Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 135 - Joke Guys with Luke and DBJ from Stores

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

We had the Luke and DBJ from the brand new 1 word named podcast sensation Stores on the show this week to talk about Joke Guys! This is the happy episode where we check in with guys that love to tell jokes and the people who try to fix them! Also, do these jeans make my ass look fat? There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Hey, welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I don't know why I just came in like that. I think it's because it's a happy episode. I think we're going to call this. It's a joyous episode. Yeah. we're going to call this the happy episode and with me is a very funny man who loves jokes by the way actually I'll say this about Chris this episode was 100% geared towards him at first because he hates riffs so much so it's almost like the oops all riffs episode of the show I don't think I don't think I hate riffs I think that I hate the riffs that we encounter on our podcast. I think I've I think there's some real good riffs people you know I used to listen to obviously morning radio and or like you know shock shock radio and stuff and you think about some of those crazy riffs that these people would be going you know Bill Burr on opian anthony I mean this guy be these guys would be riffing you know Colin Colin Quinn so I mean if it's if it's those guys doing riffs when I'm you know 19 years old then yeah but nowadays what listening to people on message boards do really horrible riffs yeah I hate that so our guests this week we've had them both on before

but I wanted to have them both on at the same time the hosts of stores Luke hi Luke hello Brian DBJ dead blah oh Brian great to see you great oh it's great I've got it's the happy episode because I'm feeling the vibes are good. I think the vibes are also very good. The happy episode. Chris is fully looking at the ground right now, but that's okay. Our energy is going to be infectious. He almost looked like he had intentionally pulled down his hat so that his eyes were shadowed.

Like we could not see him. I just, to be totally honest, I was just looking at my phone just from like a, yeah, just like I'm something I'd do it. Just looking at something to do it by baby. That's all. I wasn't. I wasn't. I know. I don't want anybody who

now this picture is being painted of me being like checked out and me being like not part of this happy episode I want to be clear I'm as happy is that I've always I've always loved about Chris he's so good at excuses he comes up with all sorts of excuses

you said that and the the even more his eyes there's already no light behind them but they went pitch black with that comment Jesse so let's get to some jokes here this is our slash jokes this one's not safe for work. So don't be playing this out loud, okay? A man is at a supermarket when a beautiful blonde with large breasts walks up to him.

Excuse me, she says. This is how jokes used to be. They used to be fucking cool. Excuse me, she says, but I think you're the father of one of my kids. Oh, the man nervously says keeping his eye on his wife and kids. Are you that hooker I fucked behind the trampoline park during my son's birthday party no she answers i'm his math teacher what what that's a joke that's a joke what um who's math teacher who's math teacher his own child his own kids what but why she said it's one of my kids so like one of the kids in my class okay okay i see okay so he's made a bit of this seems like an easy easy punch up on this joke. Yeah. I think the first part is that you probably, your first response to a

strange woman coming up to you and your wife isn't saying, are you a hooker? I fucked in a trampoline part. That's probably not my opener. I'd probably try and figure out a little bit more information. This is one of those classic things where rearranging the joke could make it better. So, so obviously, so she calls him over and says, hey, come over here. I think one of your kids is in my class. And he goes, are you the hooker that I fucked? well because that's funny because it's that he's like insane and then the joke is that he's fucking crazy yeah you guys are using you guys are doing like irony kind of humor or whatever though you're doing irony humor these are jokes these are like classic jokes you're right

that's not a classic joke normal order that are that are classically yeah hard to figure out sometimes and also most of the time not really that particularly funny but sometimes these kind of jokes do hit i will say you know like every now and then as we read these i want you to like me what i did is picture a guy telling them to you somewhere and a bar like at a bar or in a bar and a guy tells me that joke so the first riff is it's not a birthday party without hookers in a trampoline just saying jesus christ he's just saying he's just saying he's just saying he's just saying he's just saying give him a break next guy goes

hookers and tramps that's a combo oh wait a second I didn't even draw that combination that's very good tramp is a sort of old fashioned word for sort of hussy they should call it a hooker lean hooker lean that's what I'm jumping on it's a really old one though right tramp

tramp is also like I guess like a hobo like charler chaplin's character well the next guy goes hookers tramps and thieves okay so not at a whole lot. Is that a reference? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Here's this guy. Let me give you this next one. You do know they were called jumpolins until my ex-mother-in-law got on one. Oh, nice. I kind of like that from an imagination standpoint. Because he's sort of building out this world where they used to be called jumpolines.

I do. It's very like 50 space age. Like, yeah. It's the new jumpoleon. And it really, I mean, I can agree with you just, it's beautiful. It's like, I can really imagine it. And then his, his fucking dumbass ex-wife, who's a tramp gets on it. No, no, no.

And that's the 60s. That's the era, that's the age of Aquarius. Even worse. Even worse. It's to stand mother-in-law. Oh, my God. That's even if you don't want one of those. That's actually crazy to call your mother-in-law, like, a horror.

Yeah. Well, it's okay to call your ex-mother-law, I mean, but that's like, you know, those wild dudes act that way, I guess. It is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, they can probably do something with that. Like, I'll leave that to the, to the, to the masters. Like she has abs. Yeah.

Abhor. The next guy goes, the variation that I heard was, are you the stripper that I fucked at my bachelor party whilst your friend shoved a cucumber up my arse? Oh, here we go. This is like the, um, the, like, what's that joke that, everybody does. The aristocrats. The aristocrats. Now they're all pulling in with their

version of it. Like the aristocrats. I like when he said arse at the end because it's like in glorious bastards when he did the wrong three. And it's like, I know you're a fucking commonwealth. I know. I know you showed your hand.

I'm not listening to a thing you say. You people have no humor. That does open. That happens to me listening to posts is that, yeah, they'll tip themselves to being British sometimes. than it all. They won't, like, I don't hate British people at all, but I just, it changes your view all of a sudden you're like, oh, okay, this is a British person saying this. Okay, now I got to understand

a little bit of more. Well, here's some help. Here's a little bit of help. Funnier if the friend was whistling while you work. Whistle while you work. Oh, that is funny. That doesn't have anything to do with, no. Wait, so that doesn't have anything to do with the premise, right? He's not doing the work. So she should be whistling while you work, not him. Now, you've never had, now, Luke, you've never been fucked in the ass no i have okay okay okay no all right i would i've somebody wanted so nobody in the call has been i've not no me either okay okay so none of us this guy goes this guy goes i got invited to a party with hookers and tramps i was disappointed to find out it was casual rugby game and there was a trampoline hookers and tramps and there was a

trampoline and now hookers is that a rugby yeah yeah hooker is a is a it's a position in rugby it's a rugby it's a rugby thing and then they were like how do we get jumping in here somehow how do we get trampoline so it's a homeless guys in this person's in this person's defense the the riff is very well rung out at this point right so you're kind of really getting to the like the bare bone stuff so it's like you're kind of stretching to keep it going and that's commendable you don't let these things die you keep them going and And, yeah, sometimes it's not going to be as good. It's going to be diminishing returns at the end probably.

Is knowing that, and I understand that you, of course, knew it as well, Chris. But to me, is there something British-coded about immediately going to Hookers, a rugby reference? Because I'm wondering if he's tipping his hat. And please, I'll fall to my betters. Or is he just a rugby enthusiast and perhaps American? Yeah, listen, rugby's a lot bigger in Canada than it is in America. Oh, so it could be Canadian. There's different, it could be Australia, like even, even there's Aussie rules, but there's also rugby's big there as well, South Africa.

