Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 167 - Law Guys with Charles Starr

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Tickets are going fast for the Toronto Live Show on 6/5! https://www.theguysery.com/ We had an actual lawyer, Charles Starr from the No Homework podcast to talk about law guys. Should you take your family to small claims court? What is the lost and found law? We read a fantastic disc golf law case and a guy that stuck it to the phone sex community. There is more Chris at https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow Not Even a Show is back (temporarily) https://www.youtube.com/c/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast, Join us on the Sunday Night Stream every Sunday night at 8:00 EST at twitch.tv/notevenashowand I am on https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Guys, the podcast is about guys. I'm Brian. Chris is here. Chris Locke. We just had him on the podcast. But it's meant to be a play on Matt Lock. I didn't get it. Ben Matlock. He's a famous lawyer. He's actually such a good lawyer. She. Sorry? She. Oh, in the new remake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. But in the one I'm thinking of, the old one, he is such a good lawyer that he actually, he goes above and beyond. He does all of the investigating himself. And he just finds like a different person who did it, which is a surefire way to get your client off as far as I'm concerned. That's fair. We are talking about law guys. So we have Charles Starr on Charles. Hi.

Hey, thanks for having me on. He is a lawyer for real. Now, that's not going to help him in this podcast at all because we're looking at morons. Yeah. Well, you would be amazed. How familiar you get. It'll help us, I think, though, in like really clarifying just how stupid these people. are that we're talking about.

Now, Charles, just a little bit of background. What kind of law do you practice? Well, I mean, I've been doing it for a while. I've done a few things. But right now, we're doing, I am at a plaintiff's firm doing consumer class action. Wow. That's woke. And some antitrust.

That's woke law. Yeah, yeah. I am on the woke side. I work for the people. And I am the bottom of the totem pole there because I've made some choices. So my brother. went my brother went to law school soon as he got out he was like I will never be a fucking lawyer

and then now he's a tech guy yeah I get that I mean I made some weird like I went to law school and I wanted at the time to be an academic and then I did not work very hard my first year and that is really your ticket to academia is you have to do really well in law school and then write a lot, which also is not my thing. I like having, you know, I don't remember. I don't remember whose quote it is, but it's I don't like writing. I like having written, and that is very much my bag.

I could never have the discipline to be an actual writer. So I went the easy way and just did like well-paying, very boring shit for a while. but I instantly wanted to kill myself. Yeah, that was my brother. He, well, he didn't do any law. Like I said, when he was still in law school, I was still in school. And I was like, so first I was like, I'm going to be a college professor. Well, let's be honest.

First, you were like, I'm going to be a guy who works at a jewelry store and jacks off to phone sex by myself in my apartment. And I guess second. Yeah, but that's a very hard major to find unless you go to the right school. I guess second I was also going to be a madman marketing guy. Uh-huh. That was my second. Yeah. Choice of job.

But then near, then I grew up and I'm a sociology guy. And I was like, I'm going to be an academic. And then I started to like, look into that. And I was like, that's a lot of fucking work.

And I talked to a bottle, bottle of mine. I talked to a bottle of mine. I talked to a bottle of mine, Trevor. Just right through a hole in the wall. I talked to a friend of mine and he was like, you do not want to be an academic.

And I said, a PhD. And I said, okay, that sounds good to me. I don't think I want to do that. And then I said to my brother, thinking I'm going to become a lawyer and do free speech law, which I also told my dad that when I was like 17. I was like, I'm going to do free speech because I saw the people versus Larry Flint. I see.

So you were going to defend, you were hoping to be defending people like kill Tony. and stuff like that. He was hoping to meet Pennhouse models. Yes. Hustler, baby. I would, hey, listen, he's a porno.

Gucci own his Pennhouse. Yeah, he was, penhoses was a little bit too vanilla for Bryant's face at the time. That's right. That's right. I'm not seeing anything anatomical. Yeah.

So my brother goes, I want to go to med school through pornography. My brother goes, You do not want to go to law school. It's like the worst. I'm so far in it now. Yeah.

But the only way out is through for him. Yeah. Right. And then when he got out, he was just like, I ain't fucking doing it. He's like, they haze you. Apparently lawyers haze each other, I think. It's not a hazing. Maybe not as much anymore.

That might have been an older thing. Hazing. Well, it's not hazing. Yes. So much as miserable people paying it forward. Yes. You know, so like the mid-level people who are getting shit on by the partners are then real assholes to the new people. And it's like abused people, abused people.

Yeah. So the ideal, you want to become, you want to become a partner then so then no one can abuse you and you can misabuse everybody. That's the ideal situation. That's like when you're watching a movie or something, they're like, I've become partner from now on and we would be like, oh, now he doesn't get picked on by all the other guys. Yeah. That's pretty nice. But yeah, my brother was just like, I don't get.

Hey, he's like me, except for, he's never beat anybody up in his entire fucking life. Okay. So there's a different, different brother, because there's your brother who. My younger brother. Younger brother. Your older brother beat a lot of people up. Oh, yeah. He was good at beating people up.

But I'm tougher than my younger brother by like 10 miles. Wow. That's very cool. Very cool. If me and him were like, so I'll tell you the story. We're in Chicago. And this guy came up. definitely like going to rob us and my brother just walked away and left me with him like you

just took off and i'm like but he that sounds like the one who went to law school yeah yeah and also just kind of sounds like the smart he just left the situation in order to not get wrong the guy was talked to he's trying to get us to go down an alley yeah yeah he's like hey over in that alley they're protesting the police oh and i knew they weren't doing it uh-huh i knew it yeah yeah and Because I knew where I know where everything is. And he's like, starts asking me for money. And I'm like, I don't, I don't know what you want for me. I don't have any fucking money.

He follows me into a place. And then he's like, you know how sometimes a guy I'll be like, can you give me $10 or can you buy me a drink at the place? And then they buy like seven things. Yeah, yeah. I do know. Actually, someone is just talking about this. I think that a good way to stop that is you just go and then you buy the stuff or whatever. That's what I did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I could have, if I did it, I think it would have also been a problem. You know what I mean? But he just walks away. He's gone. Smart. So that's, you know, not like me. You know what I would have, well, I bought his stuff.

But you know what I would have done years ago. Years ago, you would have definitely got your, you would have, you know, got your friends to beat him up for you. Yeah. Let's take a look at some law stuff. Sure. I want to start with this real quick. This isn't really a legal issue, but I think it's important. In light of Chuck Norris's passing,

it has come to light that he was in the middle of a lawsuit against NBC. In the lawsuit, the plaintiff claims that the term law and order are already trademarked by his left and right legs. That fucked me up because I didn't realize it was a judge. joke and I guess I should have but I didn't clock it as a joke I thought you were telling me a real news story about a lawsuit that was happening and you really blindsided me Chuck Norris style with that that's what I do baby yeah I will never stop I mean now I'm like I think every episode I'm just going to be like what's the episode about I'm going to search that word and Chuck Norris and see what I can come up with you know we did the 21 Chuck

joke salute. You can get it on the Patreon. It's the Sunday night stream. And it was touching, you know. You can see it for free to Twitch.tv slash not even a show of the VOD if you don't want to subscribe to the Patreon. Yeah, we did, we did, I guess, a couple weeks ago now. You have to go back a couple weeks. We did the Chuck Norris 21 joke salute. And it was kind of beautiful.

We even played the. Taps. We played the horns. Everything. Okay. Here's this. this is from our slash small claims where I got a lot of this stuff. Yeah, sure.

These people are crazy. I mean, anybody that goes to small claims court is fucking crazy. I don't think that's true. I think there's probably some situations where you have to go to small claims court in order to like recover money that is rightfully yours. I don't think it's inherently crazy, right? No, I agree with that. I mean, the limit is 10 grand in. Yeah, that's a lot of money.

Yeah, that's a lot of money. There's real money there. And like sometimes it's for, you know, like sometimes it ends up in housing court but sometimes it's like your landlord stiffs you on your security deposit and so you got to go to small claims court for a couple grand someone doesn't pay it but I mean the thing about small like not it's not all fucking people's court bullshit it's sometimes normal people who like have a real interest in getting like $8,000 which I do personally I have a big interest in that

getting $8,000 I would love to and but I guess Brian, maybe you're correct. Maybe all the people who are posting in R slash small claims court, they might be crazy. Here's a hypothetical example. Say you're like, say you're like on a podcast and you prepay for the venue. Yeah. And then the guy you're doing the podcast with is like, fuck, I don't know the password. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Now, you guys didn't hear this. This is what happened. We're talking about the live show in Toronto. I am, I said I would like, I am waiting on several thousand dollars from a guy who's not the most reliable and who I could. My business manager. Yeah. You're waiting on my business manager. He's a CEO of a company called Violence Gang LLC and I'm not really sure about it.

I will say this about small claims court, though. What I have learned in prepping this episode is nearly impossible to get your money out of the person anyway. Yeah, I mean, like once you win, you then come to like a point where you're like filing writs and stuff like that to get your money to like. Yeah, you got to garnish wages possibly or stuff like that depending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this guy asked. The sheriff to like attach property.

Yeah. This guy asks, I owe what, I owe $100. What's the worst that can happen? Well, that's probably not much honestly. If you're $100. I mean, what's a, why don't you just pay it? though. Well, he's going to get asked that a few times. Okay. But a lot of these guys, it's a principal with them.

