Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 147 - Gym Guys with Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

This week we bring one of our best pals, Jon Gabrus in to talk about Gym Guys. It, of course devolved into gross stuff as it does when we have a good pal in. What is the lunk alarm? Do your supplements have deer antler in them? Get more Jon at Action Boyz and buy the insanely cool Complete Gino Lombardo Show There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I'm Brian. Rar. Chris is here. That's what guys did the gym say. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. I heard about it.

I went to the gym. Listen, I'm going to sound really gym guy. Oh, I went to Planet Fitness and they hit the lunk alarm on me and now I'm kicked out for good. Is that a thing, John, a lunk alarm? It is a thing, I think, from the commercials. I don't know. The gym guys I surround myself with, they would call Planet Fitness a globo gym, and you would want to skip it. Oh, I see.

It would be kind of like a bolero or whatever. If you're a bowler, it would be. Yes, exactly. You don't want to go to a globo gym. You want to go to a fucking gritty garage where you're banging weights with the boys, clanging iron. And, you know, Henry Rollins' poems printed up on the wall, you know. Now, that's funny. That's what I used to.

When I was, we would joke around about it when I was younger. Now, this is going to shock some people because if you've seen photos of me, you've seen my build. But I'm not a big gym guy, but we would joke. You've been described as anemic. Yeah, I've been, I've been. And a pussy. People have been calling him a pussy for years.

That's not the feedback I've been getting. A lot of people sort of ask me, you know, what's my routine? What's my regiment? But we used to, that what we would always say is, you know, we'd see some, hey, where do you bend bar, brother? Like that would be like, that's a real kind of gym guy. Now, Brian, what was the thing you said? Lunk alarm?

Yeah, okay. Okay, so that's at the planet fitness. That's specifically a planet fitness for people who are clanging and banging. Yes, if you grunt too hard, they can hit the lung alarm and kick you out of there. If they think you're putting on a show is the way it was described to me as, or not personally described to me, but as I read, they're in there. putting on a show they don't want you doing that so they don't want specifics for grunting or it's just for anybody dropping the weight got you know they drop the weight yeah yeah yeah anything that's sort

of like just getting any any person that's like getting kicked out of the gym basically for any reason the thing i've learned the thing i've learned over the past three days of prepping this episode is that like i thought getting kicked out of the gym was primarily perverts like that was i just figured most of the people get kicked out of a gym are perverts. And what I ended up learning is most of the people get kicked out of the gym for being annoying and gross. It's nastier than that. It's like like like I mean you you immerse yourself in you know so much disgusting content

all the time that I think maybe your brain might go there. I found them very disgusting. And listen, look, I've been to the gym. I once showered at a gym one time. I showered at a gym. Yeah. Did you exercise there or did you just run in just to take a quick shower? I was exercising there at the time in my own poor way.

I hired a. In your own what? In my own poor way. I hired a trainer. This is years ago. I hired a trainer at L.A. Fitness. Ooh, yeah. And he was like 21.

And like he would be like, hey, go ahead and do this 25 times. And then the whole time he'd be like, yeah, I'm going to start a business soon. I got to hold these business ideas. And he would just tell me about his business ideas. And then I made the mistake because you're like trying to get to know the guy in some way. So now you're out 40 grand as an investor and this guy's fucking like, you're handing out suppliers for them. And I'm like, I'm feeling a tinge of like less shame than I usually do.

And I'm like, I'm a podcaster. Oh, you too. So this was not, this was recent enough that you're, yeah, right, like 20, 22. It would have been right before we started guys, like the year before we started guys. And I was like, he was talking about his business. And then he started saying, like, you should hear some of the stuff me and my friends say. Oh, no. Like when he found out about the podcast.

And it just like, he was never paying attention to my form. And he was sort of never really. By the way, that is the one. job you want from your fucking trainer is to keep an eye on your form and help you with that. But that's so funny. That's not what he was up to. He was more up to looking at his phone and explaining to be some podcast ideas he has. I was like, I don't even, I don't have like a fucking, about the king of podcast.

Like, I don't even, anybody can do a podcast. It's not, like, I'm not going to get you in anywhere. You know what I mean? No, but he's smart. He's networking. He has that brain where he's thinking, you've had an established podcast. he gets in with you, comes on for some guest appearances. All of a sudden they're like, hey, I kind of like this guy.

You know, does he have anything going on? And then all of a sudden they check out his gym marketing podcast. He was so like this guy, I don't think he really knew how to do training. I personally think they just hire whoever to do that. You know what I mean? I don't think there's a big barrier. Like you can just be certified in ASC and in America. and they'll just like, you can get hired at most of those globo gyms.

It's truly like a salesman job more than it's an actual personal trainer job. As someone who's had assorted coaches and trainers over the years, as I've been in and out of every fitness trend that exists. Those guys are like practically, you know, like AT&T kiosk employees. Like they are like just a different color polo from a fucking like cut co knife salesman. How do you get certified? How do you, how does that happen? Is that anything that requires?

I guarantee it's, I get based on the people I know who've gotten certified. I don't think it's an elite barrier to prevent you from getting. I don't think it's Navy SEALs. I think it's a little more in the National Guard department. Yeah. Oh, this guy, I don't believe this guy knew how to do anything. Because like you go in there and you're like, I kind of don't know how to eat either. And he just told me, of course he told me this.

I eat too many vegetables, which is crazy because I only eat French fries, basically. My whole life is... And no personal trainer should tell anyone they eat too many vegetables. No, you did... Wait, why did he... What do you mean?

Well, he said more meat. Oh, he just said more meat. Like, did you tell him... I thought I wanted to be big. Gotcha. So he just said more... Are you sure he said less vegetables? Because like... He just said like...

That's a great misinterpretation. Like, as like, Brian who we know has like the... The app... like the palette of a 10 year old. Like, less veggies, you got it. I can't wait to tell my mom. We said, it's just a waste of time. You know what I mean?

A waste of time. He's just kind of like it's a waste. This guy's got 20 fucking dead. He's got bodies in his past. He's got 20 dead clients. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, it's just a waste. They don't really do anything.

You got to eat more. And then he's like, eat more meat. And then also take the protein powder. And then that's when I took it and I got all the farts. And I was like, I'm done working out for another. four years. Because I hate farting so much and it made me fart.

And I was like, I'm just done for now. Well, you can exercise without eating protein, if you want. Like, you can, yeah, you can. I'm running now. And you also can get protein from other places other than the protein powder as well. Like the meat, the aforementioned meat has a lot of that protein as well. But I just, I'm doing the math on that. And that was 2022.

You said four years. That sounds like you're about to get back into. I'm running. That's crazy. That's nuts. I'm running now. I want to. You're kind of famously a walker.

And now you're telling me you're speeding things up a little. That's kind of fucking interesting. I mean, under the umbrella of you hosting the podcast, I guess we can pretend it's interesting that you've gone from walking and running. Gamers, it's interesting. I think it's definitely interesting. Based on the shit, your listeners are interested in,

I can guarantee they like this stupid. It speaks more sense than a challenge goal. He's been walking for an awful long time. I know. He's got golf tan because he walks so much. I've never heard of him running before. I've never seen him running before. To be honest,

I've never even pictured him running before. I'm trying to. Yeah. I do it. I do it. Not a 12 minute mile. Make fun of it. I don't care.

That's great. That's great. Yeah, there's nothing to make fun of anybody who's running for a mile. There's nothing to make fun of. We're not in competitions here. It's just like the idea is to get exercise. Just 12 minute mile. But anyway.

You bought $500 running shorts, right? That you're like, I am being good. I bought shoes. I bought running shoes because I thought they were fucking. Yeah. I went and bought a pair of on clouds. It's starting to make sense now.

I went to the running store. He needed to justify this purchase of running shoes that he really wanted to me. I better pick up running. I spent way too much money on these shoes. What ended up happening was I bought the running shoes and I was like, oh, but now I want another pair of shoes. So I just bought another pair of shoes. And like when my wife was like, why you need a second pair of shoes for running? And I was like, well, I can't walk in a running shoes.

I definitely think you can. No. I've never seen walking shoes like shoes labeled as these are for walking. Keep it under a certain speed. This guy. They blow off. This guy at R slash fitness says, Help me win an argument.

I'm trying to win an argument against a friend. He has the verdict that the gym is purely for aesthetics and has no practical implications. What? Well, I'm defending the point that depending on what you want to train. Get depends on what you want to train. Give me some solid points in my favor with examples would be preferable. I seriously want him to consider joining in the gym.

Now, going to think, like, his friend's an idiot. And I'm going to tell you right now, these guys, his friend's an idiot. Like I'll explain it. So the first guy goes, I'm confused by this. Does he not think that lifting weights builds strength? Is being strong not a practical benefit? What about improving cardio to help with endurance if you're hiking? So then the OP replies, he goes, he thinks it does, but believes there are better ways. Also, he thinks that since dumbbells are regular shaped as compared to many real life objects, so lifting real life heavy weights, it's harder like bags of rice so he's just like he's like um he's just kind of lifting things

around in his everyday life so he's like why would i be going to a gym and paying money to do this well i have heard this argument you know hey i'm always lifting stuff up anyways why am i paying to do this now i understand that from like the most blue-collar human being you've ever met i lift fuck i lift fucking hay bales all day long i'm not going to go to the gym and do like uh you know bench press at the end of the day. But this is this is an insane fucking angle. And I love that this guy's like, how do I tell him what it does? It's like, how do you can't just articulate this to the guy?

Also, the gyms nowadays have sandbags and shit and kettlebells in them and other unusual kinds of ways. There you go. That's a good argument you could use. It sounds like that could actually sway his friend. But I think his friend is like from other pose, I think his friend is really against standard things. You know what I mean?

Like a standard shape is that's what bothers them more than anything is that these things are a standard shape when really a bag of ice is all sorts of shapes if you think about it. And that's my argument. And that's more helpful.

Yeah. This guy goes, your friend's a full blown clown unfortunately. I would quote the great Mark Ripito, a strength coach that's kind of famous. Stronger people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.

