Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 127 - Apple Guys with Patrick Doran

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

We had Patrick Doran from Podcast About Lists on the show this week to talk about Apple Guys. What is a good use for the Apple Vision Plus? Has everything already been invented? There is a war brewing between small phone people and large phone people! There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashow and I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Welcome to guys, podcast about guys. I am a piece. I'm a Mac and my co-host is a PC crystal absolutely catastrophic that was a catastrophic club that was a catastrophic club I put I made my name that yeah remember what I was going to do Can you spell that? Cuz it's funny cuz everybody used to call him you know what I mean yeah, yeah I knew a Mac daddy so you so wait, and I'm the are you there PC?

I'm and I am I use a PC and Mac why use I don't I use a Mac. It's called an iPhone Yeah, yeah, He has eight computers. He's got so many computers. Well, you bought one of them. One podcast bought one of them. It's for editing this and stuff. Come on. And from a podcast about lists, we have Patrick Doran. Hi, Patrick. Hello. Thank you for coming here and talking about Apple guys, which are now

you guys are going to think like, oh, these are tech guys, right? Like, oh, no, I think I know. I think I know how freaky these Apple guys are. And but do you know how stupid they are? Because that was the huge shock to me. The biggest shock to me is like, oh, my God, these guys are really stupid. Yeah. In what way?

Because I guess it started off like Apple or Mac started off as obviously like a super user friendly. It still kind of is, right? It's just a more like out of the box. Anybody can use it, good capabilities. But I guess the people who are really into tech and really want to be able to customize their machine and things like that, they're gonna be obviously using a PC and and that's maybe why you have

More like ignorance from the these you know they're less like techie is that now I have to tell you I have this one friend That well that has an Android And it's the biggest phone you've ever seen in your life, and it folds in half. That's sick. Oh no. It's not You've ever seen your life and it folds in half that's sick. Oh, no, it's not It's not the razor one is it like the razor it's When he folds it, I don't know if it's the razor or whatever when he folds it up. It looks like a three-quarters of an iPad It's so fucking big is it now. I have a question is it couldn't be but it is as big as your wallet that you bought

Yes, yes it is bigger than my wallet this guy bought a wallet I look like a piece of ps3 and I'd like it had like a bunch of like Mechanical stuff and it was that was an error In wanting to see this thing hold up. Oh, it's it was it was really it. It was that was an error in wanting to see this thing. Hold up Oh, it's it was it was really thick. It was a mistake I didn't think it was a mistake at first and then I showed it on the stream and everybody was like Jesus Christ Yeah, that's a big fucking wallet and then I threw it away in shame immediately Like I don't need this anymore man I pulled this because all I could think is like I go to the grocery store and I pull this out of my pocket

And the cashier is like damn what I mean? Honestly, you're you're lucky if you pull it out of your pocket this thing In there, it's it's getting there for a while. Are you wearing jankos like how big is this? Are you wearing jankos like how big is this? He kind of he kind of does wear that it's like this thick Patrick I would say which is a thick wallet and yeah, cuz I want it's this thick but it also has a space on it for an air tag Why I got it so that makes a part of it like this thing. Yeah the bed will out Yeah, it's just a big dog and it had like a button on it pops the cards out now turns out

That's not that great To have yeah, actually. Yeah doesn't work the way you would like it to that's what I knew I knew right away when I saw That was on there. That's when I knew it was a bad wallet like 100% No, no, I have a question about your friend's phone. Is it an old phone or it's a new phone No, he gets the new phone. He gets new phones more than I do and you know I'm like as soon as there's a new iPhone. I'm like, I should probably get that my phone has you five percent battery capacity Do you really do that? So nobody wants a new phone more than I do how how often do you all ask?

I'll ask both you guys how often do you like Brian? How often your place your your phone like you go the next one or Maybe to know you get models like so I'll skip one model and then go to the next one. I basically I'll look at what I still owe on my phone And if it's under 500 bucks, I'm like, let's roll that over into a new phone, you know I see I see that's that's pretty much what I fucking I have I think it's still here But uh, I had like the 12 Max, the 12 Pro Max for the longest time and I was like,

this thing, I'm good for this forever. And I didn't know, cause I like, will like film like skate stuff. And like sometimes I'll hit my phone, like the board will like go out and hit the phone. I had no idea I had shattered the back screen cause it was in the case. And then apparently I also, I think I have it over here, yeah, right here. I fucking, like, you see that bevel right there? Oh my god. It is just destroyed. I've never seen a more destroyed phone. That's the

battery popping out too. Yeah. You see that? Wow. And it was still working? It worked until it didn't. Yeah. That's what happens. The iPhone 12, that's what I had, the 12 until I just replaced it. And I think the 12 was like a super good phone. Ooh, La Tiga. Yeah, like it, I think it, it like notoriously lasted a little longer than the other ones. Yeah. Well, let's start with- Oh yeah, I had that for like six years. Let's start with MacRumors, which is a website that a forum, an active forum. Oh, it's very active. I was on it recently trying to fucking fix this phone. I don't think they're, they might be hell. I think almost like just reading this stuff. It's like, I think I trust Reddit more than Mac rumors in a way. You know, I

don't trust Reddit very much. Well, I, I trusted right out when it came to going to get drugs in Mexico, but that was a mistake. Um, this guy's pissed off. His name is saboteur and goes from quote, think different to quote, rethink nothing. It's time for Tim to go. That's Tim. Because of the Tim because of the because of this Yeah, or is that is that like that's not the actual slogan He's just kind of saying that like that's his little like is he being a bit sassy there with that or so The thing that has made them mad is and listen, I don't know. I'm gonna explain this right off the top That they haven't invented a new thing in a while

Oh, yeah, right like a new Winnie iPhone and if you'll remember correctly if you remember this they released the iPad and people were like what? Like everybody goofed on them. They said it's just a bigger phone I mean they were right, but then it turned out some people were like I actually want a really big phone You know, that's all it is, but it turned out some people were like, I actually want a really big phone. You know, that's all it is. But it turns out there was a market for that, I guess. Yeah. Oh, and I'm saying this guy, you know, that has a huge phone.

He goes, we're like, get an iPhone so we can text like normal people. He's the only one with this huge phone. He's like, I need to be able to customize it. I'm like, what the fuck are you customizing on your phone? It's just Android. Yeah, it's just the font, that unreadable fucking, that unreadable like script font that every Android has. Yeah, I need to have that.

Oh, I gotta have it. Like I can't imagine, we're gonna get yelled at so bad. I can't imagine what you need to customize on your phone to do what I do. You don't have to do anything because all I'm doing is posting and fucking texting and emailing. But so this guy goes keynote after keynote.

They get less and less exciting. Apple no longer dares. I started using a Mac back in 1993. I loved it. But by 95, everyone was declaring Apple dead back then Apple was run by financial managers with no vision, no creativity and no interest in pushing boundaries. They focused solely on revenues and nearly killed the company before Jobs was there too, and that's like kind of what businesses focus He thinks that like He thinks that like the people at Apple are like mo like they would do it for free Yeah, I've been doing this for free if I didn't work

Yeah, I just love I love inventing man I love inventing so much. So so this is really funny. This guy posts this long boring post about Tim Cook not inventing anything anymore. And the answer that everybody gives them, the defenders of Apple, the true Apple guys are like, there ain't nothing to invent. It's over. Well, I mean, at some point it was gonna it was bound to happen I mean you can't like it can't just go on forever, you know

Yeah, well they did they did just invent the what's that the well? I guess it's already been invented, but the vision Pro or whatever. We'll read about that. Yeah Would you see guy, when you see, ah, God, the guy's using it. So I was watching a thing the other day about these weird freaks that invested in Bed Bath and Beyond and just got fucking destroyed. Like when it was closing. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, we got to buy low. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're coming back. I know they're coming back. They am they were buying at like 11 cents Holy shit, like they can't even really get any lower than that. Fuck man. It's gotta go up Well, and they were like if they thought some guy had bought Bath and body works a guy did a pump and dump scheme, right? Like so he goes on he's like you gotta buy bath It's a fucking surgeon company. Which one was it so he goes on, he's like, you gotta buy, it's a fucking surging company.

Which one was it? I mean, you said two different companies. Bethany Beyond, I'm sorry. It's a fucking surging company. He's saying it's a surging company. And then at the height, when the stock price is up as high as it can go, he fucking sells it all. Like all of his stock.

