Gutfeld! Monologues - That's Our Jazzy

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg shares the weeks 'Leftover' jokes and pokes fun at Jamine Crockett's most recent interview. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. All right, all right, all right. We got to make this quick. I left my baby in the car. car. Don't worry. I roll down a window. Let's welcome tonight's guest. Shockingly, he had no plans for Juneteenth. Fox News contributor Tom Shaloo. The only thing that scares him is rust. Author of the great new book behind the pad, Johnny Joey Jones. He looks like the guy who asks

young girls if they want to get into modeling. Comedian Adam Hunt. and her baby's already tired of her crying. New York Times, the best-selling author and positive to get a contributor cat to him. All right. They still like you, cats. I know. I love you.

OK, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Yeah. Greg's leftovers. Mmm. Yeah, it's leftovers. Where I read the jokes we didn't use this week. And as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll send Joe Mackey to Israel dressed as the Ayatollah.

Next week's heat wave is expected to smash dozens of records in New York, Philly, and Chicago. In fact, Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker has already declared his crotch a disaster area. And in New York, Jerry Nadler has already tested positive for change. Chafing. Scientists are baffled by a mysterious hill that looks like giant lips from Google Earth. Even more baffling is the existence of this giant ass that can also be seen from Google Earth. Amazingly, Donald Trump did not release a single illegal border migrant in the month of May. Wow. No wonder my lawn looks like crap.

Researchers have discovered a new way to treat herpes. As a result, guests who just announced plans to start dating again. Good for you. I'm not the least bit interested in that topic at all. I'll have you know. New York City mayoral hopeful Andrew Cuomo is calling for ICE agents. to take off their masks. Not surprisingly, he's also calling for female ice agents

to take off their tops. A man walked into a Detroit store and defecated in the shoe aisle. The suspect is a mid-30s male and the poop, a size 9 triple E. According to a new study, older adults in the U.S. are increasingly dying from unintentional falls.

The study also found one woman who always seems to be on the scene when it happens. Two black drag queens put on a drag show on the floor of the Oregon House of Representatives. The Oregonians were shocked by what they saw black people. GOP senators mock Democrats for skipping the hearing about the cover up of Biden's cognitive

decline. In fairness, the Democrats did get a note from their doctor. The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Tennessee's ban on sex changes for kids. So now if a boy wants to become a girl, he has to do it the old-fashioned way by playing soccer. I played soccer just so you know. Elon Musk posted a copy of his urine test to prove that he's not using drugs. Can I borrow those test results? Asked one man. And can I have that urine?

Asked another man. Katelyn Clark got knocked to the ground by three opposing players in the WNBA game. You know, I'm going to say it again. It's never okay for men to beat up women. Just a joke. A new study found being brutally honest with your partner can benefit both of you, especially if you both wanted divorce. A new study claims gay students are less likely to graduate medical school. The reason, they keep intentionally failing their prostate exams.

It's a joke. A New York man may have earned a world record by playing golf for 36 hours straight. He credits this to hating his wife. And finally, a new study suggests a majority of people think about an X while masturbating. Then what's the point of the mirror on my ceiling? We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Flying first class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying the journey.

Stretch out with industry leading leg room. Sink into an adjustable headrest and cozy up with a custom filsen blanket on long flights. Savor hot fresh meals, never frozen, and sip on our custom stump town coffee. Brewed to taste great at 30,000 feet. Upgrade your next trip. Now at alaskaair.com. This episode is brought to you by Dogfish Headcraft Brewery. The Grateful Dead and Dogfish Head have gotten the band back together

with the release of Grateful Dead juicy pale ale, a light body pale ale brewed with sustainable kerns of grains, granola, and heaps of good karma for a refreshing brew that's music to your taste buds. Available nationwide, visit dogfish.com to find Grateful Dead juicy pale ale in your neck of the woods. Dogfish Head Craft Brewery is located in Milton, Delaware. please drink responsibly let's get ourselves out of the gutter so by now you think the dumbest person on earth would admit to biden's horrific decline you thought wrong which means it's time for

