Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 123 - Cryptozoology Guys with Gareth Reynolds

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Check out Gareth’s new show Next We Have on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube! ***In order to accommodate our guest we recorded this show out of order so that is why we keep acting like this episode was Chris's first week back because it was**** Chris is back but we also had another cohost Dead Blossom Jesse to talk Cryptozoology Guys. These are the guys who are scientists and don't you dare calling it pseudoscience. Is it possible that there are still dinosaurs? Why is Bigfoot always knocking trees down and what the hell do Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles slippers have to do with cryptids?  There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashow and I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I'm Brian and my co-host this week, DBJ. Hi, buddy. How you doing? Oh, man. So, what? Hey, shut up. I haven't even introduced you. People aren't supposed to know you're here yet. This is like when you're like, you take a little break from work and they got a guy filling in for you, but now he's like, everyone likes him a lot more than you seems like yeah, yeah I'm just excited for this new era of guys with the three amigos basically That's gonna be so it's gonna be so exciting to for all of your listeners to get to know me really really well over the course

Of the next six months, but I was excited about that. Thank you for being here DBJ Obviously Chris is back so we don't need to talk about him and our guests this week So it fucking excited because he's another guest that impresses my wife Gareth Reynolds. Hi Gareth Hi, well, first of all, that's great. And also it's nice to be here for the first episode of the full rebrand Yeah, yeah, you know Chris it's huge when I hold on a second Sorry, well, no, no, but I just I'm saying it's it's nice. It's nice to be here for the new energy Chris I know you're excited. I know there was a money

I've cut the money a different way now Chris makes a little less DBJ makes a little more and I made it all the money Dispute is to bring in a third party Yeah, I just think we don't have all we could talk about a lot of this stuff off the podcast or whatever I don't know what there is to talk. I mean, it's not my world, but I don't know what there is to talk about quite That's fair. So this week I Wanted to get a good fun episode and bring Chris back Gareth I wanted to give him a big episode because he's a big guest for the show.

Okay. Just listen, let's not, you feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on him in the beginning here. My wife is so impressed and we have to say that every time. Every time it's a guest that would impress people in my family. I really like to let them know that. Because then when they listened to the episode, they'll be like, Oh, he knew that was impressive. It's a guest that would impress people in my family. I really like to let him know that yeah Because then when they listen to the episode they're like, oh he knew that was impressive. Yeah He talked about that to me. He talks about it to me a lot as well like Doesn't like you my wife I talked to my wife I do talk to my wife as well, but I got your wife

I sent your wife a nice happy Mother's Day on Mother's Day and she was very appreciative of that actually All right enough of this shit. We are doing crypto zoology guys. Now. This is a different sort of episode Because I'm not gonna do Sasquatch guys My plan here is to talk about guys that consider themselves crypto zoologists so that later on I can do a sasquatch guys episode Maybe a Loch Ness monster guys episode like it's I cleaved off a tiny little area I made it a very narrow focus because they're weird guys kind of odd I would have thought you would have got cutting a huge slab off for our massive guest Gareth But that's cool. If you just want to go with the tiny sliver it better be good. That's all I'll say

It's there's some very weird guys these guys are I? Hate to say this everybody, but these guys are kind of strange. I'm just gonna say it They have some very sad right at all They they have some very strange politics, and they also have some very strange beliefs about what's going on in the world I do think I do think that you're right that there is excuse me There is a difference between like a cryptid guy and a bigfoot guy and then the crypto zoology guys is a specific Kind of thing maybe explain it to me then because I'm not sure that I understand the the distinction. I'm the Chris Yeah, well, do you want to take a brighter? I can get my

Brian you take it and then DBJ you can come in and say what it actually I'll explain it in the way. I see it in my mind is like We kind of goof on guys who follow Bigfoot around. I want to be clear I don't believe in Bigfoot that made it sound like I believe that there are guys who follow Bigfoot around I want to be clear I don't believe in Bigfoot that made it sound like I believe that there are guys that follow Bigfoot around and Bigfoot is real But there are guys who do that that follow follow around like trying to find them essentially they're out in the in the wilderness Because that's where he is. He's in the wilderness and they're out there just explore which isn't that bad Hiking and stuff, you know

My favorite big foot thing that they think is true about Bigfoot is that Bigfoot loves pushing over trees. That's like, I did not know that. That's huge for them about Bigfoot is that big feet love going up to rotten trees and pushing them over. At least they're rotten. So they're hulky. I have a friend who actually he he's evolved over the years, but he's a bit of a bigfoot chaser his name's Steve Berg and

And he's he's on My podcast all the time because he's always got updates on Things but even just this last weekend. He was out there and you'll be like Like his views evolve over the years to now where I'll be like, so what is he? And he's like, honestly, I think he's an interdimensional traveler. That's the thing. Whoa. Now, now, Garrett, the cryptozoology community would be furious at him for that. That is not, they don't want to hear about dimensions.

It's a science. These are scientists we're talking about. Right. Okay. That's true. Fair. They're scientists that are trying to discuss. There's a big dispute. Let me explain the dispute first. There's one side that's like, I think these Bigfoot's might

be interdimensional beings. That's like your friend. That's like your friend. Yeah. And then there's the other side that's like, you're making us all fucking look bad by saying you think Bigfoot are interdimensional beings. Oh yeah, they're like, we just want, yeah, we don't want people to think we're crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like how Christian, like people who go to church on Sunday feel about like Pentecostalists. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You gotta stop with the snake stuff. It's like, we're just trying to have a hang on a Sunday.

Would you please? You're going crazy. Come on. They're like, no, poison doesn't affect us. Yeah. So now we're gonna see both sides of the argument, obviously, but the first thing I found, because I was like, there's no way anybody believes this.

When you say that you know somebody's gonna believe it in the back of your mind, you know somebody's gonna believe it, but this guy your mind. You know somebody's gonna believe it, but this guy just says, what happen if scientists find living dinosaur? Well, I'm not trying to bring it all back to my buddy, but when I asked him what he was doing last weekend, because he was going to Wisconsin,

he told me he was investigating a pterodactyl attack that happened in 1913. That's fucking amazing. That's still a while ago though. I don't know how long they live, but it's like that doesn't mean they're around now. No, no, it's true. And the extinction could have happened

in the last hundred years or so. The extinction of it. We have, but he goes, it's highly unlikely that living non-avian dinosaurs still survive today. But let's say a group of, by the way, it's highly unlikely, I know that people think birds are dinosaurs. They're not. It's their birds. Alligators and stuff though. No, they're alligators. Find a living dinosaur in central Africa rainforest and even taking

pictures and DNA samples of that living dinosaurs. How would all the scientists in the world react and how would the dinosaur fandom react so we're looking at the dinosaur fandom would be overjoyed I think they would be excited yeah what would that what would be negative about that for them that would be the vast of day of the fantasy would be shattered right like the romance might go away It was like if it was like really kind of unimpressive. Oh, yeah, that'd be the best Eating its own shit Christ

What's that thing called the I forget what they're called it was on some some South Park episode. Oh, yeah, I know you're talking about No, it's like the dumbest alien ever yeah You guys remember South Park? Yeah That would be the best if they found one and they're like Jesus Christ Scuzzle but if they found scuzzle, but that was their big thing and it had his leg was made out of Patrick Duffy And he just walked around but anyway Yeah, I used to think that was a funny a show. I did too I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard in my life when that was funny because back then it was funny

And then it just got so much funnier that when you watch it, you're like that wasn't their best stuff But yeah, Patrick Duffy though. I didn't even really know you know what I mean, but I was like Patrick Duffy has his leg Oh my god, but I didn't really know Patrick Duffy Idealistically if we somehow did find living dinosaurs I would hope there would be laws and regulations to protect the animals so we can learn as much as possible And then a guy responds with a genuine concern as long as it's not a meat eater Yes, again. This is these are the same kind of guys. We encounter them quite a bit in different areas

where they just watch a lot of movies or whatever, and then they envision themselves. All of their fantasies are just movies that they've seen. You know, they're like, they take different plot elements from different films. Maybe I'm reading too much into it when he says, as long as it's not a meat eater, but him just saying that little thing implies to me that he's imagining

Himself having to defend himself against this dinosaur Running away and some sort of you know, possibly he's on the toilet and then the Tyrannosaurus Rex tears I saw a documentary that actually showed this scene just like that one That's exactly what I was thinking like Like the minute somebody's like, the minute they announce, oh, there's a meat eating dinosaur and it's alive, like millions of people picture themselves as Newman sitting on the toilet getting eaten by the tyrannosaurus. It's not Newman who was sitting on the toilet. He wasn't the one sitting on the toilet.