And they're like, he did that on purpose because he's bringing the price down so that he can then buy it and Then raise it back up. So they spent all this time like They every time something bad would happen with bed bath and beyond they buy more they're like we got to buy more man This guy's gonna buy this company is gonna name it Teddy and it's gonna be fucking a whole new thing and it's gonna be working And why is he gonna name it? I don't know why he's gonna name it Teddy because be fucking a whole new thing and it's gonna be one in it why is he gonna name it I don't know why it's gonna name it Teddy because I know no he's gonna name it Teddy it's gonna be all good and then as soon as he gets the name Teddy then we just start fucking we need we need money counting machines at

that point once he changes the name to Teddy I mean bad bad to be on this like well actually then the CEO kills himself And they're like, oh that's fake. You know, I mean like these guys are all like that's not real and they bought more Yeah, and then they were like they filed the thing that was like your stock is worth nothing anymore. We're not honoring it. Oh my God. And so that's, and at that point they bought a little more. They were like, hold on to, they were like, don't worry about it. He's going to buy it. He's going to turn it in Teddy and give us Teddy stock. They're saying, I never got into that. Hold nothing. We will have your stock. Hold on to your stock. Hold on to your stock that nobody will pay even one cent for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then finally, you know, by the end of this thing,

but, uh, uh, they kept saying like, oh, this is the, they're going to do this new thing and it tricked them. And I think a lot of these guys have in their mind that like these guys would never trick us. You know what I mean? And, and, and so in that documentary, they were talking about an NFT scam of some sort. They show the audience at this thing and like five guys are wearing Apple vision pros in the audience. Stickers on the front of like their stylish stickers on the front.

Oh my God. These people are so fucking stupid. I just can't because like I'll read later on, we will read you a guy who talks about what he does with the Apple vision pro. And it's the dumbest thing you've ever heard. Let's just just so everybody because I don't know. I know it's like a VR headset kind of thing It's not a VR head, but it's not VR like so what what is it exactly Brian?

It is a computer that you wear on your face. I see I see so but you can still see in front of you as well I think it like tracks or there's like a camera in it so that you can see I I only know, I think there's just one guy on Instagram, he's like a gambler and he goes on to like roll bit and I think he wears the Vision Pro like outside and then like he'll just be at the McDonald's line and he's like, all right, one McDouble, hold on, let's see if I can get it and then he just gambles in front of the people.

That's the only good use of the Vision Pro I've ever seen. There's a guy gambling and then like he loses like 2K in front of them. Let's do this first actually. I think you guys will love this. This is from the Apple Vision Pro forum of MacRumors. How y'all watching things with your families? That's- Sitting in the living room with the Vision Pro on,

sitting in the living room with the vision pro on. No one else can see. No one else can see with you. It's like tomorrow when I get home from work, I want to watch the new season of silo with my wife, but I don't want to watch it on our crappy TV. I was thinking about sitting there with my AVP on and just trying to sync the time on the TV app with exactly what it is on the TV and press play. And hopefully it'll be playing at the same time. Maybe this is stupid. Yeah.

I can't think of any. So the idea is my wife and I are going to sync up an episode of silo I'm going to sit next to her with the Apple vision Pro on and she's gonna watch the crappy TV Yeah, she doesn't yeah, I'm like I don't know so in the vision pro I guess you can watch it on like some crazy like isn't that VR then if it's like like like like how It is VR, but Apple marketed it like they marketed it different I wearable computer. Yeah, I see which all VR That is what VR is like you can pull up a browser and stuff on

Chris they're saying like you can like go like this and type in the air and stuff I'm gonna be able to like type in the air and do all that's okay. Hang on a second That is that sounds cool being out of If you don't wear a big stupid fucking thing on you, I'm not honestly I'm not that far I mean, I think yeah imagine the people even if it was just little like, you know, whatever Contact lenses that you were wearing and people just walking around the street whatever contact lenses that you were wearing. People just walking around the streets like doing this would look so stupid just typing midair, you know?

He goes, maybe this is stupid, but I just got my AVP and I wanted it on my head, dammit. LOL, what do you do? Is there a feature I don't know about where it'll just sync automatically between devices? So he's desperate to use this thing. Yeah. Because he bought it and it's expensive. Yeah, he's gonna use it every single day

What does it do and he was like fucking everything yeah, what does it do? Oh my god Does it have an HDMI out cuz I'm imagining that like just him sitting on the couch with a big fucking wire going to the TV Yeah Get up with an HGMI. You can see you can see what he's seeing, but then it also like the HDMI is there. So anytime he moves his head, the show is like gone. Actually, popcorn. Actually, if the if the Apple vision pro had an HDMI out, maybe you put it on the front of it down in the bottom, you know, and you could run that to the TV, then other

people can see what you're seeing on your Apple vision. That's what Patrick's saying. Yeah. That all of a sudden it goes on the TV and you're watching the movie, but they're also able to see the movie. Yeah it's kind of perfect then. I mean they'll see it in you know severely degraded quality. I love this. Plus the motion. I mean the motion detection it's like if you move your head the screen is going to move with you. When you cough when you cough it's just going to go off. This guy goes I love this guy too. Dem demoing to family members today was a huge hit a guy that says he's demoing None of them had any clue what the vision can do and we're all impressed they want to buy one now

Apple obviously isn't marketing the device. Well, none of them had a clue that it could create a virtual movie theater. So it's the single VR. That's like one of the first things in VR. Like I would one of the original VR things I didn't I stopped. I didn't really like it that much. But that was one of the first things you could do is have a virtual movie theater. It's nice, isn't it? It wasn't really that great. I honestly preferred watching it on my television All of them are like I don't get why people don't know what this is good for you can make a virtual movie theater I mean, I'm sure it's better now. I'm sure like on the Apple vision It's better and it probably is like a little bit of it It's probably pretty cool like for the first couple of times you do it

But like is there also a chance that you know your family is just kind of being polite to you or whatever What you're like when you're taking a big like making a big to do about demoing this thing to them That clearly means a lot to you, you know, like yeah I'm looking up the price because I think it's super expensive to yeah, it's fine Wait, that doesn't that doesn't make sense Apple does not they're not about it is three thousand to six thousand dollars oh my god so you can get different there's different levels obviously there's the base level model and everything the base level is thirty three hundred oh so that's for your broke ass. That's pretty good. And the top pro bottle is three thousand four hundred ninety

nine. Oh, no. Five thousand nine ninety nine. So six thousand dollars. Yeah. Yeah. They have some. They have that American six thousand Americans. So for me to pilot costs like ten thousand dollars.

That's probably what it is. It's so fucking good, man man because then you're bringing it into your house You're like you bring this thing in your house You bring it to your family members are like goofing on you because you wasted money Yeah, what it sounds like to me. It sounds like this guy wasted They were like he wasted his money on a stupid Apple thing to put on his head and he's like, Oh, let me demo this And then they're like, oh yeah, oh yeah, that's really neat Yeah, it's true cuz he said they don't know the capabilities meaning that like they were kind of saying like it doesn't seem that good

To get that seems like you wasted your money. You really overpaid for that I think this is a single guy kind of thing right like this is the type of thing that you would have if you're like a single bachelor and You have ten thousand or six thousand dollars laying around Then this would be a good thing because yeah anybody with a fit. I don't think it's good if you have a family I'm not I wouldn't buy what I would I would hold off on any headsets I mean or six thousand I guess it depends if you have like a if you have a family But you're like really don't like spending time with them or whatever

I would say it's a good yourself up in your virtual movie theater Honestly, listen, I know it looked too stupid Mm-hmm. I'm gonna be honest Google Glass was a better design. Yeah, just like the glasses that have the little Glass right there, but it had not as much capability obviously right in order to lie How is that? They probably need a little bit of space. Although I don't know There's an awful lot in your dang phone these days as far as I'm concerned It's a computer in itself and that's why this song piece can't take their head out of their damn phone have you noticed that by the way Patrick have you been outside you live in speaking

yeah New York I see it every day that's actually crazy to think that it's like we should have mentioned it off the top that you do all you actually live in the big one about Big Apple. And we didn't. Yes. Well, we'll go back to this guy in Brian's defense. He was absolutely destroying the intro. So that's fair. Thank you. OK, so it's a great intro back to beginning

where our guy is saying Apple hasn't invented anything. This guy replies, he goes, Apple's doing what Steve Jobs intended it to do after he died, surviving in a world of mature technology. Until there are tech breakthroughs that push the boundaries of known physics or open some new frontier, there are no more bold company because there's nothing left to be bold about The frontier of technology has been conquered occupied and paved over with a barking lot. So yes, this guy said They've hit the top of technology Yeah, yeah, I mean like I said I

Guess I won't Won't ever happen really right that was just like it's kind of the whole thing mine Technology is I don't know. I think will cease to exist maybe that and then it will stop But it's I think it would continue to evolve right unfortunately It's evolving in a really horrible way right now in my no, it's not evolved I will say this because I know what you're thinking. Yeah AI right? Yeah, of course. That's not an evolution though That is still like well, yeah all these computers You know, we are cool. Yes. No, I guess it's true. Yeah, you're right. It's not a real genuine evolution But it feels like I don't know it's it's like it feels like it's isn't that a big feature on the new iPhone to? 16 it's like oh we have Apple intelligence. Oh, they have our own AI. Oh, I hate it, I hate it too.