You know what I mean? Of course. It's always like, we'll read a few of like people get in it with their family. Oh, God. And like, like, I won the lottery and my family is now hoping that I will help them in a small way. Or I'll say, well, yeah, and then I moved, I moved away. I moved away into a different country. Is there like, uh, yeah. What's the? I won the lottery. I moved as far away from my family as I could and I changed my name. What are the extradition laws?

When I say I won the lottery, I hit three numbers. That's why I'm in small claims court. That's true. That's true. I was trying to get a piece of my $8,000. Now these people who, but if you know lot of guys, like I know a lot of guys pretty well, I'll tell you, they could win a million dollars and they would, they could be going to small claims court over trying to save $75.

from a close family member. These guys don't want to give any of their money to any of their family. You learned enough about these lottery guys and they're just like, if I win, nobody's ever going to see me again. I'm going somewhere with no extradition. This guy, backstory, a prior client contested a legitimate fee. And I got so frustrated with the entire mediation process, I threw in the towel and agreed to pay $100 back.

This person has hell bent and will likely follow me to my grave for this money. Just pay it or walk away and forget it. Just pay it, I would say, if you agreed to pay it. It's $100. It's $100 that you agreed to pay. You sound like a business kind of guy. It sounds like if you really, I guess he was saying he wanted to stop the whole process of like whatever mediation he was dealing with was just a big fucking headache. But it's like, yeah, once you agree to pay the $100, I think you got to pay it.

I think if you're fighting about $100. I think that if you're in any sort of a legal process about $100. you're crazy. Like that's a crazy thing to do. A hundred percent. And like think about the scenario, right? The mediation process is because the small claims court judge doesn't want to decide most of these things, right? Yeah.

Because it's two non-lawyers yelling at each other and he's got to try to maintain order. Order and so they always, yes, you know, and like small claims courts, they've very small gavels. And so they try to refer everything to mediation. And the mediation is just a municipal employee who's like, come on guys. Well, I mean, I learned on the neighbor's documentary on HBO. Sometimes the mediation person is also the guy who sold one of the people guns. That was in one of the episodes in Florida where the mediator that they were dealing with was also a gun salesman at a gun store. I will tell you, if I found out.

out that my mediator sold my opponent a gun. I would probably become much more amenable to sadly. Yeah. Well, I think possibly though they both did have guns in this situation. Yeah, they were walking around with guns. They both had guns. Yeah. This guy goes, it isn't very difficult to collect.

Now, this sounds like so much because you know, I hate processes all of them. You know what I mean? Like anytime we begin to get into. a process. I'm like, this sucks. I want out. I don't like getting my ID. I don't like getting my passport. I don't like any of that stuff. I don't even like how if I have to mail something. Yeah. That sucks. I don't want to do it. Nowadays, if I have to mail it, I don't think I, I don't know the last time I mailed something. I've mailed stuff. Wow. I thought that to mail a shirt. This guy goes, it isn't very difficult to collect. I used to own a German auto shop.

I had a local Nissan dealer try to tow an Audi they bought on trade in. supply a used motor and when that motor didn't work tried to fuck me on my labor. Problem for them was that I knew the local dealer techs and found out their supplied part was the issue when they towed it to the local Audi dealer. With that knowledge, see, now this is where I would have stopped. That would have been like, okay, you know, you win, you got me. With that knowledge, I went to small claims, jacked up all the labor to what it should have been. I'd initially cut them a deal to get their work and they forgot to send someone to court.

I got them for 5K. the original bill was 2.5k I went to collect and the owner thought he was smooth and wasn't going to pay me. I, as a 28 year old kid, these guys always get very tough. Now, this is my favorite.

I love tough guys. Umpires, sure. Notorious tough guys. I as a 28 year old kid was like, cool. Well, let me tell you how this is about to go down.

Oh, one day you're going to wake. This is like penthouse letters for for psychos. For psychos. Yeah. It is because they can't believe it happened to me. Yeah.

Look, let me tell you how it's about to go down. One day we're going to wake up with 5K less in your bank account and that'll be me. Have a nice day. I got to check a week later in the mail. Wait a second. Why? I don't understand how that worked in any way. He was so afraid of garnishment.

Yeah. That he just paid off this tough 28-year-old who knew, who was savvy enough to work the process. Gotcha. He understood the law. I get, like he's saying like, listen, I'm going to chase you to the ends of the earth. You might as well send me the money. And the guy sent it to him.

I was like, I'm done with this guy, you know. That is a pretty good negotiation technique, I guess, to say like, hey, I'm going to make your life really difficult. I'm going to, like, drag you through. And if you're like, if the person believes that you're willing to do that, then they're going to lose the money in the end. anyways and have to go through all of this hassle, then they might as well pay. So can I tell you something about New York small claims court?

If you file in small claims court and don't show up, they just dismiss your case. Yeah. If you file and the defendant doesn't show up, they'll like recalander it multiple times. Right. Because they're like, oh, people don't read their mail. We don't want to make default too easy. And I don't know if this is still true, but it certainly used to be true. which can be a real pain in the ass

because someone can just like blow it off a couple of times before they actually get defaulted and you have to go down every time. So it really is like it can really be a process. Well, this guy goes $100 is a small price to pay to keep out of court. If you have a written agreement, you can default on it not pay. The client might take the case to small claims court. If they win, they're given a judgment.

You're obliged to pay. But you could still choose not to. The client might go back to the court and get rid of attachment where deputy sheriff or court officer come and sees and sell your property. So pay the $100. Get a receipt and move on. This guy replies and goes, sounds like there is recourse on their end. I understood it's very difficult to collect.

This guy ain't giving up his $100. No. They just not want to give up his $100. Coming and just like taking like a few pots and pans to sell from his house. I'll take that hoodie. Yeah, I'll take that hoodie, Brian. Actually, well, Brian's hoodie collection, honestly, could get seized at some point if he doesn't pay up on this fucking venue fee. Well, there's an old expression, right?

If I owe you $1,000, that's my problem. If I owe you a million dollars, that's your problem. Yeah. Right? Like, but if it's a hundred, just fucking pay the hundred. Pay the fucking $100. But it is funny. it is like in this case

the other guy's problem because the process of collection is just so much for a hundred but I would email the guy every day I mean that's what I thought about I'd be like the the what was it um better off dead the paper boy

the paper boy chasing him death for $2 for a hundred bucks if you're going to be an asshole I'm going to be a bigger ass I mean it does seem like this person is a huge asshole it just seemed so it's like when I was watching neighbors and they would end up at city hall I'd be like what you got you're at

city hall about this now like calm down just a little so here's another one have you tried to take a shirt yeah yeah a lot of them aren't wearing shirt this guy goes have you ever tried to take a uh family member to small claims court oh god that's my fucking nightmare I'm so happy that my family is all just kind of, you know, that that's like such a silly idea to me that that would ever happen. Wait till you hear what happened. It'll fuck blow you away. My sister and I planned a trip to go to a concert. There was two and a half hours away from where we were leaving from.

I prepaid for everything because she was traveling and agreed to pay me back for half of everything. She also agreed to drive my car because I have health conditions and terrible anxiety that make driving very difficult for me and can only drive short distances. She agreed with no hesitation. Come time for the concert, she damaged my car in the parking lot when parking my car. She still owed me for gas and her share of the hotel. She apologized profusely and I offered to pay half the damages

and she only had to pay $250 of the deductible instead of $500. We had a good time at the concert, did some other fun things in the city the next day, and then went home. She kept apologizing on the way home but seemed to avoid the subject of how and when she was going to pay me back. Once we got home, she started acting like nothing happened and that she didn't owe me anything. Not even half of the gas and hotel she never paid for. It's already awkward asking someone to pay you back every time. I tried to bring it up.

She would change the subject or find a reason to get upset at me and block me and avoid it. She then decided to go around slandering me and bashing my name to friends and family, told everyone that I forced her to drive and was distracting her. None of that is true. I mean, you did kind of force her to drive. I agree. Like you did a little bit force her to drive in the sense. He said, hey, if we want to go to this concert, you have to drive because I'm not doing it.

I don't think I, and just I don't know legal terms or anything like that. I'm saying in my terms, I'm not paying you for damage to your car that you made me drive. Yeah. You know what I mean? Listen, it sounds to me like, hey, I don't know. you I have a relationship with my family again where if that happened I would sit down with my brother and I would say hey man do you not have the means to pay me this money like I need it you said that you're going to pay it back to me are you able to pay it back to me if not like can we figure out a way

that you could pay me back like in the future or if you're really not able to then we'll call it a day you know like that's kind of the conversation that I would have and it's like why why do you not cut throat enough. I would sue my dad. I'm with Chris on this one. Like I, though I do, I You haven't met Brian's dad. Okay, well that's there.

My dad inhabits my watch now as every time I do a hard workout it says, moderate. Yeah, his dad told him, his dad told him that like he told him how he was like impressive his workouts where his dad's like, oh, I do that easy. That's nothing.

