Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 130 - Camping Guys with Tom Sexton

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

We brought back one of our favorite guys Tom Sexton from The Trillbillies to talk about my least favorite pastime, camping. Chris and Tom had some wild camping experiences. Where do you pee when you are camping and why is it down a hill? Speaking of a hill, Yogi Bear has a tricky park. Of course we read some toilet reviews. LIVE SHOW TICKETS ON SALE AUG 1ST (Show Oct 3rd)-  at www.theguysery.com There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Hello, you're hearing me before the heavy metal music so that means there's gonna be a guys live show or a merch drop But this time it's a live show. It'll be October 3rd at Wise Hall in Vancouver British Columbia Because Chris isn't allowed here tickets go on sale on the Geyser II on August 1st at 8 a.m Pacific Standard Time for guys patrons at patreon.com slash guys podcast and 12 p.m. Pacific for general sale again go to the Geyser II and Buy some fucking tickets come and see us. Goodbye Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian with me is my friend Chris.

Hi Chris. Hi Chris I can't think of a inside because we're talking about camping guys, which are generally decent guys I've learned something about them though that I think is gonna blow your fucking mind Not blow your mind I think the two people I have on this show are perfect to talk about or You and the guest are perfect to talk about this because it kind of reminds me of the bourbon guys episode. Huh? Huh.

But yeah, in a way. Tom, you don't seem excited about this. I'm interested to tease this out. Yeah. So we have Tom Sexton here. We have one of our regulars back. I got to tell you. You going to let him say, you just like, you going to let him say hi properly or why he just like because he's no

Brian just fingered He just flipped me off Tom. I just cuz everyone loved finger you That's what we say up here in Canada But I swear to God like when I grew up that was what he names like oh you fingered me, but I grew up that was what he named me. He's like, oh, he fingered me. But everyone famously loves Tom. His voice, Tom, you know that. So I just wanted to have a nice proper introduction for Tom.

Tom, thanks for joining us. Thanks Chris. I appreciate that. I wanted to ask this because Tom, you are not the type of guy that I think Camps are are you a camping guy? I would tell you about I'll tell you where I land on camping Okay, I spent much of my life camping and I'm from the woods You know what I mean? Yeah, so you're so I don't want to go on vacation where I'm from. You know what I mean? Yeah, Tom Can I tell you that the review the reviews for campgrounds are fucking incredible like in a way?

That I never realized could happen, but let me tell you the reviews for campgrounds near whitesburg, Kentucky Are some of the best stuff I've ever read in my life if we got we got this pot like Yeah, I don't think so. No, it's a state park and it's so, the complaints are funny. We're going to get to that a little later. Chris, you camp, right? Well, I live in Canada. Of course everybody up here does a little bit of camping.

It's kind of, you have mandatory camping when you hit, you know, uh, 18. But is that real? Uh, Oh God. mandatory camping when you hit 18. But no, I- Is that real? Oh, God. No. Well, I'm not from Canada. I know what I know. But yeah, I've done some camping most definitely.

Of course, the last time I went on a camping trip, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but it was sort of an old friend, somebody I hadn't seen in a while, who became a little bit scary on the camping trip. It was just him and I catching up out on a camping trip in the middle of nowhere, and he became a little bit erratic in the things he was saying, a little bit scary after taking some drugs. And that was not a good experience, I would say.

Not a place where you want somebody to reveal their, you know, pin up tendencies to you. No, that's all I could think of Tom was, God, I wish I was in less of a remote area right now. I wish that there were some more people around. I know a lot of the time, I'm excited to be away from people, have a little peace and quiet. That's something that I'm going for but in that circumstance

I was thinking I would like some witnesses At this point. Yeah, that was yeah, that was unfortunate I listen I hope he's doing better and he I like him and everything But yeah, that was sort of turned me off of camping. That was the last big camping trip. I went on I went The last real camping trip I did was Woodstock 99. I would and that wasn't real What so what are we get what are we talking about here with camping I went with my friend Nate Robbie and poor no Sean Robbie's in jail now god rest his jail soul but poor no Sean's doing

whatever. What do we want to know what he went to jail for? I don't think we do actually I don't know but I don't think we do I'm just gonna say that but yeah yeah he wasn't even a friend of ours really I don't know how he ended up there. Well, he was a big, I mean, that can be the case though, if you're going to like a big event like that, it doesn't net, you know, it's like, hey, I wanna go as well, we kinda know you, but he's like, he was interested in going to Woodstock. That could make sense.

One of my big rubs, frankly, with camping is you don't get to, you know, be too selective about who participates because it's a group effort, and invariably, somebody's gonna invite a couple of duds and yes, you don't want a couple of duds in a situation where you're shitting by a tree for a couple of days. Yeah. You don't want the worst thing that can happen. My parents had a seasonal campsite for a while when I was 18.

What does that mean? It means they had a camper parked on a campsite for the whole summer, right? Oh, I see. So they had a campground near Columbus. Okay. Yeah. So they had it for the whole summer and then we'll go every weekend. Okay.

So one time I was like, Hey, can me and like four of my friends go to the campsite and hang out? And they're like, no, no, absolutely not. Because they knew we were gonna become a problem for the other campers. Yeah, you're gonna embarrass them. They were gonna have to come back thereafter and deal with that embarrassment. You can understand my feeling, Brian,

similar to if you recommended someone for a job and. No, I don't have any shame about that. But now I totally understand why They didn't want us to go. Yeah, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah at the time I was like what fuck even have it Yeah, listen both things make sense when you're younger You're like we have this great thing that we could go party on That is like perfect for us to go have a good time and we're not allowed

to use it. That's bullshit, but also is completely reasonable from them to not want you to do. I just want to say to Tom, going back, you know you said at camping you have a couple of duds and you don't want to have a couple of duds on your camping trip? God, man, I would have loved to have a couple of duds on that camping trip with my buddy Just a couple of the real losers who could have just you know Defend Crazy was he yelling at you He was not yelling at me, but he was like you could just tell the things he was saying The things that the subject matter the stuff he was saying is what was scary, you know he was he was saying the things that the subject matter the stuff he was saying is what was

scary you know he was he was saying stuff like you know like I don't know you increasingly weirder as the trip oh yeah oh yeah he he and he he was bringing up Jordan Peterson a lot hmm Dr.. Jordan Peterson It's it's within it's like three four years ago. Maybe or something maybe five years ago Okay, something like that, but yeah, so he was he was just talking a lot about how everything's bullshit you know what I mean how like like it was really real kind of conspiracy stuff, but Of course cuz at that point I was doing a lot of prank calling those conspiracy guys and stuff like that which he was

kind of aware of and it sort of started off with hey I was watching some of it's kind of funny and stuff like that to being like well why do you think you're fucking better than them you know and like I was like oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, you okay, man? Can we, you know, and he's driving. I wasn't even driving. Oh, that was gay. I didn't I didn't I did not have an escape. And it was there was no other campers around. Like we were dispersed. Camping, I think, is what they call that.

I mean, it was it was a campground. Technically, it was like it was like a campground, but it was a remote campground on a river, you know, and there was just nobody else camping there there was nobody else at the campsite whatsoever there was nobody we didn't see anybody else the entire time we were there so yeah I think that could have been that could have been the end for me and I mean I don't know I had he was just kind of mad he was waiting for you to He was he was waiting to tell you these things. I guess maybe I'm not sure

I I think what happened was he took some mushrooms and he started to like freak out from them and started to have like a bad reaction to them in that way and was struggling with mental illness and Yeah, I slept with it didn't really sleep. Let's be honest. When I open and and my finger on my can of bear spray and that is no word of a lie. I was holding bear spray in my tent just and I lost one of my AirPods that trip. Can I ask like he was totally normal before you left he was a guy you knew and had hung out with oh Yeah, he was a guy I knew like years ago though like maybe I hadn't seen in like I think if we were no Sean went camping

Yeah, it would be like you kind of catching up with one of your old buddies from the stories, you know This guy like really nice guy like really good guy that I got along with really well, and like was a really seriously good guy, but had some stuff happen to him in his life that I won't, you know, like some rough stuff that happened, and so, yeah, it was like reconnecting, cause I knew him and his brother, and his brother's just like, oh yeah,

he's like kinda, you know, it'd be good probably to talk, like so he was struggling, he was having a little bit of a tough time, but I thought to my When you're actually out there face to face with the man who's sort of staring right through you saying you know right through you saying, you know, why do you think you're better than Jordan Peterson? There's not much like you have. I have a lot of empathy and I really, you know, but in those moments it was pure terror that I was experiencing. What are the scariest experience? I've said before, I was out in the ocean once in the Bahamas and I saw a tiger shark swimming straight at me in the middle of the open ocean. And that shark experience is the second scariest Experience I ever had out in nature for sure

We're swimming directly at you I mean the apex predator you never even heard of Jordan Peterson at least so like well, he's eating me I'm not having to hear about cleaning up my own room and stuff at least. I had a, I had a similar experience, Chris, one time, a lot of long time listeners of the program and friends of mine will know that I'm a, I'm a, a, a bat surveyor by trade. And so like I used to go out on these surveys and like catch bats and, you know, identify what kind of bats were near

wherever they wanted to build stuff, make sure there were no endangered species, that kind of thing. So cool, by the way. So fun. Which required a lot of camping for the job. One night, we're getting ready to head out for the night and the big boss, who was the guy that ran the company I worked for, requested that I go out with him and net with him that night, which was like, well, at the time I was a city councilman in the city of Weitzberg. So I had my hands on the levers of power at the municipal level.

