Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 54 - Sword Guys with Alex Ptak

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

*I am in the process of trying to get the audio to sound better and this is my first crack at it, I have the regular version saved if this one sucks* This week we learned about the way of the blade with Sword Guys, what does battle ready mean? What happens when you look up "cool swords" on Amazon and what do these guys do with these swords? Alex Ptak (https://twitter.com/PtakTestKitchen) cohosts Quorators which I have guested on and it was fun There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and twitch.tv/murderxbryan  

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys. I'm your host, Brian, and my co-hosthost the mall ninja chris james what's up chris the mall ninja this is one of my favorite parts of the podcast i try to discern what that could possibly mean i guess uh somebody who like goes ninja mode with their swords but they're really doing it in the mall so they're kind of a poser is that kind of what it is i don't think you necessarily and i just realized this as i said it i called you the mall crawler're kind of a poser is that kind of what it is i don't think you necessarily and i just realized this as i said it i called you the mall crawler on the jeep episode so i'm mauling you all up here um but we yeah what are you a bear we have a guest this week from corridors alex patak what's up alex Thanks for having me, Brian and Chris.

Can't wait to see all these guys. Yeah. Listen, I do. I will say I hope to see some of them. I don't want to put pressure on you, Brian, but it would be nice. Sometimes we get posts. Sometimes we get videos. But I do feel like these sword guys, it's kind of cool if you can get a look at them.

I have pictures of swords. I didn't get the guys i i apologize for that but i do have pictures of swords which um i found by going to amazon and typing cool swords uh that is quite quite direct with it so okay so listen i will say we should this is a fun thing we do as we try to become a more professional podcast is we go through everyone's experience with swords and or sword guys. So I'll go first and say that I've never had a sword in my life. I find the idea preposterous. But I did used to prank call a blind lawyer in who lived in Indiana. And he was a massive sword enthusiast his name was Jim Lockwood and he would and that was what we pranked him about because he had swords up behind him

on the wall and I found out he actually got the swords from Disneyland so I think there's somewhat of a yeah were they in the shape of keys no they they were they weren't they were they but they there was nothing to say that they were disney themed but he told me i found out from the source so i don't know if there's like an overlap there but what about you alex do you have any experience with swords or sword guys so i was thinking about this this morning in preparation to discuss sword guys i've never had a sword and i've never known someone with a sword and i think the reason that is is that sword havers are usually homeowners because you put the sword on the wall as a talisman to criminals yes i'm so glad you said that i will say lockwood

owned his house and he put him up on the wall just like he said so it's yeah that's where they go and because if you're going to kill someone with a sword you have to fetch it from the wall that's sort of a ritual you have to do i know all these broke ass renters who can't be having a sword because they have nowhere to put it and the landlord will come in and be like you got to take the sword off yeah that's not you can't have that here also you gotta repaint now but this is crazy i went home for thanksgiving to see my mom and she was like go through this box i have in the basement you have to get your stuff out of my basement so i'm going through and it's mostly like papers i wrote in middle school and stuff and then randomly i find this box at the bottom uh that's like this kind

of unassuming just cardboard uh normal thing and i open it up and it's got like what looks like a wallet full of actual weapons grade ninja stars that i remember like in the back of my mind getting when i was like 11 when my dad went on a trip i was like i got you ninja stars and i was like i'm not gonna use these but i was like looking at they're the sharpest things i've ever touched oh god alex i gotta tell you uh and i gotta tell you guys that like some of the reviews for swords we're gonna read a little later on is people will give a bad review because the sword cuts them when they're taking it out of the bracket. Wow. That's what a sword is supposed to do. Well, I mean, I guess not cut you as you're taking it out, but I would say that might

be operator error. I'm not sure. Brian, do you have any experience with swords? Have you? You strike me as someone who could. No, I don't want to take this the wrong way, but you strike me as someone who could like swords. I want one now i'm i'm looking into getting one uh this probably next time i get paid or whatever but uh my experience

with swords is nothing none i do have a funny story that i was me and a bunch of friends were tripping on mushrooms and you know how sometimes when you're with a bunch of people other people will just take off you know and you got to try to find them because you're on stream so one of our friends left and he'd been gone for like i don't know two hours or something so we were like we got to go find this guy we go to his house he's laying in his bed he's like i think i'm okay now we're like what were you doing in there and he was like uh you know i kind of understand why people collect samurai swords and he is a very serious man but he didn't he didn't elaborate like a lot of the time yeah mushrooms is a lot of concepts without elaboration you either get it or you don't