They do not like that. I'll read you a Reddit thread here where it goes, it's just the Reddit thread title is, Apple quote, intelligence? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude, get him. Today I ordered something from Joann's Fabrics and was a little while later, I checked my emails and there was one that said it was

Ready to be picked up upon arriving at the store. Not only was it not ready to be picked up They also didn't even have the item in stock Turned out the thing just said it was ready to be picked up and was so it was in this in the summarized Preview of the email and the actual email it said to look it up for a second email when when it'll be ready to pick Up I turned a off AI off immediately. by the way, this is supposed to be more of a cheeky thing. They said, okay So Joe and fabrics that was an edit by the way where it says it's supposed to be more of a cheeky thing I thought it was funny Oh, I see cuz people were coming in saying like fucking kill the robots like down with the robots and shit

And then he's just like oh no, I was just being cheeky mate This is guys probably British as well Well, and he also is saying that you know, they ordered something and they read the summary and the summary said it was done but None of these that's the one thing is none of these summary the AI summaries are the worst things in the world They're just so bad The Google we too. We that's where we get all our answers from on the guys podcast We ask Google AI and we do not do any further reading

This guy goes the quote new Siri is half-baked too I typed a Siri to set a reminder to do a task at 4 p.m It made a reminder with no time set no alarm So 4 p.m. Came and went without me doing the thing I knew I would forget to do Hmm. That's a you probably yeah, I think you have to set that is AI suppose I know when I said it it depends on the settings I guess but I have to say that I want an like an alarm Yeah, something like hey, hey Siri set an alarm for four it just did it My fucking phone just did it mine mine

I hate haste it like one of the things the two things I hate one is find mine Because it never finds it. It's crazy. I mean sometimes sometimes it does. I have these one. I have the green headphones that sometimes it won't find, but I think that's cause they're fake. Yeah. Because those are the ones that you got like bamboozled into buying. I didn't get bamboozled. I bought them cause I wanted them, but that's what bamboozled people say. Yeah, they're fake. But why tell you're not fake. They're painted. They're 100 percent fake. They're 100 percent fake. That's why they won't get picked up by the fine. My iPhone thing. But but why did you buy them? Right. And how much were they told? I was at a hotel in Los Angeles

by myself and I was scrolling through Google and then I got an ad for this company that paints air pods and I was like I'll take them I bought some and what but what was the reason you bought that color? Well typo net I'm a big typo negative. I got the green and black. Yeah. Yeah, how much did you pay for them? 395 395 for some guys to paint some fake like This guy goes what the purpose of a summary is to give you a preview of what's in an email It's not a substitute for actually reading the email So true they are defending Apple intelligence these guys hate it most of them hate it

But then there are guys that are like well they a minute. I mean listen they're they're not defending it there as much as saying like hey it's all it's shitty but you also should read the email not just the summary of the email. Yeah well that's two things right like saying set an alarm for four o'clock. I don't trust I don't trust Siri to set alarms and stuff. I don't use Siri at all I don't use Siri at all I you know what I got it in me still at this age to get in there and set my alarm by hand I still I still got oh my dog barking real loud yeah I can still get in there and do it so I've never I never been a Siri guy ever. Here's I've been using it in the kitchen like if I have like raw chicken on my hands, I use it.

And it never works. Never, never. Never works at all. I'll ask it to play a specific song and then it'll play something just so insane that I'm like, all right, this... I have screamed, I've been screaming at it. Me too.

I've been screaming at my phone. So I changed it to a male voice so I don't feel bad The Irish mail now Oh Ira even better an Irish male So easy to get mad at Irish mail it really I do I yell at I'll ask Siri to do something Oh, it'll say hold on and then I'll be like, oh, for fucking God damn it. Just cursing. And they're like, I can't help you with that. That's what I need you for.

Because I hate that you have to say, hey, Siri, play this song by this guy. Shut up, Siri. Sorry, he was doing that just as Siri didn't go off everyone he wasn't part of it did go off we couldn't hear it we couldn't hear it though your Mike's guy asked what's the most significant issue you hope the Siri overhaul will address so they're overhauling Siri everybody that's good to hear hey that's good news because it sounds like you know I don't use it but

you guys say it sucks shit this guy goes I can't look that up for you while you were driving He wants him to get rid of that oh So he wants to it's like that fucking Aziz joke where it's like he just wants to look up if Patrick's right Swayze was in Willow. Yeah, he goes why not? You're dictating to me I'm not reading or watching a video. And then a guy gets some response, because yes, wow, it would be cool to have a back and forth with Siri about questions you come up with while driving.

So this guy wants to have a conversation with Siri. He wants to have a friend. He wants to have a friend. And this is a real sad thing AI related to, is the AI friends and stuff like this guy Oh, yeah He could get a friend now like that if you wanted like someone that will just have conversations with them give him advice and stuff They have those on Instagram now. They have like like the chat bots

Yeah, like it's just like a chat bot and then it says like I think one of them is like a bee Hmm. You can be friends with a bee? Yeah. Oh, okay. That's good. Listen, I'm not a fan of AI, but I'm pretty interested in becoming friends with a bee. I did. Yeah, well, hey, it's all on meta.

I really enjoyed the, and I could make this happen. I could make it be the Jerry Seinfeld bee from Bee Movie, probably, to be my friend. That's true. What's he up to? Not my daughter loves that movie. What's Jerry up to these days? The Jerry Seinfeld be from B movie probably to be my friend What's Jerry up to these days I after Seinfeld Being good. This guy goes that's one of the biggest things I miss about Android I would ask it random questions all the time while driving or stuck in traffic. So this is a use case That I didn't think

Existed this is this is guys having a conversation with their with Siri, not with a person like back when my wife worked. Chris is gonna yell on my ass about this. Back when my wife worked and had like a 45 minute drive to and from work, she would call me and keep me on the phone and it would drive me fucking crazy. So if I could- So you were, what were you doing? Smoking weed.

And she- Hanging around. Were you working? No. So she was driving a long time, long distance to go earn money for you to buy the weed you were smoking and you're like, God, leave me alone. Obviously. Because you smoke a weed, hang out with the kid.

You know what I mean? And she's driving to work at what time? Well, not in the morning, in the afternoon when she's driving home at like four driving home I see and you were you're smoking weed and hanging out with your daughter Rare I know I know but how old how old was a Gwenn? I just whenever I was a stay-at-home dad from When she was like four to win She graduated actually, but no judgments, but I have said before obviously I have a young young child and I've said that I tend to if I'm the primary caregiver

Like if I I'm the only one looking after him, then I tend to go sober fully sober in those situations, but yeah if I'm out with Ariel and Holy fully sober in those situations, but yeah if I'm out with Ariel and and Charlie and Ariel's there Then I will sometimes play with them. This guy goes that's this guy goes same I asked any question that came to my mind and it answered them nine out of ten times Siri feels almost primitive in comparison So what I'm learning is Maybe Android guys just like talking on their phone. That's why I have Android.

They want to be Tony Stark. They want a Jarvis. Yeah, they want Jarvis in the pocket. They want a Jarvis so bad. They want to be like Jarvis pull up best CKY clips while I'm driving. Pull up Brandon DiCamillo Chinese freestyle. Oh, legendary clip from, I think that was from.

Doing this with the fucking, the screen and everything? Yeah, that, I don't know, it feels like, that was it by the way, that sketch was legendary before I understood that sketch was legendary. Oh, yeah before I understood, you know that that kind of thing I was a kid and saw that it was cky 2k. Oh, yeah, I showed my mom that I was like 11 years old How did she react to it did she like it did not I think she did like probably did like it but like Did not want to tell me you know, cuz it's like why my 11 should not be watching this. Why you watching this?

