Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 152 - Pyro Guys with Tom Walker

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

It is the festive season so we had our friend Tom Walker from bigsofttitty.png on the show to talk about a very topical type of guy for the week of New Years , It's pyro guys. How much are these guys spending? How annoying are their neighbors who whine about noise? Should you get premier status at the fireworks store or just drive by and flip them off?  There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Welcome to guys, the podcast about guys. Boom, I'm Brian. Chris is here. He said boom twice. Boom. Three times. Yep. I might even say it more times in this episode. Boom. Yesterday I was like prepping this episode and I was like, I don't know if I'm going to get it done. And then I found the magic search term for fireworks guys, pyro guys. And believe me, we got some good stuff. And our guest this week, Tom Walker. Tom. Hello. It's so great to be here and find out the, uh, the guy right now. I didn't know until yesterday. So I didn't know until just when I came into the room. Oh, nice one. I, uh, even, that's okay. Even when he said pyro guy, I was a little unclear because I didn't think fireworks. I was thinking people who like light fires or whatever. I thought about that, but I figured that's a mental disorder. And I don't think so. I think we should get into business of doing podcasts. Yeah, I think people who go.

around and light businesses and homes and stuff on fire for no reason whatsoever. The guy who was generating like computer generated images of like cities on fire all the time. Dude, I did find out. I did find out a really cool thing that like guys make their own fireworks displays on the computer and there's like a contest for it. So they can, which isn't as cool as making them in your backyard. Obviously, you guys wouldn't know. I mean, I don't know the laws over there, Tom, but Chris isn't allowed to have fireworks. We have one city.

We have one city in Australia where you're allowed to have fireworks. And it's also our seat of government. And it's crazy that that has not led to a complete overthrow of the established order. But yeah, that's the one place where explosives are legal. I'll tell you, I grew up with a guy that really loved fireworks. And you're not going to guess which guy it was. Can I guess? Yeah.

Was it porno shot? Yeah. Okay. Always had so many because his dad was a truck driver. Oh, so he would. And why? Because that would just mean he would go to places that had fireworks and bring him back. Well, back in the day in Ohio, it was only smoke bombs back when I was younger.

It was stupid. These laws. What we do is we disappear in a cloud of smoke after jumping somebody before their reinforcement showed up. Brian Thurray and throw. throwing down one of those things and you just see the red light of his thumb as he disappears. Well, you would go to, you would go to the grocery store. They sold him at the grocery store.

But you would have to drive to Pennsylvania or Indiana to get actual fireworks. So he's driving in and out of the state. He's buying fireworks all the time. And he hides him in the house. And then he goes and leaves to do his work. And Sean finds him and we go out, ride him in the yard when he's not around. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I would, we would have to go down to, like, people have fireworks.

I don't know what the laws are now, but you're not allowed to have them there at all. When we were, when we were younger, you'd go down to the United States, to Washington State. You'd drive there to a place called Lummey Island was a name, which was like a native reservation that sold fireworks. And that was like, it was just a legendary place, Lummi Island. And yeah, that you would have to go down or know someone that could get down there to get them. So that was like at our, at a younger age, that was nearly impossible. So there'd be guys that would go down there and they'd be selling them. and making like good money, you know,

because they could sell a huge, sell them for a huge premium. They're popular fireworks. I have to say. Like I was reading. They're one of those few things that make people like look up in the sky. Yes. Yeah.

And I'm not, I mean, I think people who have dogs, which I do and I grew up with them. Like they, they fuck with dogs so bad. And so if you love your dog, it's hard to be like,

yeah, man, this is awesome when he's just having the worst time of his entire life. And so, yeah, it has made me kind of not like, like fireworks, but when I was younger, I did like lighting them off, having Roman candle fights where you're shooting each other with Roman candles and stuff like that.

We used to have bottle rocket wars. We would fuck each other up a bottle rocket's like crazy out in the woods. We go out in the woods and shoot bottle rackets at each other. Now, Tom, now I have a question for you. This is, I'm not like, is, I usually I'm like, hey, do you have this up in Australia? And I'm doing a whole, you know, but do you really? Did you guys do that when you were younger? Were you like doing that with firecrackers and fireworks?

No, I was a cowardly good boy. and didn't have access to fireworks. So I was, anytime you ask what I was doing as a child, I was inside. You were inside. And fireworks inside very deep. You don't want to be lighting off inside.

We did that a couple times we got in trouble for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bad thing. It makes sense. We never used shooting fireworks,

but you know, you light a firecracker, throw it at somebody. That's kind of funny when they're just sitting on the couch because they're not expecting it at all. Yeah, if it's one of those little ones,

like the little Mighty Mites or whatever, like a Black Cat. Mighty Mites or whatever, black cat, we would do that definitely. You throw it up in the air in a house or whatever, and it just kind of explodes in the air and scares everybody. But Tom, were other people doing it?

And it just wasn't you, like, did you, was that something that you would hear outside? You would have to get like, yeah, every now and then, but it'd be always people, like, lighting it off during the day. Because I feel like you have the interesting intersection of, like, delinquent enough to want to buy fireworks, but also, like, in trouble enough that you're not allowed out at night. And so it's just people letting off fireworks. during the day to no acclaim.

Like, you know, there's a reason the fireworks display is at night. The fireworks display during the day is competing with the sun. I mean, the sun, absolute smoke show. You got to buy smoke for that. It's been doing it for years. I learned about that today. I learned to what to do with it today. What?

You buy smoke, so you blot out the sun so your fireworks look better? Different colored smokes. Oh, I see. That's what you do in the daytime. You do different colored smokes. Yeah, I mean, like I was just in a, listen, and shout out to the white caps. Who knows what's happened.

We're recording this way ahead. But I was in like one of those big, you know, we were marching down the street and they had all the different colored flags. And all the colors intersecting. And that looks pretty cool, I will say. Like I did enjoy that. Is that what you're talking about, right? Yeah.

I'll tell you what I saw today before we get to the fireworks guys. And, and listen, it almost turned me into a fireworks guy. I was losing my mind. Now, I bought a shitload of fireworks like 10 years ago. What for? to have. Because I thought it would be nice to have them. Did you have like a time coming up?

You were going to deploy them or was it just like, I'm going to... You live in the city. You live in the city. I know. We were driving by phantom fireworks on the way back from a state park outside of Columbus. And it's fireworks. You had no day in mind where you're going to light them off. No.

And I had this chest of fireworks. It was a crazy amount of the worst fireworks too because they were like busy. spinny bees and whatever. I don't remember. There were spinny bee fireworks. I'll have the cheapest biggest fire hazard you have. You walked in. Yeah, why did you buy the bad ones?

I'm talking about the good ones. But I lit those off. But I got bored with them so fast. You lit them off where like what do you mean? You lit them. In my yard. Like oh, in your yard. But you're in the city.

Yeah, you're like you're in the city. Right. We'd just go into the street and do it. Okay. Pugh. That's why my name. hated me. I told you. I used to have a neighbor that hated my guts because I'd smoke weed on the porch and throw fireworks out the door.

I hated my guts. What a piece of shit that guy. I yelled at him one time too for it. And I think about it now. And I'm like, well, yeah, I kind of get it. You had two kids and one was a, family. I had a kid too. That's what he would say to me. That's what he would say to me. He's like, I got kids. And I was like, I got one over here too. Oh, that's. such a like he's like he thinks he's getting through to you maybe with the kids thing and then you're just like I got what as well he's like oh no he doesn't understand what I'm talking about you and he's looking at you through two different kinds of smoke both coming from your house I feel bad about that guy because I really hated his fucking guts and it probably was partially my how old were you at the time

he's a 12 30 something into 30 something oh man that was a brutal adjustment you're just a you're just a I was going to say in my 20s, but that couldn't be true. Because of where I lived. You were just like a young, sort of whippersnap for 36, 37 years old. Just sort of figuring it. Just finding his way in the world. You can understand, Tom, you know how it was.

Wait, you're not even that old yet, are you? If there's someday, Tom, and then you'll realize, like, you don't even know what's going on at 36, 37. You don't understand that other people are living their own life, and they're like, you know, and then you grow up and you matured. I don't have access to their interiority. I don't understand that that guy,

I was like, oh, that guy, I'm actually doing him a favor. He hasn't lit off a firework or smoked weed on his porch once while I've been in here because I'm doing it enough for both of us. And I love it, so he must love it as well. Yeah.

And so I'm doing it for him also, yeah. I was probably like 33, 34. I wasn't 36. I wasn't past 35. Oh, shit. So you were a fucking baby. You were a baby.

You are a baby. I went to R slash fire. You could have still made it in the NBA, man. Yeah. Honestly, you were like barely driving at that point. This guy goes on R slash fireworks and he goes, caution, do not buy or use hot fireworks complex brands, white smoke five minutes smoke tube.

It smoked for 30 seconds. Then the core shot out of the tube and exploded on my shin, causing second degree burns. See, I feel like this is going to be a lot of grapes. these people have, right? Is that I was injured pretty severely by this super dangerous firework that's illegal or whatever in a lot of places. Hey guys, I have terrible news about playing with fire.

It's basically bombed. Literally bombed. Some of these guys. Guys, my explosives have fulfilled a promise. Yeah, this is going to be a three-star. Yeah, this is going to be a three-star review from me. The bomb actually exploded right in my head. typing it with one finger.

There are guys flying over to China and making wholesale orders and having them shit over here. Yeah. I mean, China is where the big, that's where the firework. They got the best fireworks. They got the best stuff, right? I remember, sorry, I remember we would have the festival of lights that I've said before. It was sponsored by Benson and Hedges, got me into cigarette smoking. Yeah, it got me into cigarette smoking at the time because they allowed them to sponsor the

firework thing. But yeah, China was always head and shoulder. They were super good. Like they had the best display always. Yeah. Of course. Well, there's only one reply to this and it's a guy says not to be insensitive, but let's see some picks. So the guy didn't post any picks for some

reason. But yeah, so one of the things I was going to do through this episode was I ended up on a thread where people were talking about how much they spent on fireworks this year. and I wanted to like go to it every once in a while.

