Gutfeld! Monologues - Why Condemning Socialism Won't Save the Democrats

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld! Greg talks about how eight Democrats are joining the GOP to denounce socialism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I expected more. Good evening, everyone. So the Supreme Court ruled five to four to let construction continue on Trump's White House ballroom project. Wow. But to appease Democrats, they also approved construction

of the Joe Biden Memorial Ramp. Actress Sidney Sweeney strapped herself to the wing of a biplane and completed barrel rolls, loops, and upside-down flips. Finally, giving millions of men a good excuse to say, I wasn't just looking at your tits. The announcer of Wheel of Fortune was suspended for an incident on a plane.

No one knows what that incident was, but we can only ponder what he was doing. I don't get it. Like to buy a vowel? Yeah. So it turns out that Joe Biden will be attending the 9-11 Memorial Service at Ground Zero. Apparently, he was just waiting for someone to tell him when it would be. On this day in 1969, the first ATM was used in New York City, adding yet another spot for drunk men to pee. Legendary golfer Tiger Woods appeared in court today.

Not on purpose. He's just banging the stenographer. There's no reason for that joke. According to a lawsuit, hockey player Ivan Zinchenko was hit in the head by a puck so hard that he can no longer have sex with his wife. It was the first time in recorded history that a married couple didn't have sex because he had a headache. According to a new study, cooking and cleaning can unleash trillions of harmful airborne nanoparticles. Well, at least that won't be a problem for men. A sexist would say. I know. Terrible, right?

Finally, Bill Clinton held a star-studded 80th birthday party at Alex Soros' Hampton's mansion. That's 80 candles. And for once, Bill had to be the one doing all the blowing. I don't get it. These shows go way over my head. Well, yeah. We'll be back with more Gutfeld. So on Tuesday, stop it, monologue time.

So on Tuesday, the House just voted to condemn socialism and the DSA's policy positions with eight Democrats joining Republicans. It's the most bipartisan vote since the resolution that banned the squad. from shaving at their desk. This after four House Dems introduced their own resolution condemning the DSA. And I got to say, it's nice to see that a few Dems are finally growing a pair. Or perhaps they realize that this crap won't fly with a national audience.

So they want to nip the DSA monster in the bud before 2028. So it appears to me that Democrats are trying to get ahead of the mess before it's too late. It reminds me of my staff throwing up their breakfast before their weekly weigh-in. But here's the problem. You can't just say you're not a socialist. You have to show us you're not.

Because for years, Democrats have played the same game. I'm not anti-Semitic. I'm not anti-West. I'm not anti-police. But I can see why other people are. And we should just accept them into our big tent. But that's like saying, I'm not a racist, but yes, I've had the KKK over my house regularly for barbecues.

By the way, Tom, Kolslaw was great. Anyway, he's not just a grand dragon. He's a great dragon. But if they're going to push back against the DSA, they have to put an end to the woke BS that seems harder to eradicate than the flies buzzer around Jerry Nadler's pants. Take this week's opening

at the Democrat Party's nominating convention in Michigan. All for our land acknowledgments. Our land acknowledgments in Michigan recognize the state as the ancestral traditional and contemporary land of the Ashinawif, three fighters' Confederacy. Including, say it in hand for me. Stand up. You're doing better than me. Ishanabe?

Ashinaabe. Thank you. Wait, don't sit down yet. That's right. Including the Odawa, Ottawa, Ottawa, Ojibuay, Chippewa, and... Oh, man. You know, it's times like these when you're really need an authentic Native American. That lady was impressive. She's illiterate in both English and Navajo. It was so bad the sign language interpreter just did five minutes of tomahawk chops.

So good luck trying to change, Democrats, because until you make a clean break, you're just smearing spackle over the same rotten worldview. And each time that rot gets a little harder to hide. Even the Michigan Democratic Attorney General Dana Nessel told Jewish voters that they should put the needs of the world ahead of the future of their own people. A pretty remarkable thing to tell people whose future historically is often under threat eradication. But for socialists, the only thing they produce is power. Everything else is secondary.

But that's why the resolution needs more teeth, because they're not just fighting the DSA. They're trying to distance themselves from a political culture that they helped create. It's like my uncle Carl used to say, don't raise crocodiles if you swim in a speedo made of ham. But it's what Democrats have been doing for years. I'm not anti-police, but I understand why people want to defund them. I'm not a socialist, but capitalism is oppressive.

I'm not anti-Semitic. I just like tiny mustaches. You can't have it both ways. If you really want to convince me that the old-school Dems are back, tell us what you really believe, as a contrast to what they believe. Call Hamas Evil for October 6th. 7th. Say prisons actually work. Reject Sharia law. Embrace free markets. Admit that borders are a good idea. Promise that new ladies' rooms won't need urinals. And stop wiping your ass with the Constitution.

When you can use Jess's book instead. It's time to show how the DSA has crossed the line, which is tough if you really never drew one in the first place. on Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Prime members can listen to this show and free on the Amazon Music app.