Yeah, I used to get that a lot. Oh, yeah when I would show them Tim and Eric and stuff and they like they're huge Tim and Eric fans now. Yeah, they had to be like dudes dude. Stop do not do that My parent my mom would have been like You're fucking get out of here with that You know what I mean? They don't like anything though. Yeah, except for sitting in a hot tub in the basement Yeah, they got a sick basement on that unfinished basement hot The basement is unfinished the hot tub is complete. Yeah comes pre-built

They call it so inflatable what I think It's an inflatable one is sitting on like green turf Oh, that's awesome like a green turf rug, but then yeah like well it sucks because like I've never been in it I'm not getting in that fucking thing well now now I would I definitely wouldn't get it now because it sort of was a scene of pretty heinous sort of thing very weird thing happened in it. Yeah, somebody stayed in there too long very Long long the number you hear when you hear how long and then they had to go to the hospital for a while. Oh my god Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, not like like a crazy amount of they fall asleep in the tub. No, no They were in there they could have gone out at any time. Yeah, they wouldn't get out. They didn't that was the thing

uh, so They they have this rug, but like the rug doesn't go all the way to the stairs They they have this rug, but like the rug doesn't go all the way to the stairs Like you still are on a concrete floor. Yeah basement going up the wooden stairs Well, yeah, you gotta bring your like aqua socks or whatever Turf your crocs or whatever. It's like on a big square of turf. It's like football field turf Yeah, yeah, and then there's a TV There's a TV Everything you're saying makes it sound better. Yeah

TV how big is the TV small it's old No, it is just past CRT, okay, okay, so it's like an o6 like plat like Projector screens you remember that was like that the big flat screens with the big Mitsubishi Yeah, you can fucking see shit on those if like it was daytime Oh, yeah, if there was a little bit of sunlight then you just like cancel your viewing Watch Harry Potter That's the worst side my cable guy time coincided with the largest heaviest

guy time coincided with the largest heaviest TV. Oh yeah. I never thought of your era as a cable guy. You really were dealing with some absolute units. Yeah. Yeah. Those. That's why I said those Mitsubishi TVs. They're like so they're on wheels. Yeah. They had to. But these motherfuckers, everything they plugged plugged in they plugged in with the smallest cord possible. So You try to pull the TV out. It's like wait a minute. Wait a minute. I got you Cable box is falling down on you. Yes Imagine dealing with that in here also on so many pills That's true. I did. But I did a good job. I showed up early most of the time drove on top of a client's Corvette with a fan.

Well, he wasn't a client. He was just a guy. The client was his across the street neighbor. Oh, I see. So it was just a neighbor. It was a completely innocent person who had nothing to do with it. Tried to kick my ass.

He says can kick my ass. I don't like myself in a van. But after you did that Now what an innocent man does Somebody drives on top of their prized cherry red Corvette Green Corvette, that's a weird color. It's a ugly green too, Patrick. It was such an ugly, not lime, like almost a primer green. And when I ran it over all, I've said this before, when I pulled the coffee, he's like, that's all original parts. And I was like, come on, dude.

It was under a thing and he wouldn't take the thing off when my manager came. I was on the probation. I had only been working there for two weeks when that happened. It was crazy. Yeah. Sorry to and I apologize to the listeners who know this stuff, but just to clarify the reason Brian wasn't fired is because his boss was also on a lot of pills. Yeah, I mean my bosses love me. That was the thing is like yeah most jobs I have In the end the boss hates me and wants me dead obviously the honeymoon the first three weeks

There's a honeymoon period with all of them or they're like hey, I like this guy Every restaurant job I've ever had Once they realize that I'm on my phone at the fucking register the whole time. You get the job and you're like, I like easy. Brian, Brian, Brian work ethic bombed all of his jobs. They're like, Oh, look at this guy. It's incredible. He's just he's just he's the the- He's the worst employee that I've ever heard of. He really is.

Again, he recommended a guy to work at one of his jobs and the guy got fired for jacking off at his desk. By the way, that wasn't my fault. That was his, so I don't know what you want me to do. It is his fault. You continued working there afterwards. What was I supposed to do? I know, but everybody knew that you were the one who recommended it.

It doesn't matter. You can't be held responsible for the people that you recommend, especially if they've been there for like six months. I was friends with them in Laganga with them afterwards. That part was forced. I didn't ever like them. I was never friends with All the way to work every day and it was hell

This guy this comes up he says the two iPads question this is This is the two iPads. Oh, the trolley problem. The famous two iPads question. I, like many Apple fans, have a soft spot in my heart for the iPad Mini. However, I also want something practical that I can use as a temporary laptop replacement if my MacBook needs repaired.

This guy has $15,000 worth of stuff. Every level, he's just like, is there something between the Mini and the iPhone plus It's just a tiny bit smaller The iPad mini is and people say again like oh no I love this and it's great and fair enough But to me that one is crazy because it's just a little bit bigger than like the iPhone plus right like and it has the same Capabilities as that without a phone is, right? Like, and it has the same capabilities as that without a phone. Is that

right? I think so. Yeah. It's needs, he needs something between that and the iPad that's too big, you know? Yeah. He, well, is that what he's actually saying? Yeah. But for the cost of it, I could easily get a regular a 16 iPad on sale for open box and a sixth or more likely use fifth generation mini so he's trying to buy a mini and he wants both yeah he was free he's like obviously I got a soft spot for the mini you know the minis the the way we go we love the mini but it's like you ever think about what if we got a mini but it was a little bit bigger you know that's the idea that I kind of have I was wondering if they have an air and an iPad medium

Did they ever make that did they ever consider? Yeah, we have an iPad in the house I don't use it. Ariel has it. We got one and no one uses it. Yeah ours ours doesn't get used that much anymore Yeah, give it to the kid in a couple years. Mm-hmm. Well, no, that's not Parenting I'm gonna do We'll see about that at the table at the restaurant Yeah, the mini would be great for watching content and white noise when I sleep and I can use the iPad for everything else I'm not sure if that's a good idea, but do I really need a full-blown air m3? Do I really need Apple? You can get a you can get a white noise machine

I know for the baby I we have one and it's like it definitely costs less than an iPad Really an iPad mini that's just a watching YouTube on before you go to bed And if that's the two things he needs it Yeah, you just use your phone for that. Well kind of obviously you have an iPhone, right? Like I can't imagine this guy doesn't have an iPhone. So I like to imagine he has no phone at all But he just has like 15 iPads A lot of these guys have two phones or three phones Oh my god, like to do different things with.

We'll look into some of them later. But some guys are like, well the old iPhone fits in a plastic baggie. So I can use it. What do you need that for? For wet stuff. For wet stuff. Aren't they waterproof now?

Isn't the 15 waterproof? No, these guys are going scuba diving with their phones. Yeah, I guess they got scuba money if they can buy all these fucking phones Yeah, they got scuba money a guy replies it goes for me I don't need an air m3, but I also don't need two iPads six and many what's an air m3? What's an air m3? I think that is a Computer right there. They're m MacBook Air. That's a MacBook Air. Yeah, that's a MacBook Air and that's the chip, right? Yeah, I bet this guy also has the other big MacBook too. Like it's not a MacBook Air. Yeah, that's a MacBook Air and that's the chip right? Yeah back This guy also has the other big MacBook too like it's not just MacBook Air. He has another bigger one as I am

He's got to have a desktop as well Might have the Mac Pro or like I have the Mac studio, which is very very good that I'm on right now But he probably has the Mac Pro. It's like 8,000 It's just like so outrageous Little cube. Yeah, the cube looks the same as the studio that I have. It's just a little cube. It's nice It's like yeah, but but and then they have their I'm not using the display, but that's where they get you It's like this is a few that like the the studio is like a few thousand dollars like three thousand dollars or something and the

Display that they have for it. The special display is $3,000 oh my god, and I was like fuck that I did some research and got like a Dell Monitor. Yeah different monitor Monitor it was nice guy goes for me. I don't need an air m3 But I also don't need to iPad 6 and many Apple intelligence is unpolished products So no need to choose iPad for the sake of Apple intelligence. What software are you using for MacBook replacement? Now he tells us what he's also going to use it for. I mean, to pay bills and stuff like that.

