Gutfeld! Monologues - Tell Me Five Things You Did Today!

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg comments on the pushback Elon Musk has received for asking all federal employees to justify their jobs by listing 5 things they accomplished last week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. What? Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. What, no last name? Good evening, everyone. And so over the weekend, MSNBC canceled Joy Reid's TV show. And according to the network, all of her wigs were quickly released back into the wild. There they go.

When asked about her future plans, Ms. Reed claims she plans on spending more time with her family, accusing her relatives of racism. Elon Musk said all federal employees have to send an email saying what they accomplished in the past week. Musk said, I'll start. I fathered five different kids. Probably true. Hooters is reportedly preparing for bankruptcy.

Now will I get lunch? Asked one man. It's pretty ironic, though, that Hooters is going tits up. Oh. I know. You know, that was not necessary. I could have just moved on. Donald Trump is looking to sell off the Nancy Pelosi federal building in San Francisco. It's in pretty good shape, too, having been maintained by the same construction company that built her face. Tiny people. A wild brawl broke out at the Spirit Airlines gate at the Atlanta airport.

As punishment, every spirit passenger was allowed to board their flight. After a trans female basketball player missed her game, the team ended up losing by 26 points. But on the bright side, they didn't have to shower in their uniforms afterward. That's a good joke. A large number of Asian voters in San Francisco have announced they are walking away from the Democratic Party. Well, thank God they're not driving. or we'd all be in danger.

Oh, racist, we'd say. Applating a racist? You're terrible. According to Chris Christie, the Trump administration is a clown car. And after saying that, he left in his car. Finally, the Yankees have lifted their decades-old no facial hair policy. Wow. Now, now I can finally play.

in New York, said one woman. All right. It's a sad moment for the show. Joy Reed is out. Of course, we're heartbroken, for she provided this show with more material than a seamstress at the view. On slow news days,

Joy was always there to help with a racist rant. I loved her. Remember these golden oldies? We do have a fashion. groundswell in parts of this country, mainly among white men. What they're saying is we own this country, and everyone will bow down to us. In America, there's a thing about both white vigilantism and white tears, particularly male white tears.

Now, I don't like to use hyperbole, but Joyce firing is the biggest blow to racist since the Confederacy lost. Because not only did cable news lose a bigot, but the bigot herself might finally get the round-the-clock care that she really needs. But you've got to wonder how she was able to last this long. The irony, of course, is in her name, for did joy bring any joy to anyone's life? No.

Oh. I didn't know this was a call-and-response show. But think about it. I'm willing to bet no one ever said, you know, I was going through a tough period in my life, and listening to Joy Reid really got me through it. If anything, it was their tough periods in life that got them through Joy Reed. But that's the problem with MSNBC and legacy media.

Their income was based on making life worse. Instead of focusing on real stuff, they created hoaxes, ones that sowed division in hopelessness. Now, Joy's firing came on the heels of MSNBC's parent company, NBCUniversal, settling a $30 million defamation lawsuit with a Georgia gynaecologist. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.

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Up front payment of $45 for three-month plan, $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and Fast Free Delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into.

Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. I know, Georgia. In 2020, the network reported that the doctor working at an ICE detention center was performing unwanted hysterectomies on immigrant women. The network called the doctor the uterus collector. I know, that was my nickname in California. Here's how they reported it. Just to underscore that.

The allegation here is that this is a federal facility, and they have been sending immigrant women in their care, in their custody, to a doctor who has removed their reproductive organs for no medical reason and without them consenting to it. The nurse says that detained women told her they didn't fully understand why they were undergoing hysterectomies. You talk about in the complaint, a hearing from women who are detained there, talking about a specific doctor, performing hysterectomies, referring to him as a uterus collector. Oh, yeah. Chris Hayes was one of those who peddled this story about the uterus collector, but his only proof was that his was missing. And yes, the story sounds horrible, almost too horrible to believe.

But for people in legacy media who suspend common sense on all things Trump, it was just too good to check. It had to be true. But it wasn't. And the tip off right away is that these hacks would actually condemn a doctor forcibly collecting uteruses. Because when it comes to kids, it's lovingly called gender affirmation care. And you'd think the fact that no one else was reporting this might have been another clue for these great investigative journalists. Although calling Nicole Wallace, Chris Hayes, and Rachel Maddow journalists, it's like calling Stacey Abrams, Jerry Nadler, and J.B. Pritzker, plus-size models.

So how far were they off? Well, the judge in the case states that there's undisputed evidence has been established that there were no mass hysterectomies at the facility, and the doctor is not, quote, a uterus collector. So other than that, their reporting was perfect. So MSNBC has reportedly decided to settle up rather than risk a trial. But you still got to wonder how this story, this hoax, got this far. Well, what was the point of the hoax in the first place?

To damage Trump and his determination to finally tighten the border. They wanted to believe it was true. You know, like when I told that flight attendant, it was a war injury. The anchors just love the idea that there was a sinister doctor, forcibly removing uteruses so that these women couldn't have kids after entering the U.S. It's so evil, so fascist, so Trumpian. Seriously, how soon will Hollywood make a movie of that? The evil doctor could be played by Kevin Spacey.

Yeah. And the uterus could be played by Peter Dink. It makes no sense. Don't try to make sense of it. But again, how do they fall for this garbage? Well, first, maybe they felt that if they were wrong, of course, no one would check. But also, any belief system is a continuum.

And if you go far enough out with it, you can arrive at a very bad place, especially if you already start at a bad place. Like, say, Trump is Hitler. Like Trump, Hitler was also viewed as a clown, a goon, who could be kept in line. It was blatant fascism meets the Jerry Springer show. If that sounds vaguely familiar, that's because it is. Similarities to what happened in Germany and what's happening now in America are just undeniable.

Violent, terrifying, and sometimes bizarre conspiracy theories that set the table for maybe armed resistance to a Kamala Harris win or massacist. acceptance of American fascism. Let me know when you guys are finished fighting amongst yourselves who I got to vote for in November to keep Hitler out the White House. If it's Biden in a coma, I'm going to vote for Biden in a coma. You'd vote for Biden in a coma.

But why not? You did the same thing in 2020. Meanwhile, coma patients are blinking out Morse code for, come on, guys, we're not that bad. Amazing. But you can see how Joy laid the groundwork for the hoax. So what's left of MSNBC? Well, they're replacing Joy with a three-person panel.

So if it's a slow newsday, they can call each other racist. Which raises the other question. Maddo and the others pushed the uterus story, Reed did not. So why is Joy fired and the rest of them aren't? Is it because they're all white? No. I mean, here's a case where Joy can actually cry racism. And finally, for once, it might be true.

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