Gutfeld! Monologues - The Media's Glee Over Kamala's VP

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, The Host of the Tyrus & The Wise Men podcast, Tyrus, GOP Strategist, Erin Perrine, Outkick Host, Charly Arnolt, and Comedian Joe Devito discuss why the media is only covering Minnesota Governor Tim Walz's personality and not his policy. Plus, Greg delivers a monologue discussing some of the inconsistencies in the stories told about Governor Walz's war record.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I know. I can see why you would feel that way. I own a mirror. Happy Wednesday, everybody. So yesterday, Kamala Harris and Tim Walts made their first appearance together at a packed rally in Philadelphia. Waltz received thunderous applause and a standing ovation, and that was just from Antifa.

Now, we're not saying this guy is a far-left nut job, but when news broke, stock and men's tampons doubled. Insiders claim Waltz won the VP slot by assuring Harris he would not steal her job. You know, like the last vice president. Meanwhile, far-left squad member, Corey Bush, lost her primary last night. Oh. Thank you. Oh.

Yeah. And afterwards, she went on a wild and crazy rant. I haven't seen a Bush that out of control since I dated Yoko Ono. Sorry, Sean. The media is busy trying to portray Waltz as a moment. as a moderate, even though he dithered while the Twin Cities burned. And even worse, his wife said she wanted to smell the burning tires during the riots. In fact, she even made a scented candle just to commemorate it.

All right. At the Olympics, LeBron James mistakenly thought a crowd was cheering for him when they're actually cheering for a male swimmer. I know the feeling. I once thought a crowd was cheering for me when, in fact, they were cheering for the donkey. It's just going to be a dark gut-filled. On this day in 1959, the first satellite picture of Earth was taken from space. Interesting side note, what most assumed to be the continent of Australia turned out to be a young Joy Behar. All right, let's do a monologue. So within hours after Kamala Harris made Tim Walts a VP pick, the bat signal went out from the Dems to label him as a moderate, middle of the road, Midwesterner.

The reason to cover up the fact that this guy is bat-a-crazy. Let's run through the list. When BLM and Antifa were looting and burning down Minneapolis in the summer of 2020, what did Waltz do? Well, he did call out the National Guard eventually when seconds count, Tim Walsh acts within days. Three days, in fact. So how the hell did he alert him? Did he send an Evite to their AOL account? Was he waiting for an RSVP? Let's ask the dofus. Decisions were made in a situation that is what it is, and I simply believe that we try to do the best we can in each of those. That made no sense.

He makes her sound like Winston Churchill. And, you know, it's the reason why I hang around Killmead. So he actually called the riots an exciting event, which destigmatized criminal activity and put the rights of criminals over their prey. He abandoned every victim, be they black, white, Asian or old, because they could not be stereotyped into a group with magical protections. So they had no power. And so he tossed aside lawful citizens.

to gain favor of the lawless mob. He was a coward, but also a snitch. At the height of the pandemic, he set up a COVID hotline where people could think on their neighbors for not wearing masks outdoors. Outdoors. Waltz also limited indoor gatherings to 10 people. He declared a statewide mask mandate

and shut down restaurants, gyms, and other businesses. So, when there's looting and rioting, he's hands off. But if there's a virus, If there's a virus that's benign to just about everyone except old people, he invades your life, turns it upside down, turns people against each other, and takes away their livelihoods, which is exactly the opposite of how he portrays himself now.

In Minnesota, we respect our neighbors and their personal choices that they make. Even if we wouldn't make the same choice for ourselves, there's a golden rule. Mind your own damn business. You know, people would love to mind their own damn business if you, asshole, hadn't let rioters burn down those businesses. All right. No more swearing. Even worse, Walt sent elderly COVID patients from hospitals back into nursing homes where he likely killed more old people than tainted pudding at a Matlock convention. So while the rest of us had to stay away from our grandparents, or we were called murderers, Waltz gave those grandparents a death sentence.

He gets worse. He doubled down last year on letting docks give drugs, too, and operate on kids confused about their gender, signing a bill making Minnesota a sanctuary state for kids brainwashed into thinking they need a sex change. So if you live in a sane state that's banned this butchery, your child can go to Minnesota to ruin his life And legally, you can't do shit about it. Remember the song, I Left My Heart in San Francisco? Well, there's a new version, and it's I left my kids' d'Ick in St. Paul. Yeah, we're going real dark tonight, real dark.

Yeah. Only nut jobs want kids to get nut jobs. The state can even take custody of your child, and they call this guy, middle of the road? What road are you talking about? The one between Sodom and Gomorrah? Waltz will let doctors cut your kids balls off while looters burn down your house. He's like a fat, bald, stupid gangist con. Well, at least he doesn't think boys menstruate. Oh, wait. He signed a bill to put tampons in boys' bathrooms. That makes less sense than starting a

fan club for Jesse Waters. Then there's his military service. Two fellow national guardsmen have accused him of embellishing his military career and retiring from service after learning his battalion would be deployed to Iraq in 2005. I guess he prefers his war zones to be in Minnesota. So the Republicans are calling this ticket

the most left wing ever. How do you know that's true? Well, look at how obsessed the left is in portraying him as the opposite. Oh, he's not radical. He's rural. He's not Marxist. He's Midwestern, which then poses the next question.

Why are the positions that the left usually embraces they now abandon as they approach an election? Suddenly being woke is as appealing as monkey pox. Social justice, sanctuary cities, left-wing protests, they all take a back seat to the comfortable sweater of moderation. Eldridge Cleaver becomes Ward Cleaver. And that's the funniest thing of all. The people who spent the last four years hating everything about old white guys now embrace the very things they despise. Oh, look, he hunts. Aw, he owns a gun.

He's a military vet. Well, just months ago, these were the things that would put him on a no-fly list. He's got to be a member of a white supremacist group, right? Reeking of toxic masculinity and dead moose. But now we just call him coach. And if the left has its way, the next vice president of the United States, States. All right, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Flying first class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying

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and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states. Let's welcome tonight's guest. His stand-up makes me throw-up. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito.

She knows UFC like I know KFC. Host of Outkick the Morning, Charlie Arnold. She's charming and sweet, and her takes can't be beat. Republican strategist Aaron Perini. And Fenway Park. Fenway Park uses his hanky as a tarp. New York Times best-selling author, comedian, and former Adam D.W.A. World's championship.

His past may be thorny, but he makes the media horny. I speak of newly minted VP nominee Tim Walts and the fawning talking heads in our video of the day. The media can't get enough of the suddenly lovable old fuzzy white male. Rule it. Tim Walts is the opposite of weird. Maybe a little more of a cuddly choice. Cuddly. Cuddly. This is going to be a mac and cheese and a trip to the hardware store, grounded,

vice presidential candidate that's going to make people smile. He seems to almost have a twinkle in his eye. He ice fishes. He's a hunter. He does butter carving. Butter carving! What a bunch of psychos? Did you hear all that? They look at Waltz and I think, oh, he's cuddly. He's got a twinkle in his eye. Come on, the only thing they know and care about this idiot is that he's a Democrat. If Harris had picked Charles Manson, they'd call him a family man.

If Harrison picked the Unabomber, they'd say, oh, he could really light up the room. If she had picked Ted Bundy, they'd say, hey, he'd really out of way with women. So it's not that Waltz is bad. It's that these jackasses are worse. All right. Charlie, are you impressed by somebody who can carve butter? Under normal circumstances, yes. Tim Waltz, no.

I just cannot. We know the media is what's driving everything that's going on right now. No one was even talking about Kamala Harris up until a couple of weeks ago. No one can even name a single accomplishment she's had as vice president, but the media is spinning it. Oh my gosh, now she's this feminist icon. This is the leader we didn't know that we needed. Now they're doing the exact same thing with her VP pick, Tim Waltz. And I also just cannot stand the fact that they speak so horribly about J.D. Vance.

He doesn't have a great background, yet here we have Waltz with the greatest rural American success story. But when you look at J.D. Vance, I mean, let's take a look at his history. He grew up from nothing. He deployed right after 9-11. He went to Yale Law School, went on to write a best-selling book, went to Silicon Valley, made a fortune, became a senator. Now his VP, potentially, hopefully, of this country, yet they have nothing but bad things to say about him. It's just the biggest gaslighting mission I've ever seen anyone on, but you'd expect nothing less from the Democrats of this country. So there you go. You know, Aaron, if you watched MSNBC at all, usually anytime they brought up rural Americans,

it was a denigrating segment about old, like, white rednecks. and like they were like, and now it's like, you're listening to them, it's like, oh, my God, you know, he ice fishes. Carves butter. He's non-threatening, even though he does look like that suspect and dateline whose spouse goes missing. And he mysteriously remarries quickly after. Has like 15 life insurance policies all of it in. Yes, he has already ordered a mail-ordered bride from Venezuela. Yes. That would be a perfect place, actually. Yes. Yes. You have a mail order bride.

Kids quick, yeah. It's that DC media mentality where when they leave the Asala corridor and they go into the rest of the country and they're like, wait, so you're telling me voters don't care about the things that we tell them that they should care about? They care about real things. It's this like alien idea that if you don't live in a major city, you are, you are so foreign to them. And all of a sudden, now that they've seen someone that is a Democrat and that they can idolize, they are like, oh, man, look at this guy. He probably loves a good hot dish. How about we talk about his abject failures?

How about we stop fawning over the man and start looking at his record? When he was governor of Minnesota, there was massive fraud in the state regarding COVID funding for feeding kids. The man has been a complete and abject failure. But hey, let's go ahead and laud him. Also, this is exactly what is always like to be a Republican in politics. Like everybody's starting to see it now, but this is 100% what it is always like. You will always be in a harder position than the Democrat.

If you have a D next to your name, the media will always give you the love, the adoration, and a pass. It's true because they're team. Tires, you know, I've often described you as cuddly. You know what's going to happen to Jesse, right? Yes. I think we cleared that up. Now we're going to move on. All right, cool.

You have to understand, again, I feel like they're trying to convince us to date a really unattractive person. Right. When you talk about the description, have you ever been in a situation where your mother tells you this? Her friend has a really nice girl. Right. And here's the things that's cool about her. She likes to sew. She's an alternate on a pickleball team.

She has a great personality. She sings backup, backup choir with the lights out at the local church. And the six teeth that she has are phenomenal. And she carves butter. And last year she went ice fishing. Now listen, as a retired athlete, that's not something you put on the sportsman resume yeah I sat in the box I froze my ass off with a little tiny fishing pole that looks like a green duck that we call

the green hornet and I wait and I wait yeah and I wait and I wait yeah and then I get up and lie and say I had a bite and come back and do the shit the next day yeah so again there's no if they had something cool about them we'd know it yeah so It's all the same. Forget everything else. The bottom line is, the man's a coward. And when you follow a coward, there's one rule. Soldier dies but once, coward dies a thousand deaths.

So it will be a thousand deaths by paper cuts for the American taxpayer if this dude's in. Just think about that. When trouble was on the wall, he was out the back door. So there you go. You know, he's kind of, he's a little creepy. And I think what's creepier is listening. to the media repeat the words they were given. Like, they got it was like the talking point last week

was Vance is weird, and now this is cuddly and foxy. Yeah, but I knew he looked familiar, and I think if we could call up where I'd seen his face before. Up. Oh, damn. I do see it. Now, here's the weird thing about him. He's only 60 years old. He's slightly older than Kamala. I think she got confused. I think she tried to pick a VP and do a reverse Biden

and thought, if we get someone who's 80 years old, he'll never push me out of the way. Like I shoved the 80-year-old out of the way. But it is interesting here the way they talk about people in the rest of the country as if they've never heard. He goes fishing? Yes. He goes outside?

Yes. And this, I've never heard of this butter sculpture. Oh, you've got to go to Iowa. Iowa State Fair, giant butter cow. Still, I mean, just here, it makes me feel much better about my margarine scrapbook. that I've been doing it in my own. The thing is, we've seen him under pressure,

and he didn't do well. And he was someone who, with the COVID scams that they had, he was the kind of governor that if you went in during COVID to a restaurant to eat there, you had to wear a mask. But if you wanted to rob it, you could take the mask off. Exactly. No, there were these events in life,

whether it's the military or rioting or an illness, a virus, each one, he screwed the pooch. And I mean that figuratively. Not literally. I'm not accusing him of a bestiality, though. If you did hit tell on you because he's a snitch. Yes. And if you are going to screw the pooch, remember, consent matters. I thought there was a tampon joke coming after that, but I guess not.

No, no, no. There's way too much in there right now. We need to relax. Why a man named Shapiro ain't the Democrats hero? Joe DeVito, Charlie Aron, and Eric Brini, time. So, studio out, it's on Tuesdays today with Dreamtons, Sallel, I love you, America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show,

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