But you don't, you're not that close with your you're not as close like I'm I'm I strongly dislike him yeah I'm I'm like really close with my family yeah yeah now I I I so I would um but I just it's weird to me it's not it's not tons of money right it's like sounds like it's under a thousand dollars so I think it's kind of like you can say to your sister hey that that really bummed me out that you didn't pay me back I really wish you would pay me back he said that you were going to but I'm not going to make a big deal of it, you know what I mean? And then just like kind of move on and let it go or whatever. Like that's, yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot going on here. Right. Like the idea that like I wouldn't

have phrased it as he made me drive. Right. That already is a really contentious way of putting it. It's like you know your brother has anxiety. You want to do a thing together. Of course you're driving. Yeah. making you drive you're driving because you know how your family is and he's fronting the money for the concert in the hotel and that's also how yeah she's she's pulling a bit of a fast one on him for sure and she should pay back the money it's just the car money no i think she should pay back half of it as well that that seems reasonable but like yeah do you i mean my thing brian is if you crashed your brother's car? Oh, I have. Okay. I'm kidding. I've crashed several cars. Yeah.

So I mean, who hasn't? Who hasn't? So if you crashed your brother's car, wouldn't you personally feel like would your brother need to ask you? No. Would you be like, oh, man, I got you. Yeah, no, I would say, I think it's a thing where it's like, yeah, if you are driving, but if she's, she's putting in that he distracted her, who knows he might have been. Yeah. I know. He might have been. in the parking lot, he would have been like, hey, hey, what do you do? You know, like he might have been like, hey, hey, hey, watch a corner or whatever and like might have had a part in it. But even then, if you are driving the car and you crash it, I agree with you, Charles.

You should just say to your family member, hey, it sounds to me like maybe his sister doesn't have that much money or is like having financial problems or something like that. There is more. Okay. She decided to go around slandering me and bashing my name to friends and family and told everyone that I forced her driving was distract her. None of that's true. She has a history of lying and being greedy.

She's very cheap and doesn't even tip when she goes out to eat. All to get out of paying me back? She then met some poor sucker overseas to marry her and fund her traveling after not even knowing her for a year. My Brita filter is older than their relationship. And now she lives out of the country. Hey, I'm taking the sister side after the Brita filter comment. I don't like this guy. I don't like this guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. also change your fucking bread of filter dude he goes and now you're just drinking right out of the sewer brother i am bad at change and mine too and now she lives out of the country but she's visiting soon and i want to serve her with court documents and take her to small claims court to get my money back that she owes me for the trip and damage has anyone ever taken a family member to small claims court and what was the outcome the answer to that is yes many many people have taken family members to small claims court but i she now lives out of

of the country, you say? Yes. Yeah, I don't think you're coming to visit back at home. I don't think you're getting the money back, my good man. If she was hesitant to pay before and she now lives in an entirely different country, I don't think you're going to be all to get the money from her. Yeah, right. You're now, you're now like trying to get the Hague convention on international service

to hit her in El Salvador. Yeah. I mean, you could, you could win a judgment, but I'm guessing. That money is going to be very difficult to. Yeah. My sister has an interpol red notice for her debt to me in small claims court. I have now decided how to settle this, which is she should hit him with her rental car. That I would, yes.

As soon as she gets that notice, just drive over to his house through the front door. I find this part. This is how you welcome me home? I find this part strange. I forgot to add. I did send her a final demand letter and also send her all documents, receipts, photos, and proof, et cetera. This guy replies, it goes, okay, great.

In that case, you're definitely free to file and server. You can cross the collection bridge when you get to it. Be aware that there are often court costs associated with filing. Nothing super expensive, but worth being aware of. Since it sounds like you're trying to, quote, clear your name with relatives, strange thing to say because you could do that without going to court. That like I said, that's a non-court thing. I believe that that actually might make you seem worse to some of the relatives

if you take your sister to small claims court. It's funny, Chris, because she keeps saying it's funny because in a lot of the comments, I don't know if I have any of those kind of here. She keeps saying like, and my family's all taking her side. Oh, is it? Oh, really? Oh, okay. So now we've got an unreliable.

narrative. Yeah, now it sounds like the O.P. is possibly, like, has a history of some kind of something here. Yeah. So, right. Responding with my own comment, Pyrick victory. He goes, uh, uh, this guy goes, I don't even care about them. No, the O.P. goes, I don't even care about the money. That is so not true. I just want to prove that she's, I just want to prove that she's wrong. because she lied about the whole situation and defamed me to friends and family to get out of accountability. She's known for this and it's done this to others I found out. Sounds to me like what you want to do is sort of not go to small claims court,

but just sort of maybe put on some sort of mock trial at the next family dinner where you have different people playing different roles and things like that and clear your good name. I like that. My daughter actually, my daughter actually for a period of time was working, not working actually she would never do that don't be come on i'm not going to take gwen glen slander on here don't do that to your daughter so i go uh i go

uh glad i i she goes to this place and she tests food right which is when she was like 16 she eats food candy they're like here's some fucking wait a second okay it's like she's like reporting to a van wait a second wait a second here this is this is this is This is very much not a job. I have to agree with you. Her job was to eat candy.

She went to a research company. Okay. Where like a candy company would be like, here's our new candy. This is a dream job. Like a giant blueberry was day. Or here's cheeseburgers. We got these chicken sandwiches. Yeah.

You know, do you like this chicken sandwich? That sort of thing. But one of the other functions of it, and she fucking hated it, was law firms would do mock trials and bring them in as juries to see how good the case was. And she fucking, because you know, you're going there, you eat some candy.

That's a 10 minute situation. You get like 40 bucks. You go in there and you sit there all fucking day. Well, you have to do jury duty without the, you know, like you're doing jury duty basically, which everyone famously hates.

But it's also some of these cases are going to be so boring and poorly put together that they're not even good enough to go to trial with. And so you're going to be, you won't even be seeing particularly good cases. No, the mock trial is usually mostly just framing. Like, I don't think they go through like all of the mock witness. Yeah, yeah, of course. This is our opening statement. This is your opening statement.

Does this sound compelling? Do we like, have we excited emotions in you to make you predisposed to like our situation kind of thing? But yeah. So Quora has a lot of legal stuff on it. Mm-hmm. That's where I go from my legal advice. That's where my lawyer is. That's what I tell all my friends.

I'm like, what am I, Quora? Go to Quora, I type in my legal and I wait. Because you have to type in the question and wait for somebody to answer it. And you know the guy answering it is a cycle. It's privileged. Whoever if whoever answers you on Quora, it's privileged. Yeah. I mean, you know the guy answering is crazy because we've read so many Quora posts.

And everybody who goes on there. Because you've got to put yourself, you're not thinking of like Quora is guys that want to answer questions. You know what I mean? It's not normal guys. Like I don't want to answer your fucking questions. They're not getting the top lawyer in every field to answer that question. And they're probably not getting a lawyer, Chris. Sometimes you're probably not getting a lawyer.

Yeah. I am not a lawyer. are like R-I-A-N-A-L on Reddit. I can't read it, but just the concept of it is so funny to be. It is funny. There's a lot of guys to do this. I'm not a lawyer, but here's what I think is got to be the least valuable introductory sentence in the history of advice.

I've actually been sued a lot, though, and actually had to go to court to defend myself many times. So I'm a bit of an expert in the field. It's probably also generally. or somebody who's seen every episode of Law and Order. Right. Is what my guess is. Possibly even some of the old criminal intent episodes as well,

which I find are really helpful from a legal standpoint. Shout out to Law and Order Criminal Intent Toronto. They have a Canadian version of it now. That is fantastic. This guy asks, have you ever beaten a lawyer on a legal question? Or if you are a lawyer, have you ever been beaten by a lay person on a legal question?

How would that be? In what sense would that ever happen? Like sitting in. You know how sometimes they come in to do a settlement and you're sitting across, you guys are sitting across the table. And then you're like, wait a minute, wait a minute. You stop your lawyer, right? Oh, I see.

Wait a minute. It's like it's a client who. Okay. I mean, that's not. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but that's probably never a good thing when they're like, wait a minute. What did you just say? I don't know which is going to come out first,

but I was just. on Kill the Computer with Juniper and Bird Respector. And we were talking mostly about like lawyers who get in trouble for like AI site and stuff. And so one of the cases that I brought up, I loved because the plaintiff was a prisoner. And the defendant was the Alabama Department of Corrections. And the pro se prisoner caught the deal

C's lawyers using fake AI sites in a brief. And I was like, you got fucked over by a guy who can use the library an hour a day. Yeah. God. That's awesome. Loser. Well, Charles, I don't think this. I think this is an interesting case, especially for the guys podcast.

I will be reading this. And I think you guys are going to fight. Chris, this is going to be very relevant to some recent guys. stuff. Not a lawyer, but the phone company. An early teen son had run up a significant bill on 900 area code calls. Oh. We called the phone company and they did help by blocking the area code on our line. They refused to do anything about the substantial charges. Calls were from overseas locations out of U.S. jurisdictions. Can't help you. Pay up. All these conversations were via phone with a variety of corporate suits.

So I sent a letter to them, copying all the folks in departments I had spoken to, basically saying they were complicit in a sexual exploitation of a minor. And I was going to the media and authorities. That's what you got to do. You got to go to the media. That's the way you can take these guys down is go to the media and say, yeah, they were sexually exploiting my child by what exactly? What did they do?