And under a blanket statement, you're kind of right. Like, you know, I guess stronger people can be more useful than we, if the weak people aren't like scientists, I guess. Yeah, it depends on the scenario, of course, like what you need done. But like in a lot of scenarios,

yeah, it's very helpful to be stronger than weaker. I mean, one of the things we learned on the Knife Guys episode is it's hard to kill a guy by staff. having on my review's regular now imagine if he's muscular how hard how much hard because they're like oh you don't know how hard it it takes a lot of strength to stab a guy to death it's like i'll bet it takes ten times more strength on a strong guy oh i mean i think that's i mean that's a big guy is harder to kill with a knife you're going to need a chisel you're going to need a hammer you're going to put the

knife on him and hit him with a hammer you're thinking of him as kind of a rock like guy like I'm wondering how hard you think muscles are. I don't know. Again, I'm trying for cardio. I'm a cardio guy. Yeah, that's obvious. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm trying for.

I'm not trying to be big and strong. It's safe to say that that place on the podcast is already it's already occupied. You know, we don't need a second big strong guy on the podcast because then it gets like weird. It's like, holy shit, these guys. I'm the alpha. I mean, I'm the captain now.

Movie. By the way, showing this podcast to any like real man and being like, look at these three people arguing who's the alpha, they would just fucking drone strike our houses. Yeah. This guy goes, he has to. This guy go, ask him where he thinks professional athletes train. And he goes, I did. He's of the opinion that they aren't fit either. Because in his eyes, you're only fit if you're well-rounded overall.

He thinks that unless you're directly involved in some sort of sparring sport, you're not fit. As this is, that is the only sport that targets every muscle for a practical situation. I know it sounds absurd. Trust me, when I say I've tried to reason with him. So his friend also thinks that like his friend sounds like his friend is like also every single combat sports athlete. Every single one lifts weights. Yeah. Well, and then later on.

Shrink it down. We're saying lifting weights. but another way to develop muscle is just the phrase resistance training, which could be push-ups, squats, you know, heavy carries, things that aren't fully weights. Now, he thinks that all his favorite combat sports athletes and all these guys who have fucking six-backs and shit aren't lifting weights. No, they just fight. Yeah, they don't.

They go. They fight. You can't just spar for exercise. You will have CTE. Like, you have to get it. I will tell you that later. later on in the thread and I did not cut this later on in a thread a guy says like why would football players lift weights and stuff then he was like well football players aren't that

tough they all they do is football like they're only strong in football ways and I'm like okay dude oh I get I've I've I've turned myself into a well oiled machine but only for football yeah no none of those guys could like run a race pretty fast or fucking like jump far or jump high or probably most of these elite level athletes by the way if you just like put a fucking lacrosse stick in their hand or whatever I'd be like this how you play lacrosse. They just pick it up and the reason they don't play lacrosse is because you can make millions playing football. Yeah.

I do see those sometimes I'm like watching the football players play on TV and I'm just like, well you guys are like big and strong in football terms but I can sort of, you guys seem like I could beat the shit out of you honestly. You don't seem like tough. You don't seem like tough. guys, right? You got to go up against like a six foot three, two hundred ninety seven pound lean

defensive end in combat. Take your helmet off. Take your helmet off. And fucking throw down, like throw hands with me with the helmet off and then we'll see who like the real man is. Like, you know, when you don't have your little football pads on, we'll see who the real man is. What a crazy opinion.

Yeah, this person, I sort of feel like maybe this friend might be doing like a long, running joke on his friend. I think this friend's a stupid idiot because this is the type of thing I would sit and talk about. He was like molested by a personal trainer or something like that. He's got some like dark fucking thing against it where he's like it's actually bad for you because he or like his pants fell down while he was deadlifting and everyone laughed at him or something. Now that I had happened. He feels. Nobody's ever seen my penis. Sorry? I said nobody's ever seen my penis. No one nobody? You have a child. Well, my child's never seen my penis. That's not what I meant. What's wrong with you? I was a little confused too.

I know. I was like, I do remember seeing my dad's penis. I didn't know that was part of it, but I know you have a daughter. So I was like, I think it has to be a little different that way. I saw my dad's penis too. I always wonder how big it was.

Because I saw it when I was a kid. Yeah, I saw my dad's penis at one point when I was. But now I'm like, Was it really big or was it small? It seemed big, right? Yeah. You don't see it after you're like 13. Yeah, because that's true.

Think about it. It's like I remember I went to my like my elementary school seems super big as well when I was little. And then I went back there when I was older and I was like, this is actually super small. Dad, your penis is not as at all as impressive as it was when I was six. And my dad was six, five. So I don't know if it like was big or not. You know, I have no idea. But based on, like, genetics, I would say it was a thing.

Well, that's the way I think, too. I haven't seen my maternal grandfather's hog, but I don't know if it's the same thing as hairlines. Oh, I could have seen my grandpas because my, when he died, my parents were like cleaning out of stuff and he had some pretty racy pictures of him and his wife. I thought you were going to say when he died, he was buried naked for something. Yeah, that's why I went as well. Oh, yeah.

So we could jerk him off real quick. quick before you went. His last wish was to be jerked off. But only the bottom is open. The top is closed. Just his dick and legs are visible for everybody. This man loved his penis. I really pictured that as well.

He was a bit of a hippie. He was a bit of a hippie. Well, I said this before. I should, well, fuck it. My dad never will listen. I did in his room one time. I found a pair of underwear with a tassel on the, front of them.

Like the thing you have on your cap and gown when you graduate from high school, it had one of those on the front. And I'm like, is he fucking swinging that thing around it, dad? Like, what's going on? That's 100% one. That's a sane sex toy to own if you're a guy. You know what I mean? There's got to be a better sex toy.

No, that feels like someone you buy, you buy that for someone as a joke. I hope so. You know what I mean? I would say this would be an episode to not recommend any family members of yours to listen to. Hi, dad, I talked about your penis several times, and I believe it's probably small. This is what's great about my dad being dead. I could talk about this.

Me too. My dad passed away as well. Yeah, yeah. So let's, yeah. I found a drawer full of pocket pussies, like a dozen of them. I think they were just like a funny gift someone got it. Yeah. When you see it find a whole like, it's one of them is like, oh, I guess my dad's talking

a pocket pussy, but if you find a whole bag of them, he's out of it. He's either like really, really into them or it's like just a good. Honestly, if I find a pocket pussy when my dad dies, I'm going to smell it and see if he used it or not. Oh, God. That's the smell of my dad's cum. That's absolutely come that smell. This is a horrifying, horrifying episode.

I went to R slash Planet Fitness members. This guy goes, well, it took 15 years, but finally had something stolen. I've been going to Planet Fitness for 15 years and never once used a lock on my locker. Never had a single issue. Lately, though, I've noticed people lingering around the locker room and thought it might be smart to finally get one. Ironically, today, the very day I had planned to pick up a lock from Target, my jacket was stolen. I take full responsibility for not locking up. Lesson Learn.

This post is just a friendly reminder to everyone. Please lock up your belongings, even if you think it won't happen to you. So brutal feeling. This guy's lying also about I was just going to go. I was going to do my I was going to get a pump in and I was going to write to Target buy a lock for the next time I come in. There's no way that was his plan for the now. He was just moments away.

What a brutal, brutal experience for him when he's literally just like moments away from buying a lock and then having this thing. Here's a weird guy. First guy goes, I see many unlock lock lockers at mine. People are a lot more trusting than I am. And then somebody else goes same. also some people leave their duffel bag on top of the lockers. Now this guy, very weird guy. Oh, I know. I used to go to one in a really nice area. I remember one morning at around seven, I went looking and I saw a free locker. And this is what I saw. First, BMW keys. Second, Mercedes keys and wallet. Third, iPhone and wallet. Fourth,

Toyota keys in their work attire for the day. Just sitting there. That would give me so much anxiety during my entire workout. Another time, this guy writes down. everything he's seen and it feels like he because he goes another time I saw a 900 dollar show a motorcycle helmet with a 400 dollar cardo communication unit attached to it just sitting on top of the lockers so I think this guy is tempted yeah I think he looked up the value of a fucking motorcycle helmet which is a crazy like I can't believe this guy left his motorcycle helmet out hmm I wonder how much this would sell for I would do that though because I like to know how much everything costs.

I like to know how much everything in the room I'm in costs. Not this room. I don't want to know what any of this stuff costs because... In your own room, you don't want to know. Don't want that. I never understood why people don't lock up their stuff. Nothing bad ever happens until it does. It usually takes me three or four tries to find a vacant locker because the ones I open

are occupied despite no lock and you'll see the person's car keys hanging out of a pocket on the backpack. While you're focusing on your workout with headphones on, someone can take your car keys, go to the parking lie, hit the button until they find which car steal your car and get a half hour head start with it before you even notice anything is missing.

A half hour head start. Like when you find out your car stolen, you run and like, you're like, we've got to find this guy right now. He's only, you know, you're all of a sudden you're Tommy Lee Jones and the fugitive. Like, we got to suck every outhouse, bathhouse and dance house in the area.

I mean, people do think of their life as a movie a lot of the time we notice in these posts where it's just like, they're thinking of a movie. Yeah. Like they're thinking of like, okay, 30 minute head start. Like we need to like lock down the like, you know, get a perimeter. Like they really are thinking like a film they saw. Like it doesn't matter if it's 30 minutes, 10 minutes or an hour. Once the car's gone, it's fucking gone. Yeah.

And if you, unless you have like a tracking thing, which then it wouldn't matter. Oh, no. I guess what if they get across the border? or holy shit into international waters. They get out on a barge and they're in international waters. That would be fun. That's exactly what you do when you steal a car. It's like anytime somebody steals a car, they point it right towards international waters.

Yeah, drive it right into the ocean. Sink it. All right. Next, let's go get another one, boys. They type it in the GPS international where laws don't happen. I feel like they, I feel like people, that's, that is a little weird that people, people don't lock shit up. Like, I do feel like you probably should lock stuff out.

I guess people are some people are just... And that's coming from a Canadian. Yeah. I feel like in Canada, like people don't lock shit. Everyone's like, oh, I mean, we're all friends. Hey, bud. We're all friends over here. People do lock stuff up, definitely.

