Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 141 - Knife Guys with Paul F Tompkins

Episode Date: October 14, 2025

This week on Guys we have Paul F Tompkins on to talk about a ton of stuff but mostly Kinfe Guys. I had my knife guy days, we talked a bit about the throwing knives, badass knives, why a guy has so many knives and how to win a knife fight Go See Paul's tour!!! https://paulftompkins.com/ There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201    

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. Slice, slice, slice, slice, slice, slice. I'm a knife guy. Actually was a knife guy for about a year. and my guest oh my god oh no beginning of the shows up my my co-host is here chris james hi chris hey everyone so hey sorry about my uh my co-hosts there making a you know a rare flub uh off the start so that's very rare for him uh and i'm guessing he's pretty embarrassed as well because we have uh we have a pretty cool guest on well i was also crying before we recorded about not being able to make a wheel of Dane

cook. So I'm already like that's our guest this week for Knife guys. Paul F. Tompkins. Hi, Paul. Hello. Knives. That's a, Chris was like, what are we going to do with Paul? And there's two different calculus

that we make with the, do we want it to be something? Calculations. Do we want to make it something that they are into? Or do we want to make it something that it seems like the total opposite of them. So we chose total opposite with you.

Because sometimes you do something with people that you're like, oh, this guy really likes this and we're just making fun of this. That happens to us. And it does. The feedback we get on those is pretty much like, oh, this was sort of uncomfortable because it seemed like a lot of the mocking was directed at the guest, even though it wasn't, you know? Now, is this always found out in the moment?

most of the time for everybody i mean even found out by chris in the moment a lot of the time he doesn't tell me what the episode is before we started he'll throw me for a loop you'll change it at the last second or whatever so yeah it's very i think it's like it actually helps for i don't want to be fucking mind games what this one he knew paul this one he knew about because he wanted some he wanted power of veto or whatever i can see his screen name is slice man chris so of course he knew about this Yes, unless did you just record a pizza-based guys? That was a very long time ago. And we found out I was one of those too, okay?

Who isn't? Come on. Yeah, that one, a lot of us are pizza guys for sure. So, yeah, this is knife guys. Chris, have you ever collected knives? I've never collected knives. That's for sure. I've used knives in like, but I think probably we use them differently.

And I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing we did because I would, used to make like camping and stuff like that most camping mostly i don't camp paul have you ever like been into knives at all do you know what i have not but i could see myself becoming a knife guy because there are some knives out there they're absolutely gorgeous there's some good looking knives out there in the world and i have had friends who are knife guys and it's undeniable that it's like I there's a certain aspect of it of like craftsmanship that when you look at something that is made to look nicer than it really needs to look you know what I mean just for pure aesthetics you I cannot help but be entranced by that yeah I bought a bunch of switchblades

a couple years ago a bunch of switch blades yeah a bunch of switchblades all different kinds so the ones that come out on top click like that comes out of the top i got the ones that flip out you were not allowed to have though those are illegal where i live i won't bring them with me when i go to canada no i know but aren't they i'm i was asking if they're illegal where you were like where you buy they were legal so you're allowed to have we have a little thing here called the second amendment you're allowed to have switchblades all you want here people don't give switchblade dudes enough credit for being second amendment enthusiasts and Defenders.

Yeah. It is funny when you go look up. If you go, just go, because there are a lot of knife rights groups, which is a funny thing to be in 2025 when there are like real rights to be worried about. And these guys are like, I think we're going to get brass knuckles legalized next. Oh, they're pushing. I was going to, that's what I was going to ask. What are they pushing for?

Because knives are very much legal, right? I guess pushing for switch blades and stuff like that. But do they want to be like, like, they want to be like, they want to be able. the like carry because you can you can just carry a knife around on your belt they want to legalize rumble weapons any weapons you would have in a rumble so it's like i should be allowed to have a bike chain on me anytime i want well it's funny reading guys in texas say like i think it's going to finally happen i think we're going to be allowed to have brass knuckles with a blade on them and it's like with a blade on why why do you need that for like that's a weird weapon to have

Yeah, and in Texas, it seems like a weird weapon to have as well, right? Like, it's like clearly meant for combat, but you're in a zone where a lot of people have a better weapon than that. Well, yeah. When I was Googling knife fights yesterday. All right. Like on, I went to Reddit and I typed in knife fight on search. And I'll say this about the knife guys. They're like the karate guys.

And they say like, hey, if you're faced with a knife fight run. But there are other guys who are like, what if I can't run because they just want to fight a guy with a knife? I believe that like they want to beat a guy with a knife. What if I can't run because I want to do this? That's what I think. I'm telling you. And they're all like, they're all like, don't fight them. Some guys, this, I read a guy yesterday saying like, you know, it's a lot harder to stab a man than you think it is.

It takes a lot more force. And I'm like, what are you doing, dude? What's going on that you know these answers and stuff? Oh, trust me. You don't want to learn the hard way like me. I mean, I thought he meant emotionally at first. Like, it's harder than you'd take to stab a man, like the feelings. But he meant physically it's hard to get the knife into the man.

Well, yeah. The only emotion is want to stab. Yeah. That's the easy part. Yeah. And it's like, so I thought, yeah, let me go to. I went to Quora because it's good to go there and find out what the guys are saying. And this guy's name is Nick Harvard.

Now, he went to the University of Liverpool, not Harvard. But I thought his last name. It's a last name as well. That's like my friend Nick Liverpool. He went to school somewhere near Boston. He goes, what's the best kind of knife to use his self-defense? Now, this answer gets crazy. Of course, because it's a guy answering knife questions on Gwara.

He goes, I'm not sure why this rather old question popped up in my feed, but it's worth answering tools we use as weapons either force additives or force multipliers sometimes both uh force multipliers anytime i hear somebody use that terminology i know this is not a guy for me for sure what does that mean force multipliers it's like anything that multiplies your force you know it's like i mean pa i don't know i don't cut out that i ask that cut out that i know it's like it's a weapon it's a weapon so it's like something to make you hitting them why is everything so fucking grim all the time force multiplier

yeah well we were going to fight with hands but he had a he had a stick which is a force multiplier not much it's only a little bit yeah they have a scale like if you're really into fighting and combat stuff which again I don't know like there are obviously active wars

going on and stuff but it doesn't strike me as these are these are soldiers so these are people who are just discussing the possibility of having like a weapons fight which seems to me would be so rare to have Chris I think you have to remember we just did that security guys episode oh yeah and that it's such a it's a guy sitting around and being like okay now what if I'm waiting in line at the bank and somebody puts a switch blade up to my neck what do what move do I do then yeah you know what I mean like living in living in wallberg mode all the time just like yeah like just thinking about like if i were there

in that moment yeah i do because i think and i don't want to i'm going to out myself a little bit that like i i have been guilty of that on a smaller scale before where there's like some sort of situation i'm like oh what if this guy here who started like try to kill me or whatever like what would i do so i think that's a little no but i you guys allowed to have sticks up there yes for a lot of sticks what are you talking about by the way people a lot of people have guns up here too there's just not concealed care like you can't carry them out in public and stuff but a lot of people have guns still they own guns you you're allowed so i'll bring a stick up when i come up there i would say don't i would say when you're when you're flying up here i'd say don't it is so funny

it's so funny to think that if if there's another country that does not have mass shootings every day of the week they're like they must not have guns yeah they just must not have them That's what's funny is I'm kind of saying like, uh, uh, like I'm joking around, but my father-in-law is like a big time Trump guy, uh, Paul, he lives in a chicken coop. Yeah. And he shits in a bucket. Uh, he's a prepper. They bought a chicken coop and they turned it into a house and they moved into their son's backyard. I thought you had married like Rumpel Stiltskin's dog. Well, I mean, so. chicken coop he sits in a bucket no a lot less a lot less of a fairy tale this one so so uh i'm over there one day and and he's like we're going to go down to dc uh we're going to drive motor was this in january a few years ago i don't know this was this was a set he goes this is the kind

of guy where if he says we're going to go to dc you're like uh oh how come what's going on well he was going to go right as he was going with uh his son-in-law to ride their motorcycle around for POWs or whatever you know that guys those guys are like oh i'm going to get on my motorcycle and ride around and the POWs are love it and uh that's what they do we're going to do circles we're going to do figure eights this is all for the POWs yeah uh uh so he's he's like doing that And he told me, he was like, that's really hard to go to D.C. for me because I can't bring my gun. And I'm like, you got, you, you don't need it. I promise wherever you go, you're not going to need your gun. Because they're not going to go to a scary D.C. neighbor. They're going to go stand around the White House.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the same rules for everybody there, right? So it's like the other people aren't allowed to have a gun either, right? Like, I mean, I know some of them do or obviously, but it's just, you could use that. You could try logic with them and try to, but then you trust the other people who also would want to have their guns. It's the people that you don't trust that we'll have the guns for once. And so I just remember whenever somebody says like they're gaming out some kind of a home invasion or something like that, I think about that. And I'm just like, I can't be like him.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He showed me his gun one time. And I, he was like, I'd love to show you. my gun and I was like I don't really care of seeing a gun before like I've shot a gun I've been around a gun it's not an antique like like Paul was saying it wasn't it's not like it doesn't have like details it's just a regular gun you get from the gun store yeah it was too it's like a nine

millimeter like thing it's like the one you see on TV yeah in every movie and he goes uh I'm looking at his he got going to see his gun in his bedroom next to his bed and as he's getting the safe out I look at his headboard, he's got a Trump sticker on it. And I was like, well, I'm more kind of obsessed with that than I am with the gun you're about to show me because why would you put that's a weird place to put your sticker on the headboard of the bed. 70 year old man, 73 years old. Do you think he does like a kisses it.

