Gutfeld! Monologues - The Man Who Blew Up Watergate Dishes On Joe's Mental State

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Financial Analyst, Heather Zumaragga, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, Host of The Wise Men Podcast Tyrus, and Comedian Tyler Fischer discuss how 'legendary' journalist Carl Bernstein claims to have had 15 sources over the past year tell him President Biden is no longer suited for the job. But why did he only release this information now?   Plus, Gutfeld sounds off on President Biden's mental acuity in a humorous way that only he could. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yeah. Yeah. That felt really good. Happy Tuesday, everyone. So in Monday's TV address, President Biden appeared to have a spray tan. Aides say he tried using a tanning bed, but when they closed the lid, Dr. Jill kept throwing dirt and flowers on top.

When media brought up Biden's freshly darkened complexion, Democrat leaders replied that it's all part of their plan to gradually replace him with a person of color. U.S. military bases in Europe are on high alert because of intelligence about a possible terror attack. When reached for comment, Joe Biden said, someone should tell the president. The Biden campaign sent out an email accusing his critics of being a bunch of bedwetters. Well, isn't that the bedpan calling the kettle wet? Talk about projection. What's next? Calling Biden critics walking corpses who sacked their pants in front of the Pope and won't acknowledge their grandchildren? Aw, a little, did I hurt somebody's feelings?

You know where the exit is. Democratic strategist James Carville doubled down on his warning that the Democratic Party's messaging is too feminine, though many observers would disagree. And Watergate legend Carl Bernstein says there's been a cover-up of Joe Biden's mental decline. And like 50 years ago, he relied on an insider codenamed Deep Throat. Oh, you dirty pigs. So, we live in an incredible moment. It's not often we get to see a massive hoax exposed before us and the world. That sort of thing, when those in power are shown as evil liars, that only happens in movies.

And, well, just every Scooby-Doo episode ever made. I'm sure you'll recognize him. Uncle Stewart. Well, well. Hank. Just as we thought, really Ebenezer Sharpe. What means to get done with the hostage deal we got resolved, sir? There is some movement, and I don't want to, I don't want to,

or maybe choose my words. There's some movement. There's been a response from the, uh, there's better response from the opposition, but, yes, I'm sorry. It's a perfect metaphor for this Biden mess, where we're told the villain is one thing, but it always turns out to be something else. Consider yesterday's Supreme Court decision on presidential immunity. In the dissent, Sotomayor hilariously frets about how far Trump was.

would take it. She writes, quote, he will now be insulated from criminal prosecution. Orders the Navy SEAL Team 6 to assassinate a political rival. Immune. Organizes a military coup to hold on to power. Immune. Takes a bribe in exchange for a pardon. Immune, immune, immune, immune. But that's all BS, and it's scary coming from a Supreme Court justice. Some wise Latina. She makes AOC seem like FDR. everything she suggests the president would face impeachment for and then a trial. But surprise, the media played along. Presumably, if he were to use SEAL Team 6 to try to assassinate one of his political opponents,

so long as he did it through the auspices of the presidency, let's say use the NSA to say, let me investigate the Bidens as a national security threat. And then we need to go ahead and assassinate them when they take a foreign trip. We'll just go ahead and use drones to assassinate them, let's say, in a foreign country. And we'll use SEAL Team 6 to go in and get them like they got bin Laden. As long as you use it, do it through the official apparatus of the presidency, he can do it. Given that the hypotheticals over the course of these arguments, as you rightly pointed out, included things like, can the president assassinate a rival?

I think we have to look at the Supreme Court's affirmative answer to that. Yes, you can. with as much seriousness as it deserves. I mean, this is a death squad ruling. I like that guy. Chris Hayes. Chris Hayes. Luckily, she only works Mondays and has six days to calm down.

But the Libs once again rely on extreme fantasy. The president can use SEAL Team 6 to take out critics. Well, if he uses it on the view, they'd be called Meal Team 6. How would Trump take out Biden make him climb stairs? Would he slip poison into Pelosi's Botox? Switch out Jerry Nadler's Depends with a suicide diaper? In a perfect act of karma, he could tie Mitt Romney to the roof of the presidential limo. Or maybe Trump could prosecute his political enemies on charges nobody can even explain.