yes exactly that's simple well preparing first-time guests to your collection this is off of i gotta get you the name of the forum that we're on a forum and i can't damn remember the name of it but uh it's like sword battle or some shit so here it is uh oh wait there it is sbg sword forum and the subject line is preparing first-time guests to your collection and this is from our shuch from november of last year just curious how other members approach having friends and guests entering your home for the first time with swords all over the place ah yes it's great that they sort of recognize that normal people are going to be put off by it like i'll give them that you know like then they're like okay this

is bizarre to most people so you know you have to sort of find a way to explain it to them this is why this is so interesting though have you done an episode on gun guys nah not yet i'm sure we will because this isn't swords are like they do look cool like i want to have one because it's just it's oh look it's like the movies in my house but at the same time it is like you forget like before guns came out like this is what people use to murder each other it's like a very serious thing to just have lying around. It's very, there's like, yeah, like having a piece of art on your wall that can chop someone's head off is a little bit fucking wild. These guys really do like take great pride in how sharp they are.

Like they get them. If it's not sharp enough, they sharpen it. You know, that's the whole thing. It has to be strong steel, you know, to it has to be strong steel you know like has to be the strong forged from the strongest steel it has to be as sharp as possible of course yeah if you're in a fucking sword battle and you fucking go to chop someone's head off and it just sort of you know hits the side of their neck and they're you know spurting a bit of blood but they're still coming at you you could get killed there's nothing more embarrassing nothing more

embarrassing than you go to chop someone's head off with your sword and it's too dull to chop it off. Just insisting to them as they murder you, I won. I hit you. I won. I saw a guy get mad at, this guy posted a picture of his sword collection on the wall.

And one of the guys was like, you do know that it's not tactically correct to have a sword he's like to have a sword pointing at the door that is like a threat to the people that are coming into your house it's not honorable oh come on man listen man listen you can you can be into swords you don't have to pretend that you're living in the 1300s or whatever hard truth like like yeah they're i guess listen i guess it's not entirely surprising that like sword enthusiasts are you know really into historical times and like fake ones by the way fake historical i try not to overemphasize it so as not to freak them out.

But I do get the sideways, quote, holy crap look from time to time, especially females. I do say assume it sharp because they are, and I display them outside of the scabbards. Wait, you're saying that females, females you know the group that is generally murdered by men you're saying that they're they're sort of more put off by your gigantic sword collection you can cut through them pretty quick chris i'm i'm put off by it too by the way like i am actually like if i went into a guy's house and he had a ton of swords and then he said hey by the way they're really sharp oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i would i mean yeah no listen i don't know that i would i think i if i came into someone my friend's house and they had a bunch of

swords i would look at them a little bit differently i don't know that i would be like scared in the moment but i would start like approaching conversations with them differently maybe in the future i'm i'm gonna add a little bit of more to this that i think you guys are gonna find interesting i do think it's interesting how people can have a gun collection and visitors don't think twice other than you may be some nra nut but you have a collection of swords and you're a wacko i want to say okay hang on sorry i think that if you go into someone's house and they have like a huge gun collection i think people feel the same way hide those you know what i mean you legally have to i believe i'm just going by the men in black but they're usually behind a folding wall

yeah i always feel like gun guys know that it has to be hidden like they they always have like uh in the back of my closet you know i have a safe with my guns like this i guess i mean there's open carry so i guess i'm incorrect some places you would have to like in canada where i am you have to have them in a gun safe so you don't have you can't have no no no no no oh my my why would you lock your guns up chris and you can't get them fast yeah yeah andy the bar bar andy the barbarian that's his name oh replies and says i don't have swords all over the place hell i don't want to think i'm a wacko and then in parentheses he goes i am but they shouldn't think i am he he he cool

well it's a lot a lot more difficult to sneak up on them if they know. Take a Tam says, to be honest, even as an enthusiast of historical weapons and armor, I would find it a bit cringe if I visited someone in a small apartment or a house with a big collection of repros displayed in a prominent place. If you have a house, this is crazy. If you have a house, you can either keep it somewhere away from your guests eyes or keep it displayed in a separate hobby room. It's then up to you to offer your guests to see it. If it comes up in a conversation, it would be cool. It would be cooler this way. If it's a lot of stuff, and especially if displayed without good taste and a central location of your house where it is impossible

not to notice that, then I would feel something to be a bit quote off. I say it as a hobbyist myself. So I imagine people who are not would judge in a harsher way. In general, if a hobby becomes an identity, things become a bit embarrassing. Don't ask me how I know how. That is the fucking guys. That's the unified theory of guys. You know what I mean? I want to ask so badly. I mean, I agree with that person, though, in general, that I think that it's like, hey, yeah.