Yeah, it's expensive as hell, isn't it? It's more than you think. Like that's the fucking thing with it. It's like you're probably sitting here thinking like, that's probably like eight hundred bucks. Oh, that's hot. I wasn't even thinking that. That's very high.

That is surprised that. That's more than I had allocated to my fireworks budget. I was just going to say, oh, they'll only do, but I guess they're doing 4th of July. They're doing like Halloween New Year's. Some white guys will do Diwali, which is like an idiot. Guys are getting really, really multicultural. Firework guys are just like looking for celebration. Pass up is just around the corner, I say, is I fucking drive back from the fireworks store like sorcerer.

Like my whole truck primed to explain. load. Wow. Honey, Honey, I did not realize that I married such a close-minded individual. You're not going to celebrate Diwali. Like he's giving it to his wife. He's like,

can we stop by so many fireworks? Here's a guy that the first guy, he responds. He goes, I spent about 5,000 on fireworks, but only shot 2,500 in my show. I added another 500 for igniters, and my total cost was 3,000 out of pocket for the show.

I have a little over 4,000 in equipment. Wait, wait. Sorry, this is someone different, though. This is someone doing it commercially. They're saying the show. So they were doing like some show. No, no, no, no. That, see, that you might think that.

But guys put on their own shows here. Oh, because I was thinking the way he's describing it, it sounds like this is some sort of official sanctioned event that he's maybe part of his job or something. Are you bringing to me and Chris the idea of a fireworks open mic circuit? I mean, the 4th of July Memorial Day, which Memorial Day is not a fireworks holiday. day, but I found that they all loved the light off fireworks on Memorial Day. Yeah.

And then you got your 4th of July, you got your New Year's Eve, birthdays, is it not Halloween? DeWaleigh. It's not Halloween? Because Halloween is a big one here. I saw a few. I saw a few. It's getting creep into Halloween now these days. Okay.

But I guess 4th of July would be the big one, right? Like that would be the biggest one probably in America. Fourth of July is the day. Yeah, yeah. The day these guys live for, this guy goes, uh, I went pretty big this year, almost $3,000 myself. I did two wholesale orders. Got really in the mood looking at stuff.

Wife wanted to go to the mood. Yeah. And the mood to light fireworks. Oh, great. My husband's browsing an audience and saying boom, muttering kabum to himself under his breath. Muttering. Coo.

Chee. Oh, my gosh. I mean, listen. I guess if you got into fireworks, it would be dangerous, right? Because then you start looking at it and it's like describing what it is and you start like imagining seeing that like in person and hearing the like, oh, it would be so easy to rip these guys off for so much money. A little later on we're going to talk about a little guys getting ripped on.

This guy goes, I've been shopping since late March, early April and I've spent somewhere around eight to nine thousand dollars. I lost track after the four. trip to the store, definitely my biggest show yet. We can't say a show. Are you sure? I promise you. I'll show you the picture of the guy's garage kitchen that it's happening. So when he says a show, he's doing it for his neighborhood. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is this is so much crazier than I was expecting it. Jesus Christ. You guys, it looks like a warehouse almost like it. It looks like a warehouse almost like it

It sort of looks like a small warehouse. There's a kitchen table and a TV and stuff. Everything's been moved to his side. Everything's been moved to the side. So he's had to clear everything out. The furniture has had to be moved out of the way to display all of this. Something I like is the little, uh, the little, uh, just errant firecracker packages that are in the, that are like on the ground. I keep noticing things further in the background that are still fireworks.

Like the box is far in the background that you think like, oh, that's just like part of the furniture. No, that's fireworks. Yeah, there's some fireworks in the back there. And they look like small boxes, but it's, of course, they're just further back. They're also large boxes. Yeah, the consistent lines of the boxes let you keep the idea of size pretty steady. The one, one is called blood money.

I just saw one that literally said. We're going to play a firework name game later on. Okay, because that was, that one stuck out to me. It had a bunch of blood all over the packaging. It's a blood money. There are some good one. There's a lot of Trump ones, by the way. Okay.

Yeah, because I guess because it's patriotic, right? I suppose. So they're doing it like, okay, the neighborhood's getting together. They're doing maybe a barbecue for the fourth and then they're putting it on for the, that's the whole idea. I don't think they're inviting the neighborhood to, I think they're going to the neighbor's house and saying, I'm going to do my show this year. But do you know, why they're inviting them to watch, right? Sure. I mean, I'm going to do my show this year.

But I don't think they're saying, do you mind if I do my show this year. year. Oh, no. I think that I think probably like, I don't know, maybe some people hate it, but I would imagine in a lot of these neighborhoods, it's like some of the other guys are also excited about it too, right? Well, let's read this post here. Let's read this post here. I think you'll like. My neighbor definitely hates me now.

Put on a small show for my family and friends at my house, always friendly with my neighbor six years now. So told him him and his family can come out and watch. You're allowed to come outside. You're allowed to. come out and watch. I'm not going to start anything with you with your family if you come out. You're actually allowed, it's probably better for you to get out of the house because that way,

if something happens to your house, you can identify what it is from the outside. And it's like you don't want to get trapped in there if there's some sort of a thing. I don't know what your fire situation is. So it's just best to be outside and deal. Few mortars cakes and ended with one one colossus and some mortars fuse together. A mortar is some well-known type of. Yeah, mortars are the big ones.

They're like them. You know what I'm talking about? Jesus Christ. Yeah, boom and he's casually like a couple of mortars. Those are like huge explosions. Yes, very big explosions. He goes, uh, this was all lit in the middle of my front yard. Go get my home.

It was on my property, which directly adjoins his. And it was using the oil, this spreading fog. I mean, I mean, the idea, it's like, these are so big when they get out into the sky, right? So it's like, yes, it's shooting up in your property. But then it's like going out over top of everyone else's. And the noise is the big thing, I think, probably, right? Well, I don't, yeah, I don't mean to sound leftist, but I do believe that the sky belongs to us all. And you are setting it on fire.

He goes, uh, this was all lit in the middle of my front yard. I got my hose to bring it out to water everything down. I asked my neighbor how he liked it and got wasn't worth it. My brand new roof is ruined. Pool covers probably ruined. Got to go check for fires. Sent his wife an apology and said I'd come over tomorrow and clean up anything and sorry for the mess.

Got left on red. Oh, well, that colossos was absolutely badass. Need five more. That's brutal, man. That's the person you have to live beside for the rest of your life possibly. And now you've just ruined your entire relationship with them. And maybe that person's maybe overreacting a little bit, but I don't know, maybe not. I don't know if there was actual damn.

If it actually showered his home with fire, that this is such a fucking Homer Simpson, Ned Flanders. This is such a Homer Simpson type thing to do to set off the big firework and have the wind push all the fire onto your neighbor's house and pool. Well, this guy goes, it's extremely unlikely you ruin. his roof and pool cover. Either he's a whiny bitch or you left out like a billion important beads of information. It's very nice you'd offer to clean up their yard, however.

I suspect they're taking advantage of you. Yeah, take it a little bit. It's probably some elaborate, ploy to get you to clean the yard up. Free labor. I could smell people looking for free labor a mile away. They could tell because this guy's donated his time to this fireworks show. They smell an easy mark. You've shown you a soft belly

And now they can identify They can take you for all your worth You're just gonna be over there And you're worth quite a bit Probably judging by how much You spent on this firework display I hope you're worth quite a bit Otherwise you're putting your family into death

Yeah the OPE comes back He's definitely being dramatic The slight breeze was towards his house But nothing went bad with anything Blowing up on the roof of his car I just know next year they're gonna They're going out back Where my trees will block his view

Oh, I'm going to go outside. So you can't see them now. What he's going to see? How big are the trees? How tall are these trees that you have? And then if they're that tall, are you lighting a fireworks beside them?

Is that being? Letting the fireworks directly into the shrubbery just to make my bitch neighbor happy. I don't, I don't think that's going to make him happy either, right? Necessarily, I think that like, I don't know, maybe this is some big,

like it's, you know, like a huge property type situation. But the way I'm picturing it, it doesn't really make that much of a difference if you're in the backyard or the front yard. I even would have moved if he would have asked. But I got claps from all the other neighbors, so I'm happy at the end of the day. Everyone clapped. Everybody clapped.

This next guy goes, who the fuck still has their pool covered on the 4th of July? Oh, yeah. There's the first red flag. Good question. Yeah. No, he's in the pool on the fourth? Come on, man. Potty foul.

Potty foul. this guy's clearly lying he wasn't swimming during my fireworks display and this guy goes his roof is fine what a baby there's always one karen there is always one karen at the fireworks show this guy goes i shot a pyromusical last night with 3,000 shots a couple clay club did he shot a what is you shot a what now pyromusical so that's a fireworks display set to music if i had to get yes but again this isn't it This is something that's being done unofficially. This is not they're writing their own sort of playlist and syncing it up with it, just sort of in an amateur kind of way.

This isn't a city thing. No. No, this is just a guy. Brian, I was not prepared for this at all. The level of creativity that's coming out here is really something. And the level of creativity and investment are both really fucking me up. I had no idea. He goes, 200, he goes, a couple clay plugs landed on a neighbor's driveway, 250 feet away, and they're bitching up a storm about it.

Some people are just unreasonable and ignorant. So I shot some stuff at you. So my explosions landed near your driveway, which you probably was standing upon. Yeah, you didn't get a hit with a projectile or anything. Yet? Trust me. You wouldn't be talking to me right now if you did. All right, because I think is coming from way high up and real fast.