Oh, yeah. A kiss tap at the end of the night and the morning. That makes sense. Like when Trump hug the flag that one time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, ah, here's a guy that asks a good question on R slash knives. Anyone ever have to explain why they like to collect knives? So one of my wife's friends saw part of my huge knife collection and expressed a low-key degree of alarm to my wife.

My wife had never really questioned it beyond just asked me why I needed to buy any more. But thanks to her friend, she suddenly had concerns over why her husband owns over a hundred different pocket and belt knives and swords, et cetera. I really had no answer other than to tell her it must be just like her urge to buy so many shoes I just like the way we hear that sort of argument a lot on our podcast

I just like the way knives look and how they feel to hold and that's probably the case for some people but I also do understand the other side of that as well that like it is obviously a very violent it's used for violence a lot so it just seems like

the type of people who collect knives sometimes do also tend to be scary i've found they're expensive to they're so because when i started collect when i started collecting knives my wife got me one i learned how to flip it and it was so excited so why oh you were you were you were flipping knives you're into that kind of thing that kind of makes sense but what made you what made you get into knives so like four years ago yeah i know i was going to say you used you did it when we

were like used to do shocktober i remember you flipping your knife around and stuff like that. Yeah. What are you doing? I just said I want to get into knives. I don't even know how what happened. Knife guy might be the first type of guy I ever really under because I was like, I'm going to become a knife guy. Wow. Yeah. And then I asked for a knife for Christmas. As like as an adult, you decided to do that like as like, yeah, that's, that's wild. And you don't really know why you just did like there was nothing. You didn't see a guy with a knife that was like you thought was cool or something like that. I like the flip. I'll say that. Like I remember growing up, this guy used to hang out with how to butterfly knife and he knew how to do the whole move

yeah and i always wanted to learn that but those are illegal here butterfly who is that who had the knife mar his name was martin he also had a zippo oh cool so he was pretty pretty i wasn't sure if we mean a lot of the people that's no something weird about martin yeah his dad smoked non-filtered pall malls oh so at the end of the night every night he would go to all of the ashtrays and empty the palm of what was left of the cigarette into a bag and then we would roll it up with the paper smoke in the next day. Yeah, classic tobacco roach joint. I mean, we've all done it with weed before, obviously, but the tobacco road join. It had so much tobacco to so much. It was beautiful to us because we couldn't buy cigarettes yet because we're 13. Yeah, because no filter. It's like

you get, you just get it down to the fingers. That's when you know you're done smoking. Yeah. Yeah, I know. You feel that heat? I did it. This guy goes, I explained it to mine that it's jewelry for men. She said I don't complain about her buying trinkets, so she can't get on me about mine. Keep her. But I mean, like, shoes, jewelry, these are things that you can use that are no threat to anyone else. I actually like that this guy doesn't know what his wife collects and just calls it all trinkets.

Trinkets. Yeah, just general trinkets. Yeah. Oh, she collects trinkets. What kind of, whatever, the statues or something. Maybe he's married to a big bird. Yeah, I mean, I mean, it's a very good, shoes are very, listen, obviously some people have a lot of shoes. I probably have too many shoes, but they do serve a very important purpose. Well, although we did just a few weeks ago learn about, we did barefoot guys who are really not into shoes at all but but like yeah those are really important and then jewelry is like a nice or anything i guess if you bring your knives out yeah and you put them on your like belt or

whatever then they could be this a similar thing to jewelry but see that's the thing with with knife guys i guess is when this is the crux of it is how many knife guys are knife guys who and i know a few of these guys just like to have a knife in their pocket for practical purposes and i have never seen it for the most part this knife you know whatever their knife of the day is but then there's knife guys who want to bring it up so that you will ask them to show you the knife yeah or and they won't let you touch it there's like a lot of guys that have like a switchplate or whatever or just like well you can look at it you know or or they'll be like let me flip that out for you and it's like 90% of the knife fun is flipping yeah yeah but you don't part i like you don't know

how to do like a proper what if like you're gonna flip it you might do something you might fuck up the knife or what i know which blade seems like hey let me let me just pop the button you know what it's awesome too yeah you would think that paul you think that but there's a little bit more of an art to it and if you could just hand it over it here please at all i'll show you how it's i i had i had like because they make like hype beast switch blades and that's what i was getting into like brands make them or not brands but like Like they have like a Simpsons one. They have one that looks like cake.

A Simpsons one? No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A Simpsons one, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. You're pulling up the Simpsons, the Simpsons switchblade at your knife fight. Like, you're going to get laughed out of the knife fight. No, they don't care. They love them.

They won't, they want, okay, here's the cake looking switchblade by, uh, there it is. I'll show you guys the, the one I, I really wanted this and I missed the drop. So I wasn't going to spend any amount of money on it. You weren't going to get it on, like, resale. I wasn't going to go on stock X and buy. You say it looks like cake. I don't think knives should be whimsical. I don't think they should whimsical.

Yeah, it doesn't even look like cake either. It's just, like, pink with the sprinkles or whatever on it. I was expecting. Pink donut is what it's called. Yeah, I know. It's kind of a simpsonsie. That one's kind, it does kind of look like the Simpsons donut or whatever. I'll tell you what I wanted to buy.

Hey, show me that green guy. I haven't bought a knife. in a long time like I haven't bought a knife in so long but yesterday I saw a Deadpool one and I was like oh maybe I'll buy the Deadpool knife that sort of makes more sense to me than a Simpson's knife

yeah yeah yeah yeah it's cool violent deadpool is very violent right he's also very funny and he doesn't just attack people no he's very funny let's get that out of the way he's very funny he's a reverent Brian you're not allowed to participate in this

sarcastic this thing because you genuinely like the movie. So we, we hate Ryan Randall. We don't hate him, but I hate, he's, I live in Vancouver and he's like Vancouver's, you know,

oh Vancouver's Ryan. Yeah, and it's like, we don't really like him that much. We like Nardwar. Nardwar is the most famous guy. The human serviette. The serviette is the number one guy in Vancouver.

They're way more into the guy that started Lulu Lemon up there than they are. Chip Wilson. Yeah, we're, If you could understand how despised Chip Wilson is in his hometown of Vancouver. Like, he's been despised before any of it. Like, he used to throw these big parties at his mansion in Kitsilano and on the beach and have like the red hot chili peppers come and play there.

And the neighbors are like, come on, man. Like, he's having full rock concerts. It's a chili peppers, though. But there's, not everyone likes the chili peppers, though. That's true. And it's like, there's, there's places right next door. Like, it's not like he's in this remote kind of area or whatever. He's just like, yeah, he's a real hated figure.

They invite the neighbors to the Chili Peppers concert. They're going to be at it anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want the good seats or the bad seats? That's the only question. Here's an interesting guy. I've been a knife person since the mid-1990s. I'm showing some fucking road rash from dealing with non-knife people who ask us to explain

this shit and treat us like we're dangerous psychos and need a. mental help i say to them i love this i say to them it's mankind's oldest tool you have more than one kitchen knife why is that could it be that in the kitchen different knives perform better at different tasks you fucking got me use every kitchen knife you have every day no i don't i don't but you still have them all tools in the garage versus tools in the handyman's work truck same concept shoes same concept closing for that matter same concept i'll never get why this is such a perplexing thing for non-knife people. I love that

he separates the world. Yeah. Knife people. I can't believe I got poned so hard by the way. Yeah, he did. I saw you kind of coming to a few realizations there. He anticipated my every argument.

