Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 162 - Toys Guys with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

This week on Guys we had the very cool and funny Jordan Morris to talk about Toys Guys. We heard about a hot wheels war story. We saw some very angry grown men and some big wheel business ideas. Finally we read some truly nuts reviews of Toy Stores. There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201    

Welcome to guys, a podcast about our guys. I am Brian, grown man. My co-hosts here is Chris. Hi, Chris. Big boy, big boy grown man. Yeah, that was one. Yeah, and I am also a grown man. Nope.

And, oh, I'm not. You're a child. I mean, only one of us. I mean, we're talking about toys. It's been much covered. There's only one of us that plays with toys super regularly. Well, that's not true. I do play with toys, but it's with my two.

year old son. You play with toys by yourself all the time. I play with toys with my daughter sometimes. Again, your daughter's 21 and I mean, I guess you could, but I just, I've met her. It doesn't seem like she plays, it seems like she has a regular sort of college student life where she, you know, looks at her phone and watches things and stuff like that. Oh, you sound like one of the guys we're going to cover today. And our guests. All these fucking kids, man, they don't. Well, you know me. I, I, I, I find that I'll watch a zombie apocalypse movie and I'm thinking, oh, this looks an awful lot like when I go to the mall and I see some of these teenagers. Oh, shit. So Jordan, Jesse, go.

We have Jordan Morris. Hi, Jordan. Hey, man. And hey, look, these kids today need to get off their phones and get into a nice he man. Agreed. Yes. Can I just say, by the way? Live in the real world and play with a he man.

I saw that they're making a he man movie. Did you know that? I just saw a trailer. I watch every single news story related to it. And I have heard that they make a joke about pronouns. They do. They do. And people are mad, question mark?

It's woke. It's woke. Yeah, because I, listen, I haven't been watching the news about the He-Man movie. I don't have a news alert on my Google for it, but I did see a trailer at the movie theater for it. And it did not, I mean, who knows? It looks great. To me, it looked really bad, but...

It looks fantastic. Okay. I'm a big he-man. I love that he's woke. Yeah. I think it's great. Well, he's not woke. I think the joke is that his name, it's his name on like a desk thing and it says he, him.

Right. Which is kind of like, oh, he's a he man. You know what I mean? I think that's the joke. I think they just think it's like, would be cool? Like, these anti-woke guys are always like, what would be cool if he, like, I would be cool if he, like, I would be cool if he, like, I would, I would they would have made a black to tell you the truth or gay or something like that. That's what I want to

see. He-Man, fucking man-at-arms. No, I was a huge fan of He-Man as a kid. That was like my favorite shit in the whole white world. I was too. I can't lie. I was into He-Man. I had a lot of the toy. Hey, we're talking toys. I had a lot of He-Man toys when I was younger, for sure. Aaron had like the best he-man toy. Guaranteed, yeah, you know it. That is one, what jealous. That is one of the jealous that That would actually truly be one of the most jealous things I had with him was that I went to us, we go to his house after school and listen. You go to his house. You go to the obviously, you go to like have a meeting or whatever and you're going to go to

the leader's house. We go to, we go to Aaron's house to smoke after school because his parents aren't around. He's got a little place to hide, you know. Yeah. We go into his room sometimes. He had a big sound system in his room, like big speakers. You know what I mean? Very cool.

And we would go in there to listen to rap music. Mm-hmm. And I would look up in his fucking closet and right up in his closet was the Eternia playset. I love that you were simultaneously, like you were, you were smoking cigarettes, but also very interested in the He-Man toy. So I'm trying to decide if you were way too young to be smoking or way too old to be interested in He-Man toys. I was probably 12 or 13. And I do remember being like, I'm slight, I want to ask him if we can take the attorney a set down and play with it. But if I did, I'd probably get beat up.

Yeah. If you don't know his group of friends, that was a daddy. I think they were already doing violence at that point. I do feel like it's a very funny image to me, a bunch of kids smoking cigarettes playing with like action figures. Yeah. I mean, these guys, I mean, were these, did these guys like hollow out, Castle Gray skull to like put stolen riddlin in it. Well, I mean, that would be that would be so accurate.

They'll never look for the stolen riddlin in this inside Castle Gray skull. You don't even know how accurate that is. Right. So he had eternity and that made me really jealous because sick, dude. His only child, his dad died. He got extra money every month because of it. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, when your dad dies, you get all kinds of cool toys.

I know. I think he's money. And that sounds like one of the. Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. good. Not to sound like one of the guys we'll probably talk about, but my, I'm jealous of this toy was always the turtle van, the van that the Ninja Turtles drove around in. Yes, I definitely,

I don't know if I had that. I remember I had like some sort of a toy, Teenage Meant Ninja Turtle toy where they would shoot the pizzas, the little pizzas out. My friend just got that for Christmas weirdly this year, like one of my good buddies. One of your 10-year-old friends. This friend was in his 40s. his brother got it for him like hey remember we had this pizza shoe a little nostalgia gift to sort of remember the good times or whatever you know what i thought about when i looked at it what you're gonna do with that thing yeah no i mean that's listen at my age that's what i often think of when i see a toy is what am i going to do with that thing yeah i mean i'm not going to play with it obviously uh but yeah i think some adults might play with it yeah a lot of adults might play with toys

We're going to look at some. I guess you did the research so you would know better than us. I went to toy arc. It's where you can look at fresh toy news and talk. I just want to ask before, Jordan, are you, when did you stop playing with toys or did you? Or do you still play with toys? No, not a toy guy over here. But I'm not, you know, I'm not going to try and like high road the toy guys because I am still like a comic book guy and video game guy.

So, yeah. I do hang out on various subredits dedicated to that. So I see the toy guys kind of drift over into those worlds. So I, you know, I, I, yeah, I've interacted with the toy guys a little bit, but I personally don't like to collect toys. When did you stop? At what age did you stop playing with toys? Would you say if you, maybe like 10.

Then I think that became all about. That's a very regular age. And Brian, what year did you stop playing? I don't need to talk about that. It's like a ballpark. Actually younger than Jordan. probably younger than Jordan really because I started smoking at 12. So I was already an adult.

Mm-hmm. You were adult minded. I did. I'm collecting butterfly knives. I've said this before. I literally, I got in trouble when I was like seven because all I watched was MTV. Like I was like quick to like I want to be an adult immediately because I hated having pets.

And that was back when they used to actually play music on. It's true. It's true. And they actually played videos. Yeah, remember when there's actually music videos on American Much Music? Yes. Yeah. So, of course, there's the, there's the, we've talked about this a few times with action figures and with, uh, Funkopox, boxing or unboxed?

Did I say Funkopox? Yeah, I think you did actually. The Flubheads will let us know in the end if you did. That's probably what, you know. That's probably what those guys call the like the compulsion to collect. Funco pops bad because there's a gold rocket raccoon. I got the fun copse bad. I steered away from a few things.

First I'm going to start out by saying the greatest search term usually is wife, but for toy guys, the greatest search term, grown man. Well, I would say maybe because a lot of them. Very mad. A lot of them don't have a wife possibly. Maybe, maybe. But when you search grown man on any of these things. it makes they get very angry about the dude not like people saying like why are you as a grown man collecting teenage mutant ninja turtles which i think is unfair to do to them too

yeah and we're not talking about any legos by the way i left legos out we already did lego guys it's not really even a toy yeah that makes sense but i i i mean i i understand i mean i understand what it is i think it's very much like nostalgia thing right it's like you're playing with it because it's something that you did most of them probably did it when they were a kid and that was a very happy time maybe for them and they had no worries and they liked to go back to that time. I am interested in the people who didn't play with toys and then got into them later.

I wonder if those people even exist though. Oh, yeah. If your family's like a Christian science family or you're some some religious sect that doesn't have toys but you whittle or something and then when you break away from your family, it's like, fuck it, I'm getting all the thunder cats. Yeah, your first, your Rumspringer involves,

you going to a funco pop story. I will say this, having Jordan on this episode is perfect because we had them on comic book guys. Yes. And the other reason for toy collecting is very bad investment, but investment nonetheless. Yeah, that's the same with Funko Pop. I was talking to when I, I'll say, I've been talking about a lot, but when I went to the King Buffalo show, um, the lead singer of that band is a great band.

They, he was telling me that his like, yeah, his one of the band members brothers was a huge Funko Pop guy and that was his whole thing was when asked about it it was always well this is I'm flipping them and it's like well yeah you you flipped a couple of them but like let's look at the ledger on this one man I don't think I don't think you're in the black it's just collecting things is never I mean listen unless you're I knew this guy who collected silver because he thought the world was going to end different kind of different kind of guy Yeah, yeah. But he collected something.

Yeah. It's maybe worse something. Now, when he would show me a silver, I, you know, you expect to get like, you know, the silver coin thing or whatever. It was just silver shavings in a fucking, uh, like, zip lock bag. Like he carried around with him, he'd be like, you want to see my silver? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, I'm like, that looks pathetic.

I didn't tell that. Where did he get that? Like, where did he even get that from, I wonder. I don't know where you buy that kind of silver. I guess you would just be like, I guess you could go online and search silver and if you don't have enough money. You could grind down a spoon or something? But then, yeah, but why wouldn't you just keep this spoon? I'm like, oh, this guy has a bunch of spoons.

Silverware, yeah, that's what you think of. Silverware, yeah. And he's like, well, I can melt this down after the zombie apocalypse turns the world into a dumpster fire. You know, well, in my opinion, I don't know if I've said this, but when I go to the mall, I feel like the zombie apocalypse is already happened. Oh, yeah. One of the things I did... Instead of brains, these kids are eating dopamine hits from Daddy Zuckerberg. Oh, yeah.

Instead of brains, these guys are having tied pods as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. I mean, the thing about this guy was he did end up hating me in the end because he is a very conservative guy. He's like a big... Well, he's a Nazi to tell you the truth. You're telling me the guy who thought the whole world was going to end was a conservative. But he had this silver and he held it up. He said, I saw the He-Man trailer.