Don't like doing that on my phone. Yeah, no, I get it. Like you got to pay your bill, like your credit card bill from all the high like this guy's constantly paying iPad bills said before you start saying like oh he needs an entire iPad just to pay his bills Like yeah, he's got a lot of bills. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he definitely has to pay his he has to pay his computer bill Yeah, he's got and then he's got a different. Yeah, he's got his he's probably got like he's got different air pods I would imagine yeah, I mean what I have air pods I have a lot of Apple stuff. I mean, I'm I am an Apple guy. Definitely. I like I

Recently went back to PC when I like for editing and stuff like that and for streaming like five or six years ago But I don't know. I've I guess I'm kind of an idiot cuz I've been an Apple guy for a while I don't know. I've I guess I'm a kind of an idiot cuz I've been an apple guy for a while No, it's not it's not I have an apple phone. Yeah. No iPhone is different. I think and I have an eye standard I think that's really standard to have an iPhone. Believe me. It's not I mean enough group chats That are just completely ruined by the Just talking about one guy though with his big phone like you just what's his name? Oh big dude? He's a friend of mine Oh, he's a he's a car. He's a current friend. So we don't call him. He's not We don't call him. It's not one of my I bet you money

Every one of the guys I hung out with growing up or using an Android phone. There's no Possible way any of those guys have an iPhone. They probably think iPhone's gay. Yeah, still you think they're still about that? Yes. Like you don't think porno Sean has evolved his views at all on homosexuality? We know porno Sean hasn't because he was in a newspaper. Oh, but what? His son, his son wanted to carry a blue lives matter flag onto the football field. Oh, yeah

Oh, wow, that's and they said no and then he was in the newspaper like I should be allowed to get some American flag You know what I mean? Like yeah Yeah, it was it the team who American flag that like it's like the page wipe and then you see the blue lives flag like American flag that like it's like the page wipe and then you see the blue lives flag like Yes, it would be nice if they if he had a sneaky one like there was like it was like a regular American flag with Velcro This was just an actual Blue Lives Matter flag just like the blue line or whatever one Yeah, and I so I don't think his views have evolved at all. So those are different issues Yeah, I mean you can be a gay police officer, yeah, who knows who knows

I don't want to I don't want to say that porno Sean is that I want to give him the benefit of the doubt I don't think we should porno Sean out Hey, let's go talk should porno Sean out Come on we know is linked in it be easy. That's true. I do know is linked in This guy goes the last 40 years 1980 to 2020 have been a technological ecstasy Every year new inventions just made our worlds better and better the last five years by and large most if not all of our Problems have largely been solved. Yeah When I was a kid this is an insane paragraph when I was a kid I could have invented FaceTime I saw it on Star Trek

I could also come up with tens of other problems that we're looking for solutions now not so much. They've all been solved Why didn't you just a question for you? Just love the game? Why didn't you invent? FaceTime it's you I didn't see see like as a cash cow. Why do I know? Yeah, you could have told an adult. Hey, I came up with FaceTime Two phones talking with a video. Oh, but that's not that's true. I guess it's like That's different than inventing Again, I have a lot of inventions that if that's the case if that's what we're saying. No, I got invention like it's just an idea it's like

Actually figuring out the science behind or that, you the requirements, that's the invention. I have that billion dollar idea of Chuck E. Cheese for adults. Dave and Busters? It's Dave and Busters. No, it's not. It's a completely different thing. Because there's going to be animatronics at my place. And they're going to be like the Beatles.

So it's going to be, just to be clear, it's going to be Dave and Busters, but then you're taking the animatronics part of Chuck E Cheese and bringing it in there I'm gonna make them like Led Zeppelin, you know Oh that so you're gearing this towards a specific type of white man like an old Like we can have other bands I'm just saying like yeah, these guys would pay We know these guys would pay a ton of money and stand in a room

Yeah, an animatronic plays. Hell I would song. Yeah And then and then you have sort of nostalgic games from like their era as well, right? Like you're hitting all the baby boomers and stuff. Yeah, you got a big pong, like giant pong or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually genius. It's a billion dollar idea. But I don't know. Do they go out and spend money in that way? Those guys don't don't when they just go to a bar top and just kind of, well, there's going to be beer there too. And like, okay, with the animatronics, you're able to reskin them with a different band you get what I'm saying skin the oh, I see you can put up You can put up I see it said they're just like

Yeah, a four-piece or whatever you have six of them So then you can go up to a six-piece band or whatever you just can unzip them and be like, oh it's gonna be rushed This month. Oh that like that is a Canadian. That's thanks for the thanks for the Canadian respect this guy this guy goes Apple Silicon has been the most innovative hardware advancement and computing in my lifetime We've barely started to scratch the surf scratch their potential. I thought I read surface because he would say we barely Started to scratch the surface, but he didn't say the surface he said scratch their potential inventing a new phrase yeah because he doesn't want to say surface because that's microsoft oh that's there that's probably true he typed it out and then deleted it and sat there like yeah i'm not saying surface that's their thing yeah honestly you will get skewered in the comments

if you say surface he's just like hitting yourself in the head This guy thinks Tim Apple should fix Siri goes. I just wish he would fix Siri My products once excellent are now merely very good. I hate Alexa. That's not bad I'm not complaining about very good. Yeah, very good if the things go from like excellent to very good I'm like it's when they hit the like good to like fair when they get to fair Yeah from excellent then I'm like this is a problem Yeah, because I hate Alexa too, but tend to get better results for the first time in decades I'm feeling a little deflated about my Apple ecosystem. I Want a new style phone, a working voice assistant and the ability to use my

products without constantly needing to update reset, repair and quote hope. Find my will do what it says it will do when I lose my keys. Just a rant. Feel free to ignore diehard Apple lover that's struggling to keep the spark alive. Okay. Damn. Okay. Yeah, that's that's the rant alive. OK. Damn. OK. That's the rant thing. You know, Patrick, you. Oh, and there's recently an injunction

that was actually lifted. So I'm actually able to talk about this. No, you're not. I used to do stand up as well. Well, the court says that I am, Brian. And you do stand up as well, right, in New York City. And so you know, you've probably gone on a couple of rants. Oh, trust me, I have.

Oh, you should try it if you, this is one we learned from. Try and incorporate this rant into my next. No, no, just, we learned from Dennis Leary that if what you want to do at the end of your rant is you say, OK. And then that will hit so hard on stage, I'm telling you. OK. OK. Doesn't he flick the cigarette too? Oh, yeah. That will hit so hard on stage. I'm telling you Doesn't he flick the cigarette too? Oh, yeah

And he doesn't smoke the cigarette cuz I was a smoker a former smoker Yeah, he used to do it used to drive me. I would watch him and he go Yeah, and it's like Andrew Dice Clay didn't smoke his cigarette the right way, but he looks so cool doing it Oh, yeah, yeah, it was the leather jacket doing a lot of the work. Yeah Dennis Leary just kind of he doesn't look like a lizard. Yeah. Yes and It looks like a cartoon like salamander or some shit. I love his his scant his books. Have you ever looked at his books? He's got a book of tweet. He's got two books of tweets His scant his books. Have you ever looked at his books? He's got a book of tweet. He's got two books of tweets Yeah, one was called why we suck and one was called why we don't suck. Oh

That's kind of nice. I was at first I was like, come on Dennis, but then okay He's doing you give him as both sides one of them is tweets about why America's good And the other one is tweets about why America is bad. It's not actually a book. Such a classic old guy. Two books, dude. This guy goes, I guess the question becomes what problems have you got that you're keen for someone to invent a new product for? All my hobbies, past time social interactions are enhanced by tech already. I simply can't imagine needing a new exciting thing to solve a problem I don't really have. This guy is living

the best life of anybody we've ever seen. He is just like, everything's fixed. There's nothing bad going on. You know? Well, yeah, I've never picked up a newspaper. Yes, I've never heard a guy say everything in my life. It's like I would love to be that happy There's two guys I would like to be well I wouldn't like to be the second one But the guy that drives the cyber truck and doesn't care that everybody hates them Yeah, I would love that mindset of like I think that's a bad. I don't think I know it. Yeah

That's kind of like a I Like want to be thought of as evil or whatever behavior. Yeah, but you know, it's nice to not be self-conscious all the time. Oh, yeah. That's the way I think of it. Like, I wish I was a fucking idiot, man. Yeah, I wish I was stupid as hell. Yeah, I saw I saw the best cyber truck in Park Slope the other day where it had four of the I bought this before Elon went crazy stickers on it. And it's like, no, it still makes you look like a room. It's yeah, you might as well just drive it without that. No, I know. Yeah, you look like you

got four of them having four of them on each door. It was each door of the thing. It was like the two on the two on one side, two on the other. It was each door of the thing It was like the two on the two on one side two on the other it was like what? That came out last year when he was like chillin with Trump It's an ugly car That like now you're putting stickers all over it to right makes it even ugly. It's like Those stickers off. Yeah There's a guy in my neighborhood who had a cyber truck I saw it like down by the store and he had his Instagram at oh on the thing and it was like a really