I mean... That's not what Michael Moore said. Oh, Michael Moore, the documentary film. Oh, which episode of guys was he on? Is he Canadian? Is he a Canadian guy? No, he's a Flint guy, but he's a Canadian guy. He's from Flint, Michigan or Detroit, but he is definitely, he's like my dad.

He's a Canadian guy. Like he loves Canada, but he's not from Canada. I mean, I feel like, yeah, that it makes sense to lock stuff up. But I guess maybe if you go to a gym all the time and you feel like you know the people at the gym or whatever and you're just like, I don't know, some people are more trustworthy. Well, this guy, I live in a small rural town where crime is extremely low and everyone leaves their doors unlocked. I used to as well. One time I stopped at a corner shop just to get a bottle of hot sauce. because I had pizza on the way.

Very cool. Weird detail for the story. People are so fucking boring. People are so boring. It's crazy to imagine. What are the Scovo? What are the Scovils on that? I would love for me.

Brian, do you know the other day I looked up the Scovils? I was having some hot sauce and I looked up the Scovles because it was like pretty hot and it was so low. It was like, I know. Like 20,000 or something like that. That's not low.

But yes, I, that's low. because every time we look at a hot sauce it's nine million. Nuclear asshole or whatever they're all called and shit like that. It is like, yeah, the numbers are the normal numbers are pretty low compared to what we're looking at.

Yeah, we look at stuff that people use to keep squirrels away from their power lines and stuff. Like, it's like insane. So he goes, I left my, he goes, I came back out to find my car gone, some meth heads stole it. And I can't believe they stole my two

slices one chicken bacon ranch one meat lovers and i even had a garlic pinwheel in there and thank god i got i at least got to keep my hot sauce you know that is funny that is funny to get your car stolen if i if i had like pizza that i was looking forward to eating and someone stole my car i'd be like the car thing is so fucking annoying but i'm really mad about the pizza right i was doing a barbecue one time i was so excited because i'm pretty good at the grill oh what's your specialty there i can just smoke a pork but like I'm pretty good at it. Not anymore. I can't.

I live in an apartment building. I'm not allowed to I don't think have a smoker. Wait, you moved, right? Yes. I live in a place where people do not fall through the floor. Okay.

That's probably a little better. I mean, for now, you know. Yeah. I went to go pick something up at the store. And I had the music up real. I'd never forget.

It was an action Bronson song for some reason. That was a big action bronzen song. for a period of time. I like you're like for some reason I was into action Bronson. That's like the most on brand shit ever. So I'm listening to it. And the light turns green and nobody's fucking going. Whoa.

I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Come on. Come on. And so I go. Turns out there's a police officer coming down the other side of the road to a robbery. And I swerve to avoid him. And for some reason, my foot didn't come off the gas. I don't have any idea why it pushed down on the gas and I ran into the side of a Chinese restaurant.

I can't even begin to imagine the geography of this story. I'm trying to picture. It's a four-way intersection and then I go to make this turn, right? I go to make this left turn and nobody's moving and I'm in the turn lane. I'm like, well, fuck it. If you people aren't going to fucking move, I'm going to move. That cop came back. this is how you know

this was like one of the first times I was like yeah white privilege is insane this cop came back and he apologized to me they got my car I was like fuck man I was stoned like I had to like run and hide a bowl after I got pulled over like ran over to the side

of the store and smashed the bowl so I like I I like yeah I wrecked I have wrecked a car or two actually I've wrecked a ton of cars to tell you the truth I'm a car wrecking machine This guy goes, are you 100% positive it was stolen? How he recently are bragging about how good of a driver you're going to be.

I am now. I have erect in years. You can be both. Yeah. This guy goes, there's no, this guy goes, the camera they have is a good deterrent. And he gets a report. They don't have cameras in locker rooms. Yeah.

If they, if you're gym as a camera in the locker room for security, switch gyms. Do you? They're selling fucking dick. dick pics online. Oh, for sure, for sure. All right. So let me, uh, let's get to a story here that I found a bunch of versions of this. And this is, so this guy tried to fight me at the gym.

Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, that must happen quite a bit, right? Because people are all jacked up on steroids and they're aggressive and they're like, when you're lifting, you're like, fuck, yeah. Like, you know, like I got a fucking max it. Like they're really getting their testosterone going. I've seen some pretty good fight. videos at the gym as well.

I have, I found that I guess it was a neighborhood I lived in at the time. I found that the gym was just a bunch of people like trying not to look at each other. You know what I mean? Like that was the whole thing. And I read that a lot on the planet fitness one too. Gabe, has you ever been in a fight? Not at the gym, but yeah, I've been in a few fist fights.

It's awesome, isn't it? Yeah. It's really rare. Like I thought it was more common based on like, but like, you know, I'll be. hanging out with other like 40-somethings and I'm like yeah man I was in like 20 fist fights by the time I was 25 or whatever people are like what yeah I've never and I was like wait you've never been in a fight they're like no and I'm like I've been jumped I've jumped people yeah yeah yeah you're Brian is a good you guys could talk about that oh come on I haven't

been in a fight and I mean I haven't been to fight in 20 years and I've only been in like three fights in my whole life yeah I've been in somebody else do it probably in a in a dozen or so yeah i've been and i would say maybe 10 if i exclude like fights that escalated from a rugby match yeah i see did you have did you have any the guys like in your friend group guys it like weasel kind of not weasley guys are like just like little like kind of this is going i had a point i had a bunch of obnoxious drunk friends that i would i i've definitely been in a handful of fights that are my fault for getting into them or were absolutely necessary for my own protection or my own like honor but i've also been

in a handful of fights because i have a piece of shit friend and now i'm like getting the shit kicked out of me by like a guy i don't know that i didn't want i didn't want to fight at all but i'm also i've always been a bigger guy too so when i'm with my friends it's like they're like let's kick that fucking guys it's like no i'm just a big i'm practically gay like you can't beat me up that's different that's different i think that yeah that's i was thinking yeah they used to they used to say the big guys wanted him to do yeah that was my job in their situation his job was to go in and like aggravate somebody into wanting to fight or whatever but that's how i like knew i could maybe talk for a living at that point where that were these big dumb lungs were like man this guy's

good at getting people so mad they want to fight him and so i would go do that and then they would beat him up. That's how I... It's funny. I found out I was good at talking because of the opposite. I got myself out of getting my ass kicked a handful of times. And I'm like, oh, I'm pretty cute, funny and charming based on like, you know, I just eventually get a guy laughing and not wanting to beat my ass. And I'm like, oh, okay, maybe this comedy shit's for me. Maybe I should... Yeah. It's okay. I think a guy at the gym wants to fight me. So this young guy, maybe half my age, I'm 48, hates me. He's an upper body day, everyday type. And yeah, he lifts, but I ignore him. He doesn't like that, apparently.

One time he was stacking 45 pound plates and did push-ups with his feet on him. I couldn't help but laugh because it was so ridiculous. So now whenever we're at the gym, he hangs in my general vicinity and flexes hard. I ignore him to no end, and that generally works. But today he started stepping in front of me at the dumbbells. I love that. Like the guy's going to get his dumbbells, his fucking 28-year-old kid. He just, well, you guys jumps in front and says, I want those dumbbells.

And he's flexing. He stands by you and flexes is such a, that's, this is a person who has protagonist disease where you're like, this guy clearly hates me. He's always flexing by me in the gym. I'm like, that's a crazy fucking thing to say. And also just like, I laughed at him one time and now I'm like, I can't believe this guy wants to fight me. Like, I, I'm sure the guy doesn't even know. He doesn't remember being laughed at him. at all. You know what I mean? Because it's kind of cool to do that, by the way. I don't think

that's like anybody that can't do a push-up, I'm like, hey, I can't even do one, half of one. I don't think people in the gym feel that way. I don't think they're impressed by people who could do one push-up. But this kind of shit annoys me though. Like, I, like people, I think once you're inside it, real meatheads, real fucking gym freaks, they're just happy anyone else is in the gym. And you're not judging people on their form. You want to help them have better form because real fucking, like the real lifters, their ego goes out the window and it's more about like I just want to share the gospel

of iron, you know? I want, I want you to be able to push steel. Like, and I, trust me, I watch millions of gym Instagram videos a day, I would say, and it's like a problem. obviously it's a problem. I spend more time looking at gym reels than in gyms these days. And these guys like, and so like to be like I laughed. First of all, laughing at a guy who's doing an exercise you don't understand is like,

just shut the fuck up. Like just trust the process of this stranger. But then to be like, and now he hates me is a full fabrication of like you're writing the narratives for other people in your life. It's like so fucking. That's so embarrassing. I mean, for lack of. better word. You laughing at them makes you

the quiver in that situation. You started it all. Yeah. For laughing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's, you're, you're trying to antagonize somebody. Like, I couldn't help but laugh. Like, I think you could help but laugh. I don't think you're watching, like, you know, some of the greatest comedy in history. You're not watching a, you're not watching

Burt Kreiser. You can stop yourself from laughing, obviously. So it's like, you're doing it to antagonize them to be like, hey, man, I want you to know that I think that's fucking six. silly what you're doing. And it's not funny. Like what he's doing isn't even funny. It's not that weird to me. Yeah, it's a gym, man.

It's like people are doing different. It's like, and the idea it's like, oh my God, this shit is so performative of what he's doing. Even if it is, it's like, yeah, it's a gym, man. Like people are doing that shit all around you all the time. They're all showing off. They do it in a mirror. I think you have to look at yourself too.

Like it does help to like, you know, a mirror can help you with your form and stuff like that. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I mean, that can help with things. Yeah, like I go to boxing and a mirror is obviously very, very important when you're like, yeah, doing boxing stuff or whatever because you can watch yourself and see how it is. I hate looking at myself. Like I.

Yeah. Oh, I hate watching myself box as well because it's like when I'm not watching myself in the mirror, I can tell myself that I look like a regular guy boxing. Like a boxer, you know. But then you look in the mirror and you're like, oh, I don't look anything like the coach who's helping me out. he's actually doing a different thing than me in time. Part of what I like about lifting weights is like in the moment, you're feeling very strong and you're like, wow, I've got good form and I feel really strong.

And then I look at myself, if I see myself in the mirror, I'm like, my belly is sticking out so far. You can see my hard nipples in this shirt. I look fucking repulsive. My hair looks like this. I'm looking at like hot chicks at the gym like, yeah, how's it going? We hang out at the same place.