Oh, the lawyer. You fucking movie boon. Yeah, I was the lawyer. Once again, reaffirming that I am the movie guy on the toilet, dipshit. He wasn't the one sitting on the toilet, yeah. Oh, the lawyer. You fucking movie boob. Yeah, I was the lawyer. Once again, reaffirming that I am the movie guy on the podcast. I love movies. This guy goes, I mean, there are a lot of animals that eat meat and even hunt humans that we try to preserve. I don't think a dinosaur would be any different. Tigers.

Tigers do hunt humans, but that's one only. That's a weird way to phrase it. They hunt humans. They're not making a plan to free they hunt humans. They're not like making a plan I mean they'll attack humans I would say I would say tigers in in like villages and stuff that once they realize that they can kill humans and how easy It is compared to other They'll start hunting like there are man-eating tigers that have killed like hundreds of like they they really do start hunting

Humans for sure, but that's only one breed Of animal like that's only one animal well. He does get three answers well He gets an etc to bear sharks lions etc, and then the guy just respond He doesn't even say tigers he doesn't even use the word. I think he thinks lions and tigers the same thing Yeah, which they are okay? Yeah, basically Doesn't even use the word. I think he thinks lions and tigers the same thing. Yeah. Which they are. Yeah. Basically, roughly.

Lions do it sometimes as well, yeah. The guy that says that goes, no. As his response. Wow. No, they can't. No. So, yeah, he goes, a guy goes, there really isn't that much data on dinosaur behavior.

And going back to the original point, discovering a dinosaur in modern ages would call a lot of science into question, as well as to give opportunities to learn about new things. At the end of the day, it's still an animal. It could probably be captured and kept in captivity long enough and tagged for geo location. So yeah, pretty sure conservation would be at the top of any scientist's mind.

And our guy responds and goes not to be aggressive But I did not ask that question Listen this isn't a great I when I was a little kid this was my number one fantasy that I had I'm not even kidding. Was just seeing a podcast. That me too. I was in the same boat. I didn't understand what my vision was. It did happen. It did. And it was like I was- Seeing a dinosaur. Seeing a dinosaur in like, just like I would drive down the highway or whatever and I would just imagine like looking out and seeing a Tyrannosaurus rex, like what that would be. Like I just thought that was the coolest idea. But I think I grew out of it when I was like about nine or ten years when I started smoking

You yeah, yeah exactly Do you think I feel good to like run over a dinosaur like a velociraptor and obviously it's a meat eater so it's ethical I I would definitely not like that. I can't imagine like some people who live in I think I can't imagine hitting What's a threat. It's a threat Well, here's a less of a conversation. Here's here's a lot of people's here's a lot of people's Responses in a row here first the guy goes It would obviously be reclassified as a living species and a lot more is an amazing word to be using Obviously is an amazing word to be using in any part of this conversation.

Well, I love the next slide. He goes, and a lot more expeditions for cryptids would be funded across the world. Yeah, it would be a huge funding, obviously. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it'd be awesome. It would be it would be and then we'd start discovering all of them. And because, you know, they've and how about maybe we can make the first one that we find, we could make it like a big star, and then maybe the other ones would be, they would want to come out.

They wouldn't be as scared to come out. Oh, we can't conge him? Yeah. Oh, great. Oh, wow. This guy's a superstar. Maybe the Ohio grass man, there's some room for him in the...

He's a judge on the voice. The Ark... It's time for the Arkansas Skunk Ape to show up. there's some room for him in the. Yeah, he's a judge on the voice. It's time for the Arkansas skunk cape to show up. The skunk cape keeps turning his chair during the hosting segment. I don't think he understands the point of the voice. He's just pressing the button over and over and over again. Are you trying to say that you want Carson Day? We're very confused into what you're saying. Skunk cape. Jesus Christ, he's masturbating again.

He's masturbating with his shit, cut to commercial. Leading scientists would definitely cope hard on years of saying it's scientifically impossible. Yeah, yeah. By saying it was scientifically impossible. It was hard. God, to throw it in their face would be such a great moment, though.

We goes, and by saying something like, well, they might not really be dinosaurs so easy he knows what they were gonna say immediately like You know these aren't dinosaurs and it's like we all know they're fucking dinosaur scientists get ahead of it Yeah, I would go it would go and extinct in a few years for trophy hunting and medicinal bones Fuck that is shot few years for trophy hunting and medicinal bones. What the fuck? That is shi- what is this? Not real.

Medicinal bones? That was a CBS show, wasn't it? That is a shocking- the specificity is phenomenal. That's so amazing. That blew my mind because like, the idea of it just grinding up dinosaur bones and being like take this and it might do something for you. Yeah exactly the amount of like trial and error that you'd have to have so many bones I guess they're huge. I guess they're huge. It would be so human to find out that they had medicinal purposes and just over harvest like

the two we found so quickly that we're like, well, that's the end of that This guy goes I think the government would hide their existence and then he gets a response from a guy that's like which government and why He goes to not scare people and I think all governments probably would I think they're try hiding a lot of things from people Yeah, and he gives a reply goes I don't think they give a shit would be so much more effort to do that than to just say, Hey, look, there are a couple big lizards, much like the already surviving big lizards the government doesn't care about. It seems like you guys make stuff up to make the world more interesting. And he gets a

reply that says, maybe you're right about the first part, but no, I mean, who knows what it's really out there. I try keeping an open mind. These guys have the most open minds you've ever heard of in your life. Maybe too open even. Obviously, for stuff like vaccine, their mind is very closed, but they're very open. Well, that's the problem. You only have so much openness in your mind. So if you're super open for that stuff, you have to close off other parts of it. It also seems like it's close to them being wrong or stupid, like they don't wanna let that

into their brain either. I think you'd find a different take on the vaccines if it had dinosaur bone mushed in it. Wait, wait, does this have dinosaur bones in it? I want all of it. You know, Moderna's got dactyl arm. Joke and one says and finally he goes Instead of saying that the earth must not be millions of years old

They would simply say the dinosaurs were surprisingly resilient to extinction Capable of surviving as is for million years and always just readapt to confirm your pre-existing bias Soft tissue is found in dinosaur fossils instead of saying well This is proof the dinosaurs existed closer to our time than previously thought. They simply say this proof soft tissue can in fact survive in fossils for millions of years. So this guy legitimately believes we have found dinosaurs

in their fossils. The next thing I found that was really good because I had to read us a good thing first so that I could read this section where the guy goes, the Wikipedia pages on cryptozoology are really biased. And so I read it. And the reason they're mad is because it starts with crypto zoology as a pseudo science and subculture That searches for and studies unknown legendary extinct creatures. Who's present whose present extinction is disputed or unsubstantiated

so That's the part that makes them very mad seems fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah and I guess I'm confusing because so what's the thing with dinosaurs then? Well, they're cryptids. They're they're not extinct. Oh But oh I see they're saying that dinosaurs still exist because dinosaurs did exist That's a little different than some of the stuff we're talking about. You don't know anything about the other stuff, by the way No, I know but you might have existed I know but we have like pushing over all those trees Think about the rotten ones might fall over other

Rotten tree falling over in the force and they said he's been here Forest combine when those bigfoot see those rotten trees Doing three-pointers. They're just dashing at them. Listen, yeah, they could, they could, they could exist. I'm just saying we have like proof that dinosaurs exist. And then it, I just also, we have dinosaur bones, right? Yeah. Now that's a theory I've had frequently about the-

So why don't they grind those ones down and try to see if they have any medicinal purposes. Very smart. Actually, shit. That's the only reason I would think a dinosaur, finding a dinosaur would be interesting to me is because we found all these bones and we've just assumed that they go together

in the way that we put them together. Well, they do that every now and then. They'll be like, actually, that was. They change it. It doesn't have a tail. Yeah, they change it. The big thing is like feathers. They've added feathers to a lot of them. If you go to the whole vibe, I'll go check out at Science World, they'll have these dinosaur exhibits

and yeah, they're changing constantly. It's like, this is actually what a T-Rex looked like. It didn't look the same as what it looked like at the last exhibit. So that makes sense. I want, they could be way off still. Definitely. I know the bones could be in any configuration way off still definitely. The bones could be in any configuration that you like, they don't have to just be in that one configuration. They could be in, they could be a big blobby sack full of bones. Just awesome.

Yeah. I would, that's what I would like. And I'm going to become the guy that thinks that. Yeah. Oh, you're going to be a blob blob. The blobasaurus. A blob truther. Yeah.

