Gutfeld! Monologues - Why Couric Went To Great Pains To Insult MAGA Brains

Episode Date: April 20, 2024

As seen on Gutfeld!, Host of The FOX True Crime Podcast Emily Compagno, Comedian Joe DeVito, FOX News Contributor Kat Timpf, and FOX News Contributor Tyrus, discuss why Katie Couric after years of pretending to be an unbiased journalist is now showing her true colors. Plus, Greg gives his thoughts on why former President Trump may not be getting a fair shake in a Manhattan court. Follow Greg on Twitter: @GregGutfeld Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or read a five-minute summary of the book at economic principles.org. Yes, happy Tuesday, everyone. All right, all right, all right. So during a meeting with Iraq's prime minister, President Biden's crib sheet was caught on camera. which included directions to pause. Here's another one that simply said, if lost, go to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. And here's another one.

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Needless to say, the research was conducted by an expert. All right, to the monologue. So according to legal expert, Jonathan Turley, Trump's on trial for allegedly falsifying business records related to payments to porn star, stormy Daniels. Turley added that it's a misdemeanor and the statute of limitations ran out. Somehow, none of that matters in New York City, where guys who randomly punch kids are given a pat on the back and a key to the city. But when it comes to porn star payments, you'd better keep records more detailed than a CVS receipt. But first up, what's up with hush money? You're not supposed to talk about sleeping with a porn star? If that were me, I wouldn't shut up about it. My friends would be like, yes, we know, Greg.

Then Stormy tied you down and spanked you unconscious with a pickleball racket. How many times are you going to tell us? Me sleeping with adult film stars, I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. And neither would they. But they should. They should shut up. That's the deal when you charge for sex. You break that time-honored pledge, and you soil what is otherwise a noble profession that gave us Matahari

Heidi Fleiss and Eleanor Roosevelt. I might be wrong on that one. Anywho, Trump's not happy. As you know, my son is graduated from high school, and it looks like the judge will not let me go through the graduation of my son who's worked very, very hard. He's a great student. He's very proud of him back that he did so well.

I was looking forward for years to have graduation. with his mother and father there. It looks like the judges are going to allow me to escape this scam. It's a scam trial. I haven't seen him this ticked off since I rejected his offer to be the spokesman for Trump's steaks. What can I say? I'm a dedicated vegan.

Closest I come nowadays to putting meat in my mouth is when I do downward facing dog in my nude yoga class. Of course, in their zeal to destroy Trump, DEMS are doing him a favor again. For one thing, high school graduations are boring. You sit there for hours on a hot, sweaty auditorium and listen to a bunch of names of strangers' kids just to see 20 seconds when the only important one

is getting his diploma. If you're lucky, the kid in the wheelchair might pop a wheelie. What's wrong? And it's not like it's hard to get a high school degree. Everyone has one except Greta Thunberg. It's a high school diploma for Christ. It's like an Adderall prescription. At that age, everyone gets one.

Plus, it's just stressful being around all those seniors. How many times can I repeat call me when you're 18? But maybe I'm just resentful because nobody cared when I graduated from cosmetology school. I was class valedictory and received the Vidal Sassoon Award for outstanding achievement and hair treatment. I came up with the first pubic hair straightener for inmates. It was called haired straight. But if Trump wants to go to his son's graduation, he should. Graduations are like losing your virginity. It only happens a few times. And trying to stop him is the biggest favor that Dems can do for him. They'll give him martyr status. He's already like Jesus and that he's the only one who could raise Joe Biden.

from the dead. Just imagine if Trump blows off a day of this dumb trial to watch his son graduate and the cops show up and arrest him. You want bad optics? It'll look worse than the time Jesse wore leggings to sexual harassment training. Sure, the libs in every newsroom will cheer. John Stewart will joke about it on the Daily Show, or TDS, as I like to call it. How did he swing that gig anyway? Like Chris Christie's personal trainer, this guy only works one day a week. And those clucking hands on the view will high-five each other so hard. Joy will break both her wrists and have to eat her hay and oats bent over a trough. But the rest of America, the actual voters, they all got to go to their children's graduations or hope to one day.

