Gutfeld! Monologues - They Twiddle Their Thumbs, But Which View Member Is Most Dumb?

Episode Date: April 13, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Outkick Host Charly Arnolt, Comedian Jamie Lissow, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and Comedian Rob Schnieder debate which member of The View has the lowest IQ. Plus, Greg sounds off on why President Biden cannot serve a second term as President. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Thank you. Happy Tuesday, everybody. Okay, all right, all right. Thank you so much. Let's get started. So during a fundraiser on Saturday, Donald Trump claimed Joe Biden soiled himself in the Oval Office.

This is factually untrue. President Biden did not soil himself in the Oval Office. He soiled himself in the Oval Office, the Rose Garden, the Lincoln Bedroom, the State dining room, the library, the East Room, Air Force One, Air Force 2, the state car, Marine One, and in front of the Pope in Rome.

All right. The Justice Department says they won't hand over subpoenaed audio recordings of former Special Counsel Robert Hur's interview with President Biden. However, we here at Gutfeld have been able to secure a brief clip. Roll it.

And Joan, Shang Gang, my password, Shanga, Oh my God, quick, get the paddles. Clear. Putin's Cuptaker.

Yeah. You know, that's great. A new study says marijuana use can dramatically lower the risk of cognitive decline in adults over 45. In response, the White House just introduced their new chief of staff. A new Gallupol finds a sharp decline of Americans' trust in President Biden. These are some things people trust more than Joe Biden. Horoscopes, Ouija boards, and Titanic submersibles.

Too soon? They can't hear it. Former Chicago mayor, Lori Lightfoot, has been hired to investigate Dalton, Illinois, Mayor Tiffany Henniard for corruption. That's like hiring OJ to investigate a murder. A London musical celebrating Caribbean culture from a queer perspective warns that it features the sound of people eating oranges. And if that triggers you, wait till you see what they do with bananas. Morning Joe host, Joe Scarborough is 61 today. Yeah, he's five years older than his wife, Mika,

but only a year older than her face. I don't get it. A recent study finds that 20% of Americans have sacrificed meals to afford their rent or mortgage, unlike some people who sacrificed their rent or mortgage to afford their meals. That could have been better. All right.

As the numbers have dead mounted, the FBI undercounted. According to the Washington Examiner, the latest FBI crime report is, quote, unreliable at best and deceptive at worst. Sounds like that marital aid I bought at the dollar store. But they claim crime in America actually went down last year. Do you buy that? You shouldn't because it's a lie. The only thing that went down is the Democrat who bribed the FBI to publish this.

Their stats say murder dropped 13% and violent crime was down almost 6%, which the media happily parroted. But as you'll see, it was based on exaggerated guesses. And in fact, they were saying, hey, you know all that crime you see every day? It's not happening. That broken eye socket, Diane suffered walking down 44th Street. she probably just walked into a door. After all, why would the government under a Democrat president lie to you? Hell, they'd say they like fox and friends to keep their jobs.

Meanwhile, the Coalition for Law Order and Safety and Independent Group of Law Enforcement Folks blamed the increase in crime on depolicing, decarceration, de-prosecution, all ideas pushed by the de-emocrats. In other words, the law isn't being enforced. Too many thugs are being released, and prosecutors refuse to deal with the ones who are left. And the whole thing is run by politicians pretending everything's fine.

It's like they work at a slaughterhouse, and the stats are the soap to get the blood off their hands. Because in order for a crime to exist, a law has to be broken and then enforced before you can count it as a crime. If you don't do the last two, then the first thing doesn't exist. It's like never getting on a scale in claiming you haven't put on a pay. pound in years. A few years ago, the feds demanded local enforcement used something called the national incident-based reporting system to report crimes. The acronym is N-I-B-R-S. So just to be safe, I'll say neighbors. Now, as we all know, the feds love to streamline every process and make it easier to understand. And I say that with my tongue planted so far in my cheek. I look like Kamala Harris

on her first job interview in SF. The sexist would say. Cities tried using the neighbor's system, but like Biden's previgin, it wasn't working. So cops in L.A. and New York and Chicago simply didn't submit crime data to the FBI. The feds gave up on it and are now just making up, except they call it estimation. They're using inferred stats. Which brings me to this rule, if you think the numbers stink, it's because they pull them out of their ass. Because when you have a strong incentive to downplay crime, that's what you'll do. And now victims sense the hopelessness of the justice system and have stopped reporting crime. Can you blame them?