And they're looking at me like, this guy's got fucking visible ass sweat. Yeah. And I have no fucking clue. It's helpful, but it is, yeah, sometimes it can be, it's not that fun to look at yourself. But yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's the idea of getting mad at somebody, it sounds like, unless we're misreading this entirely and that guy is like, just like following him around, staring at him the entire time, you know?

Right, right. To be fair. To be fair, we are going, no, man, you're just paranoid. But in real life, this guy is like single white. mailing him or whatever he's going to like some guy who's just like the most jacked up crazy dude ever who's but yeah it sounds to me like this guy is just like uh yeah like john said he's decided he's he's writing a lot of this guy's dialogue this is a really weird guy this is a really weird response you're 48 you should know how to handle children by now i would handle him like a child whoa

yeah you don't like that late i just don't like the way he worded and i don't know what that even meet like you would discipline his spank him a spank him i guess that's the only thing i can think of is that he could meet is to spank him on his on his bum yeah or say if you stop doing this i'll give you some strawberry milk oh yeah so possibly milk possibly um you know i'll take away something privileges i pad or something like yeah you ain't watching a lion king tonight brother yeah bedtime's 10 p.m for you tough guy i think his next guy just says crush him but then the op he replies and goes, I think I probably could, but he's just a kid. He wants to be an alpha and he knows I'm the silverback.

Oh, fuck, dude. So, never mind. Never mind. No, there is. I'm immediately on the push-up guys. Oh, 100%. I'm fully on his side. This guy, this is like, this guy needs to be chemically castrated.

Is this confirmed? That was so good how it just was, you know, I was kind of like, hey, maybe who know, you know? And then he just comes in like, Daddy's the silver. back gorilla around you. It's like, oh. I'm going to read some reviews of a pre-workout called Bucked Up. So in case your listeners don't know what pre-workout is, it's usually like amino acids, caffeine,

and like, you know, L's carninine and like all these kind of like things that invoke, like, that give you, like, energy or make you sweat. And like, you know, I have people in my family who don't drink coffee, but every morning have like two pre-workouts before the gym. They're like, I don't like coffee. I drink, you know, watermelon fucking, like watermelon bucked up. And they all have names like that too. When I was a kid, there was something called Ultimate Orange, which would end up getting

banned because it had so many fucking weird substances in it. But we were obsessed with it when we were kids. We were like, we got to get an 18 year old to buy us Ultimate Orange. So it's, so we get fucking yak to the gills. Like, it seems like you mix it, like Agent Orange. It seems like it's like close to that. It's a little close to something that was like famously bad for an entire generation of Americans and I guess Vietnamese too. Well, Levi gives it five stars and he goes, not recommended for the week or new users.

Love the flavors and the pump it gives me. My body noticeably looks more swole when taking it. Nothing like that itchy and tingly feeling before a workout. Can't beat the pump or the endurance it gives you. Go from just one more rep to let's do. five more reps. So this is like energy drink guys. It has similar stuff to, right?

It's giving them the it's giving them the itch, the energy drink. It's crazy how much these guys love the like, I almost OD'd on caffeine. Like that they love, they love to be like, this is how you know. Like all the Instagram reels are always like, uh,

POV, you just drank your pre-workout and ready to work out and it's like blurry vision and shit like that. So that's very similar to the, this is a lot of overlap with the energy drink guys, because they're the same thing. They seem to want to, like, get the feelings of, like, being nervous and anxious and scared. Like, that's the thing. I drink until I see, I drink pre-workout until I see the hat man or whatever. The jester.

The jester show up. It's that thing also where, like, when you're young, when you're very young and you're, I don't know, you'd be watching a new. The big example for me is the passout game. Yes. Back when you were in school, you're watching a news and a. like some kids died playing the pass-out game and it's like we got to play the pass-out game the strides end effect or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah we we won't die yeah we're not pussies four loco for local for local is like you know this stuff is like well what was this what was the i love talking about the

brian used to drink it the charged lemonade or whatever sparks oh no charged Charged lemonade. You know that was like on the nude. You know a bunch of people went and started. I got to get like it's when it was killing people or whatever. But sparks, John, I had a friend that would come over with like five sparks and just drink them. When we were taking a lot of pills too, he would, me and him would just sit around. He'd drink like five sparks and take like five percocets.

And we would just sit in the apartment and talk all fucking night because I was like all suited up on the perkinsets. We'd turn on Fox News. and be like, can you believe people, look, people believe this crap? This is crazy. Like, it was. Oh, wow. That's funny that Perkin and Sparkin

radicalize you guys with good politics. The guys I know who Perkin and Sparkin are like, we have to go execute the minorities. Yeah. This is 2004, right? During that election, Bush versus Kerry. And I'm like, I'm a fucking John Kerry guy. Let's fucking do this.

I'm fucking, I'll get my own. Swift boat. Yeah. This guy goes, tastes good, but didn't do much. First, and he gave it

four stars, by the way, which is insanely high for the review he's about to give. First off, I would like to say people need to stop

complaining about a half-filled container. You're buying the product for the number of servings. It doesn't matter how empty or full the container is. If you get the correct number of serving,

that's what you're paying for. And if they gave you a full container, you would lose powder when you, I love this guy explaining the container. like for the first paragraph of his review. Someone had a negative complaint that were like,

hey, I opened the container. It's only half full. Yes, it's the exact amount that's labeled on the label about much it's in there. They just have, now, I will say that guy's accidentally making a case for it.

There is ways to use less plastic in this industry for sure. Yeah. But at the same time, it's like there was a, there's that little space in my Poland spring water bottle in between the cap and the thing. It's like they're,

they're ripping me off. I could have an extra sip of water. It's like, that's not how it works. Yeah, it's a packaging thing across all products, really. That's, you know, chips and like people have been talking about this forever. But you're supposed to leave a little room too because you don't want it to like explode. Exactly. With pressure.

That's like going to a restaurant and when the plate comes out going, hey, there's so much fucking extra space on this plate. Can you fill it in with steak and potatoes please? It's like, sir, that's not how this fucking works. It's a it's a it's a it's Coke no ice guys are kind of like that. You know what I mean? You go and they're like, I'll have a Coke,

no ice and you're like, well, they're like, it comes out cold and you get more Coke if you do it that way. It's like, come on man. I'm rarely drinking soda, uh, but I am a no ice guy because I just don't like when the soda gets watered down

a little. I need it like as harsh as possible. Yeah. I'd rather have room temp, Dr. Pepper than, than have Dr. Pepper over ice. That's disgusting to me. That actually makes me sick to think of having room temperature pop.

I hate, I really do. I like ice cold beverages, so I love that. I prefer it, but I don't want it over ice, yeah. I want it over ice and I, like, so that I can drink it going through the ice so it's as cold as possible, but you're right. It does, you do deal with, you have to drink it fast or else it's, you know. Chris quickly explaining how ice and a drink works. I like ice in my drinks.

So when I sip it, the ice gets the drink colder. Well, you know what with your listeners? You might want to just clarify. Hey, hey, Gapers, our listeners are smart, okay? They're very intelligent. They're very intelligent. And also, I do want to clarify that because we did have a little, we're talking about marijuana about how the weed goes through the bong over the ice

and how that cools it down. And some people disagree on that. I disagree with it. I don't think it does any. That's the intention, but I don't think it actually works as much. Yeah. It does. It does.

And please comment. It makes it a touch less harsh for sure. Comment below on, I guess, Spotify, let's do comment on episodes. Uh, yeah, comment below if, uh, ice makes weed. Comment right below that is going to say, comment right below, uh, we're talking about ice, uh, and Spotify is putting ice ads on this. Oh. Antonio gives it one star.

What? Antonio. You don't work out. You love bucked up. Antonio. Like there's no deer antler, not labeled. Very disappointed in a product. It does not have deer antler in it.

which is the main reason that I order the product. It should be clearly labeled when you change the formula. My understanding is Amazon was not allowing that in order to sell it, so they changed the formula. That's reasonable, but you should let the consumer know. I bought it with the assumption that the product has deer antler in it, and that's noticeably different. Well, I did not.

I thought he was, I was like, what an idiot. This guy just saw, you know, antlers on the, for those you, the packaging has antlers on it. And he thought, oh, it must be a other. It's called bucked up. Now you're starting to say like, oh, it's named because it had a deer antler as an ingredient. But it sounds like, unless he's completely crazy, it sounds like. No way. The guy commenting on the post work on the pre-workout reviews page is potentially crazy.

It sounds like they actually did used to have deer antler in this. But the deer antler can't do anything. He's like, I like deer antler. Help you grow some antlers. That's the kind of thing that you would put into something like this. It would get certain guys absolutely fucking jacked up. Like they would just in their mind, they would be like, holy fuck. Like that, that is real fucking strength.

Like, you know, like a deer antlers. They're really strong. I look at a buck and I'm like, that guy is fucking crazy strong. And they're fucking antlers, man. Like they could fucking impale something, dude, man. And they're like, you know, like that's the type of shit. and it's completely meaningless and there would be such a small amount of it. You know what I mean?

It would be like this crazy small amount. And you'd be able to get it because they're always getting their racks. They, you know, they like change them or whatever. So you hit them with your car all the time. You can take their answer and grind it. Andler. Oh. When the supplement, when the supplement.

Hey, John, just sorry. We just, yeah, we missed the flow. Well, I didn't. I didn't miss it. But what did you say? Ants. Answer. Answer.

answer. It's not a more like answer, I think. That's not a big deal. But anyway, like, it reminds me. While we're on the topic of Flubs, Brian texted me this morning to say, give me the link to the stream yard, then wrote, well, we'll see you there in 26 minutes. Now, he sent it to me at 834 Eastern. So it was actually 26 minutes away. And then, but when I looked at it, it was one minute later. And then I watched it go, he edited it down to 25 minutes. Because 20. 26 is a weird number. But it was right. Like, it was funny. Oh, I know. But you don't say 26. And I was like, did I just get a text flub? I got to relay this to Chris.

Well, I appreciate that. That's great. Him editing it. The idea that he's just like, oh, God. I don't want Gabris looking at this and thinking 26 minutes. Why did he said 26 minutes? I stared at my phone for one more minute to see if he'd bump it down to 24. When the way.