Obnoxious Instagram ad I won't say it but I did yeah No, it was it was hard. It was hard not to like go and cyber bully him online You know, it's like that's not appropriate appropriate to do, but I was like, thought about doing it. I was like, it's really not a good move. It's so hated that guard that it's like, you're putting your aunt, like people are going to come and send you mean messages and stuff. Especially driving a cyber truck. Like there's nobody saying nice things to guys that drive cyber truck. Oh, absolutely not It's so few people. It's crazy The the the musk people that the ones that bought it because they love it. There's so few of them now

Mm-hmm, and but they and and everybody hates them But they're the most they stick out more than anybody out there like they're out there like You can spot one from a mile away because they're driving that big stupid truck Oh, yeah, it's meant to stick out like a sore. Yeah Yeah, it doesn't look like any other car like by design. So just everything about it. Yeah, there's no hiding it at all It's just obnoxiously big and yeah, I can't I can't imagine the type of rich dipshit that would actually Let's take a look at this iPhone SE from 2016. Yes. I like small phone devices He goes I'm not ashamed to say it my OG SE even fits inside a tiny snack pack ziplock bag for protection He's not saying

For going into the water, but that doesn't protect it from the water I don't know I guess he just likes the way it fits in there. I'm a cute and cool. Maybe he doesn't even put it in there He just wanted to show you how cute and small it is. I guess that makes the most sense It's me. Listen. I always think about this with the iPhone the cases are ugly and You shouldn't have to have one because the phone does look kind of sleek Yeah, without the case, but I carried mine without a case for like two years and it was just like Just it just was fucked up all the time I was like constantly I want I I cracked the screen a bunch of times and then I called us I did two screen because I was so broke and I needed a screen repair so

I found the cheapest one and one of them was a guy that lived with his grandparents and he just went to his house and he would leave you in the room with his grandparents and he would go into the basement and he would fix the phone and he would come back up and give it to you and you could leave and I didn't like that at all. Yeah, but it was like parents. Nice. Did you talk to them? Yeah.

I mean, yeah, their grandparents, it was like $30 cheaper though. And then the other one I pulled up to one of the dorms at Ohio state and a guy came out and he grabbed my phone. He took it inside. He fixed it, brought it back out of his door. I mean, it's a good hustle. This guy goes hard to watch the Reacher series on that screen or a movie. Oh, hang on a second. My ears perked up. We're big Reacher heads. We did a whole series. Yeah. Called the reach where we where we talked about the show Reacher and I I'm a huge fan of Jack Reacher specifically. How are you supposed to watch Reacher on that small phone? No, you can't you it's honestly ridiculous because it's like you have to be watching

that on a bigger screen to like appreciate the fight sequences and like his sheer Like force a brute force are a big reach your head I love reach or so much, but I have not even watched People want us to do a new reach around table for the new season, but I haven't even watched it yet Fortunately, I have a baby and all this I got a kid and I finished it Unfortunately, I have a baby and all this I got a kid and I finished it Well, I don't want to really get into why I haven't because it brings everything down So I'm just gonna say I'm busy. All right, because been there done that regarding a movie I remember when I had the 5s and getting tired of looking at such a small screen when Samsung had the note 5

With a much larger screen didn't us blow up though. Yeah Yeah, they blew up huge cuz they're big screen everyone want to buy them Exploded yeah, I mean I do like I like I bought a plus this time You know before I had just the iPhone 12 and I bought the plus I did that of a bigger screen Yeah, if I did that it would be he would he would be like are you fucking a why'd you buy the plus? No, I wouldn't say that at all. I'm smart decision No, I don't I don't huge I don't say that this is the stuff I say that about is like you buy 17 ice cream sandwiches online

To get delivered to your house for like a hundred something dollars That's why not like it's like oh, I would get the I've um, but that would make Why you get the plus you just what are you using the ploy could just picture it now people on the twitch stream What do you use the plus for what you're to say watching stuff like that. It's totally not off on my phone. I appreciate art the way it's supposed to be. I only watch like like YouTube videos at night and stuff. I don't watch like rarely do I watch TV shows. I watch this. Shout out to this YouTube channel that I watch. By the way, it's called Five Guys FC. It's these like British seven aside, like rec league soccer. It's a big channel, like a million subscribers, but it's just their matches like where they have multiple cameras though. And oh, that's

yeah, it's super sweet. And it's like, always huge fights like they play these crazy teams. They're like swinging on them and trying to fight them and stuff. Yeah, really, really interesting channel. I actually swapped iOS to Android for a month. Had to swap the Android due to camera issues Then Apple introduced the 6 plus I returned the Android phone and got the 6 plus the camera was good for the time But I'd never go back to a screen that small currently using to 16 Pro Max units. Hopefully Yes. Yeah, he's He's got he's using dual screen is wait. Does he say

Yeah, he's he's got he's using dual screen is wait does he say He has two iPhone 16 Pro maxes. This is a guy disagreeing about the smaller screen being good When you could get to 16 Pro max those are that's like max is huge. Wait, I think it's the same size I think it is right. It's the same size as a plus. I think it's just a pro. Yeah. Yeah, it's the pro but it's big It's big. It's like the iPhone 12 Pro max. This thing was gigantic. Yeah. Yeah, it's the pro, but it's big. It's big. It's like the one I have here. This is the iPhone 12 Pro Max. This thing was gigantic. Yeah, yeah. This is smaller than my penis. What the hell? What the hell, man? Don't act this way with guests on. The camera was good for the time, but I'd never go back to that small currently using two 16 Pro Max units. Hopefully the 17 Pro Max will be worth upgrading to so this guy's hoping that they can take more of his money

He's saying please please let me need that phone Yeah, this is really a different thing than you know what I mean this is like people who are just compulsively buying this stuff because they need the new stuff and it's almost like an addiction or whatever because Sorry gone. I'll tell you Chris. This is my superhero movie thing Yeah, because a superhero movie comes out and I'm like I gotta see it before everybody else Yeah, but I also and then don't care what happens in the superhero move. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't like that anybody else to see it before me. I don't want that. I hate thinking that people have stuff before me. That's interesting. I don't think, I love seeing a movie early. Like I talk about it

all the time. I'm seeing Superman early. Oh, that's a lot. I love that. I love sneak preview. I saw a sneak preview of Friendship and that was like the greatest thing ever for me with like all the big fans of Tim Robinson in there But I love that but I'm not looking at it like I'm just like it's exciting for me to be able to do that But I'm not like I need to do that before anybody else like I yeah. Yeah, I know back in a day I saw super bad like a month and a half before it came out and I was just telling my friends like this fucking movie is the greatest movie ever. And I guess I kind of am like you. I just realized I'm not. I'm trying

to elevate myself above you, but that's basically what I'm doing too. I'm watching these movies early and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I know it feels so good. It feels so good, especially when it's like the movie everybody's seeing and that like when like I said was Superman everybody's gonna go fucking see Superman Can I be honest? I mean I I just like when I was like I saw sneak preview of friendship I was like I was bragging so much Well, I know I've told Brian I was like hoping Patrick would be like oh cool, very cool. That's why I said that.

Oh, I don't fucking, I don't go to the movies. You never do? When I do, when I do, it's like, immediately I'm so stressed out. I don't know why. You're not in it. I just hate going to the movies. Is it like the huge loud sound?

Like, just the whole thing? You know what it is? The only movie theaters that I've gone to in the past like a couple years because every like Good movie theater in new york is also a dine-in one I fucking hate the dining. Yeah, that's like the alamo draft house. I hate that shit, too You're watching the movie and then it's like

The waiter comes by and is like, oh did you did you get the gochujang sliders and it's like it's like no I didn't it's like a really important part of the movie or whatever and the food is so good too where it's like I'm sitting there and I'm thinking like well fucking I wish I like now I want to like order those yeah and then I'm like now I'm like distracted by like them like I think I'm just too ADHD to like fucking Do that you know I? Love watching movies on a plane Me too. Oh, I watched all day of the jackal on an airplane. That's not oh, yeah I watched the accountant on a plane when we did our Toronto shows

I watched the accountant on the way over became obsessed with it went and saw the accountant to in theaters Yeah, plane movie is when you really get into a plane movie and it really sort of like takes over. Because you're being held hostage. Yeah, yeah, totally. And it's like, oh, all right, fine. I'll watch the Saturday Night Live movie. Yes. How was that, by the way?

How was that? Oh, I didn't. I was just pulling that up as an example. I can't with that. That's the perfect plane movie, though. It really is. That's a great plane movie. I would never watch it anywhere else.

