Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 106 - Fart Guys with Demi Lardner

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

We had the insanely funny Demi Lardner on to talk about Fart Guys. We circle the globe to find guys that love to fart and talk about farts. We meet two up and coming farting superstars, and then we checked in with the folks that love farts sexually You can find Demi on Big Soft Titty.PNG and she is on bsky https://bsky.app/profile/demilardner.bsky.social shis is the best! There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST and I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201    

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian and I am here with Mr. Farts, Chris James. Hi, Chris. That doesn't seem like an insult from the first show of 2025. New Leaf. What's going on? This is the first show we've recorded in 2025. So we're turning very, very confusing and just dating as it comes out February, Very confusing and just dating us. It comes out February 8 significantly people Like I think that was probably alarming to people like well, I knew that they were towards the head but good lord Uh, oh, oh, yeah farts episode. So I guess you're gonna be hitting that one even more than usual That one because it was next to the farts

No, I don't need to hit that I have plenty of guys farting and I don't usually tailor an episode to the farts one. No, I don't need to hit that. I have plenty of guys farting and I don't usually tailor an episode to the guest. Very famously hate it when people ask to do specific episodes, unless it's Libby because she brings research. I brought on Demi Larner from bigsoftkitty.png to talk about fart guys.

Hi Demi. What is it about me? I don't know. You just talk about pooping on your show. Yeah. Yeah, I really can't this the shitting is a is becoming something else. It's becoming a problem. I think not like them talking about it too much. The shitting itself is not becoming a problem. Well, the shitting itself is no you know what? It's always been the same. but I think the people's reaction to it is telling me that it may be something I need to address. You don't want to become known as somebody who takes huge shits.

I was going to say it's the size, right? That they're referring to. Well, I think that and it's not just in reference to the difference between my size and the size of the shit. I think that very small women often take gigantic shits. I I'm pretty sure that's true. One of the things, you know, it's funny. You bring that up when I worked at Chuck E cheese, uh, that like,

didn't know that I'm so excited. So I worked at Chuck E cheese and all of the people that work there. That's where I learned like the women's restroom is so much worse than the men's like mess wise. Although part of that is because they don't count all the piss on the floor and the bedroom is a mess. You know what I mean? Yes, that's what sometimes and sorry, and this is gross. And also maybe it's a hacky thing to say. I don't understand how women are getting pissed everywhere because sometimes you go into the bathroom and I'm like, dude, the pussy's on the bottom.

I don't see how you're getting that anywhere else. Sorry, where'd you say it is? It's on the back bottom bit. It's on there. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think I yeah, that yeah, that's right. A lot of people are going to think, Hey, this is going to be about fart fetish

guys. And that is partly going to come up way later in the show. I only did a little bit. This is about fart guys, guys that love farts. So I thought I'd go to r slash farts. How do you know that they're just that they don't make any like reference to sexual things you're saying they're more No, these guys don't. We will get fetish guys. I promise I have some fetish guys coming later. I mean, there's a chance that some of these guys are fetish guys, but they're not posting about it in a fetish kind of way.

So you're- Not these guys. You're voting for these guys. I go to r slash farts that says, quick question not to- I mean, quick question to all members. What got you into farts? Not judging, just curious. I mean, so I feel like it's something that you're kind of born into. Yeah, you're born into loving farts. I just know as somebody who has a baby, I just know that he thinks they're really funny and he's

as young as they come as far as he's not even he's not even one he's zero. Okay. Let me explain the youngest you can be. He loves farts. He in fact he's kind of over them a little bit like he used to love them and now he's like 10 months and he's like that's not the best thing in the world anymore. I think that once you get to adult life if you start like really loving f farts like a lot, like thinking they're super fun. Like when I was 18, 19 and me and Katie first started dating, I would fart right in her face. And she was like, I do not like that. Please do not do that anymore. Very early on. So I haven't farted in her face since that day. That's so disgusting. What in what like, and then I stopped liking farts from that day on. I was like, well, what's the point even? So where would you

write in it? Can you, can you give us like sort of a, an explanation as far as how that would happen? Like was she just sitting down in the ground and sitting on the couch and then I get up and cross in front of her and act like I'm picking something off the coffee table and just blast a fart right at her. And she's like, I don't like that. Don't do that anymore. And she, yeah, that's fair. Like I agree. It's not something you want. You're like intimate partner to be doing. It's not like super sexy or whatever. You have to be doing. It's not like super sexy or whatever. You have to be, I don't think I'd even do that to a pig. I didn't know. It's a bit partner of less than one year. Maybe I'm really comfortable married couple. Who's it like, you know what I mean? It's

like, I would never personally, but I could see it, but yeah, doing it early on in a relationship. So early. Because I remember the apartment we lived in and it was my first apartment in my whole life. Yeah. Like it was the one where we smoked in the bedroom. We had all that. It was just a mess. When we only smoked in my bedroom and I didn't make the bed and I had whole Mountain Dew bottles full of cigarette butts and I taped pizza boxes to the window one night because I was tripping on acid and they didn't block out enough of the sun so I

pulled the doors off of the sliding closet and pushed them in front of it so this room was a disaster and left them there after that night oh yeah yeah yeah once something was moved in that room it was moved that's it yeah so anyway like I used to moved in that room, it was moved. That's it. Yeah. So anyway, like I used to do that and I thought it was so funny. And I gotta be like, oh, when sports not funny. One time I accidentally farted on a partner and I thought it was extremely funny, but it was an accident. And it was also in a really fucked up apartment that I lived in because we moved into this place because it was insanely cheap.

There was no fire escape. There were a billion fire hazards. There was already for some reason a turtle living in my room. And I was like, and they were like, oh yeah, they didn't take that turtle. And I was like, well, I don't want another turtle. I was also bringing my turtle. So we had to get rid of that. That's fucked up because they're who knows there might not get along. Exactly.

And then this apartment was like, oh yeah, it's already furnished. The furniture was disgusting. The housemate we were moving into just kept leaving a full fish on the stove all day. And it was and then he stole every single pair of my underwear. And that's when I moved out. Not when the Italian guy moved in and hid his mother in his room. There's Italian guy with his Italian mother there? There was one guy who was Korean who was like,

''Hey, someone's gone on with the laundry.'' He had clearly stolen all of my underwear. Then there was Italian guy who moved into the other room. And one day I was like walking into the bathroom and this very old Italian woman in like a towel, you know, woman style towel. And her head wrapped up was like, oh, scoozie. I mean, it is very small room. Yeah, I was like a ghost or his mom mom or maybe a older lady was making love to.

Oh, I don't think so. His room was only big enough for a bed and then a window sill. So I think it was his mother who was like sleeping under the bed, I guess on a trundle. And I want I want to make sure I'm clear about this By the way on our farts they say one no nudity or fart fetish posts. So you're not even allowed to do it there It's against the rules. I see but yeah, I would say I feel like some of the fart fetish people are going in there Which is whatever it would matter against the spirit of our slash farts It doesn't matter, but I think some of them are in there lurking and looking at some of the posts and potentially getting horny for it. But yeah, there is as long as

they're keeping the posts off of there, then it's a, it's a clean area for us to go into. Can I also say that Chris had this on the wrestling episode where he said, uh, they have two things that they have to declare. One is that it's not gay and one that it's fake. They also have to do this. So the first reply to this question is I'm not quote into them in a fetish way. I just think they're hilarious. Yeah. It was like same. So you've always have to say like, first of all, I'm not jacking off to this. Okay. Of course, because like for an adult to be super into farts, that is the assumption that they're into it in a fetish kind of way because it is such a childish thing. Like whatever

farts are kind of funny in like a context. I know Brian, they aren't ever, but like they can because they're inappropriate or whatever. Like, and so they can be funny in context. But I think when you're the funniest possible thing you can ever do in your entire life. And it's so good. And I love it so much. That's fun. That's a really cool attitude to have. And it does. Yeah. It seems like not plausible to me. It's way more plausible that you're horny for them. You know what I mean? Well, this person, Ruby Moon, says they don't arouse me, but they make me laugh a lot. And if I fart and a person with me doesn't laugh, I actually feel genuine sadness and disappointment.