I'm like, is he just sitting there hoping I just. give this the thumbs up as he keeps editing the exact time that we were meeting up. Yeah, he's just like, I don't know if gamers has read it yet. So let's just keep his post update. I wouldn't want him to come to the stream four minutes late. So I went to R slash Equinox gyms. Now Equinox, for people who don't know these chain gyms, Planet Fitness is like kind of famously cheap and not for like real fitness ads

because they don't let you use chalk. A lot of gyms don't let you use chalk. but like they don't let you grunt. They don't let you like bang weights at Planet Fitness. And a lot of people roast Planet Fitness because they have like bagel Fridays and shit and stuff like that. And now Equinox is like the bougie version of all these gyms. It's a globo gym. Like it's a chain.

But they usually have like nicer amenities. Like they have like. You're allowed. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to grunt. They got to let you grunt. I got to grunt. I got a grunt is a little classier there. You know what I got a grunt.

I got a grunt in the steam room the whole time. right? Oh, yeah. Just to me, yeah. I don't lift weights. I just go in the steam room and fucking. Ugh. Ugh.

I love that one. The air release one that the guys do sometimes. Yeah. I get a lot of water on those rocks and I get it super steamy in that room so you can't even see me. I'm just in the corner and sort of in the smoke and I'm just grunted. I'm just grunted. There's an equinox near me where I live in West Hollywood, which is famously a gay neighborhood.

And people would say like the Equinox steam room is like, might as well be a truck stop. Well, I did see a lot about the Equinox steam room being like, oh, I was just sitting in there and a guy just kind of started jerking off. That's not ideal. I want to say, if it's not, if it's a public place or whatever where some people might not want to be doing it, Like, yeah, it's different than like a bathhouse or whatever.

I got old. What did they do like every, every two hours, there's a half hour where you're allowed to jerk off in a steam room. Yeah, I don't know that Equinox is like getting officially behind. You look at your watch and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm actually in here for the crank session. It's in the schedule. It's all I can really do because of my work schedule. So I'll just sit here while these guys do fucking ucky cookie in the steam room. Yeah, totally.

You're like, you know, it's literally posting up on the schedule outside. but you're like yeah this is the only time i could do it i need to steve it would be every hour and a half and they would call it jerk a clock and you could go in there and fucking you know what i mean anyway minor nip but i'm really sick at ESPN being the only channel that has ever played in the men's locker room every single time it's ESPN does equinox not think that guys have other interests or that a lot of us don't give a fuck about sports why don't mix it up a little or go with something that's more universal and still bland and uncontroversial.

Uncontrovert. Sports is controversial. Very uncontroversial. And at a gym, it's in a locker room. It's like, I'm sorry, buddy. That's like, hey, I went to an axe throwing place and they had like IPAs on tap. It's like, yeah, man, that's what happens at these fucking things.

I'm sorry. There are some, like, if you want to go, what, and are you post? How long are you in the locker room for that you like, great question. I want to watch, I want to watch a few good men with. commercials on AMC or something. I want to watch some of my programs while I, you know. While I change into my while I shower.

So he goes, it's bad enough that the main gym floor TV is always have Fox News playing. It's like Equinox has run out of Oklahoma or something. Oklahoma catching strays. I, I, yeah, the gym, the gym, I mean, listen, that's a, that's a different thing because that's like, that might be a little bit divisive, right? if you're putting on a political news channel that's like a partisan channel, then it's like that might annoy some of that's, that seems like odd to me that they would do something like that. It seems like a lot of them do Fox News, Chris.

Like really from from the stuff I read and like so. LA fitness. Wouldn't that annoy? Wouldn't that annoy? Wouldn't like people go work there like a like a wine mom liberal wine mom or wouldn't she not want that? What about a guy like me is working out there? I need it. Yeah, no, I hear you.

I guess, but like, yeah, just like again, it would seem to me like sports would be less divisive than that. Well, listen to this one. Women's locker room at NYSC is usually showing the news, which I hate. But on one merciful day, it was showing nature documentaries, and I still recall how lovely in Zen it was. And then the OP replies and goes, that sounds perfect. Instead, I get to watch an ESPN host that spreads lies about teenager's sexual history, talk with other adults about games with balls. Oh, you're watching your sports ball. I hate that shit.

You're in a gym, man. It's almost sports. It's basically sports. It's like you're in a gym. It's definitely athletics. You know what I mean? It's like the sports. It's in the Olympics.

A lot of the stuff is in the Olympics. I don't know, man. It feels like you're in the sports realm right now. I feel like this is the wrong complaint about gyms. Like, you know what I mean? Like I understand there's a lot of things to gym culture that turn people off. But I think like what's on the gym. TV in the era of everyone has like a television in their pocket or like,

or like unlimited amounts of, like you could just put your headphones on and watch Netflix on your phone on that's what everyone does. They listen to stuff on their headphones, obviously. This is actually one of my big complaints is my current gym plays like club and pop music so loud. And then I look around the floor and almost everyone is wearing headphones. The only people who aren't are being actively personal trained by someone. You know what I mean?

So it's like, that's a thing where you're like, they should be able to hear each other talk. I should be able to hear the fantasy audio book unless the Wheel of Time book 12 I'm listening to while I lift weights. I should be able to hear that without having to pump Gaga over everything. And it's like, just understand we're all on headphones. Most people are on headphones now. We could just lower the volume of the music in this gym overall. There's like never really at this point at a place like that. I don't think there's ever really any need for that.

Like, because everybody that goes to the gym is wearing hip. Nobody, like, shows up there and it's like, I love this weird club mix of a song. Because, like, that music, I'm telling you, there's like, I call it, uh, either hotel lobby music. Yeah. Where it's like music that nobody's ever heard in their entire life except in a hotel lobby or at the gym. Nobody's ever heard any of these songs in the gym. So, yes, I'll tell you this. Oh, it's a, it's an EDM version of Buffalo Springfields for what it's worth.

What the fuck? I saw a guy yesterday in a lifted truck. Hell yeah. And he had a red hat on backwards and he was listening to break stuff. Whoa. And I went like this. I go like this. Thumbs up to the guy.

I did a thumbs up to him because. And then I was like, oh, no, that red hat could also be something else. I thought it was like a red Yankees hat. and he was going durst mode, which I do sometimes. But it also could have been the other kind of red hat that people wear. And I fucking thumbs up to guys. Like, I want to go back and go like this to him. Hey, if that hat to mag a hat, it's a no for me.

I think we could, you know, based on Ohio lifted truck red hat. Yeah, I don't think, like, unless it's a Buckeyes hat. It could have definitely been a Buckeyes hat. But let me tell you whether or not he was wearing the hat on that. that particular day. That fella in the lifted truck listening to break stuff in Ohio. I don't know. I mean,

I think he might be a time traveler from like 1997. Yeah. I mean, first of all, Limp Biscuit didn't really get going until 98. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just,

watch how we talk about Limp Biscuit on here. Okay? He makes it all uncomfortable. This guy goes, you sound like a HGTV guy. Oh, fuck. That's almost a slur. Yeah, I mean, I mean, it is.

I think that's what he's shooting for. Yeah, I mean, clearly. Yeah, looking for the, like, nature documentaries and stuff at the gym, it does seem fucking bizarre. Like, it's zen. Like, what depends, like, are you doing a meditation thing? Or are you fucking, you know, trying to get yourself extremely big? Like, yeah.

It seems like, I don't know. John, what do you think is a perfect type of music? If everyone weren't to be on, like, headphones, what do you think is the best type of music? Ooh, for lifting weights, it's hard because the thing is, I think if you're doing cardio, you kind of want something that's got a high BPM and that can, like, that you can, like, match a pattern to and keep you hyped. But then if you're doing, like, a one RM squad, or you're going for, like, a heavy set, you kind of want, like, something heavier, like metal or industrial or something like that. Corn. I've always been, yeah, corn, work.

not for me but I get it uh bring around the rosy pocket full of boys I know I learned about that I know I learned about it watching Chris learn about it at the live show in the coup

that's the one song I wish they didn't I knew they were going to play it because they play it at every show because it's one of their big songs and I'm like you guys should stop playing that song because then Chris hears it and he's like oh I'm just gonna make fun of that for the rest of my life man I'll tell you it

That song, the lyrics to it and the whole idea behind it, that just that it cross, it goes through my mind so much. I'll just be watching something and it'll be like someone will talk about something having darkness or whatever behind it. And I'll just think about him saying how those fairy tales or whatever have so much darkness behind him. Like that idea, that song is like become a big part of my brain. It's like it has a big part of my brain.

This guy goes, I'm sure you can change. And this is good. This is a good question or a good comment because you two have brought it up, right? I'm sure you can get the channel changed if you ask. However, these are sports clubs. So the default thought of TV is generally sports. O.P replies and goes, there are no sports played at my gym. And there are loads of people who work out who aren't into sports.

And it's like, oh, there's no sports really in any gym. Like, it's not like people go to the gym. There's usually like usually not a basketball court or like, uh, uh, if there is. there is. Yeah. That was actually maybe the worst example you could have given. Exactly. There's not like a pool or anything.

Sometimes there, yeah, sometimes there is. A wrestling ring. Now, if there was a wrestling ring in there, I'd go there, do some Irish whips. Like a wrestling, you mean like a boxing ring? No, a wrestling ring. Yeah. Not an octagon? No.

The squared circle that they use in professional wrestling. Oh, you don't have to tell me. Yeah. That's better. than when the orange man speeches or trade war news, oof, definitely a shame. Oh, man. And this is, wait, real quick aside,

when I first moved to L.A., I started working out at this 24-hour fitness because it was in the same building as the Arklight movie theater that I love. So I would be like, oh, it's fun. I can go lift and go to the movies. And it was like, you know, $40 a month or whatever. And it was, the low cost was a problem

because it allowed people who are sort of like half living at the gym to go there, which is, you know, their prerogative, but that's just not the vibe I want. You would go into the sauna and there'd be like a guy in jeans, boots and like a sweatshirt, like shadow boxing with a phone without headphones playing like a loud fucking like right wing podcast. And you'd be like, this Mexican guy is like blasting this shit. And you'd just be sitting there like, yeah, okay. This guy's like swimming in the pool and jean shorts and shit. and you're like, I got to get out of this gym.