It is big around the world in different places, but I would say it might might say that he's not American. And maybe hooker, I think it's a position, but it's definitely a rugby term, definitely. Well, I want to, I want to say that like the part about it that got me, the reason I cut this one out was because what adding the trampoline to a rugby game. like yeah you can't just do that right you can't like add a trampoline to the rugby has a has an issue with there's no rule that says you can't I mean this is this is riffing buddy there's no fucking rules on the fucking see what sticks I mean my god we're you know we're in the writer's room let's all yeah put some note cards up on the wall we don't need to use them all no bad ideas here's a new one here's a new joke here a seven year old and a four year old

are in their bedroom you know what I think it's time we started swearing said the seven year old when we go downstairs for breakfast all swear first than you sure replied the four year old they make their way downstairs and their mum asked the seven year old what she wants for breakfast he says i'll have frosties bitch what he flew out of his chair crying his eye out mum looks at the four year old and says sternly and what do you want he goes i don't know but it won't be fucking frosties see i think that's a good joke i've heard that joke before i think that's good. Also, he said, was the mum

intentional? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that all right, just want to, we're just put that, you know, ticking that up that box. So here we don't hate that. It's an old, it's an old joke. It's like, it's a dad thing. Like, your dad would like, your granddad would think it was really funny. But it's like, nothing wrong with it. We're going to come into. Another guy goes, reminds me a one of my favorites. A kid was sent home from school one day. Dad asks what for? Kid says teacher asked what three times.

four is and I said 12 dad says but that's correct and the kid says I know but then she asked what four times three is dad says what's the fucking difference kid said that's exactly what I said so this guy responds and goes well no wonder the teacher asked for the product not the difference what huh oh math because product is a multiplication and I just want to say I think if you're cursing in front of your kids like that and they're that young I think the real mystery or a real joke here is that they're that's a very broken home and i hope i hope they i'm hoping the best yeah not true you can let your kids cuss like the way that i did the way that i did it was hey don't do this to other people outside of the house but you can curse all you want in this house she didn't really curse

as much as you would think she does now but like back when she was real little it's like i can only remember like a handful of times where she cursed uh this guy goes i feel like the original joke could be improved to incorporate this confusion into it but i'm not fluent in English language. How do you correctly judge or even do so on my own help? And a guy goes, I got it. Dad says, what's the fucking difference? The son answered, it's one, but she asked for the fucking product. That's, that's fun. If you're in STEM, I imagine. Yeah, this is, that's, this is, that's, this is, like, math, like, like this or whatever. Universal language, they say, you know, he goes, but, but the difference is zero. Three times four minus four times three

is zero and also it changes the punch line. Is that a comment or is that well this guy goes yeah incorrect and doesn't actually reveal the kid got in trouble for cursing even if he is cursing to his dad. The joke is fine as is

God damn it man. The dad can say it's the same fucking thing and change nothing else. This is this is the tedious shit I was afraid it was going to be this is like the stuff where it's like they are the analysis is the death that like this is like really just breaking down a whole like just just jokes that are like whatever and they're not even good you know they're not like it's not like you're taking these like wonderfully like respected pieces of like these jokes

written by like the best comedians or whatever you're just taking this shit and then getting into the fucking weeds about it way and nothing this is one of the rare times where I think I'm really imagining guys on their lunch break or like during work, you know, wasting time on the clock doing this. This is a other rare examples where I think they actually would be better served just watching Instagram reels. I think they would get more out of that. Actually. Than just commenting on that little of like this back and forth argument on Reddit about how to make a shitty joke more specific. Not better.

Not better. More specific. That is true. This guy goes, the difference between four and three is one. That's why you start with 34. than 43 and what's the difference what the fuck is he talking about just he doesn't even understand what he's saying just she can Ryan can we well go to more one more okay this could possibly work if the teacher didn't say four times three but the only ostensible change is the teacher saying

what about four and three but then it gets too convoluted to finish the joke with a good punchline too convoluted for perhaps with four and three the kid replies there's one difference that agrees and is still asking why that got him in trouble teacher and what would you what would that be kid you change the order of the fucking numbers or possibly what else is the fucking difference between four and three could also have dad say and what would that what what would that be she changed the order of the fucking numbers kid replies this is this is insane i can't be the only person that it's just completely lost no i was letting it wash over me this guy's doing fucking 12 angry man about the four times three bit.

Like I don't know what the fuck he's doing. Is there anyone listening who's like fully following what he's the point? Because I could just have gotten like I think I'm just getting bored of than not really like paying attention. But it just seems like this is not complete nonsense. Four times three. No, it doesn't make sense. And the important part of the joke is not four times three. No.

So at least important part of joke. It's the cursing. Yeah. I'm imagining like, hmm, I think what we make this joke better is if my kid was sort of like a math savant and had like an understanding of numbers that was so complex for his age that he was able to destroy teacher in one foul swoop. He goes, he goes, well, what I said was what else is the fucking difference between four and three? And he goes, but I prefer how succinct the joke is as is making a bit longer kind of ruins. Why were you saying anything? literally watch a watch us fucking a video of like an AI dog going to the moon instead of writing that paragraph like truly that's a better use of your fucking time here's our next joke fucking hell love this is interesting i said to the wife looking up from my computer what is with all the commonwealth shit why is this is he must be British the British people are slash Joe our slash British

R slash jokes British. Yeah, must just be British. This is clearly a British version. Can I tell you what's odd? I was looking up like, I was trying to find some old extremely wordy, like long, like shaggy dog kind of jokes for a stream thing. And I found that most of the forums and stuff that had these were British forums. So I'm wondering if it is jokes over there. Yeah, British people are more into jokes.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Well, it goes, it says here, this one is going to get you. I know it. It says here that the giant squid, which until last year had never been seen alive, is actually estimated as a 100 million strong species worldwide. What the hell are you telling me that for?

She said angrily. You were supposed to be on the internet searching out cool tattoo designs for my bum cheek. I was love, I told her, but I had to make sure there'd be enough ink first. Because your dumb, stupid fucking wife is a giant squid. Yeah. Yeah. that's okay all right now i'm it was a long walk but at the end i understand your dumb idiot wife is the biggest is a big fucking squid monster yeah yeah yeah no she's not a squid monster

she's so big no she's that in order to do a tattoo on her ass right this ass that is big like the squids are the amount you're imagining an ass that's big i promise you this ass is bigger than what you're imagining and and this ass is so damn big this guy had to check on the population of squid to see if they had enough ink to see if there's a big enough squid i legitimately didn't get that you didn't get that sorry you really didn't get that i was jumping on your thing because i thought that you were saying something weird on purpose yeah i thought i was just because squids are big as fuck no he was making an ink he was talking this is a pretty it's a pretty it's a pretty um smart joke i can understand my head so you know what it's not yeah

Does ink come from squids for real? No. No. Okay. I mean, I mean, I mean, it's not the end of me, but, but the, the joke remains funny, you know, regardless, uh, it's one of the great, I like my version better. Can I just say my wife's a big stupid, big fucking squid monster that's disgusting and I hate her.

Yours is better. I like, yeah, better. Yeah. Well, this guy helps out. Um, he goes, a girl trying on some short asks her boyfriend, does my bum look big in this? The boyfriend went, um, well, uh, the girlfriend said, come on, honey. We've been together for so long now.

You can tell me anything and I won't be upset. I promise with every fiber of my being. I want you to be honest with me. Okay, said the boyfriend. I fucked your sister. Chris is smiling. I really, I didn't see that one coming. That's a classic misdirection.

What the, um, the, the, the, the, the, a lot of stuff about these big ass. Now, I'm thinking about this, so it's not necessarily bad to have a big ass. It's not considered to be a bad thing, right? I wonder, is it meant as an insult? Even if you're British, is it bad to have a big ass? I don't know. Maybe the British people don't like that big ass because, I mean, I got, I'm thinking, that's a good thing having that big ass.

I'm thinking Kim Kardashian, you know? So you're a, I know you're a big Kardashian. I know, you know what I mean, man. And I, hey. The picture? Yeah, which she's holding in the, in the, dude, that shit goes crazy. I'm going to get that tattoo. And imagine a squid doing that.

Do you think there's enough squid ink for that? A squid. Imagine a squid shooting ink out of its own ass over its head into a champagne glass off of its big ass. Okay, now I'm horny. Or it's beak. You know, it's got that beak. We could get that in there somewhere. This guy goes, L.

O.L. literally must have been a white girl. When a black woman asked that question, you say, hell yeah. Okay. okay what over under is the person that posted that white i think that that was that's what i'm saying that's a person saying like that person's saying like they they they like well they're saying black people like big ass that's what they're saying but i think that i would argue that maybe i would argue that a lot of people do as well you know but that's these days flat ass i mean i think of

it's one of the parts but this is this is all these jokes are crusty and old and from a hundred years ago when it was bad to have a big ass and it was bad to be yeah it was bad for a woman to have any weight at all anywhere on her entire body that's what they're going off of so these are yeah these are years you're right these are like old recycled jokes even though they might be posted more recently they're from like the 1970s yeah that's a good point well 70s I think 70s I think actually loved thick women so I'm gonna go a little further back I don't think that's I don't believe that the 70s no because I was around in the 90s and we were kind of like get that thing as flat as you can. 90s is Courtney Cox.