And as an addendum, me laughing is one of the horniest things I can do. Yeah, that's right. That's what gets me off. Yeah, fucking I really I really do think they're extremely funny. Like whenever Tom I sometimes Tom will like wake himself up. Tom is my husband. He'll wake himself up by farting. And then I will downstairs be like, ha ha ha ha ha.

And he'll be like, and then he will go like, what? Because he doesn't realize the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hey, through and his day and age, we ought to laugh more than ever. And finally, fart master says, my dad, he's the king of farts and had a huge reputation for farting. I am walking around town and the towns folks are whispering to each other. That's the guy that farts. Oh, it's too guy that farts. There he is. Oh, it's Choco behind that guy. He had a huge reputation for farting.

I inherited that sense of humor and become a bit like him. I don't stink as much. Okay. I think that's how it works. You don't realize. But I fart in public. That's because it's coming from your butthole dude and your Use so is your nose you did But I fart in public and can't be friends with guys that I can't fart in front of and that won't fart I'm pretty sure most fart humor is passed down from fathers or brothers

Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah. I think that's probably true. It's a, I don't have any brothers, but I did have a dad who would call me up to fart and then hang up. So that's very funny. Really cool. I think. Yeah. You're, I mean, I've just seen like a video clip of your dad. Very funny. It seemed funny. Um, but it, I think it, so they're saying though that it's that women, I think it is mainly a male thing, but I mean, definitely, I mean, Demi loves farts. And I think there are women who are into farts, definitely. So it could be like Demi, if you have a kid,

you might pass it on, you know what I mean? I mean, I probably would. Like it's, if it's a kid, you might pass it on. You know what I mean? I mean, I probably would like it's if it's a kid, I mean, no, it'll probably be like that. The show where the mom, mom and dad are hippies. And so the kids turn out to be fascist. So whatever. Oh, you're you're laughing at a fart again, mother. Oh, yeah. Very, very nice. Well on our slash farts, there is a guy who's kind of a madness. His name is a pubic, a giant pubic mess. And the angle, the angle of every one of them is this angle, dude. He's so artful. I gotta tell you, I love this guy and his hair is all messed up. You're both dreads. Yeah. I thought he was hair was just messed up. It's it's full dreads. Okay. He's been asked

not to fart so much post so many farts on our slash farts. And he goes, this is a special one for the two jabronis that message me telling me to stop farting. As Dr. Evil once said, how about now click this? He's trying to get this fart out. Get it. I don't think he got the fart out. What happened? Did he not fart? Oh, did you?

You had the volume down. Oh my god. Okay. I can't get. Oh no, it's our slash farts man. That's that's wild. I just love farting and posting his parts and stop farting. What do you think you are? I can tell him where he's supposed to go. This is his last place for him.

He's got nowhere after this. That's true. But also, can I, and I'm not joking, and I know it's going to sound like I'm doing a bit, but can I just say that I think the artistry of how much he was clenching to make the fart as long as it could be is like real. It's like a talent to me. He is definitely a harder like, well, you think there was like Will the farter famously and another farter on Howard.

Mr. Methane. No, but there was another guy named something the farter who there was two of them on Howard Stern, but they seem to, yeah, have that like a bit of skill where they'll clench and like release and they know how to extend kind of, yeah, like breathe through their buttholes by moving their pelvis and stuff. Yeah. Like get some air in there, like breathing in so that you can fart. You're not like, this, this is not a natural fart. This is like me getting highlights. This is like me getting highlights.

This is me faking it. He does some where he blows smoke out of his mouth while he's doing it. And I can't seem to find one, but here's one more of him. So cool. Maybe we'll get some more of him later. He just posted this one. He said, I honestly didn't shit my pants here and I have no idea how. I got to the fucking volume is so weak. I got to say, I don't know how he did.

And I think you might be like, I can't wait for the like notes app apology where he says, I'm sorry, I'm a liar. I live next to a swamp that's haunted. I've never fought it. We'll get more of him later. He posts every day, like several far today. Like that's in that same, in that same phone kind of behind his butt where it's like showing his he's got his face in the shot.

Like, yeah, he's sure that like you could just like, he needs his face to be in it, but he does also need the phone to be near his ass. Exactly. His face. He's just like, if people don't see my face, they, I can't send this link to anybody. And for, yeah, he's like, it's like that, you know, the like jokes about guy like trying to do, like take a picture of his dick and have the right angles or whatever, but this guy's doing it for farts. I figured it out too. He figured it out for he got the angles. I mean, he's no doubt about it. A professional. I remember Paul flart,

the guy who was the security guard who was farting on his at his job and he got fired for farting. Yeah, I remember. Wait. Yeah, it was. It was like this isn't just a guy that you that you guys knew right because I remember a guy that was called. Well, no, this was a famous guy.

This was a famous I mean it was famous online. It was like a famous guy. This was a famous, I mean, it was famous online. It was like a viral thing, but I did also, I did know him because I did, I did, I found it so fascinating that I reached out and had him on my old Twitch stream and had him on for like a 35 minute interview. And he did a live fart for us, which was incredible. I put it on my soundboard and used it for a long time afterwards. He was the sweetest guy. He was the nicest guy. It just dawned on me now that like I know a farder like a real deal farder and the only interaction I have with the farting community is incredibly positive and yeah, he's a really good spokesperson for the community.

This is off r slash farts. Anyone ever ripped a fart in a cavern and it echoed? R slash farts. Anyone ever ripped a fart in a cavern and it echoed? Another guy, our guy, a giant pubic mess says not a cavern, but an empty silo when it was empty and I do a work in it. It was a tall and narrow silo and I was at the top dome portion. It had the weirdest echo that was very loud. Not a cavern, but a silo. Not a cavern. It had the weirdest echo that was very loud. Is it a silo? A great cabin. But so would a silo suffice?

That's the only story I have. It's empty. It was giant, empty silo. So it is the same kind of thing. This guy goes one time, one time I ripped a nasty one at the bar and I got pulled outside by an older lady. She scolded me and told me I needed to go get checked out. So, okay. So that is some that listen, that happened to me today. I went to, I have a, I mentioned again, sorry to mention my baby again, but I went out just before we recorded this. Like within the last hour I went to a restaurant and my fucking baby just lays the most disgusting part. Like just he's on solid foods now. Yeah, exactly. So then the fucking server comes over. It's

just me in the corner at the table with the baby. And it's like, I don't even bother saying, cause it's going to sound like, you know, it was my child. It truly smelled like Ariel. And I had been texting earlier today or yesterday about how disgusting they're smelling right now, you know? So it was like particularly awful. It was, I go there all the time to this place. It was fucking humiliating. Here's a good question from the username famous underscore farts.