I think they're all blobs full of Bumper sticker that says dinosaurs were just blobs with bones and then like a website prove me wrong Dinosaurs were just blobs with bones Do you know do you guys think that the t-rex's arms were actually like that because I don't hope there's any way Oh, cuz it was huge fucking arms. I'm telling you. like that because I don't think there's any way. I don't think they had huge fucking arms. I'm telling you, I don't think, they were like a bird though. That's why, I think it's possible

because they were like birds. They were like big giant walking birds. It's like when you're putting something together and you start kind of skipping the directions and you have a few bits left over, but the thing still looks fairly put together. So they just had all these bones and then they were just like, there's like 40 bones left, but they're tiny and they're like,

give them a couple of arms. Yeah. Yeah. I think happened. I think it's like when you, when you figure out that Legos and Bionicle sometimes click together and see you make some freak. I love Legos. So anyway, yeah, I do. I love Legos Maybe I'm getting rid of them all hey again. That's that's a still I'm getting rid of them all okay Oh, Gareth. Oh Gareth. Oh Gareth. No. I mean he's like a full-on Lego guy who spends like thousands of dollars on Lego Yeah, not anymore. I'm about Legos in 2025 so anyway thousands of dollars on Lego. He has not anymore.

I bought Legos in 2025. So anyway, here is he paid. He paid $800. He'll pay like $800 for a set. And show this guy goes. Braggs are troubling. Crypto zoology is the study of hidden animals in cases like recent recently extinct animals.

It is scientific. We know they existed recently and we know about them from other descriptions. So seeking extent members with a clear focus makes sense. However, with some notable cryptids, paranormal abilities or origins are inseparable from them. The chupacabra being an alien or genetic experiment as opposed to a specialized natural animal is endemic to the discipline. Now, this guy sounds kind of smart and what he's saying is,

oh, an animal just became extinct, what if we find one? Then it's not extinct anymore. That's what he sees cryptozoology as, which doesn't seem that wacky, you know what I mean? Yeah. So he's not talking about Bigfoots and Loch Ness monsters. No, he's, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And you know, one of the goofier ones I found was a guy who found these big bugs that looked like, they were like this big for the listeners can't see it, but it's a big size, trust me. It's like a huge dick. It's like.

No. No. No. No. It's like That's one thing I know about doing about four or five inches Imagine with the biggest your dick's ever been dick and it's largest 15 inches soft

Fathom size go ahead. So anyway, they have wings and they're bugs They're very obviously fucking bugs. The guy took a picture of. But he's going around telling everybody they're fairies. You can't do that. Oh, fuck. You just can't do that. You can't. It makes cryptozoology look bad. Oh, man, that's awesome.

Oh, I found fairies like and then Guys showed you a June bug like look. I found a tinkerbell in my yard The best part is is people are like as fucking guys making us look like a bunch of idiots So now like I read a hundred posts where guys were like, yeah, I I follow cryptos wallah G I am just not I don't believe in fairies like they have to now say. No, none of us do. This guy's an idiot. And it's so it sucks for them because holding up some ants.

He's like a wizard. But but a lot of them just believe in the one thing because that one guy made of that video of the dude with The suit on walking in the forest that's basically yeah Hmm sorry a guy grabs a couple bugs off the ground and says I found the kids that guy shrank Babies honey they shrunk him and he goes same with certain animals we have today hell just a little over a hundred years ago now You guys are not gonna believe this and I think it might not be true But then our listeners are gonna be like, oh, it's true

Same with certain animals we have today hell just a little over a hundred years ago People didn't think the gorilla was a legit animal and all we had were tales of hairy mountain man from the local tribes of the regions Oh, I don't know that can't be true. I don't think that's correct at all So great to not know if that's true because I'm like that cannot fucking I don't believe it true I do know that orangutan like in the local language translates to like forest person Yeah, which is true, but I think that that's just like a colloquialism like it's just like obviously that's what you have they weren't like That's what that's why gingers have such a bad rap Just like there's a bunch of gingers in the fucking forest that is a crazy that cannot be true

1847 is what Google AI is saying but Google AI is saying but Google AI is bullshitting. It is the absolute worst. It is still quite late, but I would love to be in the era where they were like, there's real hairy dudes in the forest. That guy gets out there. Tough to communicate with. They're dicks. Very aggressive. They're fucking dicks.

They're such dicks, dude. I went up there with a barrel of ale. I was like, let's break some fucking bread dude There's one guy he fully fucking charged at me. Smash the barrel. He smashed the barrel I don't know if that's like a thing they're doing but maybe we can exploit that later, but he smashed the barrel of ale Dude is fucking bullshit man. Do not if you're gonna go up there do not go up there to have a good time Got the whole group of them and they tore one of my friends right apart. I was like, hey, what's up? What are you guys up to?

And they, this one dude lost his mind on me. One of them was honestly seemed like super crazy. Dude, I don't know what was going on with that guy that day, but he must have had a shit day. Like we're all struggling I mean it's a hundred years ago like the guys it's 1920 you know we're all it's everybody smells bad it's all fucked up yeah these guys smell worse than us and then this guy this guy is a little strange I'm just gonna say it right away his name CB guy 1983 and he says, to me, it's someone like,

it's somewhat like Hitler. That's cool. What? Oh, that's good. I believe he faked his death. The man was crazy, not stupid. Hitler? Yeah, people.

That's what he did. He goes, yeah, people say that conspiracy only exists because of, that conspiracy only exists because of Stalin. What would Stalin have to gain by saying Hitler faked his death? What? See, that's the thing with like, I kind of feel for them when they're saying

the bugs are fairies guys pissing in the pool that they're all trying to swim in. Cause it is like that, there's stuff like that today where you're like, look, just don't get so crazy because there's a lot of fucked up shit going on. We're getting ripped off, you know, where all this stuff. But then when they start going crazy, like, no, no, shut the fuck up. It's like at any protest you go to, there's always someone who has a sign that's insane and you're like, oh, and they're on your side and they're like,

we're on your side. We're together. Yeah. And you're like, no, they're weird. Got. Yeah. Like the weird guys. Hulk Hogan is Donald Trump. You're like, put your goddamn sign down or the guys that have the signs with a lot of swastikas on them. That always is like, let's leave that off the signs. Please. You're going to, sorry, are you going to rallies where people on your side have swastikas on their sides? Yeah, I have a picture of a guy. I have a picture of a guy from 2016

when we were out walking around in Cleveland during the Republican National Convention. And he just had a sign with a shitload of swastikas on it, and it said, just Trump. It didn't say anything else. So I was like, is this guy like, does he like Trump? I think I'm on the wrong side of this event. Yeah, I understand.

So what you're saying is they were probably anti-Trump, trying to say that Trump was a Nazi or whatever, but they're just walking around. Yeah, yeah. He was anti-Trump. I wanna clarify that, because he was like walking around. Yeah, yeah. He was anti-Trump. I want to clarify that, because he was walking around yelling stuff, and I just wanted to go up to him and say, I love Hitler.

I love Hitler. Yeah, just wearing a shirt that just says the worst shit ever, and on the back, it's just like Donald Trump actually said this. Yeah. Yeah. My sign that says, let's get him in office, I'm saying, let's get him. Like let's-

Yeah. When he's in office, we need to get him. Well, get his ass, you know? Yeah. It's very funny. It was, I just, you want to go up to a guy like that and say, your sign's kind of not doing, it's not sending the right message. Yeah.

It's like to a smaller degree, it's any of those like, it's not sending the right message. Yeah, it's like to a smaller degree, it's any of those like you're mocking the mega hats or whatever and it's just like anyone who's not super close to you obviously. Wearing a mega hat ironically. Yeah. That goes power, the excuse to arm and infiltrate more countries under the specter of Hitler.

But I'm sorry, how does that relate to cryptozoology? Great question. Great question. We'll get an? Great question. Great question. We'll get an answer to that. Main question. It relates in the idea that these started off with witnesses. People have seen these creatures just like there are

witnesses to seeing Hitler alive after his supposed death. What? Okay, so what he's basically saying is the same as like the Elvis thing where it's just like, you know, I mean. You're not supposed, you can't believe that though, Chris. Like, you know what I mean? Like as the guy, you know? When you look through some of the bones that are Elvis,

the way he was constructed, I think is actually a little bit different. Now he very well could have been a blob. A lot of archeologists, when they actually put together Elvis again, it looks quite different. I'm actually worried if we ever find Elvis, we're gonna start grinding him up for medicinal bones

His final concert he did kind of seem like a blob with bones To the man who I who I very much you know, I it was Around him. Yeah. Well, I did do a live show where I sang Elvis songs because I wouldn't watch that movie on mushrooms And it really really connected with me And the Elvis medicinal bones turned you into a guy that can rock extra hard just like a glazed ham It's a rockin supplement, you know, so you it helps this guy goes So it helps this guy goes That these guys argue again the guy finally goes that's the problem too skeptical again too egotistical again as a society

We have to see to believe like the natives who saw mokele momembe. They know what they saw yet here we come Saying unless we see it. It doesn't exist now the reason I read these is because I did find a guy, a new guy, a brand new weird guy, and that's always an exciting moment. We have a giant pubic mess, which is a guy that farts too bad for the fart subreddit. Yeah, Gareth, are you familiar with the giant pubic mess in his work?