I know the world's going to shit. So he worked at the cable. He worked at the cable company with me and he carried his silver shavings at his work van. And when he showed him to me, I said, what, like, so he was the second weirdest guy at the cable company. Come on. That's way weirder than anything I did. He was so convinced that the world was going to end at. any moment. He's like, I'm going to bring my getaway shit to work with me just in case I can't

go home first. I wonder if he was eyeing your butter knife. Brian used the butter knife instead of a screwdriver. I wonder if he was checking, look at it at it. Like, I wonder what that's married. Oh, was that real silver? Well, but I think one of the last things we ever talked about was when he showed me those silver shavings. I was like, what do you plan to do with that? He was like, when, when everything goes down, I'm going to use it to buy. stuff. I was like, nobody's going to want that. Yeah. I mean, like, why would somebody want silver? Yeah, it has to be a commodity that's like worthwhile. It's not like they're just all the sudden going to, yeah, the whole world then, water, fuel, things like that are going to be what you actually need. Although,

you know, we talk about the zombie apocalypse all the time. A werewolf apocalypse, that's possible. Oh, yeah. Yes. You melt it to bullets. Yes, I never considered it for. Never thought about the werewolf apocalypse. That is a good point. I mean, you see these kids at the mall on their phones, and I'm like, are they a bunch of werewolves? Werewolves? Because some of them, they've been looking at their phone so long they forget to shave, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that they're at the mall, too. Like, kids don't go to the mall. Oh, you haven't been to Metro Town Mall during Christmas break. Are you kidding me? Metro Town Mall and Burnaby during Christmas break? It's nonstop teenagers.

over the place. Yeah. Well, let's skip the box or unboxed thing because I have this article, this thing from a R slash hot wheels. Ah, this is, this is my nephew,

four years old. His favorite toy is a hot wheel. So I do know a lot about hot wheels. I'm often playing with hot wheels. Well, let's hear this story. This is a fantastic story. There's a 60-something Asian guy at our local target.

He's there before 8 a.m. every single day. Waiting at the entrance for the entrance. For the first batch of Hot Wheels restocks, I go to the gym in the morning. So I also stop by Target before heading to the gym to see if there are any new Hot Wheels. Okay. So this really weird guy is doing the exact same thing as you. But hold on.

I'm not a loser because I'm on my way to the gym. I'm going to the gym. This other guy, he's not going to. He's probably going somewhere else weird. Yeah, I never see him at the gym. He's in terrible shape. I only see him at Target. He doesn't go anywhere else, period.

He might even live there. I don't know. But he doesn't know what the rest of this guy's day looks like. You know? He goes, recently team transport released a fast and furious LBWK skyline. Nice. Hell yes. Once we both saw it at the same time.

Ooh, I got the Hot Wheels pops. Just hearing you describe it. Once we both saw it at the same time, I'm pretty sure my hand touched it first, but then he also grabbed it. This is like a jingle all the way or whatever. What's that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie? Oh, it's like for Turbo Man. Yeah, exactly. This is like a straight out of a movie scene where your boat, you look, you grab it and you look and his hands already on it.

Or is this a meat cute? Is this these two guys, you know, two hot wheel guys, their fingers overlap looking for that Lamborghini kuntosh? I don't know that many cars. Well, he, I, I, I hate to tell you, this did not turn into a relationship. Because in the end, he saw that I didn't want to argue. So he let go. Which, by the way. How long I wonder was the hold.

I wonder how long they were both holding on to it before the other, the older man was like, oh, I think this guy might try to physically fight me if I don't let go with it. He let go. That makes you the fucking weird one. Yes, he was the one who was like, okay, it's not that important to me that I'm, you know, I'm not going to stay here all day. So it sounds to me like, sounds to me like, you know, your gym time, you can get there pretty much any time you want. He goes, I thanked him afterward, but it's clear he was not happy. Yesterday for some reason, he talked about me in front of another collector.

This wasn't the first time he'd done this. He said, this guy'll snatch stuff from you. Be careful and kept talking shit and pointing at me. I directly rebutted saying that I was the one who touched it first. In short, we had a bit of a dispute. Today I was the first one at the entrance. Usually whoever arrives first should be the first to go. I usually abide by this simple rule.

However, today, halfway through, he tried to speed up and overtake me. So I started jogging. I love this guy. He was sprinting. Yeah. Yeah. I broke into a light jog. This guy was like full on Tom Cruise running.

I can see it. This really is like a children's movie. This is like exactly like the idea you know that he's walking and then he sees him walking faster and then he starts speeding up. Like this is really like you can't write this. This is fantastic cinema here. I want to. There's a just a logic question here too when he's like, oh, I saw this guy talking about me in front of another collector. Where are they?

Are they like at a hot wheel? Target. No, I think they're standing outside. They're in, yeah, either outside. They're standing waiting for it to open probably. Which is insane, by the way. Which also, if, if you're there every day. Yeah.

That's not like, nor, he's no more normal than the 66 year old guy that's there every day. I would say he's much less normal. The 60, six, six year old guy didn't run. And again, he gave up the toy when it came down to it. It's like, this is, though, you know this guy's talking. talking about this guy to everyone. He's like his nemesis or whatever. Some people I think like to have a nemesis. Like it makes him feel good or something because yeah, it seems like, yeah, the guy was telling us the story about when you took that hot, that haul wheel. He was telling someone else

a story because it's a crazy story. And then it's like, oh, he's talking shit about me. He's saying what happened exactly, it sounds like. Yeah. In the end, I got to the dump bin first, grab some cars and tried to leave directly, but he still tried to harass me. He even said he would report me to the police. I don't know, man. L. Well, wow. Okay.

I mean, if he's saying he's going to report you, that is a bit far. But I don't, I don't believe. I don't believe anything this guy says. I love how this guy is just trying to act like, I'm just a casual hot wheels fan. I'm not some weirdo like these guys. Like, I do hang around to Target, but only because it's on the way to the gym. Yeah. Like, yeah, I like, I'll just be driving by.

wheels. As long as I'm getting groceries and paper towels, I might as well get a hot wheels. I guess I'll sprint to the hot wheels box and, you know, grab a bunch of the fucking cheapest hot wheels before anyone else can get him. I mean, if I'm in the area, I'll do it. Yeah, I guess I'll get into psychological warfare with a 60-year-old man and probably getting him for his grandkids or something like that. He's probably a totally normal guy. I was just there to buy a shirt and I saw the hot wheel. And I saw the hot wheels and I broke into an Usain Bolt sprint towards it. The commenters did not look at this guy with a lot of reverence.

He goes, is this really what the hobby has become? Two grown men running to be the first to the toy section. Makes me happy I don't hunt the pegs anymore. I learned that's also. Hunting the pegs? Yeah. Yeah, because the pegs, they put the hot wheels on a peg. in a store, right?

That thing with the... Yeah, I can see it. It's a little... Yeah, I've never heard it referred to as that. Hunting the pegs? Yeah, I've never heard hunting the pegs, no. I mean, I call it pegging. I'm like, that's when I go out for toys.

I'm like, I'm gonna go pegging tonight. You know, it is very hard. One of the things when you're searching for to do a toy guy's episode, trying to find adults that play with toys. Oh. doing some of the searches. Sure, yeah.

You got to be specific with your search terms, I'm sure. Oh, yeah, of course. You end up at the Motor Bunny website or whatever. But to be fair, to be fair, I feel like a fair amount of these guys also shove this stuff up their ass. This guy goes, there are weirdos on here that will defend it and claim you're not, quote, hustling enough or be all snooze you lose. And it's like, bro, we're talking about one to $7 little cars. It's genuinely so sad. It's the same vibe as dudes who flip PS5s and Pokemon cards.

They don't care what they're buying. It's all about making money or feeling superior over what they have. So that does exist in Hot Wheels, I guess, then, that there's, like, certain ones where there's, like, a sparsity or whatever. So they only put out, like, I know that's a huge thing with Pokemon cards. That's, like, a well-known thing online where there's all those adults who go and just clean that. They have to make all these rules at the toy stores and stuff because they'll go and get all of and then resell them for a bunch of money.

So that does happen with Hot Wheels you found, Brian? Yeah, I think I, because there's another, we'll look at another thing where a guy found a bunch of the same car at Kroger. Mm-hmm. Fries, but it was Kroger in my city. And like, people are. Ralf would be Ralphs over here in L.A. We don't have one in Canada.

We don't have any in Canada. They have very weak toilets in Canada, uh, grocery stores. I'll say that right now. So, yeah, I've never found that. Jordan personally, but yeah, Brian had a, I guess, an experience where he felt that the toilet was not up to snuff in regards to being all the handle his insanely. A hearty American turn. Yeah, exactly.

We, we're, I guess there's a lot of talk on the podcast about Canadian versus American shits and how you guys are much doing. We, we shit differently down here. Yeah. You snowflakes up there with your health care. You wouldn't know. Smallest little dainty shits up there. Yeah, no, I've taken some normal size ones, I think, and it's tough.

I haven't talked to many people. I don't know that it's like a fair representation of America. I have only talked to Brian and I think he he might be dealing with like sort of an anomaly when it comes to shit size. Yeah, that's the same exact fucking thing I was told by someone else in this very sub before. I was complaining about not finding a specific car because of quote, people like that, unquote. And some guy replied, you don't get out enough. two times a week first thing in the morning isn't enough stop crying like yeah okay that may be true

but i can hardly get out of bed as is let alone super early as if i'm just going to dedicate my whole life to getting these toy cars they're cool but ultimately just that at the end of the day so i wonder some of these guys are older possibly i'm thinking of their older car guys right where they're like hey i'm really into cars and so like hot wheels makes actual versions of these cars or whatever. So I imagine that's like some of what these people are. I mean, I love to in this post. There is kind of a like sad short story. There is kind of a for sale baby shoes never worn. It's it's hard enough to get out of bed as it is. Yeah. That caught me as well. Like this guy might be dealing with depression or something like that or or yeah, he's just maybe not a

morning person. Possibly. Yeah, that could be just maybe not a morning person. But it seemed to it seemed to be loaded to me. It was very, it was very sad. thing to sort of just toss in the middle of a post about getting Hot Wheels cards. Yeah. There's a few other things in here too. He goes, hunting is fun, silly little side thing. Like, I'm sorry, I have a job of my mother to take care of. Clearly both things. I'm sorry, man. It's good that you're taking care of. You should be able to get your cars. Yeah. Yeah, like, but it's nice that you are taking care of your mother. And I mean, I guess I do understand collecting and finding something. Like I do like that.