They literally the cast of friends look like they're going to die at any moment on stage. Skeletal. Skeletal. Yeah. I like it. I'll put a book in your pants. So just flattens out in the back. That's a joke riff. I just did. I like that. Because I you love the ass so flat. Yeah. I found it so I find it so crazy that in 2025 we're riffing on do these jeans make my ass look big like that is the oldest joke in the history of the world i can't nobody could even tell you who came up with that right it's every stand-up comedian from like 1980 to like now has one of those jokes i don't even know what jokes you're talking about those specific you've never heard does these jeans make my ass look fat i've heard it i just don't even like oh the world makes

you're or something like you know what i mean yeah i go like just like in a movie or something like that like or do anywhere comedians that did it this guy goes i the l-o-l literally must have been a white girl oh no he the next guy goes the proper response no matter the race involved is damn i like that okay he's got a good energy when they really cut through the bullshit you know like i fucked your sister damn like these i can get behind this right now yeah yeah yeah that's funny to me yeah i like that too damn next guy goes do these jeans make me look fat no it's your big ass that makes you look fat don't blame it on the jeans that one's just me that's honestly that was just a mean

oh do you guys don't like roast comedy okay sorry some of us when we sit down at the fucking table at the special table at the back of the comedy mothership that's the new place now. Are you ready to hear a king level riff here? Oh, yeah. Oh, Christ. This guy goes, do these jeans make my ass look fat? And he goes, no, but the fact that our memory foam mattress has checked into therapy

is a good indicator. Holy shit. Fuck. All right. Well, because you know what? Paint some other fucking picture. I'm like, okay, I kind of like it. There's a mattress at therapy.

The mattress is going to therapy. I mean, then you do this family guy cut away. It's got eyes. kind of hunched over a little bit to show that it has a spine and it's like right yeah her ass is so fucking big uh-huh and how did that make you feel i mean this is rights itself really yeah the memory foam is on a shay lounge it's on a different like it's laying down in the psychiatrist office and then it and then it can the button could be huh i get why my humans always are doing this you know yeah the fact that our memory foam mattress has checked into

therapy is a good indicator here's one who goes there's nothing wrong with your eyes babe when he woke up in the hospital the doc said his eye should be healed enough to see normally again in a month or so what that's the same joke huh it's the next joke that's the next riff sorry why his eye got what are you talking about the wife says do these jeans make my ass look fat he says there's nothing wrong with your eyes babe when he woke up in a hospital the doc said his eyes should be healed enough to see normally again in a month or so so what happened was he said the jeans you're let me help you okay so here's how it goes the woman says do these jeans make my ass look fat he looks at her and he goes there's nothing wrong with your eyes babe which

she didn't ask but that's what he's saying okay right why is he saying that because then her eyes because then he that if she thinks they look at like big they are the eyes are correct the eyes are correct whatever it is real she hits him as hard as she can't and then he wakes up in the hospital and his eyes will be healed normally again in a month or so what the fuck she it's sort of it's sort of a literal eye for an eye it's homerabi's code is that you don't solve my eye and then I take yours for a month that's one of that Brian can I say something that's one of that's that's actually one of the worst riffs I've ever heard like it doesn't really it doesn't really work it's so clunky it's like yeah it's really like

it's really in a yeah we're obviously not a lot of this stuff is super funny but like that one seems to be unable to even participate in in any of it he should have to explain it like i did yeah yeah you know what i mean somebody should say to him all right now let's see your your work you show your work but do they down they just down vote that or just not okay okay okay i think i have i think have a good punch up for it okay so so the guy the woman ass is my ass does my ass look fat in this the guy says oh your eyes are working just fine and then she turns around and says shut the fuck up bitch and that beats the shit out of him that is basically the joke yeah but we really we get no we get into the specifics emotions of it because we're missing the emotion you guys are going

to love this this this first right goes the husband is currently in the hospital recovering from his injuries and then that riff comes and goes but she promised not to be angry and then the next guy goes and enjoying a short vacation some men may add because he's in the hospital for a moment now he at least he gets to get away from yeah so this is that going off of that they old definitely like 80s 90s kind of well of course you hate your wife you want to get away from her you know you never want to be around her ever obviously that's weird that's like a that's just a starting point for a conversation between any two men who are married. My stupid wife.

Here's another riff for everybody. This is from the Facebook peg Chuck Norris jokes and facts. Yes, dude. I don't like this. This post is from four hours ago. Yes. This folks is from yesterday. No.

No. I feel like I have to tell you this is from yesterday. Right. Right. This guy goes, the only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. come on man come on

when it's so clearly a guy trying his own hand at it is just can't we only have our heart only beat so many times before we die you know what I mean and you're wasting these precious moments on earth doing this you know the seconds of oxidation

honey are you ready honey are you ready are you ready we got to we're going to the thing right that you're the thing where the dinner where are you honey yeah just hang on just hang on one second i'm just trying to get the wording right here on it like if chuck norris was if chuck norris was if he was ever wrong but he's not ever wrong but he's not ever wrong so how do i make that makes sense honey are you and funny and funny are you chuck norris joe what they're still doing the chuck norris

i like there's a bunch of great guys on here we just like riff back and forth all day it's awesome me and my boys used to me guys played poker now guys go on Facebook pages and say this in between posting racist articles about the police I think you couldn't tell people in your real life about that

I guess I would depend but I think this is would be embarrassed this is like an embarrassing thing to participate in even by riffers I think even if you had friends who were like known rippers

online riffers and people who like engage in a lot of riffing I think if you're like you know it was the other day it would be like thing like you're like by grudging they'd be like the other day I was like fucking riffing

on some fucking Norris you know like What's the idea of you saying I was riffing on some Norris Oh really? Don't beat yourself up man It's like I understand sometimes you've like You get needed to riff you're not feeling super

creative you're just like nervous to go on R slash jokes you don't think you're funny enough So you warm up with some Chuck Norris riffs Before you get into real stuff Getting nervous to post on jokes on like you're in the green room of a comedy club the story you go into the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror okay let's

let's bring the funny well the first comment was for Michael and he says got sick of these years ago but that is very good funny because he's also in the group he's been in that group he's looking at it enough to get updates for it you know but that really got me that he's just like

he recognizes he's like I know this is gone but there's no juice left in this yeah he's like I haven't left one of these in years, but for God's, for your heaven's sakes, that one fucking got me. And the peak of Chuck Norse jokes for me was when I was like fucking 12. Like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's very early internet.

It's very e-bombs world-coded to me. It's 30 years ago, probably 25, 25 years ago, maybe 20. You think it was that old? Because I was... 20 years ago, I think, is a fair estimate. I'd say 50 years ago. If I was, if I was 12, it would have been 2007. That's when I'm thinking, like, when I was getting into the memes. So it's almost 20 years ago is when, like, can you

look up that can anybody do that i don't know how you would find it i'm going to look up know your meme chuck norris and see what you're going chuck norris a first ever chuck norris joke date and just let google a i do the rest hit this guy goes if chuck norris were to go vegan that would not be a huge missed steak what's not a chuck musk norris joke that's not a chuck norris joke you're trying to infiltrate the chuck norris fear with pretty standard uh sort of plays on words that's not that yeah that's just a vegan joke that's not a chuck nor is get that out of here vegan 2005 is what new year me okay 20 years ago 20 years ago that makes sense that makes sense 2005 about two years later would have been the peak yeah and it's kind of the joke it it reads to me

as the type of joke I've talked about this in the past my dentist growing up uh was a jokes guy but he would print the jokes off he would have these jokes jokes on paper that he would get facts to him and he would give them to my parents like as they left now I only saw one or two of them because they were all like dirty jokes my parents were like you can't see these but then I saw them in their room the papers the printed off papers of dirty jokes of like you know like playboy jokes you know what I mean like the pictures and stuff what that's psychotic that your dentist like is handing out dirty jokes did he have the paper like in the room like posted on the wall so he could like look up and tell a joke.

No, it was just to give to the people. Just to give away. Here's a packet on the way out. You know what I'm saying? A parting gift. Like here's a couple of the things that you want to, you want to have a good laugh on the way home? Like, yeah.

That's what it was. Yeah. The child orthodontist is giving the most disgusting crass jokes possible to the parents. Did he do the dentist work on your parents as well? Yeah, he did it on all of us. Okay, so he did the whole family and then so he's, So it's like a dentist who he's thinking, like, you know, you give candy because it's like

a bad experience. So let's try to have it be a good experience afterwards. And his idea was to give dirty jokes for you to read and then have a little chuckle to yourself so you could forget your experience. It is. It feel like maybe his heart's in the right place. It's less psychotic than I first thought. But I think it's misguided for sure.