No, no, but I'm obviously happy to hear about him. As the third chair, I do, of course, I'm obviously happy to hear about him. As the third chair, I do of course know who Giant Pubic Mess is. Yeah, you of course know Giant Pubic Mess. You have to if you want to be the guy's co-host. That's like day one shit. We all know him. So I'm excited to together present him to Gareth.

I'm excited. The Fartologist is like, sorry, I just want to mention that before, we have to mention the fartologist, who sort of is the other main farder online, who's an older British man who will, he points the camera at his ass and then farts it to it, and then he turns it towards, and he looks like Benjamin Franklin, and he just gives this little smile after.

He's so proud of himself. And he's my- When you said the word fartologist, Gareth just looked down, like straight down. Well, it's just- And like his head sort of lulled to the side. I think it is that if you're talking about which one of those two guys sounds professional, fartologist sounds like an occupation

when you hear a giant, what is it, giant mess? A giant pubic mess. A giant pubic mess. A giant pubic mess is kind of like the bad boy of the, yeah. By the way, the name reflects it, because that sounds like the tough guy. Yeah, a fartologist is like an older kind of wise sage, kind of like, you know, he's been around for, he did a Q&A that was very interesting,

sitting on a pub bench, a picnic bench outside of a pub and he answered some big questions about like how He got into farting and stuff like that. The giant people would never do that He's just in his room blasting farts and antagonizing the fart subreddit. Yeah, so filming them as well Oh, yeah, he's he's a white guy with dreadlocks. Oh, that's good. Okay, really long ones, too. They're beautiful and Oh, that's good. Okay, really long ones too. They're beautiful and He is in the fart subreddit and his farts are too gross for the subreddit So every once in a while people would be like dude, please stop posting your farts, which that's all that goes on in there Yeah, that's crazy. By the way, and then he responds what they're looking for Yeah, he did he he replies defiantly and says check out this big wet

17 second gasser and then people are like come on man. It's too much. So the giant pubic mass is like a Activist where the partologist is more of a non biased. Well, he just had a partologist It doesn't bother people. He doesn't upset people except of course our our listeners A lot of them are quite upset just hearing an old man fart over and over again But but as far as like the fart community there, I think they're 100% pleased with him He's got he loves to it's my favorite or Indian blasters It's my favorite or Indian blasters. That's yeah, he does. Oh, he did.

And then he he'll he'll lay some pretty. He's are I look as I'm coming in cold. Obviously, I didn't do as much research as I should have for the show. But there's just a lot coming at me when you're just kind of name dropping what sounds like punch out characters. Yeah. Well, this guy, this guy's name is Blaster. He does say Indian Blaster farts. This guy's name is Blaster. He does say Indian Blaster farts. This guy's name is The Crazy Academic, who I found.

Okay. It's the fart town. I don't know what college he went to. I'm going to tell you that right now. I went looking. He doesn't seem to have gone to college, at least that I can find, but he does say this The irony is most cryptids most likely or government super weapons Just on the fact that there's always found they're always found a few miles near a lab or military base It's off limits to civilians and the case of Mothman

and the case and the case of Mothman Curious case of people versus Mothman Yeah, curious case of Mothman. The people versus Mothman. Yeah, we all remember. This is again, so I was going to say that he's in a movie, but he's just, he might even be doing a joke. Some of these people are doing a joke. It's really hard to tell. No, this guy's not doing a joke.

That is such a comforting thing to tell yourself. But this guy is serious. I tell myself that all the time, but the real horrifying part about it is that the you really can't tell. And that's because yeah, the stuff that the real stuff they're saying is so crazy that it's sometimes hard to discern. Yeah, this is this guy's not joking. He goes in the case of the Mothman, you had a

government associated TNT plant with very toxic chemicals so toxic, they had warning signs posted. So a mutated bar now with a large wingspan isn't out of the question either. I would personally as a, I'm not an academic though. You know what I mean? And I don't think I'm crazy. How many people think in this country think that pollution works like it does in the Simpsons? It just makes things grow eyes and wings and stuff.

Yeah, and it's just cancer. And then it's like, man, I'm gonna be able to jump so high. It just makes you a little sick and all the fish like float to the surface and that's it. Yeah. Toxic derived epigenetic and genetic mutants with deformities and intentional genetic experiments by military industrial complex.

DARPA can probably explain like 99% of cryptid sightings. I've said this in another thread. I personally saw the star cat. Wait, wait, wait, wait, sorry. What a cliffhanger. Wait, sorry. I just got you off at the worst time. Just a great segue. I just personally, I've seen the wampus cat I think he's I tell you this guy's joking these he's not joking. There's nothing. There's not one called the wampus cat Yeah, there is one the one called the wampus cat. You've never heard of the wampus cat the wampus cat

Wait, it's just like it looks like it's just a Mountain lion well he says personally I've seen the one with this cat It was a legit black cat with six legs. It was an obvious mutant with birth defects. No other way to explain that oh It just has six legs. It looks like it looks like a Mountain lion, but it has six legs. Yeah, I've said he got two tails. I believe Intimidating name ever for a cryptid man. It sounds Seriously sounds like dr. Su that like sounds like action or dr. Su yeah

Childish the wampus cat or like Alice in Wonderland Yeah, he goes none of this is pseudoscience though. We have the genetic technology to create hybrids now I'm sure you heard of xeno transplants where they create big human hybrid embryos to harvest organs But it's obvious they're taking it to the next level and see my uncle had that done in Turkey He was Sorry, it's actually cheaper to fly there to do it. Yeah in the long run you save up like five thousand dollars. It's crazy I'm getting dreadlocks there. I'm gonna go there and get Yes, well no it's corn I want to look like one of the guys in corn smart I always wanted to

Like the monkey no not like monkey head His hairline's not great he needs to Monkey's hair like I've seen him, but let me see yeah No, he's head head has no hair head like has the fakest hair you've ever seen in your entire life, and it's MUNKY Gareth yeah got him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a head guy really I want my head to look like head Yeah, I don't know if you'd say your head guy. I'd say you're more of a titty sucker Oh, Jesus Christ. Chris is back. Yep, Chris is definitely back.

Now I have a guest that I'm super excited about that I've always wanted to podcast with and Chris is like, you know, he sucks on titties. That's what I always do. If ever I know Brian has a guest on that he's like a little nervous, maybe it's somebody that he really likes, I always bring up the fact that when he was younger, he wouldn't even do anything other than suck on his girlfriend's titties for three hours straight Now the Legos make sense Clean

I mean the titty thing anymore oh why not he has a wife he has a wife now and he has a child and stuff so there is some you know he has suck on titties at all Brian sure I mean yes are you gonna fall you're gonna relapse if you get no it's like I can't smoke cigarettes anymore you like it's been three days my god my boss have been calling me I'm sure he goes Mutants have also been seen have been seen we seen weird colored animals from radiation exposure near Chernobyl But that's just radiation.

So like, did we? I would love to know. I mean, I've read a lot about Chernobyl. I think there is some like deformed and there is you can see, you can like see some images of some animals with deformities, and I think that can happen through radiation most definitely. Oh yeah. That's a completely different thing. But that's different than saying,

we've got a new species over here. I saw this one video of this huge green guy that was from Chernobyl. And he was like, he was strong. He was like way stronger than a human being was. And he was enormous and muscular. Did he run into trees and like In a tackle dummies. Yeah, he was drop-kicking rotten trees to show off his strength

Interesting. We might have a green quatch We got green quatch. We got a green quatch. I always wanted us blonde Sasquatch That's like always the thing I hope and I'm singing a musical in the forest about how lonely he is. Yes Perfectly blonde. Yeah, so Brian he smoked cigarettes and he has the blonde Stain of the tobacco. That's what I want. You're saying you want to air you want an Aryan? Was this the guy at the Cleveland rally? This he goes, uh, he goes Wikipedia is controlled opposition. It's run by people who want us to see a certain narrative

so they can't be trusted anyway with this topic. We could argue all day about pareidolia. What it is or what it is. I don't think I could. I could. I'd have the packet in pretty early, I think. Hour three, hour four of arguing about pareidolia. I don't think I'd make breakfast pretty early. I think our three our four of arguing about pareidolia I don't think I'd make breakfast to be honest

I got not a lot to say about it what is or isn't pseudoscience et cetera But the point is certain angles need to be explored for cryptids and the mutant hybrid angle is way more rational these than these Nonsense supernatural angles rooted in mysticism, which is fantasy. I argue that these so-called cryptid experts all the time on why they think they're seeing, on what they think they're seeing, and I don't believe any of it's supernatural. I stopped believing in the supernatural

the deeper I looked into various topics. Another explanation is exotic pets, which escape all the time and end up breeding and creating a population out in the wild in an area They wouldn't be normally seen now Nobody replied to this Except cuz that's long right? I mean that guy just went off He thought nobody replied to it except for one guy and his name is the crazy academic. Oh

You know You act as if the government are omniscient gods that aren't fallible. If that was the case, half the conspiracies we know to be confirmed wouldn't exist. So that's that's something that's tough. I think that that's I think that that first guy is like he's saying we need better explanations for this stuff rather than like, you know. Because now he says they couldn't properly take down the Twin Towers without people asking questions. What makes you think they could stop hybrid experiments?

