Gutfeld! Monologues - The Federal Government Spends A Little Bit Too Much On Furniture 

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg lists comical reasons why the Federal government could have spent $4.6 billion on furniture.  Plus, he questions whether or not Jesse Watters' hair is real. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. All right. Okay, okay. That's the most applause I've heard since Chris Wallace left. Happy Wednesday, everyone. So according to a report, the federal government has forked. over $4.6 billion for new furniture since October of 2020. Amazing. Mostly because one man keeps breaking his chair. But it is nuts. It is nuts. Uber released its

annual list of the most unique items left in the back seat. And in first place was a fake head with human hair. I think we have a picture of this. No, I think that's a real head with fake hair. So AOC is being called out for flying first class to speak at a Bernie Sanders fight oligarchy rally. I know. We haven't seen this kind of hypocrisy since R. Kelly told me not to pee on the toilet seat. Because he peed on people. Financial experts predict that Trump's tariffs may increase the cost.

cost of Botox. So are its regular users concerned? More important, how could you tell? Pop star Ed Sheeran joined tonight show host Jimmy Fallon for a music performance in a New York City subway. It's the first time commuters threw themselves in front of oncoming trains. KFC is now offering a fried chicken-flavored toothpaste. Yeah, it goes great with my gravy-scented deodorant, said one man. Chris Christie is so happy you found him. Scientists have created a gum that traps the herpes virus. But doctors say the hard part will be getting the gum out of the pubic hair.

That is either the worst joke I've ever said or the greatest joke. According to a new study, having a pet boosts well-being as much as having a spouse. It's true, and you can bury both in the backyard. Supporters of Dolly Parton have signed a petition to rename the Nashville airport, Departon from Parton. Yeah, every flight will be out of Gate Triple D. Finally, a California woman is using the world's longest tongue to play Jenga. Guess you just became a big fan of Jenga.

One time. One time. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless. If you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should. One, it's $15 a month. Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts. Four, I use it.

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Then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com. Running a business comes with a lot of what-ifs. But luckily, there's a simple answer to them. Shopify. It's the commerce platform behind millions of businesses, including Thrive Cosmetics and Momofuku,

and it'll help you with everything you need. From website design and marketing to boosting sales and expanding operations, Shopify can get the job done and make your dream a reality. Turn those what-ifs into... Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash special offer. So what's the primary mechanism of political survival for most politicians, kicking the can down the road?

They know never to deal with a problem when it arises because action always involves risk. So instead they offer platitudes instead of solutions, hoping the status quo gets them reelected and until it's time, of course, to cash in and become a lobbyist. But today we have a leader who's kicking nothing down the road. Instead, Donald Trump sees the can, picks it up, and crushes it with his bare hands. Think about it. Doge, trade, deporting gangs, men and women's sports, getting Rosie O'Donnell on a plane to Ireland.

I know. He's tackled all those issues head on in just 90 days. Previously, a typical Democrat or Republican would have looked at the deficit, trade, and immigration. as unsolvable problems simply because solving them would cause a problem for them. But Trump, he never saw a problem he didn't want to fix. And now you can add drug cartels

to his list of cans he wants to crush. First, he labeled them foreign terrorist organizations and now according to NBC News, the administration is considering taking out those cartels with drone strikes. Yeah. Drones. Drones on cartels.

It's a monster. solution to a modern problem, like using a robot to feed live mice to the view. Then your hands are safe. But bombing cartels? I wonder where they might have gotten that idea. It's time to take out cartels in Mexico. Bomb the out of them. It'll be over in minute. And if the operation starts up somewhere else, you bomb that due. Mowing down cartels would be no different. than mowing the lawn. Yeah. And I know how to mow a lawn

now that Jose's been deported. RIP, Jose. Taking care of your kids. But that was three years ago when the only droning was the sound of Biden's life alert. The difference this time is we got a president

who's actually doing something about it. As one senior DEA official under Biden puts it, politics aside, Trump is not around with this stuff. True, while the Dems think misgendering is violence, Trump thinks violence is violence and knows how to deal with it, with military action. After all, these are brutally violent drug dealers

with machine guns who don't think twice about beheading anyone who looks at them the wrong way. Fact is, they've killed more Americans than Steve Ducey's cookbook. Droning them makes all the sense in the world. It might seem extreme to some, but that's only because it's viewed in the context of their own cowardice and neglect.

These are the same people who waved through the violent illegal criminals and pointed them on night flights, gave them hotel rooms paid for by you and me. Hell, they didn't just kick the can down the road. They gave that can three meals, free flights, and a hotel room with Wi-Fi. Now, Trump's been floating the idea of drone strikes on cartel leaders for a while, not because he's bloodthirsty or because he's bored, but because, shocking as this sounds, it might work, which is always Trump's metric. And it beats depending on Mexico. Hell, you'd be safer chugging Tijuana Springwater. I mean, there are law enforcement's made up with the cartels themselves. Now, you can debate its legality, but look, we send eight-figure checks to Zelinsky,

never get a receipt, and we're killing people who've done nothing to us thousands of miles away. Apparently, that's legal, but killing terrorists at our border isn't? Of course, Mexico's president says bombing cartels want to address the root of the issue. Really? Doesn't wiping out the dudes who sling these drugs address the law? the root issue? If you can't contain El Chapo, then your opinions are El Crapo. Look, we love Mexico. Their food's amazing, and it's still the best place to flee when you've accidentally killed a spouse. But their government, about as reliable as birth control from

the dollar store. Their cops are bought off. Their mayors are in hiding. Their military has all the firepower of a six-pack of O'Dules. So, yeah, Trump is saying what no one else will. If you won't clean up your yard, we'll do it for you because it's growing into hours. And if that means a drone here or there, it's better than letting fentanyl kill tens of thousands of Americans a year. Drones are quick.

They're precise, and they're covered by Radio Shack's 90-day warranty. Let's welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. This is Jimmy Phala, inviting you to join me for Fox Across America, where we'll discuss every single one of the Democrats' dumb ideas. Just kidding, it's only a three-hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast at Fox Across America.com.