Gutfeld! Monologues - The “R” Word

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, AOL is shutting down its dial-up service.  Also, the “R” word rears its ugly head. Greg lets you know what that word is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sorry I didn't call. Happy Tuesday, everyone. So AOL announced it's finally shutting down its dial-up service. It's a shame because one man had just got the upgrade. President Trump has moved.

Obama's White House portrait to a rarely used stairwell. But if he really wants no one to see it, he should just give it to Jimmy Kimmel. Meanwhile, the portrait of Bill Clinton was moved from the ladies' bathroom. Because its eyes kept moving. A hairless English French bulldog was crowned the winner of the 2025 world's ugliest dog contest. Well, it looks like I got my third face. for nothing, said the runner-up. Yeah.

On Monday, President Trump deployed the National Guard in D.C. where he criticized the city, saying, quote, My father told me when you walk into a restaurant and see a dirty front door, don't go in. Sounds like his dad was trying to warn him about Stormy Daniels. Trump also said he told the National Guard to tell criminals.

you spit and we hit, which is a lot different from an ex-president's motto of, you swallow and I follow. Sorry. U.S. Attorney Janine Piro went on a tirade saying our laws are weak. We can't touch anyone if they're 14, 15, 16, or 17 years old. Tell me about it, said one man. An ABC news anchor revealed she was jumped by a half-dressed vagrant in D.C.

But John Federman claims he was in Pittsburgh at the time. And finally, New York mayoral candidate Zoran Mamdani kicked off a campaign tour in Manhattan and was joined by Jerry Nadler. Mamdami was kissing babies while Nadler was eating them. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, Prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail-biting novel from time to time,

with services like Prime Video, Amazon music, and fast-free delivery, Prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.com slash Prime to learn more. all right so as the trump administration takes over the dc police to improve the city's quality of life the r word rears its ugly head you guessed it racist he has always felt that american cities especially those with large black populations like washington dc are crime ridden and run by incompetent leadership i think it's very notable that each and every one of the cities called out by the president has a black mayor.

The project 2025 is Jim Crow 2.0. I can tell you right now exactly what is going to happen in so many of these instances because it's all right there. If you look in the history books, you see it. This president is trying to lead us into what could be called a civil war. Sorry, the only civil war I'm seeing is between those two meerkats wrestling on your head.

But racist is the Swiss Army knife of Democrat talking points. It slices, dices, and it fits any debate. When in doubt, you pull it out. Now, never mind that violent crime always affects people of color more, but this is acceptable, especially to those comfortable white reporters. After all, it's black and lower-income residents who are far more worried about crime

than white higher-income folks. So it's no wonder the liberal answer to fighting crime is song. D.C. is our home. You can have it drunk. D.C. is our home. You can have it drunk. It's our home. So it's our home. It's our home. Ironically, while they were singing, their home. were robbed by 14-year-olds.

Meanwhile, a Washington Post source says D.C. is safe, but wants to stay anonymous over personal safety concerns. That's how you know crime is bad when the people reporting on it want to join the witness protection program. Then in walks Trump.

The Dems accuse him of being simplistic when he really just sees problems simply. Our borders open, fine. Let's close it. Remember we were told that could never work? took Trump, what, three months? He probably could have done it in three hours, but he was drawing plans to add a ballroom to the White House.

Same for D.C. Crime is still high. A police commander got suspended for fudging crime numbers. Our nation's capital has residents saying, huh, maybe we should move to Mogadishu. Well, if the politicians won't fix it, I'll do it. You know, Trump is like Harvey Keitel and Pulp Fiction. He is the fixer.

He cleans up other people's f***ups. Of course, CNN fact checkers, AWOL during Biden, are now back screaming, Don't believe your eyes, kids, crimes going down. But they don't tell you how. The numbers are fudged. They labeled harsh crimes as lesser ones, the kind not recorded into the FBI system. But it's still the same crime. So when Daniel Dale says crime is down, it's like saying your life is better because you'll be hit by a two-by-four instead of a brick.

Sorry, dick. The only thing going down in D.C. are the hookers in public parks and your network's ratings. Truth is, D.C. now stands for dangerous children who destroy lives without ever feeling the corrective weight of punishment, which explains why D.C.'s recidivism rate is double that of adults. Take it away, Janine. I see too much violent crime being committed by young punks who think that they can get together in gangs and crews and beat the hell out of you. You. They know that we can't touch them. Why? Because the laws are weak. We need to go after the D.C. Council and their absurd laws. And also get rid of that lectern. Or at least give her an apple crate to stand on. Look, I know the feeling. Here I am at the lectern when I got

invited to the White House. Now, the Dems can whine, but Trump is legally within his rights to take over D.C. because the place is already federal. It's like telling your teenager, hey, I'm taking away your car keys because I've been paying for the gas, insurance, and speeding tickets. And by the way, the car is mine anyway. The Dems would know that if they weren't hiding from carjackers. But the real reason the left is worried? Because if it works in D.C., what then? Philly, Baltimore, Oakland, Chicago?

They're like Gaza with NBA franchises, and they're all Blue Run. What if they realize they don't have to live like this? Of course, every move Trump makes in D.C. will be scrutinized by every media hack as they sit in their secure doorman buildings. And they'll soon trot out experts to say why crime is someone else's fault and how we don't understand the root causes.

But we know better. Those who obsess over root causes are the root causes. You never hear a stabbing victim say, hey, make sure you arrest the root cause. See, crime isn't partisan when it's happening to you. Bullets don't check your voter registration before they hit. And that's the real risk for the left. That simple law enforcement will boost the quality of life for all residents.

Blacks, browns, whites, you name it. Success. Nothing scares lefty mayors more. Well, besides the guy who brings it. Let's welcome. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. I'm Janice Dean. Join me every Sunday as I focus on stories of hope and people who are truly rays of sunshine in their community and across the world.

Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com.