He goes, I will never get why this is such a perplexing thing for non-knife people who nearly always have way too many of something, them goddamn selves. Yes, but not knives. Yeah. That's, it, yeah, it is like you're always going to when the thing you collect is so regularly used to, you know, kill and decapitate people and stuff and do these horrible violent crimes, then you're going to have to deal with that, that people are going to think you might be a little bit, you know, wild.

Yes, because the question is, you have all these knives. What are you doing with them? Are you just putting them on a wall and admiring them? or are these are these a practical thing for you in your daily life and it is it is like all you need is like two or three all you have to do is say like oh you know I'll cut an apple with it or you know sometimes people need a string cut or so I can't think of five yeah that's those aren't great reason it's all be honest with you apple string Why do you have your knife?

Stabbing someone, okay, you got it out of me. The most obvious murder ever. Your Honor, I encounter string on a daily basis. Yeah, the Apple thing is like something you've seen in movies or TV, Brian. I feel like the guy just like slices off pieces of an apple. But you did it because you did it because you saw it, I feel like. I got to look cool. Yeah, yeah.

I have bought, my wife asked me at least once a week to borrow my pocket knife. I've bought her several of her own, but she knows I always have mine. She's also always asked if I'm bringing my knife when we go on walk. Seems like she's embarrassed, but that's just me. Answer always yes as to why so many. Does she, does she ask like, hey, you bring in your knife or are you bringing your knife? Like, how does she ask it? I think it's the second, you can bring your knife again.

I would love to see that. Especially if it's like a belt. Because a lot of these guys carry a fix blade belt knife. That is such a fucking weird thing to do. Like I remember people that hang stuff out of their pockets. It just blows my fucking mind to think about. Displaying your things like that is really bizarre. Whatever it is, like it's bizarre.

It is just that person that you're talking about who's like wants to have conversations about it, wants people to. And then occasionally too, which we encounter a lot on the podcast, it's those people who are like, everyone's fucking stare, look at it. me all freaked out because of my gut you know like they're just they're doing because they want to freak everyone out and they just yeah they always decide same as like wearing a fuck you t-shirt or whatever oh you want me to get rid a lady came a lady came up to me yesterday with a shirt that just said the C word on it oh that's where I didn't even notice it it makes me feel a thousand

years old I was I was in the airport one time and this kid like in his 20s and he had a jacket it on like like a sort of like one of those like um warm up jackets you know like yeah yeah uh and on the back it just like said fuck all over it and I was like we're at the airport

yeah the lady stopped I felt weird because she's she was like I'm we're like in a liquor store and I was like standing at one place and she was standing in like another place and she's passing me and she's looking at my shirt what did your shirt say you just had a fucking cool car on it oh okay i thought

that maybe sound like a three-year-old boy that i realized baby sound like a lightning McQueen on it no no no no no it was like a transam well oh that transam what kind of shirt is it paranoid oh oh no brand oh nice nice yeah you got you got it when we're in toronto Yeah, shut you up. Yeah. He knows I love Canadian clothing brands. Like Lulu Lemon. I do.

I'm wearing Lulu Lemon. And so are you. And so are you. So don't even say you don't. This guy who his name is carnivore muscle. Sure. And the name is cold steel enjoyer. And he goes, wife's friend is an idiot.

What would your explanation do? So what was that? What was that? What was it? Remind me? What was the? the wife's friend said why he got so many knives oh he's just an idiot what an idiot yeah the other top favorite thing is this guy says less expensive than collecting cars because they

always won't think of a thing that's ultra expensive yeah you know what i mean and be like no shit it's less expensive it's normal that's the most expensive one you can have really that's like only like super rich like billionaire level guys are collecting cars like that I feel like this guy have any billionaires there's got to be one who's decided I'm really going to go insane with this I'm going to collect yachts I'm going to have tons of yachts I bet that's what I bet honestly there are problems like really at this time like that's what it's got to be now because they've just accumulated so much wealth and yeah to them like collecting cars I guess it's not just billionaires like multi millionaires or whatever so yeah I bet you there's yacht collectors we should I'm going to have my own marina yeah we should have my own marina yeah we should have if we should find them and give them an award, a big award, you know. Here's a guy that has maybe closer to my politics. He goes, Brian, hey, let's not start to keep talking about this. Last time we talked about something like this, Brian had to go back and take down the

episode because somebody said, well, he just mentioned something about the bank. And then someone was like, you shouldn't say that in the current climate. nervous so what you know and don't say what i said about that's not i'm not gonna because i edit the episodes and i've no one have to take it out i'm mad at the bank that day i don't know what you want to say i was having a hard bank time uh this guy goes i'm a bleeding heart liberal since forever but i've got zero patience for panty waste who asks why do you need to carry a weapon it's a tool you fucking wet wet wipe get fucked he doesn't feel bleeding heart to me though i don't yeah doesn't Sound like a liberal guy.

I think that means he's got a black friend. Yeah, I don't even get mad at my black friends. I'm the outlier in my group. I have a black friend. Here's a guy that shouldn't have knives. He goes, me likey. I actually never thought about why. Oh.

Yeah, you should think about it, dude. Yeah. But wait, you never thought about it either, Brian. Me? I did think about it. Okay. I like owning cool things. Yeah.

It was like, it went knives and then I got a Lego set. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, that was before you got it to Lego. I didn't have a single Lego when I was into knives. Have you made a Lego knife? Oh, probably. I mean, he's like, like he was really into Lego. They don't make Lego knives.

I mean, it's safe to say that he was like dangerously into Lego at a time where it was, he was spending it was like consuming too much of your time i might have been buying too many lego like richard rifez and close encounter style where you just like making everything yeah so paul what happens what happens jean hackman in the conversation just laying everything out of the as he used to tearing up floors i am to making making legos his castle right i do he used to have his whole lego town behind him like on stream and stuff i'm kind of like oh wow I did get out of hand. Like sometimes I'll see old videos of the stream and stuff like that.

And I'll see the room I used to be in and be like, oh, you got two into Legos. You got to cool out on the Lego. But you like building the, sorry, go ahead. Sorry,

I get Lego from the perspective of the satisfaction of building it and having it be done. But then what do you do with it? Exactly. That's he's the exact same as you, Paul. Like he only liked the building of it. So that's what he realized. He just started giving it away or,

giving away and selling them yeah yeah would you would you take it apart to give it away i they want it put together i gave so what i did was they so if you're selling it at a place they they want it to be together when you sell it i guess oh you're selling it at a place sometimes it's hard to say he's trying to keep his stuff like because he said he's going to sell all his leggo and i was like hey man you're doing okay why don't you donate your lego and i sort of forced him to donate again i donated them all of them so he has the but some of them he sold still but then yeah he i'm telling i just finished one last night i'm selling what did you buy them riverboat uh there's a place called bricks and mini figs and they'll just buy them they and he knows me now he's

just like this guy he'll take whatever i'll give him because i don't really care about the amount of money you know what i mean so i was like all i can yeah have you ever heard the term mark on the street he sort of walks in right and they just see like dollar signs above his head as he walks in because you're like this guy's got no idea. They think he has no idea. You really just don't care. I don't care. No, no, no. You give me 50 bucks.

I don't care. You don't go out to dinner or something. It's fine. Here's a question from... Dream customer for mini-fix. Just give me whatever. Here's a guy on R slash preppers. He asked the question. He goes, throwing knives. Are these

worthwhile for self-defense versus just a regular bowie? type knife. I like the idea that you throw them. I like the idea you aren't using ammo, which you're not saving money on that. Well, yeah, you are. No, because you go pick the knife out of the guy's skull and then you can go throw it at another guy. You can't do that with a bullet. You got to wipe it off on his, on his chest. Yeah. It's a whole deal. What situations do these guys think they are getting into where they're wondering about throwing knives. Is it worth it?

The preppers we've found are, so most of the time they're just spending their time at home you know, do them figure out a way to like turn their poop into fertilizer or something like that. Just whatever. Like whatever they're doing, my in-laws

are doing it. They want two years for Christmas, two years ago for Christmas my in-laws gave us a big bottle of something that just said cough medicine on it. And it was something they made. he still has it he still has it because it's such a crazy thing to get what did it happen had a little simple

skull and crossbow on it too I think that was a joke from them that's their sense of human pretty funny so I think a lot of their time is sort of spent doing that learning how to make cough syrup whatever it is

And then, like, the other, the, while they're doing that, they need to occupy their mind. And the thing they use to occupy their mind is somebody's going to come and try to take all their cough syrup. That's the huge thing. You can learn how to make cough syrup. It would be the best cough syrup maker in the whole place. But if you don't know how to defend your cough syrup, then you're going to be coughing up a storm. Let me tell you. You can always make more cough syrup, but then people know you're a pushover.