And they said, what food makes your farts stink the worst? Now 18 votes, 18 votes, seven votes went to eggs. One vote went to broccoli, two to cabbage, two to cheese, three to garlic or onions and three to other. So it's eggs mostly. So egg that's they make egg farts, but I think that might be a little bit of people mixing things up because eggs themselves smell like fart. They smell like a fart. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My, my fart smells like an egg. Like, yeah, I know that already. You didn't have to say it. No under, no underscore elephant does say this goes into cheese category, but I'll tell you anyway, mac and cheese. Holy me. I'm not even

lactose intolerant yet. That messes me up. It might be in the cheese category. So I'm going to I've gone to the judges and they told me that I could actually enter this into the cheese category. Biggest fucking Megamind brain you've ever seen. That actually goes in the cheese category. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Do you OK, Chris?

I think you were here for this. Not here. I think you were at the place I was at for this, which was Stefan's parents house. Do you remember the fart event that happened there? Now that you're saying it, I don't remember exactly, but I do remember there was a fart event. Yeah, there was a dog. There was there was appointment. No, it wasn't. Well, kind of. I mean, I guess is producer Dan, is he more of like a guy or is he? Oh, producer Dan, of course. I just want to apologize producer Dan. I know he listens to guys. I want to apologize for remembering you in

the story as a dog. A dog with really smelly farts. I just remember you as a dog with really smelly fart. I just remember you as a dog with smelly farts. So what it was, was that Dan, who is like a smell factory, basically he like, um, we were all playing hide and seek with, uh, with JF's kids and, um, to live a lot like Dan and I was like, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this.

I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this.

I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this, I I used to live a lot like Dan and those were not great fart days. You saying that the one that your diet and and like lifestyle

will maybe affect your farts. This is one interesting whole milk and drinking at least two cups of lactate makes my fart so bad. I have to wash my bed linen and then shower those parts of my bed lingering for a day or so my Laundry To do my laundry that's so fucked Don't know what a fart is like I had to do my laundry. That's so fucked. They don't know what a fart is like.

Looking at a solid shit and being like my. Think came out again. God damn it. I have to have to wipe some of this fart off of my. I farted on my girlfriend and just a turd in her lap. Fuck me. I used to live with a vegan who had like the worst farts. I believe it. I've I've got on what happened to me was I decided to get

healthy like a couple years ago And I was like I'm gonna start doing protein powder So I went and bought the cheapest protein powder they had at the store. I was just like, you know what? It's all the fucking same. It's all gritty and tastes like whatever you bought vanilla So I went and bought it and then for like three days. I was like The fuck is going on here? It was just so loud and so smelly. And it's my nightmare because I hate farting so much.

You don't want anybody to hear me doing it ever. So it was really hard for me. That was then I switched to better protein powder and it went away. That makes sense because I was going to say that I have a smoothie every morning famous and people love my smoothie recipe. I am freaking dying for it and they will not get it. I'll never give you my smoothie recipe. But I put protein powder in that it doesn't give me farts, but I think Ariel gets good protein powder. So I think that's probably what I put in mine. So I think that's probably what I put in mine. I've been drinking Pappy.

Ooh, happy man. Happy man. Winkle. Yeah, this guy goes. I love my fart. I love that my fart smell like warm fluffy scrambled eggs. So I think he got it confused with what it smells like and what it is. And I don't need eggs.

So I don't need eggs. I'm fine with that. The only thing that I'm fine with that the only thing That I'm mad at him for saying is that it smells like something warm Smells often for me warm your father's warm You had a hot fart and we can we can definitely infer How bad it smelled based on the heat of it, which Brian, Brian a little while ago tried to say, Oh, I actually, I had these, I had the hottest roast beef

farts and they didn't smell at all. That's what he said. Like, did you even believe on a, there's there a planet that that could possibly be true? He said he had medication roast beef farts that he said were notably hot. That can't be true. No, it was antibiotics. Okay. So I found this other guy too. And he's more of a, he's more of an influencer, I think than our other Oh, and he is the fartologist.

What he does is, is he goes to London restaurants and then checks into a nice hotel and records his farts for the night. Oh, he's a little bit more refined. He's a little bit more upper crust than the other guy. Okay. So the video is called another epic London hotel fart session from Indian Blaster food. Okay, here he goes. Okay.

It's got a great open there. That's like a beautiful like AI opening. Yeah, I love it. It's one of those ones that it's just like proudly AI AI and he hasn't you can tell that he like he didn't have a second go at it when it looked nothing like him and looked like a child. Yeah, he he got that one and said, let's roll with it right away. He's like, maybe they were going to press like in 10 minutes, you know? Yeah, no, he was holding his butthole shut with his fingers. Yeah, we'll use that.

Yeah, we'll use that one. Just let me start rolling. Just let me in. He's got such a round face if you're just listening to this. If you're American, he looks like Ben Franklin. If you've ever seen Benjamin Franklin, he looks exactly like him. Yeah. He's got a real round face.

He's got like, you know, he does have the classic double chin and he's got a face and then he's got more of it down below that doesn't even seem like it's there at first. But he looks also quite refined and he looks, he looks like he's pretty serious about this. Well, here we go. He has the kind of glasses that depending on whether you're young and hot can kind of look stylish

and if you're old, he can look like, well, you know, what kind of guy. Oh yeah. Which one's here? Oh, the music is a choice. The Marmarade of India, sharing across all of London. Whoa. This guy looks like all of my uncle.

By the way, he's so, so British, so fucking British. Yeah, so there is my Raja. Yeah, he's playing that music because he has Indian blaster food. Of course. Oh, so this is the camera. Oh, hang on. Stig is. Oh, so this is the camera. Oh, hang on. Hang on. To use. Sorry. Oh, hang on.

So we've got a smash cut to his hotel room. Completely dark. He's got a hotel, by the way. Nice hotel. Looks like a nice hotel. He's got the camera pointing from his like where his asshole is. He's clearly got the sort of flash on and you just see one of his legs up in the air. Pointing at the ceiling like

it's saluting it by the way the TVs off which I find to be crazy it's a dark room with no TV on well the room looks sinister because the lights are all off as well and there is a loose tripod on the run next to the window yeah he's decided not to go at the tripod. He's like, I'm going to go with this first person view as if he loves his first person view. I'm going to tell you that right now. This is his view.

It seems to be a popular one. Hey, what if you were my father? Sometimes I'm right now. I'm about to lean back in my chair and pretend this is me. And he also at the bottom if you want you're watching this which on a $8 hot wife tier on Patreon you can watch this episode of video because I thought you need to see this. He does have the fartometer in the bottom of corner. I wonder what that is.

That actually works. Now you watch. What do you mean it actually works now you watch what do you mean it actually for So yeah, I can see what you mean now it's like a it's like So it actually is like he's got a scientific fart-o-meter in the corner. Seems to be based in some type of science, but I think Demi noticed the same thing. I think he's horny. I mean, at the end he's like, he's like, oh, oh, oh, this might be bad. Oh, dude, that one.

You were clenching too hard. You didn't believe in yourself. He's worried. I think he's legit worried on this epic hotel fart session from India. Blaster food. He doesn't want he doesn't want to go full blaster. OK. All right. That was kind of cute. I'm not going to lie. The other noise was like horny to me and was a little off putting, but that one that like, oh, like that sort of excitement, like, is if you just like made a horseshoe or something

like that, you know? That was, that was kind of sweet, you know? Oh, that was hard. Okay. All right. It went from. Oh, that one was good. I'm gonna look at the other foot too, which is nice. He takes care of his feet a little bit, you know?