Yeah, no way. When you watch that movie you do take the power back a little bit right like you're like they're taking you hostage but it's like now I'm kind of taking control of it yeah yeah watch when I want to what I watched I watched all of Monsters University on a plane I was going where is that going I think I was going to Where is that going? I think I was going to San Francisco or something. And I was like, well, you'd see my wife and I see the original. Yeah. Yeah. I was like really young. My wife and I went to Alaska and I looked over and she was watching Bo is Afraid.

Oh, oh, that movie. Why are you watching? It's a great movie. I saw that in the theater, but I saw it at a fucking I saw that at a diner and Then I was like what like the first like 20 minutes is so stressful And then it was like I forgot that I ordered chicken There's a place here that my wife will not go to with me because she says I get mad every time and I do get mad Every time but I'm I feel like I'm not being like Mean or because he says I get mad every time and I do get mad every time but I'm I feel like I'm not being like mean or anything I'm just mad because it's a dining place yeah the food is

so bad yeah but I told her I was like I think the food is good let's give it our try I did this like six times and it was never good why did you that? Because I wanted it to be good. I wanted to have dinner at the movie theater. I wanted that to happen. And it just couldn't happen. But here's their setup, though. You walk in, the guy that's ripping tickets is also running a full bar.

Oh. So it takes so long to get in. Yeah. And then once you're in, if you do order food, they're like, yeah, just come back out in 15 minutes and pick it up. And while the movie is playing, you're just supposed to leave. Yes. And then you'll get out there and they're like, it's not quite done yet. Come back in five minutes. It's shocking

how bad it is, but it's also very close to my house. That would make me that would that would make me so mad Yeah, sitting there. Just like is it fucking ready? I wouldn't I wouldn't like that at all. That's why I'm Patrick I'm just like against the whole they don't have a lot of those like in Vancouver I just want to say I saw Bo is afraid and somebody I think the star what's his name? Joaquin Phoenix said like don't take mushrooms and Go watch this movie or whatever like definitely don't do that And then I was like I thought he was like messing around kind of and he was like trying to wink and say like you should

Do it so I took a bunch of mushrooms And yeah, it was like wow I live tweeted it actually well while I was having I got like really high mushrooms I really had a good experience, but it was very scary like yeah very very scary I found drinking scene yeah, man It was so that you're watching that and then it's like you see somebody get like coconut shrimp Like what like I'm like I'm invested in this fucking scene And then I'm like looking at the coconut shrimp, and I'm like that looks kind of yeah invested in this fucking scene and then I'm like looking at the coconut shrimp and I'm like that looks kind of yeah

If they don't mix man in the smells and stuff too Yeah, right like the smells of food like it's just it doesn't mix as a pot The only thing they should have is fancy popcorn They should just have like like every place should just have like different if it's a dine-in place like that It should just be different variations of fancy popcorn. It should be shy of pretzel. We have shakers. We have shakers You guys have shakers at your I think yeah, we've got shakers. My go to is a salt and vinegar shaker on my popcorn. It's really nice. Really? So this person says the cheese one. This person says the thing I'm the thing quote, I'm not upgrading until they make another small crowd. Phone crowd doesn't seem to grasp is devs are going back going to go back and revert all their code to render apps

on tiny screens. This guy replies it goes paraphrasing field of dreams. If Apple builds it, they will come have other have other phones but still rocking the 2016 se love how it slips easily into my pants pocket, how easy it is to hold and how it works with the classic, standard Apple white-wired earbud. Camera's fine, phone calls are peach, and most of my apps run just fine on it.

Have a 32-inch TV for movies and TV shows, unlike many. We never watch them on a phone. Hey, chill out, man. Chill out with that setup, brother. 32 inches. I mean, Joe, you've got home theaters. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be making fun of 32 that watch movies seems insane to me. Like, yeah, that's like a very that's like a real small TV. This guy now they're talking about what to watch movies. I goes, of course, the 13 inch iPad would be better. But watching a movie on a 6.9 inch screen is easily doable, especially if that's all you have with you and you're using Apple AirPods or AirPods. AirPods.

AirPods. AirPods. Or Bose Ultra earbuds. Oh my God. Simple to watch a movie during lunch at a cafe or restaurant using the iPhone. Besides, anytime you take video on your phone, you go back and watch it. That doesn't happen. I'm sorry. Nobody watches their videos. I

do sometimes only the ones of Charlie or whatever occasionally. Do you ever watch the concert you went to? Oh, I went to this concert. I filmed a little bit. I'm going to go back and watch it better than that. And I don't, I don't actually film at the concert cause I like to live in the moment not like Zombies with their fun you guys are all like that as well. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, if I'm at a concert. I'm going crazy Yeah, what was the last concert you went to Brian? Metallica oh, oh, yeah, Metallica By the way, Brian. I shared it on Instagram

There was this video that's circulating of James Hetfield like taking one of his breaks in between songs and he looks so exhausted and he's drinking a big coffee and he's just like sitting down on the steps and it's like, oh man, he seems like he's maybe nearing the end of this. And I guess I like shared that so it started feeding me more of that material

because I don't follow anyone on Instagram. And it gave me the video of ACDC. You guys got to look at the ACDC video is so funny. I think I've seen this one. The one where it's Angus playing the Thunderstruck solo. Yeah. And he's just going, ah, ah, ah. They're so old.

He's doing the one handed thing and it doesn't sound right. Yeah, man. It's like, let them retire. It was really funny that all the comments on that Instagram, because they're saying, people are saying it's time to hang it up or whatever for ACDC, because it's sad to watch or whatever. All the comments are these old rock and roll heads, like Michael Nolan being like, who

dared to tell these living legends when they need to hang it up. That's what's funny is like most of us want to read you know I want to be done I don't want to do anything you know but those guys having the fucking best time their job is having a good time. Yeah. They love doing it. And you can't tell them like, maybe don't, you're done. You know what I mean? Like Angus Young is so old. I think Kiss has the right idea.

What, no Kiss? I've never heard somebody say Kiss has the right idea. So I'm interested. They have the right idea where they're like, I mean they're like going, they're on a never ending farewell tour pretty much. And their only thing now is selling kiss army merch. Mm-hmm So it's like an unlimited they they figured out the unlimited money glitch from boomers. Yes

It's like they have like they have the fucking have you seen the kiss coffin? Yes. Yes The credit card is Famously have every there's like this crazy like limited edition thing I remember that they were selling for like seventy five thousand dollars and it was like no it was just like a you know some like keepsake or whatever and yeah they just have recognized that there's these people who are obsessed with them and that's their whole personality and they're like yeah masks yeah yeah yeah well I and and you know there's always that thing where they're they could franchise kiss out Yeah, cuz they have that they they've changed them out a bunch already right like a bunch. Yeah, they just mostly got that

Yeah, creepy gene I think is mostly running the show He's my favorite thing my favorite thing to look at with old old rock bands is The young guys that they like we had Pat Finnerty on a couple of weeks ago. Pat Trinity is great. He's so funny. And one of the things he said is when you do one of these tribute bands, uh, uh, that, or like when you work, when like the guess who only has like one guy left from the guess who, but they always hire like 45 or 50 year old guys.

So they still look, they don't look out of place on stage. They maybe could have been the guys in the band. Whereas yeah, like right. If you have these super young guys, it's really obvious. Like, well, that guy's obviously not an original member. Like the journey lead singer. Yeah. Like you just need good optics sometimes for that. But I guess sometimes it is hard maybe to find like old guys that can play like that and like do the touring and stuff. I don't know. I've given it like the tour photos of the Beach Boys,

like the current lineup where it's like none of them, except like most of them are gone. And then it's Mike Love just in the front. And it's all these guys in like the most, like affliction button downs. It's so sick. That's all wear so where? Yeah, that's all. All musicians wear like affliction and like pants from the buckle. It's like so because that's just what you're supposed to look like.