I sure, Jordan, maybe you, like, I don't know if it's like that for comic books and stuff like that. But it's like I do enjoy the hunt when it comes to stuff. Like, I was a baseball card collector for a long time. And I just, I understand that like going out and trying to find it and then you find one and it's really exciting. I think that that part I understand. Yeah. And this guy goes, I went to Target on two separate occasions about a month or two apart because I too was looking for an LBWK team transport. Peg was always empty.

first was around 12 p.m. Middle age male. Peg was always empty, the sad story of a collector of a oh, that's a peg was always empty really sad, really sad. Also the plot of married with children. Right. When you think about it, Peg Bundy, she was trying to fill her life with sex with Al. That's very, very smart joke, Brian. That's a very good, yes. Thank you. I appreciate it. After a few, after a few minutes going through the peg, after a few, minutes the guy left. I checked the pegs for any good cars and then as I'm leaving, the guy comes back around from the other end of the aisle. So he laughed thinking that that guy was going to leave and he came back around another circle and waiting for him to leave. Then this guy,

then he goes, next occasion was around 10 or 11 a.m. Another older male going through the pegs, knocking cars off. I wait patiently. Even went around to the next aisle. I don't think you need, I don't think these guys need to clarify that these are males. I think we could just, you don't have to say man. Yeah, I think this is a very, very much a male-dominated thing. Yeah. The Hot Wheels is a male-dominated hot-being. Well, when you get to adulthood, I think that there are a lot of, like, younger, you know,

they might like playing with Hot Wheels or whatever when they're younger. But, yeah, when you're older, I think this is, yeah, this is a male thing. And it's funny because, like, I wanted to do Hot Wheels guys. it kind of isn't a big enough, like, world to find the stuff because a couple years ago when I was going to the convention center all the time. Before you were banned. I'm not banned from, I can go there right now if I wanted to. But you've been asked to leave a few times.

Yes, two or three. No big deal. I could go there right now if I wanted to. And I'm going to go there next week with Arnold Classic. But I saw a Hot Wheels convention and these guys, I mean, these were not young men. You know what I mean? And it was a lot of, I didn't see a lot of fucking kids there. I'm sorry.

So maybe it is like, I understand that a kid can't get to a convention unless his parents take some. I love the idea of a dad being like, well, yeah, it's going to cost like extra for you to get an admission into the convention. and that's money I couldn't spend on more hot wheels. So, yeah, I think this is going to be a daddy-only trip this year. Hot wheels that you can't touch. Hey, do not touch these hot wheels. He goes, I wait patiently, even went around to the next aisle over to browse. About five minutes later, I move up towards the guy to look.

I say, excuse me, guy looked at me, mumbled something about being too short, then left, grabbed what I liked, and then also left. Is this what Hot Wheels collecting has come to? I love the moment here where he goes over an aisle and pretends to browse at something else that he clearly doesn't want. He's like, yeah. Oh, air friars. Huh, okay. Interesting.

We would never know how to use it. Yeah, he's just like, oh, yeah, this is something I could. Oh, oh, clear over on the Hot Wheels aisle. Oh, Stanley Cups. Okay. Yeah, these are kind of cool. I can see what everybody likes about these. Yeah, yeah.

I love this exchange right here. Some people think little toy cars will make them millionaires and they can retire from whatever miserable life they're living. Stay strong, buddy, and then the OP replies. Original poster. Yeah. I can tell all he's got right now as Hot Wheels. I don't even know why he keeps buying Hot Wheels since he said he never sells or trades. Oh, okay. So he's this, well, he could be lying. Some of those people lie. Definitely the Pokemon collectors lie about it because they know how much it's frowned upon, as it should be. You're taking a children's toy and creating this like market that pushes the prices way up.

Like you are a villain if you are taking a children's toy, like cleaning off a shelf and then reselling it for much higher. That's awful shit. Well, then the next guy, the guy comes back, goes most likely a lie. They're resellers saying, I don't sell or trade, hoping to get sympathy so you can contribute to their great score of their quote collection, L. And then the guy, OP replies again, yeah, I think so. He's probably selling those cars to Asia or something. I saw him at Hot Wheels He marked a couple times, but he's not the seller.

But yeah, he'd probably sell out of the country. So he's like, I've done some research and tried to track him down where he's selling them and I haven't been able to find any sort of. But so that tells me he must be doing this internationally if I can't track it down. He's like, hey, listen, I resell the Hot Wheels, but I do it in the good old U.S. USA. I would never let some Asian buy my Hot Wheels. Let's take a look at...

I would never let someone in Laos buy this. He's selling them to Asia. It's like he sold to the Chinese Communist Party. Right. Yeah. A traitor. A traitor. A Benedict Arnold.

Those are our Hot Wheels. Here's a story about a guy who sold... This is from a horror stories thing from a toy message board. In January, I had a hot... Toy's Padme Amadala from Attack of the Clones that I put up on eBay. After bidding, it went for just north of $400. I shipped it to the guy, then he received it. He immediately left me positive feedback, thanking him for such a great item and how pleased

he was considering the cost. A week goes by, and I receive a new message on eBay from the buyer. He sent pictures of the shipper box and outer box, both with a big hole in them. He says the figure's undamaged, but it's worthless now because the box is damaged. he wants to get a refund and quote offers to return it what am i supposed to do with it now thankfully after oh because there's a hole in it now and he just wants to resell it yeah yeah and the box there's a hole in the box and yeah i mean you could give it to a child and they could play with it but yeah that's crazy thankfully after many back and forth conversations with the

eBay customer service eBay had my back and he didn't get shit what did it was the initial positive feedback he had that left. The boxes were pristine when I mailed them and if there was any damage it would have happened from the carrier, UPS, which I found out you're still responsible for as the seller, by the way. But honestly, I'm pretty sure the holes were put in afterward, maybe by a significant other that wasn't happy about the $400 purchase and demanded it go back. Is that something you have experience with sir? A significant other being not happy with you spending a bunch of money on toys. If I could say for my experience, it has to be.

It's such a funny thing to be like, I think of a significant other damage. Yeah, it was good. He gave positive feedback. And all of a sudden, his wife just, yeah, I mean, that's a real spiteful significant other. Because you know that it's a collector thing and you just damage the box just to make, and it's so easy to do. Because it's just a little soft cardboard plastic box, right? And his wife wants her $400 back.

so she damages the box to try to maybe yeah maybe yeah maybe she's like I want we need that we need that money Jared we need that money for fucking bills and stuff like that and then he he's like this you don't understand in 10 years this'll be fucking paying for everything but you know yeah yeah yeah yeah he's arguing that it's definitely I went to Facebook vintage toys hmm Facebook page these are funny to me it will not be funny to a listener to hear parts of this stuff because it's like a lot of it's funny to me because I would look okay so there was a post about frisbees right I call them discs there were frisbies that came with keds shoes in like the 60s or 70s they had red ones and they have blue ones and like 90% of the comments were like

I have blue I have red and I'm like why are you like who cares right what is what is what is what is Possessing you. I know. There's that kind of internet comment where it's like something in this person's brain just compels them to comment even though it doesn't add anything to it. No. I was on, uh, I went on the R slash San Diego subreddit once to like, um, I was there for an event and I wanted to like do a, do a like bar hang afterwards.

So I was like, I'm going to go on the San Diego subreddit and like see where like a good bar with a patio is. And like a lot of people were very helpful and, you know, like suggesting specific bars. But there was this guy who posted, and I'll always remember it, he just posted, just find a place that has what you want and go there. Yeah. Did you, Jordan, did you, did you have anyone suggest the video game bar in San Diego downtown? There's a great video game bar that we went to. It's across the street from a place where you can ride a mechanical bowl.

No. Oh, I know that place. I have a picture in front of it. Yeah, that sounds like some real San Diego as shit. I don't think I've been. But yeah, I'm sure that suggestion thread had a lot of people suggesting that. It's, oh, they have pinball epic, bro. It was really good. It's like at all the stuff, man. It was really legit. I went there with all past guests, Tom Walker, and I think maybe Stefan and Jesse, a bunch of people when they're there for TwitchCon. And it was really fun. I've mentioned this before. They didn't even invite me. The video game episode, uh, you. You're not involved with Twitch at that point at all. Didn't invite me, didn't even ask me if I wanted to go.

No. And I, um, I would, that was where I lost so badly to Tom Walker at Street Fighter. He didn't tell me he's very good at the game. And then, and then we started playing and it was humiliating.

He's like a street fighter hustler. Yeah. He really got my ass and it was not for any. I guess I played this at a pizza place that is as a kid. I guess I could kind of try and then. Oh, the A's the kick. Okay.

Yeah, I'll work with that a little bit. Meanwhile, two flawless victories. on my ass. I wish I would have seen that. Well, they're called a street fighter. Flawless Victory is Mortal Kombat. Oh, I'm sorry. Come on, man.

Yeah, and I wish I would have seen it. Yeah, wait, I'm starting to. You know what? Now that it might have been Mortal Kombat. I don't remember. I remember it was a fighting game. I would kill you in Mortal Kombat. I'll tell you that right now. You would kill me in Mortal Kombat like Arcade or. Mortal Kombat 3. For what? Arcade or Nintendo. Oh, okay. Nintendo. It was, it was, it came up. It came up for Super Nintendo.

Yeah. All I did for years was do drugs and play Mortal Kombat 3. Who's your main? Who's your main in Mortal Kombat 3? Sonia Blade. Hell. Okay. This is a woke guy. You did it because you were woke. I did it for woke reasons. I would love to play you in Mortal Kombat.

You just like to look at her jugs. No, it was because I think women should be involved in Mortal Kombat as much as men. Thank you, Brian. That's really, that's really cool. Jordan, if you knew him, if you knew him at that time, it was one of, 100% about the jugs 100%. Actually, for real though, it was 100% about the leg move where she could flip up and flip you with her leg. I do remember that.

If you caught somebody with that move, it took off a lot of... It's unblockable too, you know? Yeah. You can block it if you get down like this, but you can, yeah, fuck them up. Anyway, vintage toys. Hey, everyone. Let's zoom back to 1960. I told you about us playing Mortal Kombat.

