Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 139 - Penis Guys with Mike Hale

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

We had Mike Hale from Your Kickstarter Sucks on to talk about Penis Guys! Is it OK to show off your penis at the gym? How big is Paul Newman's dick flaccid? We read a lot reviews that I am not gonna name in the description There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201  

Genuinely, so annoying when the music doesn't start, and it's just someone doing some fucking ad before the show. But I did want to let you guys know that the geysery is open again, October 3rd for patrons, October 4th, for the general public. We have the Violence Gang, Longsleeve, heavyweight T-shirts in white and black. We have a camo and gray guardian logo guys baseball caps. and we have the piece de resistance, the Queber-Quinby duality of man challenge flip coin. That's right. This is a challenge coin, but it's also a flip coin for all your coin flipping needs if you just can't make your mind up. So head over to the geysery.com.

The prices are reasonable. The quantities are limited, so don't sleep on it. Now enjoy penis guys. Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian and Mr. All Balls, Chris James is with us. I think you have huge balls, Chris. But like... 90% sure you have the most balls of the three people on this call.

Well, listen, I don't want to get into that, but are you saying that it, if you're saying, if you're saying Mr. All balls, are you saying that like I have large balls, but it's like, no penis. Yeah, the smallest penis you've ever seen in your life. Micropenus, but the world's biggest balls. So you picture me just having a couple of damn watermelons down there. And then, and then, and then just the tiniest little nub of a penis. This is so small. Such a small penis. But you. balls you'd be a great candidate for the baldo yeah we know all about the ball though of course we I think we do we learn about it from our friends of Y KS yes that's where I learned about it from that's where I learned about it yeah that goes a good Y K Escapade you got to test these products man you can't just

go on and talk out of your that's what I appreciate about you guys you know is that you do you're like yeah you make sure to inform yourself and of course we're doing penis guys so i brought on one of our favorite guests db mike hale hi mike hello first guest ever our our our first guest ever and beloved and i think have you ever been on an episode that wasn't explicitly like disgusting like yes he has he did long care guys with j f that's right that's right But that was Y K.S. Right? That's different.

I feel like he's my favorite guy to do this stuff with. You know, Mike is? Because I do. He sends me pictures of funny penises sometimes too. And oh my God, that guy's penis is small. But he's got a holding a small lady in his hands. John found today that I've been cracking up about all day long. He goes to like women on blue sky.

And, like, he will Photoshop them inside of his pee hole. It's so funny. One of the funniest picks I've ever seen. So, yeah, we're going to talk about penis guys. And a lot of this, non-sex. These guys, I don't think you even need to give a crap about sex to be a penis guy. What is, yeah, I think I'm trying to really, is these people who are just, they just like penises, their own penis? this guy out of it. Okay. Listen to this guy. This is from R slash penis size, which we'll get a lot of

stuff from. Uh, this is from happy dad of four Jesus. And it says compression shorts only at the gym. 48 male new to gym life. In the beginning of my membership, I wore briefs and basketball shorts, then eventually moved to compression shorts only because I don't like the double layers of the briefs and the shorts combo and I don't like my parts flopping around. Fortunately, I'm small. enough to tuck it if I were the fuck or if I were the tucking type but even though women wear the form fitting sports bras and yoga pants and shorts I'm picking up vibes that my compression shorts might make them uncomfortable am I the only one here who's comfortable enough to wear only compression shorts so you are so he's getting like it there's like a palatable feeling of he's getting

hard looks yeah like there it is like he's walking in a room and the vibe is changing in the right stop stalking so i'm thinking they're yeah so they're like really tight obviously they're showing off a lot and his point is like hey you know women are doing this as well but i think women it's different right i mean it is different right it's like there's less like because the penis has all the balls and all that stuff yeah you gotta really look for it yeah yeah and i guess i would say i would say if you do walk in a room and the discomfort is palatable you'll probably change it up change it as a sign of

yeah yeah maybe right you can feel it you can feel it like as everybody's staring at my penis what's going on it's like you might need to do something about about your penis skirt on yeah well so you're saying because he doesn't like the double

layer or whatever or you tell a kilt that's a good point Mike you tell a kilt yeah I think you just might have to in that situation it's like yeah there's there's some you can go to a nude beach and everyone's going to say yeah like you chris you like you go to the dude beach but i think there are places where it's like acceptable to be sort of showcasing your private parts but in a lot of places they have gyms at the nude resorts

what's the protocol there that's a good question i do i think they do at just town is a towel down yeah it's towel down everything with these nudists yeah with like these nudists they have to carry a towel around dry towel you think it's just a dry towel it's got to be more than just a dry towel It's one towel. They can sit down on it. We've heard them talk about it. Scratchy towel. Well, they have good towels.

Nudest guys are like top-low-eyed towels. Yeah, like any hobby or something, they're like, and this is the best, most comfortable softest towel to put on your ass when you're sitting down. Yeah, totally. Searching it on wire cutter. Best towel for ass. For nudism. Yeah.

But I mean, towels are always most, just to, hey, I don't want to play devil's advocate, but we're all mostly nude when you use a towel, even normal people, right? I think so. So it's no different for a nudist. You are? Yeah, when you get out of the shower or the bath or whatever, right? Did you use a cow? That's an interesting shower technique. That's an interesting corking.

That I put, that I use a towel. No, but I actually, I need bather. Okay. This guy goes, I personally wear shorts over compression shorts whenever I wear them. I don't generally care about bulging, but compression shorts seem a little too on the obscene side for my taste to wear on their own. If you're not being approached by Jim Steph asking you to change it, it likely doesn't matter. Wear what makes you comfortable.

I don't know about that. I don't know if you need to wait for the state to officially designate your package inappropriate. I think, you know, again, if you walk into it. room and everyone seems to stop talking to each other and there's a music stops or whatever like like a record scratch then i would think just yeah just wear different can i see brian can you show me a pair of compression shorts you've ever seen compression shorts are just really tight compressed they don't have a picture i do know i do know the concept of them i wear compression shorts every day with shorts over them or pants over them yeah i wear uh armichillos i don't

know if you guys have ever heard of those deluxe trading company armichillos oh they're just they're their underwear yeah they have jade in them to keep your balls cool that's cool that's nice you need that you got hot balls i do get very hot balls and penis it does happen so i i mean i i i had to google it i had to what best underwear for hot balls and penis but i mean they're making them they're making them specifically so it means you're not the only one dealing with it right Yeah This next question Sorry,

DB, what were you saying? I was just going to inquire About the underwear style So are we doing Underware And then compression short And then a short Or a hand?

No, just underwear And then short So they're basically an underwear. They are, I just looked at a photo of them They are Underware They're boxer briefs

That are long. They're just long They just go down to like Above your knee But they look exactly Like boxer briefs They're so you don't chafe Okay

Yeah These are just underwear Yeah, these are underwear, so this guy's going to the gym in his underwear, basically. Hey, man, if you can't do that, here's another guy who gives them some advice. Hey, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. You'll probably embarrass a lot of guys and turn on the women in there if you're hung. Yeah. But he said he's not.

He already said he's not. I understand. This guy was just like, hey, if you got a bulge, women will be fucking so horny for you. Maybe some time, maybe some women would, like, depending on how they're feeling or whatever they might see them like whoa it's a big penis you know maybe if they're a size queen or whatever that's like yeah you know but but yeah i feel like maybe they're mostly there to work out here's a thread that happens here's a thread that happens every few days on penis size when did you realize you had a big dick

happened so much there's so many this is from two days ago so he goes, growing up, all I did was play with my Transformers and G.I. Joe. I had zero sexual interest in girls. I realized how big I was my freshman school year in the locker room. I remember guys looking at my so-called best friend, L.O. Nicknamed me mutant dick. To this day, he still calls me that. When did you realize you were big? And were you given a nickname? Not looking for measurements or comparisons. So please don't post. Looking for some good stories. There was a friend Now that I think of it

There was a guy that I knew It wasn't like a close friend or whatever But there was a dude named Luke Who was like known to be I never seen I never seen his penis But he was known to be hung

He was known to have like a big one or whatever And he did have like a full His nickname was Moose And it was like That was in reference to his moose cock And it was like That was all anybody called him So I think that is a thing

That definitely happens for sure We didn't have to take our pants off For Jim yeah neither did we we never we did underwear we could do underwear we never we didn't change in that way we didn't have like a change room like that i don't know yeah i forget how it worked i guess we kind of did but yeah it was never a naked we didn't do showers and stuff like i fail no no not i failed jim like twice because i wouldn't change in the locker room yeah because you're you're afraid of embarrassing all the other kids with my huge pants yes yes well what i did was i would go in the locker

room and smoke cigarettes while everybody was getting changed and then I'd come walking out in the same clothes and you know the guy's like you're in there fucking smoking like the gym teacher used to call me a piss aunt and chase me out of the uh Jesus locker room smoking cigarettes in there this person goes a pediatrician told me straight to my face when I was under 12 that I was already larger than most adult men why would and that it was like Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That doesn't seem like a, like a scientific or like, you know, like that doesn't seem like an official way to say it.

