Gutfeld! Monologues - The Dems Can’t Believe It

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! ‘The View’ audience booed loudly when John Fetterman was announced as a guest. And liberals are in disbelief that Senate Democrats successfully ended the government shutdown.  Greg has the details! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you. Thank you. Happy Veterans Day. And out of respect, tonight I'm going commando. All right. So the audience at the view started booing when Whoopi told them that John Federman was an upcoming guest. But they settled down and returned to their mooing. The International Olympic Committee announced it it will ban biological males

from competing in women's Olympic sports. Better luck next time, Randy Weingarten. Doctors in both the UK and U.S. have performed the first ever remote-controlled surgery on a cadaver. And the patient is resting comfortably. Never gets old. Unlike him, never gets old. This week it's expected to drop to a record low 49 degrees in Miami,

and young men are being advised not to stick their tongues on stripper poles. As you know, today is Veterans Day, where we salute our men in uniform, but also out of uniform. Any excuse to run a shirtless Pete Hedger's. This photo. Yeah. I couldn't. Yeah.

Snow fell across parts of New York City this morning. It was so cold. In fact, Bill actually got into bed with Hillary. I know. Nancy Pelosi's daughter, Christine Pelosi, said she won't run for her mother's house seat. She said it's hard to follow in her mother's footsteps because Nancy can turn into a bat.

Because she's a vampire. Former porn star Jenna Jameson said she now wants to help people find God. Well, she certainly made enough men call out his name. New York City Public Schools are facing their biggest drop in enrollment in four years. And if you do the math, you didn't go to a New York City public school. The state of Illinois is considering legalize assisted suicide. Well, it sure beats slowly eating yourself to death. It does.

It does. And finally, just Lane Maxwell said she feels much safer after being moved to a federal prison in Texas. Although she's a little suspicious of the brand new guard. She's more attractive as a guy. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Boarding for Flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time.

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celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close to you, call 186653310 or visit comexonterio.ca. All right. So we've heard the Dems scream about the Trump shutdown. But now that the Senate Dems have ended it, our precious political class can't effing believe it. I can't fucking believe it. They f***ing caved on the shutdown. Democrats, you sold out the entire shutdown not to get what you. wanted. The shutdown may have been long and painful for millions of Americans, but at least it achieved jack squat. And we are on day 41 of the Trump government shutdown. Democrats drew a line in the sand. They said, we are not going over this. And today, after 41 days, they pulled out

a shovel and a bucket and they ate all that sand and got nothing for it. I don't understand how a Democratic senator goes, wow, we won really big. Let me cave now. And now they just caved and surrendered. I think Chuck Schumer, his days are over. Oh, so the people who claim the shutdown was so evil are sad that it's going away. That's like no longer being chased by a serial killer, but you're pissed because you aren't getting your cardio. But now they're not even trying to hide the fact that they created the shutdown from the start. And they're enraged that their leaders caved like Don Lemon's futon on Fat Guy Friday. Yeah.

So how was it Trump's shutdown to begin with? A shutdown causing so many awful things. He was starving children and causing planes to crash. And TV ladies had to forego their nail appointments. I went and got my eyebrows done the other day. And my eyebrow technician was like, they're going to fire two technicians from here because all of our clients don't have money to come.

That's nothing. That is nothing. I know of one lady who had to lay off four beard technicians. missions. Yeah. She needed more than a squad. And now that the shutdown ends, the same dopes that pinned it on Trump are now blaming the Dems for ending it. They claim compassion for those suffering but were secretly behind it if it meant the Dems got something out of it. At least they're finally admitting it was the Dems shut down. They owned this fiasco like Sonny Hosson's ancestors owned slaves.

And now Dems are calling on Chuck to step down. But if the shutdown were truly causing Americans harm, why would they call for his job? He was doing something good, am I right? That would be like James Carville firing his assistant for feeding him more mice. So I guess this means all those starving people really weren't starving at all.

Kind of a bummer. I would have liked to see the media scramble to find this so-called starving brat. They'll probably settle with a chubby kid who identifies as starving. Or what they call trans fat. Play on words. So this was merely a political stunt. But for what exactly? Well, before the shutdown, they were losing on every issue.

They lost on the border crime, and their trans bubble popped like a zit. on Leah Thomas's ball sack. So they lashed on the health care. Shut down the government, keep it going through election day. And now that these hacks want some contests, they want to keep their mojo by keeping the government paralyzed like Nancy's forehead. But it's no surprise. They prefer political gain over helping the so-called millions at risk.

But we see through them like Bryant Stelter's nipples in a wet t-shirt contest. They always create the problem, like illegal immigration, then when Trump solves it, they freak out. They're like that raccoon that keeps tipping over your trash, and when you go out to scare them away, he gets up on his hind legs and his hisses at you. At least I think that was a raccoon. It might have been Larry Cudlow on furry night. Meanwhile, as the Dems plot politically, Trump's promising to send a $2,000 tariff dividend to non-wealthy Americans, which he's doing without raising billions in taxes or printing billions of dollars, unlike the COVID checks, which did spike inflation.

And so as the Dem rely on procedural confusion to shovel cash to insurance companies, Trump sends money directly to you. Trump's writing checks for real money while Dems keep writing checks that their asses can't cash, while staying oblivious to the writing on the wall. Trump didn't budge. How was it so surprising? It's what he does on everything. It's funny how the Dems have Trump on their brains all the time,

yet are continually shocked when he does what he does. But we see it coming because for us, clarity works. It was, here's the budget, sign on the dotted line, pretty simple. Apparently too simple for a party that still struggles to define what a woman is. Yet they ironically were the ones left standing with the dicks in their hands. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show. and free on the Amazon music app.

It's Will Tane Country. Watch it live at noon eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.