They'll see the injustice and they will go nuts. So if you're watching President Trump, just go to the graduation. You know, I bet some Brit will steal that line. If you're watching President Trump, just go to the graduation. Every parent in America, whether they like you or hate you, will go, yeah, I'd have done that too. Because this case is utterly ridiculous. Why would you not think that what you're doing here is going to almost guarantee Donald Trump wins the next election? The only thing that could absolutely guarantee is if he's found guilty and put in a prison cell.

Because at that moment, Trump wins by a landslide. For once, a Brit is right about something. Well, it's easy when you're competing with Prince Harry, the telitubbies, and Mr. Bean. But once again, Turley said it best. Everything about this case is, in my view, legally absurd. You know, this case is basically a state misdemeanor that had run out on the statute of limitations. They took a dead misdemeanor and bootstrapped it into effectively trying a federal crime. But the federal crime here under election law was rejected by the Department of Justice.

They didn't feel that this should be charged. He's got great eyebrows. Anyway, he's right. It's lawfare. They can't beat Trump politically because so far he's defied all the laws of politics. So they've decided to defy all the laws. Alvin Bragg is like OJ, except slower, fatter, and more alive. They're twisting the law like a balloon animal with scoliosis to prevent a second. Trump term and they could very well end up bringing it about. On the first day, over half the jurors were

nixed after saying they couldn't be impartial. No, the city is bluer than a smirfs balls after sitting on an ice blob. So it's not within the court that matters where the evidence is key. It's what's outside the courtroom where the pressure to crush Trump matters more. Bottom line, the Dems hate Trump so much that they're willing to destroy the legal system. And now they're on the verge of of cementing their own worst nightmare. Another Trump term. And this time he'll be older, wiser, and hopefully less horny. All right.

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She wears tons of makeup and can't sing. New York Times best-telling author and Foxx's contributor, Katto. And his doctor uses a surfboard as a tongue depressor. New York Times best-selling author, comedian, and format a video of you guys. She once delivered the news, but still holds stupid views. Katie Couric brings us our video of the day. Here she is on Pilmar's podcast, slamming Trump voters, calling them anti-intellectual role at Doris.

I feel like, to your point, Bill, that socioeconomic disparities are a lot, and class resentment is a lot what anti-intellectualism and elitism is what is what is. is driving many of these anti-establishment, which are Trump voters, are anti-establishment voters. So I think that is a huge problem that we have to address. Oh, honey, I shrunk the currick. Totally. Like this little munchkin living in a tree like a Keebler elf. But what she meant to say was MAGA voters are stupid,

you know, as opposed to the cerebral thinkers behind the today's show. And you thought Matt Lauer was NBC's biggest embarrassment. At least he had the decency to leave the airwaves. Granted, though, it would have been nice if he put his pants on first. But that's the difference between regular people and the liberals in a bubble. It took her 50 words to call people dumb, which you could have just said two. Oh, I know. Sorry, Katie. Intellectuals in the last five years have given us COVID, COVID lockdowns, vaccines that don't work, spending that they didn't think would cause inflation, and dudes in women's locker rooms. So fine, call us anti-intellectual. We'll consider the source. I can see why televising her

colonoscopy was her career highlight. That asshole has more credibility than this one. Joe, do you think she was disconference? by the terms anti-intellectual and anti-establishment. She was all free, everything was just all screwed up in there. I think she was confused by that Bill Maher chair that seems to have a conveyor belt on it because everyone was on his show,

you just watch them slowly starting until it's just a head on a cushion. It's like, how relaxed do they get on Club Random where it's like, yeah, yeah, like look at that. Completely in an iron lung. Who was the one, Richard Dreyfus, remember? He slid all the way down to the floor. He slid out of the studio into the parking.

Yeah. This is, yeah, I think people might be resentful if you paid your bills, worked hard, and saved your money, and then someone from a rich family said, you have to pay their debts. I could see how people might be resentful about that, because you don't see the people saying, well, my point is, if you're so smart and so elite, why did you take out student loans you can't pay? I can't get past that because the people that she's insulting are the plumbers, the electricians, the truck drivers, the people who make this society work. So that people like Kirk can say, well, we live in a technology-driven society now. Well, when the power goes out, what is the technology-driven society going to be doing? I know what I'm going to be doing. I'm going to be begging an electrician, help me out.

If I have a liberal arts degree in soft hands, I'm useless. That you are. You know, Kat, whenever I see this, it reminds me that, like, the media, the people in the media have a blind spot, and everything they miss has to do with that blind spot. It's their ego. It's like their ego is in the way of everything. So she has to be right, and those millions of people are stupid. Right, and you and I have no ego.

