Gutfeld! Monologues - Trump Cleans Up DC

Episode Date: August 16, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld!, Greg mocks Gavin Newsom for claiming its "liberation day" in California. Greg also points out the stark contrast between Trump cleaning up D.C. and the Democrats' constant inaction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. I haven't heard that kind of applause since my robe fell open at the funeral. Let's welcome tonight's guest. He looks like the guy at the hardware store who never buys anything.

Fox News contributor Tom Shaloo. He's the best thing to come from Canada since acid rain. Host of the Harland Highway podcast, The Great Harlan Williams. She's seen more tight ends than my hidden bathroom camera. Host of the Michelle Tofoya podcast, Michelle Tofoya. And she's a brand new mom at her jokes rarely bob. New York Times best selling author and Fox News contributor to him. All right, before we get to some news stories, let's do this.

Greg's Leftovers. It's Leftover. where I read the jokes we didn't use this week. And as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll cover Joe Mackey and raw chicken and send them to alligator alcatraz. So a Georgia TV station made a typo on the bottom of the screen. I didn't even have to do anything.

So they made a typo on the bottom of the screen while showing Atlanta quarterback Michael. Penix, Jr. I mean, you can laugh, but it's almost as bad as what recently happened over here at Fox News. How did that get mixed up? It doesn't even sound like Jesse Waters. Hillary Clinton admits she would nominate Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize if he helps end the war in Ukraine. On the condition, though, that she gets to place the medallion around his neck.

The percentage of U.S. adults who say they consume alcohol has fallen to 54%, the lowest in 90 years. But Gallup says the poll has a margin of error of plus or minus two Kamala Harris's. Concerned parents of incoming college freshmen are adding Narcan to back-to-school list this year, along with condoms and Plan B. Wow, condoms, Narcan, and Plan B. what Hunter Biden calls a value meal. An elephant in India ran toward a man who tried to take a selfie with the beast. Scientists say it's the first instance of Rosie O'Donnell going after a man. Too easy.

Too easy. Today is National Back to School Prep Day. While students are stocking up on school supplies, teachers spent the day shopping for birth control. Hey, I'm not the one screwing the students. United Airlines flight was canceled after a female passenger had diarrhea that destroyed a bathroom. In the airline business, that's what's known as

pulling a nadler. Evidently, passengers knew something was amiss when the captain illuminated the, please light a match sign. Brazilian models botched butt implants prevented her from sitting down for two weeks. After noticing the error, the doctor said, I've got bad news for you.

You better sit down. No wait. There's a lot of work for that one. The doctor in Arkansas lost his license after he was captured on video, prancing through his office naked and performing a sex act in front of female employees. Well, that's why I never became a doctor, said one man. Yeah, you're bad. You're all bad. You're all bad.

All right. People are now getting anal Botox shots to treat constipation in hemorrhoids. The good news is your butthole doesn't look a day over 30. The bad news is you can't tell if it's mad. That's my favorite so far. Angry butthole. Due to a rare condition, a woman's breast grew so huge she needed a wheelchair. I know. Worse, she's lactose intolerant.

It's a thinker. Or maybe not. Jeff Bezos wants Lauren Sanchez to be the next Bond girl. If it happens, it'll be the first time James Bond doesn't try to have sex with the Bond girl. She's on the right. The wife of a former Maroon 5 bassist has filed for divorce after accusing him of flirting with teenage fans. But let's be honest, it's not because he was texting teens. It was because he was a bassist in Maroon 5.

According to a new study, 12% of Americans find Sidney's American Eagle ad offensive. The other 88% are able to fit in jeans. Thank you. Taylor Swift announced she'll be teaming up for a song with Sabrina Carpenter. Critics say it's a 10 because that's what you get with two fives. They're actually not that bad looking. Finally, the Minnesota Vikings now have not one but two male cheerleaders. It was almost three, but it was one man's time of the month.

All right. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for MintMobil. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of Unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

A brunt payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. Seamintmobile.com. Monologue time. So while Trump cleans up D.C., the Dems keep spinning like a ballerina and a washing machine. I wonder if today is Liberation Day in the state of California.

