Gutfeld! Monologues - SpaceX To The Rescue

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg comments on Elon Musk's SpaceX rescuing two American astronauts who were stranded in space for 9 months. And with good news here comes the Dems to ruin it, Greg reacts to retired astronaut Arizona Senator Mark Kelly's performative disapproval of Tesla. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Hold your applause. All right, all right, right, right, right, right. Hold your applause, just send photos. On Saturday, Donald Trump was hit in the face by a reporter's microphone while speaking. Now he knows how Stormy Daniels felt. You know, the sound guy. That's a great joke.

A fisherman from Peru survived being stranded in the ocean for 95 days by eating insects, birds, and sea turtles, which proves one thing, he's a horrible fisherman. What's your problem, dude? A professor is suing his school for losing a 380 million-year-old fossil that ended up in the garbage. Yeah, I was wondering where Geraldo went. You punk, Greg, you young punk. You're just a punk.

You're just a punk. A man that Washington governor, Jay Inslee, gave clemency to, was caught with enough fentanyl to kill nearly 300,000. people. Joe Biden wasn't impressed saying, Hey, I pardoned a guy who killed 10 times that. Snow White premiered in Los Angeles on Saturday. It's the worst thing to happen to this city all year, said firefighters. Over the weekend, Bill Belichick and his 23-year girlfriend went to Florida. to celebrate spring break.

She won a wet t-shirt contest, and he won a wet diaper contest. Finally, an L.A. man whose lap was scalded by tea at Starbucks was awarded $50 million. When asked how much pain he was in, he replied, a latte. I feel dirty. Hey, hey, it's free.

free. Oh, that joke wasn't that good. Okay, you write one. So once again, that evil bond villain Elon Musk scores yet another victory, and this time it wasn't something mundane like helping the paralyzed walk or finding billions of wasted taxpayer dollars or impregnating anyone who tests drives a Tesla. No, this time all he did was send a spaceship to rescue two American astronauts who've been stranded on the International Space Station for nine months. Yeah, nine months. Thank you. Thanks.

I mean, nine months, even for me, that's a long time to be pooping in vacuums. Here's Musk's SpaceX starship docking in orbit with the International Space Station. Isn't that something? That might be the most amazing footage since I saw Jesse Waters actually holding the door for a pregnant lady on crutches.

But is there anything else on anyone else on Earth who could even attempt something like this? The guy just sent into orbit a tin can about half the length of a football field to merge with an even bigger tin can, all going 1,700 miles an hour. Now, it's true that Musk has had a lot of practice at this sort of thing.

After all, he's got 14 kids. Even so, he was willing to risk his space company's reputation in order to get these yanks back home. And while they're not back yet, they are literally halfway home. But it's like I said after I got that Korean houseboy through customs.

The hard part is over. And it sure beats waiting for the corpse to show up because he never did. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Did you know that at Chevron, you can fuel up on unbeatable mileage and savings? With Chevron Rewards, you'll get 25 cents off per gallon on your next five visits.

All you have to do is download the Chevron app and join to start saving on fuel. Then you can keep fueling up on other things like adventure, memories, vacations, daycations, quality time, and so many other possibilities. Head to your nearest Chevron station to fuel up and get rewarded today. Terms apply. See Chevron Texcorewards.com for more details. The best coast just got better. Introducing Quantum of the Seas. sailing from L.A. this fall. Conquer next-level thrills on the boldest ship in the West, like flowrider surf sessions, bumper cars, and soaring 300 feet above sea level on the North Star, plus more than 15 dining options on board, all between discoveries in Ensenada and even

overnights in Cabo. You've never done Mexico like this. Book your Boulder-Baha adventure from Los Angeles today. Come seek the Royal Caribbean. Itineraries vary by sale date, ships registry Bahamas. It was Joe Biden, says Musk, who apparently turned down Elon's. to rescue our astronauts. I wonder if it had anything to do with the offer coming before November 5th. So Biden was willing to leave our people in space as if they were billions in military gear in Afghanistan.

Here's one of the astronauts thanking Musk and Trump ahead of the mission. All of us have the utmost respect for Mr. Musk and obviously respect and admiration for our President of the United States, Donald Trump. We appreciate them. We appreciate all that they do for us of our human spaceflight for our nation. spaceflight for our nation. And we're thankful that they are in the positions they're in. I wonder if her hair gets in that guy's tang.

Wear a hat. So while Team Trump's superhero was saving astronauts, what were the Dems up to? More specifically, what's a current actual astronaut on Earth doing? Well, he's not helping the stranded, that's for sure. No, instead, Democrat Senator Mark Kelly is melting down on social media selling his Tesla and buying a Chevy Tahoe. Taho. Tahoo? Here in Washington, driving to work for the last time in my Tesla. When I bought this thing, I didn't think it was going to become a political issue. Every time I get in this car in the last 60 days or so, it reminds me of just how much damage Elon Musk and Donald Trump is doing to our country. Elon Musk kind of not to be an asshole. And I don't want to be driving the car built and designed by an asshole.

Here I am with my new ride, Chevy, good old Chevy Tahoe. All right, Jack. So here's a guy who once, all right, I'll take it. It's cheap, but I'll take it. Why not? Clap away. But here's a guy who once pretended to care about the environment, saying that climate change was an existential threat. And now, for some cheap political attention, he's burning bridges and fossil fuels. Could there be a clearer contrast between a team that gets things done and a team that is all narrative imposing? It's insane.

Mark Kelly may be one of the few people who could appreciate what it's like to be stranded. He's a freaking astronaut and a military vet. It's kind of telling that Kelly had to be a quality person at some point, and now he's leading the mob against Musk, a mob that vandalizes Tesla's, spray paints, swatzikas, and the word Nazi on dealerships? So maybe it isn't really about Kelly.

It's about what the current Democrat mindset does to people, even seemingly decent people. I mean, Senator Kelly, the guy you're vilifying is rescuing astronauts, who are your people, and you've resorted to a theater kid tantrum that elevates the worst rather than hope for the best. It's funny, 10 years ago, this rescue mission would be wall-to-wall coverage. It would be a national shared event like the moon landing, except this one would be real.

I know. Now, it's not even worth a mention on legacy media. Of course, if the astronauts don't make it back, then it'll be all over the news because in their minds, bad news under Republicans makes great news for them. So you've got to ask, what sort of phenomenon roots against American heroism

to a point where it makes an astronaut dump on a guy who's rescuing other astronauts? The answer is a party whose ideology roots against shared risk, bold moves, and national aspirations. It rails against actual action in favor of choreographed phony outrage. It's a party that managed to turn Mark Kelly into whatever that is. Mark Kelly isn't Mark Kelly anymore.

I guess the left can say they at least accomplished that. They turned an astronaut into just another. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show. and free on the Amazon Music app. From the Fox News Podcasts Network. Hey there, it's me. Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast.

Kennedy saves the world. It is five days a week, every week. Download and listen at Fox Newspodcast.com or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.