Gutfeld! Monologues - Young Men Seek Jesus

Episode Date: April 18, 2026

As seen on Gutfeld! Gutfeld goes over his leftover jokes of the week in "Greg's Leftovers". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have over you. Let's welcome tonight's guest. He grew a beard, so security guards at the mall wouldn't keep asking him where his mom is. Host of the Guy Benson show, Guy Benson. She's got more spirit than a Ouija board. She probably doesn't even know what a Ouija board is. Political commentator Deborah Leia. Looks like the guy who still writes letters to the local paper.

Comedian and founder of Western Razor David Angelou. And after six months ago, she's now able to open the door. New York Times bestselling all the Earth Fongsteros gets driven her cat too. Okay, before we get to some news stories, let's do this. Greg's leftovers. Leftovers.

It's leftovers. Where I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time reading them. So if they suck, we'll dress Joe Mackey up as a geisha and send him to Eric Swalwell. No one wins on that one. President Trump announced that the Strait of Hormuz is completely open. Wow.

However, Eric Swalwell still remains a no-open fly zone. Meanwhile, the U.K. and France continue to refuse the U.S. use of their military bases. I know. And today, Ireland denied the U.S. permission to use the airspace above Rosie O'Donnell. Miles. Earlier, the U.S. Navy had forced 13 ships to reverse course, with a warning. to turn around or be boarded. Coincidentally, it's the same thing Don Lemon says in a men's room. Bastards. You sick bastards. Now, last week, if you remember, Iran's Revolutionary Guard proudly

showed off the wreckage of the U.S. F-15 they shot down, calling it the most advanced jet in their fleet. Well, it appears women are getting boob jobs from injectable filler made from donated cadaver fat. It's good to know Joe Biden will be in a better place. In an interview, Star Wars actor Mark Hamill said of his Luke Skywalker character,

if you want him to be gay, he is. Which explains why Chubacca started waxing his ass. Just his ass, though. According to biologists, natural selection favors redheads. The news came as a shock to one redhead who's never been selected.

We'll be back with more Gutfeld. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you,

please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. A Chinese automaker has submitted a patent for an onboard toilet you can use while driving. Here's a look at the patent. Former porn star, Asia Carrera, has reportedly passed the bar and will become a lawyer. But to avoid public scorn, she'll keep telling people she's a porn star. Lauren Bobart is working on a bill to strip Eric Swalwell's pension.

Meanwhile, another bill. is working on getting Bobert to strip. Festival goers at Coachella experienced a massive dust storm. It calmed down, though, once Jane Fonda closed her legs. She's a traitor. Friker. UK legal advisors are telling illegal migrants to claim they are gay to be granted asylum.

The easiest way to do this, they were told, is to tell a judge that they like soccer. A massive asteroid slammed into the North Sea, triggering a 330-foot-high tsunami. I'm sorry, actually, this guy just fell off a boat. More and more smart toilets are coming with health trackers that can analyze poop and urine. Big deal. I've been doing that for years with a camera in my guest bathroom. And finally, Disney laid off 1,000 employees this week. I know. It's gotten so bad.

Chip and Dale have permanently moved into Richard Geer's ass. Is that necessary? You know, if you stop laughing, I'd stop laughing. I'd still. stop doing them. All right. So did you know that more young dudes are turning to God? True, the devil is having a harder time recruiting than Iran's Navy. A new poll finds 42% of men, 18 to 29, say religion is very important in their lives. And for once, they aren't saying that to get laid.

As you can see this from this high-tech graph that took seven people to put together, that is a sharp increase from a few years ago. Even God is saying, holy crap. After years of religious decline, it's coming back faster than Haitians to a cat shelter. So why is this happening? Well, I think it's a reaction against identity politics, a construct that's antithetical to human connection. Instead of being angry about hundreds of years-old grievances, you're grateful for a 2,000-year-old sacrifice. Identity politics stresses differences over similarities by making your own status more important.

and then the world around you. In the old days, of course, we used to call that being Geraldo. Of course, this precious recognition brings an ephemeral rush of attention, but afterward, you're left empty, anxious, and without purpose. It's a lot like how I feel after a lap dance. Identity politics is a failed operating system for navigating the outside world,

which requires seeking commonalities. It erases a curiosity for the mysteries of the world. Like, why are we here? and how does Jesse Waters have a show? Did we displease you, Lord? So you replace inquisitiveness with arrogance as the answer for everything resides in angrily saying who you say you are.

And then you demand that we obey, which is even more absurd when you're a man making these demands while wearing a dress and a gold medal in women swimming with a tampon string hanging out of your ass. So the world becomes a hierarchy, of warring clans, vying for supremacy. It's the hunger gang games for morons.

With no sense of the real world, you annoy everyone, and you end up alone, just you, your cats, and your collection of ointments. But this religious resurgence is also a reaction to the worst year in modern times, 2020, which gave us COVID lockdowns, BLM, Antifa, the George Floyd hysteria, and, of course, Joe Biden. Hell to survive. Even I began pretending I was black.

Yeah, no black face there, trust me. We are still emerging from this fog of feeling, and those who bought into it now feel emptier than Hunter Biden's savings account. So it's only natural to look for help to navigate out of it. That's where religion comes in. It teaches you that your actions matter, that there's something bigger out there, and a higher purpose never comes by going along with the crowd.

Maybe more young men are seeking a higher power, not because they're being pulled to the right, but because they're human. After all, hoping beats moping. Listen ad-free with a Fox News podcast plus subscription on Apple Podcasts. And Amazon Prime members can listen to this show ad-free on the Amazon Music app.