And he owned a lot of businesses downtown, like vacant buildings. So I assumed this was like his play to like, you know, get some, you know, special So you figure, you figure he's going to be treating you really nice. I'm thinking that like, maybe he's going to like try to grease my palms or something like that. And I, you know, I didn't have many scruples in those days. And so, you know, I've probably been amenable to something like that, but we got out there and, uh, I didn't ride out there with her.

I rode out with another guy who dropped me off at his site and then that guy would drive off to his next site, whatever. So I'm out there basically, you know, just me and him for that night. And, you know, I'm sitting there and I've got my little beef jerky. I've got, you know, my decaf coffee.

Very important if you're ever out in the woods where there's snakes, you don't want to be drinking high test because if you get bit by a snake, it courses through your system quicker or kill you quicker or hurt you quicker. So a little pro tip. Well, we'll tip for the woods. We get out there. We don't have those kind of snakes, by the way. Yeah, y'all drove all the poisonous snakes out of Canada.

Yeah, they're all gone. Somebody came and played a flute and they followed him out. That's right. So I'm out there with this guy who's about every bit of five foot four and looks like Mr. Clean, like slick bald head, you know, and he's wearing a jumpsuit, like a one piece jumpsuit, like a onesie, like, but like more like a more like a worn and top gun or something like that onesie, but more like a, more like something you would've worn in Top Gun or something like that.

You know, like a slatsuit. Oh, okay, I was thinking like a baby. Ah, yes, yeah. Not like a baby. I was thinking like a baby onesie. It had tracks on it. The little five foot bald guy with a baby onesie is a pretty cute. Stay put, boys.

Okay. Stay put. So, we're out there and we were setting up the tent and all this stuff and we're settling in,, setting up the tent and all this stuff. And we're settling in, you know, we started a little fire and he gets out one of those, you know, those like little, like, uh, portable record players that they had, that, you know, I'm talking about you, you'd buy it like Barnes and Noble or something that came in like different colors and stuff. It was a little pink record player, portable record player.

And there was, but one selection to listen to that night. And it was trout mass replica. Yes. What? I don't know. Exactly. But yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the word.

You can't bring Frank Zappa to a place where other people are. This is why, listen, I say that I've said this a million times in my life. I don't go to a party and play fucking corn No, you know what? I mean, I don't go to a place where other people are and play typo negative Because you recognize that it's like that it is still niche meat Like the majority of people do not like that music and it's actually upsetting to them It's not like pop music where people like this sucks, but if it's on in the background, it's not really offensive It's like offensive music to people who don't like it.

Yeah. Well, and in the same way you were talking about being out in the woods with your buddy and him bringing up Jordan Peterson, when you start hearing like Captain Beefheart doing these like Gregorian chant type avant garde things on that record and then in the on a little pink record player out in the middle of nowhere. You know, it's a little unsettling. So I just thought, okay, this guy's an eccentric. And I kind of knew that going in because we had like something

of a relationship going in and we're sitting out there and you're just making small talk. He's just, he knew my uncle rerun who listeners of the show will recognize. He was talking about re-runs. Like man rerun love to be out here listening to trout mask replica with us right now. My uncle, my uncle reruns a rock guy of the high. Your uncle be so much, you know, more fun to have out there than you. That's what he was kind of saying. Maybe that's a nice re run out here.

You're actually appreciating how fucking magical this is, unlike your ass. You're actually appreciating how fucking magical this is, unlike your ass. That's just great. So we're just making this random conversation. And out of nowhere, he just kind of drifts off and opines to himself. He's like. Man, you never know where life will take you, you know? And I was like, oh, yeah, I know that's right. He's like, you know, man, you know, who knows? Like in 10 years, I mean, you could be lovers.

I mean, you don't know. And I was like, a silence that just you heard the fire just crackle and pop. Excuse myself to go take a piss. So from then on, I was like, OK, all right, I got to be on my piece of cues around the boss man here. I think he's got Yeah, that's. That sucks so bad. I had a boss that invited me out before they knew me as like an employee.

Which boss? At the cable company. Mm hmm. This woman was my boss when I was an insta. I think I've talked about before. They called me one night. I was at Theo's house and Theo worked at the cable company with me, right? They hit me on the next tell, which is out loud. And they're like, Brian, come out to this bar.

And I was like, I'm doing other things and shit like that. And they were like, come on, where your boss come and hang out with us. And I, I was like, fine, I guess I'll go. And it was like a miserable night for me because I don't want to hang out with my fucking boss all night, but the worst part about it was like Theo had been working there for like a year before I started there and he was I think that's when our Relationship started to die because he was so jealous and I was like, oh put Theo in coach man I don't want to be there. What? Oh, I have a question for you. What I was so jealous and I was like, Oh, put the, Oh and coach man. I don't want to be there.

Have them go. I have a question for you. What was, I was cool. What was Theo's relation? Did Theo take a lot of pills as well? Um, not really. No. Do you think that might cause this, this was the boss.

Was this one of the bosses? This is a different boss. Okay. Cause I know you and the other boss sort of had that in common. Let's get on. Let's take a look at our slash camping. The first thing I read on Here was new to camping Went to a provincial campground Canada

Which you know, do you know? It doesn't say he goes myself and my whole family thought it was fine to pee outside the tent downhill But now I'm starting to think we weren't supposed to are there hard actual rules in public Canadian Campgrounds about peeing at campsites Chris. Can I ask you are there hard actual rules about P and outside? Inquired minds want to know yeah Specifically Canadian rules about it. I mean I would think that there's a campground where it's it's going downhill Anyway, I don't know about the downhill aspect of it Like I would imagine are you peeing on some sort of a slide situation where it's actually going all the way down the hill

I'm not like I'm not sure I'd like to hear him say what's at the bottom of the hill. I Think they have outhouses usually at campgrounds that you're meant to go pee in but I think of course People pee all the time, you know, as long as you're not peeing in someone else's campsite or whatever I think that it's pretty okay. Usually that's this guy says if That's what I'm saying. You know in my experience usually if you're just peeing into dirt and grass it just kind of doesn't go anywhere enough to care Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's like what kind why does the downhill thing are they? I think the downhill thing is like well, it's not around my campsite. You know, I mean like it's going away. Oh, yeah

They're just saying it Yeah, yeah, it's like I talk about this all the time when you go sit in the grass Good chance you're sitting in dog piss because there's dogs piss everywhere now. You know what I mean? Yeah, dogs do but dogs don't they are someone with a dog The dog dogs usually pissing big tufts of grass and stuff like that like sometimes they just piss on the ground But I don't know I think if you go sit out in a nice field like that You can feel okay if you sit like along the fringes or whatever or buy like a bush or whatever Yeah, you're gonna clean up your dog's piss when you're out there

Your dog just went to the washroom there and you didn't clean it up. I know, it's like a roll of paper towels. Class is smooth, lady. Class is smooth. This guy goes, if you're in a Canadian provincial campground, you're supposed to pee in the washroom facilities. Thousands of people use those campgrounds every season. If everyone pissed beside their campsiteite the place would be covered in piss This campground is covered in piss

Maybe that is true maybe if maybe people do how if there's so many people coming there and everybody pissed like I don't know what the optics of that are if it would start like stinking like piss and all over the trees all the time constantly or whatever but I doubt it I would think it would get like washed away no I think that I would think that you don't think so you okay you are in Vancouver. I'll give you that but there Yeah, yeah, there's not that much rain everywhere like in Vancouver. It rains just all the time here So stuff like that gets cleared away very quickly

Yeah, yeah, even more so I think even more person my brother lives in a place called North Vancouver Which is just like a suburb of Vancouver basically. And it's north. It has like the precipitation there. If you go looked up, it's just in it's just always fucking raining. Yeah. So yeah, a place like that you could just piss wherever I feel. Yeah. But here it'll go a month without fucking raining here. You know, if you're pissing in the dirt. So yeah, you got to you got to use that you got to use the outhouse then I think you know the washroom facilities if you're on one of those big You know like campgrounds where a bunch of people are using constantly if you're out camping in the woods though in the woods Proper you can just go off and fucking pee on a tree. I feel like this guy

But he goes it's quote Okay, if you pee outside your tent in the middle of the night But honestly just don't be a lazy bastard and walk your ass to the short distance to an outhouse or washroom If you're scared of wildlife while walking through the washroom at night Then you really shouldn't be pissing beside your tent as that can attract wildlife I don't understand I guess bears like piss which is whatever Gross kind of nasty for bears like come on bears like that's kind of nasty I don't want to kink shame but As an advocate of peeing on trees you're completely correct

This guy's an advocate of peeing on trees. Okay. Yeah, even if I'm in the backcountry I never pee close to the tent because one animals too gross and a front country campsite with bathroom Facilities if you're gonna make it to the outhouse, you should use it. I feel as though it's like peeing in the pool. It never occurred to me that we needed a rule about it until one day when I mentioned I was on my way to the toilet at the pool and a lifeguard said, huh, thanks.