Phone sex. No, I know. But what exactly did the phone? what is like I want you more guilty of that allowing your kid to do that foreign addict and the phone company was giving him access I see by yeah okay he goes if I did get he goes if I I'm going to the media authorities if I did not get a satisfactory answer by date certain quickly got a call from customer service saying that if I sent a copy of our son's birth certificate establishing his age they would

eliminate all the charges in a dispute My guess. Writing this down for when Charlie gets a little bit older. I know how to get out of some of these big bills. Just getting a little PDF saved in the file. This is my dad. This answers from my dad. Yeah.

My guess is that their legal department is, and by the way, let me bring, I want to say this before, this is one of those things that I know didn't happen. You know what I mean? There's just no way this happened. but I do remember growing up there was this kid Nick across the street it's actually Theo's brother I don't know where he got this information right but that he learned if a minor racks up a bill on anything and they send the bill in the miners name now this isn't true I want to say Charles I know this isn't true and I think the listeners are probably going to be like this is going to be the

dumbest thing I've ever heard that you could write disaffirm on the bill and send it back and they couldn't do anything about it. That sounds like fringe on the flag shit. And he goes, so he would sign up for Columbia House and get all the free CDs. And then they would send him the bill for the next seating. And he would write disaffirm on it and mail it back. Well, I will tell you two things about me. as a youth. One, I did the Columbia

House thing and then I would just send in a change of address for and I was never tracked down and the statute of limitations is well expired. Number two, I definitely believe the phone sex thing happened. When I was a kid

I used to dial, I don't know if you're old enough to remember sports phone, but it used to be, you would dial 9-7-6-13-1-3-1-2 and it would update every couple of minutes and like some fucking guy would read the wire on all of the baseball scores and all of the college basketball scores and I don't know how I developed and I must have called that I would call every couple of minutes like I was hitting

refresh on Ticketmaster for a new release and my parents never complained to me about it but I didn't know at the time that those were almost certainly told calls. But I think they just paid them. Because my parents, my parents did. I think they did. I was too young and they probably were like, oh,

or they didn't even notice. My parents found porno in my room and just got rid of it. It wasn't even porno. I've always been mad about this. They found a penthouse letters magazine and a Victoria secret catalog under my bed, under my bed. Yeah. Like in between the mattress and the box springs,

just threw it away, never said another word about it. But they knew what it was for, obviously. For masturbating. Yeah. I mean, I think even if you don't want to call it pornography. To you, it was pornography, definitely. But I get it.

When I got caught with the phone bill, Chris, the 900 phone bill, and they were like, who's calling Costa Rica? It was some shit like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Who made this call that costs all this money? I was like, and they found out it was me. I just said I called Freddie Kruger because he had one too.

He had like a 900 number. And they were just like, yeah, I believe you were on the phone with Fray. Krueger for several minutes. Wait a second. What do you mean Freddie Kruger had a 900 number? Not a sex number, but Freddie Kruger had a one-nine-hundred number. I wasn't jacking off to Freddy Kruger. Come on.

That's almost as wild as when you were jacking off to Rose. Don't. Did you not ask Freddie Kruger for a handjob? I did. Freddie Kruger wasn't a jack-off call. You talked to, he, you called. And it was like, oh, I'm Freddie Kruger. Here's some stuff.

you know yeah yeah yeah he's the commercial all the time of him being like i'm terrified it's really crazy before the internet what kind of shit there was like that you know yeah i mean i was i mean there's that wrestling line too right oh yeah like there's of that that uh that one image that i see all the time of like a wrestling with like a big like you know soy face uh you know on like the end of a one nine hundred call yeah what would you you would just call in like a like a wrestler would like shit talk you and no they would tell you news like oh it's a wrestling news one okay yeah yeah so yeah that it makes sense a sports thing the news thing it makes sense the freddy kruger one i'm just still a little bit confused about what exactly you were talking to

freddie kruger of my own it's like a recorded haunted housey kind of message yeah okay because we're listening the other we were watching bill mar club random talked to some 20 year olds until he decided to say the r word out of nowhere But so we're watching Bill Maher talk. Wow, how random of Bill Moore. He only hits that randomness every episode. And he brings up, he brings up answering machines. He's like, you guys probably don't know nothing about an answering machine.

You know what I mean? He called them phone machines. Phone machines. And I started to think about the fact. I started thinking about the fact that we had one, right? And then I would see this commercial. for funny answering machine messages.

I fucking begged my parents to get it. I thought it would be so fucking cool. Yeah. To have like, it would be like, nobody's home. Nobody's home. Yeah.

Those people are known as the coolest people in town when you call them. I remember people who had those messages and you're just like, especially if you have to call it multiple times, you know, you're like calling the same person. And it's like,

again, nobody's home and it goes on for so long and you're like yeah yeah yeah i get it it was fucking funny maybe one time like and it's not okay this is from ask legal i emptied the lost and found at the restaurant where i work and the owner of one of these items demands that i reimburse her for this i work at a restaurant that's owned by a slum lord we have a lost and found and we don't have any formal procedures with this lost and found i noticed that we had a lot of items in it and they were very old so i took the initiative to empty this box up i don't want to vividly remember seeing a woman's brown leather glove.

Anyway, a few days later, the owner calls me up frantically. He was with the owner of a pair of brown leather women's gloves. Apparently, she had called him on two occasions about the whereabouts of her brown leather glove, and he told her that he sees them and for her to come to the restaurant and collect him. However, without the owner notifying any of us about this conversation with the owner of that brown leather glove and also without a formal lost and found policy, I took the initiative to clear space and I either had the items in the lost and found recycled donated to a thrift

shop in the area or threw them away. This woman, the owner of that brown leather glove is livid now. And she's requested that I pay her $125 for the loss of her glove. No, it's, yeah, it's got to be on the business of anybody, but I don't know. This is kind of an interestingly, I guess it depends. I wonder if there are laws surrounding this. If you have to like post how long something is going to stay in the lost and found if you have any. Charles, do you have any insight if you would have any responsibility in this situation? I do not have any insight. I would think the answer is that you let her sue you and go, I didn't see a fucking love.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, I don't know. How are you going to prove that I threw away your glove? I never saw a glove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And anyway, like, I didn't steal your glove. Yeah.

Like, you don't show up and with a glove on. on like OJ and then try to argue the case. Well, that would be a good call. Bring a smaller glove and then have her try to have her try to put it on and be like, oh, yeah, it looks like the glove does not fit. But I don't know what you do. Like, I think, I think you just tell that woman to chill the fuck out. Yeah, you don't need that customer.

So it goes, the owner, the slum lord owner of the restaurant thinks that the onus is on me. I make $15 an hour and we actually had a lot of wage theft take. place and it'd take me 10 hours to reimburse her for those leather gloves. My view is that she was at fault for losing her gloves. I also think that the owner of the restaurant is at fault for not having a formal procedure for the lost and found and not communicating with any of us that someone will be coming to our restaurant to get their gloves. Who's at fault here?

And who should pay for the customer for lost gloves? He's not at fault. The employee is not at fault. If anybody would be at fault, it would be the owner of the restaurant. But I don't even think he is, honestly. if you lose something and it's in the loss and found after a certain period of time, everyone assumes it's not going to be there forever, right? The first thing I'll say is that this is exactly what small claims court is like,

because 90% of the information is irrelevant. I yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Who cares that he's a slum? I mean, I care because like whatever, but who cares that he's a slum. Here's the only thing that matters in this case. if you don't pay back the person for the glove, is the boss going to fire you? Fire you, yeah, that's the only thing.

Like it's a non-legal question. Yeah. And then it's dumping it on. And if it is, then just walk away. Yeah. Because you don't want to work for that guy. There's got to be a different red, but here's the other thing.

Who the fuck takes the initiative and throughout out everything in the restaurants lost and found? That's like the most suspicious part Yeah, yeah, maybe they did steal it actually. Maybe they are stealing things from that. But who knows? Maybe there's a lot. Yeah, it's true.

How small could the lost and found area be? How much stuff is getting left and lost there? Like, she's got like eight iPods and a glow. But if that's the case, maybe then it also helps the employee's case because it's like, this shit was so old. So it actually was piling up. We had like so much stuff in there from such a long period of time ago that it was like time to clear it out. But you're right. That is suspicious. That is suspicious.

I would never in my life decide I'm going to clean something at work. Well, I don't know if you've ever. See, you're a different kind of employee, I think. There's like, there is jobs where it's like, hey, you're trying to pass the time. You're trying to think of things to do to make the time pass versus just sitting there. I know, Brian, you would just sit there. I understand. Yeah. So like, I've worked at places where I was like, fuck man, I want to do some more. Like, you know, I want to do something. I'm getting so fucking bored. Like, is there anything I could do possibly?

Well, strap in, because this is a theme for a little bit because we're going to read another, but I want to read you some of the comments on this because I found them incredible. Nobody should pay anybody for the lost glove. The owner's 100% responsible for keeping up with their gloves. And she should have returned an ASAP to get her property. Agreed. And this guy replies. I love this guy.

She did call. In my opinion, it's the business owner who should have retrieved the glove the minute it was requesting stuff disappears from lost and found boxes all of the time okay this guy goes nah if you just throw away stuff without asking it's legally on you and op all but admitted so much so now he's like you sir have admitted that you threw the glove away you oh well he didn't admit they didn't admit that they threw the glove away they only said that they threw away the stuff that was in the lost and found they didn't actually remember even seeing a glove so So I'm going to tell you, this guy's name's Jeff Danger.