I mean, put it in a different area don't like right when you walk into your home you don't need to have your giant sword collection displayed all over the place you know that's that's how i feel this is about the very validated here like i you know aspirationally we'd all love to have a sword room yeah we're on a certain level of trust you can show them the sword room you can't open the door and see a sword. It's too scary. It's like pointing the blade towards them. And I think it's funny that we're thinking of it as scary.

These guys are thinking they don't want people to see it because they'll look like a dork. The word cringe was used. This one's great. Curious Mansion. And we learned about this. we saw a lot of this on the guitar guy show actually i've known a few ladies who had problems with purses and shoes and they get all skirted judgment by stuffing their collections in their closet so women love

yes yes this is important to remember if in guy in the guy's universe is that, oh, okay, so maybe I have 900 guitars and or 1,000 swords, and we spent so much money on them, but you ever think about all your fucking shoes? And what about your cooking products? I'm trying to get some more misogyny. And they like to do a lot of you know what about your shoes what the funniest one we have was on the guitar episode when he said

how come you have so many hair straighteners hair straighteners that is a weird one you only need more than two of those that's what we're i think it was incorrect that i think he wasn't saying it like it wasn't even anecdotal. He was just sort of saying, like, this is what you should say to them. I think he has a misunderstanding of how many hair straighteners a woman would use. Well, this guy cash on hair straighteners. This guy made hundreds. Sorry. Sorry.

I got to stop interrupting you, Brian. It's your birthday. Yeah. Well, don't say that. It dates the episode. And also be careful with interrupting brian sometimes people will get really mad at you about it and they'll post about it in the discord and the patreon it'll make you feel quite bad it's hard on the internet

it's okay it's like that matt irish says it's like the news reports on the quote gun nut he had four rifles five handguns and a thousand rounds of ammo in his basement i'm like uh a thousand sheesh that's nothing that's barely a good saturday at the range my collection lines my awesome that is awesome this guy has guns and swords you know the people that like society in general decided are like psychotic i consider them to be very tame compared to me that's a very cool thing to say my collection lines my second floor home slash office den walls one coffee table book in the living room at some point i might have a couple antiques in the formal living room but that'll be it. Almost everybody but my 13-year-old nephew,

who fought with foam swords and Viking shields in the backyard on Thanksgiving, think the swords are nuts. Wow, must be pretty advanced for his age. Yeah, so you're saying that the only person who sees eye to eye with you on this is a literal child who doesn't have a full and complete understanding of the world yet yeah honestly if i was like 13 years old and i knew somebody who had like 40 swords

in every room of their house i'd be like this guy guess it he's the only one who's on the level i mean i think this the kid how old did they say how old was 13 okay he's playing with foam swords in the bat in the backyard yeah that is weird for that age that doesn't really seem like that's what i was doing when i was 13 i don't know well here's our last guy giving advice lancelot chan says i don't display and don't let people come and uh the original poster goes goes uh posted a video of a hermit, like from a hermit sketch, right? And then the guy replies and goes, come to think about it. Do you let people handle your loaded guns that are not locked and put on the wall everywhere? Easy to access and shoot randomly? I certainly don't. Thus, I don't display and I don't let people even come close. So this, to me, is a guy saying that he has the swords in case there's some sort of a home invasion, which is crazy.

He's a sword operator. It's his dark secret. This is how you do it. Yeah, for self-defense. He uses them for self-defense. But also, he just has a lot of respect for the danger of the sword maybe more so he's like you need to respect the sword it's incredibly sharp you know so you can't just be having it out there it's a weapon you know the sword is the last thing you'll ever see

here's uh here's a one from the sword forum the guy says i want a real samurai sword this guy's kind of me you guys are gonna oh, that's very Brian. I want a real samurai sword. When I say, quote, real, I do not mean one that is modern made using same methods that is carbon steel, regardless of the quality. I mean one that was created during the samurai era and some possibility it could have been carried by a samurai yeah i know expensive and it has to have documentation documentation that can be trusted and verified i'm not looking for a historically important piece those would be cost prohibitive just one that is authentic they're all they're all it just needs they're all gonna be 600 years old they're all gonna be cost prohibitive are you kidding me like

the idea like oh this was just a run-of-the-mill samurai sword used by a real samurai in the samurai era. It's a hundred bucks. You get a hundred bucks, take it off my hands. It's not the shogun's sword. It's a run-of-the-mill $2 million sword. Yeah, it's not. I get all excited about it.

One that a guy got for christmas but didn't want it and so he just kind of left it like a samurai like a samurai got it for christmas in the time that he never really used it like he had it he held it but he was like it wasn't his favorite one no i have my own sword that i'm using he goes i'm not looking for uh so he goes i'm going to be in japan next spring that's a good start. That's a good place to go. My better half is Japanese, and we're visiting family. I plan to try and visit some sword shops, but I suspect there are more such swords in the U.S. than in Japan.

