Gutfeld! Monologues - The Best Of Gutfeld!: Promises Made, Promises Kept

Episode Date: April 12, 2025

The best of Gutfeld!, Greg delivers a monologue on how the usual "woke" suspects, from The View to Brian Stelter, are freaking out about how President Trump is actually following through with the policy items he campaigned on.  Original Air Date: January 31, 2025 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. I know. I know. You never thought this could happen to you. But here I am. Yeah. Danish. Danish scientists have to discovered a patch of 66 million-year-old vomit that's being hailed as a national treasure. Well, that beats us. In America, all we had was an 81-year-old piece of crap in the White House. Ooh. Ooh. The view shared a clip of Bordersar Tom Homan, warning, quote,

if you're in the country illegally, you're on the table. Causing Joy Behard to immediately ask for a napkin and some silverware. She's a cannibal. Also on the view, Sarah Haynes says that her co-hosts are out of touch with Americans because none voted for Trump. But they're also out of touch because no one will touch them. Lays just issued a recall on some of their potato chips that if consumed, could result in death. Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

take, said one man. Chris Christie is so happy that this guy's back. RFK's cousin Caroline Kennedy attacked him as being unqualified to become HHS secretary. Sheesh. The way she's reacting, you'd think her uncle drowned his secretary. It makes you think, though, right? Donald Trump says he's using his emergency powers to increase water flow to California. And water is so plentiful in L.A. now, they actually had to move Tom Cruise to higher ground.

L.A. Mayor, Karen Bass, says Pacific Palisides will be rebuilt by an outside consultant. I think we have a picture. CNN's Brian Stelter reviewed Caroline Levitt's first White House press briefing and called it theater. And he knows theater in the musical Oklahoma. He played Oklahoma. President Trump ordered a freeze on federal grants and loans. Meanwhile, we're still trying to figure out who ordered the freeze on Mitch McConnell. It's funny.

And finally, a new study says that dads could get postpartum depression, too. Not if you nail the nanny, said one man. It's not bad. Okay, let's do this. Settle down, kids. So why is it that the source of many of our country's problems can be traced to innocuous phrases? Like when a doctor says it's a simple procedure and two minutes later he's got his fist up my butt. It's how liberals work. They give things titles and names that sound so benign. Things like gender affirming care, undocumented immigrants, or pregnant people. But add to that, NGOs.

It stands for non-governmental organization. Something non-government. How could that be bad? True, it sounds safe, even boring. I hear non-governmental organization and I'm like, see you later. I'm off to one of my slaughterhouses to butcher an unprofitable racist. horse. Wow.

That one landed. This is a tough crowd. Not laughing about butchered horses. See, I actually thought NGOs were charities, like the ones I support for homeless runway models. What's it called? I don't know. But NGOs are not charities far from them. Many powerful NGOs have fueled America's illegal crisis by subverting the laws, by actively transporting migrants into the country,

moving them from one city to the next to avoid detection, and basically throwing your money around like Hunter in the champagne room at the Rubbed Tug Lounge. They provide transportation to get illegal to our border with shelter and services along the way and legal services to circumvent our immigration laws once they arrive. Now, you must have wondered as you watched the migrants streaming across the border, how did they even get to that point? Who was aiding and supplying them? Those migrants, they didn't appear hungry or desperate. They were mostly well-fed dudes in decent clothes with backpacks and cell phones. They were better off than my writers. True, one of them has scurvy.

But, you know, I tell him he's got a pirates tan. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the Switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts.

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New customer offer first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. So who was behind this? Well, as it turns out, you and I are without our knowledge. Yeah, you assumed NGOs didn't have their fingers in your wallet when in reality, they're pickpocking you like an illegal on the A train. And they profit from doing things that were considered illegal for Uncle Sam to do himself. And they receive a bulk of their funding from us. But under Trump, as always, we learn about the stuff that's been made deliberately complicated, so

we don't learn about it. Last week, he signed an executive order suspending refugee admissions into the U.S. And soon after that, the State Department issued a freeze on foreign aid. And that freeze included a stop work order to their NGO partner refugee groups, effectively halting their funding. And perhaps the biggest scam since I sold all that counterfeit propitia to Jesse. But now these groups are furious because for years, under Biden's State Department, they'd been using your money to help the migrant train from South America to your town. Now, I don't blame them for being pissed. Human trafficking just got a lot less profitable. But it's crazy. We go to work and the government uses our taxes to help

criminals break our laws. And when Trump decides to solve the problem, out comes Hitler. The fear and the panic and the division is, I think, something that we should all be concerned about. When you start having Gestapo raids in America. If that sounds vaguely familiar, that's because it is. Similar similarities to what happened in Germany. Hmm. You know what else is similar to what happened in Germany? Everything.

Everything you can compare. Except I don't remember people sneaking into Nazi Germany than pushing people off subway platforms and getting free hotels. But then again, I slept through college. Speaking of violent crime, Watch what Stephen Miller does to Jake Tapper. The Department of Agriculture says that between 2020 and 2022, 42 percent of crop workers were undocumented immigrants.

And in many cases, as you know, these migrants do jobs. Many Americans do not want to do. I'm sure it's not your position, Jake. You're just asking the question that we should supply America's food with exploitative, illegal alien labor. I obviously don't think that's what you're implying. Only 1% of alien workers in the entire country work in agriculture. The illegal aliens that Joe Biden brought into our country are not full stop doing farm work. They are not.

The illegal aliens he brought in from Venezuela, from Haiti, from Nicaragua, they are not doing farm work. They are in our cities collecting welfare. Nice. And so Tapper believes illegals do what Americans don't want to do. But sorry, Jake, even they won't watch CNN. But as always, you also have the grandstanding political hacks going against what America wants. Here's Minneapolis mayor, Jacob Fry. I want to speak directly to people who are undocumented.

We love you. We will stand up for you. And we will do anything in our power to help. Because you're not an alien in our city, you're a neighbor. Our police officers will not be cooperating with federal law enforcement around federal immigration law. We enforce state and local laws here. As for cooperation with ICE, the answer is no. Man, we have to stop electing theater kids to government.

That guy should be hosting Blues Clues. So now, whether this funding freeze works or not, at least America is finally seeing the grift at work. Trump does it again. He pulls that curtain back and now you start to understand how we got to this place and it's so ugly you'd think you're watching the view. Let's welcome tonight's guest. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show

ad-free on the Amazon music app. This is Jimmy Phala, inviting you to join me for Fox Across America where we'll discuss every single single one of the Democrats' dumb ideas. Just kidding. It's only a three-hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast at Fox Across America.com.