Okay. And he says, now he says, no. Jeff Danger stole it. He goes, if you just throw away stuff without asking it's legally on you and O.P. all but admitted that. This guy replies, right? Another guy replies. He goes, there are no laws about lost and found.

It's a courtesy some businesses choose to do. There's no legal liability. Then Jeff Danger replies to him and goes, care to Google that? Oh, he care to use your Google machine. I mean, that's the thing I was asking because I'm not clear on that, but it does seem like it would be a tough thing to enforce to have actual laws about that.

I think if you lose something and it's lost, there's the assumption that it's not going to be found, and it is a courtesy to have a lost and found, right? What is true is that finders,keepers is not real. Yeah, you can't just shove the gloves in your pocket and then be like, boohoo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that is not actually a real principle. Losers Weepers is the Losers Weepers is a real principle Can I tell you guys? That's true. That was Justice Marshall.

It's been a while. We're going to move on to this next thing in a disc golf discussion. Oh, wow. We recently covered disc golf guys. Some people sent me a couple messages about a disc golf thing just that we maybe were a little bit

we weren't thinking of how heavy and dangerous some of these discs are. I got a couple of messages. What I'm made on the Instagram? Well, we just said that like, you know, oh, what's going to happen if you get hit by a disc? And they were saying you're thinking of like a frisbee or whatever, that some of these have some real weight to them and could possibly hurt some odd job. Yeah, yeah. So I want to apologize to all of the disc golf community for what we got wrong.

I want to just, I want to say that. But the disc golf community might get pretty mad at this next thing. Okay. So this starts out with an edit. Illinois state law. section 2765 Illinois criminal system ILCS 102027 from from 50 to paragraph 27 from CH 5 chapter 50 paragraph 27 section 27 if any person or persons finds any lost goods money bank notes or other chooses in action if a description whatever such person or person shall inform the owner thereof if known and shall make restitution

the same without any compensation whatever given except get such compensation as shall be voluntarily given on the part of the owner so they're just saying like if somebody loses something thing and you know who it is that lost it or there's a way to verify like ID or something then you are required to try to contact the person and give it back is that so now we're joining this situation in progress okay you're going to it's not a band of property in Illinois if it's lost even if you couldn't find it and stop searching. It's still your property and if found and you have your name and number on it, whoever finds it must inform the owner and give it back, make restitution of the same without any compensation as in no finders fee,

though the owner can give compensation if they want. To all you clowns, so this is a guy that lost a frisbee. Okay. When you know this starts out with a guy, this is a guy that a disc. A disc. A Yes, yes. It goes to all you clowns saying it's legally abandoned or they don't have to give it back, you're wrong. That's the law. Play it against sports locations that don't take down the information of who sells them what items or major suck fest because it allows for people to engage in the easiest fencing of stolen goods ever imagine. I play it against sports like replay sports around here. They used to have one, which is a, yeah, like secondhand sports stuff or whatever. So they're basically saying they're they're likening them. because this is an issue with like pawn chops and stuff like that where pawn chops you know are they they allow a lot of stolen goods to come in and they don't you know so that's what they're saying basically is that these are it's basically a they're allowing for some pretty heavy duty fencing and gifts and whatnot he goes it's the he goes especially when it comes to disc golf disc which are obviously very easy for people to just walk up and to take this happened to me and the play it against sports it was sold to didn't seem to give a single shit that they had purchased and sold a stolen disc. So the Play It Against Sports in Naperville, Illinois, you suck. And I hope nobody buys another disc from your location ever again. Your policy is making you an unwitting accomplice in theft.

It's really not hard to keep purchase records, especially when you use freaking barcos to sell the damn items. Yeah. Well, I hope the thief enjoyed his two or three dollars that the Play It Against Sports enjoyed their quick $8 off of my property. The resale of illegally acquired disc is a blight on our sport, and I really hope that there's more that we all can do to crack down on a problem, such as coordinating with local park districts, to establish secure loss of disc receptacles that are regularly emptied out and held by the park district,

that they're secure facilities so that people have a way to get back lost discs from courses without having to rely on meeting up with whoever found it. Instead, just going to the park and district building at their own leisure. I have one impression. I have one takeaway from that, which is there are probably incredible bargains at the play it again in neighborhood. There are.

Sounds like there's some really good. Now, the thing I thought of, I could not help but just picturing the little bum bum with the little and then it says like play it against sports, Neighborville, Illinois. They're showing up there being like,

do you have any purchase records? Yeah. You have any purchase records for this? You keep purchase records. Yeah, let me see. Hang on. He's doing something else as he's saying. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's also, it's on law and oral special victims unit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, the lesson here is write your name on your desks. Well, he's, I think he did let write his name on the disc is what he's saying. Name and phone numbers on there and played against sports took it and sold it anyways. But I. So wait, they didn't check his ID when he sold the desk.

Yeah, they didn't check his ID. So it's like, that's actually kind of odd. Anyways, they're allowing potentially children to even sell discs and stuff like that, which is a whole different issue. But yeah, you check his ID, then you match it up with the thing. If it's not on there, then you say, oh, hang on a second. We got to get you an extra special little gift for giving this to you. And then you go into the back and call the police and then you call the owner and then you get that sorted. Yeah.

Well, this guy answers. He goes, my question to you is, can you prove ownership of the disc? Having your name and number on it does not prove that you own it as anybody can find. the disc and write their name on it. Oh, so wait a second. So maybe you stole the disc from another guy. Oh, hang on a second. It's actually pretty easy to change a nine to an eight and like a few other things as well. And you could easily sort of change the, you could change the name on there as well. You could potentially cover up a name and put a different one on there. So yeah, you're going to have to go, we're going to have to go back to the original point of purchase on this and see if they keep records.

Chris, he replies, and he goes, yes, I can. I have a receipt of purchase in form of order placed via a seller on Facebook. Oh, but wait a second, the seller on Facebook, are you sure that they acquired that disc in a lawful manner? This is how the episode unfolds. This is why it's on SVU, because it all came in like a shipping container from Thailand. Law and order disc golf is, I mean, it's not the crazy. idea I've heard of. They got a lot of law and orders now. He goes, look up your state's laws regarding proof. So he goes, the purchase transaction via PayPal, which includes exact item description,

an item received based on USPS shipping number. I definitely purchased it. The guy replies and goes, we have a local disc store that has lost boxes at most of our courses here and they empty them and hold them at the store till you pick it up. And our community here in the Pacific Northwest is really great and kind, maybe move to a better place. Yeah, oh, honey, yeah, sorry, honey, you got to quit your job. We have to move to a more, you know, a more disc golf friendly, like above board kind of area. Yeah, someone took my. You'll make new friends.

Someone sold my wobbler. Honey, what are you not understanding? Someone sold my wobbler. Oh, you don't think that they'll have like bridge clubs there and stuff like that. You can meet new people. like this is a this is an issue so now a guy pops in he goes so you knew exactly who took it and you were standing in front of them during the time they took it but you're mad at store down the road sounds like you gave up on the disc as soon as you walked away from the culprit kind of like not

continuing to try to find it in the woods or leaving it in a pond or a lake if someone fishes it out of a lake I'm positive you have no claim to it I feel like you had three choices start a fight and get your disc or call the cops or walk away and forget about it. I guess you're still allowed to be mad, but why didn't you get the names or the plate number? Oh, see, this is a real good episode. Like, maybe we can check security cams in the area and see if we could possibly get a partial plate even. Sorry, you lose the disc on the, like, this guy's like, you lose the disc on the pussy rule.

Yeah, you're too much of a coward. Like he took it out of your hand. Yeah, well, he, does he know? Did he even say that that he watched the person steal it? Well, now he's going to explain what happened. Okay. Dude, read the post. I posted the state law at the very top of it.

It's still my disc. Lost property still belongs to the owner that lost it. I also didn't directly see the guy pick up the disc. It's just the only thing physically possible. And when I confronted him, he had already put it in his car. And I don't have the right to just search his car. I'm not starting a fight because I'm not an idiot. I'm not calling not, well, I argue with that a little bit.

Yeah. I'm not calling 911 because it's not emergency. I called the non-emergency number and he left by the time they got there. So I just filled out a report. I did have a video. Wait, so wait, how did he see the guy holding the disc? Isn't it just like in a big disc bad? Right.

He is saying he didn't actually see the guy get the disc. It was only, he was the only guy where it was. physically possible that he could have the disc. So who knows if the guy even has a fucking disc. Who knows that there's some sort of disc, like a real crafty, quick little disc thief who kind of like, you know, snuck up, grabbed it. And now there's this guy who has no idea what you're talking about it. This guy's disc is the base of a sparrow nest.