You're just a source. Then they just show up as soon as you're done. They get on a schedule. They take it. In doomsday situations, that's like a key thing. You have to be able to, or on the other side, if you just want to be aggressive, you can just learn how to attack and take people's cough syrup or whatever. I guess you could.

A third option that I don't know why you would do this is become an altruistic person who provides cough syrup to people that need it in this post-apocalyptic society. But I don't know why you would do that. The people who need it, how much and the people who need it, what are they giving? exactly my son's been coughing lately can I get some of your cough syrup no I'll throw a knife at you

like I throw a knife at you does this answer your question that I and I think that like they're most because like I used to I used to just sit down with my in-laws and say like nobody's coming for your stuff guys

they live in a modular class but they used to live in a modular classroom from an old high school and uh they they like lived in this like in the middle of fucking nowhere there was nothing around them and i was like nobody's coming here at all did you and your spouse meet at school at school high school they grew up together his her parents were relatively normal and then they moved to florida and lived in the villages for like oh okay and it just fucking fried their brains it was great so this guy goes getting stabbed isn't like in the movies where you go bleg and die i i got stabbed

in a fight many years ago i didn't even know i got stabbed thought i'd want a fist fight and wonder why everyone was trying to get me to sit down all of a sudden this guy's pretty bad asses this guy's badass man but i do i i think that is common like i i told the story recently and my friend getting stabbed outside of the strip club by the person in his own party who stabbed him by accident in the melee and i think that's a common thing are they still friends after like Was it like, oh, they were not, they were not friends after. Oh. They did have a falling out after, actually.

That's a friendship tester. That was a friendship. Because they weren't close enough. Do you know what I'm saying? They weren't really close friends. They were like part of the same. They just sort of didn't nearly hang out. It was a little awkward.

I think both of them were happy to not hang out. I definitely have friends that if they stabbed me, we'd still be friends. And then there's some other people and I'm like, you know what? I don't need you in my life anymore. I don't need the reminder of it. Even if I don't blame you for it, it's just like, oh, there's the guy who stabbed me. Almost ended my life. I had to go to Osville.

I'll never know if it was an accident or not. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I could see. I've never been stabbed, of course. Mm-hmm. But I've done, I've gotten into, you know, I've told you stuff. I got beat up or, no, I never really got beat up by anybody that didn't get theirs later on, of course.

Of course. Of course. Well, yeah, he is in a, we won't talk about it too much. But, yeah, he was in a violence gang where he would sort of go out. His name was Queber and he would go out there and he'd be like, hey, what's your problem buddy and then they would come in and all his fucking big tough friends would come and beat the shit out of them. No that's not how it happened. Basically that's because when you say hey what's your problem buddy I was cool as hell yeah you were yeah whatever you were like hey Brian yeah this is what

they say hey Brian you're funny first off they did not call you Brian they did not call you Brian. No one called you Brian not even their parents called you Brian they all called you queber quiver oh quiver queaver with a bee no all the names you're saying are like way better Paul and way more respectable like weber queber yeah yeah what does that well it's it's a combination of his last name and then of course a pussy fart it's really what how do i leave the meter so they were caught but but like there were times where like you know me and this guy used to hang out with got into a few fights about

I'm not going to talk about what we got it into fights about but like we still were the gold standard it was about pubic hair is it real no do you have it I heard you don't have it

from somebody at school I heard you don't have it you know what people are saying out there there's some rumor has it around the school hey don't stab the messenger but I heard I heard you don't have pubic hair

I said it to hurt his feelings You know what I mean? You're the one saying it Devastating. It was Aaron, yeah And me and him got into it Yeah And then I said it to hurt his feelings

And then he threw me down on the ground And was getting ready to punch me But I everybody's like come on man You know, let's not do that He's our leader Interesting doesn't answer the question either Yeah I just he we fought

Listen he we were still friends later on Aaron was the coolest guy in the whole school. Paul, he was by far the coolest guy in the whole school. If we got into it and we just started like get bullet pointing out, you'd be like, holy fucking shit. He went to race car school. Anyways, we're. I wish that was like a lie because that's the thing Chris holds against me all the time that he went to race car school. And I'm just like, yeah, it's stupid to go to yeah, Brian. Yeah, Brian, you were cooler than a guy who went to race car school. I was. By far, this guy goes, but yeah, he goes, I got stabbed in a fight me.

many years ago. I didn't even know I got stabbed, though. I'd want a fist. Thought I'd want a fist fight. I wonder why everyone was trying to get me to sit down all of a sudden. I didn't beat the other dude's ass, but I ended up in the hospital and he ended up in prison. That's a story. Happy endings all around. I know. It's a wonderful story. I feel like, I mean, what would make it so that you didn't know you got stabbed? Is it that if the blade is especially sharp?

I think it's just adrenaline, maybe honestly. That's where that was my first thought. It was like if you want to fight, but I feel like, because I'm, I feel like I would know if I got stuff. But you hear that a lot. You hear that a lot from people that they don't realize their stuff. And you see videos and stuff of people that are like fighting. And you can clearly, they just think they get punched.

Like it feels maybe wet is the, you'll hear people say the first thing that they feel is like wetness where it makes them realize. Did you wet punch me, bro? Yeah. My brother, my brother ran through Mace to fight a guy. Yeah. I've, a guy named Stefan, not our friend, Stefan, but my brother's friend, Stefan, who was a big huge gun guy, actually, a big hunter. and he ran through famously. It was like famous around our area

because the wrecking crew who was like they would go around and beat everyone up like Brian's friends and him. And they would bear maize people all the time and Stefan was huge. Bear Mace! They would bear Mace people.

Yeah, they would pull out bear Mace. All the time they would do this. All the time, Paul. I'm not joking. That's very Canadian. It was a really wild. This was a real wild group of people. They went on to become like legitimate criminals,

like real you know criminals and and so but yeah there's this one story these the two of them bear maced stephen and he ran straight through the cloud of it and i was there like when you see the look on their face when he went through the cloud and he like came at them it was just like two of the most scared individuals i've ever seen because they thought he's well he's well now he's not going to come get us because we sprayed the bear spray and he just killed he just beat the crap it's like a picture the picture from last week the guy the vet coming through the cloud of tear gas with the American flag. My brother was very like,

he didn't put up with a mace at all. It was just like, there was such a useless thing to use on him. He used to practice with it. We had the mailman mace that they give the mailman. Do you know what I'm talking about? What the fuck is gone? Do you know how the mailman gets mace?

No, that's pepper spray. The little pepper spray thing, like the one that you carry, not the big canister. My brother would just spray it and run through it. Yeah. So that he was ready. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that would work. That would work. I think I mentioned before too. Like my old, my brother, because again, compare spray. My brother used it for camping, not for spraying in people's face. But yeah, he sprayed it in the backyard and it came into the house and like just in through the window. And it was like you couldn't breathe in the house from hours afterwards.

It was just so bad. I only got maced one time and it sucked. Yeah. I won't be doing that. This guy goes, gonna be real with you, Broski. Why?

Do you see yourself having to resort to throwing knives? What if they're at the distance where they're gonna be out of rotation and you smack them with the flat part? How many fights do you see yourself getting in? Now this is the part I cut this out for.

If I had to use a throwing weapon, I'm making a throwing spear. There's a video on how to make it for two bucks on YouTube. Wait a second though. In a fight, where is the spear? where are you holding it's in your back thing so you have to like pull it out like a I don't know the logistics of having a $2 spear I think it's in your bunker right

yeah oh so you're you have your weapons and if somebody breaches your defenses and this is in a world where the guns aren't or gun gun powder is gone or something they're imagining or I think it's just they they have a ton of guns but they're like I want other stuff too That's what ammunition is precious. Ammunition, yeah. In this new Cormick McCarthy world, you can't just be wasting bullets on intruders. If you see a weak intruder where you're just like, oh, that's going to be an easy one-point kill kind of intruder. Then you're just going to throw your $2 spear at them.

And then you can go again, as we mentioned before, same with the knife. You can grab it out of his head and dust it off. Unfortunately, it does wipe it off. Unfortunately, this led to kind of an argument. Oh, no. A guy goes, I wouldn't get throwing knives. If I wanted to throw something, I'd get bricks. Bricks are useful.