Brother, I've seen a lot of penises. You're bigger than most, you're bigger than my husband's. That's crazy talk. Kid, I got to tell you. Like, why would you say that? Yeah. Yeah, what, why does a kid need to know that anyways? I'm not sure.

that it's like beneficial uh yeah i i'm trying to think of it it doesn't seem to really matter he goes and then it would likely grow to be very large so he was not done i think that's what he was saying like you're not done growing and you already have a huge man-sized penis but again what is that like he is going to realize that himself it's when it's important why do you need to tell a child that it's weird uh this guy goes sex egg class taught me to measure so that's what i could put a number next to what I was already thinking now I did this I didn't learn at school yeah no they never taught us to measure our penises in sex ed no there wasn't a lot of talk about penis size and sex ed when I was in school yeah they talked about I'm trying to think back there wasn't a lot

of talk about penises but it was yeah it was did not focus on the size of it like yeah yeah yeah well yeah they were going to talk about what you do with the penis but they weren't like oh six to eight inches that's above average of a peat like they didn't tell you anything about showing you a picture of showing you a picture of long dong silver being like so this is going to be at the top end of this guy's got a big one i don't understand the measuring thing like they tell you to push the ruler into the fat pad of your fucking yeah that's bone pressed to get like another inch yeah you got that shit bone press no i mean i mean i think it's i think i think i think you're all right right to go with you i always started sort of bottom of the asshole you know i i've never measured

i'm not lying i've never measured and i uh don't care yeah when i was yeah i mean i don't care now when i was younger i measured it was like a thing definitely with our friends right where like for whatever reason we decided that we were going to do that not together but like that we like a one straight i was measuring it like every day try and i was panicking because it was nothing was happening it wasn't it wasn't getting any bigger at all ours was about hair more than size like if you didn't like you had to prove you had pubic hair all the time with me and my friends i remember yeah brian would yeah he was always embarrassed it's because aaron didn't believe me it's because aaron didn't have any pubic hair the first time he had sex and the girl told us all

wow so that it became a big deal around us to be like oh well guess what the big dog has me Wow, having sex, getting laid before you can even grow people. Wow, leadership. Aaron was truly, he was truly the man. He turned him into the man. This guy goes, recently, I'm 41 years old and joined Reddit a few months ago. I was introduced to Calc S.D. I think that's how to do it.

And found out my girth was relatively impressive, even if my length wasn't massively above average. being a grower six to six foot two inches tall relatively bulky i always thought it was small and also suffered put downs from mates so oh i see so he's that's nice honestly he can feel positive but his friends like oh you got a small dick and then he somehow went and took some scientific measurements to figure out that he didn't have that small of one this is a crazy website calc sd dot info oh yes yes it is the penis percent So what does that do?

It tells you where, like what percentile you're in if you, uh, I just did mine and it's enormous. Um, this is based off of some data sets, right? You said you've never measured it before, right? I'm in the enormous. I just finished. Hey, just for shit. Can't see me. You can't see me.

Just for shits and giggles, you want to put, uh, you want to put 4.2 inches length. just as a joke do you want to do like two inches erect volume they give you the erect girth the erect loop and the erect volume what percentile you're at I'm not giving that info out dude somebody will steal

my identity somebody else you print my shit if you're lucky DB they'll steal your identity that's all they take this guy goes uh this here's a question asked too uh facial features and correlation has anyone found that men with large noses or ears have bigger penises i think that's like an old class you know that's like one of those old stupid things that people said or whatever the arm thing yeah like what's one of those ones it's not i i doubt is real but isn't it they from here to here

is how how like your forearm is how long your penis is so long when it's hard That's so long, dude. It's like a foot and a half. It's like a problem. Brian, what are you working with? Oh, a hammer. This is something, though. This, I don't remember.

Maybe it's something else. Somebody will be like, oh, yeah. It's your foot. It's your foot size. Not your middle finger to the bottom of your palm. That's right. That sounds more realistic than your entire forearm deep. Yeah, yeah.

I think the forearm is foot size. but my penis is the same size as my feet so doesn't matter a size six dude it's not foot size i'm looking at it right now it's not foot size either it is foot size it's like three times the size of your foot that's it's how big your foot is no man it's not it's not it's not i just put it up against it it's not brian's doing it it's not is it brian it is it is so uh has anyone run into a guy with a large nose or that skinny and has a small penis personal experiences or observations are the chances high that any random man that has these features is more likely to have a large penis this first guy replies like us my friend has quite a large nose is and is on the smaller

side yikes poor guy i'm fine yeah he's like he's like just he's got nothing he's not even dealing with this conversation at all and he's getting fucking owned you know he's just like doing his own thing. This guy goes, science has already looked into this. There's no correlation between. I love the idea. These guys are the most scientific guys.

They're plugged into all the studies. They are. Yes, yes. They're more, the only people more plugged into studies are morning radio DJs. It's morning radio DJs and penis guys. Mm-hmm.

Know all the studies. A recent study says, This guy goes, I'm skinny and have a large nose. I'm six by six inches. So that's average, right? That would be the average size. That's pretty thick, I think. Oh, pretty thick.

Yeah, but lengthwise, it's average, right? I don't know. Oh, mine's a lot bigger than that. So, it's huge. This guy goes, this guy ass and penis size, how do I make my balls hang? Kind of weird question.

I know L.O.L. But is there actually any way to make the testicle sag lower? I mean, I think like, turn 41. yeah yeah why why why why why would you want that but i guess like because there's the things i don't know what it is physiologically but you know when your balls like uh like put pull up kind of and it becomes really you know like yeah when it's cold i guess it's just it's just cold right probably yeah yeah so i guess just go and go maybe a sauna would help them hang perhaps or something weights off

of them yeah well there's some suggestions to that this guy goes there are such thing as ball stretchers Okay. But I would. Because no, every, like, it is so funny how much these guys, like, they're just, all day with their penis and their balls, it feels like, just all day fucking thinking about it, trying to figure things out, trying to calculate, you know? Uh, it goes, there was such thing as ball stretchers, but I wouldn't use them unless you want to be kicking your nuts every step when you're 80. temporarily warmth triggers a reflexive loosening of the cremister muscle so we so we had it we I nailed it I nailed the science on that cremister muscle creak is C rd yeah I didn't I didn't know the cremister muscle part of it I'm not sort of at the level of these guys uh it's a thin striated muscle

located in the male reproduction the repugate I give up for that word I'm I'm done with that I'm giving up on that word. Oh, no. Audio cut out. Oh, no, no. That's what happened. Take a look at some rock and roll guys' penises. I think we can actually see them?

No, I wish. I mean, I could show you my guy from typo negative's penis because he showed it off massive. So let's see here. We got, I'm trying to find a good one that you guys would know because John Bon Jovi. Oh, I love Bon Jovi. Back in the day, John was a huge slut, but he's chilled out a little. John has an average-sized cock and, like, a lot of guys prefers to receive oral than give it. He has good rhythm, though, and he'll even wear two condoms if you asked him to.