Aaron won a championship. Yeah, I know. Aaron was a leader of the gang that Brian was in a gang. We weren't in a gang and I was a leader. So you were playing Mortal Kombat to like practice moves that you would do with the gang to real people on the street. You're like, let's do some of this stuff to, you know, innocent citizens. I did the rings. Yeah, he's like, oh, this would probably work really well on an older lady leaving a grocery store.

Right. You has a team performed a lot of fatalities, right? that was the game though that you played at the airport because you thought yes mortal combat three we'd play it at the airport in the airport because you he figured some international mortal combat players would land and then they could show them what Columbus had to offer that's true and it sounds sad but you used to be able to hang out at the airport you know before before the towers fell you could yep yep and we used to go crazy at the airport causing problems anyway hey everyone let's zoom back to 1960s

when the big wheel by Marx hit the streets and changed the game of childhood rides. This legendary tricycle with its chunky plastic frame and oversized front wheel was the dream of every kid on the block. Let's check out some comments. Ray says, I wanted one and one. Never got one. I also wanted an orange crate swin. Never got one. Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

Huh. How wistful. So. Yeah, I bet there's an element to these guys, especially when you get a, into like the vintage toys of like, uh, simpler times, huh?

Oh, yeah. That's when childhood was real. And also, I have some thoughts about bathrooms and who can go in what bathroom. You know, I bet it goes there pretty quick of like, this guy goes,

this guy, Randall says, if they made those for adults and sold liquor, it would be a riot. What do you mean? I don't understand like, like what if they sold like you talking? Where does he mean?

He means like a ball. or a racetrack for the size of big wheels that you could ride while you're drunk yes that's his idea but yeah he's probably writing up the business plan still like and then there will be huge adult size big wheels oh you could drink anything there's so many beers we got beers on tap and big wheels and can have a DUI can have a DUI on a big wheels right like listen I don't have it they took away my driver's license but I can't ride a big wheel Yeah, there's one thing I can do is go hang out with my friends at the big wheel bar and get absolutely shit face and ride her out to track on our big wheels. Telling his wife that seriously, you'd be able to ride big wheels inside the bar.

Yeah. Drunk. Right. As hell. It would be crazy. Yeah. People would go nuts. They'd be screaming and everything.

Then this guy goes, love mine till my folks took it away. Oh, yikes. Yeah. I wonder what he did. I don't know. But then this is from Gen X toys. Kind of mine. I mean,

I'm on the edge there. Sometimes I think I remember. I'm an exenial too. Yeah. I'm like, sometimes I think I'm a millennial. Cool. Yeah.

Hey, you're a real, you're a real girl boss. You're a real, a real Hufflepuff girl boss. I'm the one coming into the Reddit thread with, uh, where you guys are talking about Gen X and saying,

I'm a millennial. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think I remember toys that didn't exist. Were there early transformers that had little men? that sat in the cockpit. They were about an inch tall and had magnetic hands and feet, called them magnet men. I mean, that sounds believable, but I don't remember that specifically.

I don't remember that either. So they're called diaclones. And maybe I'm wrong about that, but in Japan, they call them diaclones. So you're going to hear that word a decent amount. This guy goes, hold up. How many of you actually were able to get a diaclon after a kid as a kid? I had transformers out the butt, but could never get my hands. hands on a diaclum from Japan.

Now, this is a, listen, I have to read this because this is a very common type of reply in Facebook toy groups, okay? Ryan goes, I had a rich buddy who had them before the Transformers came out. He had all the toys. Legos out the ass. His dad was a lawyer. He killed himself, though, so I couldn't ask him. Oh, my gosh.

Rest in peace, man. Sorry, buddy. That is a common thing, I guess, is like the stories of the rich friend who they got this shit before it even hit the market somehow. Mario 3. Yeah. I knew a person that got Mario 3. They let us borrow it. And of course.

We had a kid in our class who brought us Crystal Pepsi before it was on the market. Ooh. Where did they get a hold of it? Did they ever explain how they got it early? I think dad worked for Pepsi. And yeah, he brought it in. we each got to have a little sip a lot of fun. We're like, this is the future of soda.

I was the first kid in my school to get Crystal Pepsi. Really? Uh-huh. How so? How did you get it first? Went to the store the night before. Oh, you. When it came out that day and my, it was like, Dad, you got to buy us each of Crystal Pepsi.

And then I didn't drink it. I took it to school and was like, hey, everybody, I'm drinking this Crystal Pepsi over here, you know. And it was gross. You and two other, you and other soda guys were sprinting. into the soda. Well, there is a type of toy that you don't see as much these days, and that's toy guns. Right. Yeah, yeah, I used to have cap guns definitely when I was, when I was junker.

I loved cap guns. I loved playing guns. You love guns. You like guns now still. So a picture one up behind you on your wall. I do. I have a picture of a pink gun on my wall. But you've said many times that you want to get a gun, but your wife won't let you.

She refuses to let me. like really on this shit lately no gun no metallica at the sphere okay brian don't bring this it brian's been complaining about this to be over text a lot lately how he wants to go on one of his monthly vacations he goes on a vacation

every single month i don't go on a vacation every month you're going to los angeles very soon um and yeah so he wants to go to los vegas to see metallica at the sphere and the way even he was telling me he's just like oh i really want to show Katie Las Vegas, but it's like... That's exactly it. But it doesn't sound like she's interested in going at all. No, she is. She wants to see Las Vegas. She's just

not interested in going while Metallica's there. I see. I mean... Selfish. I'm like not a huge Metallica guy. I bet that's fucking sick. I'm kind of with you, Brian. I bet that... I bet that's fun as hell. Well, Jordan, I do have to

tell you that I saw them last summer and they were very old men and they were not very good. But, and that's what my wife keeps saying. My wife keeps saying, like, you said they sucked. And I was like, I know, but in a funny way. Yeah. And I agree with Jordan, though, that I'm not a Metallica fan at all, except for St.

Anger is, I think, one of the great rock songs of all time. Right. Is that my lifestyle determines my death style? That is for, it is, I believe. Actually, that's the. So I, but I do think like these big, huge bands in the sphere or whatever, they probably will put, They've been doing it for so long. They have so much money behind their show that they'll put on a really cool show that'll be, you know, good.

But yeah, we have seen clips of, like James Helfield will leave the stage in the middle of the set and go and drink coffee to try to like stay awake. That's not a lie. There's like real photos of him. I need a little pep. So he are, they're getting to. A couple times. They take breaks all the time. But at the sphere, when Lars and James are taking one of their long breaks, boom, you got the sphere stuff.

you got the sphere stuff going. Oh, they start playing some videos on the sphere like like commercials probably for black and metallic and whiskey. Yeah, some chive TV possibly but watching chive TV on the sphere. I saw, speaking of bands we saw who are too old to be doing it who are kind of hilariously bad, I saw a hilariously bad Beach Boys concert at the Hollywood Ball. This is the Mike Love Beach Boys and they were bad in like a. funny way. Yeah. Yeah. It's like nobody from the original band. It's just Mike Love and like John

Stamos and Mark McGrath. Sorry, John Stamos and Mark McGrath are in the Beach Boys now. That's awesome. Brian Wilson, no longer in the Beach Boys, Mark McGrath in the Beach Boys. And like, they have all these ringers playing who sound good and then like, you know, five times during the show, they let Mike Love just like, taught. up to the front of the stage and he just like, he sounds so, so crazy and it's just he, yeah, he kind of toddles up to the front

and it's just like, you gotta throw your board into your car because you're a teen, you gotta drive your car, we all surf lots because we're cool. It's just like so, and then he'll just like walk back and then Mark McGrath

we'll finish singing the song. That's great. Thank God for McGrath. So funny that John Stamos isn't, is doing it. I love that because I used to watch Full House when he would always have them on because he was friends with them. But I didn't understand that at the time. I was just like, yeah, this is like incredibly cool because I love the beach boy. I mean, pet sounds. I love the Beach Boys when I was younger and older. So I found, yeah, Beach Boys are great.

Yeah, Beach Boys are great. But yeah, John Stamos playing with the band is so fucking funny. It makes me think of that. Right. Remember, what was the song that he had on? Cocoa. No, no, no. He had this song like, everything I do. do and it was like he was playing with Jesse and the Rippers yes he and the Rippers and I believe that the beach boys were like on that track possibly I could be wrong but this guy says got has a picture of toy guns and he says toy guns this is from our slash nostalgia one of our one of my hans uh toy guns that looked realistic spending a whole day in woods playing war and posted some pictures of toy guns that look realistic yeah first guy replies and no one

even considered killing anyone. Funny how that were. Yeah, there wasn't any actual, there was no killing at all in that time. We did point them at cops in the dark and some of us did get shot. Yeah, I mean, I'd love the idea that no one ever considered killing someone with a gun in the 1970s. Funny how that were. I think, and I think that the insinuation is, if we had toy guns, there would be no killing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if there was really realistic toy guns, then there would be no killing. It's because the guys killing people have real guns instead of toys. If they had the fucking toys.

Right. Yeah, that's a big thing, I think, is that it tends to be teenagers who are like, well, if I can't find a toy gun, then I guess I'll go and use a real gun. I think that is a lot of young gun. Yeah, it's like how you give methadone to a heroin addict. Exactly. Yeah. It kind of tapers them off of guns.

Yeah. Go to the toy gun clinic. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, okay, I don't want to kill my mom anymore. Okay, good, okay. All right, okay. This guy goes... I actually stumbled on an old realistic toy gun replica

while I was scrolling through Alibaba one night. Strange thing to do at night, but what are you going to do? He's probably just bored and didn't want to go social media. It reminded me of how we used to tape flashlights to the barrels and pretend it was high-tech gear. It's crazy that our whole. day could vanish out in the woods like that with no phones and no worries nowadays you probably

get a lecture for even own a one that looks that real different times though man yeah you would i think that that might be one of i listen i don't know for sure i'm not like super well informed on it but i think that might have been a good decision to get rid of the very realistic looking toy guns right that's that that is good yeah and like the same as like putting the orange thing on the airsoft guns that look really real So you can tell that they're not real. I don't think you want to have a toy gun that looks really real. And yeah. This guy goes, those were great times, all replaced by iPhones and iPads.