There's no learning curve. They hurt no matter which way they hit you and they're less expensive. You'll almost certainly do more damage with a brick than with a throwing. That's probably correct. He's right. But then the O.P. responds and this for some reason hurt his feelings. He goes, yeah, but how is a limp-risted little queen like you're going to throw a brick?

Just asking for a friend. That's ad homin. That's unnecessary. Come on. Yeah, come on. Well, then good thing he comes back and says, strength wasn't the issue. It was technique. Fortunately, your wife's boyfriend showed me how.

Now, I would have changed that a little bit to say your wife, he had to make it a man. He's still so misogynistic that he can't say your wife showed me how. It has to be a man that showed him out to do it. So he says your wife's boyfriend. Yeah. I'd rather it be your wife. And then he goes, well, I got a camp knife that's also a. throwing knife don't know what you would throw the weak minded and i don't don't know why that would

throw the weak minded in such connipion fits but here we have it i carry it in a sheath since i don't like folding knives just pull it right out i understand you have a sheath you wear on your waist that contains a brick it's a big one and it can hold your tampons as well oh so he's if i can get to the but he's saying like oh i can hold my throwing knife on a sheet on my person when I'm like because he's imagining I guess he's had to leave his stable like area to go out and hunt potentially for food or fuel or something like that and then so it'll be hard to have a brick or heavy and stuff like that it's harder to carry a brick I've never thrown a brick at somebody in my life so it's very it's very telling though that the guy says uh oh people

are you're gonna have a connipion over a throwing knife and it's like you asked a question he answered it in a very logical way and then you started attacking him like he never said anything bad about you he just said honestly a brick is pretty good yeah he's really idiot oh you all your tampons tell you that i went on uh amazon and i searched badass knives just that was my search terms um some pretty uh impractical knife much like wait much like this one that i found amazon has amazon i've found has the worst products in the world so it has good ones too obviously because it has all of them but it's like the only place you can find the absolute worst version of everything very true this is quite possibly the dumbest knife i've seen

other than there's one a little later on it's a double knife it looks like could it be scissors could you clip hedges with it it looks like they don't scissors is it branded in the the scream movie franchise it is it looks like it it does it does oh my god does it ever on that that was my first thought yeah especially the one on the left it looks like the the the mask exactly it's useless because when you look at it yes you're like oh can you use it like scissors no that's not what it's for those two pieces don't touch it's just a double knife for no reason yeah and i can't think of any reason in the whole I sat yesterday and just thought what what would be the use of this like and I guess some guy here's what I think happens right some guy is like oh you can kill somebody

so much quicker it takes up more surface area that's the only thing I can figure out because it's two puncture wounds I guess so intimidate them around a bone like if you want to stab somebody in the shin yeah yeah that's good yeah yeah like I This knife is $16.99. Okay, yeah. That's when you want to use in a battle for your life. This guy goes cool design and good feel to the finish. This is an excellent looking knife.

I use it as a shelf piece, but it's also extremely sharp. I've cut myself just handling it at least twice. And I've handled a lot of knives and swords without being cut. So it's a knife that cuts you more than the average. knife, this knife is cutting me all the time. He goes, I love the design. I'm actually outside the ER right now giving this review.

Just a word of advice, you're going to want to use the handle. I learn the hard way. This is one of those handle knives. Yeah, this is the kind you don't want to hold by the blade, okay? There's two of them. So a shelf piece is that is truly

we're talking about people who have a collection that they display. So there are some that this just stays up on the wall. I like to look at it. It is not in any way a knife that I use in my practical day to day. So, yes, there are shelf pieces and then there are safe queens. Yeah. Okay, that's why I was saying.

There's ones that you put away as well that you don't display. Those are safe queens. You put them in a safe. Those are better? You never use them. But are they better? Like the ones that you're displaying. They're the most expensive night.

And so you don't even get to look out. you just take them out to look at them every now and then like gollum yeah it's like you're safe and you're like oh that's a nice night i talked on that my dad used to have a safety deposit box with all his best baseball cards though and like really crazy old like you know Nolan ryan rookie card mickey mantel rookie card and we would just go look at them sometimes we just go there and just pull them out and look at the cards we knew everyone that was in there but we would just go look at them Yeah, people are very divided on safe queens because like most people are like, you buy a knife, you use the knife. Yeah, I got to cut some string.

I'm so sorry. Obviously, I know what a safe queen is, but for the audience, maybe you could explain. It's just a knife that you don't use. It's $600. The knife itself is the queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you must protect it by putting it in the safe. I'm just saying, Brian, of course, that's a term that I use daily.

But for the listener, in case they were like, what is it safe queen they i just wanted you to explain it for them so thank i i was dangerously close to owning a safe queen like uh uh i was looking at like seven hundred dollar knives and i was just like i don't know about that and and what ended up happening what ends up saving me is i had this switch blade i played with it so much it broke like within like a month the spring just fucking was like fuck this and it stopped work because i was playing with it constantly is always in my hand but that didn't flip flip i would think that would help you that would have maybe even push you to buy an expensive one or whatever no because i was like it'll break it's like they all break i do have like a knife that's like

this big i don't know where it's at it's really small it's a switchblade i have taken it to so many i've taken it on so many planes i didn't realize i had it and then i got never they never caught it Nobody ever caught it It was in my carry on in My like I carry like a bag with me when I'm around town It was in there and and like one one time I got back from one of my trips and I pulled it out I was like shit that knife has been there for a long time Wow I just yeah it was crazy it's so small

Like you could definitely definitely not kill somebody with it or yeah I don't think you could even hurt somebody with it The day of the truth it's so it's a string cutter which is what I use most of my knives for. You cut you cut string with them? I don't know cutting. String cutter. That was of course. We've established string.

That's the only thing I can think of is string and fruit. So what kind of strings are just kidding you give me an example of a string? I'm not doubting it, but an example of a string you would cut. I got one. Okay. Sometimes. Oh, not sometimes, all the time. I, you know, I wear my shoes, you know, and I tie them insanely tight.

Yeah, too tight. it brought you almost like you damaged your foot uh yeah but that was bullshit i did not break my so anyway i tie my shoelaces too listen that was bullshit my feet are fine i'm sick of this i'm sick of this rumor i am actually that rumor i have both feet to this day well his daughter came on the bonus episode a few weeks ago paula we talked a lot about that about how he you know broke his foot or he thought he broke his foot. I didn't think. He got distracted by a large red van and he fell, stepped in a hole, and then he believed to a break, broke his foot. But anyways, it just turns out his shoes, shoes are on too

tight. That's what we're thinking. Tight sheet. I don't know if the van needed to be part of that. It's a cool van. It was like a really bright red van. I'm sure it was, but it doesn't, it doesn't sound good in the retelling. He got distracted by a van and stepped in a hole. Like, if you had just said he stepped in a hole. I've stepped in holes. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no, buddy, you've never been just distracted by a red van and stepped in a hole. It was really bright red.

It was like a mirror almost red. This guy goes, one of my daughters wanted this knife and a couple others for Christmas. Looks very intimidating, very sharp. Blades have very unique design. I hope she doesn't cut herself with this. That's always a good. Hold on a second. Hold on one second.

We're glossing over something here. Brian, were you about to tell us you had to cut yourself out. out of your shoes one time? Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I tied them too tight and then sometimes I'm lazy.

I just flip them off my foot. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like instead of untying them, I just shoot them off my foot. Absolutely. And then the the lace gets so hard. Like the knot just gets crazy. It's the Gordian knot of old.

And how was that problem solved? Of course, you cut the knot in half. Yeah. I cut it. I had to cut myself. I didn't have to cut myself out of the shoes, but I had to cut myself into the shoes more. Like,

because I, I couldn't cut the thing so he could fit your feet into them because they had tightened so much that your feet could come out, but they couldn't go back in. Yes, that is exactly what happened. It's a pretty normal thing.

And do you have those tiny guys? Do you have those tiny little petite feet that you were trying, that you're working so hard to get? I'm beautiful feet. What's your score? oh somebody told me once i could get 40 bucks for pictures of my feet is what is when you say score paul is that like is there a scoring for feet

wiki feet oh wiki feet oh wait you are you on it i'm not on it uh you never i have a friend who's on it she has a perfect score wow congratulations to your friend she's very proud you've never you've never showed your your feet have never been seen in like a tv show or a movie though or anything like that uh the because I could make because is it user because I could submit you if you could give me the footage

I'll submit you I would bet it's user submitted yeah I'm trying to think if I ever had bear feeding anything I must have happened everybody and listeners if you can if you're you know if you could think

just go watch some of Paul's stuff and see if he could see his feet you got to know his score I uh I didn't see this night this story about out in a guy's in a double-bladed knife. This person goes really handy to use in tight areas, five stars.