Can you imagine his wife's family just rolling their fucking collective eyes at this guy i'm just a little sword hunting for a real samurai sword they're all like oh yeah sure we'll see you at dinner man by the way those are definitely illegal have fun he goes my requirements are easy pre-1850 oh okay that's easy that's easy it's generous that's generous must have verifiable documentation oh yeah easy to come by easy to come by samurai swords yeah because there were people in 1849 that were putting documentation with it everyone could write and it was beautiful he goes will not overpay in parentheses he says if i can get appraisal no fatal flaws and here we go

a known swordsmith better if original owner is known but not a deal breaker if owner not known so uh this needs to be made by a famous swordsmith from pre-1850 million dollars at least maybe we are sounding ignorant here is this could i wonder is this a thing that even exists at all like are or are all of these things in a museum somewhere or like do you know what i mean like is this something is there some sort of black market for old samurai swords from the samurai era i think just guys have them you know like i i'm sure there are some i will say that maybe overestimating the amount of swords that were around before 1850 by the way because making a sword takes time now we can have a machine do it in a half hour but yeah but back then i understand about getting swords out of japan i know one needs to have

them inspected and permitted for cultural importance i don't expect anything i could afford would fall in that category any suggestions on how i should go about this japan or the u.s this is great because i'd love to hear the suggestion yeah i didn't even cut because there weren't any they were like you're not going to get that it's too expensive yeah that's what we said yeah yeah yeah yeah our stuff here let's take a look at amazon where i went and searched cool swords i'm gonna share a picture of a sword here i think you guys are gonna think this is a cool sword i'm really here we go and this is our first cool sword oh yep it's called it's from a, I believe the company is called Zombie Apocalypse or something. And it's called the Guardian Sword.

And it has a sheath. That looks like the sharpest thing I've ever seen. Well, here's the problem. It's $32.99. So is that going to be like a samurai era? Like, is that going to be forged from like, what are we talking? What are they making that out of? Isn't that a plastic sword, though?

No, it's not. It is a real sword. We'll read some reviews of it, actually. Barrick says, indeed. One star indeed. Great. Full freaking tang stainless steel. I'm impressed by these kinds of things i'm ready

for the apocalypse if you're thinking about buying this well all you gotta do is the following accu sharpen it and replace the handle grip then you got yourself a great weed whacker plus don't try to hurt anyone with this unless they're a zombie then yes kill that fucking zombie. So, yeah, they get real, they kind of get very like, because the thing you're buying is supposed to kill stuff. It's incredibly deadly to have around. Just to reiterate every seven minutes on this thing.

Well, I saw a guy's, yesterday I was reading the thing and the guy was like, I like to, I don't use it. Cause you know, if you live in like on land you use a machete because you can cut down weeds and shit like that with it it's not that weird and then the guy is like well i don't really use a machete i use this broadsword that i bought and it's like you're outside swinging a sword at the uh power works my bad yeah sam says power rangers this sword is unpractical has a chintzy style and is very juvenile oh really what hey what do you know the 33 sword you bought has a chintzy style this is the greatest thing that we've just i think doing this show there's a thing with me right is that for a number of years i spent a lot more money than i needed to

spend because i bought the cheapest version of a thing and then it would break and then i go buy the cheapest version of a thing again instead of buying the best one and then it'll last a little bit longer you know when you say the best one you mean the most expensive yeah yeah the most expensive one i get the most expensive one and uh so that's only i just that is only that's not true with everything i don't think most things well it is for swords for swords i would say it is more important than ever for swords how embarrassed would you be if you were the forge master reading this one star review oh well here's a two star here's a here's a one star from sam he goes uh powering oh no way reaper the reaper is the guy's name two stars and the subject line is cheap sword. Yeah, I know.

That could be the title of it. It's $33. I wasn't expecting much since the price tag is fairly low. But I was at least fairly. Unbelievably so. He's found cheaper swords than that. I want to say also this was actually and if you read some of the comment we'll have one of the one of the reviews that this is actually was for a period of time a 16 sword that cost 15 to ship and that like they raised the price so the shipping is is cheaper but people were very mad about getting charged for shipping on a 16 sword and uh he goes i wasn't expecting