This guy goes, I had a couple small cones. My neighbor ran out and turned his house on full blast, acting like I'm going to burn his house down. I live in a communist state, so it's cones for me. Oh, where? Probably California. Where their law is safe and sane. And these guys. It's because of all of the forest fires, I would imagine.

It's, yeah, because the state almost burned down. I think that I'm just an ignorant guy, but I would assume it has something to do with that. It's like the dry conditions, the lack of rain that they get and stuff like that. It's like, can be an issue. The law is called safe and sane, right? And there's not a lot. Fuck that shit. Yeah, they are mad.

They hate it. They use it in such derisive terms. You would never believe. They had, like, I look at the symbol for it. And it would be like, oh, when you see this, you'd turn and run the other way because these guys make their own fireworks. I haven't gotten to that. yet, but some of these guys are making their own fireworks at their house. Okay.

And lighting them off. Nice. He goes, a full grown man running around afraid a minion cone was going to burn his house down was hilarious. His name was Kevin. It's a small cone with googly eyes on it. I hate that neighbor. All them are assholes and moved in two years ago.

Don't even worry about it. Hopefully they move. I know my neighbors won't. We've lived here a decade. Usually the other two neighbors come out of their houses and watch them and enjoy. them clapping and saying that was great it's all kid stuff essentially and they love it I miss old people so this guy mad at the Kevin he gave him he gave us his first name that's how mad he was I thought there was going to be some reason why he was saying like he was going to bring him up later

he's like I might as well tell you that one guy's name is Kevin just going to reference him later whatever but he did and he just wanted us to know his name yeah and this guy this is the last guy you're going to love this one sounds like a good show to me and yeah Colossus is legit definitely a showstopper wish i was your neighbor and don't trip on your neighbor super over dramatic and his wife probably beats him behind closed doors hot oh yeah i live oh yeah most likely whenever i see somebody like you know like they seem to be kind of like not vibing with me i'm like he must be getting you know abused he probably got his ass bait and that's why he's not fiving with me. That's probably why he's not chill.

I am looking at a video of the of the colossus firework. Yeah. Yeah. Is it is it is it impressive? It is like a professional grade. Can you play it for me please, Brian? Yeah, give me it's 228 shot. It's 220 shots here. Hold on. It five 228 times man. And so it's just like it's just when you want it to stop it ain't gonna stop for a long time okay not do the noise but no I want to hear the

noise a little bit don't go this is oh it's just this is like it's an entire display how this is like it's yeah the stuff is shoot yeah it's like a full it like has a whole this is like oh my god this like something I would see at the at the like beach when I would go look at the fireworks yeah you can buy that. You can just buy that now. Yeah, two minutes and 49 seconds of fireworks. This is what these guys are doing.

They're setting off this for three minutes like in their neighborhoods just beside like this is outrageous. You also picturing it as like one big like few. One one huge big like a pretty big boom, but just the one explosion with like the. I pictured what it turned out to be times 228. turned out that it was what I thought it was times 220. That's just one thing though. That's like one of the things in their show. So how long?

So these things are going on for like 20 minutes or something maybe. Half hour, 45 minutes, I think. So you buy. You buy that. That house had a bunch of colossus-sized stuff in it that I showed you the picture of. Oh my God. Like all that stuff is boxes of fireworks. I'm so glad that we, listen, I'm not a big laws guy.

I'm not a big laws guy But listen Finding this out I am so happy That they do not allow that to happen In my fine country of Canada here Because holy shit That sounds like a nightmare

You just happen to have a neighbor Who's like yeah I'm doing 17 colossuses in a row this year For my show And it's just like What the fuck man Like that my whole night Is gonna be ruined

I just remember Being a teenager And every year Sean having more and more like commercial grade fireworks as as we got older and older so you guys were doing this type of shit this level yeah yeah yeah not that no because we could have never bought the colossus you know what i mean people did do it in the neighborhood every now and then i remember but it was like it went on for like three minutes and it was just like a couple you know it was such a shitty little and it was so

infrequent as well yeah this guy here's another thing about this is this thread is title dealing with neighbors. Given that most of you guys are doing huge-ass blowouts, I'm guessing most of you don't live in town. I'm in the burbs. And after spying on the local Facebook group, all the whiny neighbor babies are saying that they're going to report the first firecracker they're here. Is this the case with you guys? How are you all dealing with neighbors who claim that their dog is scared? Mine don't care or their kids are scared. Wait, wait, what did they say? Mine don't care. I've never, I've never met a dog. Maybe they're right, but every single dog I've ever had cares a lot and it cares is so horrified by it like mylo who i have is my dog now he is just

you know he gets so fucking scared you guys think this guy's empathetic to his dog i think this might be a situation where as soon as the fireworks stuck it and set off he's not looking anywhere but up and so he's kind of immune to the uh the fear around him i find it hard to believe this guy's world extends to anything but fireworks in that beautiful moment you're right that's such a good point that his dog could be in the most distress it's ever been in and then he wouldn't know he would have no idea because he's watching the colossus or whatever he's watching a colossus which has a noise rating of eight out of 10 uh on epic fireworks that's only an eight that's only an eight yeah there are bigger ones for sure uh this guy goes and he goes or their kids are scared again same his kids don't care

i don't have a lot of some kids are different than other kids not all my kids are all kind of actually. My kids and dog are weirdly inured to loud noises. Yeah. And they just kind of do this cool thing where they shake back and forth. Your kids should look into that. My smart kids don't care. Your stupid son doesn't know what a firework is. He's, he hates the noise. So much. He goes, I don't have a lot of stuff to set off, but I sent up a few rockets the other night and raise some hackles. Do I really have to go find an empty field to set stuff off? Is everybody turned into a giant, goddamn whiny baby or what sorry want to go boom can't go boom so there you go uh i mean that's just come on come on and listen i don't want to sound like a real like old i know i know but like

i mean in the middle of the city where a bunch of people are it's just fucking insane to be lighting out big ass fireworks i'm sorry it just is man like whatever like a little fucking like lighting out bottle rocket or so you know like whatever that's like one thing but these type of thing that we are learning about. I think it's, it seems like the crazy, like, it seems like how would you be allowed to do that? It seems like you can't be allowed to do that. This guy goes, fuck them and burn. Let them call the cops. Yeah. I mean, hey, if that's how you want to go about your life, where you're just constantly having fucking constant fucking showdowns with the police over stupid fucking meaningless shit. Yeah. Add it to the file. I think, and I think the, I think the,

thing is Chris, like, it's partly like, yeah, you don't want to be like, oh, you know, it feels cummogenely to be like, oh, this guy shouldn't be setting off these fireworks. But I think an inescapable thing also is like the fireworks are being set off by the kind of guy who'd spend several thousand dollars on fireworks. And it's like, oh, you shouldn't, I don't like you setting those off. I also don't particularly like living next to the fireworks room. Like, oh, yeah. I don't feel that and, you know, just the impulse control that you're demonstrating there. I mean, you know, we could get porno Sean the guy who's interested in porno and fireworks onto maybe your dopamine fast just for a little. I could get him on some books or something.

Yeah, you're right. It's like even just knowing that like I live right next door, every night I sleep right next door to this guy who like wants to blow stuff up so fucking bad to make the explosion so bad that he's like spending a lot of his money on that. that is a scary thing on its own, even if you just, hey, we're doing the fireworks show, I guess we'll go out and do dinner that night, right? He gives you a warning and then you say, hey, we're going to go out to dinner and you could probably avoid it if it's only four or five times a year or whatever. I live next to a stage hazard. My children go to bed, like with their heads like 10 feet away from the red barrel that Bond Henschman crouch behind. Like, it's not good, dude. I got to show you guys this one garage here when I can find.

I'm looking for it now. But I'll read this next guy. He goes, he goes, L.O. I have people complain that I was lighting firecrackers when it was crackling whip safe and sane fireworks. So they were still fireworks. It was just the safe and sane ones. Okay.

Gives shit. And he goes, makes me want to bust out ground salutes to show them what a real firecracker sounds like. They're going to complain regardless. So this guy. Hey, if I'm going to. get the complaint anyway anyways i might as well earn it you haven't even seen the worst of me i think you'll find i'm way more anti-social than this yeah here's another hall and uh you search hall h-a-u-l on r slash fireworks and this is one of a guy's living room it looks like cases of beer it looks like

a beer and like a for like it looks like uh yeah it looks like a commercial stockhouse of cases of beer. Like this is what I would expect to see at a, I would say a fireworks store in like March. Like the rush hasn't hit. This is so insane because there's so many duplicates in there like he's got like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different cases of, well, I know you like them, but surely it's like what about again, you keep thinking about the everyone else who has to watch up. Now it's like you like this one. Now you're going to do a hundred of them. 100 like it's gonna it's gonna go for 10 20 minutes of just this one that you like

you're running around fucking light and fuses it's gotta be the best time i'll say that it doesn't have to be a lot of fun i would love to do it you think that's fun you do think that's fun lighting the fuses is the fun part i i mean i guess i liked it on some level it was like fun to do on like a small level but i never really i don't think running around lighting a bunch of fuses would be my idea of like a really fun time i also saw it I found it semi-romantic that guys are making fireworks in their house and sharing recipes with each other and lighting bombs. But it's scary as well. It's romantic, but it's really scary because it's just like, holy shit, I can make this.

I can make a pretty good explosion with this. Maybe I take this a little bit further and I start thinking about some of these other ideas I have with the bank, Brian. Yeah. Yeah. This guy goes for this year. who are complaining about the fireworks might be finding themselves, you know, yeah, maybe on the receiving end of a bigger boom than they thought. This guy goes for this is more of the guys talking how much they spent.

