Gutfeld! Monologues - The Professionally Miserable

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

As seen on Guteld! former President Joe Biden is struggling to adjust to civilian life.  Also, Greg delivers a spicy take on the professionally miserable and their dramatic “Trump Derangement Syndrome”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yes, yes, yes, I know. Yeah, over you. Yes, you. Please remember, on the way out, leave your wet towels with Brigham. Happy Tuesday, everyone. Reportedly, former President Joe Biden is having trouble adjusting to civilian life after more than 50 years in politics. True. Now, when he calls a lid, it's to go coffin shopping.

Hard to believe it's already the third week of the government shutdown. Things have gotten so rough out there that Ilhan Omar just told her brother that he has to pay for dinner. Or she won't put out. The trash. After they have sex. With different people. people. In the family.

Adopted family. Last year, view co-host, Alyssa Farah Griffin, promised to wear a MAGA hat if Trump got the hostages out. But Trump said he's willing to forget the promise if the others swear to wear MAGA paper bags. Speaking of on today's show, Joy Behar said, quote, Republicans are afraid of us. Come on. Come on. It's not like being a stupid bitch as contagious.

It was actually worse, the original draft. I'm not kidding. Secretary of War, Pete Hedgeseth, says he's removed fat National Guard soldiers that were deployed to Chicago. But if other soldiers start purposely gaining weight, they will be charged with deserting. I'm ashamed of that. President Trump called his picture on Time Magazine's cover the worst.

But hey, he's not the only person who's mad at time. Yeah, that was a good one. Kamala Harris claims Trump is using the military to attack American cities and the people who live there. It's true. She recently got bombed in San Francisco where she was assaulted by Captain Morgan.

Can't win them all. Nobel Prize winner John Gurdon, known for his expertise in cloning, has died at the age of 92. He's survived by his sons, John Gerdin, John Gerdin, John Gerdin, and John Gerdin. And finally, photos emerged of Katie Perry making out with Justin Trudeau on a yacht.

I know. I didn't know Katie was into black dudes. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot track side. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Turns and conditions apply.

Learn more at amex.ca. slash Yannex. All right. So after 738 days, Hamas handed the last living Israeli hostages over and the region took the first real step towards something that looks like peace. A piece where two sides that hate each other can agree to coexist. So there is hope for others. But that's not Trump fan fiction.

That's the reality from the world's headlines. But not everyone rejoiced, of course, because nothing makes douchebags sadder than a peace deal that Donald Trump brokered because they can't let go of the past. It's like hating the doctor who saves your life just because he once banged your mom over spring break. Let it go, Steve. But the professionally miserable are never happy unless they're right.

On cue, New York Times dropped these headlines. Quote, as Trump takes a victory lap, he avoids questions about what's next. And even amid celebrations, a sense of gloom pervades Gaza. You know, I wonder what these dopes tell their kids on Christmas morning. Remember, kids, while you're playing Operation, millions go without adequate health coverage. Oh, did you know sliding down that chimney gives Santa increased risk of mesothelioma? And also, elves are slave labor. They even fretted, quote, what happened to campus activism against the war in Gaza?

In other words, remember the good old days when Jews were afraid to attend class? The Times even suggest Trump went too slow on the deal. So after decades and decades of war, they blamed the guy who just showed up and stopped it. You can feel the time's disappointment. Sure, there's peace, but it's not worth it if we look dumb. Anthony Blinken claims the deal was based on Biden's groundwork. No, the only groundwork Biden did was pressing the life alert after falling on the ground. So take those sour grapes and make wine for Kamala.

Lincoln was part of the foreign policy that brought us October 7th, the Afghan pullout, a resurgent Iran, and Russia's incursion into Ukraine. Him showing up now for a victory lap is the diplomatic equivalent of the water boy flashing his championship ring to strangers. Then there's CNN's queen, bonkers herself, who said this. It's been a terrible, terrible two years for them because not only are they there, you know, they're probably being treated better than the average garson because they are the pawns and the chips that Hamas

had. Now Hamas has given up all its leverage, by the way, by giving them all up. So that is a victory for the Israeli side. Oh my God. First lady, Greta Thunberg called. She wants her bangs back. But you think hostages freed would be a layup.

Instead, we get a lecture from this asshole Amman Poor, whose name I believe is Farsi, for head up your ass. Meanwhile, in the day actual human beings left Hamas prisons, George Conway, remember him, hype the upcoming No Kings protest with a video depicting Comey, Letitia James,

John Bolton, and Jimmy Kimmel as heroes. Yeah, if that were a movie, they'd call it three men and a baby. Kimmel. All right, you can, they see the joke. Meanwhile, the male Liz Janie, i.e. Adam Kinzinger, says one sees fire doesn't make him a peacemaker, which is like saying you're not a firefighter if you don't put out every fire, or you're not a Clinton if you don't

murder every political foe. But I get it. It's got to hurt to admit the obvious through clenched teeth after calling everyday Americans who suck with Trump roobes and threats to democracy. So what's next for the never-trumpers? They'll say the peace isn't permanent, that who deserves credit is complicated? No, it's not. It's as plain as the smiles on the hostages and their family's faces. No, not this time. It's simple. Yeah, it's not about Trump. It's about you and your self-doubt. You realize that if you're wrong on this, you are likely wrong about a lot of things. And there goes your identity. One firmly rooted in Trump derangement. Your derangement was scaffolding for your ego, and it's collapsing before your very eyes.

But for many, that should mean freedom to finally get on with your life and think about things and people without this distorted filter. Surely there's still some time to come back to sanity where men are men, women are women, and peace deals are worth celebrating. But for those still lost in the sea of Trump hate, that's a fate worse than death. Let's welcome. Listen, head free with a Fox News, News Podcasts plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show

ad-free on the Amazon Music app. It's Will Tame Country. Watch it live at noon Eastern Monday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel. And don't miss the show. Listen and follow the podcast five days a week at Fox News Podcasts.com or wherever you download your favorite podcasts.