much since the price tag is fairly low but i was at least expecting it to be able to go in the case right right out of the box i cut myself taking out because the tip of it is too sharp that cut right through the sheath this morning it is a sword yeah i love the guys that cut my thingy i mean i put my fucking finger right on the fucking blade next thing i know i've got a cut on my finger i mean he said the tip is too sharp the tip is too sharp It's like a fucking knife or a sword or something. I've been really stuck on keyblades since you brought up Disney swords at the beginning. And I think the split of like sword owners who just wish they had a giant key they could hit you with is probably like 50-50. He goes, this is a dull blade with an overly sharp tip and very cheap case it is purely for decoration the only reason i'm giving it two instead of zero is because i like the way it looks on my wall unsheathed i have a question he said it's purely for what uh it's a decoration so what else would a sword be for murder murder killing a person like

like i don't know what what other function i guess like you said you could use it in place of a like uh you know to a bushwhacking or whatever you know but like what practical application does a sword have other than murder and display impressing women yeah i know but that's this that's display or you're either doing that by displaying it or murdering someone with it so that's still going back to the same thing so yeah i think that really every single sword you buy if you're not planning to murder somebody is only good for display because you wouldn't even i guess you could it would be so psychotic to see but i guess you could go like hunt with swords oh no no no no they never did that brian you also can't do it like not even in the time before guns they didn't do that they use bow and arrows and they use uh you know spears

and stuff like that it's just not practical because those fuckers are too fast man yeah they're way too fast and also the ones that aren't too fast uh you know that you could they're gonna kill you that you know you don't want to be in a close combat situation with a fucking bear even if you have a sword i'm trying to be generous and give them reasons to have a sword but i'm not i'm only really coming up with decoration and kill a guy yeah you know if i do have to fight a bear a sword i'm not going to turn down a sword oh no i'll take it over my bare hands but i would i would say that if i if you were going to say hey you're going to get in this ring with this bear and fight it and you got an option of different weapons sword would be low on the

list you know i would want something that i could keep my distance from the bear you know okay so you're camping and you're just having a run of the mill bear experience. Uh-oh, there's a bear. Aren't you glad you brought your sword with you everywhere? Yeah, I am. And I guess I have encountered a bear when I can't. I mean, it's happened to me before. I, of course, I had bear spray.

So that made me. Oh, that's good too. That's good. But a sword. Better than a sword. It's a little better than a sword yeah sort of just encourages the bear to kill you really yeah it could anger the bear especially if it's like one of these fucking things ain't even that sharp except for on the tip of it you know yeah it's a stabbing blade yeah it's a stabbing like i'm thinking and i guess this isn't true because when a big bear

gets shot attacking people it also just keeps attacking so it depends where it gets shot yeah but i don't think you can plunge the blade into its heart you'd have to be quite a sword smith yeah it's our jam man gave it two reviews. Two stars. Two stars. 30 shipping fee, aviod, A-V-I-O-D. He goes, I got this when it was $16. I thought it was a good price. But then after two weeks to get here, they throw on a $30 shipping. What the hell, Amazon? I need to talk to an Amazon employee about this.

Very unhappy. Otherwise, good product, handle material is cheap and will fall off come untied after really using it after sharpening sounds good sounds like a good like so you said you like that he's a great tactical blade is how he ends it looks like a good tactical blade it's green at parts i like yeah that's i think what he's referring to it has that bright green sort of tactical color i'm sorry by the way you get you can't complain about 16 if you're sword collecting i don't care if it's double the price it just doesn't matter yeah here's our next sword it's called the snake eyes and i oh yes dude here we go so this one that we're looking at right now it looks like it it's two little daggers that have red blades and then a

lot longer red bladed sword was ridiculous yeah it says snake eye full tang tactical blade katana slash ninja sword slash machete slash throwing knife 27 inch so this is for the ninja that doesn't want to blend in too well that's true that's a good point yeah visible from a far distance you want to make sure that somebody sees the blade from a long way away now i would say this would be more what i'd be looking for if i was in my bear battle yeah it's mall ninja that's why i called you a mall ninja couple of fucking throwing knives there blades exactly well let's read the bear's eyes one for each eye let's read a review or two here this is a 29.99 sort you can get on prime today delivering oh shit i'm getting this right now you could you could first uh first one i think

you guys are gonna really like this review it's from justin and he says beijing biden special um oh can we can we see it or no can we see the i'll show you what his what his picture is of the sword yeah yeah i'd love to see what the sword looks like just well he doesn't show you the whole sword so this is the picture you get and it's like a really shitty looking weld yeah and it's black yeah it's not red it's not like the red one that the one um he goes horrible and dangerous do not waste your money they are oh hang on hang on sorry i'm sorry to cut you off but horrible and dangerous does it because you want it to be dangerous right like it's good if it's dangerous i love reading this too with the with the biden stuff and it's a 30 people found this helpful

because uh they're not full tang made in biden's favorite country bought seven of them few for practice etc tape them up for practicing i clashed two of these together while i was training and they both broke there's a horrible he was training somebody you were training with someone right you didn't have one in each hand smashing them together they will not survive a clash now i will say this guy is not a great consumer. He's not the best because you can't just go out and get seven of them off the bat. I mean, check the quality on one first. I mean, this is overnight shipping.