Yeah. Well, now, yeah, you hold up, you get a gun app and then it like turns your screen into it looks like a barrel. And then you hold it up and you do your bang, bang, bang. Oh, and then there's that app where you tip it it makes it look like you're drinking a beer. Oh, hell yeah. There's an app for everything. two phones like one of them drinking the beer and one of them. Yes.

I have a beer phone and a gun phone. Oh, that's my beer phone. Yeah. No, I don't catch that one. And you have a phone obviously to actually take calls with that stuff like. Yeah, yeah. This guy goes, we'd go out to the forest preserves and play war as kids. We made our own gilly suits out of old military blankets and random shrubbery.

Also spent some time at the Marine base right near another spot. We'd go build war forts at. They got a kick out of us. and would take us for rides in the military vehicles through fields. Probably can't get away with that these days. Fun times for sure. Hmm. Can't get away with having the troops drive you around in a Jeep, I guess.

Like strangers driving you around in a Jeep is like, you know, we're too woke for that now. And also just like, I don't know. Yeah, I guess you could, I would not put on a gilly suit and you take a fake gun to a Marine base. myself. I don't think I would either. It doesn't seem good. This guy goes, that Oozimatic tech nine was nowhere to be found after Columbine. Oh, yeah. These guys are Maddie Columbine because they can't get realistic replica guns anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and then this guy goes, toy guns used to be a core part of the American boys identity. Shame our society decayed to the point where it no longer became safe. So I actually don't know.

what side this guy's on. I'm not sure. He could be masculinity is dead. But he could also be like things have gotten so fucked up that kid carrying a gun is unsafe because somebody else shoot and kill him.

Yeah. So he wasn't very clear. Maybe I should have looked up his other post. Sometimes you can get an idea of someone if you look at their other replies. Yeah. Right. Is he also,

is he also tweeting at porn stars that they're sluts. Well, they all are doing that. Everybody on Reddit. It's crazy how every username on Reddit you click comes up with a sign that says it's NSFW. And I mean, it's every single one. When I'm clicking through, when I see somebody say something stupid and I was like,

I got to see the other stupid things this guy's saying all day, you know? Here's a picture of the toy section in a grocery store. and this guy felt this was really important. I can't really nice pegs. Look at the pegs. Yeah, Pegs are fully stocked up. I can see there's Uno cards there.

There's some hot wheels. Yeah, it's not like impressive or anything like that. And it's kind of, they had them when I was growing up. I mean, I think they still have them to this day because I did have a post from a guy that was saying he found some rare hot wheels at a croaker. Yeah, they have, that's where they have a lot of. of Hot Wheels at the Save On Foods, the one where you had a difficult time with the bathroom, Brian.

And it, they have, they have them all up the eye. There's maybe, there's a little section, like a little section with toys and stuff, but then they also have them on the end caps and stuff and all like, there's a bunch of pegs all the way down. And that's where we would, I would get those for my nephew. You know, I'd go grocery shopping and I'd grab a couple for my nephew there often. So I think it definitely still exists. And it depends on what you said to, like Walmart. Walmart is a grocery store.

store, you know, as well as everything else. And Walmart, the one around here has the best. There's not really toy stores. There's a thing called Toys R Us that was, yeah, I'm not sure. But the Toys R Us got like went out of business. That was the big toy store. We're bringing back Toys R Us. Then the guns are going to be so realistic.

That one, that totally went under. No orange guns. No green guns. I've noticed. I've noticed that. there's not that many toy stores around. I have noticed that. But they have like the Walmart in Queensboro is a suburb of anchor

has the most insane toy section. Like it's like a toy. The store is so big that their toy section is its own toy store. It has everything you could ever imagine in there. Yeah. There's an element of these guys where it's like, well, yeah, those were the days.

And I'm like, you can still buy toys. You know, it's like, we stores still have toy aisles. Like we encountered a lot on nostalgia guys where it's just like you can't do that you're not going to see this anymore and it's something that you literally see every single day no matter what it's like I don't know I think I could probably get a root beer in a couple of minutes if I needed last night at the white caps game I had myself a root beer there Brian I did talk to the players he loves talking to the players I'm on the field my seats are on the field and so I've been there now and I know he talks to the players I did talk to the players last night I

Thomas Mueller legendary player German guy Munich and Germany one of the greatest He now plays for the White Caps and he was on the bench and I said to him, you know, hey, we might need you tonight, Thomas. And he said, hey, maybe. Cool. Yeah, what a cool interaction. That's awesome. Oh, man, I really, Brian.

Brian, yeah, he's probably going to go and tell his life. Like, there was this really cool, cool guy at the game who was like, he seemed to, he seemed to notice that we hadn't scored yet and that they might need me out there. And that gave me a lot of encouragement. I think he's from a podcast. I think he has a podcast. Yeah, he's a podcaster, honey. You should tell him about the show.

I should tell people about that I did, I did do this. There's a, there's a listener named Jake. I posted a video of Mueller on Instagram, you know, warming up right in front of me. And then somebody did Jake, listener Jake said, Kate, say hi for me. And I did. I said, hey, Jake says hi, you know, but he did not, he didn't respond to that. He was sort of locked in at that point. Well, this guy replies and goes, I missed that too.

and then another guy replies and goes, I do too, but kids don't play with toys anymore. Parents can just download a crummy free app that kids will never remember once they get old and look back. That's what the kids want, though. I think 90s kids were the last to have a real childhood. Oh, yeah, last a drink from the hose, that's for sure. But I am just constantly surrounded by toys.

I know. And I guess I have a very young kid, but then again, my nephew, they love playing with toys. It's really what they do most of their time. So I'm not sure. Maybe they mean older kids, like 10? I think they just see like teenagers on their phones and stuff like that.

But teenagers didn't play with toys back then either. They weren't on their phones. They were doing other stuff. They were going to a bush party or whatever and like drinking and smoking weed. The band bus? What's a bush party? We don't know what a bush party is. I mean, I know the band Bush.

You go there and listen to everything's in? Yeah, in Vancouver. In Canada, it's called the Bush X party. Thank you. Bush had to change their name in Canada because it was another band named Bush that had the trademark for it. So all of a sudden. Bush X? Bush X is what they were. With a little X though. John Colin showed it to me. It's Bush X, but it looks like Bush Exponent X. Like it's Bush and then a little X up by the age. They clearly were trying to do the little, like they didn't want to really, you know, they're like, we're Bush. So they like did the smallest little. thing that they could that doesn't even really seem like it's something else you know chris do you like stick up for the canadian bush or you like oh the canadian bush that was the real bush i'll be honest with you um i'm more of a landing strip guy just kidding i i that's what i'm talking about this episode didn't have none of that yet yeah we haven't done we haven't been horny at all we haven't been horny at all this episode no i i i was unaware they're such a i never heard their music or anything i was a huge

fan of Bush X. Like I love listening that. And nobody knew, but that was the funny part about it. Like they were such a not well-known band. Like they had no airplay at all. So no one knew who they were even in Canada. And then they had a press conference in Canada where they had a thing behind them that said Bush X and they ripped the X off. And we're like, we're just Bush now. I watched it. John showed it to me. So that was when Bush was allowed to be Bush again? Yeah. I didn't even know. I didn't know that they were allowed to be Bush again. I remember when they went from Bush to Bush X. I mean, there's so many great, when you talk about great rock and roll moments, right?

It's Dylan goes electric. It's Jimmy Hendrix at Woodstock. And when Bush X ripped off the X so they could be Bush in Canada. Yeah, it's very similar to the Bush, you know, out on the air, the, what's the, when George Bush mission accomplished. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very similar to that moment. Yeah. huge historical moment. Another really great rock and roll moment was when Metallica released their

whiskey and they did like a whole web series about whiskey. That Metallica's whiskey, which is you think like, well, why is it Metallica's whiskey? Oh, it's just any old whiskey. No, that's not true. They played Metallica songs at in the, to the like pointed towards the barrels of whiskey. And that's true. That's the selling point. It shakes things around a little bit. It gives you the Metallica essence. Yeah. Back in the 80s, a set of Jackson some marbles was a full afternoon of fun for my sister and I.

Yeah, I mean, listen, there is something to be said for a simpler existence and things like that. But a lot of the stories they tell it's like, it sounds like that was really boring. And it would have been more fun if you had like other stuff to play with. This guy goes, they don't play with toys. they're not allowed to play outside they're not allowed to explore and people wonder why the youth are so stressed out miserable

oh and now they don't even talk to each other face to face anymore well that is a problem that is like a thing I think that kids aren't spending as much time interacting but again check out Metro Town Mall

during summer break and you're going to see a whole lot of teens that are just hanging out with each other I mean I see it a lot I was just downtown at the White Cups game. But they're not playing jacks. They should be playing jacks. They should be.

Kids don't even know what Tuzies are anymore. If you ask a kid what a Tuzi is and they're like, is that a Fortnite? I mean. Yeah. Marbles? Yeah, Marbles. What? You mean like you're trying to say Marvel, right?

Like the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This guy goes, this is a- Marble versus Capcom. This is on Quora. the questions asked Why do groan men collect toys? Uh-oh. Oh boy.

Jackson says, why not? No, I knew these are going to be the most defensive answers you've ever heard on Quora. Jackson's a truck driver, I got to tell you. Nothing wrong doing that. I collect my childhood memories toys. Holds back a lot of fun memories. Sometimes I like to look at them ever so often. Since I'm out on the road most of the time,

I have a special box that holds them in my truck. Well, this is like your dude with his bag of silver shavings. Yeah. They need to be in the truck at all times. I mean, I just, yeah, the idea of, that's what the toys are, though, mostly, right? Because they keep them in the boxes a lot of the time. So they're not playing with them.

Even if they were, what are you going to do? It is mostly just to look at them, you know, which is like such a fascinating thing to me that you just want to look at a thing that reminds you of. your childhood or whatever. Well, that's what I find interesting about this guy is, like, when I'm out on the road in my truck, I have a special box that holds them. Like, so he has, like, a toy box in his truck and he plays, maybe trucks even. Maybe he plays trucks in his truck.

That's the dream, right? Listen, that's, yeah, that's, little kids love doing that, just driving, like, you know, hearing, oh, there's some trucks that at my mom's place that are like, they, it's like a garbage truck, but you press a button and it does, like, like, you. the beep, be backing up thing. That's pretty fucking cool, man. Guy, guy has to do his mandatory eight hours of sleep. Like, he's hit the point where he has to do mandatory eight hours.