Just give me a kid a toy and send them home. Yeah. The parents don't need anything. The parents don't need anything. yeah parents don't need anything when you become an adult you go to the dentist and you fucking deal with it that's yeah yeah well i don't i get put under uh this guy goes but he also wasn't wrong about being wrong which was right about not being wrong so he's he's a rising contributor to this one next guy goes if chuck uh this guy goes since trump is president it must

mean that chuck norris wants trump to be potis if chuck norris didn't want trump to be potis Trump would not be POTUS That's why I voted for him Trump would not be POTUS He would not be potus Saw the writing on the wall Explain all you fucking Norris Defenders explain to me this

How come there's actually How come there's famine in the world How come there's famine in the world? It's interesting that Norris has not done anything About the All of the wars that are happening Yeah Start attacking the Norris fans

Yeah. Like really, here's one. Here's the next one here. It's a meme. I'm going to share it to you guys. So Van Dam does an epic split, but Chuck Norris is driving both trucks. Now, there's two trucks and Van Dam or some guy is between them doing the splits. Now, this is probably an AI picture. I don't think this is real. But Chuck Norris driving both trucks. That's so it's basically like saying like, oh, yeah, that he's, that's the kind of thing. He's, that's the kind of thing. He's, that's the kind of thing. they compare him to like the other guy how much he's so much superior he's a god he has god like abilities he's a god one man let's hear the riffs on this though because i feel like this is it's a solid starting off point for some pretty good riffage in fact the truck stands still chuck is driving the world what what peep beep hang on it's like i feel like you went a little too far with it right at the gate fucking steering wheel driving the whole world i mean here's what i'll say about that nonsense but I like the imagination I like the imagery I agree I agree with you that I like the

imagination there and but I do think that it's kind of shooting your walk like you're a little bit like that's where you go from there that's the that's the furthest thing you know let it build up to it a little bit this guy goes uh Chuck Norris would split them with his pinky and thumb uh split what the truck trucks the trucks I guess okay but he's not he's doing the splits I think Did you know exactly what you're responding to there? He's got very long thumbs. That's just sort of, this guy's sort of a monster. He's got like an extra thumb bone in each thumb.

Yeah. So he can do the splits with his thumbs. Next post is just the guy saying Chuck Norris is a god. Yeah. That's okay. He gets a reply. Now he gets a reply and a guy goes, God praise the Chuck Norris.

Yeah. yep i mean that cuts which i don't know i don't like that because it's like bullshit it's the premise of all the jokes is that he's the god well it's lowering god to human level which obviously only ever happened once excuse me that you think chuck norris is human boy

excuse me no it's actually no it's actually lowering god to chuck norris level that's a little bit bit higher than human yeah i think so i think he's driving the whole freaking world and a big fucking apparatus that sits on the North Pole and he gets on the steering wheel

and he can drive it through the space. Is your uncle doing that? Is your uncle doing that? Oh. Oh, God's driving the earth. I don't think so, dude. He just watches it. Like a bitch.

Here's a good one. Do you think the controller on the North Pole is like a zero turn motor or mower? Yes. With the two levers. Like a pod racer? No, not like a, Luke. Sorry, sorry.

Sorry. I thought it was. I think of it as the steering wheel and lost the steering wheel and lost that drives the island like it's kind of what i was right is that is that there is a point where they drive the island what that's so sick i did not know that it like cranks up like a speedboat like sideways out of the water they don't show the island move but he's driving the island this guy goes this guy the next question from august from august 16th he goes Who would win and comment why?

John Wick or Chuck Norris? You're going to really... Well, John Wick isn't real, so... The girlies are fighting. I mean, this is so sad to even think about. I think John Wick only got like three votes. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

This guy goes, John Wick was a force to be reckoned with till he faced Chuck Norris and he changed to one week because he was in a comma for one week. Comma? Huh? He said comma. sorry one week would be would be john wick j-u-a-n is that correct one week okay that's actually that's actually fucking that's actually pretty good okay because i don't really get how it's good to be he turned into one week right he turned hispanic i guess no no no no i mean i guess maybe but

that's not the main part i mean juan is a traditionally Hispanic name yes of course yes Hey, listen, Hispanic people are getting caught in the crossfire this joke a little bit. But I think it's just mainly to make it sound like one week, of course. So then he can bust out the hilarious joke of saying because he spent one week in a coma. But it's, okay, but it would be, it is odd that it's like, I don't know, like, let me picture a slight difference. Okay. What if it was Y-U-A-N, like the Chinese currency? And it was one week.

And like, that would be weird to you, right? And then, and then he says, yeah, because he, he, he was. was put in a Chinese hospital because they were fighting in Beijing. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They felt like a bunch of scaffolding.

This guy goes, because Chuck Norris once had a bet with Superman, the loser of the fight had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Oh, and Superman classically wears his underwear on the outside. A lot of, a lot of, I found in the Chuck Norris verse, a lot of like origin stories that you didn't realize were actually came from Chuck a lot of like he he's responsible for he's he's forest gump as yes this guy goes this is not a question chuck ring is his booger i'm sorry you know what's crazy i was also trying to think of a green lantern riff this guy goes this guy goes this is not a question chuck norris wins so he's kind of mad yeah that's the right way to deal with this

like there's certain things you can joke around about and riff on but it's like when people start saying oh who's better john wick or chuck noise it's good to just shut that down and just say this is fucking stupid you're being actually super ignorant and the obvious answer is chuck north that's the right way getting on that for getting on that facebook group every day and just any time someone posts something like that do you're like dude what the fuck are you talking about this is actually one of the stupidest things i've ever heard you could not be more wrong well the next guy says unfortunately at the end of the day Wick would probably get the drop on Chuck Norris.

Only a statement from Reeves would be able to convince me otherwise. So somebody's asked. Christopher Reeves. Keanu Reeves. Oh, oh, oh. It would be funny if they ask Christopher Reeves about John Wick. Christopher Reeves. Do you think John Wick could beat Chuck Norris?

So now we need to get a statement from Keanu Reeves about whether he thinks John Wick could beat up Chuck Norris. Yeah, the actor who plays him. I mean, yeah, that's a... What about the writers? Somebody would ask that. Somebody would ask that, and Keanu Reeves, he's so polite, he would fucking do his best to answer the stupid bullshit.

Yeah, I would not be surprised if that's some, like, Comic-Con. I don't know. Would he ever do something like that, though? No, I don't know. He would never be on a panel, right? He's too famous, yeah. This guy goes, because John Wick is a fictional character,

Chuck Norris is a real person. No, but that's... Listen. wait he's not really though not in this not in this context he's not right and then the next guy goes this next guy he just goes don't disrespect chuck norris come on you fucking idiots leave him alone those are the people i most respect the ones who yeah they're just like shut the fuck up just defenders the chuck norris defender is logged on and finally this person goes john wick killed three people with a pencil that chuck norris used in

kindergarten. Wait a second. They didn't use it to kill. Wait a second. Did he kill a bunch of kids? He was drawing, I can't actually tell who that one is on the side of. He was drawing in kindergarten. I don't know who he thinks would win.

Right. Chuck Norris has a strong pencil. Like, Chuck Norris is right. Right. Okay, yeah. Right. Chuck Norris has a strong pencil. So Chuck Norris is like, but his is even stronger because that one that.

that John Wick used for his murder was the one that he was using back when he was five. So now the one presumably that he has now is like way stronger, his new pencil. Yeah, it's like a, yeah, it's like a metal pencil. Yeah, it's like really strong. Well, still would sense to me. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not sure. But a beautiful mahogany.

It's tough to say if that person actually believes John Wick or or Chuck would win. Let's read some book reviews. Uh, oh, wait, actually, I wanted to do some political jokes. I know we don't do politics on here. We don't talk politics usually, but we can do political humor and jokes. But on Quora, it says, what joke best illustrates the difference between Democrats and Republicans? This guy goes, uh, what joke best represents, sorry. This guy goes, uh, how many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, with his pen and phone, he'll mandate that all private employers offer free lightbulb screwing for their employees. with his pen and phone with his pet and phone the pet and phone are mightier than the sword this guy he goes how many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb

excuse me why is it our job to screw in your light bulb okay yeah I guess that like structurally there's nothing wrong with that yeah these are the kind of jokes that are only looking to be correct and not funny

they're only looking to be like make some point that they think they're making it. But it's really correct. Democrats do be having their pen and their phone. I mean, that is so classic, Ro. Here's the, here's I'm going to break it down. You guys, I don't know if you guys are into politics.