And this one, listen, for this year approaching 37,000 in product for the show and about another 15,000 of materials and gear, not to mention 2,000 and U-Haul rentals for the season, a little over 40 just for fireworks, not including the party costs. So at first I thought this guy was doing a commercial. fireworks up then he brings up the party cause and then you're like oh this guy this is just like an ultra rich guy but who's also I mean I try to think if I've seen I have seen fireworks I guess that look pretty cool and I did think they look pretty cool so I guess like under the right circumstances where you're not like bugging people or whatever they're all right but I don't know I don't even

know if they're I don't even know if at this point of my life if if I even there any sort of fireworks would really impress me yeah I don't the guy's garage for you. I'll show you guys a guy's garage. Brian, do you like fireworks? When you look at them in the sky, you're like, whoa, like, no, I'm not judging. I'm not judging. I'm not like, I'm not like what he's.

I think they're fun. I like the noise. I don't know. Do you like them the whole time? Like, do you, is your attention held for an entire fireworks show? Well, it's when the grand finale is about to happen. That's when I really sit up. But I like the build to it, you know, it's like fireworks edging.

Yeah. get to the grape, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. You like the narrative of it, okay. They're perfect for taking, if you take mushrooms, then they're obviously, which I do. I've been known to obviously take some mushrooms sometimes. Those would make it kind of enjoyable and fun. But I would always find them to be dragging. Yeah, Tom, I'd be like, okay, like, it's a lot of repetition.

There's a lot of repetition happening. You guys are young. You don't understand what it used to be like. I'm 41 years old. Old man. the family. Some people, you know, we used to have to stare at the wall sometime for entertainment. Yeah, no, I mean, I guess that if, listen, I guess it must have really, really went over

a cliff technology-wise, like in my, because maybe you're right, but yeah, we definitely had TV shows when I was young. This guy's garage, these are boxes of fireworks. So it's not just one fireworks. This looks like he's got them shipped from China or something like that. Like they're still in freight boxes that like sort of got were on a container or whatever. Yeah, you can see the pallets that they actually got dropped off at his house on. I used to work and aware of those are.

If you're getting pallets dropped off at your house, you're crazy. No matter what. It doesn't matter what's on them at all. Yeah, you're right, Brian. There's no reason for them to be bringing like a forklift pallet jack type situation and pallet again anything to a normal way. Someone realizing they can be a business. Yeah. It's too much.

like this it seems to me like this is like some sort of person who fancies themselves a bit of a gatsby type figure that party guy you know who's like i spent 40 000 like he's like you know everybody is fucking looking forward to this fucking party they're expecting this to be oh absolutely insane and meanwhile he cares way more than any of them in my mind so this guy says he's almost ready and these over here are the mortars these are the ones that shoot up in the air those are like the canons, you put them down in the cannon and it shoots it up, you know? And he's got about 35 of those. Yeah, he's got a big setup going here. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see here. The thing I can't stop thinking about is like Sydney is like is famous. I live in Sydney, Australia. We have like a famous

fireworks display. They like light up the harbor bridge. Um, you know, like it's, it's renowned everywhere. where people like go on boats to go see it. And it is so fucking boring. Like after, you know, three minutes. I just can't imagine any of this being cool. Apart from like the fear of like, oh, maybe the neighbor's kid is going to get blown up. That kind of actually does probably make it more fun in a way where it's like.

You're lighting them. Not even if you're lighting. Just if you're there that you're like, well, these guys haven't been trained or whatever. So this could go right. I might get a good neighbor if this. show doesn't go well. I might get the world's

clearest neighbor upgrade. This guy goes, here's one. This guy asks, how do you transport your fireworks? I live in a firework, unfriendly state, and I have two pallets of fireworks

that won't fit into my RAV-4, and the gathering is not my- This guy's a real shitty, shitty comedy action movie, you know? Like, I got to get my fireworks across town, you know?

It's such like a, a fucking easy improv thing of like oh yeah my my my two pallets of fireworks one fit in the rav four these guys are really i'm finding them tom you commented earlier about the homer simpson like scenario and this is another very cartoonish scenario that these people are fighting themselves in i think these fireworks guys are a little bit cartoonish which kind of makes sense right fireworks huge in cartoons i think it's a it's an example of a thing that you would really like when you're 13, that some people just carry on into adult life.

And when they start making money, it just keeps snowballing. It's a mind of a 13 year old that collects the amount of fireworks a lot of these guys have because it's just, it's so much. And it doesn't make, you could buy for fucking $10,000. You could buy so many other good things.

other than $10,000 worth of fireworks. It just seems like even in my mind, like a year, like a year worth of Lego. Yeah. Yeah. In my mind, even in my fucking crazy mind, I can't even figure out how to do $10,000 worth of fireworks. You know, like what I would do.

So I don't know how much they cost. So I can't really quantify it that well. But I imagine that seems like way too much. It's a lot. He goes, theoretically I'm considering renting a U-Haul but not sure if you would look odd on the 4th of July any advice guy goes depending on what state but my advice is give the cops no reason to pull you over have everything in the car right don't look suspicious and just drive regular these

guys are so I love these guys movie guy like they you know everything's kind of they've seen these movies or whatever and they're just like that's how they get all their advice is from movies all of the things they imagine are they so watched in movies the U-Haul may be a little suspicious coming in and out of the state quick. So if you do do that, make sure you have a car in front of you to make it look like you're moving. And maybe get something to eat. That's a film thing they saw. Smoking and a bandit.

That's what smoking a bandit's about. Smoking a bandit. Okay. Yeah. I don't know always exactly what it is, but you can tell. I can spot these guys a mile away. Yeah. A guy is trying to get a semi-truck full of beer across state lines and he has a guy in a car in front of them.

run interference for the police. I smoke into bandit. He goes, uh, I'm sure it doesn't need to be this complicated. But if you want to be extra careful, do that maybe. And he replies and goes,

sorry, my post wasn't super clear. I actually have all my fireworks at home. I'm talking transporting them only a few miles on the fourth. I'm in California. If that makes any difference. Oh, does that make a lot of a difference?

Like communist. Same. Safe and sane. Yeah. Why are we even talking to? You just throw them in the back of your fucking, You know, your pickup truck or whatever. These are safe and sane.

These aren't even fucking, you know, these are nothing. Yeah. I mean, I wonder what you're able to like, you know, I would, how I would, now I'm kind of interested in this stuff. Like, I'm, I'm wondering how expensive the things are. And I'm wondering what you're allowed to do in Cal like what the safe and sane ones are, how big they are and shit like that. And what like the most, the loudest one.

I know what they are, but it would be hard to explain. But they're not loud and they don't shoot and blow. up in the sky. You know what I'm saying? There's no like flashes blowing up in the sky and they're not as loud. They're no like showering. Okay. Yes.

Yes. This guy goes just because they think there might be fireworks in a U-Haul doesn't give them justification to stop and look. Cover everything so they can't see when looking in the car and say not say no to any searches if you get pulled over. Ask for a lawyer straight away. Don't say nothing to them. Don't say a fucking word to these guys.

You're going to want a lawyer. up straight away and listen if any of these coppers you ask them straight away if they're police and they have to tell you otherwise this entrapment guys guy is a guy that is is like seriously risking prison time in order to drive his fucking firework somewhere else he is I don't think he is I mean no they're not going to pull him over and the cops probably wouldn't do anything but you're right if he got him to an accident or something do you think he would like I don't know I mean, you can get real time. It's a federal crime to have like illegal fireworks, like mortars, the ones that you need

a license to have. And I guess if you're like, you have like palates of them, you almost seem like you're like, you're like shipping them around or like selling them wholesale, right? You're trying to explain like, no, I'm just a fucking, I'm psychotic. I'm fucking lighting them all off myself in my neighborhood. They're just like, that seems unlikely. Like, no, I swear. This guy goes, they have to have probable cause to surge.

If asked the search, just tell them no because you'd like to be on your way as fast as possible. And you don't want to delay the stop. Put a lock in a trailer so they can't just open it. If they ask questions, just say, officer, I can appreciate you have a job to do. But I'd like to, I'd like to refrain from answering any questions as it may delay the stop further than needed. I'd appreciate it if I could be on my way as fast as possible. This is a lawyer. This is obviously a lawyer, like a high-level lawyer, criminal defense lawyer.

This is not a lawyer. You don't think so? This is a sovereign citizen. I believe this is a sovereign citizen. You think it's a, but he hasn't said any of the sovereign. He hasn't said anything. He didn't say traveling. Remember, just because they asked doesn't mean you have to let them.

You don't have to consent. If they thought they had enough evidence to compel you, then they do so. This guy goes, if I was a cop, I would say, okay, let me check inside real fast and you can be on your merry way. But that doesn't, this is, now they have this whole scenario, somebody's stepping in and they're just like, oh, if I could just play the police. Yeah, if I could play the police. policeman in this scenario and we can just run a couple lines perhaps. These guys are now trying to, they're so obsessed with these movies and they're now, they're now trying to like do lines from a movie.

They're like, let's just, hey, listen, you, are you a movie guy too who pretends their life is a movie? Fuck, do you want to just like pretend we're in a movie together and we'll just like, do movie lines and shit? We'll drive around with fireworks. Officer, I understand that you're just standing here bored and nothing has done happened today. But me and this mysterious trailer would deeply appreciate.

not to be searched on account of where on an undisclosed hurry. So if you'll excuse me, me and my, well, we'll be, me and my trailer will be off now. Just because I don't want to impose. Are you a lot of towner?

Well, this guy goes, I get your point. In that case, the only thing a person can do is exercise their right to be free from unreasonable searches and seizures. Try to exercise. This exercise is that right.

It's right. Driving up in my exploding trailer, all the fireworks in it actively setting off. Hello, officer. I'd hate for this to go longer than necessary. I love the idea of the way he's describing like exercise your right to not have an illegal search and seizure. Like, that's not something that you can exercise in the moment. It's illegal. It's possibly like, you can possibly, you know, with a lawyer afterwards, you can like get evidence thrown out or whatever.