Yeah, he could get some different people in there watching to he might be, you know, maybe he's bigger. There's like some overlap in those fetish communities. Maybe there's a I don't really feel like like I know that people are like, oh, curry makes me fucking shit blue or whatever. But I don't feel like Indian food is the is the craziest fought food in my personal opinion. Yeah, I don't know. I yeah, I guess it can be. I think it has some stuff in there that'll make you fart. What would you go with Demi? If you were trying to like do the biggest

farts, what would be what would be your like intuition? And Brian, I would love to hear yours as well. Antibiotics. Just take a lot of antibiotics. Big bowl of antibiotics. I mean, it's I think fruit and vegetables really is the you know, I don't need any of those. It's very much like I would just yeah, like boiling broccoli in some milk.

Here's one more little. We'll look at this for just a second. But the fartologist performs 31 nasty Max Power farts at the Park Plaza in Westminster, London. Oh, yeah, I'd love to hear his Max Power. It's good to know because then we know what the like the scale is kind of. Yeah. Really proud of himself. He's feeling himself. Yeah

Look at watch he's wearing sunglasses by the way Like for a second he had the camera like pointed towards himself. And he has sunglasses. And he has sunglasses in his dark hotel room while he does these parts. I think there's like something going on with these parts where he recognizes like these are there's something possibly radioactive or something he knows is not like it's not safe to look at these fire. One thing I will say is that oh here. I'm sorry.

What I'll do for the people that aren't watching this is I will cut this as their as their one British tooth. He looks so much like one of D.V.'s guy. He looks like the kind of guy who's sending photos of himself to, you know, posting under a lady being like, very beautiful, sweetie, you know? Yeah. I want to see how this gets on his face here we go jesus christ stop can i just say there's always dust blowing around where the fart jesus christ i can't stop Jesus Christ, I can't stop. Jesus Christ. I can't stop.

Like it was like a live delivery from a movie. Like it was like so fucking serious. Like can we just hear that line one more time? Yes, of course. Jesus Christ. Like, like he seemed like genuinely concerned a little bit. I like think so. No, no, no, no.

He's not actually concerned, but he's playing it up because he knows it's like a better product. It's a lot. Yeah. Hey, for the listeners of the bonus stuff, Lone Depot just called me. That's the first time on this one. So Oh, I can't get I guess I missed it.

Did you get further? Oh, yeah. That was it. Here he goes. Christ, I can't stop. OK, I have two things to say. One, he's like when he's got his foot up, it looks like he is directing the fart into the gigantic picture of the woman on the wall.

Yeah. And second, all I can think about is that like when you could see the window of the hotel, it looks like it's either dawn or the sun is setting. And like, it makes me think that he's like, well, it's not my house. It's a hotel. And I haven't figured out how to put down the blinds. So I'm taking my sunglasses on because I'm photophobic. I can't handle it. I'm trying to go to sleep, but I'm filming my farts all night. I had tried.

He's trying to go to sleep. Imagine the fucking people beside him. He's going a one day. He's going to go really ultra viral and then they're not going to let him check into any hotels. That's what happened to fucking Paul Flart. Paul Flart went viral and then his like employer was like, oh, you probably shouldn't be posting videos of you farting while you're doing

security. know, you probably shouldn't be posting videos of you farting while you're doing security at the place. You can't do that. You can't. I went to, uh, Amazon and looked at the, uh, and this is the top of the line model of fart maker, you know, who uses them. Let, this is what Leslie Nielsen used to use. Oh, this is a, this is like, what do you mean you used to use them? Well, yeah. Leslie Nielsen used to do fart jokes all the time. And this is what he used to use. It's called the pooter. Oh, he would like, he would, he would go on those talk shows and like just that people said when they met him, like in public, he

would just do it. He was always just making fun. That's actually very fucking funny. It's really cool. Yeah. Yeah, I did. I knew that he did it on talks. Was I did not realize that he did it off camera as well. Just a normal people. I'm trying to find a guy's name. So you can do basically is for nobody except for him.

It really makes some people feel special, I think. Yeah. So this is the main fart influencer and now I'm blanking on his goddamn name. He sells these there 1199 I could get one delivered overnight One yeah Amazon name listing to which is which I love so the customer views I wanted to read the AI Customers find the fart toy fun and entertaining however some have reported issues with its functionality Value for money squeeze ability and wear resistance there are mixed opinions on the sound quality So we're gonna hear what we've used here

We use resistance they're concerned about the squeeze ability. Well, Brandon gave it four stars or five stars. Oh, these negative reviews just can't get it to work. Got to try different positions on your hand. Not every hand is the same. It actually works on a different spot on my left hand than on my right. Once you find the correct spot, it works with no issues. Thank you, Brandon. Thank you. And Sam five stars says, this is cool. Nice fart toy makes fart noises every time I squeeze it. All right.

Oh, that's good. That's what you wanted to do. Ted gives it five stars. It says, I didn't know what to expect when I ordered it. It was a bit frustrating at first trying to make a sound with it, A little ingenuity research and practice and I'm making great fart sounds. Did I actually just say that? I can't wait for the next shopping or have a long elevator ride. Let your inner child out. You need this. Now that's a fart guy. Oh my God. Check please. This guy is, did I, oh my God, did I just say that? The fact of like, it is kind of funny, you know, the idea of sort of trying to perfect

this. I mean, it's like, or maybe not funny. It's like, I guess maybe sad. It's like spending a lot of your time trying to like figure out how to make this fart machine work. Kevin L says four stars. You have to really work to get this fart machine work. Kevin L says four stars. You have to really work to get this thing to work on the fatty palm of your hand. It isn't perfect. And my wife was over the novelty of it pretty quick. That seems like a wife problem. That's like covering a wife.

And then maybe think about a divorce if your wife didn't continue to find the fart toy funny. We have to laugh, but you have to hold it exactly right. And even then, sometimes it doesn't work as well as you hope. I'm not disappointed. I just hope I'd be more impressed. I don't understand how there's an issue with the. Well, you got to learn it.

There's actually a instructional video of how to use it. Like you have to like when you get Fucking find the right spot on the pooter like it like as if it's a clitoris like just try to like It's not a Demi, it's literally. It's a pocket of air that you're. Oh. Exactly. So it's not a like it's not it's like a literal thing. You have to find the right place on it. OK, well, then now I agree with the fog, guys. That is a skill issue.

You need to learn then if you're going to use it on your wife, you need to get it right before you use it the first time. Yeah, sorry. Sorry that it's not just like easy. Like, yeah, if you want fucking, grab on to the buttoned one. If you want the real deal, if you want the fucking real deal that Leslie used, then you got to fucking learn how to use it. Yeah, you need to buy yourself an asshole so you can do it for

real. Yeah, I really like Richard T. Gross because he gave it four stars and he said first of all, it comes kind of stiff and will soften with you. Second. I had a tiny bit of Vaseline to the ball of my hand under the thumb, the area you will put the hole over. The hole has to be placed near where the air will escape too much flesh and the air can't force his way through. I got mine yesterday and keep getting better at it with practice. Still not like Jack Vale, but getting there. So Jack Vale

is the guy. Jack Vale is the, is the pooter guy. So he's like the king of it. He can just like, he's like bap bap bap bap and he's laying off the most sick farts you've ever heard. He's not even thinking about it. Yeah. I need to grease my hand to not amuse my wife. Yeah. Just spending so much time to make your wife annoyed at you. It's like you can just do that super easily. You know what I mean? You don't have to learn how to do all of this stuff. I listen man. It does just go like this. I would do that. I appreciate. I appreciate Dick gross

though. That guy's name is Dick gross. Yes. Dick T. Gross. Feldeger gave it one star. Uh oh. It goes, did not meet expectations. Save your many. He spelled money M-E-N-Y. It goes, does not work as shown in demo. It's difficult to use. You need moist palms to get the sound effect.