And he stops and he just gets his trucks out. It's like, I drifted off the road and hit a minivan because he was too tired from playing with trucks all night. I didn't get any sleep. I was playing with my toys all night. I think it's weird. I'll say this. I think it's weird for a truck driver to have a toy box in his truck that he plays with.

That's all. It's a little weird. It's a little weird. He doesn't even say he plays with him. He just says he likes to look at them, which is also weird. But yeah, a lot of these guys, they don't play with, they, most of them don't. They just look at the toys and remember when they did play with them. This guy goes, because it's a hobby, because it's their money, because they want to, because they're collectibles, because it makes them happy.

You don't need more reasons. Why does a parent buy toys for their child? Because it makes their child happy, right? To play with the children can play with them. That's the big difference, I think, here. Again, it's like, why we'll buy Hot Wheels or Monster Trucks? He loves the Hot Wheels Monster Trucks, my nephew, you know? He'll, like, drive them on a track.

Like, my son, Charlie will, like, bang trucks together, you know? Like, bam, bam, bram. Like, that's why you buy them for it. That's called playing trucks. That's called playing trucks. Yeah, he loves playing trucks. But yeah, the idea that it's like, well, why would you buy them for children? Because they are toys meant for children.

That's the reason why. The way they're saying this, I think, is why does a parent buy toys for their child? Because it makes their child happy, right? As if to say, I buy the toys for me. I'm like a child. Yeah. The toys make me very happy just like a child. Yeah.

I like the argument, too, of it's my money. Yeah. And he goes, Sorry, I'm not spending it on briefcases. Yeah, no shit. You probably have like 11 briefcases at home and not a single toy. Yeah. It does, it,

again, I mean, that's one of the most, that's so, it's so defensive. It's so clearly something that these guys, um, have trouble with inside their own mind sometimes too, right?

Where they're just like, God, I'm fucking 46 years old and I'm playing with toys. Like, they're little children's toys that I, I'm like, look at, I'm buying all these things. Like, they're very, they're already defensive. So anytime somebody says something like this, they're just backs get up so high.

I would say this. In the early pandemic, I was very broke, like, at the time, and I couldn't do Legos because they're insanely expensive. So, uh, I was like, I'm going to buy a bunch of model cars. Hmm. And I'm going to. Cheaper? Yes.

Buy a lot. That's actually so fucked up. The model, these model cars. these really realistic model cars are less expensive than Legos. Yeah, but you have to buy supplies too. You got to like paint, you got to get glue. And I bought them and I sat down with them one time and I said, the one I got is from one of my favorite movies ever, Smoky and a Bandit.

Back when they used to do real car chases, eh? Back when they, yep. Yeah, before it was all CGI. Yep. Brian's big. Brian's a big. he hates these CGI car chase I do but anyway

I bought him I was like this is too hard so like I have a sort of respect for somebody who's like doing this thing that's kind of artistic he gets to paint the car he gets to paint the parts he gets to glue it together that's like a skill or like Warhammer where most of Warhammer is just painting

a little guys yeah they do a really good job totally there's like an artistic element of it more it's just like, I want to make my guys look as cool as possible and I'm going to like have a part in that. I'm going to like use my expression. Like I'm going to express myself artistically where it's just buying something doesn't have that at all.

A he man like a new I went and bought a new he man is a totally different fucking thing. Yeah. Because then you do you play with it obviously. And then you can't get mad when somebody is like, it's kind of weird that you play with he man. You know? Like you're 55 years old.

I did a little bit of hanging out on R slash predator recently, the subreddit dedicated to the alien, the predator. Oh, good. Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah, on R slash predator, who hangs out there, the U.S. president? We don't, we don't do that, no, we don't do that kind of political stuff. Oh, you don't? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Edit that out.

It's okay. I'm sorry. We don't want to lose any listeners. You don't want to lose 50% of your listeners. Yeah, we have a huge conservative base of listeners. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, we don't want them to know that we're sort of lefty wokesters or whatever. Well, I mean, one thing they know is that I'm a prominent leftist.

Have one for years. But I'm doing the other thing where I'm like, hmm, maybe I'm not. Oh, okay. That's gotten us a lot of listeners. A lot of listeners. You guys live shows in Austin sell out really fast. Oh, you kidding. Where comedy is legal.

The comedy mothership, my dream. That's my bucket list to go to the comedy mothership. And interesting enough, my bucket list is to go to the comedy mothership and get pulled out of the bucket on Kiltoni. It's my Kiltoni bucket list. What was you? Oh, an R slash predator. So, okay. So there's a, there's a lot of predator toy guys.

But these guys, they make little scenes with the predator, like in diorama shoeboxes. And a lot of times he is like hunting other characters. So it'll be like a couple of navi out there. And then they'll make it so the predator is like coming out from behind a bush. So there's an artistic element to that. Like they're doing, you know, kind of little movie scenes they would like to see. Or stop motion. A lot of them do stop motion animation and stuff like that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is a thing with action figures. for sure. But yeah, and they pose them too. They'll just pose them like in like a cool pose or whatever. But yeah, I do want to say. Doing a whole diorama is pretty cool. I do want to say that a lot of the collections I saw are very not that. You know what I mean? It's like a case just stuffed with action figures and in big tubs of action figures. And you know what I mean? Like it's not. Now, when you see that, it's like it becomes it becomes clear that it's like somebody who is, yeah, obsessed

with collecting things and finding new things. And it's like once they get a hold of them, it doesn't really matter what happens after that. It's the actual thing of just finding them and getting a hold of them and being able to get them. So this is also from Quora. And the question is, is adult toy collecting considered shameful? Why do grow men collect toys?

Uh-oh. That's kind of a mean way to put it. I will agree with that. I love just posing it as a question. Is it considered like one of the biggest fucking loser things in the whole world at all? me absolute fucking losers do. I'm just asking. Is it true that everyone who's ever bought a he man has never

come to before? Well, this guy goes, shameful. I'm 70. And I have four collectible Marilyn Monroe Mattel Barbie, several vinyl. Oh my God. This guy replies to porn stars online. 100%.

Several vinyl records and DVDs that are rare and have gone up in value. I'll try not to be a. I'm ashamed when I enjoy the additional cash when I sell them. Hell yeah, bro. Brother, you're 70. You ain't selling a fucking money. What do you mean? That's his retirement plan.

His retirement plan. He's like, yeah, he's like, he's doing some planning ahead. He's taking a little bit of time out of his regular day, which is posting photos of how long his tongue is to a porn star accounts. And he's thinking about his future. Yeah. Oh, man. Barry me with my four Maryland. Am I right?

shove my Maryland in the coffin with me so we can go to heaven together. Oh, I wonder, you know one of those Maryland's got the dress flying up. Oh, fucking yes. That's when they left stuff to the imagination, right? It was sexier when you left stuff to the imagination, not like all these porn stars, who I call it sluts. And love looking at.

And love looking at it. Who I'm absolutely obsessed with and I miss. regularly. This person assumes that the person asking the question is a woman, of course. So they go, is collecting shoes or handbags or Lulu Lemon or teddy bears

or cushions considered shameful? Why do grown women collect garbage? Now, number one. Those are things that you wear. And the teddy bear one is just a weird addition to that list of this. Cushions, too? Oh, I think throw pillows.

Throw pillows, I think, is what they mean. You know, they love to put throw pillows on the bed and stuff like that. But again, that's to like create an aesthetic for your home. Uh, it's like a decorating thing. Lulu Lemon. It's functional too. You could lay on those or, you know, put them on the couch or lean on them if you want to sit up a little more. And Lulu Lemon is like, hey, I'm guilty. I buy all kind of Lulu Lemon stuff. I got the ABC joggers. He likes the guys politics. Well, he doesn't, nothing to do with the company anymore. Is the Lulu Lemon guy out scumbag? Chip. Chip. Chip something is his name. He's very hated in Vancouver. Everybody hates him so much. But yeah, I would say that I

collect Lulu Lemon and that I buy the clothes to wear. Yeah. Well, I'm reading the list of things, and I do think Teddy Bears is strange because it's like shoes, handbags, Lulu Lemon, cushions, and then Teddy Bears. Yeah. Are women known to collect teddy bears? I don't think so Maybe they are maybe who knows I think maybe he knows somebody who does He might know a woman who does Like older ladies have a teddy bear collection

Or you know angels or dolphins or whatever like they're into Yeah All right here we go to some reviews I looked up the best Toy Store in America And it's strangely enough Kokomo toys and collectibles in Kokomo Indiana

Oh okay That's no where was that Where was the vote? I never even got to vote on that. So I'm just wondering who decided that. It's America. Yeah, I know. You're not a lot to vote in our stuff.

Yeah, that's true. But I just, I wonder if like where did, where is that decided? Is it? Because a lot of businesses will call themselves the greatest or whatever. Oh, trust me.

I told you about a couple of things I bought recently. I looked up best and got it and it. And it wasn't the best. So your keyboard, your keyboard and mouse. My keyboard and mouse are good, but yeah, I did look up best keyboard and mouse, and I bought them in there. They look fucked up. They look fucking stupid.

They look fucking cool as hell. This, Jim says, one star. This starts out the best way all bad reviews do. I've both sold to and purchased from Kokomo toys for years. I went this previous Saturday and was planning on purchasing around $500 worth of items. Yeah, it's always, it's always, yeah, you know that he's got some complaints about things and wants them to know that like, I'm an A1 customer. I spend a lot of money here and you guys are losing out on a lot of business.

I was about to buy so many items. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what they always do. Typically, I love your items, but. Again, it's like trying to sound casual or like, I don't know. I guess I came in and bought some items or whatever. Can't name one item because he's like bad at improv like I am. You know what I mean?

It's like, name one item. A red item. Like, let's say there was a worker there who was working at the store that this guy went into. Let's think of a name for him. A worker. Jeffrey? Hey, not bad. That's one of Brian's best name improvs that he's ever been.

Oftentimes will not be able to come up with the name. I am bad at coming up with names. Jeffrey is a good. I've seen a lot of guys named Jeffrey. Well, Jeffrey, I will say that it's possible that we're doing a total. Toy Guys episode and Jeffrey the giraffe from Toys R Us might have gotten into my mind. Oh, Brian, do you think he, do you think he actually works that when you imagine Toys R Us, do you think Jeffrey Giraff is working there and checking you out?