So his proof of experiments like this is that people said, I think 9-11 was 9 11 was staged. Like, so he thinks that those people are right and that they screwed up. So I think, I don't think I understand at all what's going on at this. And he goes, by the way, look into the Montauk monster. It wasn't a legend cryptid that was created at the close at the, at the close by Plum Island animal research center, which also created genetically engineered ticks. There's no evidence Lyme disease is natural if you look closely.

It sure looks like a pig-human hybrid that was allowed to grow past a juvenile state. Well, first of all, the Montauk Monster. Now there's a name and there's a reveal. Yeah, I know that one. Also, the idea that if you're going to create something as some kind of bio weapon on humans, you're gonna go ticks.

Yeah. They're these little fucking annoying things that potentially a certain subsect of them will give people a fairly nagging condition that can be kind of medicated, but you know, that'll stop them. Yeah. Well, the next thing I saw that I found very interesting was there is an international cryptozoology museum in Portland, Maine.

Oh, well that's a great town. I didn't know about this. I didn't either. I went there and the only thing that the only thing I remember about it really is that because I'm only there for One night to do like a live show and then we left the next day But it was snowing by the way, and it was like late April. We left New York It was like 80 degrees and then we got there and it was fucking snowing. I think what you're saying is true It's a little little questionable that yeah, and but we get there and I go to do my laundry and It's a blue lives matter laundromat. I couldn't find another laundry mat, but it was a themed laundry mat

They were like whites only It was shocking because Yeah, all over the place. All over the place. Those flags were there. All kinds of bad. You still did the laundry though. I had to.

I needed laundry. What? Imagine somebody like, like a listener of the podcast going by and like through the windows, snapping shots of you. You were doing street fight at the time. Yeah. Oh man. Snapping photos of you in a blue lives fucking matter.

That would be that would have ruined you. People would have made you. Yeah, it could have. I guess that's the other thing. Yeah, lean in. So the Cryptozoology Museum, first we're going to read Richard M's review, which is a one star review.

And he says, maybe the dumbest part of this place is in their title. They claim to be international I tried hard to find out more about this place after visiting but see but see this is the only location in the world Yeah, it's real international. Oh my god this guy's wait You don't have to you can just name Company Wait a second. You don't have to, you can just name your company anything. Of all the objections. Are you telling me that this is not, wait, you're not the best smoothie place in the world? You don't have the top smoothies on earth? What's going on? But your name of your

business, this guy is just the dumbest idiot ever who believes every name of every business. You're not world champs cuz you won the Super Bowl You're American champs I'm trying to find proof that this is a war I love that he tried to find proof and like I can't quite figure out like what I Guess the proof would have been that they have another branch. Just another location somewhere. That's all he wants. In another country.

He wants it to be in a different country. He would have been cool with even Canada probably. Or even, you know. Yeah. Couldn't it also just be that they have some of these cryptids from all over the world? Wouldn't that also legally clear you? Well, yes.

Yes, of course. That would be perfectly reasonable. So that, and that to me would be a funnier gripe to be like, these are all American cryptids. He goes, wife and I were walking toward the brewery next door when wife randomly said, hey, let's check it out. I respond, yeah, I know. Jizz shot from my penis.

I respond, saying I just want to grab a beer, but she insisted This is a classic case of wife not always right Classic case of that why I got it. Just say you went do you know what I mean? This is like you don't want to admit he went and he's probably was a prick the whole time Is this a crime? It's a quote for him when he said this is a classic case of wife not always right? That is an exact quote. It's so niche to blame the fibbing sign at a cryptic museum on your wife.

My wife didn't let me get a beer. I wanted a beer and my freaking wife. Yeah, he does really doesn't want to admit now that he even wanted to He needs to give some justification for why he even entered this fucking piece of shit Yeah, why being wrong was suggesting to enter the cryptid museum. Yeah, you didn't pick a winner Objects in this quote museum include stuffed animal yetis that you'll find at any goodwill other cryptic Bunch of ceramic little boys A bunch of ceramic little boys

But that's I mean that's also a crazy thing to say the you find it out any goodwill they're not back Well, where's your Yeti area Yeti zone oh, I hope you have have medium and not just small and large. Do you have any international cryptids? Oh, do you have the lazy boys? Other cryptic, quote, artifacts are no more than printed photos from Wikipedia, which I've heard is a very bad one. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny to do,

like a museum and just print out Wikipedia article. Honestly, what a fucking, just, that is such a great idea for just a show. Just for a month, open a cryptid museum that's just printed photos from Wikipedia. Just to watch and put cameras in every wall and watch these guys be like, the fuck is this? Yeah, put a lot of money into advertising and do like a really big like the number one international museum of the cryptids. The government didn't want you to see what's in here. Oh yeah, that's a great angle.

That'll be $35. Yeah, yeah, just pretend like there's like, yeah, like get some articles written up about like, oh, like the fucking government tried to keep his place from indicating hope. Don't touch any of the monsters hanging on the wall Stapled At the bottom no frame just taped

Yeah, yeah eight by eleven paper printer paper, yeah take because you don't want to fill in the holes But he goes up I'm just you here Go ahead when you hear the complaints about this place guys. You're gonna. It's the real complaints are great He goes he goes The other artifacts are no more modern than printed photos from Wikipedia and a curio cabinet full of camel figures with absolutely no explanation of camel figures with absolutely no explanation. It's the goodwill. It's the goodwill. It's actually goodwill. I can't believe that it's the goodwill.

We were just talking. Yeah, you were right. They have a whole due nation center. Due nation. He goes, I was confused and learned nothing. Well, you left with the same you had then also before we started our quote tour the woman at the desk got super paranoid About us possibly stealing these tags Made the wife leave her purse in the car then they said no photos for copyright

I guess maybe that's the point that is totally just a ridiculous quote museum it got lost on me and kind of wish I spent the now the amount they spend for this is is almost like don't write a review ten dollars to get in on the brewery next door so he only paid fucking ten dollars anyway yeah Yeah, that's or 20 That's why I think that's in today's day and age It's like to pay ten dollars or something You almost have to understand that it's going gonna be not a lot of value for that Yeah, well, uh the next guy gave it two stars. So that's that's a little better

Uh, I really wanted to love this place when my wife and I booked a trip to Portland, Maine It's always wifey isn't it isn't it always one of the places where they want more single guys to come in you know What I mean, they're trying to go just so you know Gary's on the podcast. It's pretty anti single guy Gary's on the podcast. It's pretty anti single guy Sort of attitude just because of our proximity to the pineapple lifestyle the swinger lifestyle Yeah, and that in the swinger lifestyle single guys as you can imagine are Considered for the reviled lower than rats. They are they destroy every situation You can't swing with a single guy cuz they have nothing to lose they charge more money for them a lot of things Absurd amount it'll be like 90 dollars for a single guy like ten dollars for a couple like yeah

They just they just will overrun everything yeah, right everything will become all single guy now you say my dick Yeah, right everything will become all single guy now you say my dick. Yeah, they treat them They really do treat them like they put them in a bar So there's a separate single guy bar. That's almost like a pin that like I like it The couples can go to and grab a little windows where you can kind of go in and look at One and one of the funniest one of the funniest things we we ever read because we're reading reviews of So I love this pride loves this so is that it's my favorite thing is if a single guy goes back to the Playroom with you and have sex with you when you leave the single guy has to like the couple can't stay when the couple leaves

The single guy a single guy into the playroom with you and then you leave cuz the single guys will try to stick around Shoo them out like hey out of here He goes I looked online for some fun quirky things to see while there this totally came to the top of the list It's located in an up-and-coming strip mall very strange like I've never heard of an up-and-coming strip mall. Yeah So that means all the like it's a full like all the Dominican Republic baseball player You gotta see this kid he's got a hell of an arm you got to see this drip mob W it's crazy SW you're not gonna believe what they're doing over here That sounds like something Trump would say yes. Yes