That seems like the exact opposite of the truth. It seems, it seems like the only time I could think of this being helpful is like intimidation or whatever is like someone pulls out their single bladed knife in a knife fight or whatever and then you're just like pull out your double blade and they're like, okay, maybe I'll just take a walk actually. This guy does say he gives it five stars and he goes sharp knife, fold the, reasonably small, looks really badass. Don't try to get it through TSA. Well made folding pocket knife. The two blades are an interesting design. Is this tied to some kind of comic book hero or

villain? I'm not into that at all, so I wouldn't know. By the way, I'm not a nerd over here, okay? I like the knives. I'm not the comic. I bought the knife because I thought it was an intriguing piece. Anyway, it looks really dangerous. And in fact, has two really sharp blades back to back. Handle it carefully. I don't think I think I'm going to say that. I'm going to say with every i'm going to say that across the board with knives is that like you get have to assume that the blade is sharp and you should not handle the blade think of it as two knives he goes i don't i honestly handle it carefully i don't think it would ever pass through tsa and that's a good thing pretty nasty weapon not for kids not so that's good and this guy gave

it five stars and he goes locking mechanism isn't quite fit right please read for better intel only a weird knife guy what's it intel you intel yeah he goes what i really mean is if you ever suddenly think hey i'll just loosen the screws to clean the inside for whatever reason boredom whatever don't do it he just he just decided to take apart now that is a crazy thing to do but brian you did recently but you took apart your coffee grinder recently it's in pieces right now have not have not managed to get it going again i'm waiting for a part and that oh sure now had it had it was it malfunctioning in some way or you just said I got to see what's in those guts I bought this goddamn thing and I was grinding my coffee I love this is the beginning to with this beginning to a story I'm in I bought this god damn thing 150 bucks for this thing yeah I get it and a lot of the people he's by the way just for context a lot of people the listeners because he's been talking about it they're like oh I've got this I've got this I've got this I've got this I've got this got this and it's great it works like a charm never had any issues oh no i find it to be a piece of

shit uh so i got it and then i didn't you read the intel i did it actually i did i should have read the directions it says don't let it get backed up yeah that's the thing i forgot to mention yeah and it got backed up so let's let's get i'm realizing right everybody gets really mad at me about this specifically. They say, Chris, don't bring up stuff from other episodes. It's so annoying. Stop it. So now I can just see all the messages flooding into the Instagram that I run.

So when you're saying like, hey, can you tell Chris this? Guess what? You're already telling him. And it hurts a lot. Okay. Whatever. He goes, whatever, don't just do it. Just don't. Once you undo this, there's no going back. I can't seem to get the blades to lock anymore. And yes,

it's due to buyer action. There was nothing wrong with it when I got it. Just leave it alone and use it as is. Ha ha. Just figured I mentioned this among the many reviews so you're informed of this. So don't, hey, don't take your double-bladed knife apart, okay? Good intel. I did buy my first one of my knives at Smoky Mountain Knife works. It's in Sieverville, Tennessee, which is near Gatlinburg. And it is the biggest knife store in the country. Wow. And I went there when I was way into knives. Right. And, uh, was you right? You had other business in the city i'm hoping no well i mean i was there on a vacation that's where i rode the

four-wheeler and got mad at the guy yeah but you you that was the main reason for the trip to go to the knife store no i wish no no no the the the tv was part of it it was just a vacation general vacation yeah general vacation you weren't that into knives that you're like let's take a trip to the biggest knife store in america i did i got a picture of me sitting in the game of thrones chair Of course it's made out of knives It's a big sword chair Of course Of course

If there's furniture made out of blades You have to have it at the biggest knife store Yeah yeah He's a one star review for it Gun store is terrible There's a gun store in there too The manager Carl This is one of the weirdest reviews I've ever read

Like this is a review I have never seen this happen and I read a lot of reviews for this show. Gun store is terrible. The manager Carl cannot figure out how to hire people. Spent a week via email trying to get the correct paperwork after filling out many things I was told nothing was filled out. I'm starting to think they're stealing my information.

I came in to manually do the paperwork and upon arrival I'm told we will not hire you due to being irresponsible. Made no sense and I believe the hiring manager should be looked into. Big waste of time and I hope my sensitive information isn't saved with them. I have never seen somebody trying to figure out what actually happened in the situation. And it's really, I don't know that I can really figure out what actually happened. I think some phone calls happen that he's not talking about. I think he maybe was, I think maybe they, they just weren't hiring or whatever or something.

And they told him and sort of made it clear to him and he wasn't, I, I watch body cam footage. I watch YouTube body cam footage sometimes. and I have seen a couple of these cases where people are like, no, I'm coming here to do that to work. I would like the job. And they're like, but we don't have a job for you.

And they're like, but you know, that's not acceptable. My daughter recently got a job was like working to, was trying to get a job. And she, she was like kind of, uh,

she was like, I can't remember where I was going. I just lost my train of thought talking about my dog. Oh, yeah. She was like, I was going to, That's a great catch because that would have been the first time ever. Seriously, you're amazing in that.

I don't think you've ever lost your train of thought. She goes, I bought, I saw some bad, I was going to get a job at this place and they had some bad reviews. Now, when she sent me the reviews, there were 13 reviews. And I was like, I will say, maybe this is the shittiest place in the world to work. I'm not saying it's not shitty. I'm saying that only the most psycho people do a review of the job they just. left. I've never left a review

after I quit a job. And the only way I could think I would do it is if I like had just one of those things where you're so blindingly angry that you're just like, oh, I'm fucking where can I go work? And I say something. I'll show Suzanne who the fucking idiot is. You know, like yeah, it's definitely something like it's like vindictive shit. It does feel like that would be one of the main reasons to leave that kind of review. Yeah, that sounds more like a review you'd leave if you get fired rather than if you quit.

Because if you quit and you're leaving a bad review, it's like, guys, under no circumstances should you go work here. This place is bad news. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, I don't know if it's really bad. I do know that it only had 13 reviews. And I think when I pointed out that, listen, this place only has 13 reviews, this could, and they're not all bad. So I'm positive that the bad ones are somebody with it.

an axe to grind. Now, I have never seen somebody go to the actual Google review of a place that they applied for a job at and got turned down and then write a bad review of a place. That's not even helpful information, and which most reviews aren't. I believe that that is meant to. He's hoping that that gets back to the people who have been giving him a hard time. Right. He just wants to hire him. Yeah, exactly. I call me like your go-game. You know, in the movies when it's just like, you know what? Like, I actually like the cut of this guy's gym at the end of the day.

You passed my test. Yeah, you passed my test. I don't want somebody who's just going to walk away after I tell them, no, you don't have this job. Yeah, I called them and told him, you got to give this guy his job. He really wants to work in your gun store. Hiring the craziest, most aggressive guy ever be like, you pass my test. It's also like the idea that, okay, we may not do background checks on customers, but we do do them on people that are trying to work here.

Yeah. Well, oh, I want to work at the gun and knife store and I'm also very angry. Oh, yeah. I forgot it to gun. I forgot it to weapon store. Yeah. Nothing but. Can you hire me?

I'm very mad all of the time. This person gave it one star and goes, we came here. few years ago and had a great time. Great service and great variety. I had a great time. A great time at the gun store. We were there all day. Knives everywhere.

There's just room after room of knives. That's what it is too. Let's go to the, let's go get some food and we'll come back in the afternoon. They do have a barbecue place. It was our honeymoon. They do have a barbecue place there. And a few people said, like, they were like,

we couldn't even swallow this meat. It was so dry. And I was like, use your knife and cut it into smaller pieces. You just, it's a knife story. dude that's how they try to sell knives the barbecue they're like uh just just make the meat huge

he goes by forks only these guys drive me nuts too so this is a this is a guy that like guys that do tests at the story goes my father and I came in a day and we were there for four hours and did not have a single attendant attempt to help us at the counter I bought two knives off of

that's crazy that's a crazy I think they're lying about the amount of time because if you see people in the story I was lying a little bit but still it sounds like it was a long time and like that's crazy to wait for longer than five minutes without going and just finding somebody or like you you deserve that if you're going to stand around for four hours you just get so I know the impulse of like I'm so mad oh let's fucking wait and see how long it takes we'll just wait here and see how long it's yeah but that I think that I think that even in that circumstance there's like got to be a point where you're You're like, you know, the feature-length film or whatever.