That is gross. Do you remember that red dye? Did you guys ever have any of those pools? It doesn't exist, it's not real. It doesn't exist? It's not real. I swear to God. I've seen it before nope I've never seen it, and you know I grew up with a pool and my friends And we went to public, but I've never in my life seen the Supposed when somebody pees in a pool a die comes out and a little dot chases you around.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. Actually, yeah, I just come I'm looking it up. You're absolutely right. I convinced myself that that was like a real thing that I had even seen but you're right. It was just a thing that they use to scare people to deter them from being in the pool. The truth of it it is though it never deterred me from being in the pool I would always just have that moment where I'm like Here we go, you know, and then I would just take the leap and go it's like it's like a fake surveillance Camera that die like security theater and security Concept this guy goes exactly if I'm wait Tom. Yeah, please

I just my rule about pissing in the pools. It's contingent on how much of a good time I'm having in the pool. I'll be a gentleman and throw myself to the restroom if it's a real snooze fest, but if I'm having a good time, I just kind of do a lap and later on... Yeah, if I'm playing pool basketball, if I'm playing basketball in the pool, I'm like, I ain't getting out now. Oh, yeah, if the vibes are good, you get up, go to the washroom, you come back in, you don't know how the vibes are gonna be. They could be way off.

Now if you're at somebody's house, if you're a guest at somebody's house, I think it's always good to get out and go. My advice is more like in a municipal setting, but at somebody's house, it shows what a great guest you are if you just have the decency to make a show of you going to the restaurant I don't even have I don't even even if I don't have to pee I get out of the pool and I say I got

To go to the washroom right now I do it like seven eight times. I do it to the point where they're like this guy's doing cocaine clearly This guy's doing cocaine clearly This guy goes So anyway, the guy goes exactly if I'm camping out on crown land in the middle of nowhere I still don't pee near my campsite or near my tent I have a spot near a small mountain lake that friends and I walk into on crown land We specifically build an outhouse about a hundred meters away from the actual campsite for the exact reasons you mentioned. Front country is a term I've never heard of before, but I like that.

And then a guy responds. Now this is a great Reddit guy. He responds and goes, does it not rain in Canada? Everywhere else it rains, which takes care of anyone's piss. It's fine. The pissing guy. That's me. That's me.

That's me. But that guy might live in Seattle. That guy might live in Seattle, you know. But yeah, if he lived in Seattle, he would know that it rains in Canada. Yeah, it's uh, it's not, it doesn't always work that way, I suppose. I think that everyone's always gonna piss. It is smart to piss away from your, you know, just to like not have the smell of piss if it is there. But yeah, everyone's gonna, everyone's gonna piss out in the woods. You're never gonna see people take shits in the woods

Yeah, well, yeah mom. No, they don't yeah There are a lot of no they don't brian. It's rare Brian it's brian. I want to tell you i've i've shit in the woods too many times to talk about brian I don't why is it? How do you think it's rare? What do you think people do? I know one guy that shit on a tree I think about if you're camping just out in a tent in the middle of the wilderness You hold it. I'm holding it You're pinching it off. There's hold it. I will not poop outside What is this? What if it's out of your hands? What if it's one of those?

Yeah, keep it out of your hands? What if it's one of those? Wow, keep it out of your hands. Yeah, keep it out of your hands. What if you don't have the opportunity to pinch it off and wait till later? Yeah, Brian, Brian, honestly, you have to understand as somebody who, I feel like you're already, like if we have sort of like a jug that our shit is in, I feel like your jug is already very full, if that makes sense. Like your shits are so big that I feel like you can't really hold them in because it's like I can For days Huge all the time again, we're talking about the huge craps that is after travel and stuff like that

That's when you've been holding and that's when you've been Holding it for a long time You've been holding and that's when you've been that's why I've been guarding it for a long time Yeah, yeah, you might be in that might be a devil's bargain my friend you might get And get it up in there not be able to get it out properly. Yeah And I have huge issues when I get home again, that's But also you could just like push it too far your trips going on a little far now I'll say you've saved up this absolute fucking world ender and

And and now listen you're out on vacation Not in your own bathroom, and you as that ever happened to you where you have to lay out like a huge shit somewhere Yeah, I I Told you about the time time I went camping or okay glamping yes But it wasn't glamping it was sold to me as glamping which by the way, I did a lot of reading About glamping. I think they're all my experience

Because Tom I went to a campground my experience Because Tom I went to a campground I had to work by the way, I had to record Street Fight, which is a show You can't record ahead you had to record You know how it is you got to record it week of because you got to talk about what's going on in news whatever and I was like, okay I want to take my wife to the place in the continental United States where it's most likely she'll be able to see the aurora borealis

Yeah, of course. Yeah, we all know this story So I was like you guys all kind of problems on the plane That was in Alaska That's not the continental United's lower 48, but wait wasn't okay. So this was a different trip to see the same thing Yes Lower 48 but wait wasn't okay, so this was a different trip to see the same thing yes And it was in Alpina, Michigan is the darkest place in this part of the country So I'm looking for a place to say stay there there are some apartments or some places like that you could stay But then there was one that said oh a glamping experience. I was like, this is fucking cool, you know?

I'll do a glamping experience. So you saw that and thought that's cool? Like you wanted to do that, that's cool. Yeah, in Alpena, Michigan. You're like, let's go do a little glamping in Alpena, Michigan. Yeah, that sounds like a, you didn't think possibly that their glamping and're glamping might be different

No, because I I'll tell you this because I thought glamping meant hey you got an air conditioner You got Wi-Fi you got a guy conditioner. Yeah, why not? Is that the glamping? Yes So I think that you're talking about just staying in a hotel, right? Well, yeah, that's what I would like to do. Yeah there you go. Yeah, definitely Cool to go camping Glamping not camping glamping And I was like what time of year is this? This is summertime mid mid summer, very hot. I'm not, it was very hot outside. And, uh, they go, they're like a picture of this truck.

I wish I could find it. I think I can probably, but there's a picture of a trailer and I'm like, okay, this seems fucking great. You know what I mean? I look at all the pictures they seem good and then all I get there and it's in a guy's yard It's next to his house. Oh, yeah this I know this yeah Yeah, yeah, and and so like the guy is like, oh, you know, I don't usually watch TV while I'm on vacation There was no internet. It was just Airbnb or just staying in Airbnb, but it was glamping. Anyway, so what's the get to the part where you do that? The Meyer, I just kept going to poop at the Meyer. So you wouldn't do it on the grounds.

You would get in the car, drive presumably miles down the road. Yes. Very much like 15 miles down the road. It was like a half hour, 45 minute drive. I'd just drive out there and you know. I've never been to Alpena, but it sounds like a place where your nearest neighbor might be like 12 miles away. My nearest neighbor was in the house

that I was in the driveway of. Yeah, you were lucky enough to have a real close by neighbor staying on the grounds with you. So you would go to them. That's the grocery store. You love to shit at the grocery store. I do. I do. I love sitting at the ground. I did that in Michigan or in Canada, too. I clogged the toilet at a place. Did you know that I thought about that just like two days ago? It's because of the grocery store I shop at.

Brian was staying with Stefan, who lives in the same exact Neighborhood as me with same grocery store and a really nice What's your house grocery store? Save on foods is called and it's absolute shit fuck save on foods fuck overweight II foods fuck Well now now I want to remember is now don't even remember his fucking name the old piece of shit who owns that. We absolutely hate him. We hate the grocers in Canada. They're a bunch of crooks.

There's like five of them and they just... Our groceries are so expensive. It's actually fucking crazy how expensive they are. Grocers are like criminal syndicates. They're like cartels. Yeah, they really are. They have territory and shit. It's crazy. Yeah. When the pandemic was and they own like so there's just a couple of them that

own all the different stores. You think there's a bunch of grocery stores, but they're not. They're like, yeah, every every single one of them is owned by this same old creep who's like 100 years old. But yeah, Brian shit in there and I was shopping in there the other day. And I actually thought about that as I walked by the washroom Because I never never gone in the washroom obviously there, but I was like there it is. There's no good Here's a good thing. This guy says these comments make me laugh One of the things that differentiates Canada from the US is that you can piss wherever you want without fear of being arrested and fined If you gotta go, you gotta go.