Which is not drawn out like in the demo. So, you need moist palms. Well, if you're not as nervous as I am when I'm looking at my wife. the sound effect, which is not drawn out like in the demo. So you need more. Well, if you're not as nervous as I am when I'm looking at my wife, maybe it's not going to work that well. Maybe they kind of count on you being super nervous while you're doing it. So big, whoa. Guy who doesn't know how his wife's going to respond. Is she going to think it's funny or is she going to ask for a divorce?

And then it's just like, that's, that's ideal. You're going to lay out some of the best parts. Yeah. Even if she doesn't like it, she'll be impressed. David says one star. Listen, it doesn't work at all. Four different people tried it, couldn't make it do what it said to do. It's a bait and switch. Why must I enter more characters? This is a bait and this is a classic bait and I ordered a noise thing and it won't fart. They bait you by giving you the best product you could possibly think of machine in your head. And then they switched out with something that just barely makes fart noises. It's a classic.

JJV gives it one star. It says so bad. Does not sound anything like anything but a squeak. No, no, no. Save your money. Not a fart, but a squeak is all that's coming out of this thing. I cannot recommend this gadget. It's so bad, it's laughable. Well, I mean, that's what you're that's what you're trying for. Yeah, I'm not going to criticize how you get the laugh. Yeah, whatever. If it gets a laugh, it gets a laugh. If I was doing customer service for them, like if I was the Randy Mon of this company, that famous customer service guy used to do customer service for hedonism.

But I would just say to them, like, well, you got to laugh. Sounds like you're the product delivered. Thanks, Randy Mont. You know? Yeah. This guy goes difficult to manipulate the reviews I read said it would take some practice, practice, but to be patient. Well, my hand cramped and the emitted sounds don't fool anyone. Well my hand cramped and the emitted sounds don't fool anyone It's like it's like a huge plan that I have, and it's just getting stuck every time. Because people are like, that doesn't sound like a fart.

That wasn't a real fart. That wasn't a real fart. Guy that does it in public, and somebody just turns at him, because I know that was fake. That was 100% fake. What's that, a pooter? What bottle do you have? It's in a's that a pooter? What bottle do you have?

Is it a machine or a pooter? You do better next time buddy. Hey nice try, nice try dry hands. Well my hand cramped and the emitted sounds wouldn't fool anyone. I doubt this was Leslie Nielsen's choice. Apparently he never left home about his but it must have been a different kind. No, I don't think so. I just think he knew how to fucking use it. Yeah, because he practiced.

He practiced and he had good- You see Leslie Nielsen with his fart machine, he's slapping it on the floor like ballerinas do with their shoes. Sand parts of it down because he knows exactly how it's supposed to be. Yeah, totally totally is. It's like he has a little case for his like a pool cue. I love the fucking line. I doubt this was Leslie Nielsen's choice.

I doubt this was Leslie Nielsen's choice. This guy was one of the best fucking fart guys around. I don't think he would be using something like that. Yeah, that is that is like that's a cool that's a very solid thing to say like my man less than really not yeah it's a good thing to have an opinion on too yeah and one star finally from Brian he goes junk it's just a POS got it from my grandkids piece of plastic with a hole not worth a crap. Oh, hey.

Hey, is something going on at home, dude? Yeah, you're right. It is a plastic thing with a hole, but that's evident from the photographs of it. But I'm not sure why you thought it was gonna come, you know? This is from rslashfart. This is from Vermicelli Defiant508. Could be a post-aparian too. He goes, buddy of mine

got kicked out of a pizza shop after he ripped a huge fart and people got pissed and they threatened to call the cops. It was F and loud as hell. This was not a pooter. This was a real fart. So they, you would never kick somebody out for the loudness of a fart. He's just adding that in. No, no, no. My brother used to get in trouble for farts. All the time growing up. What I'm saying, people are talking about calling the cops

because the fart was so loud, like a noise complaint. I mean, I find that hard to believe. I think it's like, get out of here. Just leave, dude. We don't need this shit. What if we wake the baby up? But isn't this the time? What if we wake your baby up?

Thank you. Thank you, Demi. That is true. There is some, there's some, there's this one store that I hate in the mall because I can't go in there because the music's too loud. Cause it'll wake my baby up. So my baby's asleep. I can't go in the store. So yeah, it is a different consideration for sure. If somebody farted so loud that it woke my baby up, I'd have to give him a high five. You know, I'd, I'd

honestly have to give it up. Like that's impressive. Yeah. Well, uh, actor Speiler says, get everybody in this sub to leave a bad review on that place. Oh, we have review, review bomb it because they didn't want your fucking nasty milk farts fucking clearing their whole restaurant out. Like they're trying to run a business. Yes, yes. Yes. This next guy goes, I'd wear that badge of honor any day.

Okay. That's what fart guys. She gets fired, I guess. People kept saying, they gotta be just fart fetish guys. And I'm like, no, there are people who love farts. They just can't get enough of them. Yeah.

Seems like it. Because yeah, to be proud of it is like, I think that is a whole different type of guy to me is like that sort of proud dirt bag who's just like, cause you have to not really care. Cause if you're just going out in public to a restaurant and like laying nasty farts down and everyone's like, Oh, like they're trying to eat and they're all like, Oh, that's disgusting. And you're like, Oh, this is the funniest best shit ever. Like you have to be a pretty bad guy or like, I don't know.

You just have to be like incredibly immature, you know? Deport life! Deport is not good life! I have a friend, his name's Luke Heggie. He's like a really incredible comedian. Like every sentence that comes out of his mouth is poetry. But a private joke that he did just for himself was send, I think it was like three months worth of farts to his friend who was a music producer and got him to do the, I think it's, what's that, Ode to Glory?

Is that the name of the? Yeah, he did, is that, yeah. He did the, he got him to do the Ode to Glory and the guy was like, can I reuse some of the yeah, he did. Is that yeah, he did the he got him to do the ode to glory. And the guy was like, can I reuse some of the parts? And Luke was like, no, I'll send you. You know, he needed them all to be individual, individual thoughts. That's beautiful. Well, I mean, for a fart guy, I wouldn't like it.

It's like when they get the dogs to sing jingle bells. I love it. Wait, what? It's like when they get the dogs to sing Jingle Bell. I love it. Wait, what? It's like when they get the dogs to sing Jingle Bells. I know they don't. What just happened to you there? Physically, my stand is fucked up right now. So we're just going to go ahead and just keep going as though it's not fucked up. OK, so back on our slash farts.

I wanted to go to actually not our slash farts. I wanted to. Oh, well, one last thing, favorite fart position. Yeah. See, I would think I just know the one where you like try to like, I guess for a guy, it would be like the position of trying to suck your own dick or whatever. I think the best position is straight up in a fancy London hotel room. Well, yeah, that guy showed me a couple of new ideas. I just know that like, you know, when you'd light your farts on fire, when you were younger

or whatever, you do that position where you... Around the back of your legs. Yeah, you'd go like lay on your back and then tuck your legs in over your shoulder or whatever. That's kind of the classic party. We didn't know that you need to point your toes towards God to do this. We had no idea about any of this sort of rule and the etiquette, let's be honest. We're very unpolished kind of people. Yeah.