He goes That also houses a craft brewery a distillery and is within walking distance of an outdoor pavilion where life literally every strip mall Yes Describing a strip mall that I see now It is within walking distance of an outdoor pavilion where live music and concerts are hosted during the summer month It will also be right across from the parking lot from Maine's Children Museum once it's officially reopened So not a bad location to be in for the day Now I think that it's possible for something like Bigfoot to exist

Someone like that someone like Bigfoot sentient thank you yeah and he goes so I went went went to this with an open mind I would say though that after coming out of this place I feel like I'm less of a believer now though when so when I went into it so that is they are doing the opposite yeah that might be government that could be government setup this this could be this Make a museum such so dog shit that people like maybe we just did come from apes and that's it Yeah, you've got the kind of mind inquisitive mind Garrett that I really appreciate in this world You know you need to be thinking that way all the time that like this was government first first thought was this government? And this seems clear-cut because

Chase the money Well guys, I think this is where we find out Some some really crucial information a museum might be too formal of a word I'd call this more of a personal collection than anything else the displays need some major rework in the layout and the presentation Artifacts that are supposed to be hard evidence are placed with stuffed animals and toys that really take away from the hard evidence Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles slippers and Bumble the abominable snowman Why is that being sold in the

Not even sold I think it's being displayed To keep going back to the fact that they are in a goodwill, but Goodwill possible Old slippers? Yeah. I love the idea that the guy's also like an action figure guy. And he's just like, well, I don't have only one hobby. Yeah, he's like, I mean, these are fucking very cool slippers. I think, honey, I think people will want to see the slippers

as well. I know they're not exactly part of the cryptids. They're not part of the cryptids, but people will fucking go crazy for them. They just walk by it if they don't like it Bumble the abominable snowman from Rudolph are not artifacts that I would think of displaying in this museum I get why they're there to show their presence. I don't but he does abominable snowman, maybe yeah, isn't that like that's like one of the ones real that was based on a real guy but like but like they have

Rudolph is right. It's just from the horrors of the red-nosed rain Yeah, I get why they're there to show their presence in our media and current culture, but they should be in their own display So that way the messaging is more clear on whether these animals should be seen as believable or not And don't get me started on the fan art. There was way too much fan art displayed all over the exhibits It wasn't even of the creatures that they're trying to showcase It was more about the guy who owned the collection and some of his friends. I mean. So he had a bunch of self-portrait.

He's got a mansion, crayon drawings of himself up on the Kryptonite Museum. That's so funny. But imagine if you're opening one of these museums, how quick, you're like, boy, this space is way bigger than I thought. Like, yeah. You gotta fill it up with something.

Yeah, you're like, I'm gonna throw my Ninja Turtle slippers over there, man. That wall feels full. What else do I have? What could I possibly fill this? Yeah, and then ran out of stuff, so started drawing pictures. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Just this kind of a buffer, some filler. What's the place called? Me? I guess they like me, so I'll draw me. It's called the International Crypto Zoology Museum. Can I say something that I don't understand about this whole, like something that would worry me if I was part of this community is there seems to be

such a hard line that people draw on what's acceptable and what isn't because they're like, no, the Ninja Turtles don't count, that's not real. The Bumble the Snowman isn't real, but it's like some of the cryptids are Equally silly to just look at or think about you guys know about the Loveland Frog Yeah, he's from here. I went looking for him from here. He's from Ohio looking for him I did go looking for him

I went looking for him and I went to Helltown, Ohio where they're supposed to be a huge python Oh, Loveland frog is pretty interesting. It's an interesting Reason I don't believe in him is because he does a dance He's like he does a dance. That's big. That's a big part of it Chris. Have you seen the Loveland frog? I've never I'm not familiar with the Loveland. He's cool Okay, it's a frog that is standing on its back legs and that is the whole idea But as I got abs, is it a big frog it is It's standing up. It comes up to about your waist. Here you go. It's not that big

So you can probably still take it or whatever. I got some love you could get pictures here for you Oh, there is fucking lovelin frog. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's a little jacked up. Yeah, it's okay. He's kind of tight. Yeah, that's the one I go with. That's my favorite image, maybe, of all time. That just looks like a regular frog standing on its hind legs looking kind of confused and... That's a frog going over something, I believe.

And also the comparison to a person, which, like, that's the frog. That's the frog. But yeah. That's how they show you how tall a Pokemon is in the poke decks Yeah, that's not scary. That's not scary at all to me. The only one I want doesn't dance He's not scary at all. He comes out. He fucking dances around seriously dance for your benefit. Yeah He's one of the nice ones or something. Yeah. Yeah, he's very nice for the ogle-pogo, which is a Which is a famous one around here up and up and what Brian going very nice. He's very nice He's the real deal he's

He's so chill, I mean he is so chill He's just like a regular love of frogs Deal He's just like a regular Frog Do you know no, but I know of him and he's like you have friends I see so it's like you're like, oh, yeah people know him like he's been at parties that I've been I never like talked to him We don't talk about parties. I've been just left So he bought everyone shots he started doing his dance It's hard not to like him because he dances that's the part that I like Yeah, like he has to be the nut cuz Bigfoot's pushing over fucking trees Allegedly he's fucking shit legally. Yeah, yeah

Big foot's pushing over trees. That's why I like the love one frog. He comes out He does like a I always picture him having a top hat and a cane, but I'm sure Well, that's I don't let him hear that because seriously he's cool and I don't know that's kind of fucked up to say He doesn't like that that thing he'd be a lot of people say that to him and he doesn't like that That's like the only thing he won't like you won't make a big deal of it, but he'll like it Because he's just this he's a sweetheart he's he laughs it off But it's like why even try to like hurt him like that cuz I Mean you need to fuck with him. Yeah, that's the exact right He's a sweetheart. He laughs it off, but it's like, why even try to hurt him like that? Because I happen to know. He'll be cool about it.

He'll be cool about it. But that doesn't mean you need to fuck with him. That's the exact right answer. Here's a three star review. Lots of Bigfoot foot molds. Lots of Funko Pops in the displays. Wow, that is the lowest bar for three stars. Funko Pops.

Funko Pops. Oh my god. And you know the person who pitched Funko pops being available in the museum saw that was like see that what I fucking tell you Funko pops is a wild thing Because wish it were bigger thing for the cost someone said it reminded them of a garage flea market. Yep What's a garage flea market though that's like just a garage sale sale someone I get goodwill yeah I get that feeling too everything's crammed in there we did see the Vermont cryptic map illustrated by an artist we

know personally though so they kind of know a guy it's crazy but we want to get a five-star a four-star they don't have any five stars but I give you a four star review I'm glad I went there was a lot star, a four star. They don't have any five stars, but I give you a four star review. I'm glad I went. There was a lot there that you'd never see ever anywhere else. Well, I mean, Funko Pops are fucking everywhere. I can, I've seen many of them.

But drawings of the owner? Oh, that's the thing. That's the thing he's talking about is those very specific drawings of the owner that you literally can't see anywhere else. Only place that you could see Hank Anderson with wings that he drew on the wall. That said, I think they could remove some action figures It can't be any place that you can see Hank Anderson with wings. That said, I think they could remove some action figures and taxidermy and use the extra space to showcase the really good stuff.

Look, they don't have the stuff. Is there is no good stuff. Yeah. Idea of the fucking they have a problem. They opened a museum where they don't have enough stuff. You don't put Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles slippers out if you're like, we got enough. They're trying to confuse you with clutter now

at this point it seems like, to sort of overrun your senses. Their big issue is, yeah, they can't get the stuff because the stuff doesn't exist. The stuff is made out. The stuff is made out. It's like when you record an hour, sorry, but it's like when you record an hour and you go out to try new stuff, it's crowd work.