That should be a human right. I'm in nature, you better... Like in the canadies saying that you can do indecent exposure with no penalty? You can pee anywhere you want up there. They don't mind it at all. Yeah, that is a big difference where we're able to piss wherever we want. Whereas in America, you have to piss in Specified locations. I mean this is just one of the dumb

If it's like it you just got maybe trying to hide your penis, but they do let you pee wherever you want there It's it's one of the classic things that Canadians will do sometimes where it's just like we just assume That we're like we're so much better than America in every single way, you know? That America's just like the worst place, and we're like, yeah, we're just like a little bit better than them. People think this way all the time, but really, I've said it many times, people in Seattle and Vancouver, it's just the same city.

It's just the same. It's so remarkably similar. There's obviously big issues now It's so remarkably similar. There's obviously Big, you know issues right now with your country and everything But the actual city because you can't you can't pee outside on any building you want in Seattle I know you can't really do that Do it all the time. This guy says they let his Canadian guy was like, yeah Licting accounts Chris, what's what is it? Yeah Not I feel like even in America you can get away with peeing on buildings a lot as long as you're not caught

I think it's the same Canada the cops will look out for you What do you mean? They see you peeing on a building? They're like, hey Make sure nobody's come. Yep. The Vancouver Police Department are not nice people. I just want to be clear. They're not known as Canada, though. They're nice people. Let's look at this early morning rant from this guy. We love rants here and this is very calming camping experience. And is the weakest man and I love this Camping in a Forest Service campground last night was awoken at 7 a.m. By the lady next campsite over chopping wood now I don't think you can be mad

I think this and the comments will bear that out where it's like Okay, ladies chopping fucking wood. It's camping. Yeah, man. That's that's a camping is it first off you don't sleep in for camping Famously, it's something you wake up very early when you camp is just part of it And yeah chopping wood is a really big part Yeah, it's not like playing your stereo really loudly in the morning. It's doing something that it will help you to do all of the other things you need to do for the rest of the day. Cooking food, staying warm at night, all of the important things during camping. I think you could have probably waited until

11 to eat breakfast. Yeah. Chris, did you by chance have a hatchet on your camping trip where your friend kind of? Well, he did Yeah, oh he oh yeah, he's a he was a real outdoorsman yeah, he had you know he had a Forever machete he had a machete of course you know You know everything they oh that you could cut all kind of stuff up. He goes the entire campsite is asleep 30 sites this lady has an entire giant motorhome which had the generator on the entire afternoon and evening also legal times according to the people in the comments. It sucks that people have these generators camping and they are very loud and very annoying

You know what? I mean if you're trying to get peace and quiet Like 10 RVs running a generator is kind of shitty I guess I guess and I understand there are plenty of people who just want to go to like an easy to access Campground and still have that peace and quiet and they should be entitled to that as well But I just think that there's probably places that you can go where if you want to have camping and you don't want to be surrounded by those types of douchebags that you can go and do that, you know, you just maybe it has to be a little bit more remote perhaps. But like yeah, that's what I think is if you hate generators and stuff like that do it a little bit different type of camping.

I love this next line. No thought to chop the night before when I arrived at 5 p.m. She and her husband were and dog were just chilling What the hell just hanging on? Oh, I get it you're gonna wake up in the morning and work, right? Very convenient work schedule you've made for yourself on your camping trip. That's I noted that they weren't doing any work at night when I got there. At 5pm they were not busy at all. They were just sitting around by a fire. That's like what you do even when you're at home. You're at 5 o'clock. You're not even working then normally. Perhaps you've heard the song, It's 5 O'clock Somewhere, where they where they say now the work may begin.

He goes lately, I don't tolerate any public nuisance from boomers. I can't any longer. So I got out of my tent, went over and said good morning. She said the same. And I said, are we done chopping now for now? I am. So sounds like you got owned by that lady. Sounds like she dog walked you that conversation. Yeah, she's like I'm done now Yeah, we're gonna have to chop wood later on in the day cuz I'm burning it But you're saying you came up and said good morning

She said good morning He said we done chopping wood and she said yeah for now meaning that I don't care what you have to say I am done on my own accord and I will chop more wood later Set up their little thing right next to your tent So funny to me that the guy this lady probably doesn't even know she got owned this is like an open prank this is She kind of she's leaving this scenario being like oh I think where she kind of she's leaving this scenario being like oh I actually got the I had the better hand and that like I and it's like she doesn't even realize that she just got her Ass handed to her by one of the

Chris from the story we have she could have just walked away and said that the guy next to us is really nice You know I mean, yeah, you didn't say anything no like insulting. He said good morning I said good morning, which is a Reading you know it's a really good pleasant Greeting really polite. You know good morning. Oh hey good morning. That's like Yeah, you're being really nice, and then also thought that he was gonna offer to help chop too Yeah, she could have been like we done chopping and because even we done You know like hey, maybe I could yeah, she might have thought hey later on you can come do some chopping

Yeah, if you want to join in we're gonna be chopping some more later. That's Your hands look real soft, but we got some gloves you could wear Hands look real soft, but we got some gloves you could wear if you wanted to. You got those dish pan hands. This is the worst rant I've ever seen. Well, not the worst. I mean, we have a guy, but this is one of the worst rants I've ever seen because this guy did nothing. This is the most nothing guy.

He goes, I could tell she had no thought for the others around her. The chopping sound had echoed throughout the campsite Sounds cool as hell to be honest That's like the sounds of the forest Yeah, I know we're sharing space and this type of activity can be expected at this hour But damn man at 7 a.m. On a Saturday and your chop a Saturday Look like that fucking matters And you're trying to Saturday

Look like that fucking matters Like what does the day of the like? Oh, you're you're you're woods forest job that you're working But Monday to Friday, like what are you talking about? Every day is Saturday when you're out camp Yeah vacation. Yeah famous Totally, I didn't even think of like him saying on a Saturday cuz I was like guys I you know, I like it like I try not to bother Katie when she's sleeping on Saturday She's gotta go work every day through the way at home If we were camping at 7 o'clock in morning, you just get up you get up there's dew all over like that. It's horrible Yes, it's camping is early morning You get woken up by the sounds of the forest and stuff like that

You're not gonna really be that well shaded from the Sun probably in your tent So you're gonna get woken up when the sun with the sunrise. That's just kind of part of it This guy goes 7 a.m. Isn't that early for a campground in my experience? Also, I'll take the sound of wood being chopped any day over a generator or a dog barking Can you bring your plugs next time for this type of situation? Day over a generator or a dog barking. Can you bring your plugs next time for this type of situation? That's not the response you want to hear when you're when you're on reddit looking for support that This guy goes he is PNW outdoors. He goes. Yeah 7 a.m. Is early for me But let's not pretend that the birds haven't been chirping and the Sun hasn't been up for at least two hours by that point

I'm asking earplugs or deal with it. So yeah, that's one of my brother and by the way as well because PNW specific northwest So that's that's where I live there All the hell on this. Yeah, it looks like you yeah You've come to find support and you found zero support you found out that you are the asshole I guess in red this guy this guy and this is such a good thread This guy goes sorry But I expect people camping to be up and added at 7 a.m And campgrounds especially since that's well past dawn and most of the northern hemisphere

And so yeah chopping wood then is within normal with within normal pretty normal for anyone used to camping or rural life actually Not happy about generator use But of course it depends on the campground rules if within those hours Maybe choose a campground where they aren't allowed that is true. So in the story I believe he complains about a generator but all most campgrounds that allow generators have ours So that's what I was gonna that's what I was getting So there are a lot of campgrounds that just don't allow generators Just go to one of our You know, and maybe I guess I'm saying that and that is a little bit who knows it could be in an area where there

Isn't a good one that allows there comes an incredible own guys I fail to see how this has anything to do with age either Maybe city folk of a certain age expect to sleep to noon in campsites as if it's festival camping. But out in the West where we camp, the youngs are up and it's up and at it before seven for early surfing, hunting, climbing, bike or dirt bike riding and all sorts of stuff. Getting them to chop wood for a breakfast fire is often an imposition on their fun at that hour.

So again, sorry, just don't see the problem. But I see your stern good morning put her in her place. Oh I see your Good morning put her so he's saying what we're saying that like also didn't sound like you told her off at all This guy goes not defending the lady, but most campgrounds I go to quiet hours ended at 7 a.m I know it's not cool to go right at 7, but she probably not breaking any rules. OP replies. He's had enough No, well, no, he's found one that he can He can actually respond to

Cuz this is like about the hours or whatever, you know He couldn't really respond to the other ones cuz they're just like you're a fucking idiot. You're totally wrong This one he can sink his teeth into it. He goes. I mean she must have started chopping at 659 a.m. On the dot. She had very strong I like to make others miserable for fun and her energy not exaggerating and it's like You also sound like a petty dude six you sound like Like you're the one who is like the You're the one who is stopping people from doing camping and being like, mm, 6, 15, oh, you're gonna start right at seven.

You're the wet blanket. Here's my thing. Like, you're engaging in a pursuit that is about making yourself a little uncomfortable by design, and you're bitching, and you're barking out orders about noise. Yes. Yeah, it's true.