she's number one at being dumb the new face of the dnc gather round because that's our jazzy Enter Texas Congresswoman and future Applebee's waitress, Jasmine Crockett. Here she is chatting with Katie Couric, who once televised her own colonoscopy. So if you're counting, that's two assholes Kirk has put on TV. Despite Joe's drooling dementia, did our Jazzy ever see anything in Biden that made her wonder whatsoever? I never saw anything in Joe Biden that made me wonder whatsoever. And it's not that I was with Joe Biden every single day, that's for sure. But I will tell you that I will take a broken or however they want to describe Joe Biden over Donald Trump any given day.

Because, number one, I know Joe Biden's heart. No offense, dear, but as a doctor, you're even less qualified than Dr. Jill. Joe's heart is the least of his problems. The last time he turned his head and coughed, dust came out of both ends. It gets worse. Even if you're saying that there was a mentally deficient Joe Biden, I know that he absolutely had a mental acuity that is supreme when it comes to comparing him to Donald Trump, because at least he kept good people around him. Even if we want to say, which I refuse to accept, that Joe Biden was mentally deficient, let me tell you something. His mental deficiency is still a thousand times better than what we

currently have. First of all, can you trust somebody who left the coat hanger in her jacket? But Biden's mental acuity is supreme? Maybe if you mean a burrito supreme, with half the beef and twice the diarrhea. It is touching when you think about it, a black woman with so much respect for a senile old white man. It's like driving Miss Daisy meets visiting angels. But Jasmine wasn't done. She also took a shot at anyone who supported the recent military parade. You know, thinking that you have your own special little army that's for you, I mean, it is just, it is sick.

It is really sick. And anybody that supports it is also sick. everyone, no matter how you affiliate yourself, should be against Trump, period. I would give anything to have, sad to say, George Bush. Like, give me any regular Republican nowadays, and I would be happy. Sorry, babe. America had regular Republicans before. Mavericks like John McCain and losers like Mid Romney.

And the Dems insisted they were Hitler, too. Fact is, if Barack Obama switched parties and ran as a Republican, they'd call him Nazi too. Because it doesn't matter which Republican is in power. Clowns like her would still roll out the same playbook, but the playbook is dead, just like the Democrats. See, the Democratic Party is like that aging swinger at the hotel bar, who's dressed from a different era and looks a mess. A few decades ago, he had game and there were enough gullible people to buy his lines. But over time, people got wind of his grift and learned to stay away from him. And yet there he is, still at the bar using his same old lines.

Trump is Hitler. Maga is fascist. Gutfeld is only a nine. I know. We know. Thank you. So why is it no one buys their BS anymore? Well, they used to have an all-powerful legacy media covering for them. But while the media still backs them,

they're about as effective as Rosie O'Donnell promoting Victoria's Secret. CNN has zero credibility. The only thing Bryant Stelter's a reliable source for is the locations of all you can eat buffets. Crocett's like a biker who starts barfights, but the gang, she once relied to back her up, just showed up on segways. Meanwhile, as the so-called moderates have fled, the only people left are the obnoxious nutters like Crockett, Waltz, and Booker. It's why the party can't distance itself from extreme positions and why the extremes won't distance itself from them. And nothing pisses off the middle of the road voters like a bunch of protesters blocking the road. It's a perfect reminder that while you're trying to get to work or pick up your kids, these spoiled douchebags are having a blast making everyone else miserable.

The result? Voters run away. And so as the party becomes increasingly isolated, filled with cretons too crazy to go anywhere else, it becomes even more radical. It's like an insane asylum where the only patients left are the ones who can't go anywhere else. And the Dem voters are starting to get this. A new poll finds that 62% of Dems agree with a statement, the leadership of the Democratic Party should be replaced with new people, meaning they want a strong leader who focuses on things like the economy and helping families,

which kind of sounds like they want a Trump. No wonder the Dems demonized him. It's the only thing a dead tree can. can do, throw what little shade they have left. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy host of the Trey Gatti podcast. I hope you will join me every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together

and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcast.com.