Gutfeld! Monologues - The Democratic Party Is On Life Support

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg applauds President Trump rising above attacks from Leftist media, after the Signal chat leak. Plus, he comments on how Democrats can't seem to catch a break... oh, well! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. All right. Yes, yes. I would clap for me too. Hashtag. So on Wednesday, the Secret Service removed a child from the White House lawn after he slipped through a fence.

Crap, did I have another one? said one man. Wow, you didn't like that one, huh? Your loss. Chinese researchers are reporting a successful kidney transplant from a pig to a brain-dead human. Here's the human. Here's the pig. One-two punch.

I feel like we should go back to the Musk joke and do that one again. At the Doge hearing on funding PBS, Democrat Greg Sazar asked if Miss Piggy has ever been caught trying to funnel billions in government contracts to herself and her companies. Viewers were offended. He would use such a slur against Stacey Abrams. She has a name. Jasmine Crockett still claims she wasn't. mocking disabled Texas governor Greg Abbott by calling him Hot Wheels.

Yeah, and we didn't mean to mock mentally challenged dogs when we called her a stupid B. Five foot two, 450-pound man ran to his ATV into multiple Tesla vehicles. No one can still figure out why Alvin Bragg wasn't taking his usual car to work. With Major League Baseball kicking off this week, of the Oakland Athletics were surprised to see they're now just called the Athletics. See, in California, everyone is homeless.

UK radio stations have censored the word yellow from a 1997 song by the Spice Girls for fears it might sound racist. But they reassured fans that they can still call the black girl scary. According to a new study, non-monogamous relationships are now just as satisfying as monogamous ones. Here's the lead researcher from that study.

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Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upbrun payment of $45 for three-month plan. $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com. Despite the media's theatrical hysteria over Signalgate, America seems way more interested in stuff that's actually happening that's making their lives better.

Because by any metric, like, say, number of hootie rebels without heads, Donald Trump is killing it. And when I say killing it, I include the media. Because Trump is paying about as much attention to them as he is to that text I sent him at 4 a.m. last night. Guess I shaved my back for nothing. So while the Dems cream in their cul-lots, here was Trump's heavily prepared response. We pretty much looked into it. It's pretty simple, to be honest. It's just something that can happen.

It can happen. You can even prepare for it. It can happen. Sometimes people are hooked in, and you don't know they're hooked in. It's not a perfect technology. There is no perfect technology. See, that's the real story. But without the layers of theater that the media applies to it,

because if you think the actual story is huge, you must think Dana Perino shops at Lane Bryant. This is not a national security. It's a media story, because the legacy media can't lay a finger on this guy. They can't dirty him up like last time because Trump has rendered them irrelevant. They can't manifest a scandal anymore when more people are watching A-Team reruns than CNN. While the White House press corps were wetting themselves over signal, Trump's actually out there getting done that affects our lives, bringing factories back, arresting illegals, keeping Leah Thomas' dong out of women swimming.

Yes. Here's Trump at a Women's Day event, actually having the nerve to say out loud what so-called feminists kept to themselves. When day one, I made the official policy of the United States government that there are only two genders, male and female. No matter how many surgeries you have

or chemicals you inject, if you're born with male DNA in every cell of your body, you can never become a woman. You're not going to be a woman. Well, I guess that means I bought that lacy sports bra for nothing. Trump also signed an executive order to protect our elections from illegal voting and mysterious dumps of thousands of ballots after the deadline. So from now on, if a state takes a month to count their ballots, it'll be because they hired women.

A sexist would say. Terrible. Then Trump decided to hit reset on global trade, which means soon. I won't be able to throw hot coffee at my riders without hitting a Kia factory. Trump also declassified all documents relative to the bogus crossfire hurricane investigation. So the chickens are coming home to roost.

No wonder egg prices are coming down. So in mere weeks, Trump's done more than Biden did in his lifetime. Granted, it was considered a good day if Joe could locate the hole for the straw in his juice box. But Trump's never been so popular, and that's because he's a man of action, not a man of traction. Which is why the media is constantly playing catch-up. They literally can't keep up with him.

When he's working on ceasefires in Ukraine, they're still pining over deported criminals. So as a Democrat media complex sinks, they look to the signal story as a life preserver, and they're going to beat it to death like Jasmine Crockett does to basic grammar. But it's this same tunnel vision that has them less relevant than an exercise segment on the view.

You can manufacture all the outrage you want, but it's a big circle jerk, and they're the jerks. Their concerns no longer mirror Americas. That's because they were supposed to inform us, not try to control us. What the lefty media refuses to mention? That the operation was a total success. Hell, it was only by accident that this story fell into their laps anyway. And who hasn't added the wrong person to a group text? That's how I got that picture of Matt Lauer's penis.

But it showed what the Dems are incapable of, decisive action. Instead, they endlessly prattle over process. Hell, way back when, even Obama had the stones to hit bin Laden. And remember who told him not to do it? Yep, Biden. Obama gave him a glass of milk and told him to sit down, which is a terrible combination. Raymore and Flanagan had to replace the soiled chair.

But this week is a great reminder of how the media only goes to work when it's about Republicans. Remember the fake laptop story, crossfire hurricane, COVID's origins, or the fact that Joe wasn't running the country? Those were real scandals, but these hacks were as quiet as a drunk peeing on a furry toilet seat cover. The Dems launched a coup and censored Americans, and the media yonels. like they were watching Fox and friends. They're not up. So look for the media to do all it can to keep this on life support.

But really, it's their own irrelevant jobs they're trying to preserve. So don't toss them a lifeline. Let them sink. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members and listen to this show and free on the Amazon Music app.

This is Jason Chaffetz from the Jason in the House podcast. Join me every Monday to dive deeper into the latest political headlines and chat with remarkable guests. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcast.com or wherever you download podcasts.