Today is Liberation Day in the state of California. And as Senator Schiff said, as Senator Schiff said, Donald Trump, you have poked the bear. And we will punch back. We can't stand back and watch this obocracy. disappear. They want to rig these elections, and they want the power that gerrymandering provides because they know what Donald Trump knows. He's going to lose the midterms. You will have a president who will be running for a third term. Mark my word. I wasn't exaggerating when I said that I received in the mail at Trump 2028 hat. You got to meet fire

with fire. I mean, this is a break-the-glass moment for our democracy. Oh, my God. You know, this guy should really stick to doing what he does best, destroying California. and banging his friend's wives. Once again, back to the threat of democracy. But I get it. It's safer than saying we did nothing about the homeless dude who just crapped in your mailbox.

But what's this guy really for? He never points to a policy that people care about. When L.A. was burning, he faked being on the phone with Joe Biden. I'm literally talking to the president right now to specifically answer the question of what we can do for you and your daughter. Can I hear it?

Can I hear your call? Because I don't believe it. I'm sorry. I've tried five times. That's why I'm walking around to make the call. Why is the president not taking your call? Because it's not going through. He's like the worst, the worst host of cheaters.

I have his phone. And like most ends, he focuses on Trump instead of solving problems. What's insane, even when Trump is bad, it's still way better than they're good because Trump knows what works, what's necessary, and how to identify, and solve a problem. But Newsom deflects and says that Trump's going to run for a third term, another tired hypothetical, which isn't true, but it's easy. It's like when I used to tell my wife, I'll give you the moon and the stars, when I realized I forgot her birthday. So if the Dems know the problem, why don't they solve it? Are they allergic to work? It's like when they look at a problem, they see the effort and inconvenience involved in solving it, whereas Republicans see solutions, which makes the inconvenience and the effort worth it.

You want a perfect contrast? While GAV was blathering in downtown L.A. Right outside, ICE was picking up more illegals than Don Lemon at Home Depot. But speaking of poking the bear, here's this fat mess. To the pundits and the critics about what direction. the national Democratic Party needs to go, I say, take a look at Illinois Democrats. Winning elections is partly about messaging and strategy, but it's mostly about values and delivering on them. And our values are exactly where they ought to be. So it's time to stop

apologizing when we're not wrong. Yeah, their values are exactly where they ought to be, just like his third chin. I guess from now on, When he breaks a toilet, he blames the manufacturer. But he can only survive if he recites platitudes, hoping you forget that he designated Illinois a sanctuary city for trans surgeries on kids. From now on, J.B. should stand for a jolly butcher. Ooh. So there's a feeling about the Democrat Party that can't be denied.

They're bad. They blame innocent people for crimes of ancestry. They tell people their successes are oppressive because it's based on the backs of others. They brand people as bigoted if they resist. And all of it excuses these dirt bags from doing their jobs. What a contrast with Trump's clear decisive action in D.C.

Even CNN admits the crackdown is helping. This is one of the areas of focus that we have heard a lot of concerns about crime around Union Station, people who are loitering outside. I will tell you, as somebody who walks this route all the time, it does seem like there are fewer people just sort of hanging around.

True, it's been weak since he's seen any side of Geraldo. Don't give him any money to only encourage him. At DC's Union Station, a place lives constantly complain about being full of vagrants. Well, assholes, why do you think that happened? Because no one had the balls to do something about it until now. And not only that, the country gets it. Que the CNN numbers guy. I think this sort of gives the game away here because Donald Trump is like,

like Eric Jordan towering over Joe Biden when it comes to their handling a crime. Look, in 2024, look at where Biden's net approval was on crime. Way underwater there at minus 26 points. It was one of Biden's worst issues. Granted pretty much every issue was one of Biden's worst issues. And again, look at where Donald Trump is. Way, way, way above Joe Biden. What is that?

That's 27 points. So Americans vastly prefer Donald Trump's approach to crime than they did to Joe Biden's. And again, I think it gets back to the point that Americans are far more hawkish on crime than a lot of Democrats want to admit. Well, that's something you don't see on CNN, a guy with his head out of his ass. So Republicans are going to be really popular if they crack down on crime. And the Dems call that a trap. Trump does something great, and if they oppose it, they look terrible.

Well, who laid that trap? You, dumb, I don't. All you present is one idea. I'm not Trump, which doesn't work if and when Trump is working. Hating Trump doesn't stop him. It only helps him. But, hey, being a victim takes a lot less skill and ability than being a leader. And I guess he can't teach an old dog new tricks,

which is why Joy Behar can't roll over. You know? Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show. show and free on the Amazon music app. Hey, I'm Trey Gowdy host of the Trey Gatti podcast. I hope you will join me

every Tuesday and Thursday as we navigate life together and hopefully find ourselves a little bit better on the other side. Listen and follow now at Fox Newspodcast.com