Wait, wait, wait. This is like a groupie confession board or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's what it is. It's like people who, okay. That's awesome. It's a metal sludge. So, and it's just a list. So John Bon Jovi.

what was it about the condoms sorry i became he'll wear two for you at the same time that's what they're saying bon jillian on metal sludge i mean i could get out of that oh sorry you don't think bon jovie is pretty hard music for me it's like pretty hardcore shit it's crazy stuff i'm looking for lars olrick and i'm not quite seeing oh zach delaroca i'm pretty sure that lars has not been laid every opportunity he had with like somebody who's like loved metallica so much he messed it up somehow you know uh this guy goes fred durst we got a fred durst here fred is an i've seen fred's penis by you have yeah he's in a sex tape oh yeah of course

so small yeah it's not that big i remember i've seen that i've seen that sex tape too now that i think of it fred is an average joe or should i say an average fred nothing too big but nothing too small. He loves to eat pussy and loves to get oral in return. He's a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker. Okay. Now, so he likes to give oral and receive it. Maybe somebody wants to tell him about a little something called the 69 position. Oh, that's the best. Not a single person here has said they're great at 69. I think that Fred Durs does seem like the kind of guy who's really into eating pussy, though.

I don't really know why, but he does seem that way. Dexter Holland from the offspring. Okay. Dexter is hung like a horse and is kind of kinky in bed. Loves to eat pussy and can fuck like a madman. Missionary position bores him and he will have you flipping like a pancake. Somebody you'll have fun with. Dexter.

Dexter. Dexter. And Dexter got a big one, eh? That's okay. Nah, nah, nah, do you get a job? Yeah, yeah. I know. I know some of them too.

This guy goes, there's people that spend years wearing weights on their balls to make them get lower. I don't know if it works or not. But that is very different than when people talk about warmer cold balls. I imagine you ask how to get them to hang when cold. And the O.P. comes back and goes, yeah, I was thinking of something permanent. But weight on my balls, that sounds painful. gets a reply and goes yeah well the idea is to do it slow so it doesn't hurt but the results are

questionable i'd say and then he gets one last reply to that he goes it's permanent and it feels good just starts slow we have a ball weight guy in there and this guy goes i think Botox can relax the muscles that contract the sack you can get Botox you can get so uh yeah finding out that like you're you someone you know is getting Botox and and then finding out that it's to make their balls get a lower. Oh, you're doing Botox? I don't really see it in your,

you know, oh no, it's for my balls. Yeah, it's not, it's, it's, it's,

I know you think that it's like getting, but my balls are so long. Would you like to see them? Remember when you were growing up and a guy who put his balls through his, uh, short, put his balls through as like a zipper and then you turn around and look and be like, yeah.

Yeah. You know, he used to flick them sometimes. Put his balls out. Dang. Yeah. Take that bitch. This guy goes, nothing worse than sitting on one or rolling on one getting in a truck seat. Now that.

Damn. Because that's one of those big trucks. He's driving one of those lifted trucks. Yeah. But I used to do that on my bike all the time. I think everybody sat on their balls on their bike. Yeah, Mr. Belvedere did. Yeah, Belvedere famously Belvedere.

sat on his balls so bad that they had to fucking cancel the fucking episode one night what one night i went to do stand up yeah at an open mic night and it was the table at the surly girl saloon i wasn't there those people never talked to me but they were at the table and all they were talking about was mr belvedere sitting on his balls i was like this is the least funny group of people So you were just hanging with the comics, like at the sort of like, no, no, no, no, I wasn't hanging with the comics. I was waiting to go on stage. So I was sitting in one place and they were at a table, like the, you know, the guy, the cool ones like the sort of like the cellar, like the cellar, like the cellar, like the table at the cellar kind of. You've got your sort

of Norton like figure. You got your Nick DePaulo. Hey, shut the fuck up. What the fuck you? you know that but you're telling me that they were they weren't cracking you up no were they were they cracking each other oh dude they were dying laughing about it seems like maybe seems like someone didn't get it someone didn't get it maybe they're going no seriously he sat on his balls and brings it up on his phone and stuff and I was like oh my god but that's funny like that's what it's like in the mothership green room if you can get into the mother's ship green room good luck it's uh maybe seals out there you you got to be you got to be ron white you know you got to be geriatric ron white he looks really weird now ron white you look at i know i know

long hair yeah yeah have you seen him recently yeah oh yeah i've seen him on kill tony yeah is he the one in the elephant graveyard video that's like what you got in there special man yeah oh yeah oh yeah i felt like i was in the oh yeah he's in the elephant grave everything i told you that he william montgomery was like oh you said the n word in the green room and and million montgomery says crazy stuff always but then ron white i was like assumed it was a joke and ron white said what the context of what he like not he actually explained why he said it that's cool yeah so uh yeah yeah the seeing those guys riffing on that was So telling. I think I quit trying after like that day was just like, it's not going to happen

here. The top guys in town, this is what they're doing at the table. And you know, I knew about the table from Opie and Anthony. You know what I mean? So I had already known about the table and I knew I wasn't welcome at the table. So just to be clear, what was the place? What was the venue called? The surly girl saloon. The surly girl saloon. It wasn't a full-time. comedy club? No, no, no, no. There was an open mic night going on one night of the week, and you somehow in your mind felt like there was still somehow some sort of table and not traveling table, yeah. But it was just, it seems like it was just like, those were the top guys in town? Or were they just other open mic comedians? Well, yeah, but top, they would do

shows. You know what I mean? Like, they would do non-open mics. Yeah, yeah, but really bad. Oh, I know, no it makes sense but really bad comedians do non-open mics as well i know i just mean like were these like were these the dudes were they like the ones who were like playing like the funny like the comedy club and stuff yeah some of them were the guys that did the funny bone and some of them like yeah yeah i mean relatively successful like they probably drew like 25 people to their shows or whatever you know what i mean which is a high number in columbus so so you feel like 30 and It seems to me, like, listen, I would have loved you to try to get it. What about at the live show?

You think about doing five minutes? I'm writing my act right now for the live show. I was going to maybe see if I could do five minutes of Chuck Norris jokes. Buddy, you do whatever you want. That's the thing about stand-up comedy, man. It's a last place where you can say what you want, you know, where you're not going to be censored. And so you can literally say whatever you want. You say some of the gnarliest Chuck Norris jokes we have heard.

I'm Googling Chuck Norris penis. I forgot to do that. So it would, I think that would be fun at the live show if you did a stand up. How about we just have a table at the live show and charge people like 30 bucks to sit at it? That's actually kind of cool. We could have a green room that's like a huge entry and like people can kind of come in and see what it's like, like us getting ready and stuff. Oh, here we go. Chuck Norris once won a world's largest penis contest with a length of 19 and three quarters inches.

In a news interview following the event, he modestly admitted that he only pulled out enough to barely win oh he had more no and there was a guy with a 20 inch there was a guy with a 19 and a quarter inch penis and he's just and wait I feel like yeah I feel like I don't want to get in the weeds on the joke but I feel like the like the committee that would be measuring it or whatever they would you wouldn't be able to fool them like yeah you would have to pull it all the way Yeah. So let's take a look at a question that was asked on Quora. Have you ever seen a famous guy's penis? Now, there's only one answer. It's so weird. Architect Bob says, yeah, in the mid-70s, I was at Road America, Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin racing sports cars. I was in the locker room taking a shower and in walks Paul Newman, who was racing. well. The showers were old communal showers, so no privacy. Paul just casually undressed and didn't bother to cover his penis. He was a surprisingly small man in stature, maybe 5'8. He had a very

attractive, rather thick, flaccid, rather thick four-inch flaccid penis with balls that hung well below his penis. We chatted a bit as we were tallying off and wished each other good luck and we're racing. Oh, that's nice. What a story. What a I wonder how many people he tells that story to Paul oh you guys is that Newman's dressing let me tell you about the time let me tell you about his fucking four inch flaccid penis with balls that are longer than that

and also disrespectful and like you know it's like this guy's a beloved actor give him six well he's flaccid fours flaccid's probably good you're right it probably is now that you think about it's hard even good too sometimes i think it depends on even what sort of metrics you're using but if i feel like it just sounds small because you're saying his nobody talks in flaccid penis sizes right yeah like nobody you don't you don't hear it referred to so when you hear a four inch penis it makes it seem like it's a small penis i would think the issue you is that first of all he wouldn't have been hard and you're not going to see of celebrities

hard penis well unless you're having sex with them that's a good point so like a lot of these like those you know those rocks the ones that were reading of the rock star penis they would have seen they would have seen them hard probably right right so they would know uh so maynard from tools on here has a nice average size cock about six to six and a half inches loves oral sex but only with favorites loves anal sex we'll take you to an adult toy store and buy you whatever sex toy you want we'll make you use them from you'll buy you whatever toy la la stocking up what a date anything in this whole store that I would yeah like like a freaking pretty woman shopping freestyle inside the sex store lady trying to buy the most expensive thing in the store like

you did when you were a kid your parents are like take you to the toy store they'd be like get whatever and you're like okay well i gotta get the biggest most expensive i guess i'll have that um the big giant silicon slab penis and asshole and sell it on the secondary market you know uh he goes he loves orgies and group sex hosts adult sex parties and hotel room wait who Maynard from tool wow Maynard is a fucking sex guy, a swinger, like a pineapple lifestyle kind of dude? Seems like the description I'm reading feels like a pineapple lifestyle kind of guy. You know?