Like, the time has played now that you're just like, okay, I think the point is like, I've won whatever point I'm trying to make, right? Like, go ask somebody. What's wrong with you? Like, I'm for a treat tell. Like, just go around the corner. Maybe there's a guy there. And a lot of people don't want to be bothered. In fact, most people don't want to be bothered while they're shopping.

So I don't think that it's like, you know, that the employees are going up to everyone. And would you like some? Because then they got the people like, yeah, I'm fucking fine, okay? I don't need to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. No, I know all about knives and guns. Thank you.

I bought two knives off the wreck and didn't get the opportunity to buy the five others and the acts that I would have out of the cases because of lack of service. The gun counterattentant was the only one to interact with either of us in four hours. We were there coming for a 23-year-old. It's the same generation that most of the workers were. These people need some serious customer service training. to be culled from the crew oh god

and i have some suggestions on how to call yeah yeah i i just keep saying four hours i just can't about that is such an incredible it's a big store i will say that but it's still like a lot of time for even the size of because you spend four hours at an amusement park it doesn't seem weird i think even four hours like i'm just thinking at like the mall for example i'll go with char i mentioned a lot of with charlie i'll go we'll go to the mall

Metro Town Mall and it's a huge mall And it has all kinds of different stores and stuff like that But I cannot fill up two hours there Like you know and that's with eating food And like going to a playground and here's the thing If you're spending four hours at a place that you voluntarily went to You're having a good time So be quiet

Yeah What do you get you're waiting about? You had a great time I also love the guys like And I was going to buy five knives and two axes So I guess you missed out on those sales That's the guy at the counter

Dumb Dumb. Yeah, yeah The guy at the counter I'll give you the axes and the knives to sure. He's got access to the intercom. He'll find somebody to go get the knives to the axe. Finally, this person gave it one star and goes, I wish this was

a lie, but today I went in the store and my friend stepped in a pile of feces in the middle of the store floor, a pile. Once again, I wish I could say this is a joke, but sadly it's not. The store, is amazing though and that's a beautiful crystal section it's a little bit of poop on the floor

I mean I I I've I had that happen well registered at knife and gun store if you're coming to our wedding I have been I have been in a store recently where there was a huge pile of shit it was a pet pet store though so I feel like that's more normal it's like but I wonder this probably was somebody's like animal or service animal or something like that probably they must have some old dog at that place i could see that

happening guy like me i just go in there and poop all over the floor when i get mad at them if the store is that big you probably can get away with it yeah they they wouldn't listen i waited four hours for somebody to tell me where the bathroom was and they did not so i just took a crap i assume this is what you want me to do here's another knife that came up when i searched badass knife this one is they're famous because they have the little ring loop on them

oh sure because they're for combat and this is the snake eyes brand knife which I believe snake eye tactical I believe this is a GI Joe situation here like I think that's what they're going for this one does seem like the kind of thing you'd like filet somebody you know like I've seen it in action movies

and stuff and it does to me as like a you know a non-knife person this one does seem like a scary knife to me. Not to me. It's really short. I'd love to see. It is small. I would fucking love to see somebody attack me with this knife. Okay. Is that something you want on a recording? Fucking try it. Come at me with a knife. Brian also famously walks around his city and everyone knows where he walks all the time. So he also said his address as well. I've never said by address. No, that's not true. You registered your address when you made the. Different address now,

violence gang LLC I moved yeah so this guy goes one star does not stay closed my girlfriend wanted a that's a problem yeah this is a huge problem hey man I'll grant you that that is a problem this guy and this is such a weird first sentence because of the knife we looked at right my girlfriend wanted a knife to keep on her for personal protection seems like not the best knife for that job unless you like really don't like yeah it just a knife in general doesn't seem good for personal protection i feel like it's something that would be as we found out earlier it's really hard to stab someone i feel like she's you to give a girlfriend a brick that's right and that's my wife carries a brick around she normally keeps it in her bag every time she reaches in to grab anything

from her bag the knife is open she stabbed herself multiple times trying to grab a wallet or keys from her bag she no longer carries it so is a complete waste good thing it was only a few bucks you get what you pay for is it sharp yes is it cool looking yes is it at all safe to carry not at all the locking mechanism to keep it closes non-existent don't bother carrying this unless you invest in a holster or sheath for it i would never buy uh we've this i would just never like the people who are buying these 17 dollar knives or whatever it just feels like something like that like a wallet or a knife or something is really cheap that you're just like oh it's gonna be bad it's gonna break if it has any mechanism on it

whatsoever and it's so cheap this motherfucker he said wallet to attack me passive aggressively is what happened there it was just another example i thought of that yeah that's no it was another example of something i did that you are goofing on a cheap wallet that hurt you it didn't hurt me just broke it just broke it just broke it's like that way we had the discussion about it where it's like it's okay if there's no mechanism but as soon as there's any sort of mechanism like something that has to work or do something they're like a boxing glove on a spring no this is a crazy thing about it did have some weird shit like that like a pop-out thing where your cards would shoot out they shot up so that's why you can't you can't be cheeping out on stuff like that because

then you they will break you can cheap out on just a wall press a button and your most important cards pop right up out of the thing yeah but only for a short amount of time believe believe me this was like a really short amount of time this went on how how thick of a wallet was this oh paul oh paul don't even get into the thickness it was the size it was the size of the ps3 it was the biggest wallet it is three i swear to you though you don't even understand the people who listen the chris haters the chris haters are going to kill me this episode they're going to kill me i'm sorry i keep dredging up old no it's not you it's brian did i did that on by accident that time. No, he did it on purpose. He brings up, oh, don't buy a cheap wallet because I bought a

$40 wallet with a button on it. Like, that's some crazy thing a guy would do. This guy goes, one star, don't buy if you value your fingers. I didn't notice it when purchasing it. You can see it in a picture. The blade goes through the hole. That seems like such a bad design. That's really bad. There's a hole you put your finger in. The blade should not go through that hole. No. No. Oh, you mean, oh, what you don't like the finger guillotine on our design? Oh, okay. Guess what would happen if the blade comes back when you're using it? Like in a stressed situation when you're reacting fast and you cannot get it fully properly open and verify it's all set.

Then put your finger in? Long story short, this is made for when you have time to prepare yourself and check that everything is set on the place to use it while lose, use it while losing focus on the rest of the world around you. unnecessary dangerous design so this guy really did buy a $16 knife as a weapon yeah of fighting yeah and he found out like you're gonna really yeah you're gonna have to really focus on this thing you're gonna wanna you're gonna you're gonna wanna be the guy that's attacking the guy not the guy being attacked is kind of what he's yeah so it's for a casual knife fight no it's not for any sort of person who's gonna be yeah having to defend themselves

if you buy this knife you're gonna have to be the aggressor if you you see somebody sort of even just sort of making a wrong move or whatever and you feel like they might reach for something you got to go it's and i bought i i would buy an attacker knife i mean because you do want to be the attacker in most cases of the two things i guess that's what i prefer that's true but i feel like i i i fit more into the defender category because i don't believe in all you know we goof around a lot but i don't think i could see myself attacking somebody with a knife and I have I won't tell the story because it's a long story but I have been chased with a knife before somebody chasing me with a large like a rambo style knife you know who I guess was

I'm going to do it to him at our live show I guess was trying to kill me I'll never know I never like had that you know but so I have been on that end of it I had nothing on me so I had to run I mean who knows if I had my own maybe I square off with them and we see who's got you know better moves is going to do stand-up comedy before our live show. What I'm going to do is in the middle of a set run out and chase him with a knife. And I think that could be a really good. That's like that UFC trainer.

He did that. He was like a crazy guy who did this holistic. Yeah. Diego Sanchez was like a legendary UFC fighter. And this Josh something took over his career and became his only trainer. And he was like some holistic healer who had no background in martial arts. and he, like, was a cult kind of dude. And one of his training things, there's this video of him training the fighters

and the training is he's chasing them around the octagon with a knife. This guy goes, one star is gracious. I admit this knife kind of has a, I admit this knife has kind of a cool factor. But the fact that it won't stay closed and comes open in your pocket with consistency, consistency at totally random, completely blows the kind of cool factor off the map. so yeah nothing cool about yeah asking for the medical help or what yeah like you've sliced yourself again i mean listen that's the number one thing with a folding knife i feel like you've got to stay close you would rather it not stabbed you would rather it not come open in your

pocket now if you're a thrill seeker perfect knife for you sure because you never know what's going to happen when you reach into your yeah because you can't be out you can't be out rock climbing all the time. If you want to keep that adrenaline going all the time. Can you just constantly have a weapon that can malfunction on you? Just have an open knife in one of your pockets and mix it up. I wonder if this was a knife that was built for another purpose like cigar cutting and then how well butrin helps you quit smoking. Yeah. Yeah. I do believe that this is. Yeah. I do believe that this is It's a $16 knife. So it is a shelf piece.