That'd be new, right? But this decision is easily explained. On one hand, if the president has no immunity for him, official actions, we ended up with a leader weighing options on whether he'll have to defend them in court someday. He'll be more gun-shy than Alec Baldwin's assistant. But do we want a president who's immune from all prosecution? That's all this was, a guide on the limits of presidential power. But how do you expect a man with one foot in his mouth and the other in the grave to understand that? Today's decision almost certainly means that there are virtually no limits

what the president can do. This is a fundamentally new principle, and it's a dangerous precedent because the power of the office will no longer be constrained by the law, even including the Supreme Court of the United States. Shut up. Nobody is listening. You know, we're just waiting to see

if you don't kill over. Now, this ruling actually meant Trump could do whatever he wants when that applied to the sitting president. And I say sitting, because standing is a lot to ask of, Joe these days. Chewing is asking a lot of him these days. It's not like Biden or whoever's running the show wouldn't use these newfound powers. This is the White House that brought four Trump

criminal cases along with an unelected defense attorney who chases Trump the way Anna Navarro trails the hot dog vendors of 6th Avenue. If Biden handlers thought they could drone the RNC, Biden's teleprompter would read Ready, Aim, Fire. And Biden would say Ready, aim, fire, end of quote. But why is every Supreme Court decision or every word spoken by Trump

causing a meltdown usually seen in Jesse's dressing room when he runs out of Aquanette? Well, this is what happens when you see everything through the prism of one man, when one human being becomes the embodiment

of all the shortcomings and fears in your life. I swear, I haven't seen one guy caused this much hysteria since I did my last book tour, shirtless. So is this the end of the world? Well, if you're one of the media or enablers who's been hiding the nation's most eminent dementia patient, the answer is, yes, it is. You've been exposed, like me when I forget to wear pants under my chaps. So once again, the left tries to divert us from that other story, the one about us not having a president. Look over here. Ignore that vegetable. But there's a contradiction.

First, if Trump's so evil, why do you have to make up these crimes? And if defeating Trump is so vital to saving the world, then why are you clowns running a glazed donut against him? But you see, if they don't make the story all about the Trump apocalypse, we're back to an unfit Biden. So they pivot back to the same preposterous place, Trump's derangement fueled by hysterics. Which reveals two problems. For the Dems, this hysteria is a drug to escape reality. Life sucks right now, but if I just take more of this fantasy pill, it temporarily goes away. But instead, it gets worse because this apocalyptic filter yields no accurate predictions. And over time, people learn that your rantings are just hoaxes. It's how you end up with one of the biggest political scams in history exposed. So what you're witnessing is the end of an era. an era where hoaxes were the foundation for power. Maybe now we can get back to normal, where governance is based on ability

and not something imaginary like Joe's pulse. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by eBay. We all have that piece. The one that's so you, you've basically become known for it. And if you don't yet, fashionistas, you'll find it on eBay. That Miumu Red Leather Bomber, the Cousteau Barcelona Cowboy Top,

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Itineraries vary by sale date, ships registry Bahamas. Let's welcome tonight's guess. He's handled more roles than a masseuse for the view. comedian Tyler Fisher. She puts her money where her mouth is, but it really should be in a bank. Financial analyst, Heather Schuberrachar. When she wears stripes, she looks like a barcode.

New York Times, best-selling author, and Fox News getributor catamins. He turns all you can eat buffets into all we have left buffets. New York Times bestselling author, comedian. Former interviewer champion, Tyrus. The man who blew up Watergate dishes on Joe's mental state. Our video of the day comes to us from Carl Bernstein. Yes, that Carl Bernstein, who's revealing President Biden's serious cognitive decline.

Roll it, Marge. Well, these are people, several of them who are very close to President Biden, who love him, have supported him, have been among them, or some people who have raised a lot of money for him. and they are adamant that what we saw the other night, the Joe Biden we saw, is not a one-off. That there have been 15, 20 occasions in the last year and a half when the president has appeared somewhat as he did in that horror show. These people who have supported him, loved him, campaigned for him, see him often say that in the last six months particularly, There has been a marked incidence of cognitive decline. Did you catch that? Bernstein just casually dropping a major scandal.

And it's funny coming from the same guy who said this. This is far worse than Watergate. What we are watching in the Trump presidency is worse than Watergate. This is something far worse than occurred in Watergate. I've said before that what we're seeing is worse than Watergate. Man, this guy name drops Watergate more than I named drop Kudlow when I'm trying to get free checking. So how can a guy who helped break the biggest political scandal and never lets a moment pass without mentioning that somehow miss this? Why did he sit on this story until after the debate?

That's like announcing an expose of Japan's military plans on December 8th, 1941. Bernstein's known about this forever and waits until now to tell us. Well, he kept quiet for the same reason he's speaking up now. He wants the Democrats to win. That's more important than the safety and security of a country. So in this case, if he actually said this is worse than Watergate, he'd be right. And he'd also be guilty. Here we are.