And the fartologist also like, I really think he could get something out of like putting powder on his butthole before he cuts the fart and then it kind of shoots the powder out. Because I saw a bunch of dust flying around all of his farts. There was like a bunch of dust flying around in that area. And I was like, you should put some powder there and see what it does. Yeah, people do that. They do the swirls and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if there's any artists who are doing that kind of work

with different colors and stuff like that. Oh, I bet there are. I bet there are, honestly, you know. Is you got you guys have seen the videos of like of the What is what's the thing called when like the camera that detects heat the no? Yeah, I have seen those where they catch people doing silent but deadly farts Yeah, that would fuck the pooter up that would actually be really bad for the pooter crowd. That's great. That's that's right I agree with you. I agree. I get around you. You'd hear a fart and they'd be like that. My heat

vision isn't even picking that up. That can't be real. Yeah. Yeah. I've got my Google glasses on. Wait, remember Google? I got my I was bought some recently. I was. I didn't even know they still sold them. They don't. But it would be funny to put them on and just show up on a stream one time like, hi. That was my idea with the Motor Bunny gaming chair, but then I thought it was an actual gaming chair and I thought it'd be funny to just stand up and all of a sudden it's a Motor Bunny gaming chair, but in terms of just the Motor Bunny and you plug it into your controller while you ride.

Motor Bunny is like a Sibian Demi. It's like a... It's a better one. I was literally... As you said that, the next thing that I was going to say was that, man, what if we got one of those 50s Sibians that doctors used? Yeah, that's what we're talking about. And got someone to make a porno with it like it's their main civilian.

This is just what I use. They did it right the first time. Yeah, I like to bend over like a folding chair, hugging my thighs and head between my legs and let out a high powered fart. Sometimes I'll fart loud in the hallways at work, hoping someone is within earshot around the corner so I can run away and they'll forever wonder who farted. That's immature. Don't fart at work. Sounds like a fetish.

Sounds like a fetish as well. Yeah. This guy goes wooden chair. Lift one cheek. So that's oh, that's that makes sense to me, like a varnished wooden chair. Yeah. The guy that I want to hear from is the fartologist. Well, also our guy with the dreadlocks, of course. Oh yeah. What was his name again? A giant pubic mass, I believe. But here I got more of his farts. We can just check out another couple of his farts too. I actually have this one from this guy, booby chaser 69. And let's have a ladies man. Sounds like this one says

first decent fart of 20. Oh, that sucks. Cause it's like, he's been doing so many shitty ones that weren't worthy. It's like, what day was this? Oh my God, this is 10 days ago. Yeah. He got all the way to the ninth before he got a good fart. That's brutal, man. He's going over a week of just like nothing to post, man. That is very sad. Well, hey, this is triumphant. Yeah. Pfft.

Okay. All right. Yeah, that was like not like some of the ones we've heard and then it was just kind of, that to me, I don't want to be rude. Those of you who've been listening to the show for a while. Sorry that thanks. It was on their first.

That's our first ever appearance with Tom Segura on the podcast. Ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, that's I feel like that guy. I don't want to this will come across rude, but that sounded like a civilian fart. Yeah, because that's not a giant, a giant pubic mess, which we do have. Yeah. Like one of those. Like it was how to fart.

Yeah. Here we go. See what I mean? That's what I'm talking about. Like, it's interesting because the mass of the fart that that civilian posted, it was like, if you just wait to do farts, I bet that one weighed more and more to it. But he wasn't, he doesn't have the asshole control to like, Exactly.

Exactly. Yes. More to it, but he wasn't he doesn't have the asshole control to like Yes It's fantastic And finally one more giant mass that one oh One more from this guy one more from a giant pubic mass you You got him down. Yeah. Yeah, I'll turn it up Here we go I Would love to fly this guy to London to meet the fartologist Oh, just both of them sit in a room together and really fucking work some stuff out

It'd be kind of cool to see those two different types of walks of life like coming together Finding common ground. He did a funny thing there where he put a sensor over his breath over his nipple He does he takes a lot of shirtless fart He does a lot of shirtless farts for sure. It'd be cool to see like the house that the rental that he's moved out of and see like the stains on the walls from where his pictures of his family were taken down after all of the flies that he's done.

Like when somebody smokes like a smoke for decades. Yeah. Yeah. But our slash farts favorite types of farts. I've been thinking about this lately and come to the conclusion that more favorite fart type are FFFFFFF T ones that start out extremely hot followed by rapid cooling making you feel like liquid came out I had one recently that made my entire seat hot and in my pants suddenly felt cool so much so that I stopped in circle K and wiped but nothing came out. So he loves that. He loves when he has to stop in circle K to wipe his asshole in the middle of a car ride.

And that happened. Nothing even happened down there. He fucking boom. He says a stop, pull over, wipes his ass, looks at it and he's like, whoa. Looks at it and it's clean and he says, I love this. Oh, this is the best. This is good. All right. I could put this toilet paper in my pocket and reuse it if I wanted to. Yeah, this. Yeah, this guy goes the best one to make you feel alive fart wisely, my friends. Next person says Watery fart. Hell, yeah, those times smell like warm scrambled egg and warm trash mixed together.

Again, you can't smell warm. Stop saying that. Here's a guy. Juicy, bassy, manly farts is what he likes. Also really love wet parts that sound like they shit themselves. And finally, this guy goes, I suffered loud, powerful, powerful farts recently that sound like a klaxon and smell very rancid indeed, often so ranked that nearby dung beetles were

spewing up. Although great for comedy purposes, dropping in a crowded area or blaming on others, my favorites must be the low pitched gurgling biological hazard ones. Many an afternoon's merriment is enjoying those in malls, public buildings, etc. So again, like what type of a human being likes us and maybe I'm wrong here. Maybe if you're listening, maybe there's more people like this than I thought. But I didn't think that adults would do things like that where it's like, I'm going to go and lay a disgusting fart down that makes everyone feel nauseous and disgusting. And that's very funny to me.

But I mean, I guess if you go and upset strangers, yeah, that's yeah. Like are they nasty? These people, did they do something to you? Here's what I never thought of. Here's what I never is what I never thought. Is this John Wick style? Is John John Wick style? I mean honestly John Wick just fucking going over to the guy's house and just fucking farting after eating eggs like This guy goes the ones that itch the inner anus for you So that's a That's like a fart with a little finger with a fingernail on it That made Tammy a little bit grossed out. I feel like

I like the one thing that you've got like anal fissures that you need scratched by your own thoughts And I've never even I don't I've known does that what that work is that it happened. Yeah, I mean I hate Thank you for admitting it. I do. I don't even like saying that I ever fart. Although the one time I said I fart 10 times a day, but then I counted today, it's been like four. So yeah, that's really abnormal for, I mean, that's not enough farts. And it's like, God, I can't win with you people. It's enough. Four is enough. I think even to, it depends on again, what you're eating and what you've eaten. But I think it's like, yeah, four seems kind of normal. Four seems like a Four that you notice is definitely like, yeah, I

Here's somebody here's somebody his name is books are like drugs. And he says, I like the ones that sound loud, wet, juicy and greasy. Kind of like there's a bubbling cauldron between your ass cheeks. The ones where you check your underwear afterwards. Well, they love these ones where they, where they're learning the line. Yeah. Like they love the, I see. I did not realize that. That's an aspect of it that I was not aware of that. Like those are the most popular farts. Yeah. Before we get into the fetish. Before we get to the fetish, I want to read one more. This question is coming from a fan. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish.

I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish.