I've been getting into it recently. I'm trying to. It's confusing. Go ahead. So what will happen is you try to just use your pen, right? But then it's like, God, you're sitting there waiting around, you know, this is taking forever. Yeah.

And that's when the phone comes into play. Right. This is a direct line to these people that you're writing these notes and letters, too. Could call the president on that thing. Yeah. If you have the president's number, you could, yeah. Yeah. This guy went off the rail.

So this is all, this guy has this post. He starts out with how many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? That's the question. Okay. And I'm the only Canadian here, right? And you're going to go nuts. I'm going to try not to laugh too hard at this one. Yeah.

One, Republicans. One, but they're so angry at. being asked that they break two light bulbs the next time it needs changing they deny the dark what deny the dark that's kind of a beautiful turn of phrase deny the dark is deny the dark i think that um that's like the tagline for like a spider man musical this guy goes uh democrats say it again say that yeah i would like guys i basically couldn't follow it yeah yeah one it takes one Republican to change a light bulb because they are, but

they get so angry at being asked that they break two bulbs and the next time it needs changing they deny the dark. Like denying global warming or something? It feels like this is like a very direct thing that they're trying to, comparison they're trying to make it. A very

specific thing. A very specific thing. It's not landing at all. Again, I think even if it did land it would make zero people laugh ever, but some people might go like this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's weird because they're not actually changing the light bulb. They're breaking two light bulbs.

Right. Why is there a next time? You get what I'm saying? Well, they changed it first. They changed the first one. Yeah, usually when you do a changing the light bulb joke, you probably talk about the time where you're talking, the present. You're not really thinking about future times you change the light bulb. So that's a bit confusing.

Called too far. I'm like, where are we? Democrats, one, but they have no. spares then buy the wrong bulb so they have to make two costly trips to the store to get it done and that's just what I do I mean it's like government oversight I don't I what what I guess just in a government inefficiency like costly trips to the store two costly trips to the store deny the dark two costly trips to the store I mean this is this the same guy Brian no yes it is it is it's like his like list of right I mean he's you know he's a poet what are you

supposed to say, you know. Number three, libertarians. None, since there's no government, there's no electric power and light bulbs are unnecessary. Sure. Yes, libertarians. Three, a trade unionists. Three, a senior ball. It's not like a political stance. Three, a senior bulb procurer hired by the Republicans that also greets at Walmart. a junior bulb locator hired by the Democrats to keep the bulb drawers filled and an immigrant that screws the balls. Okay.

Brother, I am, uh, this, this is, this is just getting dragged out. Yeah. Communists. I do see your, I do. I know what this guy believes in. I think. I think. Yeah.

He believes it's all a bunch of crap. Yeah, he thinks he can't trust any of them. All this stupid crap. And it's all angles, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's kind of stupid. Centrist.

There's 11 of these. I only cut five. Okay. But there's 11 of them. Oh, God. And finally, communists. Thousands since the five-year plan will require public bulb screwing training for everyone on pain of death. But there are no light bulb.

So everyone waits in the dark, afraid to fall asleep. Pain of death. Pain of death. Deny the dark pain of death. It's Rift time. It's Rift Time. This person goes, you forgot. Tim Foil Hack conspiracy theorists.

Darkness is just a liberal hoax. No need for light bulbs, you foolish sheeple. Surgeons don't really need lights to operate. They've been brainwashed. If you're afraid to drive at night on the freeway when nobody has headlights, then stay home in fear. Hey, you forgot my stupid long, unfunny idea. And can I say to the record, can I say for the record, deny the dark includes all that.

And it's very poetic, it's very concise, Deny the Dark paints that world for me better than any sort of long-witted thing about the highway and conspiracy. Deny the Dark is clearly a genius statement that it came out of like nonsense, but every now and then, right? You throw a bunch of shit a lot. It's the Monkees typewriter thing. Yeah, totally, totally. That's a, that's a really nice phrase.

But yeah. Don't mumble it. You mumbled it and I could see you like typing something. Deny the Dark. I'm trying to remember it for my stories. the next guy goes the next guy just tags on to this and he goes yes and those streetlights and highway signs are all part of that same liberal conspiracy too paid for taxes which are a kind of theft didn't you know i bet you don't know that many of the city and state government that

have perpetrated these lights and street signs attend international meetings convened by the united nations where they exchange ideas on road safety street lighting and the like it may seem innocuous, but it's all part of the New World Order and George Soros is to blame. He's fully doesn't know it's a joke threat. He's just like, he's like, I'm going to get in here.

I don't know. I don't know that I, I don't know I've ever, that I've ever been so checked out during this podcast than I was just in those last few moments there. Like I just, I genuinely, looking out the window, looking at the river and just stopped

listening entirely to what Brian was saying, I never do that. Meanwhile, a woman has gone to the cupboard where she keeps her light bulbs, chooses the correct one, note stock levels, and adds to her shopping list, those that she is running low on, replaces the bulb without a fuss. Wait a second. Is a woman is a, aren't we doing political parties or what's going on here? Suffra Jets, I think, is when you know what to do. Suffer Jets. Yeah. Well, hey, our original poster does reply to that. But this thread is about partisan political parties. Thank you. Women is too broad a category. And as a rule, women are too smart. I will add number 13. That's because so he did 13 of them.

As a rule, women are too smart. I mean, another beautiful phrase, sorry. You know, a lot of time. Women love taking inventory and keeping track of. As a rule, as a rule, women are too smart. He goes, but this, he goes 13. This is his 13th one. Militant feminists.

Three. What? Come on. One empowered feminist who stockpiles LED bulbs in all sizes, exclusively for women, one grad student who picks the wrong ball deliberately to duck the job, and a neighborhood teenager that steals the horde, screws in the right bulb, and poses for a selfie on eBay. This guy is like, this guy is treating this.

This person is treating this like, they're like a creator who's like, listen, I've been getting a lot of emails asking me to do one on the women. So I will do one on women. Like, you know, like, when you said like, hey, can you please make a video about this? You know those, those like reaction channels or whatever? Yeah, yeah, yeah. People will always get on them. Like, you've got to react to this.

You've got to do this. This guy's like, fine, here it is. And you can tell this one's a little forced. You can tell it's like they didn't originally want to do this one. So it's kind of like a little bit sort of jackknifed in there, you know. He's a comedian doing Quora jokes. What's the, what's the, just the grad student picked the wrong one? I don't I that's where it fell apart a little bit for me I don't really is it oh because they're picking something contrarian is that I'm not really sure that again I don't think it's really yeah that's I don't I don't understand any of the three things so I went on Amazon and I I looked at some reviews of a book called and I got to show you guys the cover of this yeah because I think you got to see the cover to get some of the reviews this is terribly awesome dad jokes okay Brian and I are

dads you either of you guys you guys aren't dads right we aren't dads but I don't have them based on the cover I know exactly I believe that every single person who bought this book looks like that cover come to life you know exactly this guy goes I I'm just going to say though if this is going to Brian and I might get some of these a little more than you so before you sort of jump on them and start saying oh what the hell this is so stupid keep in mind Brian and I might think they're actually very well these are reviews Chris and this person says disappointing dad jokes this is a silly book shouldn't sell and I would like to return. Very good.

This person goes, hated it. Hated it. Thought it would be good jokes for a dad to say to kids. It's not full of stupid innuendos and some that kids shouldn't hear. Went right into the trash. Right into the trash. I want to hear some of the jokes, though.

This is upsetting to me because we don't, we can't judge. We don't know if these people are right or not. This is the jokes episode. and we're not hearing jokes. I'm sorry. I have more jokes. I do have... This is supposed to be the happy episode.

Well, I'm going to shut... Fine. We're going to go back to this thing. People are burning books. It's horrible. The throwing him in the garbage. No, we love what... We love people reviewing things.