It's part of being out there. Stuff is going to be a little bit different and uncomfortable. This guy really doesn't... It's either his first camping trip ever or he just doesn't understand the concept of camping really. This is the first post where I realized that reviews are where it's at for camping. This is reviews of campgrounds? Yes. This is actually just a Reddit post. Let me look at where this place is because there will be some in Kentucky.

I don't know if... This is in Pennsylvania. This is in Kentucky. I don't know if so this is in Pennsylvania. It's in Colorado. I think this is in Colorado. Lady goes this place is not it's called the starlight glamp grounds. So this is glamping. By the way again I think sucks. I think it just I think glamping just sucks. I think it depends man. Like I think that concept of it kind of sucks because I think just going to a hotel, I think it's like a thing for really rich people. So I think that there's like really rich options

that are probably good in the sense that they're, you know what I mean? It just allows you to be in something with like a skylight where you can see the whole stars, but you're in some yurt or whatever that's like has all everything that you want. So I think it's a matter of spending a bunch of money for it. So I think it could be good. But yeah, I think the concept camping still so like the toilets aren't going to know I

like I think they'll have great toilets and stuff like that. No, I let's end up that's what I think. There's I think there's glamping that just where you can have like good everything and just be out in the woods or whatever. Well, he goes, this is this place is nothing like it advertised online. We arrived from out of state the afternoon of Friday, October 6, 2023. Now, Tom, you laugh. That is a common problem with campgrounds. They never look like they were online. Everybody says that in the things and it's like, I mean, what is a campground other than like a place that's like a, it's a parking lot is what I'm saying. That's all it really

is. What else is there to it? I guess the surrounding area, the like views, you know what I mean? Sort of that's kind of what you're, but yeah, the actual thing itself is probably gonna be pretty underwhelming to look And you're supposed to put your stuff there and make that a place Yeah, what do you think a campground should look like? Oh I know what they're saying, but I just don't know what Logistically like what is it supposed to look like I kind of understand maybe where they're coming from they're wrong But I understand is I think maybe they're they see the photos and the photos have a bunch of people camping there

And stuff looks all nice and fun and then they get there and they're like these people aren't here anymore like well Yeah, it was taken two years ago And those people are not there somewhere else now and now it's just an empty lot or whatever and it looks not impressive anymore that kind of makes sense when we arrived there was no one around except for a young man on a tractor he stopped long enough to yell our direction that he was removing one of the tents as we started looking around we noticed some things that were concerning. The hot tub was foamy and ice cold.

I'm going to have to tell you something. I am with them on this. Anytime I've ever rented a cabin or some sort of pastoral getaway that's not quite camping, but just what's the difference? The hot tub, you ride it off. You're not getting a hot tub that's gonna work It's not gonna be hot when you get there if the best it's gonna be like sitting in bath water Hmm. Yeah, I would never do it if it was if it's not I'll tell you what if that water ain't scorching hot

communal ass fucking or in a basement tub I'm not sitting in some tepid water you know that I yeah I mean yeah exactly Brian I would what about an unfinished basement well I've heard that that water is very hot don't laugh at them listen you know I'm a bad guy he goes the hot tub was foamy and ice-cold and you're right Tom We even stayed at kind of a cabin type place together when we were on tour that time in the hot tub didn't fucking work It didn't fucking work. It never fucking works. It's like McDonald's or something like it's all Because there were so this part's really funny. There were three of the largest spiders I've ever seen next to the hot thumb

so Spiders are gonna be out there. I don't know you can't go spider guard around it The spiders are really smart and getting around that kind of thing. This is great He goes the bathroom was okay, although we only had hot water for a few minutes So you better be very quick. At night it was very dark, and the walkway around the- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, I'm kind of on his side now.

That sounds fucked up. You told me at night time it got- what did you say? What was the words he used? Very dark. Oh, that's not cool. That's not cool. The water's cold, the night's dark. What is this one? This is crazy if I if I were to go to somewhere and I'm paying you're paying like couple hundred dollars and also that night

It's fucking dark Outside has spiders and that's dark Star review, is a one star review, okay? The dark skies. Sounds like he's giving God a one star review. Yeah. Excuse me, God, could we get a little more sunlight, please? Our tent was supposed to sleep four.

It did not. We ended up getting a blow up air mattress because there was one double bed and a day bed. The blankets were paper thin and only one per bed. And it got down to the 50s and became extremely windy. We were supposed to have air conditioning and heat in the tent. We had no heat.

The sides of the tent were not attached to the base. So as the wind picked up extremely over the course of the night, we were all up late because the sides of the tent were slapping back and forth on top of the extreme cold. This is like a Bugs Bunny cartoon or something? This gets so nuts. It's so good. It's so good. He goes, the double bed started falling apart as the bolts and slats were falling off the bed.

The Wi-Fi never worked the entire weekend. And being out in the middle of nowhere with little to no cell service, Verizon, made it impossible trying to arrange weekend plans. Then the cherry on top. This is so good. After we arrived and started noticing all the issues, we contacted the owner, Heather, and she apologized and you know screenshots of apology, not knowing what to say, not including the actual phone conversations we had

And she sent the property manager over to the property she Pam arrived with her minor child Ezra As Pam don't say the child's name Last name. No, but I don't know you I'm saying Why are why are they bringing this innocent child into it? As Pam began just dumping chemicals into the hot tub She sent this 16 ish young man Ezra to go clean the pool the mom Pam stated He was very upset because he had to leave a carnival to come Such an old-timey thing

Ezra had to leave the carnival to come and help me As he sat glaring at us and making leave the carnival to come and help me as he sat glaring at us and making the carnival or just yeah was he just hanging out there and it sounds like he's just having a good time at the carnival and he had to come and do this he's pissed off about it yes because he goes as he sat glaring at us and making comments under his breath it got so uncomfortable that we asked him if he had something he'd like to say he responded. I don't fucking need anything from you It's so funny cuz in my mind I was picturing Ezra is this cute little like

Five year old kid with like a little little like two-piece like a suit on with little shorts You know just looking so cute. Hello. I'm Ezra like he's maybe British or whatever turns out. He's a This guy he's a real troubled teen. It sounds like This is a guy that both Tom and I we know what he looks like without even seeing him Yeah, I don't need to see him at all to know exactly. He doesn't have a shirt on he's wearing basketball shorts It's just I know what he looks like I grew up with Ezra, you know what I mean the mom Pam Stated oh, okay as he said he goes I don't fucking need anything from you He then threw down the skimmer and charged towards us. I stepped between him and the other three of my party

Charge I don't know. I don't know maybe yes I'm not gonna say he didn't charge you boy. I feel like there's more to it I like like I just I don't feel like just based on the information we have that he's just like you asked him nicely If he needed something and he's just like I don't need shit from you Seems like I don't know Ezra, but I don't know it seems a little wild to act that way He goes I step between him and the other three of my party as I was the Oldest of the group. Oh, yeah, the oldest Yeah, the oldest always has a fight

In him falling at a safe distance Back towards his mom's vehicle yelling at him that he needed to get back in the car the entire time He was screaming at me calling me a fat bitch and other derogatory names. Did she have his ear pinched on the way to the... No, she was doing the gun thing. Don't look back. She was escorting him and he was way ahead of her and she's like, let's go. You know what I mean?

At a certain point he turned on me throwing his phone down on the ground and ripping his sweatshirt off then charged at me Has Had your back man Ezra I was I was like I was Speaking up for you, and now it turns out it sounds like you're here a monster. You're an actual This is not rare for campgrounds. We're going to read a few more reviews where the owners are psychotic. Like it just seems like it seems like a business that you can have that doesn't have the same cost as like, Oh, I'd like to run a hotel. I'd like to run like,

it just seems like you can buy a big lot Put some posts with some numbers on it and say go ahead, you know park your car here Some people are unprofessional in the field you're saying yeah, because it's not a hard field to get into Like you said, it's not even a field. It's a goddamn lot Like okay, you could put mini golf there and that would be cool You know what I mean, but yeah, I love mini golf, you know I would he goes at a certain point he turned on me throwing his phone down onto the ground or ripping his sweatshirt off And then charged at me. I was wearing glasses So I threw them on the ground expecting to get hit by this young man that was a minor

But as big as I am. I just yelled, bring it motherfucker. I think it surprised him that I reacted like that. And that was my intention, to stop him in his tracks. It worked as his mother came running and grabbed him telling him to get back in the vehicle. There happened to be another camper that had arrived and he was yelling at the kid to stop being disrespectful and to get into the car. The mother then tried to make excuses that he just thought I was going to attack his mom or something along those lines. Which was not true. She wasn't even near us when this happened. At that point, Pam, the mother, made a call to the owner, Heather, stating that I had attacked her son. Fucking hell vacation.

Just such a fucking hell vacation. It's so... Your vacation ending up on a police body cam footage on YouTube. I know. I know. You say this is the median camping experience. Yes. Let's go to another one real quick here.