But yeah. Yeah. It's illegal, though, to do that. And they'll just do it because they can't get in trouble for it. It depends on the circumstances, I guess. But yeah, I mean, I think a lot of, listen, I don't know. I don't want to, I don't want to speak ill of the boys in blue, but I think a few of them might be a little crooked from time to time.

It might not follow all the rules. Every now and then some of them. This guy, this is another guy. It goes scammed by TNT now. I need to teach you guys about T&T and Phantom fireworks. They're the bad guys. They are expensive. and they're not in it for the fun.

I'll just read you a little thing about Phantom. They're corporate. They're the corporate evil guys that try to make safe. They lobby for safe and sane laws. And that drives these guys fucking crazy. That's crazy to like, why would you do that when you're in the exploding business? Well, because then they can move in. Like, if they go to a place where fireworks are illegal and they're like,

how about this safe and sane? And then they're like, okay, we'll do it. And then the fireworks guys are like, what the fuck? We could have got it more dangerous. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Yeah. This is a guy that explains Phantom.

So if Phantom is all you can get, so be it. There are some quote politics surrounding their business model and what they do when they move into a town and now they push the little guys out. This may be where you're seeing some of the hate rooted in. And of course, fellow pyros hate to see another pyro overpay. At least I hope that's where the rest of the hate lands. All that aside. you look like you're going to have plenty of fun hope your fourth is safe so they're expensive this is

Tom I don't know about you but I never get I never have this kind of relationship with any of the products I buy when I start understanding the corporate structure and like the history and things like that never of interest to me I just I placed an order at T&T for a hundred for the one hundred and seventy five show and when I got there I was told an item was missing and it would be replaced I thought deal. It'll be just as good. Oh, boy, was I wrong. Oh, come on, man. My limp fireworks display was the talk of the neighborhood. Yeah, everybody commented on that one firework. They're just like, it seemed to just be missing something. You know, that's what I heard. Someone was eating potato salad. They were like, it just was missing something. Yeah, you know you fucked up when people

are complimenting the set of your fireworks display to you at the grill after. Sorry, Sorry, Brian. Because the item missing was the Dr. Boom finale. And it was a. The Dr. Boom finale. Well, the Dr.

Boom finale missing does seem like a big deal. I thought it was going to be one little, like small little, but this is a finale. But it was replaced with the Uda Man finale. Okay. The Ud. The Ud.

finale is pretty cool, too. Yeah. They seem pretty equivocal. They seem, yeah, comparably. Dr. Boom versus Uta man.

Well, let's hear what they. have to say about it. He goes, the web store said the replacement would be of equal or greater value, yet the replacement was of a lower value. See for yourself if you think you to man is in any way comparable to the doctor boom.

He posts the YouTube videos. He goes, I try to see if I could switch out the replacement for something else, but the folks at the store wouldn't let me. This feels nothing short of a scam, never buying from T&T again. So he got stuck with the Uda man instead of his doctor boom. And it fucked everything out.

I mean, we like to rip on people. I probably wouldn't report. I wouldn't like write a review, but it's annoying. You ordered something and they're like, oh, we're going to just take something out and give you something different. That's a little. That's all they got. It's fireworks. Yeah, but it's a business.

And he's like, hey, I bought this. And it's, I love the Dr. Boom finale. And it's like, I told my neighbor fucking Harrison, who's like, you know, he's like always has all the best shit. I was like, I got this fucking Dr. Boom finale. It's going to blow your tits off, Harrison. And he's just like, oh, yeah, we'll see that. And now it's like, I don't. I'm going to tell him that it's the doctor boom.

He's going to know. He's going to know it's a you to man. They can tell. You to man. This guy goes, we all get burned at least once. Then we learned to flip stores like T&T office as we drive past there on the way to a proper fireworks establishment. That's a badass move. But you do that with like other people in the car.

Do you know what I mean? You know, like friends of your like wife or something? You guys were all like driving somewhere. You guys want to come for a drive? Watch me do something cool. Joe. That's the whole point of the drive. You're going to drive somewhere.

You have to come out of the car. Boy to the parking lot. Like with your middle finger up. You're just putting the parking brake on and really just sitting there. Having a couple of drinks and take your life's boss. Hey, come in the car with the eye. I have to show you something. Sweetie, sweetie, put a cover on the meatloaf.

It'll give. John, I got to show you. I got to show you what I do for fun. You're going to love this. And just no fireworks or anything. Just one flip. He goes, ah, it sucks, man, but lesson learned. And you can use that knowledge to make next year your best one yet.

That's good attitude. This guy. Well, yeah, but he's still driving. Flipping off the fireworks. It sounds like he sounds like that does what he needs to, like, get that agro. And it seems like he's pretty well adjusted at the end of the day. This guy goes, bummer, bro. got to take your licks on this one focus on the lesson not the loss enjoy your fourth and next year

don't go to phantom or t-n-tie yep uh guy goes uh i see a lot of hate on phantom but they really aren't that bad but that guy did not do well like people yelled up here's the safe and sane symbol if you see this you know you're playing with some bad fireworks whenever someone comes in whenever someone comes into a thread and they're just like they say anything that's like contradictory to what everyone. It's so good. Like a voice of reason. That's one of my favorite things.

It's so good. It comes in and they're just like, it seems like that, you know, maybe it's not such a big deal and it's like 900 down votes. You guys don't have to like care about this. Like whenever someone's like, hey,

it's weird that I think about Brendan Shob this much, right? Like I should, I started reading books and it's made my life better. And everyone's like, yeah, but he's such a fucking piece of shit. Have you see a book? Tom, have you seen Gringo Bobby?

It's fucking straight up terrible Oh man Greg go poppy Yeah I know I know there's like a there's like a There's like a million Brendan Chob videos I've seen maybe I've seen one or two I've watched them all Brian Brian's into the comedy drama

So he's probably seen a couple of shop videos too But yeah it's it's I mean with the Shaw one There's not it's pretty much it seemed to me It was like a lot of the stuff Same stuff being repeated over over and get it. Yeah. I think this is a question you guys would probably be interested in. What's the legality of purchasing materials to make fireworks? And if it's illegal, what are the chances of getting into legal trouble? I'm looking to get my hands on bomb stuff. Yeah. I mean, that's what it is,

essentially, right? You're getting gunpowder and things like that, right? But with kind of a pure heart. Yeah. It's for decoration in the sky. Really? Pentamime. Yeah, the problem is, I guess, that maybe some of the guys who are making bombs to blow people up, kill them, blow up businesses, things like that, cars. They might also say, if they were caught, they might also say, I'm into fireworks. Yeah, this guy goes, buying the stuff is fine. Making them as mildly illegal, depending on the state. The word mildly. It's like that with a lot of stuff.

Yeah. You can buy all the materials and also in the moon, you start cooking something up and then the police show up. Yeah, you're, oh, all of as many precoces as you want, but then suddenly. That's interesting. why don't you go arrest Walmart because they have all the stuff for it as well God we used to made so many bombs growing up like a crazy

amount of bombs when we were kids like every kind that you could possibly make you know like the Anacus Cookbook or where were you getting that but it's not as good we were like you wanted better bombs than that you're just like these are weak bombs we need

stronger bombs yeah yeah we needed like we were like pipe bombs we were really interested in pipe bombs when we were growing up like and making them and we're never super successful like they would maybe blow up but like it wouldn't be as as big and like even when they did blow up it was kind of like well at least it blew up because if it didn't blow up we wouldn't even know what to do with it you know what I mean so you guys didn't have like a bomb you didn't have like a bomb expert in the game we have a bomb guy I mean other than Sean's dad bought the fireworks it It wasn't like he was creative or creating anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His dad was buying fireworks and we were lighting them all. So you guys had nobody who was just kind of like, you know, some people, you would, some people are good with that. They're just like, oh, yeah.

My brother would make a few things like Nate. He made the napalm, which every guy makes when they're growing up. Yeah. Well, and I'd love to push back on that. And I would like to as well. Just, and I don't, maybe it's an American thing. And Tom and I obviously be in a couple of commonwealth boys here might be, might be out at our own world on this. but no, I, that was never something that.

You never took. Listen, I wasn't, I wasn't inside. Like Tom said he was inside a lot. I was out there. I was doing drugs and, and fucking blowing shit up and doing all that. But napalm was never. You never took a bunch.

We made match bombs. You know, tennis ball. Yeah, we made those, of course. You get all the match heads and you put them in a tennis ball. And then you put a wick in there and you light it. Like that was something we would do. We would make like Molotov cocktails. We would definitely do that where you would.

But was that Nate bomb? You didn't. No, we just, what would we put in there? maybe like lighter fluid in the in there in uh yeah what you do is you get a little cup of gas and then you drop some uh styrofoam in it you just keep stuffing a styrofoam and it turns into sort of a jelly that you can't really put out that's cool and we would make that and then play with it for the afternoon you know what i mean back when kids used to play outside oh wait a second

no back that's napalm then yeah i've i've made plenty napalm in my day god I thought you were talking about some big city stuff. Oh, yeah. I done made styrofoam jelly before. Yeah, we call this styrofo fire jelly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It must be like the you in color. That's kind of sweet, though.

That was the good old days. Brian back when kids used to be out there, actually out in the yard playing with making napalm and stuff like that. Nowadays, it's just like you couldn't even, they wouldn't even know how to make the napalm. They'd be like, oh, do I do it in my fucking call a duty game? It's like, no, you fucking crushed them glass. And it's a fucking desireful.

Back in the day, you used to, you know, drink from the hose and you couldn't put out the fires you set because... Yeah. You have to drink from the hose. The hose was useless to put the fires out because they were made in a dayfall. Dude. I used to love lighting stuff on fire. I mean, that was just a real big thing when I was growing up. I wasn't, I wasn't big into it, but we had it.