He could be a bowl? You're telling me Maynard from Tool might be a bull. Could be a cuntled, too. It goes, he's affectionate, but at times conservative. He has a sarcastic, dry sense of humor, which can rub people the wrong way. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is, let's stick. This is a penis website, right? talking about you're nuts i don't care about his personality which can rub people he's clean and shaven

everywhere may not be the best looking wait wait whoa whoa so he's got no pubic hair at all wow okay that's interesting that is you know how many people how many guys i saw that shave everything and i was like oh where the balls and stuff like no no where did you see them on reddit when i was prepping the show oh i thought you meant like added it somewhere um you yeah yeah yeah that is that is odd to me i would i would think that that wouldn't like i guess maybe if you're like in porno or like a or like a swimmer or like you know i don't even think swimmers do it there was a re if there's a reason for it but yeah i would think to me at least because i think i did do it when i was younger you know teenager or whatever i like did it yeah i got an afro down there okay

And, uh, and I would, I would just feel like it looks like a, a big baby penis, you know, like, when you take off the pubic hair, like it just looks weird. Like it like has a weird. You need the pubic hair on there on. So I don't know. I could never, I could never rock that myself. Well, guys, I searched for the most expensive penis pump on love, honey. These are these, these are to get your penis bigger or to make them hard or, or. What is the exact... I'm going to show you the picture of this thing. It looks crazy. So it's pretty nice stuff. Yeah. You know, it looks like a tool.

It's $350 or $3.49.99. It's called the TSA with this thing. It's called the Bathmate Hydro Extreme. The Bath mate. It'll clear seven to nine inches. If you got seven to nine inches, you're... I know. That's unrealistic.

like I think it's real woke Wait, what's what's I'm unclear so it says Bath made Hydroxtream 9 penis pump clear seven to nine inches so it's like Means you can get to seven to nine inches or I think it is good enough for seven to nine You can because some of these are smaller there's like different smaller sizes Oh so it's oh it's clear so that that's what it's saying that's a different thing clear and then saying it's set so this is for people who are seven to nine inches Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah So, uh, the big boys, the big fellas.

The big dogs. So what do they need the pump for? It says penis pump that uses hydraulic pressure to potentially enhance erection size and stamina. For men with pre-pumped, erection length of 7 to 9 inches and maximum girth of 7.5 inches. Measurement gauge on your cylinder so you can track your gains. Handheld ball pump for alternative pumping motion. Swivel function allows 360 degree pivoting for use in any. position so uh this is electric i believe uh if you pump it up too much like a basketball or

i don't know oh no this guy gives it five stars and he says uh well he only gave it an orgasm rating of one out of five we gave it good reviews oh i think probably maybe he didn't use it to orgasm maybe maybe that's why this guy's dick looks like uh when you have one of those exploding cigars in the cartoons because he fucking left it plugged in overnight or something. This guy goes, does all it says it will. Have to respect the device and your own limitations. Since using it and trying to go for gold, I've experienced all the side effects they said may happen, red spotting, quote, donut big, the whole smack.

Nevertheless, through tedious and meticulous discipline regarding usage, it's added an inch to my circumference and three quarters of an inch to my length fully erect so so this is a thing is is this this is not nonsense this is a real I always assumed that this was a like that this was a joke yeah like I always assumed it was a joke when we were younger we would learn it you know it would be like in the back of some porno magazine or something like that and it always seemed like it was like a rip off like it was like a classic scam or whatever I would say though that if you're paying $350 for it, it might do something. Because I'm, the reviews, here's, here's another four star, good pump.

Good pump for my junk. But seriously, if you're a little above average and girth, it's worth getting this model in my opinion. Tried the Hydro Extreme 7 and was immediately a max girth capacity. And with the extra half inch on this model, it gives you a little room to grow compared to the 7 model. I've only been using it for a few weeks. I've been jelking a few months now.

And I'm absolutely thicker. The only problem I really had was it takes a little practice to get used to using the pump. The hand grip can pull off the pump quite easily, which can be annoying, and the valve can be easily flicked to the side, preventing you from releasing pressure if it's closed. These features are necessary to the pump's functionality, though, so it's really not a big deal and just takes a little practice. This is, it does, so I'm just wondering, like, how much work do you have to put it? Like, this is my, so, listen, if it's something and it's like, hey, you pop,

this little thing on it's just like a tube and you pump for a minute a night you know then it's like whatever whatever you it's not something i would do but you can't really judge people there's a huge emphasis on penis size in society still on some level so it's like hey if it's a little bit of work but how much work is are they spending a lot of their time and effort learning how to do this cleaning it yeah assembling disassembling how and just like and how much do you have to pump and like how much of this is of their life is this taking up i never really got the answer to how often people do it this guy goes five stars yeah this shit goes hard it fit my huge nine-inch hammer perfectly and just went to town like i can't explain like i can't explain the satisfaction it

did a better job than my bf for sure like that man cannot pump my penis like this thing Hopefully he learns, but until then, this is my new BF. Wow. I feel bad for his BF, honestly. As BF is trying. Well, you're all being replaced by these. This is honestly, this is honestly, it's basically a microcosm of what's happening in society in general. Is it we're all going to end up being replaced by AI?

Yeah, micro extreme fucking bath made penis pump. It's, it's more, this one is more reasonable price. price wise yeah and i'll tell you what though you're looking at it and it does look cheap it does look cheap compared to the other one it does the other one looks like a like it's made in like a air stream one of those trailers like it looks like something you'd see in like a marvel movie or something the other one this one seems like just like a plastic thing with like a little uh rubber valve yeah yeah that's way it walks into the room room and spider man's pumping his penis that's a nice like tony stark gave me this before he died

yeah i mean i think we all know though stark would be he'd be the one pumping though right stark would be the kind of guy who'd be doing the pumping yeah spider man's young uh reviewed by job this is five stars getting thicker this pump is amazing it has great suction and i've been using it for over a year my penis is only about three quarters of an inch longer but it's way thicker and feels heavier all the time oh god i'm actually jose i'm walking around i gotta stop bump it too much i love the idea like he's weighing it he's laying it off like one of those scales food scale yeah girl girlfriend starts like puts it in her mouth and he's like whoa like her mouth drops down holy shit oh oh

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. This thing is too much. This is heavier. This is heavier. This is so much heavier. My penis is only about three, he goes, my penis hits the end of the two because I'm already eight inches, but the girth has gone from five to six inches. Wife loves the thickness.

I use it almost every day, but I do three sessions, five minutes each. There you go, Chris. So that's, so 15 minutes a day, three different sessions. and you have a wife in like a house and a job and stuff and you're crazy to stop at your day three different times to pump your penis even if it's only for five minutes i mean he's like closing deals he's all the phone closing deals pumping his penis and stuff i got to go home for lunch today three and and also my coffee break later i'm going to need a i'm going to need to take five yeah this guy should spend the 350 the amount of

he's using it. Yeah. You know, get a good. The other one's probably more efficient. Yeah. Yeah, I do three sessions, five minutes each. The veins are bulging and it just looks beefy. Love this product. It just looks beefy. Oh, this thing is looking beefy. Feel it heavier all the time. This guy gave it five stars and it just says, fun. Bought of out of long time curiosity having first seen a penis pump on the Austin Power. film as a kid this guy saw it in that he saw the penis bump on Austin Powers

I was like I gotta get one of these That's not mine Oh that was a very That was a very funny scene When I was younger I loved that scene Well yeah it's funny though Yeah yeah yeah