How about this one? KOA Campground, which is... No, wait. Let me get you the good one here Let me find it This is natural bridge campground No, that's my Not really because that's too bad Port toe cat Cove Provincial Park Porto Poor no RT a you

Know that Provincial Park. I don't know that one. It's and it sounds French it might be a Quebec, but I don't know this guy natural bridge campground He goes do not camp here the cabins may be nice But the campground and tank camper facilities are extremely disappointing The bathrooms look as though they have not been cleaned in months. The showers are on disrepair and are full of bugs and dirt. Secondly, the quote property manager took things from our site. When we confronted him about it, he said he'd not seen the goods, but some things, sometimes things come up missing.

Later that day, he returned the goods and said that they had just turned up This guy came in he was like Yeah, he's like this weird guy really nondescript kind of guy just came was like hey I stole these and I felt bad about it I'd like to return Nine brown hair Definitely dirty brown hair. Yeah brownish hair. Yeah, and it's funny to imagine him like Thinking like in the office like okay, I was I was I stole this stuff, but I think they kind of know it was me Yeah, so I'm just gonna return it so I don't get in trouble

Yeah, that's a classic thief move like a class, you know, like oh should I've been caught let's Figure out how to get out of this. What's the best way out of it? And he figured they might call the police and they know I'm a suspect now, so let's just give it back to them Yeah, this guy goes. I won't be staying here again The location is nice, but the experience was terrible first We paid online for wood to be left at our campsite then we got there And there's no wood when I asked someone about it They told me I could get some from the pile in the registration area. I just go over there and grab some

Yeah, I mean I mean honestly, just go get the wood though. It's not that big of a deal. I will say this, having stayed here, you have to drive through an old tunnel that's drilled out of the mountain, like one of those old railroad tunnels, and it's about three miles down the road with no cell service to go get the firewood.

I know this is that place they're talking about. Oh, I see. So it's not just to go grab it with right there Real the registration is well before you actually get to the actual side. I got you The next issue is that the bathroom had no water and the shower houses were being renovated or fixed or something again Not a big deal. I brought water and soap with me What got us to pack him and leave two days early was on our first night One of the guys that worked there came over to apologize to us again and made chit chat Which is fine except for that He was wasted and stayed for an hour talking to us and taking shots until we made an excuse to run to the gas station

This guy to run to the gas station. Oh, he lingered? This guy lingered on your ass. There is nothing worse than somebody like that lingering on your ass. You're just having a family vacation or whatever, trying to spend some quality time, and some fucking stranger just won't leave. Drunk guy taking shots while he's talking to you.

Not with you. He didn't say like we're taking shots I know he was just taking shots of alcohol going on and on with these people who Any sober person could have been L that discern did not want to talk to him, but because he was so drunk He's just like oh, they're hanging on my every word So he told him we had to run to the gas station. He finally got back in his truck and drove back to the registration. He drunkly got in his truck and drove back to the registration. Going to sleep at night was a bit unsettling and the hollering and loud tractor noises

later tonight didn't help. The next day I had two guys come and make sure to let them know if I wanted to take a shower. The water is on the shower hose now, so I should let them know when I wanted to take a shower. The water is on the shower hose now so I should let them know when I want to take one. Seeing as you don't need a key to access or anything it came off as a bit creepy. We spent the entire time we were there glancing over to make sure no one was coming over to bug us. So I was like oh let me read another review and Sam says friendly people but I can't lie and say that this place wasn't terrible to stay at we were super creeped out by an old drunk guy

That wouldn't stop trying to talk to us And the showers and bathers were unkempt to say the least And the showers and bathers are unkempt to say the least The lonely lingerer have you heard the tale of the lonely linger they Fucking beast of the forest I know and Listen, you're right Chris the worst feeling in the world is a drunk guy that won't stop talking to you Oh my gosh when you're sensing the like and finding out he's older to his gives another wrinkle of Sadness because it when you just sort of realize that there's this loneliness attached to it where he's just like desperate for this Contact with people but it's like you're not his people

Like you're not the people for him He needs to find other people and now you're just held hostage with his loneliness and desperation. Oh There is he goes a positive thing was that the bathrooms were very clean and maintained However, there was no water coming out of the showers and when it finally came out it was so ice-cold it hurt my head cold it hurt my head frozen in my head the water being so cold that it hurts your head is really funny like it's I guess it's like a shock to your right it's like a shock it's like a feeling of like you know something can be so cold that it hurts I guess right like the ice cold in that way, but yeah, that is the water was so cold it hurt my head Yeah, that's such a

Funny complaint. Yeah, I know another guy that hates cold water and He wouldn't be real mad about that Tony K. So yeah, we don't know that he's passed away just to be clear you don't know that he quit going on yelp I choose to believe that he gave up with his online Yelping and that he's living a nice life drinking the most room temp water you could ever imagine Yeah, well listening to super quiet sort of jazz like music. Yeah, that's what I like to because there were so many security lights at night. It was hard to sleep and impossible to see stars. The worst part though was that there

are young people who hang out in the rest area parking lot at night and play loud music and rev their engines. We put up with it for almost an hour and finally called the after hour number to the campground. They were rude and responded with, what do you want us to do about it? Which you don't like to hear that. There's nobody in Eastern Kentucky that would say, what do you want us to do about it? They would profusely apologize and they wouldn't do anything about it. So the end result would be the same but you're saying they would say What do you want us to do about it? It's probably very drunk though when they called they were

You gotta imagine that the person that answered the phone was very drunk good man. That's true Yeah, cuz he seems to be just a menace There were so many reviews of him people People being like, and then the owner was drunk and he wouldn't leave my campsite. It's like, dang. The lonely lingerer rides again. That's tough, man. But he's the owner. That makes me feel less bad. Like he's not, it's not some employee who's ruining the business for some kind old man or whatever This one is really strange Because it is Porto Cove Provincial Park. It's in Canada I should look up where it's at but I didn't I thought it was near Vancouver came up when I searched

Let me see I mean it could be I'm gonna look it up Porto Cove Provincial Park Well, I just want to read this one review that is very strange to me. Oh, this is Squamish. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. So this is in Squamish. This is where I is the Porto Cove Campground, the one that I mean, this is Squamish is where I had that horrible camping trip that was so scary. It was not in this campground, but it was in the same circle moment. That have I would love that I entered the show next time I should lie and say that you know they just because you don't lie anymore after last week. Oh Yeah, wait never mind after the week after way after sharpling called you out for being a devil and a trickster He called me a devil a trickster and a liar

Yeah, I mean I lied to him a number of times I you know in his defense. I was constantly lying. I do lie all the time on the podcast I'm lying 50 to 75 percent of the time, but yeah no more. I'm not gonna do that anymore So the truth is I was at a different campsite in the same place Squamish which is a city in you know about two hours hour and a half two hours north of Vancouver This is a really strange review because the the reviewer is a hundred percent in the wrong here Like there's just no There's no way Tom and I decide on that One star beautiful park of course, but there's no way to rent anything out like kayaks or scuba equipment

You have to bring your own of everything. I think this place is only designed for locals really. There's no cafe, no place anywhere remotely close to buy goggles. There's nowhere to buy goggles. Mickey Mouse outfit they run in there. Oh my God. Okay. First first off you set up the goggle Depot and then you build everything around If you don't have the infrastructure for the goggles it's like yeah, I got news for you. It's not gonna work I really feel it. I'm guessing this is somewhere where you do That's weird it. Yeah, I'm guessing it somewhere. We do snorkeling or something like that Maybe it's just a park where you can't like a beautiful

I think it must because he's making a reference to a lot of snort like you know stuff like that Well, he goes so I just had a really bad time and spent a ton of money to get here Just to kind of sit there really obviously the play way beautiful Look, that's literally what camping is Obviously the place is beautiful. Look, that's literally what camping is. You go to a remote location and you sit there and you fucking relax. You don't do anything. A fundamental problem with all these reviews is people want camping to be something that's

just not. Yeah. Yeah. They want all this like adventure. You can do all of that stuff. A camping is just a time ago You maybe spend a time with your friends You know you sit around a campfire and you tell a story again sit there

Fire yeah, yeah, you chop it would though. Yeah. Well you what depends. I mean not you can't be doing it at the crack of seven I mean, that's a Obviously the place is beautiful, but that has nothing to do with how they run the place The Rangers couldn't give a shit either and don't care about helping you. So the They don't it was just gonna say they don't have goggles to give you it's clear that Like I'm sure they could help you with certain things But the issues you had were outside of you know what they were able to help with. Now there are only a few of these in Canada but it's a huge thing here in KOA campgrounds. By the way growing up I was like if it's

not a KOA it's a shithole. You know what I mean? So they're like kind of the Bolero? Yeah I mean yeah I would say that they're a corporate entity Tom you know about them Tom you're aware of I'm aware of koa I just you see them on the side of the road from time to time and there's like everywhere there It's like a chain of camp like a chain of campgrounds almost this is this is a place that I have so many good memories that And it's called Yogi Bears Jellystone Park. When you're a kid that does sound like a real dream land. I stayed there when I was like 13 and I was like this is the coolest place in the world because they had like mini golf they had a pool they had an arcade they had a bunch of Yogi Bear themed stuff it was just really cool.