It seems like you weren't into property damage in the same way. We were really into property damage. We kind of were. We weren't in property damage. We loved it. stuff either we were kind of like you know we would smash the school windows up and stuff I love that we would do things like that and I did a couple I don't know I you know I did some stuff I'm certainly not proud of like you know destroying some person's like window or something that just a random citizen

when I was a teenager and but but yeah I think that you guys maybe it sounds like you guys were like a tear above I I I the lily we had our friend lily we found a hammer on the way to school I always think about this now Tom Sorry, I was just, I was looking over at Tom, like, what oh. We're walking to school and there's a hammer in the middle of the street and we pick it up and we're like, well, we're going to do this fucking hammer. You fucking, you're fucking, you're going to school in a beat him up town. Yeah, like it's like a video game. It was a fucking rotissory chicken, a hammer, a blade.

It sounds like you're in a first person shooter, you know, like. No, it was it was just a coincidence. there was a hammer on the ground. And when we found it, we were like, what should we do with the hammer? And when you said to Lili, we were like, you should break the vice principal's car window. Wow.

So he did it. Uh-huh. But when you break a window with a hammer, your hand gets all fucking sliced up and stuff. So the guy walks into school, his fucking hands bleeding all over the place. He's like, I didn't do it.

And obviously, I ended up getting called down to the office, but I didn't snitch or anything. I was just like, I don't know who the fuck did it. Hell yeah. But he walked up, smashed the vice principal's car window in the school parking lot, presumably. She was like, well, but I can't miss a day of class.

She was mean. Well, that was middle school. In middle school, they had a more strict attendance policy than when you got up into the higher. Or you just didn't care as much. But if you didn't show up to middle school, they'd call your parents. Gotcha. If you didn't show up to high school, they'd be like, well. You ever get any trouble in school?

Are you a good kid? No, really, man. I was just reading like fantasy books. Yeah, I didn't get a lot of trouble either. I was reading Howard Stern's books, though. Yeah. Yeah. I got in.

I go, well, I was, I was to say very quickly, we stole my brother, miss my brother's idea. He was very funny when you were younger in elementary school. He stole, he thought it was funny to steal all the rulers in the school every single one so no one could draw a straight line because they, that was like, you know, so he thought it was really funny. But then we had him in our like desk at home and it became a big thing. Like they were like writing home to the parents like who took them and my mom found them in the drawer. And she knew that we would get legitimately like arrested and in trouble or something.

You know, like we broke into the school to do it. We like broke in. My brother like put a thing in one of the doors so that we could break in afterwards to go get them. And so my mom just like was really mad at us but did could not rat us out. Yeah. I would have thrown them in a lake if my daughter had done it. That would have been my plan. Yeah.

I mean, no, my mom was just like they stay in here until we move. You know, we don't we don't take them out of here. just leave them in this desk. I really didn't get in a lot of trouble in high school. Because the only thing I did was I was never there. Yeah, you were always running away as the fight was happening. You were off like in, like, you know, and I wasn't there.

The smoke bombs that you had invested in. I was just picturing him in sort of a thick smoke in this instance, too, Tom, where he's running away and there's like a little fog there. And he's just kind of within three seconds of running, he's disappeared completely. Oh, you think I can run fast. That's crazy. Not even. Not even.

There's just such a thick cloud of smoke that you're just like. But I'm most of every time I got in trouble with smoking in a bathroom, I just smoked cigarettes in a bathroom all day. That was like literally that and cutting class. But it's hard to get in trouble at school and like real trouble at school if you're there like once a week. And you spend most of the time in the bathroom smoking cigarettes. Yeah, I got in trouble for getting into a fight one time definitely and got suspended from school,

you know, for that after school. That was like a full. Yeah. This was after school. off school property as well and I still got in trouble but it was it was because I swung at my my uh my uh my uh knapsack my bag and it like had something in it and it like hit him and it like caused like a you know he had to get a stitches or something and then so it was like he had to go back to the school and it was like it was I wasn't like you know I wasn't getting into fights all the time

now I feel like this is going to make people think I was in some sort of violent situation that wasn't this was a one time fight situation with this kid named Malcolm who I became friends with afterwards. We were all fine and everything afterwards. But it was like, you know, I swung that thing not realizing there was like a wood block in there. And I felt really bad afterwards almost immediately. But I got suspended. Woodblock in your fucking backpack. From woodworking class, actually. What are you doing? Were you a wrestler? Woodworking class. So, uh, I looked at some reviews of phantom fireworks of Kirkersville, which is where I bought all my fireworks. Now I wouldn't go there now. I would go to

an old sailor. Obviously, I know where two of them are close to me. Well, like an hour away. So if I need fireworks, I'm going to a wholesale. But when you go to the wholesale, you have to buy a wholesale amount of them, right? They're not going to sell you an individual amount. Yes, but they are cheaper. But then you can buy more. Yeah.

Well, but I want the cheap ones. So anyway, John Clever. Brian, now you live more in the city. Like, you're right in the heart of downtown now. I mean, I don't think you could get a- I'm not lying any fireworks downtown. Yeah, you can't do. maybe there's not a lot of people parked on my parking garage so i probably could do it anyway uh john

clever i liked his name that's a good name that's a nice name he he gave five stars to phantom fireworks four months ago he goes always awesome at phantom this you guys this is the first time i've ever felt like you guys looking at me and the way i spend money i've never felt this way and it was so wonderful he goes always awesome at phantom got to spend eight hundred dollars to get 50% off, which got me Premier status. 50% Oh.

You could just see this, hear this guy getting ripped off. He's getting ripped off every place he can. He's taking Premier status as a true badge of honor. He's so happy. Premier status. Premier status is like the most like

obviously worthless thing that you could have. From the fireworks store, by the way. From anywhere though. Do you know what? Unless it comes with like, yeah. Phantom fireworks is a funny place to get premier status. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll show you the Phantom fireworks logo. And when you see it, you'll be like, this guy has. Where is this place, Brian? Where is the person? There's one pretty close to me. Like 45.

There's actually one 15 minutes. Oh, yeah. It's the evil ones. Yeah. This is the chain of fireworks that sell like this, the mostly safe stuff. Yeah, the one that you're reading. Brian like where where is this location? Kirkersville it's just outside of Columbus it's

okay this is this is this is this is where you're getting where you're getting premier oh it's a big purple like it looks like a big like where you know like like um like a bulk barn for Canadian Walmart it's fucking old Walmart is what it's or an old best buy uh so he goes uh but he goes I spent $800 and I got 50% off, which got me Premiere status, 50% off everything anytime for the next three years. Happy fourth weekend. So actually, premier status is worth. It's huge. 50% off for the next three years. And the amount that this guy's buying, it's like he's saving himself a house worth of fucking down payment on a house worth of money. I like this guy, awesome fireworks selection and very helpful staff. This place is always running deals and has some awesome coupons. Yeah, places that are always running deals. It's like, that's the places that are like, places that are like,

it's always on sale. I'm just like, what the hell? You guys, why are you charging so much more? You could just be charging this all the time, it seems like. Yeah, there's a pretty, like, as not a business guy myself, there's a pretty big giveaway. Maybe, because you said this place overcharges in the, you know, according to the pyros, Brian, there's a pretty big giveaway that when you, that they have a 50% off status that they are overcharging just across the board. Unless you are spending $800. I mean, I always think they're just handing this thing out. Like if they gave me premier status where they're like 50% off for three years just because

you spent this amount of money, I'd be like, wait a second. So you guys are you're charging way too much then. Yeah. When I went, it was buy one get two free, which seems like a psychotic deal when you really think about. I bought so many too. It was crazy. So they're on that kind of like.

I broke too. I was so broke when I went to Phantom fireworks for the buy one get two free thing. But I kept having in my mind like, everybody's going to come over. Maybe there'll be a fireworks scout. Maybe this could lead to a new career. Yeah, yeah. The thing about it is like, yeah, maybe he doesn't come watch the display from my house, but it's like, these things are going way up in the sky.

Maybe he lives down the street and he sees it. He just comes over. Well, no, it's like everybody's going to come over and they're going to be impressed with my fireworks. He knocks on the door. He's like this crazy big wig dude. And he's just like, hey, who's fusing back there? Is that Colossus you got in your backyard? Holy shit, man.

That's, honestly, the fucking pacing on that. That was a pleasantly curated display you had to. That is definitely not you to man. That's one thing I know. This guy goes awesome. But he goes, I actually save more money than I spent. Highly recommended. I saved more money than I spent.

No, you didn't. That's not how it works, man. I actually save some much money. I'm trying to explain it. And I'm talking to my account and I'm trying to explain it. I'm saying, no, no, know, there's got to be more in here. I'm saving an insane amount every month.

This is got to, you've got to be looking at the wrong damn bank account. I always don't. We need to clarify, we need to class this as a credit because I'm making money every time I go to Phantom Fireworks. I love the idea of the cashier saying like, you know, actually he saved more money than you spend if you really think about it. That's like, yeah, I did. This guy goes five stars.

Premier members get a decent deal with buy one get two free. That's more than a decent deal, by the way. In commerce, like just in like retail, that's a very good deal. Yeah. Yeah, it's a wonderful deal. A bit high price if you're not a loyalty member. Yeah. Yeah.

If you're out of your status, it's going to cost you a lot of money. Fortunately, I'm a whale. It's approximately double the price if you're not. Kenny consumer. Like, yeah, it does sound almost like the, the, they should love this because they're ripping off like casual users, right? In order to sort of fund this place and allow them to be cheaper prices for the people who are psychos about it. So they should like it. Shouldn't they like the, the officiados, but they're not good fireworks number one.

You know, one of the things you're looking for when you buy fireworks is ones, and I swear to you, ones that were mislabeled and are more powerful than they thought they were. Like these guys have like, these guys like have ways of like networking to each other like, hey, this year the bronze flyer is double what it was last year on accident. I don't know how it happened. Double what? Double explosive.