It's like goofing on the idea Of the penis pump And this guy's like I saw the movie I gotta get one Although Austin Powers is kind of fucking cool Right like Austin Powers is like kind of suave he's like is he a ladies man no he's not ladies actually don't like him or do they I forget they love him they so if they love him yeah baby that kind of

was almost pro penis pump then right he's not some like loser who doesn't like he's like a cool suave spy who also uses a penis pump so I think the penis pump companies must have actually loved that yeah baby he says that yeah do I make you horny yeah do I make you Randy he's says yeah yeah that that's the only clip we'll ever cut of the show and it's me quoting off that's what this show is uh it says fun oh he goes um had to try had to try it straight away and so pumped away and enjoyed it very much very weird but very fun sensation so he's just having fun doing it that's actually kind of a nice message is like even if you don't get the results you could just have fun along the way it's like kind of a cool recreation

I'm recreationally pumping my penis. It's a little good thing I do. Oh, yeah. No, I'm not looking for length or girth, actually. I'm just like, this is a recreational thing for me. I just enjoy doing it. All right. This is from, uh, I found this on the subreddit R slash come bigger loads.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, by the way. way our slash come bigger loads isn't even nsf w what hmm this is called load boost load boost that's pretty straightforward semen volume sperm health and men's first fertility uh 120 capsules one month supply that's got this one this thing's got three point eight uh star rating on amazon which is extremely low that's not good not good because people love everything yeah yeah anything under four is not something you should be buying it generally i help you if you have some of these in the medicine

cabinet and your mother-in-law comes over has a headache no it's for lifting it's it's for lifting things yeah is what i would say she's gonna blow and loads the whole time she's here well this is 4495 you can subscribe and save though say 37 so this is something you take regularly sort of like a supplement kind of thing yeah does it even work well This is a four-star review from Johnny. By the way, again, when you review things on Amazon, people can know that it's you, I think, right? Like, you could follow a guy around Amazon. I don't know if that's the case.

I don't know. I don't know. Look. Yeah. I don't know if that's the case, but you're right. These people obviously don't mind being associated with this thing. With my favorite product, load boost. Yeah, you can see people's other reviews if you click on their name.

I will look at this guy, but this guy's Johnny says, four stars. Product works increased volume four out of five. Okay. I'm a 40-year-old male, 450 pounds. Product did increase semen volume. I'd say it was doubled or tripled. I took about two to three a day for two weeks before seeing results. Try to keep hydrated, but wasn't always successful.

but still work no weird side effects to my knowledge I'd say give it a try and see for yourself we all want a big load here so let's try something that works we're all here for the same reason

we're all here for the same reason listen I understand stop fighting over there in the corner we all want a bigger load here let's come to get I gotta say I do not think I care about load size yeah I don't know

this guy's 40 years old yeah that does seem like something younger me cared about maybe but i really sort of hey my load did the trick made a baby that that's really you know it was enough for that and that's really my main concern at this point yeah why do you want a big load for what for what it also seems like a thing one of those things that only guys care about you know what i mean Yeah, like I don't know. Like, listen, of course, again, not to get too sexual or whatever. But there's obviously women who are like really big into common, like, you know, that type of situation. But I think in general, yes, most women would be happy with a regular size low versus a huge one.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm going to fill out two solo cups. It's like, I don't like that. It's like more of an inconvenience, really, than anything. Yeah, it becomes a huge mess, obviously. It's, I'll clean it up, it gets on the bed, it's on your pants. Yeah, what, why is this guy? I would love to be able to follow up with this 40-year-old man and say, why at 40 years

old are you looking for a bigger load? This guy goes, I'm 53 years old. Okay, 53 years old, brother, just, just whatever load you got going on is fine, man. That's your load, okay. That's your load. If you're having an orgasm, be happy that you're having an orgasm, that's it. this guy goes uh yeah he goes i've been taking these pills for about a couple oh no he goes i'm 53 year old years old and i have never pre-execulated after taking these pills for about a couple

weeks not only did it boost my semen i get pre-execulation sometimes after urinating i've had confirmation that these were two luckily wait wait wait wait is there other stuff happening other than the urinating he's not in a little bit he's taking a 50s He's getting a little nut on. See, that doesn't seem, again, I don't want to be nutting against my, like, you know, like, when I'm just, like, sitting there and all of a sudden I'm nutting, like, there's that guy who has a disorder. I love talking about him, the guy who could never stop coming.

I saw a TLC thing about him. And he was like, I got a dad's funeral and he couldn't stop coming. Yeah, it's still really wild. Kind of the ultimate funny thing you can do at your dad's funeral. It's like exacerbated by, like, the thing where it's like, well, you're in a situation where you're not supposed to laugh. Yeah. Oh, I mean, D.D.D.E.

Even harder. I got to tell you, listen, my dad somewhat recently passed away. And I'll, I would be lying if I said at his funeral. It did not cross my mind the guy who couldn't stop coming at his dad's funeral. I mean, I would kind of think it would be good because it feels nice. You know what I mean? But it's embarrassing, obviously, right? I get it.

It's a humiliating. but anyway to bring it back to this guy he's happy that the com is just sort of dribbling out of them every now and then yeah yeah yeah i've been wanting to pre pre jaculate he wants the precom constantly never stop but i and i understand precum is this but is pre usually means before the full come yeah so not after you pee that that's what i'm saying is he like pre he's just peeing and then he's just having a little bit of a cum is he like is he finishing

afterwards I mean I don't think you can do that like at work yeah so this is what I'm saying so he's like he listen I he's not really doing a pre-cum he's doing a little cum dribble

well no it's probably not a little dribble it's a lot yeah this guy goes five stars load boosted not even joking been with my girlfriend for 11 years at this point never worn protection and never once had a pregnancy scare i'm not even joking after taking these for one month she got

pregnant within the second month to be taking them that's awesome that's what you want to hear if you're the manufacturer of the product yeah i would like to check that account i'd like to do some forensic analysis to see where the origins of that account are if they might be over at Load Boost Incorporated. I'll see if I can find him. This guy goes one star. Oh. Sounds like somebody's load was not boosted.

Took pills as directed and got a massive headache not long after. My heart started racing as well. And I almost took myself to the ER. I also felt like my lows. That would be a tough trip to the ER explaining to the intake you gave yourself an internal cum shots or your com went straight up to your brain and heart i'm sorry i i okay i took log boosts like yes whispered to the lady at the triage no don't worry about it's just load boost i'm not going to die my heart started racing as well

have some like charcoal that might like deactivate the load boost do you have load minus can you get me something to tamp down this load he goes i also felt like my loads were less than normal after taking this so i would not recommend at all buyer beware uh less than normal 17 17 people found this helpful oh so there was other people that found that it did not help and gave them headaches this guy goes word to the wise i wish you had looked up side effects before taking this the stomach pain diarrhea and bloating started the night of day three i stopped taking it after day three and three days later i'm still experiencing the same side of day uh have you considered having a jack off and seeing how much cum comes out to ensure yourself off it is to take something like that and get

diarrhea is and it's all calm when you shit it out the hell yeah yeah yeah okay so db sent us a guy that has he ordered two penis pumps mm-hmm uh so two of them he also ordered a biker jacket that's so cool and a lightsaber two pack two pack a lightsaber this would be a really fun thing to do just look at you know people's order like get an idea of the man you know like i know i'm like trying to sign i'm not signed in to uh amazon so i can't look at that uh okay well uh here i found some reviews of ox balls squeezed two inch ball stretcher um of course i'll show you guys a picture of this and i think that's a brand i don't think it's a brand I think it's a type of thing. It's called the ox balls. So I think oxen must have

huge balls or something. So this is just something you put around your your it's like a little looks like a plastic or silicon thing like clear thing that you yeah that you just sort of put around the base of your balls and let the $19.19.99 which I'm going to say this. It's kind of cheap. And I'm going to tell you why. What kind of materials you're making this thing out of? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. But why not just buy a fucking, why don't it just get a rubber band?

Yes, that's a really good. I think that if that's what, does this have any claims? Does it do anything? Like, does it say that it does something different with the design? It just stretches your balls. That's what it says. Yeah. So you're right.

Then just in any sort of anything to constrict that area or whatever. seems like it would work the same. You got to go rubber band mode. So this first review is five stars. He gave it five stars for design. Four stars for ease of use. Well, yeah, I did sort of. It's a bit wrapping your balls up.

