Gutfeld! Monologues - What Can We Say, Republicans Are Attractive

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg breaks down President Biden's "sleepy, bitter" farewell address, and shares an observation that many just can't deny: Republicans on Capitol Hill are...easier on the eyes than a lot of Democrats. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tucker Carlson said Ray Dalio is one of the world's smartest investors, but more important, he's likely the wisest. Make yourself read this book. That book is how countries go broke, the big cycle. In it, Dalio explains the mechanics behind big debt cycles, and what they mean for countries with big and increasing debts like the U.S. and what you should do to protect yourself. You can find it wherever books are sold,

or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Happy Thursday, everyone. Happy Thursday, everyone. During his farewell address, President Joe Biden seemed sleepy and bitter, as he mumbled for only 13 minutes. So who did he steal this speech from Ozzy Osbourne? Biden said, quote, Americans are being buried under misinformation, as opposed to Joe, who will soon be buried under six feet of fresh dirt. Biden claimed he created 17 million new jobs without mentioning that the pandemic wiped out 22 million, so under him we lost 5 million jobs. That's like saying I totaled your car, but I saved your floor mats.

He warned us of a dangerous concentration of power, which could interfere with his pacemaker. And added, it will take time to feel the full impact of all we've done together. Well, he knows full impact. Just ask a flight of stairs. Now, I'm not going to say he stunk up the place, but here was the pillow he was sitting on after the address. What? He had to have some of his way. chocolate. Meanwhile, nearly 200 paintings by Hunter Biden have been destroyed in the L.A. fires. Even people who lost their homes now say it was worth it. CNN has demoted Wolf Blitzer to a morning co-host role. Well, it was either that or changing

the newspaper in Bryant Stelter's cage. And finally, a New York City gym teacher is accused of sticking his penis into a Lysol container while standing in front of his class. I know. That is something you never expect to see in a New York City classroom. Lysol. All right. So yesterday was an ugly day in D.C. And if there was ever a beauty in the beast moment in the halls of Congress,

Pam Bondi's confirmation hearing was it. Bondi, hold on. Stop it. Bonnie, Donald Trump's nominee for AG, found herself facing the Swamps resident bug-eyed monster. Have a look if you dare. Are you aware of any factual basis to investigate Liz Cheney? Yes or no? Senator, that's a hypothetical, and I'm not going to answer that.

Also worried about Liz Cheney, Senator. You know what we should be worried about? Ms. Bonnie, please answer my questions. You are aware. You are aware. Senator, what I can tell you is I will never play politics. You're trying to engage me in a gotcha. I won't do it.

I won't play politics with any ongoing investigation, like you did, leaking your colleague, Devin Nunes' memo. I'm not going to mislead this body, nor you. You were censured by Congress, Senator, for comments just like this that are so reckless. Well, that was useful, but Adam's got a face only a mother could love. Norman Bates' mother. Because not only is this guy a lying bozo, he's also weird-looking. But aren't they all?

The Dems are the homeliest bunch since Kiss decided to take off their makeup. Now, consider the people they attack. When you look at Bondi, Heggzeth, Christy Noem, R.FK, Michael Cratio, Scott Turner, even John Radcliffe, three words come to mind. Vah, va, voam. Kelly Loeffler is a walking advertisement for herbal essence. Sean Duffy, you don't have nine kids by being a four. And it wasn't climate change that was making Chris Wright's protesters hot.

No, sirree. And when you hear women yelling Marco at the pool, it's not polo thereafter. Tulsi hasn't even shown up yet. right, woo. Then there's Doug Bergam, whose brooding sexiness is bringing couchocula back to the supermarkets. And what of Stephen Miller, huh? I know, I know. How is he hot? Well, check out his wife. Huh? See, he benefits from secondhand hotness. He just went from a three to a six. Stay right there. We'll be right back after this.

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Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast. Kennedy saves the world. It is five days a week, every week. Download and listen at Fox Newspodcast.com or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast. By comparison, the Dems seemed like a parade of slovenly before pictures. I mean, even the guy grilling Hegseth about drinking, he looked like, look at him. I mean, he looks like he just got into a boozy fight with a leaf blower. But if you hung out with Bill Clinton for 30 years, you'd look like that, too.

So why the difference? Well, the mind and body are one thing. How many of us feel crappy mentally when we treat our bodies poorly, when we don't work out, or we eat bad food, or we take a pill handed to you by Larry Kudlow outside a Tijuana brothel. And conversely, how many of us feel physically sick when we treat our minds badly, filling it with defeatist beliefs, victim mentality, or one of Jesse's books. You cannot embrace victimhood and still look hot. I mean, imagine me whining with this jawline. But if your soul is rotten, your teeth will follow.

Truth is, conservatives think there are things worth protecting, and that starts with taking care of how they look and feel. But leftism is about denigrating standards so that we're all one big blob a steaming hippo. And so we get plus-size cover girls, prom queens with beards, and paintings that look like my bathroom wall the last time I ate Taco Bell. In fact, Ugly is rewarded by Democrats who view sex appeal. as hot privilege. Take San Diego State University, where students are told that fat phobia is rooted in racism, misogyny, homophobia, and other oppression, and calls on students to champion fat bodies. Yeah, right, because it's the bigots who are forcing the oppressed to deep throat a ding-dong. Is that possible? The Post urges students to read books by fat liberationists. And what I

What are those books for whom the dinner bell tolls? The Great Fatsby? The Count of Monte Cristo. The Lord of the Onion Rings. You know, I'll wait for the movie. There's probably a love scene at Golden Corral. So listen, San Diego. If you're fat and queer or fat whatever,

you'll feel a hell of a lot better if you'll work on what God gave you. A body, which includes your mind. Hell, have even more pride parades. pride parades, but walk it this time instead of being the float. And I get it. It's harder to be fit. So labeling anyone a bigot means you don't have to work out. Hell, it worked for this sack of donuts. But it's not about weight. It's the victim mindset. You lose that and the pounds come off. That's a message those San Diego students never hear.

Instead, the left limits your aspirations by putting you in the boxes of race, gender, and sexual orientation. It's why your once cute niece came home at Christmas break with a shaved head in hairy pits. Her fresh-faced beauty had to be ruined for it's a reminder of patriarchal aspirations. So I'm not saying all Democrats are unattractive. Some of their women are attractive, even the ones with d-de-hs. But the truth is, being ugly inside can make you ugly out. And when you compare the parties, just no contest. Christine Nome compared to Alejandro Majorcas?

I mean, let's just say shooting a dog in the head wouldn't be a deal breaker. And I have to repeat two words. Pete Hagseth. He's like Brad Pitt with more kids. Now who in DC is going to look better than that guy? Obviously no one since I called off my Senate run. Let's welcome Listen ad free

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