Bear theme stuff. It was just really cool. Now with bear unemployment nearing a hundred percent One star We camped in tents with our children. We were extremely disappointed when arriving at our campsite I only have this here because there is a line that is so funny to me Just personally he goes we didn't have one tree on our campsite. The day was hot with no clouds. We had no shade at all. The camping area was a bed of mulch right next to the road, which by the fucking way, that's what a camping area is.

If you're going to a campground, what do you expect? It's just a lot. It's a place to park your fucking thing, you know? But this is the part that makes me laugh. The picnic was the picnic table was on a hill. Our food and drinks kept spilling. You just continue with this great fun. Setting them back up.

Like you chose the spot. Tom, you said the other one was like a Bugs Bunny cartoon This is like a Bugs Bunny cartoon to just setting up the food as it falls and somebody else is underneath grabbing it Not with that these these are some of the dumbest people I've ever I mean to say that Yeah, just Kept falling off is crazy to me if it fell off one time that makes sense not even though I think you should be able to see as a human being like this is gonna be iffy here if I put the food on

Here, I think that the angle it might not stay Maybe they put some stick them on it. Yeah I'm not gonna risk it. Maybe they thought they put some stick-o-money. Yeah, that's so fucking funny. They continued to try to make it work with that and continued to fail throughout their trip. But they didn't, they're trying to level it out a little bit. They didn't actually try to do anything.

They actually were like, what if I put the food here and then it slid off? Can we be really, this was kind of expensive. Can we be careful? And it's a little can you really this is a this was kind of expensive can we be careful? Oh, and it's God Then a piano fell on my husband he had keys for teeth Funny when I expressed my concern to the staff at Jellystone instead of offering ways to make it feel more safe such as an Umbrella for shade or trying to level the area around the kid fire.

They didn't even offer us an umbrella or to level off. They didn't even bring in a landscaping unit to level off the area. Like they didn't even consult the city and they didn't do any surveying or anything like that to get their shit leveled off. Like it's insane to me. Like we didn't have all we paid for ready to go they didn't have all the paperwork and we paid $45 to stay there that night They didn't come with a bulldozer and level out my campground, you know what I mean They could have taken dirt away or added more dirt. That's the way you solve this problem

there is an astonishing amount of people in America that don't really know that America is all about, like, putting as little investment as possible in and maximizing as much as you can from that. It's like they really think the customer is always right. That's like a real ethos that everybody lives by, you know? Yeah, they were raised on that. That's the Airbnb thing, right?

Yeah, they were raised on that. That's the Airbnb thing, right? Yeah, yeah. I stayed in a very nice Airbnb in Trinidad, California earlier in the year, and there was a hot tub there, but the picture that was taken of the hot tub was done in such a way that it didn't show that it was a tiny little triangle and only two people could fit in the hot tub. There was no way to fit a third person in the hot tub. The couch was really uncomfortable.

But it's beautiful, it's right on the ocean, fine, I'll deal with it. But traveling is the best place for you to understand that everybody is trying to spend the least amount of money possible to give you the minimal amount of comfort Anywhere you stay, you know what I mean? Like they're like how How little comfort can do I have to? give before Yeah, so bad where it's like the reviews are hurting my ability to rent it out.

They have to just like find that line. You know, I'm an Airbnb host. You know, I've been an Airbnb host for five years now. I own a number of properties that I rent out. I always say that the customer, you know me, Brian, I always say the customer is always right and that's because I lock the left side of my house that has the bathroom and the kitchen in it. We did just we did just read a person a couple weeks ago.

Okay, so they go. The owners yelled at me and asked me to leave. I said my children were in their swimsuits and ready to swim and they tried to kick me out again saying that they spent their life savings on this place. Still very hard to believe that is how they treat our guests. At this point, knowing that the owner is a jelly stone, we're not going to do anything to make our stay better, although they eventually brought an umbrella. Okay, so one of the two things that once the one obtainable thing that they could do, they

did for you. The one possible thing They have one thing that they were able to help with and I want to apologize as well I know I said I wasn't gonna lie anymore. I want to I want to clear the air. I've not I'm not I don't have any properties that I rent out on Airbnb now. Here's here's a perfect thing. Okay, he goes We tried to make the most of it. It was hard to sleep with the proximity of the campsites. Lots of noise until midnight.

I did actually fall sideways in my chair around the campground. I was just glad it wasn't one of the kids. Wait, what? You fell over and that's in the review? Fell sideways, sat down in her chair, and rolled down the hill. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. I'm just glad it wasn't one of the kids. I'm just glad it was me honestly, like I can handle it. You know. You did not know she could move. I'm going to put my chair on the hill. Try to sit down in a chair. At a camp and all off a large bear with a green tie and a smaller bear with a purple one kept to her picnic baskets.

I can't just, I love the idea of putting in your review that, yeah, I tried to sit on my chair and I fell down a hill. That's so good. That's so good. What else am I supposed to do? I'm on a hill. Yeah. Like this hill, they could not conquer this hill the hill absolutely destroyed their vacation Holding them at gunpoint and making them sit like in awkward angles on the side

Oh, you don't understand though Tom this entire you haven't seen the site the whole site was hill the whole site was You were on a hill the whole time you couldn't get off the hill It was just there hill the whole site was you were on a hill the whole time you couldn't get off the hill it was just there was no area that was non-hill I like this one this is for koa this is on trust pilot this is Alberta koa la duke Alberta oh it is interesting like most of this is Canadian like the research for this was mostly Canadian I didn't like search Canadian. It just you're probably right Canadians can't more than Americans I believe that's true, but it's a different type of camping

I will say I think the big lots where you're talking about where no trees are present like these koa ones I don't think they're like that in, that's as big in Canada, I feel like. Like I've never really camped at a place like that. I camped growing up, it was like basically kind of a parking lot and then there would be trees and stuff like that and it would, the spot would be sort of wooded, but there's always just somebody right next to you

on either side of you. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of, that's kind of what it's like. Yeah, there's no real way unless you're like planning to go out hiking to the middle of nowhere and there's no real way to camp without people being there. I've been trying to get like a secluded cabin for years. I can't fucking find one. I don't know how to figure it out. What do you mean? Like a place where I can't see any other people here?

What do you get one that I can go well right it night? I this is my dream And my dreams I want a cabin that is so secluded that I walk outside and scream as loud as I can all Day, can I say something to you though? I do believe you would enjoy that but I think you would you'd get tired of you, you know I think you like these guys you'd like to be around people I think a little bit, right? You don't think you like Yeah, when you walk around I think you like to have people I think you'd get a little bit bored like being I like going weird people around this guy goes absolutely to ridiculous location to have a koa right beside an airport Funny I think we do isn't that big though, you know

So I think like everything is close to the airport Maybe there if I'm if I'm not mistaken loud jets flying overhead all day and into the night the noise is unbearable You'll love this Chris you. You'll identify with this. As well, we were told internet would be slow on night of Edmonton hockey game. However, internet service is bad regardless. We tried to watch a movie in the middle of the day on June 17th when no hockey game was playing and it constantly froze. We can't get out of here fast enough. Terrible, terrible experience. Please take your cues from the Salt St. Marie, Ontario koa Yeah

Sue St. Marie, which is the best in Canada? So I will say that Leduc is bigger than I thought so it is it you know It's like 35,000 people or something like that, but yeah I I don't know about koA. Do they exist in Vancouver? They're everywhere. I think you have one. Yeah, that's wild to me. It stands for Campgrounds of America.

But I think they're just a chain. It's like the Marriott. They're like the main campground shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. It's just surprising to me that I've never heard of that before. It's surprising. They're not good.

It's a brand. That's why when I was a kid I was like I want to stay at KOA because I was susceptible to brands. It was also the reason why I wore Nikes and you know cool clothes. This is one last thing here guys. This is well I'll show you guys a picture because you know you deserve to see it and this is this is a an episode of guys so it's gonna have to get gross at some point I know we open talking about piss for a while but this is the out smart gadgets outdoor portable toilet set for adults with camping nightlaner folding XL toilet pop-up privacy tent and carry bags, multi-purpose potty, washable and foldable for RV travel.