Just get the one, see if it's good, and then order the rest of them. Some might say that's the Brian method of buying things, the maximum amount of money you can spend. I clashed to it. There is a horrible weld job underneath the handle where they broke, both broke, use these for light training purposes only can be dangerous. And I'm thankful I did not hurt myself.

So it sounds like though, like I just, I don't know. I just, I feel like if it was better quality you'd have a better chance of hurting yourself like i just i think they're all one star this is a sword here's our next sword from amazon searching cool swords and uh it this is one i think you guys are gonna really like this is from the hanshu store this looks like more of a classic sword that i'm familiar with it's got the black handle it's got the silver blade it has a black sheath is that what they call those yeah yeah

i would expect an executive to have this sword yeah well and it's 137.99 and that makes me feel a bit better you know there is that weird thing especially with swords i would not be spending under 100 i want the price to be a little higher so i can see some quality you know it's got to survive a clash yes we got a five star review from k barker all right it's a very nice sword for decoration cosplay playing around like the look very much i really like this sword i think it looks as good as a samurai sword i have i like the dual-sided sharpness it looks like a medieval knight sword just with smaller guard and flat on the lower bottom of the blade it came with a plastic wrap and oil on the blade it is sharpened but not razor sharp but this kind of blade is not

meant to be i was able to cut a large cucumber very easy with it i bet oh i'm sorry okay well we just came we just got a new reason for owning a sword. Remember, we only had display and killing. Cutting a cucumber is on there now. My cabinets are far away. That's important to understand. Yeah, my kitchen counter, I can't get right up against it when I do my cutting. There is a ravine. I need three feet.

There's a ravine between the kitchen floor and my counters it's so good i cut a large cucumber very easy with it the guard does seem the slightest loose and i think if you really hit something hard with it it would possibly come loose but other than that i love it which that's a that's a wild one like if i hit something with it it could come loose and that seems like the worst possible situation when you're swinging a sword really hard but she's not she's cosplaying i guess cosplay like just as but in that case it doesn't matter it only matters what it looks like sure when you're doing like the cosplay because i just realized that too you will see people

cosplaying as like whatever you know some medieval thing or something and they have a sword but then yeah the quality wouldn't matter at all just the look another case of light training only yes yeah yeah marcus aurelius says awesome blade really the marcus aurelius it's just the did you keep look click on his profile see if it's a real thing cleopatra is it is awesome blade it's a great sword sturdy but flexible sharp but not enough for my liking but that's an easy fix balance is very good and weight is perfect for me anyway and I like the modern spin on an old design can't beat it for the price I definitely recommend this blade I have some very high dollar swords and i will put this next to them in the case okay so this is this makes sense to me because we've been examining

16 swords but i think 130 is still like pretty cheap for yes yeah so it's like a good cheap sword yeah this is like a good like one that seems it has like good star reviews throughout are you just picking out no i i have a cup i have a two star too okay but this is generally a pretty well reviewed sword people tend to like the soka yeah jamie talavera says great looking sword you can say great sword and i would agree it's really not like any sword in history and it's really not that much of a katana so i would call this thing a great sword because very long awesome and two hands feels right the handle is a modern katana look and tactical a curved pommel like an axe so this is just really cool enjoy it this is the sword of our generation it just listen we just fucking enjoy the moment like just take a moment to fucking

just let all the stuff peel away and just appreciate that this is the sword of our moment and we are here with the sword. I love this. Live, laugh, sword. You know? Stab life. Stab, laugh, love.

I think it's funny that he ends it with, this is the sword of our generation yeah i love that this is the sword of our generation the sword yeah honestly i like i was like yeah i was at the mall in the food court the other day i must have seen this sort of hundred times with the youth uh this guy's just amazon customer goes at five star review and goes worth way more than asking price i bought this sword based off of a gut feeling oh well yeah someone stabbed me with it when they got with it i knew it was a good sword i love how these guys talk the way that they write is nobody else has been like this at all this is this is the

first one where they have their sort of own way of talking that is very strange samurai are encouraged to do poetry brian yeah it goes in their amazon reviews i was pleasantly surprised when the sword arrived it was well beyond my expectations i intended on it being a display piece only after feeling its heft and well-made appearance i tested it out very sharp and cut everything i threw at it now it's my go-to weapon when the zombies get here my oh yeah see that's another because we that was something before right a zombie like there is sort of a lot of them do be do seem to be considering the possibility of zombies a lot of like the doomsday preppers who like aren't as good at making friends as the