That's why the feds claim violent robberies dropped almost 20% between 2019 and 2022, while the government's own victim survey reveals it actually went up 30%. So the government says, believe us, not the girl with a fat lip in the missing iPhone. So actual crime isn't dropping at all. It's just that fewer crimes are being reported because it's not a penalty if the ref didn't call it. And guess who thinks you're too stupid to know the difference? Last year, the United States had one of the lowest rates of all violent crimes in more than 50 years. He thinks you believe that.

He also thinks Barack Obama is his butler. Here's the problem with Joe's claim. It's not verifiable. The official FBI numbers only go back to 1985. That's 39 years, not 50. And here's what the FBI chart for murders looks like from their own website. While there was a drop from last year,

it's still the highest murder number since 1996. But it's easier to sell a lie when the media is already to tow the line. I mean, I just debunk some of the things Trump is pushing about crime. He says crime is worse than ever, when in most places in the U.S. is actually going down. The truth is that violent crime skyrocketed under Donald Trump's presidency. Crime has fallen under Joe Biden's presidency.

Crime rates keep dropping. Crime, in fact, the rate is lower now than when Donald Trump was in office. Funny, Scarborough had more to say there, but they had to cut the clip short, do it an armed intruder. But at least they admit crime spiked in 2020. 20 thanks to the Dems cheering on an orgy of riots and looting. And sorry, under Joe Biden's watch, the only thing falling is Joe Biden. But that's the game.

Refuse to see what's really happening, then brag about it. Oh, brag about how blind you are. But when you're a member of that professional crime ring called the Democratic Party, it's all about spin. We need to talk about the reality here. The simple facts and the simple reality are right here staring us in the face, including the fact that I can safely walk my dog to the Capitol today in a way that you couldn't do when we all got here. That's because you have a security detail. It's like me saying, you know, dieting isn't that hard as I inject Ozempic into my ass. And how does transportation

secretary not know that car thefts have hit an all-time high? Because the left is great at ignoring reality and its victims. Here in New York, a gangbanger who's been cuffed nine times is here on charges from grand larceny to death threats against women is free after being repeatedly released without bail. But when somebody complains about getting robbed, the elites just sneer and say, what are you complaining about, you little whiner? Haven't you seen this graph? Because when you're a Democrat, criminals aren't so different from them. The only difference, we can vote these douchebags out in November. All right, don't go anywhere.

We'll be right back. The conjuring last rites on September 5th. I come down here when you did your help. Array! Array! Array! Array! Array!

Array! The Conjuring Last Rites, only in theater September 5th, Bridgetar. Some people think nature is like this, but actually, it's like this. That's why Columbia engineers everything we make for anything nature can throw at you. Columbia, engineered for whatever. Let's welcome how nice guests. He's done more. More odd characters than a whore at a furry convention.

Actor, comedian, and author of the upcoming book, you can do it, Rob Schneider. She's as bubbly as a chakoozy full of Alka-Seltzer. Outkick host Charlie Arnold. His idea of a full house is when he's home alone, watching Full House. Actor, writer, comedian, Jamie Lissau. And when this cat gets stuck in a tree, the fire department leaves her there.

New York Times best-selling author and Fox News contributor, Cat, too. Yeah. Woo! Our view on the view. Who's the dumbest of them all. Their brains are small. all. But who's the dumbest one of all? True, none of them are in Mensa, but who's the most densa? Perhaps it's Sunny who mastered the art of making idiots look smart. Now the view

could ask a mirror who's the dumbest one of all, but there's no way that glass doesn't shatter. So instead, let's check out this clip from Monday's episode of The View when the ladies put their science caps on and discuss the solar eclipse. I know, right? I mean, I have to say, Karen Dupiche, our wonderful, one of our wonderful makeup artists, when the earthquake was happening, she put her coat on, and she was like, Jesus is coming. I'm out. I'm out. I'm leaving. We've got a solar eclipse. We've got the earthquake. She ran down the hallway. The rapture is here. The rapture is here. And then also I learned that the cicadas are coming. Cicadas. Cicadas. For the first time in like 100 years. For the first time in many, many years.

No. Every 17 years is happening. Well, that's not what I read, but maybe, you know, maybe you know better. All those things together would maybe lead one to believe that, you know, either climate change exists. That's more the point. Or something is returning. That's quick not at the mercy of climate change. It's on the ground. It happens.

And the eclipse, they've known about the eclipse coming because eclipse has happened, and they actually can say when these things are going to happen. Amazing. That's not what I read. The true sign of the apocalypse is someone that dumb has a law degree. Worse, if your name has the word sun in it, there's no excuse for not knowing how an eclipse works. But it's no surprise that Joy is the one to understand science. She's been on the science diet for years.