Quality, he gave five stars. Okay. Five star quality on the ball stretcher is a little funny. five stars like luxury could not be any better there's no room for improvement there's zero room for improvement well unfortunately though it gives you one he gives it one star for orgasm rating but again why it's not meant to give you an orgasm I think that's maybe why they're giving it a one star rating right and five stars for value he goes good fit and comfy for me not erotic others may have more joy so yeah he didn't get horny or come from it at all

he didn't pre-ejaculate but this is meant to stretch your balls out I guess oh some people like that in a sexual way right these people love it yeah yeah yeah okay that makes sense he goes wonderful feeling I've been thinking about buying a ball stretch so these guys aren't maybe

these guys aren't doing it to make their balls longer they're doing it for some sexual gratification a lot of the time or something yeah I just like the S&M type thing maybe or something like that i just like the idea like the things i think about buying in the future are like a car or like you know what i mean like this guy's had a penis pump locked away in the back of his head for yeah yeah yeah he's like i'd like a new car new motorcycle uh and a ball stretcher i've been something i've been thinking about lately just my wife will love it she and

that's the other i forget the money together it's $20 he goes wonderful feeling i've been thinking about buying a ball stretcher for a while now and i'm very pleased i purchased this one it's not only a great fit but also gives a lovely pool on my balls and feels wonderful when having sex or masturbating now that he's putting this thing on to whack off which i think is really something he goes hoping that over time it makes my balls hang a bit lower so he's got loves this thing oh what's on on my bucket list um interesting i was hoping to stretch my balls out a little like really far out like i want those goddamn things to be crazy long like think about the longest balls ever

now stretch them a little more double that you're bouncing like uh this guy gives it four stars he gives design four stars ease of use five stars an orgasm rating three stars. So this guy did have an orgasm, it sounds like. Yeah, but not a great one. But if you're rating it three out of five for orgasm, rating that has to say you did at least get one, right? And the load was probably tiny. Well, who knows what he's working with it, what he's stacking. Who knows what he's stacking as far as it? But he took, he gave it three stars. You know what I mean? So it probably came out a little watery or something. But I don't know if, I don't know, like I don't know, certainly, the orgasm rating

I guess could be centered around the load but I thought there'll be the feeling of the orgasm wouldn't it mostly? Yeah this guy goes this is so comfortable

you can wear it all day it also it also makes for a good way to show off your package so that's pretty nice this guy goes first timer loves it

five stars I'm new to male sex toys I like low hangers but never considered weight I like low hangers. I've been hoping to have low hangers someday. He goes, never consider weight. Saw this and thought I'd give it a try.

Put it on for the first time this morning. Used a little shay nut oil. Funny. Shea nut oil. I knew balls. Good one guy. To lubricate it. Used both hands to stretch the squeeze wide to let my ball.

drop through gently released yeah see that's scary that's scary to me so what happens if you can't get it off of there you know you got to go to the hospital i hate being around my balls so much you know what i mean like i don't i don't i don't like fucking anything going on with your balls i agree like i think i think a lot of guys feel that way right where it's like it really makes gives you that feeling in the pit of your stomach like thinking about like compression on your balls or like anything like that. You know, it just, it's, yeah. Or like a lady kicking you in the balls with high heels

or something like that. Yeah, you just driving me nuts. Like a lady who's like fucking six foot four, like taller than you and like stronger than you fucking kicking you in the balls with these fucking red eye heels. Oh, that would kiss me off. It hurt too much. No, but I think that that like for me at least, yeah,

that is like the idea of this is not just like it's, it's like makes you feel bad, like uncomfortable. thinking about like squeezing balls in a thing like that. But it could give you a five-star orgasm. Listen, this guy. I hate to tell you, DB, I'm doing five-five-star orgasms a day, buddy. Five-by-five. Five-by-fives all day, all week.

How many times? Hey, Brian, when's the last time you had an orgasm? I'm not telling you that. This guy had, I have them all the time. I come after I pee. Pull up your front sheet. Let's see it. I'm measuring my load.

Sorry, they've been pathetic lately, and I really need to get myself. This guy that bought load booster also bought underwear, and it says four stars. These are roomy and comfy. I give them five stars, but they're a bit pricey compared to the competition. Somebody writes back, somebody from the company writes back saying, These are not meant to be roomy. That is very true. That is,

yeah, this guy seems to have mostly bought deodorant and load boost and underwear. He's a big, one of the guys that I clicked on bought the load boost pills, and then he also bought like a pistol holster. Body, man. I'm about to shoot some loads and shoot some load.

So he goes. I could feel a slight pool as my balls were pulled down, loved how it fell, kept it on for about four hours before I gave the twins a break after an hour or so. He goes, after an hour or so, I put it back on. I think this is going to be addictive. I think this is a match made in heaven. Just like out of a movie, you know, like looking across the room at the fucking ball compressor. Halloween's coming up.

Oh, yeah. And this guy has... Everyone got their inflatables? I don't do inflatables. They're lazy. We hate inflatables. We hate them around here. Honestly, I don't have a yard anymore.

And truly, though, if you think, if you're busting on inflatables, you're sick. Go old school, real decorations is a copo to do the inflatables. That's true. And they're expensive as hell. Oh, yeah. They're overpriced. inflatable market is insane it's like the amount of power they have as well is is really troubling i mean do you guys have the people that have inflatibles all year round in their front yard because

there are people in the neighborhood i like hollewan inflatable they'd have Halloween inflatables they'd have Thanksgiving inflatibles they'd have Christmas inflatables they have spring inflatables like Easter so they're always just replacing one with another like so it's never they have a rotation no we don't think it maybe in my old neighborhood there was somebody who who did that but yeah it's i don't see it too often i want to live in that kind of rich neighborhood that you're describing where there's inflatable all year round yeah thank you brian sorry we all don't we all don't live in like the most expensive the hamptons or wherever you live of our town and in a big palatial kind of fucking i live in i live in an apartment yeah the apartment it's what you know those things it's like is this guy's like i live

an apartment it's like one of those things in manhattan it's like three floors at the top of it it's like 6,000 square feet it's not that many square feet now people are saying it's 17000 square feet as though it's just that's what i heard i didn't i apologize if i got the numbers wrong but that was what i went online and read and that was what i read i i can look okay and tell you my i don't don't say that you don't have to say a real square here's the address you don't have to say the real square square foot here let me give you the address so you can search it 16 don't don't do that really i'm not going to edit this out don't make work for me like that it's just 1,677 square feet yeah good gosh that's why i knew i mean i said that's why i said 17 000 because i knew it was

1700 so i was doing it as a joke that's not bad it's really really that's very big it's quite big for an apartment definitely it's not uh this guy hallowing costumes for bigger guys as a more well-endowed guy. I've always had the challenge of trying to pick out a costume for Halloween parties. It doesn't make me look like a huge pervert walking around with a dick bulge. It's not that hard, you fucking idiot. Get it like a robe or something. Buddy, there's like a million Halloween. It's Halloween. You could do any costume. Yeah, you can't be certain costumes. Uh, you know, that's all. Uh, he goes, uh, Halloween parties that don't, oh, he goes, some ones that I've learned are off limits, Spider-Man. Yeah.

Or really any hero in tights, mummy. Why is that? You can hide your penis in a mummy outfit, yeah. Easily, easily hide your penis in a mummy outfit. And track athlete, that, okay, that's not even a cost. That's not a, and also you could, you could be that because you could wear like a track suit, right? You could wear like a, right? You could wear like the over.