I am very good. Every morning I wake up and I let go of my ego. Yeah, especially you. A little joke, remember, let go my ego. Nice. Thanks. She's too young to know what that man. I get up every morning and I let go to my ego.

Born late. Yeah, I know. You know, I'm going to keep saying it until somebody claps. Go. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's exactly what someone would do with they had no ego. But she can't understand, Kat, why millions of people don't agree with her.

And I think she's complimenting herself. She's like, I'm smart, they're stupid. But honestly, I think that a lot of the support for Trump comes from people saying stuff like that. A lot of people are tired of people who have way more money than them, way easier. lives of them in so many ways, fame, all these things saying how they're supposed to vote and how they're supposed to think. And that if they see something differently, then that's because they're stupid. If you actually wanted to know, you could talk to these people, you could read things these people right. This is a lazy answer. I guess it does make you feel better.

All you have to do is just vote for the other person and all of a sudden you're a smart person and you're so much better than all these other people. The harsh reality is there's a lot of stupid people on both sides. That is true. Send your letters to Kat Timp. I'm kidding. Stupidity transcends politics. I know.

I know. Clap for me, not for her. Clap for me, not for her. Hey, Tyrus. Do you know that Pierce made a great point today on the five. Piers Morgan made a great point. He said that it was, he said, it's so funny seeing her talk about people being resentful when she wrote this memoir where she crapped on every female in the

business. She was like that's so bitter. Gee, I wonder why. How's her new show doing? Yeah. I think it's gone. Is it? Yeah. Listen, all she did was she described the Democratic Party. That's because that's the only interaction she has. Like she said, I've talked to five mega voters and oh, we're in trouble. Okay? And she actually did the work and she drew her opinion based on interviews or she didn't do any of that she sat at bills had a little too much to drink and started saying some dumb stuff and tried to invent words yeah and then apparently thought she was some form of leadership because we got to address that who like katy kirk calls you up hey tyrus need to talk to you about your click who gives a damn you know what i'm saying like

they they always tell on themselves i'm so out of touch so i'll trash my own party and blame it on the other party. Because the reason why most Americans like Trump is because they look at Trump and they go, here's a guy who did it his way, did it at high level, and I dig that. And I want to be like that. So I'm going to strive to do this. His dad gave him a million dollars. Okay, cool-ass dad. Apparently it runs in his family. And he took that and he made it into something bigger, which is every person here who's like, look, I bought my first small business. I had one little shop. I had one little oven to make my pizzas. Now I have a pizza dynasty. Everyone kind of looks at that thing. Before he got into politics,

President Trump went on movies as Trump. You know how over you have to be to when you're in a movie as yourself? Yeah. And everyone knows who you are. So if he would have ran Democrat, they would have been talking about how awesome he is. Because remember, these are all people

who were wanting to be buddies and friends with him and wanted his money. Katie's career, she's probably mad she didn't get into politics, but she's not getting attention. Trump did it, and everyone else is crying over spilled milk. You know, Emily, She was once America's sweetheart. Maybe you are next in line as America's sweetheart.

Well, I don't know whether to take that as a compliment. Just say something, for God's sake. You're wearing me out. Thanks so much. So I have so many feelings about this. The tragedy to me is that it's not hard to find the reason why people are support Trump. So when you talk about the blind spot, which you're absolutely right, that the media holds dear and that the Democrat Party has, why do people support? I don't know. It's so easy.

It is so easy to find with everyone with over half of America that says my life was better under him and here's why. Or he fights for people like me, the number one answer out of the Iowa exit polls. It is so easy. He fights for people like me because people like that are telling everyone else who they are and what they stand for and how they should vote and what they are valued at, which is nothing. She represents the media in its perfect form, which is no matter what you do, you will never be good

enough. You will never be smart enough. You will be never, you will never be valued enough until you serve in the military and die for this country so those can have a say. That is what those people represent, and that is why Trump will win in November. All right. Out of top. Thanks, thank you.

Thank you, Matt, Timmy, Tom, Timmyton, Tyrus, on studio audience. America. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show, ad-free on the Amazon Music app. From the Fox News Podcasts Network. Hey there, it's me, Kennedy, make sure to check out my podcast. Kennedy saves the world. It is five days a week, every week.

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