But I just didn't for a long time. The thing that made me eventually leave the gym is the police killed a guy in the locker room. It was like threatening people or something and they taste him and he had a heart attack and died in the locker room. And I was like, I think it's time to fucking quit this. I got to get to my God of this way.

Yeah, I'm like, how much could this gym goes closer to my house and way nicer be? Let me just pay the extra $100 or whatever. Yeah, I have a gym in my building. but... Yeah, we have a gym and our... Barely a gym. It's got two treadmills, a stair thing,

two bikes, a rower in and one of those machines. You know what I mean? I know I just did a move that you don't do with those machines. Just the machines with all the weights on, you know, you can pull strings and you pull strings everywhere and stuff.

And finally, this guy goes, apparently the world should revolve around O.P. And then O.P. replies and goes, currently the world's revolving around the person that sets the channel to one thing always. So yeah, having it revolve around me a little sounds great. Good guy. Good fun guy.

So, uh, fucking Jim nerd, like a gym nerd. Jim nerd. That thing. Yeah, I didn't really think about that type of person, right? I think about them all as being the big like brolic, big like,

hey, what the fuck, you know? But there are the people who's like, um, do we need to be playing the sports ball all day? I think it's a, oh, oh,

got the ball in the hole this time great you know like there are like because gym culture exploded uh and it's like uh like more and more people are in the gym umbrella it's not just for like classic meatheads anymore there are all kinds of like vibes at gyms that i know there are multiple like role playing game based gyms where you're like where they talk about like it's gaining strength and you know like and they like put it under like the They gamified a little bit. You're getting mana. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's like, like, and you're like, oh, shit. Okay, that is fucking insane. Yeah. But because it's like a bigger tent now, people are doing weirder and weirder shit. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like I never thought of the people who are just kind of like policing everything that's happening around the gym.

I guess those people are probably like the most annoying kind of people. Now, we're doing, we're doing guys. So I have to do this. one. Gym bathrooms are wild. I've been going to the gym for several years and no matter what, Jim, I end up, there's always a shitload of dudes who do the gnarliest stuff in the bathrooms. I see dudes using the urinal stall while completely barefoot. I don't know if people know, but there's piss under all the urinals and toilets. I'll be in a stall and some dude comes into the stall next to me, shits, and then immediately pulls up his pants and leaves. By the way,

you're watching a guy crap. I mean, you got to stop doing it. You got to stop doing it. doing that. I think goes, I've always thought these kinds of things are crackhead activities, but almost daily I see wild stuff like I said above happen. Am I weird for thinking these are degenerate behaviors? Yeah, I mean, if, listen, if someone's not wiping their ass, that's absolutely degenerate behavior. That's one of the big things in our society, I think, is you've got to be, you have to wipe your ass. I mean, just the idea that you could walk around anywhere and not, right? Like, if you don't wipe your ass and you go and you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, got shit all over your eyes, you stink so bad.

Yeah, it it's. I think it itches, too, because even when you leave a little bit of turd on your butt and you walk around all day and starts chafing and itching, you know what I mean? I understand the impulse where you're like, I've wiped like 40 times. Maybe I just get up and go now and just fucking throw these underwear out or whatever. I get it. I hate wiping. But at the same time, I can't stand wiping.

It's the hardest part of shitting. It's like so frustrating. You guys ever thought of going bidet? I did for a while. Oh, yeah, and it was great. I got to get back into it. Yeah, a bidet is the way I feel like for that. It's like makes you feel the most clean, obviously,

and it's like less, it's less horrible to do at the end. But Brian, sorry, you're walking around with shit on your ass sometimes. I love having shit all over my ass. This guy goes, an old friend of mine got back from a hunting trip abroad. Can't remember where. And he's complaining about the bidet's. He says that he's never touched his butthole and doesn't intend to start. What is it with people openly not washing properly?

I'd say around 50% of guys don't wash their hands in public toilets also. Not to mention at least once on every construction site. I'm on every construction site. I'm on some guy shits in the urinal of a porta potty and we have a safety meeting about it. Ridiculous. That's a prank. Yeah, that's a college prank. That's a classic college prank.

Sir, this is not, that is not the guy crapping in the urinal is not making a mistake. Where do I put my? my shit when I go in here. Which one of these things do I crap in? It's confusing in this place. I remember the first time I went into a porta potty and it had a urinal. Like previously I hadn't seen that for years.

And then like when you, and it's like a huge advantage to not have to look into that pit of shit and blue water and piles of toilet paper and piss into it. Like it's such a treat to just piss down like a little fucking tube. It's such a treat is a crazy thing to say. It's so foul.

There's, there were some Porta Potty's downtown for a while during the pandemic. And I would sometimes stop to pee in. I'm not drinking. I'd stop to pee in them. I used the urinal. But like they never made, did maintenance on me.

They were right by the biggest bus stop in the city. Like the most busy bus stop in the city. And like I went in one time and the turds were up over the thing. You know what I mean with the toilet paper? That's horrifying. That's hardcore, man. And that is like as nasty as it gets. When the turds break ground and they like come up out of the, like, you know, when you can see them from ground level.

But then I start thinking about the last guy. Oh, yeah. He's like, fuck it. I got to stand on the seat and just let this drop on the pile. He's like, he's booing. He's like, he's sitting up as he's. He's rising. He's rising.

Like, like, uh, like his stand. Randy Marsh or whatever. Like the colon blow SNL commercial? Yeah, the idea that he's just, but he's like sort of pushing himself just to keep his ass away from the shit file. That's so fucking crazy. I worked construction one summer and there was a porta, and I have like, if I wake up super early, my entire day is dealing with my stomach is not right.

So construction famously starts early. I'd get to the site, have a cough, and have to shit. and I'd have to go and take a shit. So I took a shit in a porta potty like every day this one hot summer in Brooklyn. And I fucking hated it. And I talked to my buddy who was running the site. I'm like, I can't stand going in these porta-potties. He's like, honestly, you get used to it.

He was telling me this story when he used to work construction. Everyone would get so adjusted to the port-a-potty was not a big deal. But then a fucking guy who would like clean the porta-potties who would come with like the hose to like get the shit out. Like and he said these guys would be holding a hose that's like spraying shit into like a truck and they'd be like eating a sandwich in the other hand like they were so far like they were so shit did not phase them in a way where they'd be like holding like with gloves on eating a sandwich and spraying shit out of a hose. It's like that's that's that's you know built different as they say. Getting desensitized to a hose full of crap is one of the it's just a crazy thing that like. I'm talking to two parents here shit used to really gross me out

and then I had a dog and now I'm like I'm picking it up like every and I live in the city so I lived in the city when I had the dog so I had to pick up pick up my shit

like three times a day I'm holding hot shit inside a plastic bag and I'm like this I got adjusted to it fast but I imagine as parents you're like if shit grosses you out

you're kind of in a bad space because you have to deal with that Brian doesn't remember he doesn't remember he's not really a parent in that same sort of way He's like an older parent kind of with an older kid. But yeah, I definitely...

Gasoline induced amnesia. I definitely do. I mean, I deal with shit all the time still, obviously. Your own. You do have to get you. So I also have a big dog as well, Gabor. So I find the same thing. I'm like dealing with shit in a bag in the morning and then going home,

changing a diaper, a bunch of shit. And it was funny how gross shit was for a while and then smash cut to me after like three months of having a dog. I have my ice coffee and dog. shit bag in the same hand. I think baby and dog shit is totally different. The parenting thing that

is when the shits become like regular person shits and if they're not potty trained. You know what I mean? And even if they're potty trained, sometimes they're just going to fuck up and take a crap in their pants. And once it starts to feel like, oh, this is

the same kind of poop an adult has is when you're like, I don't like this. You're going to have to learn. you know. My nephew has some light anxiety around pooping and he like holds it in for too long. But every like once a month I get a picture from my brother. I'm like the dog of my nephew shit. It's like a foot and a half long.

Yeah. He's like nine. So it's fucking crazy to see. It's powerful. He's going to be really powerful. I believe. He's going to be a powerful man. This guy's worked at a gym for about a year in the men.

locker room is really where you go to get to witness the worst of people. Agreed. And any location, you know what I mean? The men's locker room is the scariest place you can go no matter what? The one thing that bothered me was the most was seeing massive shits in the toilet with no toilet paper. Now, I know someone's walking around the gym with a shitty ass and sitting on all the equipment. It's hard to believe that people are mature enough to go to the gym and work out, okay, but not mature enough to fly. the toilet or even wipe after taking his shit.

Yeah, that's weird. They don't, they're not flushing the toilet either. So you're seeing the shit in there. And like these people are doing there. So there's no sort of confirmation that people aren't wiping asses. There's sort of like, like some detectives that are on the case and they feel like maybe people in the gym aren't wiping their ass. I just, I find it hard to believe. I just don't know how you could like in let, you know, if you're a person who's like, you know,

participating in society or whatever that I don't think. you can do that with a dirty ass i think people will like ask you to leave places they'll let you know like i don't think that's true at all you are an uh unusually comfortable with confrontation person whereas most people if you're sitting on the bus and a guy gets on the bus and he's got shit all over his ass most people are like damn i have to see it with the shit smell or even in anywhere but it's different it's different on a bus like i said i mean you do definitely deal with that someone who's like unhoused person or something. That's not. I'm even talking about that. I'm talking like someone with a shitty ass at another place.

I just mean you're going out with like if you have like a friend, you're going out with your friends or whatever. You're going to meet your like, you know, you're somebody for dinner and you have shit in your ass and you smell of shit. Are they not going to say? Is the person in your life not going to say? You would not say if you like went and met your brother, for example, for dinner. And he had very clearly shit in his, in his pants. And he smelled. them shit in the restaurant. You would just not say anything? I wouldn't know.