They're turning on me. So that makes Sunny Hosten, who thinks climate change caused the solar eclipse, the dumbest of the mall. Because everyone knows the moon caused the eclipse, which is controlled by the view's gravitational pull. All right, Kat. Did you ever see such a group? It's amazing how Joy and Whoopie became the smart ones. For me, the most shocking thing about the conversation was how truly boring it was. They're like, well, the cicadas, they're cicadas.

Okay, but it was like every 100 years. No, it's every 17 years. Do you know what I mean Emmys this show has? 31. 31 Emmys. This show has 31. I mean, I'd hate to see the conversations that don't make headlines. What?

And we don't have a single Emmy. Not a single one. What does that tell you about the Emmys, Kat? Yes, thank you, Mr. Boo. Give that man a free. something. A cup of water. Charlie, are these women bad for women? They're bad for more than just women. The whole discussion about climate change drives me nuts because it does not exist. But the only reason I have come to love it is because of the characters that have gotten themselves

involved. I mean, just a couple of weeks ago when I was on the show, we were talking about the snowboarder who testified before Congress. Remember, he was like the guy who was like, oh, bro, like I think that there's climate change, and he had no idea what he was talking about. That was great. And then Greta Thumburg, who I have grown to be very fond of, because she continually makes a mockery of herself. She was arrested not once but twice this past weekend. And now Sonny Hosten throwing her hat in the ring, claiming that these naturally recurring events, such as earthquakes, which, by the way, I did my research. The first one was in 1831 BC, saying that they stem from climate change or something. And I know. I know she was just

dying when she said something, she wanted to say racism. Dying to say that. Yeah, it was either going to be racism or Trump, but then she realized what if Trump wasn't born then? Yeah. Also, what a way to cover your bases? Or something. Yeah. Jamie, you do that a lot with punchlines. Yeah. What's your problem? What a sensitive audience tonight? And it's true. Yeah. What are your thoughts on the view? I want to know, too, Jay. Why are you being so quiet about this?

Get it out, young man. I'm glad you guys asked. I hate that show so much, and Cat is so right, like, what are the, what is the show prep? They just go, go! Is that the pre-show being? Like, what was that? I didn't realize until cast started talking that that all happened on the air. I thought it was just like a behind-the-scenes disaster.

A blooper. Yeah, that was crazy. And we can disagree, Greg. You say cicada, I say cicada. We can disagree. But I feel like if the world ends, first of all, I'll have saved the exact correct amount of money. With all due respect, I hate the solar eclipse. I went from New York City to Rochester, New York this weekend to do a gig.

My flight got canceled. I forgot about the eclipse. And I looked it up. There's no other flights. The train is sold out for people going to see this eclipse. And people want to see the eclipse so bad. all the flights to Buffalo were sold out. Flights to Syracuse.

That's how bad people want to see the eclipse. They went to Syracuse. Yeah. That's how bad it was. And I was so annoyed by the whole thing and the world's not ending and it's not even that big a deal. And like I was in the greener.

I was on the show last week and I was talking to Tyrus backstage and he like stood up in front of this lamp and I was like, that's kind of it. You know, Cleveland finally had a good view of something. Yeah, yeah. What about poor Buffalo? Like people in Buffalo where it's like, it was a cloudy day.

Buffalo's like slogan should be so close. What's the charge? Have you ever been on the view? I have many. I think when was Barbara? Walters. Was she still on it back then? Yeah.

She was on it even after she died. I remember I was on the view and I just, I don't know what. whore, man-hor I was playing at a time in a movie he was promoting. And I remember I took off her shoe just as a joke, you know, to kind of do something. And her foot, I just like, ooh, that was a mistake. Oh, my God.

It was kind of, every toe had its own, you know. God rest her soul. Yes. Well, I don't know. I don't know who's dumber, to be honest. I don't know. It's a tough question. It's a close.

You know what? Whoopi, you know, she thought like either the Nazis thought the Jews were a race or were in a race. I'm not sure what she thought. And I thought, you know, this new one was sunny, pretty dumb. And then Joey Bihar and her own echo chamber, I'm going to say the dumbest, people who still watch the show. Yes. The whole audience clapped by the video.

Whoopi, though. She's funny, right? No. Oh, okay. I was trying to find some kind of redeeming thing to say about the view. You could see right through me. Well, at least Joy and Whoopie were fact-checking this time around. That was surprising, a pleasant one.

Yeah, it was. won't be seeing that again. All right. Out of time. Thank you, Rob Schneider. Charlie Arnold, Jamie Lissau, Katzip, our studio audience, Fox News, and I would dreamy, Trace Gallagher's Nest.

I love you. I love you. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon music app. It's Will Tain Country. Watch it live at noon Eastern Month. Sunday through Thursday at Fox News.com or on the Fox News YouTube channel.

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