normal doomsday like literally anything like there are a hundred ways that doomsday can happen you know and this is like one of the only ways it's not going to well i kind of find it interesting that we talk about like doomsday and about like the zombie apocalypse and it's like sometimes i'll walk around i'll be at like the food court at the mall or whatever and i'll see the youths on their phone and i'll think is it already happening are we are we smack dab in the middle of this thing already well here's something interesting he goes my poor spear now just collects dust i just love this oh fuck spear envy that's brutal the spear is just like come on man yeah naginata heads are mad here's our last review from eric he goes uh not a fighting blade very disappointed in this the blade is not sharp it is also very wide at the edge. This means it would take a long time to put a proper edge on it.

Should be listed as a showpiece only. By the way, they all should be. That's what they are. Yeah. I think don't, wouldn't they, don't they like legally have to be listed that way? Like, I mean, I, again, I don't understand and legalities are different in Canada and America, but like, aren't you, I mean, I, again, I don't understand. And the legalities are different in Canada and America, but like,

aren't you, you, I guess you can, you could just sell deadly weapons because knives technically are too. Right. The violence of the 20th century. Aren't we ready to put down the blade? Yeah. Such a, and listen, getting shot is bad too, but it is a lot more gruesome to have guys running around with swords.

Like, I think in the United States, though, with the guns the way they are, they're just like, what's the difference between it? I mean, we don't have swords. I do think throwing stars are still illegal. They're so dangerous. All of the sides are sharp. I can't emphasize it enough oh they're illegal and yet you have them in your possession well my mother has them in her oh and what's her name and how do i report her to the authority we will be listing her address in the episode notes

let's go to reddit uh our swords this guy goes so so, Tritemo23 says, so, I just got a katana and like an idiot, I cut a lemon and now there's a stain. Is there a chance of saving it or not? Wait, wait. Oh, hang on a second. See, I'm confused by this. My lack of knowledge is showing through here. It's stained

with lemon? Yeah. But lemon doesn't even seem like you know what i mean like i don't know that i've ever like cut something and seen like yellow on the nut right like it's no citrus citrus will fuck you up i mean it does something to like the steel or whatever he didn't post a picture yeah okay. This one drinks. It drinks blood. It drinks lemon. You have to wipe it on grass. I see.

This guy goes, people do a bunch of jokes. And then. I like it. Can we hear some of them? You want to hear? I mean, if the lemon hasn't hit the floor, I wouldn't say you could still use it. Five second rule. Consider using it to make a lemon pepper chicken or perhaps salmon.

We're having fun here our original poster comes back and goes is there any way to get rid of the katana stain he's like listen guys it's all i appreciate the jokes but can we uh can we take this post a little more seriously this thread brought to you by lemon squad carter p flies says put lemon juice everywhere so it's even you wouldn't want to waste the rest of the lemon now would you so that is that's a suggestion but also kind of a joke too but also a suggestion and i can see some sword guy like really doing that you know what i mean just like like bathing it in lemon juice so it all changes color but i don't know what it does it might also

make it a worse sword so that way it stings when it hits you. That's brutal. Yeah. Somebody with a sword. And then they also like, just as they're dying, as you're cutting their head off, they're also getting lemon juice, like in the,

Oh, ow. And then you're dead. Disastrous heat. Nine, four, two, five says,

I just noticed it's anime blade. By the way, I can't find the picture of the blade. I don't know where he found it. It must have been a post. But he goes, to be honest, outside of neutralizing the acid from the lemon juice, I don't think you want to attempt to correct this. Even if you mask off the blue completely, whatever you do will ruin the fake ham on unless you're prepared to bring the entire edge to a mirror polish count your losses learn from your mistake and move on so so i'm assuming this sword is also

like bright red like the other one we were looking at he didn't have a picture at all like i was really i don't know where they saw the picture the next reddit one we have wait for that guy i do have a suggestion for him you say that you ruined your sword uh by cutting a lemon i have a suggestion for you have you ever heard of the concept of hari kari i think you should you brought shame to yourself you brought shame to your fucking sword household that you should fucking die now if your great yo sees this you got a great sword but if somebody comes in your house and sees the lemon stain on it they're gonna think you're an idiot by the way you should have cut a big cucumber oh buddy cucumber