I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the fetish. I'm a fan of the thoughts. Yeah. Before we get into the fetish, And full men. Before we get to the fetish,

I want to read one more of this question this guy asked, and it's the fucking Lebowski is his name. He goes, why does my fart smell like the rotten version of my food? It's not just me, my wife has confirmed it. My fart stench will correlate distinctly with what I consumed some hours earlier. For example, when eating chicken, my flatulence follows hours later will smell distinctly

of rotten chicken and vice versa. I've got to know of anyone else with this problem. That sounds like you that sounds like you're very close to death. I can't explain. It's like something is your body is not happening right inside. Yeah. You know what I mean? I would go to a doctor about that. Yeah, that that sounds like the inside of you is is killing you. Food. It's fair. I do the animal alive and it would be dead by this guy goes mine smell like beef.

You're fucking shit. So smell normal. This guy goes mine smell like beef. You're fucking shit. So smell normal. This guy goes, mine smell like beef. Competitive World 40 says this happens with my wife's farts to L.O.L. So, OK, so people have noticed a couple of other people. But again, yeah, I would be. I wonder how much it smells like them. You know what I mean? Like if it smelled exactly like it, that would be freaky.

And finally, this guy goes, when I was in the Navy, I drank a lot of steel reserve. them. You know what I mean? Like if it smelled exactly like it, that would be freaky. And finally, this guy goes, when I was in the Navy, I drank a lot of steel reserve. My fart smelled unearthly. The guys in my division called them oily meat bombs. So finally, let's get to the fart fetishes fetishes fetishes before we get out of here. I went to our slash fart fetish fetish experiences and this post showed up gassy girlfriend. This is from today. So I've been with my, so this, so I've been with my woman for three years and recently we've started expanding our sex life

and trying new things, which that includes my fart fetish. She knows how much it turns me on. She loves to tease me with it. So that just means you fart. I'm eating beans. Oh, is that what she's doing? She's like eating beans. She like come around the corner and she's got a can of beans. If you don't watch yourself, I'm not eating the beans. Oh, honey, I can't get the can

opener to work on the bees. Hey, she's naked. Look at this cork I found. Uh-oh. That is a hard one, I think, because I don't know. How would you react, do you think, if you're... I mean, I don't think I could do it in a sex way. I would never fart on my wine because it's sex. It's too funny I think to me like you're just too silly and goofy and childish like I just don't I would be able to like and it's gross as well it's there's like it's kind of like it's funny because it's gross I don't think they can mix. Not for me, but fine, but not for me. What if Tom was like, how would you...

Right now, if he's just like... Because you guys are married, just to be clear. You can't get away from them that easily. Yeah. You can't just consider it. You have to consider it. There's legal things involved. So what if he came up to you and he was like,

listen, this is what I'm into and I'd love to try it out. You just say, you'd have to say no. Oh God. I think that's a situation where I'd be like, listen, I love you more than anything. If you need that, you need to hire somebody That is sweet though that is nice that you would like you'd say hey You can get we can bring someone over to fart on you I don't want to do it and I kind of don't want to breathe it either So you can have the thoughts for for you. And I'm that's fine. If that's going to please you.

Yeah, more farts for you. More farts for you. I don't even want to breathe them in or smell them. You get all this. I don't want to take any of the smells away from you. Take the smell from you and then wash your nose after please. It's been amazing. And I'm so glad I told her about my fetish because it just makes our sex life so much better I'll take her out to eat since I know what gets her gassy and we'll come home and she just lets me lay on Her ass while she lets them rip. She'll sit on my face She'll sit on my face and give me a hand job and rip a fart or two during it

They all think so much She'll send me fart videos. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What did he say? They all stink. So good guy. Fuck man. This is so fucking bizarre. I'm sorry. If anyone's listening and you have a bar finished, I don't ever want to like, that's great. I don't want to like kink shame in any way, but like the idea of you like looking across the table as she's eating these foods that you know will make her fart. Just getting yourself ready for it and like, and dissipating it and like sort of like it, like, like a pig, like going and fattening a pig up or whatever you know like something so weird about it.

She'll sit on my face and give me a hand job and rip a fart or two during it. They all sting so much. They'll send me fart videos while I'm away at work. It's been really amazing lately and anyone who hasn't opened up to their partner about their fetish should edit. She's a five nine skinny emo babe with a sexy bubble. I didn't Oh man, I didn't think it could be funnier. The edit is good. But thinking about a fringe over one eye. you're farting at somebody's face. I love the edit as well because it definitely says that there was a bunch of creepy fart

fetish guys who are like, what does she look like? This guy SmallGas8827 goes, you're a very lucky guy. Congrats. And he responds and goes, it's been really great. She's the second woman I've had who's indulged in my fetish. He doesn't have to talk around and hopefully you find someone. So this guy at a bar getting shot down a hundred times before. Oh, I love that. He's kind of, he's walking around now. Big man on campus, kind of like, Hey, like, Hey, you know, you guys will find one.

Don't worry. I know. Like, you know, you'll find yours. Like, he's just like, he's in heaven right now. God damn it. He's got, he's got a little spring in his step and a light smile on his lips. Walking around the world. Yeah. It's like, honestly, like, it's like, yeah, it's cool and everything, but it's just like, yeah, whatever. You know what? All the guys are like, oh my God.

What's his name again? Uh, current dot. Oh my God. Current Todd, tell us about the smells of the farts. Honestly, she doesn't have good fart smells, but she's got loud fart. Oh, wait a minute. He's a fart in the volume of sound. This guy was talking.

I had to go to the ear doctor. Oh yeah, that's right. He said there's fecal matter in your ear and it's like, because I'm sticking it up against her butthole. That's right there is doctor. Thank you. High-fiving the doctor. Doctor's like, you should have a bunch of fecal matter in your ear.

Damn right I do, doctor. It is so crazy when he says in the original post when he said she sits on my face and jacks me off and tosses me a couple of farts. It's such a weird way to word it. She just toss me a couple of parts out of nowhere. This is a bonus. In fact, she noticed she's giving him a hand job and she noticed as he starts to get a bit flaccid and then she's just like,

he's one down for. I guess, yeah, I guess so. I really hope to find a person I can fully share that finish with. Do you recommend a specific place where you find people that are more open-minded about that or so? Yeah. The fart store. I go to the literally thinking it's really brutal. It is like, I wonder how many people there are. It seems like a niche one to me. It doesn't seem like it's like it'd be like the foot one or whatever. Like it seems like it would be harder to find somebody and it must be like, it's a hard one to broach. You know

what I mean? It's so like you're really putting, you're really putting yourself out there. If like to actually like lay it out there, like I'm into fart fetish. Like you'll get laughed at a lot over that. Like even people who you like, you know? So, yeah. Well, he replies and goes, I met her at the end of high school, but I just tried dating apps and sent it to out of your city. So you're able to talk about your fetish without it getting spread around. Mm hmm.

I drive out of town to have ladies. Yeah, if you're in a small town, it sounds like he's in a small town. He's in a small town. So that if you're in a small town, you probably don't want to be on the dating apps being like, well, you come fart on me. You're just that guy forever. You know? That's true. I suppose. Yeah, I think that makes sense finally Finally does anyone else? Eat a cake in a funny way and his name has been mr. Cake since then yeah, I think that does make sense Community it makes sense party boy. He's mr. Party boys

Like all for it on you for $50 boy. He's Mr. Farty Boys here. Oh, yeah, that would be a dream for him. Hey, like, you know, just like walking by the kids walking up to him like there he ising on him as they like instead of No, I only like of age woman farts No, I mean farts over here women for my god this guy's homophobic with his Fuckin dudes farting on me. All right They make different noises I don't swing that way, brother. Listen, it comes different out of a lady's ass. I can tell. I know. They make different noises. Men are more bassy. Their farts are more bassy and meaty.