Heather, this guy made his name off being an investigative journalist. There's this huge story going on that he's aware of. and he chose just to ignore it. Shouldn't that infuriate America? Well, surprise, the media has been lying to us. I mean, CNN, they just, either they're lying or they just revealed to us that, hey, we can't hide it anymore. Oh, my goodness.

I mean, we're talking about the commander-in-chief, the person who keeps us safe. It would be nice to just have anyone who can at least remember what day it is. I know it's not fun or we shouldn't make light of he's getting old, and everybody ages. Well, I mean... Remember, they put this on themselves.

Right, but it's a serious issue. Well, at the same time, if you ask Joe, I don't think he wants to be president. I think it's Jill, who is a cruel enabler. It's elder abuse. That's what it is, and she's forcing him to run. It's Larry Elder abuse. Larry Elder.

No one said that before, Kat. You know what? Heather's got a point here that it's only a story, now because they can't hide it anymore. So now, it's amazing how this the whole truck just turned around in a very narrow time because we all saw it. You couldn't gas light us anymore. Yeah.

And look, I'm not a neurologist, but I do speak English. And like, that's what the word decline means, right? Like, the thing about age-related mental decline isn't that like, oh, it was bad today, but it's going to get better. That's not how it works. In fact, what we saw at the debate, as time goes on, if this is mental decline, the word decline, what that means is, as time goes on, we'll be begging for the Joe we saw at the debate. Exactly. Right?

That is so true. We'll be like, if only we could have that vigorous man back. Remember when he said we beat Medicare? Yes. Good times. Remember when, yes, that sentence had a subject and a predicate. Yes. We don't get that from Joe anymore.

Those were the, we'll be saying those were the day. Yes. And remember how cogent he was when he says that woman could get impregnated by her sister? Or her spouse. He took the biggest softball abortion question ever to say, well, lots of people are getting raped by their sisters. That will be oratory genius compared to what we're seeing as time goes on because that's what time does. Yes, exactly. Tyrus, couldn't you argue that this scandal is worse than Watergate?

No, Carl Bernstein is worse than Watergate. And I'll tell you what, you don't, see, he had Trump money hysteria. He got, how many books did he write during the Trump administration? How many every night he came out bigger than Watergate? Everyone was paying attention. And he was there, and he was CNN's front and center guy. And then he kind of withered off and withered off. And then he's the first one crossing the line.

Well, Carl, in the spirit of the other Carl's, Carl Winslow, and Carl Weathers, just like they're dead, so is your journalistic career. You have no integrity. You lied to the American people, and now you're going to say you saw some decline? Listen, this isn't worse than Watergate. We're going to put that to bed. We're going to put a little spin on it. This is worse than Millie Vanilly. Oh.

Okay? Because all they talk about is, oh, the president's record. It ain't his record. He ain't singing on that record. Those aren't his procedures. You stop him in the middle of the day and say, Joe, he'll be like, I ain't seen him. You know, so it's, and this is my conspiracy. I'll tie in a little butter for you.

You know what Millie Vanilli means in Italian? What? Pale ice cream. I rest my case. He's lip-sinking the presidency. They put stuff on the stuff. He reads the stuff off the board, they tell him, and then they never let him sing live.

You never let Millie Vanilli sing live. You always make him do it pre-recorded until that one time, and they have their one time, the debate. It was the same. The only thing we didn't have was Jill running off to fix the tape, and everyone running across, but they can blame it on the rain. Girl, they know it's true.

It's all there. The Millie Vanilly Presidency. You heard it here first. All right, Tyler, last word to you. I had five minutes on Millie Vanilly. I can't do it now. This is unbelievable. Yeah, I mean, look, as far as Jill goes, I'm going to be honest.

At least she's standing up for her man, you know? Yeah. It's hard to find a woman in this city, you know, with all the feminism. I go, I want somebody to, you know, prop me up when I'm dying. To change you when you wet yourself? Yeah, the Watergate is him pissing himself during every speech that he does. But I think the least they could have done has had Mitch McConnell next to him during the debate. frozen and then you would have been like he looks like an Olympic athlete yeah they always say

they always say stand next to somebody who's like worse off than you are or shorter which is why I'm here I can't do that yeah you know that was unnecessary he won't be back no all right thanks to Tyler Fisher heather's a braga cat-tick tyrus i'm studio audience Fox is that night with dreamtis guys guys that's up I'm all of you America Podcasts plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon Music app. It's Will Tane Country.

Watch it live at noon Eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.