Like you're warming up. Yeah, like the warm suit or whatever over top of the shorts. And you could wear like a, like a cup or something for your Spider-Man outfit, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this guy is, this guy sounds like, buddy, it sounds like you, God gave you a big dick and a small imagination. Sounds like you're bored and you're bragging.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, just that's a lot of the penis side subreddit is just guys be like, yeah, uh, he goes, anyone got any tips? Maybe making one of these work. I hate having to limit my options. And, uh, the first reply is so weird. Uh, it says a dice. yeah no I

you're right because it's like a big a big dice you could be so typically there's two of them yeah why would you just be the one well maybe

yeah a dice I listen I oh I don't have it here with me but I have I bought the thing I made the mistake of buying what I thought was a footrest that's a dice and I didn't look at the measurements

and it was really tiny like really tiny so I kept it because I thought it was funny um but yeah i mean it really gives you a lot of room for penis inside of that yeah yeah i mean i just never seen anybody dress as a dice so so you're telling me it's a fucking fantastic and original idea as well never even heard of it as an idea like for that to be that guy this guy is just only thinking about somewhere where you could put your penis he's like stop thinking about like a costume or anything really oh wow it's expensive to be dice i just found

one uh 4669 dollars dice lightweight mascot costume you're going to add a cooling fan for $19 a cooling vest for $49 and a storage bag for 69 which you're going to buy all those for sure you got to get the add-ons yeah uh so yeah you can buy i've just never heard of somebody dressing as no i've never seen it i think it's it would be really sort it's one of those ones where it would be just difficult to move around in and it would be big incumbent you'd be knocking into things all the time or whatever well now here's a smart guy fashion a large bed sheet into a toga it won't cling to the body and everyone will have no idea then get something else Greek and go as a Greek warrior hmm what a Greek warrior in a toga see I don't think the Greek warriors were toga

and if you're going to be a warrior yeah why don't you just put on like you know like codpiece yeah just like right just like dress and like there's just this is just a dumb again there's just a guy with a big penis because it's just a horny guy who wants to talk to other guys about penises yeah that's all that's probably what it is because this is such an absurd like premise the idea that like I hate having to limit myself to not going a spider man or a mummy yeah I mean those are two common ones more common than dice yeah yeah right right maybe aladdin he has some large pants or greek god something loose would be the best option if you don't want people to see your package well yeah that's the that's the idea yeah that's the idea

that he's i do like that he said aladdin like this is the first choice because aladdin wears those baggy pants yeah mc hammer emce he could go to mc hammer uh with those big hammer man. Oh, I'd love a pair of those big. I wanted those hammered pants so bad. What were they called? There's Zubaz, right? No, that's something else. Yeah, because Hammer's pants were crazy.

I had a pair of Zuban. Dude, you should I do pair. You shouldn't bring those back. I should, wrestlers are still wearing them all the time. Ryan's were thinking about getting Jankos. Oh, yeah? I am thinking about buying some, but they're a little too big for me. No, but this guy

doesn't understand Jankos. I'm waiting until they come out with a straight leg or a slim fit. They actually do have like more slim fit ones on the Janko website, but I'm like, that's not what you want to get. You want to get the actual Jankos, right? I can't wear those around. Why?

Literally, why not? Growing up, I wore them a lot and they drag all over the ground and stuff like that. I mean, you could, you know, you got to get the right length or whatever. But, but yeah, I think you can wear, you're one of the people who can definitely wear those around, right? Yeah. yeah why would you i suppose they're they're they're a logistical nightmare a lot of times you know because they do they drag across the ground you pick up all kinds of shit off the road and even back then i didn't live downtown i think it's much grosser now to be dragging my pants all over

the road downtown you know what i mean there's no way to make them not drag yeah maybe a shorter shorter leg maybe coolots yeah no you're right i know you you are it's part of it pre pants Listen, I will, I will see, I know you are the, you're the expert on Janko's. I wore those fucking things every day. Yeah. I had like three pairs. I had a maroon pair. I had a pair of, uh, white ones every day.

Yes. Yes. I would, it's like that guy that pumps his penis three times a day. I go into the school locker room and change three times a day. This guy goes, dress is it? Kweber got his afternoon fucking Jankos on. Rotating Afternoon

I knew I knew a dude who would wear like the jeans But he would wear like Basketball shorts Underneath the jeans And then like I guess underwear

Underneath that Oh like You could see the top Of the basketball shorts Yeah I was like Is that fucking hot On your shit man

Yeah That's crazy It seems incredibly uncomfortable Sliding around Swishing around And pants falling down My favorite My favorite things

Was the 40 ounce Pocket Where everybody would carry a 40 of beer in the back pocket because you couldn't see it out of the pants. So we would just walk around the neighborhood

just getting fucking drunk. Not me. I don't like getting drunk and I don't like beer. Or malt liquor, which we were all, everybody was drinking that at the time because... So what were you doing?

You were like, hung guy, well, I don't really want to park. He was in his books. I used to, what were you doing when they were drinking the beer?

Either would do sane-eyed special brew or little cids, gin and grapefruit juice. Okay, so you are getting drunk. I see. Just a different way. That's better. Okay. It makes more sense. All right.

We got one more thing. Genuine question for everyone. As a big penis owner, who enjoys the community here? I try to my best to participate in discussions and I put yourself in their shoes kind of way to avoid accidentally coming off as humble bragging or belittling. My question is, aside from the obvious trolls, size bullies, that will always exist in penis Reddit, I know that penis size is a very sensitive topic for a lot of us. Are there ways that genuinely well-intentioned big guys? And honestly, this question applies to comments from guys of any size, but I can only ask as a big guy. Talking threads that regardless of intense still end up perpetuating negativity, insecurity, shame, big, average, small dick stereotypes?

are belittling each other, other people. Just curious if there are social blind spots that are exclusive to whatever size category you're in. So he has this question. This guy goes, as a small guy, 4.5 by 4.5, which I think that means he's got a square penis, Minecraft dick, yeah. He's got a Lego block. This guy, he's got a, this guy's dick looks like Joe Rogan.

For got to him. He goes, I appreciate when hung guys are just honest about their experience. is it's interesting and more respectful than hedging everything out of concern for sensitivity the more you veil the advantages and perks the more we suspect they're greater than we imagine just don't be mean so he's like tell us tell us of what you've done just just don't please don't talk down to us this guy goes i believe every man would love to have a big dick i know i wish i did would be fun to show off i'm an average show off i don't know about that like like you don't get opportunities really to show off your dick and unless there's got to be a place you can go to show off

your dick though i guess you could be a one of those male exotic dancers that do those dancing bear videos where they like go to a place and a bunch of bachelor party ladies suck on their penis yeah you could be one of those guys and you know or you could yeah i guess like go to a locker rooms at gyms and stuff but like it just it seems there's something very odd about participating in that kind of thing like going working out of the gym going into the locker room but you really your whole thing is you're just looking to show up show up approach hey i is that is that a huge fucking cock sorry i didn't mean what do you do with that thing is you over here but I just had to, is that yours?

It's very, very big. Yeah. What, yeah, what kind of like, what kind of perks are there to that? Huge cock. I'm curious. This guy goes, I believe every, okay, he goes, I'm an average dick.

I've been with over 50 beautiful women and a couple of other ones. I've been with over 50 beautiful women. My size never. stop me sexy comes in all sizes l-o-l still would like to have a big one ha ha ha yeah i've been with over 50 beautiful women and a few men oh he said if he knows that's yeah yeah he goes i've been with over 50 beautiful women and a couple fellas this guy goes iq's a good analogy especially as mine is 148 because because there's nothing you can do to increase what genetic

hands you. I was in Mensa for a while. Those guys literally talk about nothing else except for when they're discussing eugenics. It's as easy for someone with a larger than average penis to say size doesn't matter as it is for someone blessed with intelligence to say IQ doesn't matter or a basketball player to say height doesn't matter. Where one is in relation to the average can be an inherent advantage or handicap. It's disingenuous to claim otherwise. If you happen to be born on third base, it's a preposterous humble brag to say that made no difference listen nerd we're talking fucking cocks around here doing nasty fucking jock talk okay this guy came in and just bored the crap out of me I know he comes rolling in there's like I'm in fucking menza time but they I found them to

be a little bit um you know beneath me I have a huge cock and I'm in menza and I don't think I'm posting on red it sorry yeah yeah I'm posting on Reddit about my my huge cock and being in Mensa. Which which subreddit to go to first this morning are slash big digs or shooting big huge loads or come bigger loads. This guy should have to come bigger loads and said not only do I have a big dick but I'm also in Mensa and my loads are enormous. I make a real mess.