That would be so fucking cool. I thought that you said Jeffrey because of the bad guy, Jeffrey Epstein. Wait, oh, he's bad. He's bad. Jeffrey Epstein. I'm hearing some stuff that maybe it's not even that big of a deal from a guy in no name Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah, Joe Rogan.

has been coming out a lot lately, um, excusing Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, he's, he's not, I don't know if it's pro. It's definitely like,

who gives a shit? It might have something to do with the fact that, um, numerous guests that he's had on his show and that he has personal relationships with are in the Epstein files quite heavily. Uh, but who knows? You know,

I don't know that. I think it's like some absurd number like six of the last 12. Yeah, a lot of them. I mean, Peter Thiel as well, he's just like he's seen, you know,

He won't let people talk shit about Peter Thiel. It's very strange. It's almost, you know, it feels almost like Rogan has been compromised, but I don't want to say that about him because I'm a huge fan of his, like, I found out he does a podcast. Found out he has a podcast recently and that he was doing some acting work as well, but I'm a big fan of his stand-up comedy. I just know him as one of the best in the country at stand-up. I'm just a big news radio guy.

I just love news radio. Yeah. I went to the back of the store and saw the other. owner and asked to please see the Migo case. She asked her employee to assist me. We walked up to the front and he opened it and I leaned down to look at the figures as I have many times previously in the past. And he stuck his hand out and hit my hand. I looked at him. Oh, and I, and I. Holy shit. That must have been scary for him. You looked at him. That's assault. I mean, if you hit your hand out, I would say, I hope that the police end up getting involved by the end of this story.

They don't, but he goes, I looked at him and stated, are you serious? He stated, yes, you cannot touch the merchandise. I'm a 50-year-old man, and I've dealt with high-grade vintage collectibles for years. To be treated like that is absolutely unacceptable. He's like, you don't know me by my reputation as the guy that's dealt with high-end collectibles for years? I'm the guy who's waiting outside of the store for you to pull up the big, like, uh, screen or whatever and unlock. I'm there like 35 minutes early. I'm and for that to happen. I'm faster than all the other men. I'm the fastest one. I'm the fastest. I'm the fastest. I'm the fastest to collect the items. I mean, that's crazy. For that to happen to a 50 year old man,

though, I like that he gave his age as well, you know. It's funny. It adds funniness to a 50 year old man getting his hand slap before he could touch a toy. He's going to reach in and got a no. Smacked his hand away. No, no, no. To be treated like that is absolutely unacceptable. I just walked out. I would strongly recommend to the owners that they speak with their employees and advise

them how to deal with public interactions as this will cause them a great deal of money in the future. I don't think so. Well, he's not going to spend money now. Yeah, but I, you know what, Brian? I got a sneaking suspicion and then he'll be right back there buying toys again with something that he wants is only available. This guy's going to come back to the store and he's going to have like a big performative bandage on his hand.

Yeah. Like, ooh, you hit me last time. It's been this many days thing. Right. He's like, I'm married to $200. Yeah. That's impressive. Okay.

And by the way, let me just say, people drive from other states to go to this toy store. It does not matter if this guy never goes in there again. Yeah, definitely. Their stuff is like, if it's really in demand like that, somebody else will just buy it. But again, all of these guys who are just like, I'm not going to go back here ever again. They're just lying because they have this compulsion to buy these toys and that will override everything. If they have to go there to get the toy, then they will go there 100%. Well, I think they also, part of the, part of the motivation behind. leaving the bad review is probably so you get treated better when you go back, you know?

Yeah. Oh, sorry, sir. Let me show you our items. I think they want to be like, apologize to. And I think they want to, you know. Here, come on over here. Come on over here, sir. I'll kiss your little boo-boo on your hand.

I apologize. Let me give you a boo-boo kiss. I am the manager here and I would like to kiss you on your hand to make things better. I'm sorry. I heard that one of my employees gave you a boo-boo. And I would like to kiss it better for you. He's been fired. He's been fired.

Yeah, he's been fired and he was, you know, his family will not be having any toys this Christmas. He goes, I will not be purchasing anything from Kokomo toys ever again and will tell everyone that I know about how the customers are treated. Horrible customers. So you're going to tell people about somebody's slapping your hand when you're trying to grab toys at a toy store. I don't know if you want to be telling that story to be. people. And it's like, what was this guy doing? Like, what was, because I, I don't think this kid just slapped him for no re. Like, this guy was being a weird asshole and he's just not reporting. Yeah, 100%. 100% he was, he was acting in a way that was like he probably seemed like he was

going to grab it or something like that or he was just acting very strangely. I have to agree. This guy goes one star. If you take anything from my review, I ask you to be smart consumers. If you want to buy something from this store, compare their prices of the same item being sold online. That's one. Two, if you want to sell something to them, look at how much they're selling your item for on the floor. If on the floor, they're selling your item for $300 on the floor, don't take less than $150 if they offer less like $5 like they did for an item they will sell for $300. You're being ripped off. The review of my items were grossly over exaggerated.

Overview. There were six bins of toys close to 190 items. Kokomo toys and collectibles stated most of my toys were broken, gotten from Goodwill or not quality toys. One, out of the 190 items, there were three Goodwill stickers. They made it seem like almost all my items were from Goodwill. Two, two of the three items that were goodwill stickers were selling on eBay for about $70 each. Three, they made it seem like most of my items were broken. Out of a 190 items, only there were only five broken items four I had 61 action figures this store was selling an unbox action figures up to 300 or 500 dollars each I had a bunch in boxes are mint condition the action figure almost all were used in perfect condition bunch in original packaging even a

Darth mall action figure in the perfect boxing very few boxes were in back to I'm supposed to get like really excited what a mall and In box? God, I'll tell you what, though. Double lightsaber? Something I've noticed is when I'm walking around to Darth mall is all these kids on their goddamn phones like a zombie. This guy is like, he's just explaining what it's always like.

This is for anything, man. When you go to like a store and you're selling your stuff, they're going to try to get a good deal for it so they can make profit. They are a business. That's what they're trying to do. So this is like a very common. thing. I remember, I think like a, uh, one time I went to like a consignment store with a bunch of my clothes. Now I just give them away because it's not worth the, you know. Same here. Yeah, it's not worth it.

But I had some stuff that was like pretty nice, pretty nice clothes, like pretty, you know, not like Brian. I had like, I didn't have any. What the fuck you wear the same clothes I do? No, I don't have a $400 hoodie. I don't have a $400 hoodie. But why only have two of those? I had a, I had a $250 hoodie or whatever. I had some nice Stucy stuff Brian's wearing Stucy right now. Wait, what's a $400 hoodie? Oh, it's a famous hoodie on the show that he, that he bought. It's, it's pretty nice. He wore it at the live show.

It's what's the brand? No, don't take the brand. Yeah, we don't need to get plugged. It's Samuel Zellig. I don't think anybody's going to go buy the expensive hoodie. It's a, yeah, don't go buy it. We're not, we're not endorsing it at all. But the- I am, it's a wonderful hoodie.

It's very warm. I remember taking all the stuff into this consignment store, and it's like, we're gonna give you like $60 for all of this stuff like that's just what those places do you know and you can haggle a little bit maybe with them or whatever but this is like such a common experience he's acting like this is like a fucked up thing that they're doing at this store and it sounds like he had broken shit that still had the goodwill price tag on it yeah what the fuck man yeah you just only a couple still had the goodwill price tag it's like why didn't you take that off first of all if you're trying to sell stuff and get a good price don't make it obvious that it's from goodwill. And I bet it sounds like a lot of his shit was broken. Yeah, it's 150 items in a tub. Yeah. And the idea that he's saying like, they're selling some action figures for $300.

And meanwhile, they're offering, well, because some action figures are worth more than others. You can't just say like a blanket thing of like, hey, well, I got action figures and you're selling those action figures for this amount. I should get that amount for them. Like, that's not how anything works. Right. You're selling a rare action figure for $300. I have a street shark covered in grape juice. Why aren't you giving me the same amount?

This is the best supposedly, I don't know for sure, the best toy store in Canada. It's called Toy Traders. And it's in Langley Bypass, Langley, BC, Canada. I've never heard of it before. Langley's like a suburb of Vancouver that I've been to, definitely. But it's like an hour or so outside of Vancouver. And I'm not a toy guy, but I've never heard of this place. He's a very sad man.

This guy, it's, the sadness is dripping off this. One star, this place used to care about the customer, but ever since moving up to the bigger location, that care that used to be there is taking a backseat to the dollar sign. I understand it's a business,

but there's something to be said about being committed to making your customer feel like they're valued. Don't bother. This is always a funny, you know, like they, they just, they want to be treated really nice, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And I love the idea of this talking about a toy store like, oh, it's gone so fucking commercial. And again, I used to, I knew it when it was like in its smaller location and it was about the toys. And now it's gone to this big one and it's about the money. So corporate now. Yeah. I mean, listen, if they managed to move to a bigger location, it was probably about the money before because they probably made quite a bit of money to be able to do that. I don't know.

Well, and it's like who works at these places? It's like a 16 year old making minimum wage. These guys just want to be like, hello, sir, come right in. You know, they just want like weird teenagers to dote on them. It's like, no, this kid's fucking making eight bucks an hour. It's a retail store. Yeah. Yeah, like it's a retail store.

It's like, yeah, you, you do, if you never worked in retail, like the idea, you can be pleasant or whatever, but like, sure. The idea of treating them, they want to, they want to be the special boy. They want to be the special boy. And yeah, it's the guys who want to be like greeted and then, and then. and then said goodbye to as they're leaving. We just, we just encountered someone like that. The hooters guy who was mad that the waitress didn't say goodbye to him.

Didn't say goodbye. Exactly. Yeah. That it was like, yeah, you have to, you have to say hi when I come in and buy when I leave. Otherwise,

you aren't giving me good service. Just because I told you to smile nine times while I was eating. I think one of the more, another one of our famous ones is a knife guys. This guy goes to like the world's biggest or the country's biggest. or the country's biggest knife store. And he was like, I stood around for two and a half hours, not one person asked to help me. Yeah.