It's just I just feel like... I feel like I want to know what those jokes are. We'll get you the book. This guy goes, this is all for... Brian, don't just say that if you're not going to do it. I'm going to send it to you. Send me that book. please of the dad jokes i would like to read some of those dad jokes and i'll do my own review now more

than ever chris i mean you got to get certain yeah yeah sorry luke some of them are inappropriate for children i found out i think and i'm not kidding i think ryan can you read pedophile jokes in it or something like what's a bad joke about kids can i and can i well can i just say something and i mean maybe i'm wrong here i i happen to be wrong but wouldn't like a like a child would really relate to a pedophile here's the book i'm talking about actually they would they would be in i don't know that they understand the you know they don't understand fear i'm sorry this joke book is called seriously sick jokes the most disgusting filthy offensive jokes from the vile obscene disturbed minds

of b3 ta dot com what is that do you have any idea not a clue not a fucking idea B3.a.com. It's like beta or whatever, right? We love the web. Oh, this is like one of those places you've never heard of. Oh, yeah, this is an amazing website. Oh, my God.

Sci-fi food. This is the future of... What the fuck? This is the hell of a fucking website, you know? This looks crazy. It's like the chive, Chris. It's chival.

dude i need to i'm there's a message board bro this is a place so this is uh this person goes four stars an honest attempt at offensiveness the jokes range from silly to those in poor taste to pretty sit some you will have heard before especially the helen keller jokes the dead baby jokes establish the seriously sick end of the spectrum many of the jokes are topical and dated princess as Diana, Superman, et cetera, but are funny, and the logic of the joke can be extended to apply to current celebs as appropriate. The occasional joke is repeated within the book. That's strange.

Some illustrations are very hard to read and contain microscopic print. As best I can tell from the comments, this is not identical to the B3TA book of sick joke sold on Amazon.co.uk, but it's nearly the same. This gets points for seriously trying to be as juvenile and offensive as possible and remain publishable so so really pushing the envelope this is somebody who's a free speech warrior and it respects the fact that hey even though you seem to have cut some corners you know reprinting jokes a number of times in the in the book and stuff I do respect that you're at least you know saying the R word a lot or something like that Chris I want to read this to you because

I think you're going to love it this is a three star review sent this to a friend that loves gross jokes and I thought it was in that vein. However, there's some Christ jokes and little kid jokes that were crossing the line, I guess. I didn't read it myself. Can you imagine? Oh, no. Oh, no, Brian. Oh, no. This is, this is a nightmare. This is something I think you might enjoy, actually. It's like, I'm very religious and I have young children. Why did you send me this book that has a bunch of pedophile and Antichrist? jokes in it. It's a nightmare.

You send somebody a dirty joke book for a present and it's got Christ jokes in it? I mean, that is way over. Yeah. Yeah, that is. The pedophile jokes are fine, but it's when we talk about Christ is where I really draw the line. I think it feels like it's not a, I would say that just personally, I would not send a dirty

joke book to somebody as a gift. No. Because unless I was going to read it and I wouldn't read it. it. So I'm not going to do that, right? Like, I wouldn't want to risk that I send the thing saying, hey, this is, I thought you might think this is funny. And then one of the jokes is like, you know, insane or whatever. Yeah. Well, I love the idea of sending a dirty joke book to your friend who would be offended by a Christ joke. Yes. Yeah. That's right. When Christ got nailed on the cross, his boner got so big that he didn't bleed out of his hands and his legs, something like that. Yeah. This book is, this book is called one thousand one. He bled out of his penis instead. This book is called. 1,001-1 liners and short jokes. The ultimate collection of the funniest laugh out loud rib dicklers. Luke is laughing so hard at Jesus's crucifixion.

It's funny. His boner was, you know, because the thing when you get your boner gets so big, you pass out. He does it. And then it's like, he's like,

oh, his hands aren't even bleeding. I guess he's fine. Because all the one is in his penis. Right. And then there's another crucifix hanging off of his dick. and there's another guy We joke around a lot on here

It's a comedy podcast And we appreciate you guys coming on But we don't make those kind of jokes Can I say something about B3TA This place that we found I found a A thread question of the week I'm sorry I've written a joke

This is a joke thread on B3TA Yes I'm gonna check I'm gonna become a B3TA guy I'm me too This is my new spot Okay and there's I mean There's a bunch of of really, really bad ones. They're all really, really bad. However, there's one guy called

Tukhan Chunder, and I'm just going to read out some of the setups and not the jokes. Just like, I'm just going to read them all in order. What English chess grandmaster shat himself during his match with Gary Kasparov? What does Gary Kasparov sing to the accompaniment of Bavarian folk style brass instrument music? And that's, it goes on for two more sentences. Why did Gary Kasparov grab it the flamboyant homosexuals, stylishly decorated genitalia? Where does Gary Kasper keep a record of all of his chess matches. What does Gawi Kasparov wank over?

How does Gary Kasparov traditionally throw down the gauntlet to a potential opponent? What does Gary Kasparov eat during chess matches? He keeps... There's so many jokes like this. Give me the first one again? Wait, the... The first premise with Gary Kastrov?

Or the... Which English chess grandmaster shat himself whilst breaking win during his world championship with Gary Kaspirov? Magnus Fartzelson. okay pretty good this guy this guy gives it three stars and goes decent but too tame for my taste i have a suggestion the one thousand one one liner's book isn't bad especially if you're looking

for light family friendly humor it delivers a ton of quick clean jokes that are easy to share at casual gatherings or with kids i chuckled out a few but personally i prefer something with a more bite i like the rivalry jokes rants and ross college series ohio state georgia and the michigan one is my favorite those pack a punch with sharp targeted humor that hits hard if you're into that scene this book by contrast feels a bit too generic and soft for my taste it's a kill tony fan there baby that guy loves kill tony man if i was doing kill tony i'd be so good at it i'd be so mean to the guys you know oh you you figure you're on panel right away yeah right but you're literally you're you're the open mic are getting roasted at madness and you got to pull the pot you got any of us

going to go to the bucket, man. We're going to pull the bucket from the bucket. We're going to hope along with 16,000 other comedians who have moved to Austin, Texas, and upended their lives. We're going to hope that we get pulled so we can go up for one minute, which, by the way, is not long enough to do stand-up comedy in any good way. And then get roasted by fucking, you know, just some of the absolute worst. Some of the worst comedians you've ever seen.

Tim Dillon's going to suggest. Tim Dillon's going to say something to you that makes people laugh in the way that like in a cartoon when someone has a bad dream and they show up in their underwear and it's like you're going to get that kind of laughter. Yep. Got this one for my dad because well, dad jokes.

Chris likes these a lot too. This is a guy who's doing a funny review. He's like, he's a bit of a writer himself. Oh yeah, yeah. He goes, if your father's sense of humor is a complete train wreck from the circuitous way he tells them to the overall subject matter, this book is for you more than him. So give this to him as a gift, and you will save everyone around him the pain and horror of jokes that could be summarized in just a few sentences.

Perhaps after he understands a properly crafted joke, right down to the timing and cadence, you'll turn him into the life of the party. Now, if your dad, just close your eyes and imagine commanding the love and respect by a roomful of sexy ladies. now imagine a conversation you'll have with your wife after you've made all those ladies think you're more fun to live with than you actually are finally realize that this is less for that sort of thing and more for making your wife smile and roll her eyes at you if that's the most you can hope for at this point in your marriage this is the way to go buy this book before she hands you divorce papers and runs off with the pool boy speaking of which you might want to update your swim trunks at some point so this guy's a very

to be in the book. He's auditioning. Very much. He says, what am I doing outside of the page? Why am I writing outside of the pages of the book? Listen, anybody who has anything to do with this book, you know, the next book or whatever, just look at this. These words should be inside them. I completely agree with you, Luke. This is, we, we encounter people like this, but they're not often, he's directly auditioning for the thing that he is reviewing. It's not that it's like he's expressing himself weirdly through reviews. He's like, no, I can't find their contact. information on their website so this is the way i'm going to send in my packet yes exactly we get people who just do general stuff where they're just like i'm just going to kind of show the world that i'm a really good creative writer and hope that somebody picks up this shit but yeah this is i think the first person who would seem to be doing a direct audition for the product that they're reviewing 17 people found this review helpful and every one of them got a smile out of the guy you know what i mean 17 people read that he went yeah he checked it and he still and i don't know how old it is but i bet he gives He gives it a peek every now and then see if anybody else is doing.

17. It was 14 when I checked last year. Holy fuck, 17. Three people. I mean, we're talking about it. Obviously, yeah,

it's going to slow down. It's not getting in front of as many eyes and everything. So three in this time. They already went viral. So now we're just getting into after blow. I'm going to start a YouTube and train. Finally, I went to R slash dad jokes.