I love bassy. Finally, Quirky Necessary says, does anyone else have to hide their fart fetish from their girlfriend? So my girlfriend and I are very kinky, but there are some things I know she's not into because she's voiced it and that's fine. I'll partake in those kinks of my own, but she makes it so damn hard sometimes. My girlfriend's very gassy and she's

vocal about it. We'll be in bed chilling and all of a sudden she pauses and lets it rip and they're always, always loud and bubbly. And then she'll groan and say something like that's going to stink. And I just have to giggle and be like, yuck. Haha. When in reality I'd love to just stuck my face into her butt and get face for it. Oh, that's so nasty, honey. Listen, he doesn't have it that bad. Yucky. Oh, it gets bad. Yucky He gets up and acts like he's gonna walk out of the room and then trips and lands with his face on her butt

Oh, honey, honey, what have you what have you been eating? I just want to make sure you don't eat it anymore like right now like fucking orders 100 cases of whatever Well, he's not on sale, I don't know it's not that bad though. He doesn't have it that bad because it sounds to me like he doesn't get to like really indulge in the way he wants to, but he's also having sex and getting big fucking farts in the middle of it. And that sounds great. Just enjoy it, buddy. Just shut up and fucking enjoy it. That's all.

It's fine. Yeah. It reads like he's not getting the farts during sex. They're real reads like they lay down together, just hanging out. So maybe you just maybe toss some of those farts in the spank bank thing. Maybe just get up while you're chilling with a pillow of your crotch and go to the bathroom for a bit. Hey, honey, I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

Laying in bed with your phone on her butt, like that recording. What was it that you just did? Was that called a fart? Right. That made me remember I need to go to the bathroom now. Yeah, it's because that to me, that's all it is, is a strictly a bathroom kind of thing. I just know where they are now. So Lais is he lays his phone recording right by her butt when they go to sleep.

And he's like, Oh, hopefully I catch a big fart tomorrow. He's like scrubbing through like he's surveillance. He's like, it's like it's like a guy going and checking his crab traps in the morning. All right. Well, I asked me, Brian asked me, I just want to say informally, Brian was like, this is the first time ever he, he literally sent me a thing. He's like, I want to do fart guys with Demi. He's like, do you think it's too disgusting?

Do you think it's like too you think people actually get upset with us? And I was like, I think it's fine. And hey, so if if you guys are upset, it was too disgusting That's on me. You can get mad at me You can get mad at me as well. I don't give a fuck. I think it's awesome. I think It was one of those things where I was like, is this grosser than the feet episode? And then in my mind, I was like, this is grosser than the feet episode, but you can only use the feet for sex. We only did like two minutes or 20 minutes of fart sex. Yeah. Believe me, the fartologist is going to be on all on bonus shows and stuff. And

the story, he's a rich vein. He's a star. He's a great guy to bring in. Definitely. He's when he was so distressed, he's like, God, stop. You got to think about that in terms of it being a night where he had 31 blasters. Oh, yeah, Indian blasters. Those were Indian blasters. Those were 31 Indian blasters. That can scratch your anus and it hurts. It can scratch you. Oh, why does it go there? I can't. I can't. Look at it. I thought it would have an effect, but I didn't think it'd be like this. Oh no. I'm gonna get a bill, I think.

Yeah, he's like, yeah, he really, he was like distressed there. You think he has to check the bed when he's finished, like before he checks out, like is there anything here? Did I leave anything? Maybe he, you know what, if I was gonna be- Like you mean his wallet and stuff or no like a little bit of wet Smallest amount of like spray got out there planning on it I would hope that he's putting down at least like a hand towel under the area of action, you know That's what I would do if that was my thing yeah well in my

dreams I'm gonna get the pubic mess and the partologist in the same room yeah I'm gonna get a pubic mess in the going to get a pubic mess. Yeah, I'm going to get a pubic mess and the fartologists in the same room and have them trade notes with each other. I think that would be honestly like it would be, it would kind of be like twisters or whatever. Well, there's a next generation of fart guys. I mean, I know, I know the fartologist is kind of old, but fartologists isn't he's, he would have some stuff to tell, but I think he'd have some respect for a mess up.

Yeah. The gigantic pubic mass. Yeah. I mean, you know, like, um, uh, uh, a lot of actors didn't start like, uh, what's his face star Wars, star moms and fugitive. What's his face? Oh, Harrison Ford. Yeah.

He was like 38. So that's true. He's like, he until he was like 38, so. That's true. He's like, nowadays you see that all the time. It's like an older guy, but he's a new influencer or a new comedian or whatever, you know? So I think to me though, I have a tough time thinking of the fartologist as anything other than a real sort of-

Who's the star? Well, no, just like an elder kind of, somebody to like with, somebody with a lot of knowledge, you know, somebody that they can impart on us. Maybe he will have some new appreciation in this time in his life. You understand? Dear fartologists, I once farted really loud in a silo.

It was incredible. Oh yeah. I'd love to come over and hang out in your hotel and fart with you. It would be an honor. It would be an honor to sit beside you. Maybe next time you make your booking for two double beds instead of one king,

and I could sit beside you and fart with you, sir. Do all kinds of Indian food blasts. I know that a silo is not as ideal as a cavern, however. Hear me out. All right, that's it. I know that a silo is not as ideal as a cavern, however. Hear me out. All right, that's it. Demi, do you wanna plug anything? Oh yeah, I've got a thing coming.

Just follow it, my name's Demi Lardner. I'm the only one that really comes up if you search it. But I have a podcast called bigsofttitty.png with my husband and I have a film thing coming out this year that will be on. You'll see it. It's going to be really fucked up. It's it's special. It's I'm doing a special at the end of the year, but halfway through

the year, I'm filming my fake game show. So you want to win a penis pump. Oh, okay. I'll be watching that people are going to be interested in this. We know a lot of it. It's not an AMS 700. It's obviously a pump. They're not selling an AMS 700.

You know how much that costs something really fucked up that happened was I did. So you want to win a penis pump live at this show that I did at Auntie Donna's like company at Grouse house did this thing at South by Southwest Sydney. It was like a mini thing where they did Grouse by Grouse Fest. I did So You Want to Win a Penis Pump Live and I got there and I had all of my shit there and everything that I needed for the show. And then I said to my manager, hey, I don't want this to come off really crazy. I forgot to get a fucking penis pump. And my manager had to go to the sex shop and buy me a penis pump because I didn't have

a prize to give to the winner of the show. And he brought back a fucking nipple enhancer. You believe that shit? That's not a penis pump, but I get what he's doing. I get what he's going with. Well, some guys have small penis. Get what he's fucking I get what he's going with Like a micro penis my dude This is our nipple size not mine. That's true. That's true. I've already said mine's 12 inches from the ground

I told this I said my dick's 18 inches from the ground. That was my joke. It's really funny to do it to him. Anyway, yeah, my stuff's coming out, but I'm the only one really with my name. So if you want to see me do that. Probably a lot of the listeners know you as well because they've been asking for you. They've been asking for you to come on for a long time. They'll be very excited about it. And I'm sure a lot of them listen to your podcast because your husband,

that we've been talking about, is also a big time fan fave as well. So hopefully we can have you back. Maybe the two, I know you guys don't really like to perform together, but maybe the two of you together. The most prolific podcast couple there is. Next week, next week, hey, if this was too much for you next week, a smart guys. So smart guys and smart guys. We'll see you next week. Bye.