Gutfeld! Monologues - The War On Woke

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, wokeism is becoming more insane and aggressive, just ask NYM writer, Brock Colyar. Meanwhile, checking in on our neighbors to the north, you won't believe this new woke acronym dropped by a Canadian member of parliament. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. It's never going to get better than this. Kind of sad, actually. Good evening, everyone. So police are investigating a woman's disappearance after her husband said she fell off the boat, his boat. Suspicion grew when officers learned the boat is named,

my wife's a bitch. Hundreds of oil tankers are still backed up and waiting to move through the Strait of Hormuz. Have you tried lubricant? asked one man. As the Artemis II space caps, streaks towards Earth, NASA warrants intense friction will make re-entry dangerous. Have you tried lubricants? Ask one man.

I'm done. New York mayor Zohran Mamdani plans to raise taxes on wealthy whites to fund his racial equity plan. This is meant to complement the city's current wealth transfer plan, mugging. Lawyers for Sean. Diddy Combs claim his freak-off orgies were just amateur porn protected by the First Amendment. And they cite the case of Johnson versus enormous Johnson. A 95-year-old woman from South London has broken five age group world records for swimming. And they plan to give her a medal if she ever comes back.

Another government scientist has disappeared, bringing the total to nine missing scientists. Police suspect foul play, saying all the missing scientists have one thing in common. They failed to find a cure for cancels. We're just looking at patterns here, people. IBM has come up with a new high-speed chip that can complete an equation in 12 billionths of a second. Here's chip. And finally, a new study shows that gardening is good for your brain. Oh, that's why I spend so much time with my hose, said one man.

Very slow, huh? All right. Drink some water. It's tasty tonight. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. So while we focus abroad on Iran, the real forever war is happening here. I'm talking about wokeness. We might think it's dead, but really, it's alive and thriving.

It reminds me at the time we buried grandma early. Boy, what's wrong with you people? All right. Listen to this from New York magazine writer Brock Collier talking about how it's only intensified. You get extra credit if you don't puke. It feels like more fraught and policey than ever in my social circles.

There's like a slight fascistic thing about the way of what we're doing. Can you say you didn't like this movie? Can you say that you like Lana Delvey? Oh, but wait, she dated a cop a couple of years. years ago. Like, can you like her? And she has trad wife aesthetics. Like, you know, all sharing on Instagram, like, who exactly you should rank in the New York elections. And if you don't rank it exactly that way, then get out of this circle. In some corners of the world,

I think woke is more alive than ever, and it's getting more intense. Actually, I think I had my first period while listening to that. No offense, but what a waste of the name. That's the least Brock Brock I've ever seen. But it's true, as the walls close in, cornered animals are often the most dangerous. I know this from shooting invasive feral hogs from my helicopter, which explains why Joy Behar now wears orange. Because wokeism is like any cult.

They only increase the awfulness when they feel threatened. That's why Jim Jones led to mass suicide, and why Nirvana led to the foo fighters. Thank you. Fact is, as sane people leave, the leftovers congeal into something more extreme, like baked on Greece. When Pete Hegseth noted that we leave no man behind, Emis Now's leftover, Lawrence O'Donnell, had this to say. The general knows, unlike Pete Hegseth, that that could have been. than a woman they were trying to rescue, and it might be a woman the next time. Sorry, Larry, but Pete knew for sure the pilot was male, which is more than I could say about my

thoughts on Chris Hayes. And trust me, if there's a broad, Hexeth will find her. That's crazy. I wouldn't even come up with O'Donnell's observation as a joke because it's too on the knows. But that's the thing about wokeness. It's so absurd. No one takes it as real until it becomes a campaign platform.

And the lunatics go from eating paste in the arts and crafts room to turning the whole world into their asylum. Right now, there are still equity, audits, and race-conscious hiring. There are still states pushing gender-affirming care for minors. And you got Dems still pushing for reduced police

forces as well as for banning ice. It's worse up north. Listen to this new acronym, One of the Canadian members of Parliament dropped recently. When the budget was released, I was shocked to find out that Prime Minister Carney is cutting $7 billion between Indigenous Services Canada and Crown Indigenous Relations. They provided $0 to deal with the ongoing genocide of MMIWG2S-LGBQQQIA Plus. Don't laugh. She might have fallen asleep on her keyboard.

woke up and said, hmm, I can use that. But lady, can you say that again so I can write it down? MMIWG-2S-L-G-L-G-T-Q-Q-I-A-P-A-plus. I knew that sounded familiar. Now I've got to change my password to Pornhub. So why is that Canadian acronym

from that creep so horrible? Because it's front-loaded with people who experience actual suffering, missing or dead girls. But then it's strapped to a train of impostors leaching off their suffering, stolen valor, but reworked as stolen victimhood. It's far worse than schools. Listen to this Canadian professor. I have worked with four and five-year-olds in schools who have genders that their parents don't

want them to have. Parents' rights have suddenly been weaponized against trans and non-binary and two-spirit youth. I want us to get really comfortable with challenging right-wing Christian patriarchy. I want to say things like, You can do work around sexual orientation and gender diversity with children of all ages. And so I want us to think about these conversations in kindergarten. Of course you do, you sick, fat, repulsive. Repulsive, repulsive piece of sands. I'm sorry, censors, but I'm sorry.

You know, I'd ask what they're putting in the water in Canada, but clearly it's ice cream. When it should be Thorazine. Let's not forget the hot trend in Canadian healthcare. You fall in down and you can't get up. They'll send an ambulance. They'll send a hearse. So far, 76,000 Canadians have chosen euthanasia as a prescription. And in ageist old people are people with terminal illnesses,

which is why we've got to keep paying attention. What happens up there happens here. Marxism and socialism are still alive and well, but they take on different names and shapes. For every Castro that croaks abroad, a Zohran shows up here, and he can't even fix my printer. This is why you can't let your issues with Trump prevent you from voting in 2026. The reason why Zohan won in New York is because 8 million people stayed home. So if you decide to do the same in 2026, you're handing power over to the people who've only gotten worse.

See, Woke isn't dead. It just finds a new disguise, and it slipped further into the system, which makes it a lot harder to spot. But the only thing more dangerous than a bad idea is the kind that learns how to hide. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app.