That's the. Yeah. Oh, we got to sue that sparrow. He goes, I did have the video of their vehicle with the license plate number. What are the police going to do about it where all I have is my word. circumstantial evidence at best. Yeah. This guy goes, wow, even my broke ass ain't that caught up over a $20

discs for fuck's sake. And if the disc has more value than that, pay attention to where it goes or don't throw it in the woods. I mean, I don't think he meant to throw it in the woods. It's not rub salt in the wound on him. Maybe don't be so shitty at Disgall. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, the next reply is nice victim blaming. Yeah, he's victim blaming. you for being a bad disc golf player it's not your fall yeah you know because pros never landed in the rough or the water i didn't land you ever heard of a gust of wind motherfucker he goes here are my last seven scores yeah yeah posting score card he's in court and he's got like a blown up scorecard he's got an overhead projector with his scorecard with the law and order with the with the whole sound or it's just like

he goes behind he goes I didn't land in the rough I left it on the fairway and before I remembered and went back for it the jackass playing behind me already picked it up and brought it back to his car

and lied to me when I asked if he saw it I guess you're perfect though and I've never forgotten to pick up a disc though it's so it's my fault somebody stole my disc I don't think the person stole it

I don't know it just seems odd to like steal a $20 disc and go like in the middle of your game, go back to your car and put it in there to keep it safe. Like it sounds to me like you never saw the disc at all. You lost it somewhere and you forgot where it was or whatever. And now you're trying to blame it on some person. And I think it's a mystery.

I don't think the person exists. I think he's just mad that play it. Play it against sports. Play it against sports. Didn't write down the cellar. And so he's created this whole back store. So play it again sports. did have his disc.

It seems like he went there to check. And he was just, and he was on sale, right? And he's like, that's mine. And they were like, $8. And he's like, $8. My name's inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Someone did take it presumably at some point, but he doesn't know that it was that person or found it. That's why I mean. Listen, do you know those people that make a living like getting in the water of a golf course and getting the golf balls and like an egg carton and sell? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's disc golf. guys that stomp around in the woods.

And to be honest, they deserve it. You left it. They're out in the woods. They find it. Let them fucking sell it, man. Okay. Now I want you to picture yourself as the guy in the parking lot when this guy whose favorite disc has now gone missing because he remembered it being on like the seventh fairway. Oh, I forgot to pick it up.

And he goes back and it's not there. And he like decides that you're the guy. Oh, brutal. And you're just like trying to get home for dinner. Yeah, like, what the fuck are you talking about? You're on my disc. Yeah. You're on my disc.

What are you talking about, man? Like, yeah, it seems like you're holding a key between your knuckles being like, back off, man. Here's another thing. Oh, I'll finish his, I'll finish the whole thing. He goes, uh, I guess you're perfect, though, and I've never forgotten to pick up a disc, though. So it's my fault. Somebody stole my disc right? It's not about the value of the disc.

It's about the people stealing discs and stores buying stolen goods. So. Yep. Just a disc. Here's a question. Wait, before you do this, can I just say since we're going to past episodes, I listened to MREs. Ah, yeah.

I just wanted to say I once found a like 12-year-old tin of Thai green chili paste. and made tuna salad with it. How to go? Do you get sick? The way I put it at the time, I was, you know, in my 50s already. And I said, just the normal amount of diarrhea. Oh, see, I love diarrhea. By the way, too, if we are mentioning MRE guys,

I also found got a lot of messages about how popular that Steve. He is. He is like people, a lot of people who listen to our podcast like that guy. I know. And they're like, oh, I don't think. we really made fun of them too bad or anything like that we do like him but yeah it's like i don't

think there's a lot of m re guys that listen like that actually eat the food but there's a lot of guys who are watch that channel and it was like one of their favorite channels at one point well here's a tough guy let's get a tough guy in here mm-hmm i forgot to scan one item at walmart and i'm now getting theft charges is that right uh well yeah it is a thing now yeah it is a thing that what's the what's there's a name for it like there's a name for the crime like you know yeah i don't remember uh yeah shop dropping or something no yeah it's like maybe maybe like skip scanning i think skip scanning or something like that which is a common thing that people do i you know it used to be you do it not anymore but i used to do it all time now i can pay for it they have the weight thing

though right they have the weight thing yeah you can you can't you can't you can't But it is. No, what you would do. You do it like Indiana Jones. I know. What I would do is you scan something, right? And then it says, please wait for cashier assistance. And you throw a few things in the bag real quick.

And then the cashier comes and clears it. And then I got you. You know what I'm saying? That's what I would do. So you were committing a definite crime that you would have been able to get arrested for for sure because you wouldn't have been able to defend yourself if they like check the cameras or whatever. But I guess if you forgot to. Scan one thing.

You might be able to get away with, like you might be able to prove your case in court and say, this was actually a mistake that I made and I'm willing to pay for it now. And that might clear it all up. Yeah. I want to say that this guy knows the fix to the problem and I agree with them. Easy answer. Walmart. Do away with the bullshit self-pay stations.

Go back to having cashiers. Yeah. That's the solution. That's the actual good thing. Walmart pay employees to work as cashiers. Yeah. I fucking hate the. self checkouts. I avoid using them

any chance, unless I absolutely have to. And now he goes, I was almost arrested at Walmart just recently. My son and I ran in to pick up a few things. I bought around $100 worth of groceries and my son purchased a 12 pack of soda. He paid for his 12 pack separately and

placed it into my cart after paying for it. He stuck the receipt into his pocket. Then while I scanned and paid for my own items, he went outside to get the car and pull it up closer to the door because I just recently had surgery on my leg. I was stopped at the door. Now, we've covered loss prevention guys, by the way.

They're really, really kind, understanding individuals. Very normal. Very normal, guys. From the videos I've seen, you can usually get out of this by sucking their dick. Well, oh, yeah. Oh, I just found out there's small claims court porno. I sent it to the group chat. Okay.

Where a woman's like, she's testifying, but she's like not naked. Yeah. She's dressed in like really revealing stuff and she grabs her titties and bounces them and stuff while she's talking. Like just a, it's good. It's good stuff. I might masturbate to it later. He goes, uh, he paid for his 12. Okay.

Okay. So I was stopped at the door to check the receipt. The gentleman at the door said, this soda is not on your receipt. I told him that my son paid for it, but he went outside to get the car. The man actually said to me, sure, your imaginary son paid for it. To which I replied, excuse me. Now, I believe this guy. Yeah.

Because again. I believe it because we've read and watched videos of all these loss prevention guys. We know George Langabier, who's one of the guys that we watched a lot of videos of. He said on multiple occasions that he will, he would like to arrest people if they start drinking a Coke in the store before they leave. He believes that's theft. And even his fellow loss prevention officers are like, yeah, it's not a big deal. But he disagrees. So a lot of these guys are.

like they want to have conflict and they want to arrest people and they want to get people in trouble. And I believe the guy because the dialogue is so compelling. And it's true. He called over a lost prevention officer who literally stood there and called the police right in front of me. I was so shocked and I was not being very pleasant. I could have maintained my composure a little better.

I would, I want to know that's so load bearing. Yeah. Where it's like, God, I wonder what he was doing. But you can also understand his frustration a little bit that it's just like, you're accusing me of this thing and accusing me of having a fake son and all of this stuff. That's cool, though. Yeah, yeah. Well, my fake, can you imagine, like, the guy that needs to steal one 12 pack of pop and

says, my fake son paid for it. I mean, I guess the plan, the whole plan, like, it's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say somebody did. He goes, I was shocked. He goes, I explained this person. My son paid for the soda and his whole display is absolutely absurd. I told him that I'm going to go and get my son and show his receipt. And he physically stuck his arm out to block my exit.

He said, you're going to stand right here and wait for the police. And they ushered me into a small room with my car. I was being belligerent at this point. I was demanding my money back for everything that I bought, not being nice at all. Well, there's groceries, though. You do need the groceries, probably. I guess me going to go to a different grocery store. Yeah, I get my buddy.

I mean, you're not getting that. money. Go to the other Walmart where your face is on the wall now. Yeah. I was demanding my money back for everything I bought. Oh, he goes, the police arrived. The first thing that the actual police officer said was, did you check to see that the man's son was outside with the receipt? And they said, no. The officer immediately said, why are you wasting my time with this then? Ultimately, my son, uh-oh. Nightmare day for the loss prevention officer to get dressed down by a real police officer. That is their actual thing they have nightmares about before a shit. the worst day of my life. The worst day of their

life. Because all of them, and without fail, they're always like, man, and the cop was like, good job. And it's like that is what they're always just hoping for a real police officer to go like, good job little buddy. Yeah. I'll never forget Langabirir telling a story about how he called the police

and they stood by the exit doors, all the exit doors and waited. But whatever, he was like, what happens in the stores? My jurisdiction. Yeah. So he like tackled and beat up the guy in the store. Yeah, he'd ran and did a Goldberg spear on the guy. Yeah. I'll never get tired of saying Target is my jurisdiction. Target is my jurisdiction. And he tells me, yeah, I was at store 263 like it's his beat like it's his neighborhood. Yeah. He goes, uh, uh, this first reply is like, at least you can sue Walmart for unlawful detention and assault. I don't think that. I don't think assault that you're going to get that assault

lawsuit. You need to prove damages, right, or something. You know, you have to let's get some tough guys, guys. We love tough guys on the show. I'm telling you now, if that dude tried to stop me from going out the door, I catch an assault charge. Well, that's smart. That's smart.

Turn it into a real crime. You're being accused of a fake crime. You're like, well, I'll give you a real crime that I'll actually go to jail for. Yeah, not guilty on petty theft, but convicted of felony assault. He goes,

Door guy done that with my 13 year old son and I walked up and told my son to go to the truck. I told that guy to go ahead and call the police because I was literally going to beat his ass until the police got there. That's nobody, the film Nobody 2, like where the bounce is like smacks his daughter and then he's just like, you guys,

I locked my cell phone inside. It goes back and beats all their asses. Yeah, yeah, he goes, but honestly, they can't legally stop you from leaving. and they sure can't make any physical contact with the customer. Kind of right, you know. I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's true, actually.