Decible. Like are that what are they measuring it by? I mean, just coolness. I think it's really just coolness to tell you. But there's not like a Scoval. there's not like with the hot sauce, there's not like a thing to measure.

There's not even allowed. There is a thing to measure. Looking at the Colossus, there was a metric here. I'll just pull it up again. There was a metric that was like total explosive weight. And it was like 3.8 grams or whatever.

And so that was like the amount of, I guess, actual fireworks inside the box. Or maybe it was the amount of like combustible material in there. I don't know. So that is a, way to measure it and quantify it though where they would say like you'd look at it on the packaging

and say like okay this is going to be a big boom new pickup to stuff the pyro shed this guy says now it's not oh it's that's one picture it's a real wooden shed isn't it really look that shed it's made of all plywood and oh man he's got so much dude ghost busters 24 shells six inches they're not yeah so that that there he is driving with his palate that's cool and they look to be kind of just um not too secured on there which i'm sure they're shrink wrapped on the palate but the palette itself doesn't seem to be secured to the flat bed at all maybe that was before they secured it you know if you're giving the benefit of the dope because again yeah i would not want to be involved in a in that in a in a car a collision with that where it flew

off the side or whatever yeah well it's heavy it's not going to fall guy goes a bit high price heavy it's not going to fall off? Yeah, sure. What are you going to do? Push it off, you know? Well, you know. Not to be hit pretty hard. I'm not sure, Brian. If you, Tom, the heaviness does not stop it from coming off. I think if you came around a corner really fast or whatever, it would depend. It depends on, like, how it's weighted. If it's really low, like bottom weighted, then maybe it would be more secure. He goes, a bit high price if you're not a loyalty member. However, for the location and selection, you could do a lot worse. I've been a member for 10 years and not looking to change anything. so it may be a bit high for non-members,

but spend $450 total combined and hit Premier status over one trip. It's simple. It's simple. Talk to your wife about it. Tell your wife, hey, we're going to have to skip out on the fucking couple of the bills for a few months so I can get Premier status. At the fire. At the fire.

Premier status, where at the fucking fireworks store, you buffoon? What do you mean where? Where else? He goes, Premier over one trip. and many and then load up the party just but honest this guy gave it two stars now chris we recently saw one of these tom this is a new thing that i've found okay it was on the knife guys episode and it's a guy that very obviously used to work at the place i like those very much yes that is very good to me stephen says chinese product that costs him one one hundredth of the

price they sell it for now a lot of times you'd be like oh they're saying But Chinese is the best fireworks. The best fireworks is not. They have the best fireworks. I think they're saying that you can buy them from China at a really low price. Sure. Overworked employees. That's how I knew he worked there is the next line is overworked employees.

He goes, as well as underpaid. They actually promised people a bonus each year and they never deliver. Okay. This is really, yeah. He's like playing the hand. Doesn't seem to be hiding really that he used to work there. Well, I mean, he's reviewing the play. Yeah. You can review a place. You know what I? He still is a customer there. He can go in there and he just happens to have some inside

information that colors his review a little bit. He can't help that. They also won't pay you if the computer clock in station doesn't clock your time correctly. Even if it's due to the computer messing up. I'm not sure if he did work there. Their product gets rained on and they just repackage it. Honestly, the worst place to ever buy fireworks from, even though they pretend to treat every customer as getting a secret special deal. It's really still overpriced. So this guy gave it three stars. He's a disclaimer. This was my first visit to any phantom fireworks anywhere ever.

And it was the third of July at 10 p.m. Tough. This was your first time. The third of July at 10 p.m. You made some sort of promise that you forgot about or something. What happened there? How did you find yourself, uh, July 3rd 10 p.m. at the fireworks store.

I love the first line. Was not impressed with the selection. Oh, yeah. I think probably you could have. Yeah, I think there's probably a reason for that. I thought everything was overpriced. You had to wait in line. You had to wait in line on July 3rd at 10 p.m.

That's so weird. He goes, you have to wait in line to have your ID checked and sign a waiver in the lobby before you can even enter the store. Oh, okay. That's a legal thing. Yeah, I think they probably have to maybe do that. All right, boys, I made a game. Wow.

Yay. I comment very enthusiastic response. I mentioned this to Brian about how much I loved his games. He hates him, but I made one this time. No, I do like him. I missed him. I genuinely miss them. Like, you know, I do sort of play the role of the like, oh, this is kind of, you know,

for comedic purposes. But I did miss them when. they were gone. Well, these are real fireworks or fake fireworks. Oh, fuck. This is the game I love, Tom.

This is the game. It's the only game I know. This is the only game I make. This is a... I learned it from some guys that actually were just in my house like a hour ago. Who? Mike was dropped off my computer. Who?

At my house. Mike. DB. DB was in your house. For three minutes. Why was deep? We even offered him like a sprite or something. He was,

I don't want anything. He just left. Wait, so he came because he doesn't live that. He's dropped the computer off. But he doesn't live that close. He's going to his moms. Sorry?

He's going to his mom. She lives. Okay. But he comes all the way. He comes all that way. You guys are good friends. He was our first ever guest on this podcast. He's a regular guest.

He came to our live show. He's a friend of yours. He came over to your house and he stayed but three minutes. Less, maybe. He didn't even take a gummy from Katie. He was like, here, you want one of these gummies? And he was like, I don't want to spray. It sounds to me like he was.

wasn't really feeling you or wasn't feeling the vibe. I think he's got it was it was getting late. It was kidding. It was dark out and he was going to his mom. Oh, I see. Okay. I think it was just kind of like I'm going to drop his off and I'm going to get out of here.

That makes sense. And if he's like on a long trip and he's like, I just have to get to this place and go to sleep. There's still like an hour and a half of his drive, right from my house. I said this is my 17,000 square foot apartment to him. That's funny. That's a joke I made. I used to tell people that.

He did say it's very nice. Thank you. He did say. tell people it was 17,000. Clean. It's clean. People don't expect my apartment to be clean. Was he like looking up and around at the apartment when he said it was nice?

Or was he just kind of like running through the two lines of dialogue he'd prepared before he got out of there? It didn't sound like he's. It's a beautiful computer by the way. It's beautiful. Oh, he's got your new computer. He built me a computer. It's sitting here. It's beautiful.

Shout out to DB. What a good friend. It's like water cooling or something like that? Just because he doesn't want to hang out with you and like shoot the shit or kind of up with you or whatever. It doesn't mean he ain't a good friend. I don't know DB'd that well but I think like genuinely

dropping off a computer getting to build a computer for you and then dropping it off and leaving immediately is like his ideal social interaction Well I texted him and was like Hey I need to buy a computer

Could you? Because he told me where to buy this one That I have now and I just bought it I was like could you help me find a computer I didn't think he was going to build it Like he built it without And then he was like Hey you can pay me sometime this year

like literally told me in the next year. I paid him all right. I paid him the day he told me how much he spent. But he was like, I don't worry about you. You just get it to me sometime this year. Yeah, yeah.

He's just being nice, though. You should, yeah, glad you paid him right away. And if you don't pay him the rest, you owe him that, you know,

he knows where you live now. That's true. He'll come here and kill me. He said nice apartment. He did also say, be a shame if anything happened to it. Yeah, he said nice apartment here.

This is where your family stay? I said this is where the magic happens when we walked into the office. Oh, nice. This is where magic happens. That's a fun. That's from, uh, it's from, uh, Crips, right?

It's where I fuck my wife, too. In the office? Sure. I hope that's not true. Hey, honey, get in here. Time to fuck. All right.

All right. Yeah, let's say, there you. First, firework. Many little boy popper. Come on. name. Chris? Is that a real

firework name or a fake firework? Mini little boy popper. Yeah. Many little boy popper. I hope it's a real one. Tom, what do you think? I also think that's real. And you both got it right. It's the mini little boy popper.

Yeah, I don't think that seems like the kind of thing you would sit down and think to yourself. It's an insanely dangerous firework. It's an insanely dangerous firework. You throw it and it blows up like a mortar in the sky. That is that? Very cool. I have a question. Is that an American firework? Is that a Chinese?

These are all basically Chinese. Okay. I was going to say that's like, yeah, so it's being translated from Chinese. This next one is BRAP. B-R-A-P-P-P-P-E-Xclamation point. Now, that sounds like something you would come up with. So I'm going to say that's fake. Okay.

Tom? I don't know. I think BRAP is flying off the shelves. I think that one's real. That is fake. I made a wrap up. Yeah, I know, Brian. so well now i know the brian's like the exclamation point got me where i was like he would put the

exclamation point on there and all the fucking extra piece and shit uh the next one is called trump returns you told me there's a lot of trump ones but i wonder if brian is like smart like he dropped that little hint to throw us off earlier on like he's thinking ahead there's no way there's trump themed fireworks now i'm saying that out loud and i'm realizing i don't think that he would do that So I'm going to say this is a real one. Tom, I think this one's fake. And the reason for that is just the returns to me. Well, that is the thing that makes it real.

I'll show you Trump returns. Because what I thought, I couldn't believe that. Tom, I always lose at this game, by the way. Like, I lose miserably. So this is like, this is incredible to me. This feels so good right now. I think I hope that I honestly. I honestly,

Tom, I hope this most. moment never ends and I kind of almost just wish that the game would end now where I'm on my perfect street. Game ain't ended yet brother. The next one I have here is migraine. That's a fake Brian made that one up. That one has to be fake. Chris, you say fake and Tom you say fake. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that's like having a follicle to scared dog. That's real. It's real. It's just migraine. That is a good one because that is like that is a good one to use. because that's the kind of one that you would make up as well. So that way, you threw me on that one.

And then, and but the nice thing is now I've become this like heroic figure in answering to Tom where Tom is just like, oh my God, if Chris says that, that it must be true. So it's like going to be hard for him to catch me now. I followed you blindly. And so it's clearly, I have to defy you now. Yeah, you have to. There's going to come a point. There's going to come a point where you're just going to have to say the opposite one.