So you could go ask a person to help you. You're just playing some weird game. Yeah. Like, oh, I guess it's now been two hours. I'm just going to hang around with my arms crossed in the knife store. I don't know. Maybe you look like a fucking psycho. Yeah.

And they're afraid of you. It's the type of people who are constantly using the term. or the saying the customer is always right, thank you. Like they love to say that. He goes, don't bother trading in with them as they'll rip you off. There's low ball and they operate three levels below that. Over the recent years, I felt less like a valued customer and at times have been talked to in a disrespectful way by management and the owner. The blinders of success and greed have distorted treating customers with value and respect.

I will no longer give them my business. success and greed. The toy store. A locally owned toy store, by the way. It's like Toys R Us or anything like there's just some guy's toy store. He goes, the blinders success and greed have distorted. I'm sick of these fat cats in their one location toy stores. Yeah, I want to buy a monopoly game.

I don't want to talk to the Monopoly man. Thank you very much. He goes, I will no longer give them my business. nor recommend this place to my friends or family. So, mm-hmm. Here's the Columbus one I got. I got two more.

Columbus, big fun. Columbus is right by my house. It's, it is cool, man. It's not a bad story. Oh, you go there by Lego.

Well, I don't go there by Legos. After they, after they slapped your hand, you're not. Yeah, they did. They slapped.

And so I do go there, though. I brought my, I bought my older brother like a cobra commander, uh, toy because when he was little, he always wanted this cobra commander toy. And I was like,

I'll get that. for you or whatever for Christmas. Anyway, and I go in there from time to time. It's a very small place and I have a shitload of toys. This guy gave it one star. And I love this review. The owner held a grudge and had hatred in his heart. It's a toy store.

He was blinded by greed, one of the seven deadly sins. The owner held a grudge and had hatred in his heart towards me for six. months because his employee gave me a $10 discount on a broken toy. So it's $10. He's like the owner had hatred in his heart towards me. Right. For my $10. I'm guessing that what happened was you made a huge scene about it.

And then some, yeah, like young employee was like intimidated by you and you gave you to leave. Wanted you to leave. It gave you the discount. And then the owner or the manager or whatever. found that to be like distasteful and was a little bit angry toward but again i'm guessing he didn't have hate in his heart well i don't know if you hear the rest of us he may have been blinded by greed to be fair you got to you got to allow for greed instead of just hey he goes uh i'll never buyer

recommend this store again the look on the owner's face when he told me off because of a $10 discount was pure hate towards me and he acknowledged it These guys were the nicest guys of the world, man. They weren't in a fucking toy store. He ignored. Even a problem in there, but I guess he said, I hate you. Yeah, he said, like, listen, the reason I'm talking to this way is because I truly hate you. The last thing I want to do because we love doing this.

We love it when somebody does this. And finally, we get a chance to do it because in the toy episode. And there's a G.I. Joe Real American Hero toy commercial compilation on YouTube. and it's a half hour of G.I. Joe commercials that people are watching. And I thought you guys would love this. If a G.I. Joe movie ever had the production value and acting caliber of these commercials, I would actually watch it.

They could make remote control versions of all the vehicles for the combat scenes that use them. Shamelessly green screen and dead giveaway set pieces. It would sell more tickets, finish on less than half the budget of previous efforts, and bring to light a more nuanced and intellectual dimension to the oversaturated attempts we have been offered in this century. Hi, I'm with Paramount. I would like to give you a $10 million budget in Greenlight this film. I love a more nuanced and intellectual dimension

to the oversaturated attempts we have been offered in this century. And he goes, so here we go. Ryan Reynolds as Duke. Oh, this guy has dream casting. Okay, he has like, here's, okay. I hate Ryan Reynolds. I love him. Margot Robbie as Scarlet.

That'd be fun seeing Margo with red hair. That's, I think we can all agree. She's a great actor, so I would, yeah. Terry Cruz is roadblock. Okay, Terry Cruz, yeah. I'm guessing, yeah, I don't know the characters, but does he look like roadblock? Yeah, he does. I mean, he's a big black guy.

He's a big muscular guy, roadblock is. Okay. Yeah. Nicholas Cage is Destro. I mean, it would be so sick to have Nick Cage doing his weird acting in it. Tony Jaws is snake eyes. Okay. Tony Jaws pretty sweet. John Lithgow is Cobra Commander. Okay, so some of these ages aren't really necessarily.

Cobra Commander is an old guy? Should be a frail 80-year-old man, yeah. No, he's a tough guy. He was strong. Oh, but it's stunt casting. so you could have any Lithgow. Well, and also it's voice work because it's it's the toys. Oh, I see. So these people are only doing, this isn't live action.

They're just voices. Okay. And again, all the vehicles in it are remote control cars. We'll just be toys. Okay. So in this, the version of the movie, this guy is pitching, people are doing voices for toys that he would, he himself would move around in a style of a commercial. Yeah, because remember the old commercials where they would have like the thing and they'd be like, G.R. Joe, and a guy was like swing in. That's what he's picturing.

Okay. And this would play in theaters. And this would play in theaters. Yeah, you have to watch it in the theaters, Jordan. It'll be one of those. You need it in surround sound. You need that. Yeah. For sure. I think you guys are missing. A communal experience. Yeah. Sure, sure. I think you guys are missing where he said I would, it would sell more tickets, finish on less than half the budget of previous efforts and bring to light. I agree that it would finish on a lower budget if you were just moving toys around. and filming it through. It would. He's true.

Probably less than half too. I mean, half is generous. But I think that what the issue is you're getting these big, even for voice works, a lot of these actors are going to command a pretty big salary for this. Selina Gomez is the Baroness. This is the most expensive movie ever made that's just toys with some of the most famous people in the world. the voices and finally Rob McElheny is shipwreck

I'm open to other suggestions I don't have a storm shadow or a general That's nice that he's open to compromise I'm open to other suggestions And everyone was like no we don't have any We're not interested in this idea No one's ever gonna make it And this is a really dumb thing you're doing

Comments I don't have a story This guy too is like it has to be this exact cast Or I walk I am not doing the project. I love the idea of him getting the job and just being like, this is going to be awesome. So, and finally, this guy goes, just this is a perfect way to end the toy guys episode because it happens so much in the toy section.

I didn't get enough of these in. I gave my brother my collection at 16, 1994, because I thought I was too old. The only rule was not to take them out of the house. That weekend, he took them to our cousins. house and came back with hardly any of them. Biggest regret ever. I had about 80 Joes and cobras and a lot of vehicles started collecting an 82. SMH.

So, sad story. Oh, my God. That does happen when Charlie will take a toy out somewhere else and then he won't, he'll bring his toys on. He won't bring them home. So that can definitely happen. And it's so frustrating. Do you yell at them for it?

Yeah. Do I yell at my two-year-old son? That's how I would handle it. Yeah, I haven't yet yelled at him. I have not yet yelled at him. My daughter's really good about bringing her. If she leaves with toys, she brings him back every time. I would imagine that's probably true.

She's, yeah, she's again, she's an adult. Very studious. Mm-hmm. If she's an adult, maybe she'd tell us what she wants to go out to dinner for tonight because she's being in pain. But anyway, Jordan. Yes. Do you have anything like the blood?

What do I want to go for? Where do I want to go for dinner tonight? Yeah, where would you, if you could choose anywhere to? You live in Los Angeles? I do, yeah. So you got all kinds of choices. Where's your favorite place to go out for dinner in Los Angeles? In and out?

Guys, it's got to be in and out burger for their famous double doubles fries. Animal style. Yeah. I go to an out burger and there's actually, there's, I don't know if you guys know, but there's a secret menu that I actually order my stuff off of. Yeah. I think Jordan's restaurant is sweet green for sure. Oh, it's got to be, yeah.

I mean, guys, I'm in L.A. I love kale. Yeah. I knew that. You have a lot of it. Like, you're behind you, you have a bunch of bags of it instead. I do. You have so much of bags.

Yes. Some men carry silver shavings around in a bag. But I'm from L.A. baby. It's got to be kale. Got to be kale shavings. Got to be kale shavings. Yeah. And matcha?

I don't know. What do people think L.A. people like? Garlic. Garlic. Yeah, sure. We love garlic. That was an improv. Right there. Thank you for going with it. That's the principle of improv. Yes, and. So if you say people in L.A. are always eating garlic, I say yes. Even though you know it's really one of the worst offerings that you could ever, that you'll ever hear.

And I mean, the idea that it's unique to Los Angeles to eat garlic is a little bit weird. Right. It's a universal thing that is used in basically all cooking. Yeah, around the world. Every cuisine. I'm like, yeah, at L.A. baby. We got to have our garlic. Do you actually have something to plug, though? I do have something to plug, I'll go ahead and do it.

I'll do two plug buckets, if you don't mind. No problem. Plug bucket one, podcasts. Hey, I do a comedy show called Jordan Jesse Goh. Brian's been on it. We're working on having them again, tune in to that comedy chat show. I do one called Free with Ads. It's a movie chat show with Emily Fleming and Matt Leeb.

You can find those both on Maximumfund.org. And hey, we've been goofing on toy guys. We can all agree that are a little lame, but you know who are cool? Comic book guys. And I got some stuff for them. I'm doing some writing for Marvel comics. Some people call it Marble Comics. I think it's a Canadian thing because there was already a Marvel in Canada.

Yep. I couldn't do Marvel X because they have Xmen. I'm writing a couple of series. One, Predator Bloodshed, that's a Predator series on shelves now. Web of Venom, that is a Venom one shot coming out in April, April 8th. And hey, if you're a collector, I got something for you. The Amazing Spider-Man, Spider-Versity. This is a Spider-Man team-up book.

And if you want signed by me, copies delivered to you in the mail. go to bit.ly slash spidey school and you can get all five issues of spiderversity signed by me delivered to your house guaranteed to increase in value and I will not slap your hand. Fantastic. That's actually very fucking cool that you're writing comic books like, you know, some of the real, proper classic comic books. That's fucking awesome. It's neat. And I, I, you're lucky I didn't put on my big J. Ocerson fingerless gloves. My big J. Looker, same fingerless gloves earlier in the episode of this could have got pretty edgy.

We'll see y'all next week. Goodbye. Bye.