So this is a Turl-it. This is probably what my in-laws are using. I've got some perspective on this having used a similar thing. You have used something like this? Yeah, I'll tell you this. If you do this a lot, if you're out in the woods a lot, it's one of those things where,

like that one looks like the XL, so it's like a sort of a natural for an American sitting motion to sit on and do your business on, right? What I used was not like that. It was like a little pop-up tent, and you sat on what looked like a chamber pot with like a pump gas can kind of thing attached to it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, so the angle I was sitting at was like if you've seen somebody like You know like in some countries where like you just kind of sit on the floor To shit that's kind of the angle very unnatural for an American. Yeah. Yeah. Well this guy Thaddeus says Will be difficult to clean and impossible to fully dry I've not done business in this toilet. I like he keeps saying I've not done business in it I'm gonna say shit. He won't take a crap. Yeah, I tested with water and no matter how much I shake the black tank Even getting the mess on myself. I still can't get it to a point that I don't hear water sloshing. I'm fairly certain I'll have to return this. I've let it air dry overnight

to no avail. This and Yeeta Home and a lot of others are all patented and manufactured by CH8. I found this to be concerning because I chose this one over another brand because I thought Col-Re was an RV company instead of a home company. Same product, the manufacturer, just a different pricing. I'm questioning if this business practice is even legal. I don't think if I do business in this toilet that I'll ever get it clean or even able to drain all the human waste. Probably going to buy a Thetford. Now the reason I read this is because I wanted to find out about the Thetford Porta Potty. I'll show you a Thetford

I think you guys all This This is the top brand that's that see that That's the Cadillac Yeah, that's the Cadillac that looks pretty small though. I know Yeah, that's the Cadillac that looks pretty small though. I know The guy I should have looked at other pictures, but it looks so small. Yeah, it looks tiny So let's read a couple reviews of the set for the Cadillac of porta potties

Unless you like walking in piss do not buy Okay, where do I put it? And there's a picture to I'll show you I'll let you guys have a picture of it it says Bought this piece of crap about it. Yeah. Oh my god Walking in piss do not buy What is the photo of piss yeah yeah I know but where is the piss his car oh it's on the ground of his car yeah oh my god what the hell would you do that bought this piece of crap in your car he's ainter van guys. He's one of those Sprinter van guys that we didn't really talk about.

Like there's kind of a difference between like car camping, RV camping, Sprinter van camping, and then tent camping. And you know, the one I would do is RV. I would love one of those huge RVs. I've only ever done tent camping, yeah. I'm a tent camping guy. My parents had a camper, but it sucked. It was like one of those huge RVs. I've only ever done tent camping. Yeah, I'm a tent camping guy. My parents had a camper, but it sucked.

It was like one of those ones that you like turn the crank and it pops up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Pop up. They call it a pop up. I've done camping, tent camping. I've done camping, no tent.

Like just, we would do that a lot. Like in the summertime, if the weather's good, just tarp, like tarp over top Oh, you were tarping. Yeah. Well, yeah, I was tarping but in a way that is acceptable Brian I'm just gonna toss it. I'll never buy another one. I'm just gonna toss it in the trash So unless you like walking and pissing poop, I highly recommend not to buy this Well, I like walking and piss and poop I highly recommend not to buy this. Well, I like walking and piss and poop. I like how he said don't buy unless you like walking and piss like three times in that

review. Yeah, because that's what he's been saying for like a week. He tells everybody that. Oh, what do you think of it? Well, if you like, I tell you, you'll love it if you like walking and piss and poop. Big round of applause and his brain goes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said it to his wife a thousand times in the car. You know what I mean? Oh, I guess if you like walking in piss and poop. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no know what you're gonna say. No, no, honestly, honey. I like it I like the the purpose because I actually like walking in piss and It was like nah, nah

Not this guy goes bottom tank leaks out with the slightest movement I initially love this but as soon as it leaked well, I would say yes A bunch of my piss and shit The bottom of it all over everything it was like that was the point where I sort of fell out of love with this product Like I don't think portable toilet is a thing that is ever gonna work Flawlessly. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, it's dangerous situation I think when you're if you're gonna be carrying around your piss and shit You can't be carrying it around you gotta get rid of it you gotta get rid of it

It's waste you gotta get rid of it get it flushed away thrown away out of your life dare I say I'd rather shit the bag and throw it in the woods Yeah, well, that's you can't be doing that just shit in the woods. No, but the bag would be like a biodegradable bag Okay, cool. But why don't you just shit in the woods? Cuz I don't want my crap going all over the place Listen, here's what you do is you find like a like a tree that's down But gives you enough lift off the ground and you just kind of hang your ass off the backside and then reach up. I Can't very natural motion. Honestly, I can't

Rare anything like this was there was what we told a story for years When we were teenagers about this guy Jeremy taking a crap on a tree and wiping his ass with his underwear and then leaving his Underwear there, but it was like in the city Like it by the by the school that we used to smoke in the parking lot and like he pooped outside man Isn't that so crazy like that was like a crazy story to us And that ruined that that swore you off of it after you heard well, it was just like i'm not fucking nuts Okay, i'm not fucking crazy Yeah, yeah one time I was we we went when we were like in maybe grade seven

So I would have been 12 or 13. We did like a trip where we went portaging. Do you know what that is? Where you like you canoe and then you carry the canoe. So you're going on a trip where you're on the water and then you have to carry it over your head to the next lake or whatever. And we were in the huge lakes on Vancouver Island that we were doing it at. And the guy, my friend, who I was in the canoe with,

he had to take a shit. And we pulled over on the side of this beach ahead of people to take a shit. And we like pulled over on the side of this beach, like ahead of people to take a shit. And then he like went to take a shit and then everybody just came around like all the canoes, all the kids and all the teachers. And like we had totally miscalculated it. And he was like his ass facing towards where people were, you know, and he was like right on the shore Just like some people are literally seeing like shit come out of his ass. You know it was yeah, so that was my that's my experience I've shit in the woods before though most definitely out camping. Yeah, you have to do it sometimes man. Well. I don't do Just go camping for like three days. You can hold shit for three days. I

Cannot I can I mean I have before but strength Really, it's a strength thing. Oh You think you can hold it your shit because you're physically stronger You're saying that you're saying that like my sphincter is not as strong as your sphincter and can't hold the shit it as well Yeah, mine works hard, dude. All right, all right, all right. Finally, I initially loved this, but oh yeah, as soon as it leaked on the slightest movement, it's practically useless.

It got on my hands, ew. Practically useless? Yeah, I would say when it starts leaking and pissing shit out of there, I wouldn't use it anymore. Stained my carpet blue. Might as well just pee on the floor. I like the small size.

However, coming back with some pros after you're like, yeah, it spilled piss and shit all over my floor, ruined my carpet. I had to flush three times for per peepee break even not putting the tissue in the bowl. No biggie. That's about the jest of it. It's about J-E-S-T. And finally That's the jest of it speaking of jest of a Tom I need to share this now Do you do you know that Tito Ortiz the MMA fighter? He believes that the word that game chess like that you play with like he believes that it's called

chest With a T on the end and about ten different times publicly he is referred to he is like we quoted as saying you know boxing's like checkers and MMA is like chest and he actually thinks that's the word. Somebody told him that nerds are afraid to be tested. I don't know when it happened but it's this phenomenon you can see it on the internet where he's I mean he's one of the dumbest guys ever but that's particularly is just hits me for whatever Reason that he's going around and no one corrects him

Well, yeah, I mean Intimidation well that is camping now. I know what people are gonna say And it's kind of the same thing. I do have a picture of the place in Alpena, by the way I found the Airbnb listing if you'd like to see it. Let me let me bring it up here I it'll be hard to see though. I can't like actually get to the Hold on. Oh, here it is. Okay. Here we go. I'm gonna show you this and in retrospect Now when I'm looking at it, I should have known what was going on. Oh, what the hell man? Yeah, I mean this is this does not

Yeah, I mean it's yet somebody's driveway and there didn't look like it at first you look how nice that looks uh like it at first look how nice that looks uh well it did say Catalina on the yeah it does not I will say this I mean they have a fire going you know they got the right lighting for this sort of but I'll be honest with you yeah it's in a gravel it does not look nice to me it looks the inside of it looks like every single you know mobile home or whatever See and look at that like look at all. This is just these pictures these beautiful fucking pictures Yeah, it is it's on a it's on the lake. It's just This right here is the thing that sold me cuz I was like oh

It must be At a nice little place in the middle of nowhere. It was not it was Did they split into two units? No, but okay, so there's the house brian that's that this camera this photo was available to you Yes See this is this there's no way you could look at this photo and think you're gonna be in anyway You can see the house in the photo right? binoculars

See a guy leering in this photograph Fucking Wilson from home and proof I just didn't I didn't quite like I don't know what came over me that I didn't really notice that house I probably told myself it's a shed or something like that well that is camping guys all the picture for this episode if you want to look at it is the shot of the camper in the yard so there you go Tom of course camper in the yard. So there you go. Tom, of course, listen to the Trillbillies. Do you got anything else you want to plug? That's all I got, guys. Thanks for having me yet again. And yeah, it's always fun. Tom, people get... So I was in the discord earlier

today and we were talking about Brian's voice, how we like Brian's voice. And I said, speaking of great voices, we got Tom Sexton coming on a main episode and I'll tell you very overwhelmingly positive It's just extreme excitement. So the listeners truly love when you come on I think just as much as we do so Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. It's fun We'll see y'all next week. Goodbye. Bye