I think inside the store you can basically do. But they can, I think they can. It's like maritime law. Yes. It's like they can throw you overboard on a cruise. But they can definitely, I feel like they're allowed to stop you from going if they feel like you stole something. I think it depends on where it is maybe.

But I think technically they are allowed to do that, I think. I mean, guys, you would. Marlowe. You would not believe, I'll tell you this, you would not believe the amount of small claims cases that are tied to going on cruises. It was like, it was so common that I was like, I am, because somebody would pay for the cruise and then they'd be like, I decided I couldn't go. So I asked for my money back.

It's like, what the fucker, I already paid? Yeah. I can give you your money back? Yeah. You're nuts. Anyway, this guy goes up. No, no, no. You have to buy insurance.

They offer you. They're like, this is like an $8,000 thing and it's nonrefundable. Do you want to buy insurance? That was always the answer. Yeah, Charles, that was always the answer in the comments and people. They, you know, they would start bringing up other stuff like, well, it was later days before. But it's like, you're not going to win. This guy goes, I would have ripped everyone with a blue smock inside a new asshole.

And if my kid didn't have a receipt. So start beating up other people in the area as well, even the ones who aren't stopping. from going outside. We've decided. The greeter is like 82. And now like, I would let me tell you what. I would,

yeah, I'd be beating this shit out of an 86 year old greeter. The guy is just getting himself out of the house in the morning and he finds himself being beaten within an inch of his life. Yeah.

I love this. The son's stuff to receipt in his pocket. Well, he does say, and if my kid didn't have the receipt, I would have made a receipt. and watch the surveillance camera right then and there in the lost prevention room. Then when it was all over, I would have told us many people who would listen.

What happened? Fuck them. Yep. Well, and I bet you Walmart would have trouble staying in business after you got that negative word of mouth out about their store. I love this next guy that comments on that. You would have done absolutely nothing.

Oh, this guy's tougher. He's tougher than this guy. He's saying like, you wouldn't do shit. it, buddy. I'd beat this shit out of you easily if I was fucking, if I was standing there and I saw you start attacking the loss prevention guy, I'd kick your fucking

ass. This guy goes, just another dickhead trying to make a name and promotion for himself. Quite common at Wally World. So, this guy gives some legal advice. By the way, it's not attempted it's not attempting or the act

of theft until you get out of the store with it. You can load up every single pocket on your purse and walk up to the register and dump all out on the belt in front of cashier or self-pay station again refer to my last my first sentence so this guy's like he can pretend to steal as much as you want i mean i guess that there it's not smart though and they definitely i think can stop you probably but you're i think that is probably the law like where i am maybe because you know you can sometimes you have something or whatever until you leave the store with it it isn't you're not actually breaking any law right but what's

why do why do that it seems like a really dumb thing to do. YouTube prank pretending to steal 80 times from Walmart. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I got a few more questions here. A few more small things. This is from Quora. The guy goes, would it make sense for the quote, boxers must register their fist as deadly weapons myth to exist in the marble universe? I could not find anybody to believe that, although I did growing up. Then if you become like a karate guy or a boxer, you have to register your hands with the police department as a lethal weapon. Mike told me he had to do that. No, I don't think there's any registering involved, but I do think that there is the possibility

of like if you are a professional fighter, that it could be like an enhanced charge or something like that. Yeah, like assault with a deadly weapon. Yeah, like or something like that, that could be potentially the case. Or maybe it's just like an aggravating factor or whatever. Right. You used to have to do it until the recent Second Amendment law. Yeah.

Now you don't have to register your dead. You no longer have to register. Yeah, you're allowed to just open carry. That's nice. The new, both of the karate guys I grew up with said they had to register. They go to the police station and fill out of form. And now that I'm saying that, it's like, I should have known they were lying right there. I mean, that's the tough guy's Canadian girlfriend, right?

Yeah. I had to register these hands. Going to the police station and being like, do you have on record? Mike's hands by any can I get the hand form I need to read I need the no this is for guns I need the hand form here's a Canadian one guys want to hear a Canadian one yeah yeah I love Montreal oh okay well I was crossing at the intersection of St. Michael and Henry Burrasso the light was green and only had a few seconds left so I began sprinting to make the light upon reaching the median, it changed to yellow. I hesitated for a moment to stop, but I started slipping on ice.

So I started running again to regain my balance. By the time I made it across the street, the second half of the street, the light had turned red. Then a cop from the other side of the street came around a ticket to me. Now, I don't really mind the $48 I have to pay for this, but I've never been in any trouble with the law whatsoever and believe I would have been at greater risk had I stopped and likely slipped. I've never been to court for any reason either. So how do I go about contesting? I'm not sure that if you're starting to slip on ice and so you start running faster to not slip is a very believable defense. I don't see how that would. It would make you slip more, I would think.

I agree, Chris. It sounds to me like he, listen, man, we've all been there. He cut it a little close and he crossed the street on a yellow or whatever and then it turned red and it does suck. It's a fucking lame. But it's like, if a police officer saw you do it, I think that they technically can give you a ticket. You're not going to win it, even if it is, you know, fucking bullshit or whatever. $48. And you're just saying it's the point of the whole thing.

It's like, just pay them. Listen, a lot of times I would, I love guys. Like, I mean, sovereign citizens are obviously like horrible in some ways. But I do think it is very funny how they gum up the court and they're like, they go to court for everything and act like fucking. maniacs in there and just like I think it's funny to in a way to waste everyone's time yeah but it's wasting your own time too you need to have no you don't need to have nothing else going on yourself in order to do that because you're when you're wasting everyone's time you're also wasting your own time at the same time it's the only time it's the only and it's like I do kind of find the whole thing funny but I

also love when the cop just gets fed up and yeah we've talked to about it. It's the only time where you're ever on the police officer's side where you're ever like God, I hope you fucking tases this guy. As soon as you say the word traveling, I want you to be dragged out of that car.

Seeing them getting taken down in court or whatever or just like told all like that is, it is really the only time where you're just like yeah, I'm taking law enforcement side. Every, you know, almost every other instance you're like, fuck these guys. But when it comes to sovereign

citizens it's like that's what these guys need because they're just so insufferable and yeah like it is funny but it's also they are the most annoying i've said this before there's that movie sovereign with nick offerman yeah it's it's a good movie i think but i couldn't watch it because he's just playing this fucking sovereign citizen who's so annoying and it's just so annoying listening to him say all this shit over and over and over again right and i think i'm sure you've actually even heard it doing not even a show guys doing this stuff you know what I mean

I can get why you wouldn't like it this guy goes regardless of the reason by your own admission you bolted across at the last second did not take into account the conditions of the street and we're still in the street when the light changed you will not succeed in contesting this ticket at the light is about the change don't run across the icy intersection

did the cop give you a talk about how you could have slipped under a bus okay well I ain't right right buddy and not you're yeah you got your point across he's he won't win if you can test it we agree on that let's not all right mcgruff can i just get out of there you know i'm in a hurry i hate it when the cops are like come up with some disaster that could have happened to you if you had oh my god catastrophizing i went to t i like a few months ago we forgot to bring our passports to the airport we were just flying domestically, but we don't, my wife and I didn't, don't have real ID. So you got to bring a passport if you can't just use your regular driver's license anymore here. And I, we were super

apologetic. We knew that we were going to have to just sort of suck it up and like be subject to enhanced whatever. And a supervisor comes over and starts lecturing and really talking. And I'm like, I looked at him and I'm like, you're going to let us go, right? Like, why are you wasting an additional five minutes of both of our time? Well, so that he can, so you can learn a lesson, Charles. Yeah. And I mean, I really, I'm like, I just sort of looked at him like, come on, man. Yeah, like, you're already validated.

I'm a grown up. I know that I fucked up here. This experience alone is enough. Yeah, yeah. Like, if I'm being belligerent, talk down to me. If I'm like super apologetic, you don't need to give me the lesson. I agree. I agree.

And saying he could have slipped under the bus is so stupid. This guy goes. And I've heard Montreal has like, is apparently like a huge jaywalking enforcement jurisdiction. They may have a reputation for like being real, real, real strict about it, which would drive me insane because I cross in like New York. Just take your life into your hands. That's Mr. J-Walk. Charles, I jaywalk is all.

often as I can. I don't jaywalk as much anymore because I'll be walking around with Charlie and a stroller and it's made me more like just even when I'm walking but I used to be a huge jaywalk. My wife hated that I would teach my kid to jaywalk. I would jaywalk when when Gwen was growing up. I would jaywalk and I'd be standing on the other side of the street looking at Katie and be like come on. Why didn't you go? Yeah, that's me. That was 100% me. Come on, man. I got across. You know, this guy goes. So you had to sprint and ended up in the street on a red light. The ticket is justified.

Pay the fine and move on with your life. Yeah. He gets a reply and goes, did it have a walk, don't walk, countdown signal on the light? If it doesn't sound like you'd have a case, if he was warning you,

the light was about the change. If it was just a regular green for car traffic, then hell yes, contest. Guy replied, the people, people will, Reddit is so fantastic because of the fact that people will encourage you

to do the stupidest thing on the planet. Yeah. Like I was just today reading a thing about a person calling 911 repeatedly. And they said, it's because the police told me that every time I encounter this person, I need to call 911 to have it on a record. And so the 911 operators are like, all right. You know what I mean? Like, you've called a lot. And now they're like, how do I get that 911 operator fired? And I just look at it. I'm like, maybe the guy's super dangerous. stop calling 911 all the time. You know what I mean? They're not a record keeping.