You just need some stuff in between the stuff that's not the best stuff. Yeah, oh, did you do stand up? At one time. No, he does stand up. Oh, that's cool, yeah, yeah, that's cool. I used to do it a little bit. When you don't do it anymore, I don't know what the point is of you saying that. Oh, it's just. Yeah, that's cool. I used to I used to do it a little bit. You don't do it anymore I don't know what the point is of you saying that just if you have somebody who came on

Acting Yeah, you should tread the board sometimes we like to chop it up about stuff like that that only kind of only people that civilians Can't necessarily read it's really I think you're offended Brian because it's you're a civilian. You're serious. So I yeah I mean, I'm one of the 250 assassins. I'm gonna go fuck. Yeah Let's uh, finally before we get out here. I went to Quora and A guy asked why is cryptozoology disdained so deeply by the academic world This podcast has shown me why world This podcast has showed me why

But it made me kind of sad in a weird way where it was like, oh man this guy is like Why are like Harvard professors not telling me I'm interesting or whatever? Starting wars, but you know, I'm is there the elite there their elites and they don't care about real issues I think they're interested in to play devil's advocate I think they're interested in scientific proof I'm not a scientist but they're interested in these sort of proof and provable things and so that's where they have the issue with This stuff is that they haven't been able to see any scientific proof of it Also, the truth is like it's not like it's not like crypto like finding new species is just totally being ignored or suppressed

It's happening like every day that oh, we're alive a new species It's discovered just not cool ones with cool names like it's just Vegas Ripper or whatever They're the Loveland frog like they're not they're just because that's what you would notice had a Fairies taken over his place and he had to get a guy out to notice had a fairies taken over his place and he had to get a guy out to Tent it that's cool, especially with a fairy you could you could get some of that dust I would harvest the day would it be to just on the side of your exterminator van where you've got all the things that you work on Termite all that stuff just at the end to be like fairies. Yeah Well, they get in there single guys fairies, you know all kinds of stuff they get events

They start making nests in the friend. You got vent fairies. I could see look at the waist. This is fairy Now we can we can we can exterminate them or you can gather the dust and sell it. So yeah, it's worth money People love it. This guy goes in the car kill them or you guys can you know they can grant your every fantastic in the context of the modern world where truth is provided by the consensus of mainstream science and medicine many people feel disempowered I think cryptozoology serves as a means of staking a line and saying you scientists don't know everything there are still truths out

there to be discovered. Cryptid enthusiasts are disproportionately male. I don't know what that had to do with anything and disproportionately male often share a number of outsider traits a distaste for authority a rugged connection with the outdoors and a hearty sense of individualism and self-reliance so this guy does like Really he's like that's a nice way to put it. I will say that's a really kind description of that type of person Cryptid enthusiasts are are disproportionately cool, and they all wear leather jackets Yeah, and they carry one of those hair brushes.

That's like a switchblade and they go like this quite often. And they will think I noticed is usually a lot of chicks want to like hook up with them all the time. And that's one of the big the chicks are all too afraid to say it because they're almost too intimidated. Sometimes they'll get married. They're so intimidated. That's the worst part. Few scientists doubt there are thousands of unknown animals, particularly invertebrates awaiting discovery.

However, cryptozoologists are largely uninterested in researching and cataloging newly discovered species of ants or beetles. Instead focusing their efforts towards more elusive creatures that have often defied decades of work aimed at confirming their existence. Another criticism is that actual discoveries of new species have rarely, if ever, been predicted by cryptozoologists. Critics note that while other researchers have stumbled upon real animals, cryptozoologists

have focused on finding legendary creatures with no success. Yeah, that's it. That's exactly it. It's like, well, it's pretty simple that there are creatures that you're discovering. Most of them are very small, and that's the reason why we haven't found them. Most of them are like bugs. Yeah, they're mostly so small. And so the things that are really big, which is generally what the cryptozoologists are looking for, generally speaking, because we've done so much exploration as a species now that it's sort of hard to imagine that

there's something really big that we haven't discovered yet. Right? Like that's the sort of crux of it is that they're searching for these big, huge things that, oh, GBJ. They actually go hide when they die. Smile. Oh. This is a big thing about, this is a big thing about this. This is another big thing that they say is that I'm not even kidding. That is literally something I have heard about Big Feet. At least Bigfoot is well, actually large predators hide when they die.

So it's actually really unlikely that you'll ever find a big skeleton. They bury themselves. Yeah. And also, like, don't I mean, the scavengers and stuff will go and find dead animals, whether they're, like, it's very hard to hide yourself away from. Yeah, but animals don't have burial rituals, and many Bigfeet do. So the Bigfoot is not like us. I see. Yeah.

He's like what we... They don't need a wreath. Do they talk? Do they have like a language or whatever? Yep. German, actually. Yeah? Really?

Yeah, no, they're like we were saying. No, they're quite German. That's why that guy brought up Hitler. Yeah, that's why the blonde one was like, oh. The blonde Bigfoot, oh. I'm the future. Don't you like it? I'm from the German dimension He goes how do we citizen cryptos wall just change this paradigm? Yeah simple, but not easy

Yes Cora's the best. Yeah, Cora's course. Oh Really ticket master is pretty good as well. Is that ticket master for reviews is pretty good as well. Is that Ticketmaster for reviews is pretty good as well. Yeah, I love Ticketmaster reviews. They're the greatest. They're so fun. But Quora to me is like, because it takes a certain amount of like,

oh, I'm an expert, I can answer that question that is really appealing to me as like thinking of a really dumb guy that's just going on Quora every day and scrolling down looking for questions he can answer and then and answering it wrong. A lot of the time. Yeah. Not even. Yeah. Not even Googling. Not even taking one second to Google something. just answering it completely fucking wrong. He goes, uh, find a body or sufficiently diagnostic type special specimen of a Sasquatch or Yeti or orange pendek or any of the cryptids were convinced might exist. That my friend is a

lifelong quest and challenge along that path. You must be met with ridicule ridicule until you prove your claim. So you gotta take the ridicule, brother, and then there's one more answer here. It's nice of you to showcase one of your big hosting traits of flubbing words to Gareth as well before the episode ends. We're only calling out SFs now, which are significant flubs, and when those happen,

there's a group called Flub Head Nation that pounds the table, they go crazy. But that's what, he just laid a couple of, you know, insignificant ones down. I thought it was a pun. Like that's how like, you're so awesome that you get ridiculed. That's how I am too.

That's what they do to me. They all make fun of me. It's called haters. Yeah, they make fun of me all the time, but I see it as them ridiculing me. Yeah, you're too ridicule for school. Yeah, they're trying to take me down because I'm at the top of the cool chain bingo

Lego addiction we're definitely making fun of them. Oh definitely What do you like better suckin titties or building Legos? Great question suckin titties. I mean, but now if I say suckin titties Yeah, they're gonna think I'm back sucking. Yeah all the time Yes, thank you. Yeah, I understand. He does don't get him talking about that He'll get so vulgar about his sex stuff is no I won't That's changed This way he goes good question I think there's a lot of reasons the first being that science requires evidence and a repeatable experiment

Photos and videos aren't considered evidence because of the possibilities of photoshopping etc It's a shame because all it takes is one hoaxer to ruin it for serious researchers all it does is muddy the water So those are out and all experiences are spontaneous. So it's pretty hard to repeat an experience Eyewitness accounts aren't counted as evidence in science, yet they're good enough for the law, LOL. That's funny. It is funny. That's really funny to think about.

It's all quite funny, actually, if you really think about it. Think about it. It's all pretty funny. Just thinking about your innocence sort of pinging on one person's word Truly line that's hilarious. How great is it that on these sites if someone says good question? It's fully invalidating for what you're doing You've thought about being stupid a lot Because I admit that free so we're left with having to find bones or something where DNA can be obtained.

Wait, no. Yeah, I got that right. Even then I've heard of people who wanting serious evidence want to know where the DNA was sent and who sequenced it. Yeah. Well, this again, the travel, you know what I mean? You got it. That's always the question. I mean listen

So he's basically saying like we have to find the bones. We can't find the bones He has to find the bones He's got to find the bones because they haven't been able to find them yet And that's the only thing they can do because they won't believe their photos Because the hoaxers which by the way just to be clear the hoaxers the only fucking reason that their whole thing exists They would not they should be thanking the hoaxers because they wouldn't have a fucking thing to do every weekend If not for the hoaxers who started all of this I want to say I do want to say that like there I

Read a few accounts, and I was saving it for maybe a Bigfoot episode But I did read a few accounts of people saying like, that hoax that people call a hoax, it's not a hoax because you can see the muscles on the Bigfoot moving in a way that only a real Bigfoot muscle would move. You mean the famous one where the guy came out and talked about how he did it?

Well, you know. The Zabruder film. I can read you a guy that debunks every single person that came out and there's a guy that said he found a mermaid and Boom he was on TV as a reverse debunk on him. Yeah. Yeah, he was on TV. This guy finds a mermaid. He's on TV and Turns out it was an actor playing a guy on discovery channels, a discovery channel, then an actor play a guy that was finding that was finding mermaids.

