Gutfeld! Monologues - Trump’s Alleged Assassin Gets an Apology

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld!, the U.S. sank six Iranian boats in a dramatic showdown.  Meanwhile, a D.C. judge has apologized to Trump’s would-be assassin, and Greg delivers a fiery response you won’t want to miss! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Sorry, ladies, I'm taken. Good evening, everyone. So today is Cinco de Mayo. Or as Kamala calls it, Vomitin Cinco Tonighto. The U.S.S. Navy sank six small Iranian boats, or as Iran reported it, thanks for the six new submarines.

Nancy Pelosi spoke at a college commencement speech where she reminded graduates, if they work hard and follow their dreams, they can soar as high as her eyebrows. A French man pulled a sedan with his penis to raise awareness for prostate cancer. Wow, was there anything Bridget McCrone can't do? All right.

A Secret Service agent is on leave after allegedly masturbating in front of guests at a Miami hotel. He apologized and said from now on he'd masturbate behind them. But is this why Trump keeps nearly getting killed? Think about it. You know, maybe they shouldn't have removed that question

from the application that asks, where do you see yourself masturbating in five years? All right, no more masturbation jokes. A police officer in Florida is being praised after spending nearly an hour convincing a man not to kill himself. It even better the man was able to get back in time, to do his late night show. A Texas water park has sparked backlash

by organizing a Muslim-only day. The most popular attraction, throwing gaze off Splash Mountain. And here's a look at last year's event. That's just bad. Bad, I say. Barack Obama confessed that President Trump has caused tension in his marriage.

No surprise, they've always been fighting over men. And finally, Eric Swalwell has been sending nude photos and videos to women on Snapchat. He even sent this disgusting dick pick. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. All right. So, a DC judge just apologized to Trump's wannabe assassin because his conditions in jail were too harsh. Cole Allen was arrested, charged, and placed in temporary. suicide watch in a padded cell. Pretty fair for a guy charged with trying to kill the sitting

president. But as Judge Zaya Faruqi complained, saying that some Jan 6 defendants were treated better. In fact, it was so inhumane to Cole, the judge said, at a minimum, I should be apologizing to him. We're obligated to make sure he's taken care of. Mr. Allen, I'm very troubled by what you've been subjected to. I'm sorry. Whatever you've been through, I apologize. So, the judge apologized. Not once, not twice, but three times. And not to a victim, not to the public, not even to the concept of law and order, which by the way has been on life support longer than CNN. Nope, he apologized to the guy with the shotgun and the knives. But this is where we are. A judge saying, hey, sorry this whole justice system thing is happening to you. My bad. Here I thought

judges are supposed to be neutral. That's the whole gig. You wear the robe. you keep your opinions to yourself, and you don't turn the courtroom into a support group for assassins anonymous. Alan's lawyers also said officials watching Alan in prison contributed to excessive restrictions on his liberty. Excessive restrictions on liberty, the guy's in jail. Sorry, there's no egg and spoon races or friendship bracelet making in jails. But this is the trend where the system has shifted from accountability to acceptance. and even encouragement of violence. This is our criminal justice system now.

Lefty prosecutors decline cases, judges minimize consequences, and if you're a victim, good luck. Maybe we'll get to you if you haven't bled to death or limped to a red state. And the media is just as bad. The LA Times romanticizing the DC shooter, calling his road to violence a journey from young athlete to accuse gunmen, during which he organized Bible discussions, as well as the fencing team and the Nerf Club.

Wow, sounds like the perfect guy to bring home to your parents right before he blows their heads off for supporting Trump. But these judges are the worst until you hear about the Democrat lawmakers. In New York, they're pushing bills that would let murderers get early parole after they've turned 55 and served 15 years, regardless of their crimes, freeing the worst ghouls like the John Lennon assassin and son of Sam. And it's already happening in California. So I'm wondering why such sympathy for the devil? Why the love for assassins, thugs, and murderers? It's not like the left is losing power.

They won elections in Seattle and New York, and they did so without violence. And when you look at the so-called assassins, they aren't desperate have-nots. The latest douchebag was from a good family, the same for the guy who wanted to kill Judge Kavanaugh. And of course, there's Luigi and the leftists who started the Palisides fires. These are not people living in squalor. These are people who decided their mission is to take out political oppression. opponents. And it's a role that is accepted, even admired by a large faction of the left. You can thank the narrative created by the media and Democrats in which Trump is seen as an

existential threat. And the only way to stop it is by removing him or anyone in his circle and by any means necessary. What you're seeing now is strategic, the removal of pieces from a chess board. And when the killer reads the room, he will enlist and then is elevated to hero status. So it's not just the killers who are responsible. It's the people like the judge who softened the horror. But who am I to judge? I'm normal. Listen ad free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts.

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