And this post comes up. Everyone, they very much have had this fight a million times. Dad jokes are not pornographic. These are jokes you can tell your kids. Literally, that's what a dad joke is. Stupid puns that elicit a groan. Please stop with the graphic sex jokes or jokes that are clearly adult.

I think that's correct, right? I think dad jokes are the dad jokes are the really like corny kind of jokes that are. That's the understood thing. But I also think dad jokes can be these like old gross sex jokes. But I don't think that's, I think dirty jokes aren't dad jokes. I agree, Chris. When I think of a dad joke, it's like a pun or like a goofy, like, something you roll your eyes at, not like, what happens with two pedophiles walk into a bar at the same time, you know? Yeah, yeah, it's not it's not dirty jokes.

I'm trying to think, I do them. I do them to like Ariel to like, you know, specifically so that she'll be like, oh, come on. You know, like I actually will do that. I'll do. And they're very specific and they're not gross. although I guess they could be like it could be a dumb pun about a gross topic or something like that sure he is the dumb pun that's an innuendo i see but there seems to be a lot of talk of like like yeah it seems like the biggest problem is they're going too far with this crap which to me

it's disgusting i don't know what's been covered but i'm all good with the not safe for work option if those telling the joke are using it i've left groups due to the amount of porn slash porn Porn heads. Porn heads. Porn ads, which I believe says something more about the guy. We keep on all these ads on Facebook for this porno. What the hell? He goes, nothing as horrible as looking through what you think are mostly clean jokes with

your daughter. And here comes a sex scene, which I don't know what he means. I think that he's making like a comparison to like watching a movie, right? The famous thing you're watching a movie with your family or whatever. You don't realize the sex scene is coming up. he's kind of equating it to that, I guess. But I'm sex positive. I wouldn't know.

But going through dirty, I guess, yeah, you don't know, he doesn't know they're dirty jokes and then thinks, hey, let's go laugh at some jokes as a family. And everybody's looking at the book at the same time. They're all gathering around. Yeah, why don't you just not say them? Yeah, that's good point. On Reddit, we're all on Reddit to, I call the family in. I've put my Reddit on the TV screen.

Yeah. We're going to scroll through our slash dad's jokes. Yeah, maybe just get the, maybe do a personal scroll and read. Maybe not, maybe he's not confident in his reading. You know what I'm saying? Like, he doesn't think he can deliver the jokes well enough. So he's like, we got to let the family read them in real time. The much better solution would be for people who do not like not safe for work,

dad jokes to go to R slash clean dad jokes. Instead of trying to police jokes on here and try to make some other new place a thing for something mostly everyone is fine with. Next guy replies and goes, solid point dropping this sub. Thank you. So basically saying, like, dad jokes, you need to make your own clean, safe space for your jokes. This is, yeah, dad jokes, unfortunately are going to get a little randy sometimes. Watch a video of like someone power washing a carpet.

You know what I mean? Like, do, there's so many videos you could be watching instead of arguing with a guy online where you watch dad jokes subreddit you want to be part of. I disagree in the sense that it's good to, I think, communicate with other people and me reaching out and having those connections. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true also. In this case, I don't think so.

I actually think that a lot of people need to be connecting with fewer people. Right. Like fewer connections. You're probably right. I disagree. I disagree. I think in this case, these are really bad connections. I don't think most people on earth were built to know more than five people.

Yes. Certainly not be perceived by more than five people. I don't know. I think, I guess, I think people need to maybe have more. friends or something like that you know i don't think so i don't think that's true i think i think some people they should have four friends and they're good forever well you know what shakespeare said all the world's a stage i think a lot of people don't have four friends is what i'm saying i don't think i'm i don't think we're disagreeing i haven't talked to porno shan like seeing it at a different

like no i just think a lot of people too much and every time he come to my house porno shan it's like every ad would be porno after he left because he wouldn't stop clicking on it yeah i haven't I saw pornoshawn. I saw pornoshaun like four years ago at a Clippers game. I was walking by and I was like, holy shit, Quieber. And I was like, it's Brian. We call me Brian now. I am in my 40s and I have a daughter. So do not call me that. And then we had a conversation for like two seconds. It was really stilted and uncomfortable. Oh, this is a real guy. I thought you were making up a guy called Pornoshaun. Yeah, I was kind of. I grew up with a friend. I grew up with a friend. Growing up was Pornoshaun. He's, you don't know about Pornoshaun. Yeah, he's pretty. I don't know. I don't know. much he's the most famous he's i some people say he's actually like a more well-known member of the podcast than me even like he's a very very famous member of the park i've heard a lot of people say have you heard guys with with brian and porno shan a lot of people do think it's him because my name's not on it so they do think sometimes like what's the other host's name it's or porno shan and they just reached out for the name they hear the most often it was a clippers game so this was in los angeles

oh we have a baseball team here so anyway like i'm sorry like i'm I'm really. I got to keep up a war. Chris, I got to tell you, I think you've undersold who the new famous guy is other than porn, O'Shawn, because I don't go a day without getting a post from somebody talking about Aaron. Aaron's the guy now. He's not the guy.

Aaron is the guy. It's so funny that Aaron is still sort of like dictating your life in a way. And Aaron is a leader of his violent. No, he was. Here's a part where he says that they were jockeying for position and that they were both the leader. But that ship has long sailed that whole conversation because it's been become very clear that Aaron was the leader. He's the coolest fucking guy in the world. He went to race car school.

He drove a hot rod. Going to race car school is not cool at all, dude. I think he. It's cooler than not. I mean, I guess learning on the streets is the cooler version. But I would say knowing about race cars and driving them at all is cooler. than not knowing about race cars and driving. Everybody, listen, Aaron

is a rest in peace to Aaron, by the way. RIP Aaron. RIP to Aaron. Aaron did pass away. But yeah, he's, he was, he's, I love that. Thank you everybody for keeping his spirit alive and reminding Cleaver over here who the leader of his violence gang was.

Jesse, do you know what the fuck they're talking about? Because I have no fucking idea who the fuck Aaron is. Or, I mean, the reveal he's dead is crazy the way you were talking about him too. He's a rest of peace. People die, Luke. That's the way life works. He may be dead, but he is alive in a greater sense.

Yep, the last time. Almost more alive than he was when he was alive. The two deaths, yeah. And let me tell you, as long as we're doing guys, he ain't ever going to die his second death because we'll be talking about him forever and ever. And he literally never will because we, there's this one guy on the podcast who just will never let stuff go. And so he really will never die.

this guy goes but the guy goes solid point dropping this sub thank you and then he gets a reply and says good make like Michael Jackson and beat it

oh that's clean that's a clean hit yeah that's a body blow yeah if I'm the judge I'm scoring that that's a hit strike three you're out

that's a good dad it's cool to respond with a dad joke like I do feel like we're really doing we're really doing the damn thing but that's of course

that's the way that you know what I mean it's like that's respectful you're in the space and like even if maybe you're not a you're not normally doing that kind of joke that you're in that space right there even if you just normally like to listen to the jokes it's nice to yeah just that's how i'm going to communicate this is our this is our language yeah well here comes a good one this is this guy he goes good on you always a good thing when people who are easily offended

for no reason remove themselves from the situation instead of trying to have others bend to their emotions. Hmm. Huh. Yeah. Well, then he replies to well, I can appreciate why you might jump to that conclusion. I'm not sure

if I'm easily offended or not. I don't think so. I deal with ignorant people that have their head up so far up their asses on a regular basis that you don't bother me at all. I think it's more of a line that I draw as to what dad joke should be and what might be silly

but I can get crude jokes anywhere. I'm not the reason we can't have nice things it's the people who come in and think it's okay to shit on everything then make it so we all have to live in their shit but he didn't write shit he wrote s star star star yeah uh respectful can i can i ask in in your research did you find one person um did you find any example of somebody saying the only joke on this subreddit is you uh probably this is the only argument i can find generally they're pretty good-natured people and they're there for the riff yeah these are all the most good nature jokesters.

These are people who are like, they're generally going to be really laid back. Is that so wrong with everything going on? I know they're wrong with that. And they're just being stupid. They're just being intentionally stupid. There's a bunch of old guys being intentionally stupid and silly. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it would be a place for a lot of debate. This guy goes, nah, O.P's right.