But it's so weird to put it on yourself. And if you go on Amazon and you search badass knife, one of the ones is just a fucking Batman knife from like, and it's like a bat. It's the actual bat insignia from the Christopher Nolan movies. Right. And knives come out of both sides of it. So it's like a batarang kind of?

Is that what they're going for? Yeah. Yeah. but it is it it but it's actually a weird bat knife it really is like I'll I'll get it up here on the screen for you because I look at it and I just was like some of the reviews I was reading was like

oh this this is real I thought this knife was stupid but uh until I met the Joker it turns out I'm carrying it everywhere with me now but the knife is so stupid. It's like it would be embarrassing to bring the Batman knife out of your pocket.

This yeah, it does look really stupid for sure. It almost looks like, I mean, it just looks like a throwing. I mean, he has those things that he throws, doesn't he? Throwing knives. Yeah, but they're like they're little bats, right? They're like little bats. Yeah. Oh, that's what that's what

that is. That's what that is for. Okay, I didn't he should get some bat of spears. You go on YouTube, make a $2 spear. Why doesn't Batman have a spear? I'll write the next Batman and he will have several spears. He spends all this money on these gadgets. Just have a spear, dude. And make your own cough syrup Batman.

If you had homemade cough syrup to give to people, I think people would like you a little bit more. And finally on Quora, this guy goes, what is some true advice on knife versus knife combat? Pentee's dual. That duel. Like, I'm in a duel, okay? One, there's no such thing as a knife fight, at least not like you see in the movies. Two people never square off with knives unless they're stupid kids acting out what they see in the movies. There are certainly places in the world, like many areas in Southeast Asia.

Now, when you hear that, you know that this guy has never been there. This is exclusively Soldier of Fortune magazine. Yeah. I think knife fights do happen. and I think I've seen some of them before. I would argue with this person. I think that a place is like in Brazil, I feel like they're, there are knife. No, I haven't.

But I've only seen videos, but I've seen videos. I've seen videos of it. I know, Chris, but I've seen six or seven videos of it before, at least in my life. Okay. He goes, where you might be attacked by someone with a knife and the only tool you might have to defend yourself as a knife, but it's going to be over in seconds and there won't be any posturing. you keep your knife hidden and wait for the thug to attack at the last possible moment you pivot to the side see this guy said there's no shit thing as a knife fight now he's like but if you're in a knife fight this is what you're gonna have to try and this is like nothing you've seen in the movies yeah no no at the last possible moment you pivot to the side and stick your blade in a soft part of your enemy then you drag it to the side making the biggest gouge you possibly can and leap away this is like a movie leap away

Number two. Summon your helicopter. The rope ladder comes down. Number two, everyone leaks in a knife fight. My C-Lot teacher used to say, if you're going to play with knives, you better learn to get cut. That's a bad advice. I mean, I guess I understand it. You know what I mean?

But he goes, I have very well-heeled scars on my hands, arms, and lower back. The secret is when you don't stop when you get cut, you don't panic when you get cut. when you get cut you dig in and keep fighting early last year i inadvertently cut a finger to the bone i needed the assistance of a young man who was working for me to bandage it when he saw the depth of the wound he almost puked i was ho-hum been there done that bandaged myself and others i don't know who else he banded and why has he why has he been in so many knife fights it sounds like he's been in like so many knife fights and I think that's bad advice I think in some circumstances if you get stabbed in a knife fight you should stop and seek medical attention like depending on where you got stabbed not even

not even in a fight he just cut his finger to the butt yeah that's a different situation I think he's saying recently but he's saying that early earlier in his life he was a knife fighter I think he did he did say he had a number of scars and I was not sure if he gave them to himself to to to sort of uh get used to being stabbed I read it as him that he that he had been in a lot of knife fights and he got those scars from like because where did he say they were he had them on his arms all over his hand hands arms I think I read it yeah as he's cutting him like not cutting himself in a cutting like a bat but as in like I need to build some scar tissue here yeah so that when I get cut it doesn't like guys that walk around without shoes on all the time so you guys think he was never in one single knife fight he just has like you think that so this is interesting yeah so he just the things he's saying he cut himself up in preparation for a knife fight that never came or on accident this guy goes number three never telegraph to your enemy that you have a knife the first time he should realize

that you have a knife is when he feels it slashing into him learn how to hide your knife in your hand learn how to deploy the blade of folding knife quickly and efficiently a ballet song is slower to open than a top flight flipper but when the blade clicks into space into place the knife is positioned properly in your hand with a standard folding knife you have to reposition the knife for it to be useful practice deploying your knife stealthfully and I have to say this I did kind of practice like you know oh if I got to hide that I mean why not right I never cut myself but I had a switchblade yeah and I know that sometimes when I was alone or when I was out walking around I'd be like see how fast I can pull it out and get it going you know what I

mean just get it going and then for stabbing is only half the technique stabbed deeply into a soft part like the neck or the abdomen then pull the blade through the body people have survived being stabbed more than a dozen times you might theoretically survive being eviscerated but it's unlikely and you're sure not going to be in any condition to be aggressive so make sure when he says people have survived being stabbed more than a dozen times does he mean all people throughout history

or is he saying or is he saying that there's a record of someone who's been stabbed more than 12 times and has come through it fine. I think there's a record. Yeah, there's a record of people being stabbed a bunch of times and surviving definitely.

It just obviously depends on where you get stabbed. They just stop counting after a dozen. Yeah, it doesn't. Well, and I believe it happens. Like, listen, you watch like a prison movie sure when they're stabbing, people with this ship they'll like do it a whole bunch of times yeah yeah i think that's what he's very likely that's what he's talking about or something he saw in a movie where somebody got

you know doing a bunch of karate or whatever and you're moving fast yeah yeah uh five knives are great for breaking someone's grip on you if someone grabs your right hand you can force them release by flipping out the blade and rolling your forearm around your enemies when your edge presses against his forearm push down and with all you've got he'll jerk away which can't assist your and finally six always have a knife be able to deploy it quickly your life may depend on it so he started by saying like there's no such thing as a knife fight guys and then at the end he was like always have a knife and know all the tactics that you could possibly ever need to practice practice practice stab yourself as well because you're going to get stabbed so you want to

stab yourself a number of times so you know what it's like to get stabbed and your body's ready for it. I would also swallow some knives. I would put a knife on my shoe just to see how that feels. I really wish I would have kept this. We're done here. Chris, there was a guy that was insanely

mad at Reacher for the way that he knife fights. Oh, we did a series Reach a Roundtable where we talked about Reacher. Reach around table. Oh, yeah, we didn't realize the name until we only wrote it down and we only realized after it was really embarrassing for us. Absolutely.

But, but yeah, the, so that's, that's really, that hits close to home for us. We love Jack Reacher. We love him. So what is so mad?

Oh, you know, you know, Reacher, he pulls out a knife and it's the wrong kind of knife. Like, oh, Richard doesn't matter.

Reacher will use whatever knife he needs to use and he'll get the job done. He's a living monster. Yeah. He can have a butter knife. It's fine. Exactly. Give him a good.

Thank you, Paul. I appreciate. that. I appreciate that you respect the Jack Reacher and not, you know, whatever his name is, his brother. Chris, it was actually, it was one of us, so you can go to subredits and search by most controversial. Yeah.

And that was where I found the guy being like, this fucking Reacher. He thinks he's so tough. He didn't even know how to use his knife. The lead people were in there defending Reacher, I hope, in the replies, right? Well, they were saying it's a TV show. Oh, okay. They were saying, sir, it's a

television show. That was noted a number of times. Oh, okay. Reacher's not a real person. Oh, okay. So not the argument I would have used, but still. Yeah. All right.

That is Knife Guy. Wow. Paul, do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah, I just want to let people know that I have a live variety show that I do called Vryatopia. I do it every other month here in Los Angeles and we're going to be on the road again next month finishing out our tour in October will be in Louisville

Kentucky, Overland Park, Kansas, Charleston, South Carolina, and St. Louis, Missouri. You can go to varietopia.com for tickets. And, oh, and podcasts I do called The Neighborhood Listen, we'll be returning for a ninth season on

October 7th. So we're recording that now and having a good time and check it out wherever you get your podcasts. This comes out around then, too. There you go. Thank you so much for doing this, Paul. This is an absolute pleasure. Thanks so much for having me, guys.

We'll see you all next week with something weird. Goodbye. Right.