I don't think I would. I don't like confrontation. I'd be like, you know what? Once I'm done, I'm not going to have to smell his shit anymore. He can go home and clean it off. Gaboris,

if you went and hung out with one of your friends and they had shit them or they had shit all over their ass and you could smell it. Would you say like, hey, man, it smells like maybe you didn't wipe your ass. You got to, I think I'm probably in between the two of you

and I'd be like, did you fart? And they're like, they're like, no, I didn't. I'm like, well, you kind of smell like shit. Yeah, that's all I would do too. I wouldn't be like crazy competition. I wouldn't be like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You shit your pants.

You wipe your ass, you fucking paint. Wipe your ass, you ragged. Rub their face in the fucking dog. Like a dog. Yeah, like a horrible dog odor. Yeah, yeah. No, I am the same way. I think I would just, I'm not going to sit there and smell shit for the whole dinner.

I think I'll mention it. You know, you, I think you'd be pretty surprised at what I'm willing to put up with so that I don't have to talk to somebody about something that makes me uncomfortable. So this guy goes, how much would they have to smell of shit for you to mention it? I guess like if, so the wiping thing I think is a different smell than like just having a full turd in your butt. You know what I mean? When you're going around? Yeah. What the fuck is this conversation?

It's guys, a podcast about guys. We're talking to Jim guys Now we're on an extended like Etiquette conversation Like writing into the weirdest magazine Dear Abby My friend's ass reeks of shit How do I broach the subject

When we're out to dinner Say hypothetically it's my brother And he's got visible shit In his little white undies Like it's like so We are actually having this conversation You I guess it depends on the level of friend too

If it's like you know You might want You might want to just get out of it without ever interacting about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's like you're going, if you're going out to like, meeting a friend you haven't seen in five years or whatever, you show up and they've clearly shit their pants.

And they're like, well, I'll never hang out with this guy again. You're like, hey, I'm just going to like, I'm going to grab it. Oh, I just got a call on my wife is fucking, and then you just bail on that. I would have some issues too because because of the way I look, when someone else farts, like someone I'm friends with farts or smells bad, I get assumed it's me because I'm like the big bearded, sloppy guy and I almost famously smell good.

Like I actively pursue being clean. Both of you guys, both of you guys look like you could stink. Yes. And people say, well, you know, but and both of you smell very good. It's a reaction to that. Like while you'll be somewhere in your frontal fart and you'll get mad, you're like, everyone thinks it's me. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I'm in a tank top. I had a, I had, I talked about it before. I had the, there's a thing that happened in ninth grade that was just like I will, I let a girl borrow my coat. And she went to class with my coat. And then people were like, ah, she, your coat smelled so bad that we had to put it outside of the room. And she brought it to me and handed it to me. This is a brutal story.

I like to laugh at Brian's hijinks for when he was younger and stuff. But this, this story breaks my heart. I still see it. The stories that when Brian tells stories from his youth, you can laugh when he's the asshole. You know, like that's when it's fun where you're like, oh yeah,

you're making the bad choice here. But the second, it's just like a fucking pearl jam Jeremy moment. Yeah, totally. Everyone remembers those moments where you're just like, everyone, no matter where you stood in high school, you had those moments where you're like,

where you felt so embarrassed in front of everyone. And it's just. Burned into my head, fourth grade, Mr. Garuba's social studies class. Every crazy name, he ate popcorn like a lizard. It was very weird to watch. He was talking about how in ancient times people's last names would be based on their profession. And we had in the class someone with the last name Baker, someone with the last name King, someone with the last name Hunter. And then I remember specifically a bully of mine, a woman, I guess a girl, a fourth grade girl,

who bullied me all the time. Shout out Jade, who made me the most powerful person I am today. She goes, then what about Gabris? What was his family? Like, were they gay? And it fucking crushed me in fourth grade. And I was like, I never really unpacked that my name had the word gay in it. Now I'm like, oh, no, is my family lineage gay?

Like all of a sudden I'm like, I have no idea. And I'm just like, this fucking broke me. I like can't deal with it. And I snapped and like ran. out of class like crying and then that made things of course way worse yeah and i was already this was when i went to like a school where like uh only a handful of white people went so i was already i was just being bullied for being white which was like tolerable because it was like i can handle it's fair too it's like it's completely reasonable yeah and the power dynamic in hindsight it's like

the power dynamic is correct but that's also something and now i stood out though as now it was just not one of the seven white kids who gets bullied. Now I'm gay bris and that stuck with me for my fucking life and it broke me. I moved schools and when I went to a more white school eventually, I moved towns and I went to a more, but it was more Jewish heavy and they knew what a bris was. So it opened up a whole new level of roasting where I'm like, finally I'm out. I'm not and then like. So you are looking to move schools to get the joke over with. Instead, you actually turned it into a bit of a riff. I think we were moved.

I don't think my parents would say we move schools to prevent my son for being bullied. I think it was because my mom got a full-time job. Like she went back to college and became a nurse. And we were like, we class jumped from like whatever class to lower middle. We made it all the way up to lower middle or whatever. And we were kings of a tiny kingdom. But I'm sure I talked about this on a podcast, maybe not guys. But in junior high and high school,

the football coach who was also my history teacher called me gay boy. For real, that was my nickname, was gay boy from a teacher and coach. I played football for all four years of high school. My gym teacher who was the weightlifting coach called me grab ass. And then the dean of admissions who was also the head of athletics of the school called me garbage. Those are my three nicknames from grownups. That, it, it blew my mind. People like, I remember on the, in the Discord, they were saying, I couldn't believe how mean, how openly, like, rude the teachers were.

Brian's teachers. And like, I don't think I really had that. Maybe we had a couple of kind of, but I don't, I don't think it was like that for me where, like, they would never. The idea of a teacher calling a student gay boy. They announced me at the fucking pep rally for the football. team when I was a senior and it's like they said John gay boy gabras it's like I'm gonna fucking and my joke that I say is like if if I wasn't afraid of guns I'd be a school shooter so instead I just became a comedian yeah that is that is like that idea of it is wild I mean that was that was that

thing like I had said that listen I feel like this is how I think about it is like if you were dealing with me when I was 15, 16 years old and you're a teacher and you can't, I mean, they can't hit you. You know what I mean? So like they can't really yell at you in any real way. So they kind of would sneaky bully you. Because I just remember I had that teacher, Mr. Schwendeman man, and he'd be like, there was a prison riot at a place called Lucasville Prison in Ohio. It was like kind of a famous prison riot in like the early 90s. And he would just every day, he's like, ah, you're going to be in Lucasville.

You're definitely going to be in prison someday. And then it was like, okay. Then we got our yearbooks and we were like having people sign it. And I was like, you want to sign my yearbook, Mr. Schwindman? And he fucking drew bars over my picture. Whoa. And wrote his name under it.

Whoa. But it's like, dude, he was like, it has to feel helpless. I've said this before. I used to volunteer when my daughter was inside. I volunteered for like her kindergarten first second grade year. Then in third grade I volunteered one day. And I realized third grade is about when they turn into bad kids.

When the bad kids decide. That's what they are though. Nah, don't say that. I'm not saying that's when they start acting up. Yeah. That's when they start turning into that. If we're going to talk about childhood stuff, I think that's a really bad thing to say about kids.

to call a kid a bad kid. Well, yeah, well, you think me and Brian got that idea from.

It's a different thing, though. We went to American public schools. It's a thing that people self-identify as, I guess is what I would say.

Like, like, I'm a fucking bad kid. Everything I do is bad. Yeah, well, that's bad though. That's,

anyways. It's cool. Anyway, there are people right now. By the, I want to apologize to the listeners who get really mad

of when we don't do enough covering of the topic. We're like, oh, Jim, guys, this is going to be, so I do apologize. This guy goes, worst thing I found was while getting dressed in a nice hotels, Jim. I put socks on and stood up and felt a pain in my foot. A thick nail clipping in my sock. Oh, penetrated by a nail clipping. Yeah. It's in his socks.

It's his fault, right? True, fair. That is true. but still. Yeah, wait, was it inside his? Or did he step on it on the ground? He stepped on it on the ground and it was on the ground. It was on the ground.

It was on the ground. Yeah, he came through the socks. So this was someone else's jagged nail clipping. Fucking penetrated him and cut him open. That is horrible. When you step on a real nail, you need a tetan shot. When you step on a toenail, you need a fucking shot to the base of your brain. You need someone to fucking put a con in your head.

You need a circular saw at the very least. Yeah, you got to go full zombie movie and just chop it off. off. I always say that nail clippings aren't that gross, but whatever. He goes, which is weird in itself to be done in a gym. I always say. I do. I always say, I've told people for $5,000, $5,000, I'll do it.

It used to be $200. Can you stop saying stuff like this? It makes people think you're struggling and you're in a bad place when you start saying. I'm fine. But for $5,000, if you bake the cake and you put like four toenails in it, I would eat the cake. I'll do it for four. thousand. I'm five. I'm not going below five. Five is a difference maker for me. But I wouldn't bother me either way. It's like a hair in your food. It would be harder to eat a whole cake than it would. I'd

rather just eat four toenail clippings. Man, my stomach hurts from the toenails. No, I haven't eaten a whole cake in a long time. Do the other one that I saw that was very comp. There's two, I'll just go to two more things that I found very common. People do apparently, regularly enough that it comes up shave their balls in the sink that's crazy and the and another thing is now this was interesting if there was ever a confrontation if if the original post was about a confrontation and people were helping you out and they're saying like you know some of them were like I'll fucking you know tell them to go outside and then someone or like just ignore them you know what i mean like there would be all these normal things and then

there would always be like like half of the responses it's like well go stand over there where he's working out and just cut a fucking nasty fart and that i found to be the fact that it's so common because of the protein powder yeah they've all got them they've all got them in the chamber ready to go the nastiest ones you can imagine and they're on like the most synthetic pre-workout drinks too that are like, yeah, it's got deer antler velvet in it. By the way,

I quickly looked up deer antler and the form that is used as a supplement is called deer antler velvet. And that really sounds insane. It seems like a tear of swingers. Yeah. Okay, finally, there's one last gym thing we got to cover.