The next one is hoppy brew bash. It's a beer. Hoppy brew bash. Actually, maybe we should make it more fair and Tom should be able to answer first so that that doesn't happen. Tom, Hoppy brew bash. Man, I think that one is going to be a beerthine firework.

It'd be a firework. I think that one is fake. I think that that one's a little bit too dancing around it. It does sound like the one that Ryan would make up, but I'm going to give you a chance here, Tom. I'm going to say that that one's real. Well, you got it right, Chris.

That one is real. The next one I have here. the time of my life right now. That's what I have here. I just want to make about four wide. I just want to. I mean, not that it matters or whatever.

It's like not a big deal. It's like we're not playing for anything seriously. But I just want to clarify. I'm going to give the winner $500. I mean, that's if I win, that is kind of true. You do give me money every month.

No, but I'm going to give you an extra $500 for winning. God, I hope that's true, man. It's the holidays. Nope, it's lie. I got you fake. Fuck.

Oh, I was just saying it's the holidays. I was just saying boss. It's the holidays and I got the family now and everything. And that 500 would really go a long way, you know. Pink pony clap. Firework. Pony clap.

Clap. I think that one's real. I think that that sounds like the kind of thing that they would get around. Looks like club. Yeah. Go luck me in for real. I'm going to say that that's coming from the demented mind of Brian Quinnby. That's a fake one. You are right, Chris. It is a fake. God, I hate myself. I am absolutely.

This is like, this is. That makes me an image of Chris's triumph. You are like one to five now. You can't really win, but I wrote all these other ones. Tom, I understand, you know, hey, you're doing great. You're on the Australian. It's an Australian thing. Bake off show and your podcast is absolutely fantastic and you're really career-wise. You're just doing so well. But in this moment, you are being bested by a great, great answer of trivia. And I, and a great maker of trivia. Honestly, Brian, I've said a lot of negative things about your trivia before, and I'm realizing now that the reason for that might have been that I was losing constantly,

and I think this is really one of the most fun games that's ever been played on a podcast. Now you've got a clear layout that there's someone, it's not also that they're easy, or at least they couldn't be, because that would mean that I'm really stupid. and bad at the game. No. So you can tell there's just someone who's really good. No. I'm an every man.

I'm off the street. Tom, you're well established as a great, very funny performer, very smart. And so for me to be besting somebody like this 5-1 is just a testament to my incredible trivia knowledge, which by the way, I'm happy to have because I just want to say very quickly, I've been having a tough time out at the lanes, everybody. I recently went bowling, Tom. I was trying to get to 200 and I got up to like 184.

186. I bought a 99 the other day. That's almost. So I, but then this time, the last time I went, only got 161 was my highest. I was at a 113 game, a 131 game. I'm regressing and I'm feeling I had a game. I had a game. I swear to God, I said this. I'm really sorry about this, Brian. I, I bowled like a 113 and I was like saying to Ariel. I was like, oh, it's such a bad day bowling. I pulled a 113. That's like Brian level. No, that's higher. I couldn't be,

I couldn't get over a hundred the other night when we went, played three games. I got a 99 was my high score. The next one I have here is big explosion. Oh, Tom. God, I think that, oh,

fuck, man. I mean, just the SEO of that would be unbeatable. Big explosion, firework and you're the first thing that comes up. That's the thing every entrepreneur dreams of. I think real. Chris,

big explosion. I mean, listen, Brian loves a big explosion. And I got to give Tom a chance back into this game. So I'm going to say that that is a fake one. Oh, that's pity, but Tom was right. Okay. That was a real one. The next one is,

Five two. The next one is Bazunga. Oh, I love that. Bazunger is awesome. Let's chuck in a reel on this. That's from the Big Bang theory. Bazzynga. But Bazooka, too.

Oh. It's like if they made like a North County Big Bang theory. So you're saying that it's real, Tom? I think that's real. I'm going to say that it's fake. It is fake. I did make that one up. I knew it.

I knew it. The reason why I knew, honestly, you've spoiled it for yourself because when you tried to say bazooka afterwards, it was like you were trying to be like, no, no, it could be like a real one.

I get it. I fucked that one up. I knew it when I said it. I was like, why did I say that? Why would I say that? That's such a stupid thing. I'm an idiot.

I know that that's one of your favorite shows. Yes. The next one is United States of Blast. Okay. All right. I mean, it's hard to wrap the Commonwealth mind around the etymology of this one. But I do think Americans like being in the United States.

I'm going to go ahead and I think this one's fake. All right. I'm going to say this is a real one. I'm right close to these guys, Tom. They would have a firework called this, I think. That's why I once fake. I made that one up. Wow.

We got two more left. The next one is great big boom. And then score is six three. So I just want you to know, Tom, I'm going to shake your hand across the computer right now, chest style. I'm shaking your hand too because I made the question. Can you hear your hand? Brian's touching a hand.

Yeah, he's shaking. He's coming in a right angle. He's holding our hands as we're shaking. He's moving. moving him up and down, but just slightly offbeat. This one is Great Big Boom. I feel like I'm putting a lot of creativity in some.

Maybe there was some fatigue. I know. The creative process is the way you think of Chris. Maybe you gave yourself too many to come home. Why would I make great big boom? I didn't make up... Which one was it? Big explosion.

Big explosion. was real. Yeah, I think you made up Great Big Boom. I'm going to say that's a fake one. I also think that one's fake. That's a failure on my part. That's true. And finally, finally, this is the last one.

He's so serious. Right before the recording, scribbling down great big boom on me. I know. The final one I have a pen on your desk right now. By the way, Tom, Tom, Tom, the final one is real. 100%. I haven't even heard it yet, but I just know

the way that he like does his like it's yeah no he wants it to be he wants to win he doesn't want he likes yeah that's rude last one is air jordan oh okay hang on though that one seems a bit absurd because could that be branded in that way do you know what i mean like would they have to get the official like that seems like something that nike would

i i feel like the fire i mean fireworks makers are ghosts you know as soon as you track them down they've all their old warehouse has already exploded and taken all the workers with them. So I think that they're pretty much immune to prosecution by virtue of being in tiny little pieces all over the place. I think this one's real. I'm going to, I'm going to say that this one's real as well. This one is real and not only that I'll show you. I'll see Tom, I told you the last one was real. It was the most obvious. I'm so I can't believe it. I can't believe you. You're just like, okay, so what I'll do is I'll just like do fucking great big boom and then for a real one at

the end or whatever. Like he really, he's like, I need two more. I need two more. Like, it's like, you didn't need two more.

Just, no, I didn't. I didn't need two more. But I, I was like, Air Jordan, I was going to make Air Jordan a fake one.

Yeah. And then I searched. The fact that Air Jordan also has the Goodfellas logo on it. Yeah, why didn't have the good cellar's logo on it? Well, that seems like they're just, that seems like reckless with your IP theft. Yeah.

we got a good lawyer all right thank you guys for doing this i i still had a lot of stuff left which is crazy because like i did go to cora and read a few guys like lying about fireworks that were really good but uh we can save it for bonus i know it's late where just to peek behind the curtain here obviously when we record with tom these are the only ones i don't know if people can tell but these are the only ones we record at night because he's in australia obviously And tonight, I had a family thing. So we're recording this even later. It's like 1035 where Brian is.

1034. Thank you. Tom, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Yeah, sure. Thanks for having me, for one. Fireworks guys really, really opened my brain to a new type of guy, which I wasn't expecting. You got to go look at R slash fireworks and just type Hall. Yeah, this actually, I might do that.

Like, this is one of those guys where I've become fascinated with it. the mount that they are. I want to like watch some of these things. And I want to see them doing it in their neighborhood. They do post their show. I want to see them running the show. I want to see the like I want to see an amateur pyro musical now. I want to see what it's set to.

I want to see like a bird man style fucking one shot video of some guy running the absolute craziest show you've ever seen in the middle of a neighborhood with a bunch of kids. To put together like an American movie style. documentary on the guy preparing for his big fireworks show. Wow. That's crazy. I just watched American movie on YKS for Mike Tober. It's so good.

I watched it for the first time in my life for Mike Tover. It's so good. Yeah. So fucking good. Anyways, but we didn't get all your plugs. We just started talking about fireworks. Yeah, sorry. I just was like, oh, so grateful for the episode.

Check out BigSoft titty. PNG. That's my podcast with my wife, Demi. Demi Lodna, she, uh, she's the guest on fart guys as well as other episodes of this podcast. Um, we thought, we thought fart guys were gone. The fartologists was gone somehow. The fartologist has returned. He was gone for like a long time and he came back and he's like, he did the, he destroyed a hotel room.

He does like a two minute 17 second compilation of just like these insane Indian blasters like I've never seen. Well, he's got a new one, Chris. that is Burger King disgusting all-night hotel fart fest. He's doing a lot of these all-nighters, Tom, and they're getting, like, these all-nighters are, they got to smell. Like, I, they freak, they make me feel a bit more uneasy than his other ones. He also has disgusting Indian hotel fart fest in Prague. He's back in Prague.

Yeah, he goes to Prague a lot. He travels. Well, he travels to go visit his, um, gymnast girlfriend, his gymnast, girlfriend who lives in Prague. What fucking doughboys listen to Dinai's? is that. That is fucking crazy. Some people think she's fake. She's a AI. Nobody knows for sure. It looks kind of like a Photoshop, but it's hard to tell. I believe that I just think he has a, for those of you haven't checked him out, he's on the mostly on the bonus episodes. I guess we did check him out on fart guys. And the stream. Yeah, the British guy. Oh, and the stream, yeah, but I think he's just,

he's got an incredible amount of charisma. And it doesn't surprise me that he has, you know, like a smart, beautiful girl. My wife loves my farts. Bye. Bye. Bye.