You're not supposed to look like that if you're a regular guy. But the boys, but the beach boys having those kind of guys like Mike Love with those kind of guys is really really good Like they couldn't even say like hey, can you guys like throw on some fucking Hawaiian shirts? It's so funny Like I they've got it down to a science I think because I said this about when I went to that festival in corn plain Oh, yeah

My brother is like this is really good, man. I can't believe they're all still together. They're not Fieldie isn't in the band. He's a bass player They just hired a fat guy that looked kind of like him and he's up there just playing the bass like fielding Yeah, and it's like they just you got to hire a fat guy. That's smart Yeah, if it's not the main guy or whatever and you're replacing not the main guy You gotta get a look alike. It'll most of the people will be like whatever it like but then it's like oh, it was like, you know, it was like a Like a big huge tall redheaded Irish guy and then now you got like a skinny little short Italian

Everyone's gonna be like what is going on here? I really like these guys are getting into a fight now. We'll get out of here in a minute I want to read this fight Guy goes just because you don't like small phones It doesn't mean anything many people would like to buy smaller phone, but Apple isn't offering one So they use older small phone or forced to buy whatever available Sky responds that he goes just because you like tiny phones. It doesn't mean anything tolerant of others much

Your intolerance is like you intolerant bastard I do too. I want to be fair. I don't think technology was supposed to get bigger No, I think it was supposed to get smaller. That's what we wanted I mean, I'm gonna get the brain Elon Musk brain thing as soon as it's available anyway. Oh, yeah, I need that Yeah, this guy goes. I like my 13 mini a lot. I'll probably keep it until Apple cuts to support or it dies I'm not expecting Apple to develop a new small phone as a favorite of me. But it would be nice. I have very little interest in how big phone people feel about small phones.

Oh, this is like, well, yeah, of course it's like, yeah, you're a, you know, you're a BP. You're a big phone kind of guy. Like I'm gonna listen you obviously don't I'm trying to think I think I for a while it was getting smaller right it feels like it went down and got like pretty small and then everyone was like oh no it's getting too small we can't see the stuff we want to see the stuff that's what it felt like right yeah yeah yeah because everyone's what I think that way what happened was when people started watching stuff on their phones is when it started getting big again Yeah, this guy goes the big phone people do not understand why the small phone people get upset either

It was just stating my preference and why I preferred larger phone and a little phone person went on the attack That's classic little phone. That's Always causing fucking trouble small phone complex small phone complex They love the small phone. They want a teeny tiny phone. Yeah There's I don't know what this is from but it's like from a sketch the guys got the smallest Zoolander that's what I yeah Yeah, the tiniest little phone. That's what I picture when these guys are talking about This guy take one of those it'd be so sick It's small phone guy would be really easy to lose though. I feel like yeah

This small phone guy goes now even finding pockets big enough as a challenge. I'll try you Jankos I mean just yeah, so some big it's simple Don't get a smaller phone get bigger jeans This guy has got to study fashion as well because big jeans are actually Coming back crazy Jankos Jankos doing a like like campaigns and shit. Yeah, I Big I thought about getting them but I'm just like I can't I first of all I don't wear any baggy stuff I wear like little lemon pants and shorts. Mmm

This guy goes this isn't an I hate small phones thread yet. You have appeared in the fashion of a troll to negatively express your viewpoint way to read the room. Yeah. Yeah. You basically thought you're amongst your people, but you're not basically. You appeared in the fashion of a troll.

I love that. So sick. Sir, you've appeared in the fashion of a troll. This guy goes, yes, but these threads buy and for small, these threads are buy and for small phone users. We don't bomb big phone threads and talk about how lousy big phones are. So this is a war. This is a war between small phones and big phones. I did not realize like I had no idea that this is no idea. Yeah. And it feels like big phones are winning at the moment. Right. Like

it feels like small phones are really struggling to have any kind of. Yeah. They don't. I haven't seen a small phone in a long time. I would love it. I have not seen a small phone. Well, Brian. I'm a small phone guy. You're a small phone guy. I'm a big phone guy.

I am. This is the perfect size for me. This one. That's too big. That's too big? I think it is. I think it should be a touch small. Like, that guy that put it in a Ziploc bag,

he's got the right idea. You just want to put your phone in a bag. I don't want to put my it in a in a ziplock bag. He's got the right idea You just want to put your phone in a bag. I don't want to put my phone in a bag This is actually that i'd get a y'all i'd go i'd go see louis ck and get a yonder bag That's the way you use louis ck is the reference for yonder bag I think he usually gets referenced in a different way. They say Chappelle or Rogan for the yonder bags. Oh Rogan's doing the yonder bags. Oh, yeah at the well at the mothership they do the That's even have you not been out to the mothership to do kill. I I went um I went next to it Oh, you didn't and you didn't think that

Because if I went to if I went to the mothership or anywhere near the mothership, I would be fucking so I got a picture out in front of it, I think. Take a picture of me and Dan Lakata. Do you know? Oh, he's we asked he came on. He's been out of my he came out to Columbus and had me show him around for a project. And like I was like, we're take them to all these like cool places and stuff and he was like I'm actually kind of looking for boring places Skyline chili They're making a show about a guy from Ohio

para stayed in Columbus and Like he said it was like kind of a crummy condo or something But it was right across the street from an Indian mound burial ground And he thought it was so crazy to be in like these new mixed use like a bar right across from like a That's like a very real thing This guy goes again. They're talking about the bezels now and he goes I'd rather wear a shirt without a spot on it than a shirt with a spot on it plus what ID so the black thing at the top is a very big deal with people on your iPhone this stupid black thing

up top oh yeah yeah yeah they hate why the big phone people hate it And so does a small the saw the small phone people use it as a reason to get at the big people You know what I mean? So that's why this guy goes I rather wear a shirt without a spot on it than a shirt with a spot on it, which by the way What does that mean? Show me the shirt. I mean I wear shirts with all kinds of stuff Yeah, I think you's saying like a stain. They're referring to that black thing as like a stain. It's annoying. And this guy goes, plus touch ID is better than face ID.

Imagine a movie theater screen with a notch or an island. Imagine watching TV with a notch or an island on it. It's ridiculous. I'll never buy a Mac with a notch. I'm holding on to my SE3 until they release a full-screen iPhone But what happens when it stops working? What do you do? What are you gonna do then? I'm gonna just hold on to it to a full screen. Yeah, Chris. We're trying to get a full-screen iPhone

I mean, I've never really noticed I like I notice it but it's like it doesn't really Obstruct very much of your view of the screen Yeah, no, it annoys me. I will say that. And finally, our last post for this very fun episode, this guy goes, Apple may care about diversity, but they forgot about the diversity of hand sizes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha was real. Yeah, the guy checked that. They're very real. They're saying like, you know, Apple does these Dei things, but they don't even fucking care about my small hands. It does. Okay. I

thought he was complaining about big hands because when I did have the 12 Pro, I developed like I would have to hold it like this. Yeah. I developed this lump right here. I'm trying to on your finger. Yeah, I know. I right here. I'm trying on your finger. Yeah, I know I Stopped the way I like I stopped holding it that way Yeah, because I noticed it was like I was like I was probably isn't good for my finger or whatever So I started holding it in a good different way Yeah, I sized down because of how fucking big the lump got it was like this and it had like it was like a phone

Callous you say you sized down. Yeah, this is the phone guy I thought I had an ally. I thought I had a big phone ally. No no I size down That's sad. Yeah, sorry you small phone people You just said you're a small phone guy Brian well I am That's the thing I am giving me big ones. They keep giving me big ones. And you know, I love my phone. I know you love big ones as well.

You love the stock. I got to know. We're not talking about the titty thing. We're talking about my big, huge. All right, everyone. Thanks. All right, Patrick. It's a podcast about list. You got anything you would like to plug? I guess.

I mean, I'm doing some shows in New York. There's a I got a show at Life World. It's me, my friend Alex Forest and my friend Neil Linsky. Well, I would say almost certainly this will come out after that for the way we record. But when does it come out? Let's check. That shows July 13th. I think this will be out by then Because okay, so it might be

Even then hey, they are gonna be promoing it. Check me out on online. This will be on the eight Oh, this will be a perfect. That's actually perfect. So yeah, dude, if you live in New York, obviously I mean you probably most of our audience probably knows Patrick. Yeah He's he's very funny We had on we haven't had on who have we not had on from the podcast. There's one person Caleb on Yeah, we had Caleb. We haven't had camera. Yeah, we got a camera and we gotta get camera on. Yeah I feel so guilty because because Cameron did not

It's got to talk about poop. No, Caleb Caleb that he got to talk about poop. No Caleb Caleb He got to talk about poop because we're doing museum guys and we're reading reviews of museums and you're not gonna believe this but there's crap all over the place and those things. You didn't get as gross of an episode as usual I did right before. Yeah well I mean we talk about poop on our show all the time It was refreshing it was refreshing to not talk about poop. Yeah, well, I mean, we talk about poop on our show all the time. It was refreshing. It was refreshing to not talk about poop. Yeah, this is a very guys. We did fart guys. Yeah. And it was so divisive. Yeah. Like, I'm nervous to play anymore. Well,

I'll tell you about the fart ologist when we get out of here. Yeah. See you all next week. Goodbye. Bye bye bye.