And that is from Quora. And it goes, how does, how long, and this is a huge gym thing. All gym guys will identify. with this. Even me who went to a gym for a year. How long does it take to cancel a planet fitness membership? Well, this is a famous thing from like popular culture even, right? Right. Even if you don't go to the gym,

you know that gyms are hard to cancel, hard to get out. It's like a joke thing now even. Uh, they drove this man crazy who he's a former probation officer. Okay. He goes, and, and I'll, you know, I went into into all caps. It's the club where I signed up. I, and then in all caps, went in person so I could sign for cancellation. I'd been going close to two years, black card. I think that means you can go to anyone, right? Because when I signed up, I also signed and allowed them to take monthly dues straight for my checking account on the 17th of each month.

I'd been a member for over a year, so there was no cancellation fee. Anyway, I went in person to cancel on December 9, 2022. One worker said... When's the post from? a year ago. So he's writing it right about that time. He goes, anyway, I went in person cancel on December 9th.

One worker said, you can still come in the rest of December. Another worker said, nope, tomorrow's the 10th, our cutoff date. Super confusing. But ask for a printout showing I'm canceled. They said the printer was not working.

That's classic. It's so good. These gym guys are really doing some slapstick comedy style shit here where they're just like, you know. They're pretending to walk downstairs, like behind a window and shit like that. I'm just doing, yeah. He goes, big business and the printer's not working. They did say, so printers don't work anywhere.

They did say I would receive an email. I did receive an email that stated pending cancel. Request date December 17th, 22, and this was December 9th. I was expecting to see canceled December 9th. This was even more confusing. My smartphone still had the. app on it, which... That is really confusing.

The app doesn't automatically delete. Yeah. When you go to quit person, they go, give me your phone and they like delete the app. Yeah. My first thought was that they're trying to trick the customer to sign in, which would blow away the cancellation. Oh. Might not be wrong.

Might not be wrong. He goes, I've been dealing with businesses a long time. And not the... That's such a bad ass life. I've been dealing with businesses for a long time. Like everybody, every single person has been dealing with businesses for a long time. I've been dealing with businesses for a very long time. That's so funny.

To me, pending cancel is not the same as cancel. Is there a difference in dead and pending dead? I did go back. Yeah, but that's like a whole different. Philosophical question. I did go back in and talk with a female desk person. At first, she tried to stop me from talking so she could. talk. I explained the cancellation and the facility. Sorry. First, she tried to stop me from talking so she could

talk so this guy would not shut up. That's fucking crazy to come with that. Like this guy, she, she would not let me talk. I would not let her. He's just copying the saying like, she eventually was like, sir, you need to let me speak. Can I just, sorry. Sir. Yeah, no, yeah. No, and I'm just, yeah. And I was going to, and I, no, and I will cover that. Yeah. No, sorry. If you could just please. Like, yeah, she was just like, just, sir, please, you know, and then finally. She has the answer and she's trying to express the answer to him. He's just like, and these companies are like, you know, as far, ever since, you know, everything changed when, you know, like he's got all these. He's just rambling, full ramble.

You got, I explained that the cancellation and the facility call on it pending cancel, she kept saying it was the same thing as cancel. I said for me, it was not the same thing. I asked for a printout showing I was canceled. and she said the printer was not working. Well, yeah, you know that. Same printer's not working. You know that, man. What do you think they got a printer guy in and fixed it already?

Give me a break. She also said I could still work out until January, 2023. But when another person was looking at the computer, she changed it and said, last day is December 10th. It feels like the, he goes, it wasn't until December 23rd, 2020, that my phone app no longer allowed me to sign in or check in. I check my bank account all the time to see if. they withdraw after pending cancel.

Yeah, brother. They went Brian mode on the bank account. Just a constant checking of the bank account. Not anymore, by the way. But yeah, that's a, I think of you. But that's the function of comfort. You know what I?

And now he's got a few PSs. I just don't trust Planet Fitness. I don't trust their desk manager business card when no one has seen that manager in person. Oh, whoa. Does this guy even exist? He goes, I don't trust that no one working there. knows corporate office phone number number two i don't trust that's that is funny in closing here are the things i don't trust about planet fitness it's like brother we have stopped reading this

only a fucking podcast host is this deep into your fucking post he goes i don't trust their printer's not working i don't trust does it really say that yeah it does so they think that they're like they're they're they're pretending like the printer's working fine and that this is like part of the yeah they're like all the printer's broken unfortunately you're going to have to come back in another time if you want to print out because they don't like what does he need a printout for like that's such a funny layer of like so you can hold a piece of paper in front of like the 19 year old who works the counter like oh yeah it could be an older person maybe because i do an older person an older person does love to have something printed out like you know

like they're like what doesn't it's meaningless meaningless on the computer on the phone or whatever. I need a fucking printed out copy of. I never feel older when I like to read off printed things. And then even now wanting to wait until I'm at my laptop or desktop to respond or do something, I'm like, oh, I'll hit it later when I'm at my computer. And everyone's like, aren't you on your phone right now? I'm like, yeah, but I hate using it for stuff like this.

And they're like, you're so old. And I'm like, God, using a fucking high powered laptop is old. Like tech is moving at a rate where I am ready. to fucking die. It's honestly old to sit at your computer at any point during the day that you're not talking into a microphone. It's the only time you should be at your computer. Yeah.

Like the oldest, the oldest most elderly thing you can do is surf the web on a desktop. I know. And it's like my favorite pastime. Yeah, going on your websites or whatever. It's so much easier for me to type on a keyboard than it is on my phone. And like people just,

that makes me sound like, I prefer. cursive, you know? Like it's the modern version of like, I speak old English. People are just like, what the fuck is wrong with you, you asshole? It's like, I drink out of the friggin' water hose.

Oh, dude. I used to be able to just ride my bike with my friends and my parents never even knew where I was. We used to just ride our bikes, drink from a fire hose, play tag, and fucking yell slurs. Drink from a fire hose. Fire hose. our parents didn't care

if we drank out of the fire hose back in the day you used to drink out of a fire hose dude now if you do it I'll blow your fucking head off all right that guy's cancel ends with if you cancel

do it before the 10th is that's their cutoff date once you go into cancel do not do not check into your account for any reason after the 10th unless you want your account to stay open and charged. I think the 10th is your can't date, sir.

I don't think it's based on your start date. I don't think it's across all accounts. This guy alone. Look at how busy that day would be at the gym. How busy that day would be in December 10th when everybody's thing renewed. Also, I love Brian. Give this guy a break. Go easy on him.

You picked it. You read it to us on your podcast about guys. And now you're like, hey, I think when you're, you're trying to float one of your own post says like you're like you're throwing it out to us of like yeah is this guy this guy's actually kind of right i'm waiting for that to happen where brian is just like reads a post or whatever we're going to go now but i will say this i got an email yesterday that said your review has 100 views on it now what what review i looked and apparently i reviewed an urgent care center and said that i thought the doctor was so great that i wish he was my primary

care physician. Dude, I got an email like that too because I got my watch repaired somewhere and the lady asked me to do a Google review in front of me and she's like, I'll knock the tax off and I was like, oh, that'll save me like $15. Let me do it right now. And now it's the only review

on my Google account and people constantly message me like, hey, did you review a watch thing? And I'm like, why? Because it's got like your picture in it too, because it's a Google review. And now it's like a picture. And like now it's like I'm vouching for like a random watch repair lady

he's like in this building in LA and I'm like I seem fucking crazy me too like anytime I see a review I'm like what do you mean that's your favorite doctor you've ever had and you wish he was your prime like I don't remember that doctor at all like this was a

2023 when whatever happened he might have he probably told you you can keep eating candy he told me sweet tart ropes are perfectly fine. Yeah, you sent some shit like that to you and you're like, this guy is the man. I better review this guy ASAP.

He loves candy like me. Well, that is the gym guys episode and it's fun to have Gabris on every fucking possible chance we can. Oh, dude, I fucking love coming on here even more than you love having me. Trust me. This is like my favorite shit. I love to do it. I love the pod.

I'm happy to always chop it up with you too. I'm happy to just listen to you, talk to other freaks about this stuff. so of course I'm into being on it so thank you it is fun and you uh what tell people where to find you as if they wouldn't fucking know I love it when guys do that as if they wouldn't know as if they don't already know I know well because you do feel weird like when you have like like having scott Ackerman on your podcast you're like and would you like to plug comedy bang bang where I got my start you know what I mean like it makes no sense but uh I got a podcast called action boys it's a patreon podcast but we also have free episodes at free. That actionboys. Biz, listen, get hooked, et cetera. And then also I have 30 episodes of the Gino Lombardo show

that I compiled all on a full three-season arc that I compiled on a collectible fake cassette tape with a USB drive in it. And you could buy that at gino.gabris.com. It's so cool. You got to order that thing. He brought us, and it's the fucking coolest thing. I was like,

we want to do one now. Yeah, Brian, as soon as you're just like, yeah, we got to do this. This is such a, like, we'll do like cassette guys or something like that or like something. I'm so obsessed with jerky boys. It all stems from that. Like I even mocked.

I even like, the artist hired like a Long Island graphic designer to make it for me. And the design we came up with was like, I wanted to be like the jerky boys cover. And it is like a mock up, like a knockoff of that. Yeah, sweet. I can only imagine Chris based on your

pre-guise career as a legendary prank. might have been a jerky boys fan. Oh, a huge jerky boys fans. A huge jerky boys. No one. Sal and Richard, Sal and Richard and the jerky boys were my, that's who I loved doing the prank calls. Yeah, Action Boys is great.

We're actually, I think we're also, we're going to have your co-ho from Action Boys on the pod. We're just talking about it. Yeah, he's coming on as well. So anyways, yeah, check out Gaberson everything that he does. And you guys already love him. And, yeah, Gene. I mean, Gino Lombardo, it's from comedy bang, bang, for those of you guys who don't know.

It's the best thing. It's the best thing. It's the best thing. It's really a shocktober adjacent fucking thing for sure. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Also, I, uh, Brian, we'll plan this off, but based on today's conversation, I, I think I'm going to come to town for the Arnold classic. So we should do a, we should do a live show or we should, uh, record a pod, IRL or something like that.

But we got to go to the fucking. Brian loves the Arnold. classic he talks about it all the time when it comes to town it's all he's talking about the whole time the the bathrooms are just fantastic the action boys are trying to maybe set up a live show for around the uh arnold classic and we could do like an arnold movie and we should you should come on as a guest if we end up doing a live one thousand percent we will see you all next week goodbye bye bye