Dad jokes are intentionally and definitionally, not sexual or adult theme. Thank you. Otherwise, they'd just be called jokes. Yeah. If people want dirty dad jokes, then they should create a new sub called R-slash perverted uncle jokes. I like that. I actually think that's good.

Shit, that's the best idea I've heard all day. That's a funny idea. Perverted uncle jokes. Perverting uncle jokes. That's not a subreddit I'd be visiting. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think it wouldn't do that well if you did perverted uncle.

Well, who knows? I don't know. It's already removed. You already go to it. It says this subredd has been removed for inappropriate content. I mean, the basic argument seems to be here is like both of them are, there's sort of this push and pull where they're saying, hey, dad jokes should not be dirty. And it's like, okay, fine, then create your own dirty dad jokes.

It's like, no, we're in the right place already. You create the clean dad jokes one because this is the one that they're saying, no, dad jokes are meant to be this. You create the dirty one. And this is sort of like a struggle for power. A struggle for power. I was going to say similar to Brian and Aaron, but no, it's not the same. Same as that, because there's not, in this, in this case, there's not a clear dad jokes, or is Brian dirty dad jokes in his rivalry with air?

Oh, I'm dirty. Dirty. You're dirty. I'm dirty. He was, uh, he was, uh, Ryan's kind of fucking. No, no, no, but, but Brian was, uh, Ryan was a real, you know, real nasty, nasty guy, you know? I mean, was, like, what was Aaron, was Aaron, like? Yes, he was nasty?

No, but was he like, so, for example, let's see, was he huffing gas with you? Yes. Okay. Was he involved at the Orgy's parties? First of all. No, don't have to say it again. I know you left before you. I know you left before they became orgies.

But like the parties that became orgies. He was there. Yeah, he, uh, he was involved in. So it seems like they were, they were equal level nasty. So he was cooler than you, man. I don't, okay. And listen, I don't want, I'm just going off of what. Here's what I know about Aaron.

He was having gas with you. He knows how to race race cars. And he actually was brave enough to stay at the. orgy party. So based on those three things, I'm coming to the conclusion Aaron fucking rocks. That's all I have to say. If you heard the whole story, it would be like, it's

just so irrefutable. It's not even funny. This guy goes, I get it, but why call the sub-dad jokes thing? Can a sub be renamed? And finally, he gets a reply and he goes, because people don't understand decorum or the difference between a dad joke and an uncle joke. So if you lack

understanding, I don't understand Uncle Joe. I've never heard Uncle Joe. I've never heard that in my life. I've been heard it as a phrase. Putting a joke category, this is a mother joke and this is son and daughter joke. I like that. I can understand. It's like there's like the old like thing from old comedy, like the creepy uncle or whatever.

Right. So I think they're just saying like it's a kind of joke that a creepy uncle would say. Sure. Those are like dirty jokes, you know, but I've never heard it. Yeah. And you're sort of identifying as a creepy uncle if you're into it. You know what I mean? Like yeah.

If you're saying, oh, I really like perverted uncle jokes. Don't cut that out. But if I really, if you're saying that, that makes you look. Terriblely bad. Yeah, you say, oh, I like dirty jokes, not I like perverted uncle jokes. You know, perverted uncle is what they're known for. That's the kind of people I in. I wish my friend.

I really like the idea of cousin jokes. And my pitch for what a cousin joke is is when your cousin shows you a YouTube video that's like has no views or or rather has so many views but you have no idea what it is and they say multiple racial slurs in it that's a cousin joke to me right and you're not laughing but they are they're going crazy they're laughing like so hard it you think that there's like something wrong maybe with you like maybe they understand there's some context that you're not getting and you ask them so like what was that afterwards and they were like it's just some crazy thing i found you know when you're at thanksgiving and your cousin shows you dain cook clip

from vicious circle and you're like holy shit this guy's blowing up the square guys i did find i went to r slash uncle jokes here's the first one a vagina can have a pH acidic enough to dissolve an entire men's friend group shit say less ma say less say less and my wife uh here my wife came into the room wearing crotchless panties and said would you like some of this and i said hell no look what it did to your panties that's a good one Acid stuff going on. I hate with the pussy drip acid, bro. This is classic perverted uncle stuff.

With the pussy drop acid, dude. Come on. Don't you hate it when you're having sex with a lady and you pull your thing out and it's a turkey bone instead? It all got eaten away by the acid. The acid. And finally, what's the cure for sex edition? I've tried fucking everything. Okay.

All right. That is joke, guys. We got on Luke at DBJ because they have a great show called Stores. Tell people where to find it. You can find it at, you know, wherever podcasts are found. I can hear the Zinn in your mouth, by the way. What? You can't, really?

I think I'm usually. I can hear it too. I can tell when you have. Jesse, take it away. You can find us on almost any podcast distributor stores, the podcast stores with Luke and DBJ or you can go to patreon.com forward slash stores the podcast and join and you can join for free or you can pay to get our bonus episodes uh but just check us out we've got an episode do you put up your um sorry to you have an episode with brian i don't want to cut that off

because that's a good thing to say to the you know people who are listening but do you have you have all of your regular episodes on patreon they're all on that's a good question that's a good that is a thought about doing that brian you know people can just have one feed you Oh, and then they're uncensored, too. Or they don't get ads, right? I mean, would be the thing. We don't have ads. We don't do ads.

Oh, got you. We're doing so many. I mean, we're basically mostly ads at this point. You're really, you're putting most of the time. That's not true. 15 seconds, 15 seconds, 15 seconds. And they're for nasty things, too. Yeah, don't say that.

All our video episodes aren't available on YouTube. You told me before you don't believe in any of the stuff you're advertising that it's actually like products that you guys are actually like very much against. I think if somebody used any of the products I've advertised, they're basically showing their hand of what a stupid dumbass they are and they deserve to get sick from whatever's in a Hens body spray. Wait, wait, do you really have ads? Do you really have ads? Yeah, they have ads. But they're programmatic.

We don't do. It's like they do it right on. Should we cut this out though? Will you get? No, a computer decides the ads. There's no way. It's fine. And also, I love the complaints that we've been getting about.

Oh, can you know I hear me? Oh, no, I can't hear you. God, my computer is being. So weird, sorry. Luke's silent. What I love about our ads is being auto generated and Spotify just chooses them for us or ACAS does, is we get complaints about what the ads are. Yeah. And I'm like, it's based on who you are.

So the person's saying like, I keep getting these gross ads for erectile dysfunction like my penis doesn't work. And it's like I didn't, I didn't take that. Yeah. Sorry to say. I'm back. It's based on other stuff. Right. Sorry.

I'm back. You're right Because I'm getting reviews for car dealerships In Asheville, North Carolina Because I was just there Well, how does that work? It's all based on location I've somebody missed up saying

On Discord like, oh yeah All my ads are in Spanish And he's like, I don't know why And it's like probably just because you live near a big Spanish speaking population It's all like Is that on iTunes or only on spot? It's like

It's our distributor Yeah, it's our distributor The distributor Is a distributor? What the heck is a distributor? We could say it's ACAST It's just like a thing you use and it just automatically pushes it out to all platforms.

But what's nice is you can mark like a midway point and they'll just put ads in and you just get paid passively from it. Lipson is what we use. This is what everyone wants to hear about. Just everyone is to do ads on the show. Brian and I won't do them. We just refuse.

We love ads. So if you like ads too, you should check us out. It Stores the podcast. We've got a great episode. You probably already said this because my computer fucked up for a second, but I'm still going to say it again. We got a great episode with Brian.

We went to Coles. She went to, remember she went to Jared's. He went to Coles stores. That's right, baby. We looked at a lot of teachers. But anyway, I want to say about stores,

it's a great podcast. I've listened to all of them. And I will also say, I will also say, hey, comrades in picking a bad name that's hard to search. Oh, yeah.

The SEO of stores pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically impossible. Chris had the name. Chris had the name. to name our YouTube guys with Brian Quimby because it's impossible to write. You have to tell people search for guys with Brian with a Y. You have to say that. We do the same thing with Jesse because Dead Blossom Jesse is only showing up on our thing. Even stores with Luke isn't great.

You know, normal white guy name. If you search stores podcast, you get about a hundred things that are just like one episode podcast that like a marketing guru did that didn't do any traction about like how to increase your brand or things that are called stories yes which was not something correct stories yeah which is not what i expected but yeah dead blossom jessie or dbj pulls it up but so does stores with luke and dbj you'll be able to find it all right yeah yeah find it listen to it goodbye bye bye everyone