Like it was a reenactment. Yes. Okay. That comes in. I might even have it. It's really quick. It just is like a mermaid thing. Uh, Oh, here it is. He I'll, I'll, I'll show you

call me crazy, but mermaid. This is S which ones they think exists. Call me crazy, but mermaids here's why you might be familiar with the so-called mermaid documentary that's been on discovery channel and animal planet from time to time. If not, I bet you can find it on YouTube or something later after it was aired, it was widely claimed to be a hoax online, which wouldn't be that much of a surprise. But here's the thing. That's weird. When I watched that documentary, the first time I decided to look up the main guy speaking throughout an alleged Marine biologist, Dr. Paul Robinson, former N O A a member. To my surprise,

some of the top links met mentioning this guy were blocked, seized by Homeland Security. Homeland Security is serious. They don't waste their time on fake pettys now. That's a thing to be saying now. That's true. As they're like detaining guys in punk bands for just trying to tour here. The TSA is a ruthlessly efficient organization, which makes no mistakes.

He goes, uh, seized by Homeland Security. Homeland Security is serious. They don't waste their time on fake petty shit. So this guy really is a well-known fraud and has no important or dangerous info to provide. There's no logical reason why it would be seized by Homeland Security because there are way worse things on the Internet. If you're curious, I'd be more than happy to find those links for you that I'm referring to. Now, unfortunately, he cannot find those links that he's referring to. He was really important.

And part of it. That's a part of this. Yeah. And the scientists see that's why... They want the link. They want the fucking link. That's why they call this... It's always referred to as the missing link.

The irony. He shouldn't have said that he has a link until he checked to see if the link was there. Or even just go back and delete it after you realize you don't have the links. Just delete that part of the pose. Guy who imagines that saying, I have a link is really convincing.

It's also, to say that- I could link you to something. Most people stop reading after you say you have a link, to be honest. They just are like, oh, okay, good. To say that and then to not have it is really incredible to be like, like it's the Internet. You can't find one link that kind of leads you in that direction of.

And oh, yeah, yeah. Even you should be able to find something. Some other crazy guy who would like some other crazy guy would be like, here you go. Yeah. He's a ninja turtle slippers were regular slippers until they fell in ooze. I'd be so guys, as I'd be interested in seeing those links and another guy says that he goes, I looked and unfortunately the sites are gone. It was over a year ago when I originally found them. So much security again, man.

Yeah, they can shut down any site. But I did find a random blog article referring to those same links. But here's a picture of a guy putting a bottle up his ass. Does that help? He goes, when it comes to Plania, a guy says you that there's no way there are mermaids. And he says, you're in the wrong sub, bro. Hey buddy, this is for idiots.

Hey, the common sense thread is that away, pal. Hey, pal, you have society. We don't. He goes, he goes, when it comes to plenty of cryptids, there's absolutely no evidence of their existence other than fairy tale. Plenty of cryptids is that? Is that like plenty of-

It's a dating app. Yes. Besides my reasoning behind thinking they may exist is good enough evidence in my opinion. If you even read that, did you only read the first sentence of my whole post? If it can be definitively refuted, definitively refuted. That's a hard thing to say.

That's OK. Yeah, we don't call him out for what I'll drop my don't let him cool it. Yeah, I'll drop my claim. But it hasn't been yet. With your logic, a ton of people here need extensive help because there's little to no confirmed evidence of most Christians. We're also by your rationale. We're all a bunch of our own logic.

Yeah. Do you understand how crazy we'd all have to be for what you just said to be true? How sad this room would have to be? We'd have to be a pack of dipshits. You'd be right now if that were true, you'd be talking to a big group of fucking losers, dude How fucking dare you And finally just to end it he says I've already seen they some people post some Things that call into question all her mates. He said disgusting. Yeah, he goes. I've already seen this stuff

whether Whether he's a real person, the doctor, which wasn't a real person, he was an actor that had an actor take his place for the show or not, doesn't really make a difference. Once again, upon searching the guy's name, one of the first times that show that the show was aired, the first two sites having to do with him and mermaids are inaccessible. Why? Because they were seized by Homeland Security.

That's not normal. Homeland Security is no joke. There's more to this than what the media has said about it. We'll never know what it was. Also, the reality behind it, whatever it is, is like, so it didn't pay. It did not pay his bill because his wife was like, we're not paying eight dollars a month for you to keep a mermaid conspiracy side up Also genius if he just made the website say that homeland. Oh, yeah took his website. That's what I oh yeah It's clearly somebody that's like doing some shit like that if there's a mention of homeland security

I don't know I feel like this guy might have invented that part in his head but if there is an actual mention of it, then it's somebody who is fucking with these idiots and realizes that, hey, this documentary with this actor, people are believing it. Let me make this cited and say it got taken down by Homeland Security. That's a really funny thing to do. Homeland Security. Look, I have no faith in that ridiculous institution, obviously. But the idea that even under the premise of what they're doing is securing the homeland.

Someone brought into a room one day taking down mermaid sites. Yeah, it's mermaids. Yeah. He goes like this. He goes, also worth noting, the show got zero media coverage until it became popular and controversial. That's weird. That's kind of weird. Usually shows get huge media coverage before it became popular and controversial. That's weird. That's kind of weird. Usually shows get huge media coverage before they get popular. He goes, that's when all this stuff came out labeling it all as a hoax to calm people down, presumably, and it worked and it

created people like you calling me insane. I wouldn't have been surprised myself if the whole thing was a hoax as I touched on briefly in my original comment, but whether the show was 100% credible or not, I don't have been surprised myself if the whole thing was a hoax as I touched on briefly in my original comment But whether the show was a hundred percent credible or not I don't believe it was some parts about the evolutionary theory and stuff were a bit cheesy plus what television show is Completely credible anymore. I think you have to believe all or none of the of the mermaid Documentary about them being real. I don't think you could sort of pick and say like hey I think they got some of it right, but I think some of it seems fake and made up.

I think that's the way that you can continue is by thinking like, yeah, but you know, some of the stuff, you know, but most of it was- Yeah, like I guess, well, some of it was like for the audience, like they have to do that sensationalized shit just like on reality TV or whatever. That's probably what they're telling us. But at the core, you know, at the core there was truth. It was weird that they just filmed a pair of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle slippers for 15 minutes in the middle. He goes, the Homeland security thing just doesn't add up. And no, I don't believe in fairies or else. So that is the crypto and DBJ I think is right. In the

end, like he's saying, I only believe some stuff from the mermaid documentary because that makes him it's vibes based. It's yeah, it makes him a cryptozoologist. That's what whatever pathway is fired that makes him happy is is the shit that he agrees with. That is is the shit that he now that's sad That's really the comment that should go in that room Just got this little neural pathway that you're just trying to flick Just there's two more of these debunked ones this guy goes scump skunk ape lady supposedly

It's a skunk ape lady supposedly said her pick was a hoax. I think someone paid her off. So that is Somebody got the skunk ape lady. Yeah They can they can get their fingers on anybody all the way at the top. They're at the top Yeah, finally this guy says most giant reptilian creatures I think it's possible there's small dwarf dinosaurs hidden in the jungles or aquatic reptiles There's small dwarf dinosaurs hidden in the jungles or aquatic reptiles Of course the dinosaurs are small. Thank you so much for doing this Gareth Podcast coming this was important for me to be a part of obviously and I think history will smile upon this session

Yeah, I've got a please listen to my new podcast which is called next we have It's a lot of segments. It's nothing like this. So we can both exist in the podcast here. It's normal. It's like a podcast, but it's certainly not going to make you feel scared to leave your house. It's it's basically a lot of segments like, you know, playing games and just pranking and writing terrible

business reviews online I honestly think I might have to go to Ticketmaster read some comments if you will allow me to do that please do there's all the good yeah the comments on like fish concerts and stuff like that and I recently discovered if you go read the, if they have them on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Whoa. I'm going to do that. I'll give you credit, no doubt.

Oh, you know, I think it was great. It's a wonderful thing. And thank you for doing this. I want to also listen to my other show, We're Here to Help and the Dollop. We're Here to Help, the holiday advice show with Jake Johnson. We had Dave on to talk about it. Right, right, that's right, yeah.

We talked about, what did we talk about? I don't know, it was a good episode. Everybody loved it. Hitler did come up in it, so both Dolev guys show up and Hitler comes up. Well, Dave probably brought it up as he normally does. Well, it was actually a commenter that was talking about how if you're related to Hitler,

you must have a lot of money. Let's put a pin in that and that's a dead blossom Jesse on twitch. Thank you. Yeah, thanks being here Jesse We really appreciate it is Chris. It's always a little heavy back. Yeah, it's nice It's nice to be back excited for the three-headed monster To move forward. And yeah, every single week. You know it. Yeah.

Well, I. It's the two headed steak. All right, we'll see y'all next week. And we'll talk about it afterwards, but yeah, I mean, listen, I have a feeling like, I have a feeling like the three of us could really make something special and we'll talk about it afterwards.

Are we off recording now? We're gonna carve something out. Are we done? We're not recording anymore? Jesse, you're done, you're outta here, Val. Gone. Wait a minute. Now I'm hitting an N.