I can actually, yeah, actually I can actually eye out the measurements on my loads due to my high intelligence. It's a fucking quarter cup. Yeah. You guys, I agree with this. The amount of people on here pretend their penis is their passport through life is just kind of shows a lack of life experience or awareness, if I'm honest. Your size literally doesn't matter until you get to the bedroom, no matter how much

bulging you do. I like this guy too. And just, you know, it's my passport through life. My huge penis. you're not giving me any advantages at all i suppose it can they're they're right that it doesn't but it can like if you're a famous person like those famous people with big penises maybe like uh Pete paul newman Pete david Pete Davidson or whatever right who's like gets that reputation in the public as having a big penis that could potentially help them maybe to like some person

wanting to see their big penis or whatever so that that could be the case but yeah they're right I think that if you're just walking around people don't know you have a big penis Which is fine Yeah I don't I'm not worried about people's penis And you're not worried about people knowing that you got a big one right Brian I mean you

Oh I got a fucking huge one dude It's crazy what I got going on now What is it again? It was 17 8 inches soft Jeez Louise You said 17 soft before Well 17 soft I think I remember I measured it earlier today I see it shrunk a little obviously it changes

obviously depending on your pumping schedule yeah I was pumping three for a while there I was pumping three times a day it was up to 17 saw just bumping your feet and seeing it get bigger in front of your eyes it's like a like an air mattresses or something fucking unfold that one we look that 350 dollar one I think had like some sort of battery power yeah we'd like you know really get it going this guy goes as a well-endowed guy sometimes it gets hard to be humble when you know the truth but I say try I try to stay humble for everybody's respect what do you mean a humble like why is it a humble at the end of the day I just got remember I'm a normal guy you know

but you are minus some enhancements but if you you just have a big he just tells that right yeah I mean, I guess it is like a, you know, a thing that you could be humble about it doesn't sound like the people who are out here posting on the big dick forum, you know, about how they have big penises are actually humble about it, though. I think it's so funny to say, I try to stay humble like you don't have to even do it. Yeah, you don't have to. People don't have to know the size of your penis, you know. It's not like you have to be thinking about what other people. Yeah, there's no, it almost shows that you are not humble and that you're saying that you can't, that you're not at all humble. It's not like they put it on your ID or something like that.

Like you can definitely, hi, it would be a funny thing to have on your ID though. Yeah. You know what I mean? This guy goes, and what's the truth? Yeah. So he goes, well, knowing that women have a slight preference for above average size and he replies and this guy horny as hell, how in doubt are you? So What are we talking here?

Yeah The guy answers Nine by six Ooh That's a thicky Do you think it might be too big And yeah I get it must be hard

To keep your feet on the ground Like knowing you're smart or handsome But you got to do your best I think This guy's got his head in the clouds He walked around with his head in the clouds With this huge fucking nine inch penis Is having a big penis supposed to make you fill you with confidence? I guess.

I guess there's some level of it. Maybe like if you're talking about with the opposite sex, it could give you some confidence in that sense, maybe. Well, he replies and goes, I'm probably too big for length, but I'm also curved up. So it's a unique shape. Pretty much best for the G spot.

My girth isn't incredibly thick. My MSEG, don't know what that is, uh, is five five foot five, but shaft it. Oh, 5.5 inches, but shaft is six, right? So it gets really thick, the deeper I go.

I want to try to stay humble, but I also know my worth. Like, I know I'm handsome, muscular, and have a big dick. But I mostly keep that to myself. And if someone points it out that I act more confident. Hey, listen, I know I'm handsome, muscular and have a huge big dick, you know? Yeah. Can't have a big head about it. Clip that, clip that.

Cut, clip that. You clip that one. Being in the same situation as you, I try to participate by remaining as humble as possible and without putting down anyone. And most of the time it works. And then finally, our last post. As a chode, average guy 5.8 by 6. There are many cases of insecure small penis size saying having a large penis just to call other short dick and feel a little boost of self-esteem. the really big ones are almost always super friendly oh my god this is like no honestly like

the toughest guys they're like they're always the friendliest you know like the guys who can really beat the shit out of you like they're the gentlest of all of them i love using that for penis guys yeah yeah and just opening your fucking thing is as a chode as a chode as a big tuna can guy big chode as a big tuna can chode i yeah that those ones to me are the funniest penises the uh thick short ones because it's because chode is such a funny word like yeah it doesn't get old to me a guy identifying as a chode yeah he goes i would also like to see more topics about the thick ones experiences so there you go uh thick one thick one represents in films when

Oscar Oscar's so thin yeah I mean this Oscar so thin I mean that that's a big issue though I will this is penis guy so it's a good place to say it is like let's start letting them show penises

erect in films without them being an X rating please can we get over ourselves why can we not have erect penises in films they look better erect we all know they do let's let the you know think about walking phoenix you know he fuck yeah pretty big lead i think is so he had his cock out as johnny cash and walk the line forget about it didn't no he had it in edington at the end his huge penis it was like it was it looked it looked heavy it was girthy as hell but imagine you get him and he's allowed to he's allowed to

showcase that thing hard. You know, I think that that could change a lot of things and make a lot of things better in the world. I don't know how exactly, but I just think it would improve things a lot. Yeah. Here's our final famous guy here, Tony Canal from No Doubt. Which one is that? You'll find out. No wonder Gwen Stefani went out with Tony for about five or six years. Tony's cock is about 10 inches long. He's a great kisser. Takes his time and it's totally cool guy. doubt aren't a metal or rock band, but since Tony has a 10-inch cock and plays the bass, I thought I'd include them for those of you who listened to a variety of music. Yeah, he sneaks in just on a, you know, because of the 10, the double-digit inches.

I think it's newsworthy. It honestly bums me out that like I, well, here, I think I, you can search the page, right? I don't know. It's not a page I go to, Brian. I'm not really sure. fuck i want to find out larz's penis size hold on you're just gonna google larz ars arid penis penis penis size it's probably fucking tall

remember that uh that guy whose pants fell open and you could see his uh lenny cravitz turtle yeah lenny craviz yep yeah oh it sent me to the same thing the metal sludge board metal sludge penis charge listen everyone i'll listen we don't have the information if you you have seen Lars's penis or you have any secondhand store like something on the internet you can point us towards something at guys.com tips at guys.com for and send it to the Lars inbox as well if you could. Yeah, yeah, please. We need to know Lars's penis size. It's so important. He's just such, David Drayman too. I'd love to know Drayman's penis size. Drayman's penis. It's got to be huge. He's

Mensa. He's the Mensa guy with the huge you know he's got a big dick if he's in Mensa. I think Lars does have a very small penis though and I'm not trying to be rude and I know like him I don't get a lot I don't like him that much but I'm saying this honestly I really believe I think it's rude that you don't like from looking at him I believe he has a very small penis. Yeah. All right. Oh, Lars Ulrich from Metallica. Lars is about six inches and has a hooded monk meaning he's uncircumstive. Uncumcumcumcised. First of all, let me just say I didn't do the intact of this guys because it actually made me sad. Yeah.

Like, I just felt like that I felt like kicking people when they're down or something. Like, it didn't feel right to me. Maybe later I'll find some guys that are funny. But I just was like, man, this is a lot of like 19 year olds. Yeah. You know. And so he goes, he's about six inches with a hooded monk, meaning he's uncircumcised. That's to be expected.

He was born in Denmark or some. foreign country like that. Oh, yeah. He's a quick shooter. Or somewhere. Quick shooter. He's a quick shooter and likes multiple girls. He's also fond of blow jobs.

And that might result in his monk not wanting to come out and play. He, oh, no, he's also a fond of blow. Um, okay. And that might result in his monk not wanting to come out and play. And he constantly talks. Shut the fuck up already. And he's losing his hair. But that's another charles.

Holy shit. So in, in the penis, they're like, He was so fucking annoying. He never shuts his fucking mouth. Oh, Mike. And I believe that. Yeah, I believe that. The only part of that was surprising was the six inches.

Yeah. All right. Mike. Yes, sir. Your Kickstarter sucks. That's the pod. That's what they tell me. It's the best podcast.

I love it. I like it more than mine. We got to have you boys on. And we are. We are coming on. The end of the month next month. Oh, yeah. For some movie action.

Oh, and we get to over. Can I tell you something? You sent me, I'm not going to spoil it, but you sent me the movie that we're about watching that movie. Yeah. I've never seen the movie before. That movie. I've never seen it either.

And I was literally like looking for like great movies, like these lists. And I found that it was like a movie that I was planning to watch. And then you sent it over to me saying, do you want to watch this for my? That's, that's wild. Like I was like, it was like one of the next movies I was planning to watch. Yeah. It's a banger. Because I was, I was honestly worried that you.

were going to make me watch something really shit. No, I wouldn't do that, too. I appreciate it. I made you watch superhero movie. You know, could have done it. All right, we'll see you all next week. I don't know what we're doing. Oh, probably knife guys.

Bye. I don't know why it waived.