Yeah, and you're not an, it's not an emergency, right? So it's like, it's one thing. Listen, we've all heard those bad cases where it's like the 911 operator didn't like, you know what I mean? They're like getting like bogged down and all these details when there's a real emergency going on and like they've done something really wrong. You're just saying like this person made me feel bad. I want to get them fired from.

Is it a restraining order situation? No, it wasn't. It was literally. like they were like I think they saw a guy it seemed to me that maybe the guy was open carrying from what I was reading

like he was open and carrying which is all right yeah but it made the person feel unsafe uh yeah yeah so they call every time yeah you should be calling you should be calling uh 1-900 Freddie Kruger that would be great you come and get them

yeah yeah well at least that night when he goes to sleep. This guy goes out. Freddie Kruger's a guy that goes in your dreams, right? Okay. How do you not know who Freddie Kruger is? Buddy, relax. It's an old,

old movie, man. I was a very young... There was one recent. Well, I don't know... With Jackie Earl Haley. He's currently... He's currently a senator from Oklahoma. Yeah.

I don't know... No, no. No, that... No, he's not. I don't know. I don't know him well enough. Like, I know from like the Simpsons episodes, but I,

When I watched Freddie Kruger, I was like so young, like so young and I never came back and went back and watched them again. You watch them. They're great. I love them. There's a lot of movies, you know, I was watching. I watched Beverly Hills. There's a lot of movies. I watched Beverly Hills cop last night, the original one. Great movie.

Good movie. Opening chase scenes incredible. Fantastic. Oh yeah, because it's real cars. It's not like the bullshit CGI nowadays. But I did find it. I found myself like literally saying to myself, holy shit, this movie's a night from 1984. why does it look better than new movies?

Like, how is that the case? How did they make this look so good? And why has it like sort of regressed or whatever? It's weird. Because everything sucks now. That's not true. Stuff's so good, but it's just like,

it's odd to me. Sometimes you'll watch movies from the 80s or whatever and they look really kind of shitty. But it's like some of those movies, they look so crisp. And like the fucking lighting and the coloring on it and stuff is just so perfect. Yeah.

Here's a, I got a couple questions people ask. There aren't answers. but I just want to read these questions. This is off Quora. My family and I ordered an enormous meal from a new food joint that just opened in town. Upon completion, we collectively agreed that it was not satisfactory. When I returned to get my money back, they refused a refund.

Is suing overreaching? Okay. Can we reply to this one and say, no. Get your lawyers lined up. Get a team together. What did you try to return a bag of shit? Yeah, what do you, wait for eating? Yeah, come on, man.

This has got to be a joke. They gotta be kidding. You don't actually think that you're ever going to get your money back if you thought the food wasn't good. If you return, if you're like, take one bite of it and you're like, there's something fucked with this and you try to come back, maybe, but I don't even think they're in tight. They'd have to do it then.

But if you ate the fucking food, man, that's what you paid for. The way that you deal with that is you don't go back there. That's the way that you deal with it. I mean, maybe you could pull it off in restaurant, but not if you're a member of the clean plate club. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, my.

My wife used to go to lunch with this woman from work who never paid her bill. She would say the food was unsatisfactory. And every time. She's a scam artist. Yeah, but she didn't see herself that way. She's like that succulent meal kind of guy or whatever, that guy, you know. She didn't see it that way. She did genuinely believe that the food wasn't satisfactory because of me eating at like

apple bees and shit like that. You know, like places where the food. never satisfactory. But she's going back there regularly so she knows. So go find a fucking restaurant you like. I agree. Now, this is a scam artist. I think you're giving her too much credit.

She's a horrible person. She voted for Trump. So anyway, this person goes small claims against X from a plaintiff in Idaho. This is our last one. I love it when people try to sue social media. Oh, this is X. The everything website. I'm in Idaho wanting to file a small claims action

against Twitter, quote, X. In December, they allowed a from Pennsylvania to change my email to his this actually happened to me on Twitter. That's why he was murder X Brian instead of murder Brian. Okay. The murder Brian account, somebody changed the password and then put their email or put any email. Somebody guesses your password basically and logs into it and then changes it to their info. They never guessed my password.

Well, they did. Brian. They did though, right? In this instance, someone got your guess your password. No, they had a computer program that guessed my password. Okay, but yeah, like somebody somebody got your password and logged into it and then they just change your login information. It is true that my password is the same on almost everything. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Actually, Chris has seen my passwords now. They're actually very annoying to type in. Yeah. Thankfully, they just auto fill in my on my computer now. Yeah, this guy goes, I can log into all of Brian's shit. It's insane. I told you, I want you to be able to. I know.

In December, they allowed a hacker for, okay, so he goes, I was a user. since 2009. I had over 14,000 followers. I was very active with not only using but used it for news, etc. I paid for a few years for a blue check. That's where my sympathy starts to fall out. Yeah, I know.

I liked it when he was like, quote, X. Yeah. But now I've lost me. I paid for a blue check mark when I was cigar jack small's doing my threats at the end because I just thought it was funnier to have a blue check mark. on the account.

God, I only did for like two months. Like I got one month for free and then I paid for one month and then I got suspended. I'll always miss cigar jack small. God rest in peace cigar jack smalls. I definitely do see people posting cigar stuff and I'm like, oh man, it would be nice to reply to this guy or whatever about this. I'll see like a Joe Rogan clip where they're all smoking cigars or whatever. I told my brother about the not even a show.

the dancing guy, how funny it is to watch. That's just for anyone who's, if you don't listen to the bonus episodes, I did a few new, not even a show episodes. And there's one character I do named Dan Sins, who interviews like congressional candidates. And then I just say, hey, before we start the interview, I have to do a quick dance. And then I do like a full five minute dance to a whole song.

And then I never do the interview. My wife and I were laughing through the whole song. Anyway, he goes, uh, ever since December, Twitter has Twitter X is still taking money out of my account for the blue check. It's impossible to get a live person response to my complaints and plead a reinstate. There's no way to get with the person regarding the collection of blue check fees.

This is yet another person who doesn't understand that the point of X, that's the point. It's a fucking scam now. Yeah. I mean. Yeah, but the scam may to spread misinformation. This is a little bit worse because they're saying that he can't, but he can't even cancel his account. He can't even cancel his account. That's that's really scammy where they're like, hey, it's been actually taken from me and they won't allow me to cancel it now and they're still

taking money from me even though I'm not getting anything. You got to go through the credit card. Well, I had also talked about, I had also talked about David Drayman saying like, Elon, you got to do something about all this misinformation. That's like, David, the fucking, that's the point of the website now. Yeah. Yeah. Is to do that. So anyway, he goes, they can't do anything. I've tried to tell them if they simply change the response email back to my original email, which has been associated with the account since 2009, that I can get my account back and likely restore usage. I don't want to simply start a new account, as it will be almost impossible to get the

same group of followers, and X also slows the ability to build followers. My question, since Twitter has a main headquarters in Barstrup, Texas, and their service of processes is the Connecticut Corporation, can I serve X care of CT Corporation? in Idaho where I live and CT has an office in Boise. Do I also reference the Bastrop address? Can I sue for the full small claims amount of $10,000? I got an answer. I got an answer for him.

Yeah, you can do all of that and nothing is going to happen. I know. He's like, I would, 10,000. I think the plan here is to sue for $10,000. And he, because people would use to say this all the time to me. They'll just settle and give you the $10,000. Yeah, because it's a big corporation. They don't even want the headache.

And then you just tell them you're going to go. to the media and it's like the one the last thing that x or twitter wants is bad press you know they're terrified of that all right that is our show law guys charles tell people where to find you uh find me at you garles u g a r l-es on blue sky is basically the only place i post now um you can you can search for senator lemon goger that's probably easier and um and uh i have a new thing coming out with Patrick Cosmos and Elron Mexico soon. So keep your eyes out for that. When we drop it, we'll announce the details.

Charles actually, Chris, I'm going to tell you this. Charles was at a live show for Street Party. And one of the fans gave me a shank. Uh-huh. Like a shiv. Yeah, yeah. Gift. Which makes sense, knowing you.

And Charles made me throw it away because he said, I did not. I did not. Yeah, you did. Really? Yeah, yeah. You were like, you could get real jail time. I don't remember that at all. I remember the live show. I remember talking to you at the live show. I feel like someone else would have given you that advice. I would have told you to protect

yourself from your fans. Yeah. I mean, he's probably right also, though, that you would probably wasn't smart to be carrying a shiv around wherever. Like New York actually doesn't like there are anti-knife laws like folding knives and stuff. I'm not sure in recent years they may have. have finally undone them, but I'm not positive. But he, but like, like construction workers would get fucked all the time for like being caught with like work tools and the cops would like enhance charges and try out. Ryan has a literal corn switch blade that he uses. Do you have it with you right here?

Do you have it in front of you, Ryan? I was just playing with it. I can't find it. Well, let's, uh, we'll see y'all next week. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye.