Gutfeld! Monologues - The Myth Of The Modern Protest

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg roasts some guy who showed up at Santa Clara City Hall dressed as Batman. Plus, Don Lemon was arrested for participating in a protest at a church. Greg calls out the media for demanding we suspend all logic and reason in favor of left-wing protesters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Fairly appropriate response. It's Friday, so you know what that means. Let's welcome tonight's guests. Unlike most of our comedians, he has a history of making people laugh. Comedian, host of the Adam Carolla show, Adam Carolla. He likes having a lawn just so he can tell kids to get off it. Fox News contributor Tom Shaloo. He once made a porno under the name Al Dente.

Chef and restaurant owner Andrew Gruel. She thinks contact lenses are for losers. Rosa Kennedy saves the World Podcast, Kennedy. Before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's Leftovers. It's leftovers where I read the jokes we did use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll put Joe Mackey in a leather teddy

and ship him to Don Lemon's prison cell. What, yeah? Don Lemon, finally. arrested for for storming that church in Minnesota with anti-ice protesters. The arrest took longer than expected because Don

insisted on a cavity search. Kept saying you missed a spot. The arrest went smoothly after that because Don was kind enough to supply his own handcuffs. Lemons' arrest just goes to show you

that you can't get away with participating in a crime by saying you're a It's the same reason Britt Hume stopped moonlighting as a jigolo. Yeah. Yeah, just put it right there. Yeah, I've got to go. Just put the money on the dresser. Yeah, that's it.

I'll be out. Out of your way. All right. Joe Rogan claimed his podcast wasn't nominated for the Golden Globes because he didn't pay the $500 entry fee. Meanwhile, Don Lemon claimed his podcast wasn't nominated because he didn't have the $500 entry fee. Poor guy. A self-driving car in California hit several parked cars

and narrowly missed two people, proving that self-driving cars are already better drivers than women. I know. A sexist probably wrote that. On Monday, Puxetani Phil, the groundhog, will predict the weather at the annual event

in Gobblers Knob, Pennsylvania. In a related story, Don Lemon. Why? I'll go on. He's suing the town of Gobblers' Knob for stealing the name of his hotmail account. On this day, six years ago, the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a public health emergency. But they're still reminding you that you should wear a mask if your face looks like this.

Bruce Springsteen released an anti-ice and anti-Trump protest song. Ooh, wow. It's called the Streets of Minneapolis. It's like the streets of Philadelphia, except it gives your ears AIDS. You know, I like that joke. NASA just unveiled a powerful supercomputer that can run 20 quadrillion calculations per second. I think we have a shot of this supercomputer here. little Asian kid.

It's not racist if it's a compliment. Tim Walt said he will never run for public office again, but he will find another way to serve. Well, meet Hooters' new waitress. Yummy. The views Anna Navarro called Alex Preti a perfect guy that she'd want her son to be like. Well, that's just insane.

I mean, who'd have it. kid with Anna Navarro. In India, a man cut off one of his own feet in a bid to get at a med school on a disability scholarship. Well, that's one way to get your foot in the door. Actress Molly Ringwald said America isn't a great country, and she compared ice to Nazis, which really annoyed the other people in line at the soup kitchen. California scientists have discovered a hot spot that could trigger devastating.

stating earthquakes. We also have one here. Don't egg it on. You're applauding it. In Michigan State Police captured an escape miniature donkey named Dolly Parton. It's the first time anyone said that name

while talking about an ass. And finally, according to a new academic study, women find men with big penises more attractive, causing one man to say, I don't follow the side. science. That's funny because it's true. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

It began on the shores of New Jersey. The calls of gym, tan, laundry, reverberated north to Canada, where a new type of party animal resides. They move as a herd migrating to their favorite watering holes, asserting dominance by flexing, grinding, and twerking. Coupling is quick, steamy, and sometimes in hot tubs. When morning arrives, they do it all over again. Canada Shore, new original series, now streaming on Paramount Plus. All right, so this past week we've seen a ton of videos of protesters, but here's one you might have missed. You need to affirm that no city resources will go to ice.

Each and every one of these people who have came up has been very polite, very earnest, very kind, pleading you, begging you to do something. I'm not begging you. I'm demanding that you act with some semblance of a spine. Wow. You know, it's not often a man wearing fake muscles demands that you have a spine. The only thing

holding him up is a full body spanks. Even the guy in the Wonder Woman costume said that's pretty gay. So that's Batman, but what about Batgirl? Don Lemon was arrested. first storming a Minneapolis church,

which is a shock. I always thought his big arrest would involve his pants being down at a movie theater. What are you booing? Of course, he lied about his role in the attack, but this is one case where the media and the subject it lies about

are the same. It's the myth of the modern protest. The media demands we suspend logic and reason, trust the agitator's word for it too. So if a protester says he's under duress, well, they are. Never mind what insane behavior led to it. Because the press applies a filter to airbrush the madness. It's like that insane nurse who wished a horrific childbirth injury on Caroline Levitt. Remove her TikTok filter and she went from just bat-h-krazy to bat-krazy and butt-ugly. Now to that footage from January 13th, which shows Alex Pretty screaming and spitting at the feds and kicking out the SUVs.

light. It gives context to this contest between the irrational and the law. And it reveals the simple game being played in all protests, created an environment for chaos that leads to an act of brutality on tape, which creates the phony narrative, one of peaceful protests versus evil eyes. But as anyone asked, why are they using whistles? That's not to alert anyone of danger. It's to scramble the senses of law enforcement, so they're less likely to make careful decisions. Imagine if you did that to agitators at their jobs. Good luck. They don't have any.

But the media can instantly pronounce guilt from afar using a video. Meanwhile, the police shall be condemned for making a split decision under obvious stress. When a gun goes off, the agitators demand the agents do nothing. Sorry, shabags. That's not how it works. Of course, it would be nice to have actual police there, but local leaders had them stand down, which is a new weapon in liberal cities. But for Fry and Waltz, it was a short-term virtue signal,

with the long-term cost of chaos, death, and soon millions of dollars in lawsuits. The city of Seattle was disfound liable for $30 million. To the family of a man killed in the chop zone, the protest-controlled area the city decided not to police. So pay attention, Minneapolis. You're about to pay more, and deservedly so. You treated freaking out like a virtue, which is as destructive as it is illogical.

But I guess if they liked logic, there'd be no socialism, no queers for Palestine, no insisting that we say things like her penis with a straight face. Logic ruins moral panics, and moral panics are what fuels this behavior, which makes you wonder about all the past protests that the media lionized, where they also foreign-funded conspiracies to destabilize America, the number of ruses multiply from Minneapolis streets to Georgia courthouses to crime stats and census numbers. The left understands institutional power and useful idiots. Put the two together, you have a worse combination than Joe and Mika. So that's why the pretty video matters, for it blows up the myth of the noble protest. Without

it, this behavior was sold as heroic, but instead you saw a troubled man out of control inciting violence. And the more people see that, the fewer tragedies will have because it's false narratives that drive people crazy or Don Lemon into acting more like Don Lemon. Because if you invade a church and you make children cry, you just might be the bad guy. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad free on the Amazon Music app. This is Ainslie Earhart. Thank you for joining me for the 52 episode podcast series, The Life of Jesus.

A listening experience that will provide hope, comfort, and understanding of the greatest story ever told. Listen and follow now at foxnewspodcasts.com or wherever you listen to podcasts.