Gutfeld! Monologues - The Not So Cruel Kids Table

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg delivers a monologue on the viral New York Magazine cover of a young conservative inauguration weekend party that has ignited a conversation on where young American culture has gone in 2025. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I suppose that'll do. Happy Tuesday, everyone. So angry newsman, Jim Acosta, announced on air that he's leaving.

CNN. He now works for the same highly esteemed organization as his former colleague, Don Lemon. The Trump White House has unveiled a new Twitter account to hold fake news accountable. It's called Rapid Response 47. Not to be

confused with Rapid Response 46, which is how many times they called 911 when they thought Joe was dead. President Trump has recently floated the idea of sending nearly 90,000 newly hired IRS agents to the border. The drug cartels welcome the news, saying, finally someone less popular than us. Illinois governor, Jay Pritzker, says he'll stand in the way of deportations that he feels break Illinois law. He also says he'll stand in the way of anyone who tries. to cut in front of him at Sizzler.

He's a big fat guy. On his first day in the job, Secretary of Defense, Pete Hagseth, declared no more DEI at the department. You're already seeing a big change. Instead of take your daughter to workday, you now have Learned to Kill People Month. Trump has signed an executive order

banning transgender troops from the military, they will be reassigned to the Bravo Channel. Such a gay channel. I can tell you don't watch. So with the help from the Taliban, the Biden administration spent $15 million to hand out contraceptives and condoms in Afghanistan. This, after failing to convince the goats to go on the pill.

I knew that was coming. But I guess the Taliban is cool with condoms. I mean, why would they take our advice on how to pull out? Wow. I know. John Federman drew outrage from the cast of the View for claiming Trump's New York hush money trial was politically motivated. I guess the View thought he was one of them

because he also weighs 300 pounds. And finally, the CIA now says a lab leak is the most likely explanation for the COVID-19 pandemic. Great news for lovers of bat soup. All right. Let's do a monologue. Okay, Greg. So it seems like the Trump-led Republican Party

is kicking ass and taking names. I haven't seen this many changes since puberty. Now, I know this is the part where I'm supposed to say all politics is cyclical, that the Dems are going to come back storming in the midterms. And it could be true, of course. But it's also possible that in a game of one, on one, I could dunk on Baron Trump.

But you know, that's not true. Right now, the Dems are lost, wandering in the political wilderness like Joe Biden in the rainforest. Maybe you could turn that into a reality TV show called Naked and Afraid of the Truth. They're like a bunch of California politicians standing around watching the houses burn. No plan, no leadership, nobody did to tell them what to do. So what's left when you're left with the one tool that your elites taught you? Well, you get this cover story from New York Magazine that bashes young righties titled

The Cruel Kids Table. Because, of course, for the left, it always goes back to the cafeteria in high school. And it takes the new MAGA generation to task for being happy, hopeful, and so-called normal. But in the piece, the writer paints them as creepy, white, and racist, especially white, as white as Steve Ducey at a nude beach. But the writer, Brock Collier, couldn't rely on facts for that observation. The rag had to resort to some heavy-handed photo edits in which the magazine reviews blacks from the cover photo and the party.

The writer even quotes a partygoer without mentioning that person's race. He could have, but then there goes your byline. It's no cover story if it's black and white. But according to young black conservative C.J. Pearson, who actually hosted the event, there were black partiers there that the magazine either cropped out or carefully avoided for its cover photo. That must have been awkward, you know, asking the blacks to move out of the photo because they're ruining your narrative. They're like a really specific wedding, wedding photographer. Just the bridesmaid. Now just the parents. Now just the white people. So who are the racist now, bitches? Of course this ain't new.

It's just another retread of an old attack, but it's even more pointless because no one is buying it anymore. This beast has been slayed. So why are they still playing this tune long after the song died? It's too easy to say, because they have nothing else.

Because this time is different. Sure, you could always pick any issue and it would be the same crime, immigration, social events. Underneath it, it's always going to be the racist. But now there's a helplessness to it. And the helplessness is due to a total reliance on outside forces telling you what to think. And now that outside force has been decapitated. That voice that told them Trump was Hitler, or men could shower with girls, or Taylor Swift was a six when you know she's a five.

That voice has vanished. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Some people think nature is like this, but actually it's like this. That's why Columbia engineers everything we make for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia, engineered for whatever. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Podcasts follow us everywhere. Whether you're cooking in the kitchen, chilling in the living room,

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And so they pretend to report, but wonder bitterly why everyone else seems so different from them. And by different, I mean free and happy. Because they're thinking for themselves. Look at that cover. The people that the left hates, they look awesome. And most of all, fearless. You can bet they aren't looking over their shoulders for cancel cops. Hell, they even invited one to the party, the writer from New York Magazine.

So in these happy faces, you see people who weren't waiting for a bat signal. They weren't slaves to the external voice, the fear of social stigma unleashed online by a tiny group of unstable shut-ins who claimed to be journalists. All this Trump energy is fueled by that repudiation. Trump freed America from the slavery of paralyzing groupthink, which was the empty, sad life that the elites exploited for status and wealth, that wokeism, the fear of the smear. and now it's all gone. And all you have are the pathetic few

who wait for their marching orders from somewhere, anywhere, please. Meanwhile, the rest of the world parties on. And you could bet they aren't thinking of you, dear writer, and that's what hurts most. When you make your life about identity, it hurts that no one cares.

As everyone realizes, you have nothing else, and you become a party of one. Let's welcome to tonight's guest. Listen, ad-free. with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. This is Jimmy Phala, inviting you to join me for Fox Across America, where we'll discuss every single one of the Democrats' dumb ideas.

Just kidding, it's only a three-hour show. Listen live at noon Eastern or get the podcast at Fox Across America.com.