disgusting. Disgusting. Speaking of McDonald's, they're the latest corporation to roll back DEI policies. It's a shocker, given they were the first fast food policy. place to hire a person of color. Finally, a Canadian woman experienced rapid breast growth going from a B cup to a triple G.

What? Due to an adverse reaction to the Pfizer COVID shot. I think we have a picture of the woman. I'm back. Took me two days. We tried. So it's clear that MAGA may be the most consequential political movement in a century. But right now we're experiencing another movement.

And unlike MAGA, this one really stinks. Biden's last B. Yeah. You won't see that on the Faulkner focus. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.

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Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upbrum payment of $45 for three-month plan, $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biding novel from time to time,

With services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. So, he's crapping on us, okay? Follow me. You saw that Biden just released 11 detainees with suspected al-Qaeda ties from Gitmo, including two of Bin Laden's bodyguards. I believe we have a picture of the bodyguards right here.

But wait, as Joy Behar once said after her doctor sought off a dozen skin tags, there's more. Joe just banned all drilling offshore. And it has nothing to do with Epstein's Island. Oh, God. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Joe. Let's make energy prices skyrocket

when people are already having a hard time economically. He understands the nation like P. Diddy understands the age of consent. And yet another bold move guaranteed to restore American greatness, the White House decided to ban natural gas-fired water heaters. And here I thought these dips, love to gaslight. But I don't understand why Joe despises fossil fuels, since that's what Joe's going to be when they cremate them.

This, on top of Biden's commutation of federal death row inmates, ensuring that taxpayers are on the hook for the lifelong care and feeding of murderers and child rapists. Democrats. They look at murderers on death row, like starving children in Africa. For just a few dollars a month, you can keep them fed in clothes. I'm surprised they don't send us a picture of them every month and a letter telling us how well they're doing. Dear Greg, I only shank two guards today. And me and the boys are hosting a toilet wine tasting and sell block C.

Think about it. The money that would go to feeding your kid goes to feed a heinous criminal. But enough about Liz Cheney's pension. Then there's the pardons, including the one he promised us was never coming. If you believe that, I've got an MSNBC to sell you. We already talked to.

about his medals of freedom. What a joke. What's next? Hunter, getting a purple heart for getting crabs in the Navy. Oh, my God. What's going on here? First, Biden and the Democrats are truly bad at everything, including losing. They lost. Instead of maybe asking, hey, did we misread the room? They decided the problem isn't them. It's the room. And so what do they do? They trash the room, i.e. our country. They're like, bitter X you just dumped, who keys your car, poisons the fish in your coy pond, burns all your copies of penhouse letters. It's the last time I date anyone from outnumbered. And like any bitter X, they believe we just didn't understand how much they cared about us. And we really didn't

show the kind of empathy and concern to average, or show enough of it, to average, uh, uh, uh, working families who didn't realize how much we had done and how much we care for them. Really, Penguin? What have you done to show that you cared? Release criminals, destroy the border, defend the butchery of kids? The last time somebody cared about me that much, I was on Valtrex for three years. You want to know the worst part? We still don't know who's calling the shots. You think Joe actually knew who the killers were, whose sentences he commuted?

You think he really knew what he was signing when these orders on drilling came through? No, he thought he was ordering tapioca pudding for dessert. Right now, the White House is essentially a bunch of sullen brats fighting to get daddy to sign a will that gives them all the goodies they ever wanted. Out of anger, arrogance, and disbelief that they didn't outsmart all of America, they're grabbing what they can as they go out the door like a smash and grab at K jewelers. Now they could reflect on what they did wrong and do better, but they're not interested in changing, only destroying.

And by doing so, they remind Americans why they went with the other guy. It's quite a disparity. In this transition, it's a contrast unlike any I've ever seen. Have you? The incoming guy is determined to do the job for Americans to reciprocate your trust in him. You defended him, you fought for him, now he's doing what you expect him to do. The outgoing guy, he's a cardboard corpse employed by unnamed radicals, not to save America, but to punish it. And you, the American voter, have no impact on their desires.

But wasn't that always the case with Democrats? It's just that now everyone sees it. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy host of the Tragaddy podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.