i mean i would be going watermelon that's the classic one you know absolutely crunchy roll anime says absolute best place to buy a battle ready katana i want a battle battle ready amazon.com battle ready what true alex yeah just hang on a second though i so maybe i don't know enough about zombies either because they're mentioned the zombies why do they want swords for zombies you have to cut their heads off yeah yeah or cave them in you know so you you can't shoot a zombie it won't kill it blow its brain up it's okay but like it what if you shoot it and then it's only a little and because zombies are like they're not that well it depends on what zombies were talking about it like right but generally speaking traditionally zombies are just kind of like easy to kill you know what i mean they're not like super so you

could get close enough to them to chop their heads off we gotta hit the brain and if you shoot them i can't believe i'm talking about this if you shoot them and it's harder to hit the brain than it is to just brain them with a sword you know yeah yeah this guy goes this guy goes uh i want a katana but can't seem to find a good high quality battle ready katana any website or such to look for a good one that i'd like would be gratefully greatly appreciated by the way my budget is between two hundred dollars and ten thousand dollars that's a pretty so you're fine you can get one no hang on say it's between two it's interesting to say i usually you just say you're my budget is ten thousand dollars you know like that's the highest but he's saying like it is i can go as high as ten thousand

but god i'd love to only spend 200 get away with 200 i'd like to keep 9800 yeah it is almost like saying like i will never pay less than 200 but i'll pay 10 like if somebody was like i because we just looked at 137 sword that was pretty impressive and that's under 200 so i guess he just he don't want that but that's there again like i was saying like i was saying earlier that like you do want to have the price it was sort of is a little indicative of quality sometimes so i understand where he's coming from i want it at least to be a $200 sword. Here's some goofing here for everybody. MonkeyTale29 says, man, you got 10 grand to spend on a sword?

That's impressive. And then the original poster comes back and says, only because I'm spending my life savings, LMFAO, edit. And no, I'm not kidding. Oh. Okay, so you've spent your life saving money and now you've decided the best way to spend it is on a

battle ready katana I respect the hell out of you it's your retirement plan this is part of my retirement I need the sword I have a sword I hope he has a wife as well. You know, I hope he doesn't have a wife.

The sword is the retirement plan. I mean, I will. There's nothing I we love. I mean, the whiskey guys was the best one. But yeah, the idea of we love wives who are like just put in this awful situation where they're married to some fucking freak who's spending ten thousand dollars on a battle ready katana what do you imagine imagine how nervous this guy would make you with this reply from the our swords and it's ogre with iron club is the guy's name he goes why though planning on committing some sort of sword attack thing and it's like damn if the sword guys are saying that to you that is

yeah that's like yeah genuinely i wish this was guys are saying that to you, that is. Yeah, that's like, yeah, genuinely. I wish this was asked more often. That's a great question. Like, why do you need a battle ready sword? Does he respond? He goes, ha ha. L.M.F.A.O. You mean seppuku?

Nah, I'm just a diehard sword collector looking for a katana to use after I finish training with it. And no, I'm not training to kill anyone or anything with it just for fun what is the train they never explain what the fucking training is nobody well you learn how to sword fight like there's sword training obviously but then yeah it does like you say why does it have to be battle ready like i i don't understand i guess i guess he just wants the legitimate real one like in terms of training i am picturing like captain america's like situation room where a bunch of robots pop out of the walls and shoot bullets at you and you cut them up like that's the least

lethal option it doesn't it's really weird because i don't know what the training is for are i didn't see this and i probably should have looked it up i know there's fencing but they don't use samurai swords so like is it something like does there like a ninja cutting competition yeah i know i'm sure that there is yeah like sword like but you don't use a real sword for it i know i know yeah yeah, after this guy gets made fun of a bunch of posts, this guy comes back. And now we're going to see a schism in the sword world. He goes, this comment section is perfect example of why it's hard to actually find a high quality katana. Why does it seem like all the katana experts just want to write out these big essays questioning

every little stupid detail and trying to flex their sword knowledge instead of just answering the fucking question no one cares you know the japanese name for every part of the sword just answer the question so i i've been meaning to ask you about this brian have you found a big east versus west divide in the forums no no i think they're all like very respectful uh yeah these online forums it's never regional it is all has to do with somebody misspeaking or just somebody disagreeing on like a fundamental aspect of the culture that they're involved in but But I do want to say that the schism in the community is a lot of sword guys

hate katana guys. Because they're familiar. But they're the best ones. What is a katana? What's the difference between it? I think katana guys probably get a bad rep because it's like the anime sword

and it's like, it's friggin meme where you fold it 200 times and it takes like years to forge. And oh, I see. OK, yeah, here's a katana. I got some pictures of katanas that I can show you. This is what a katana is. Oh, damn, that's cool. So it's just a war sword i think it's just a sword that they used in war in the past and i don't even think they really used it uh a guy does call reply and says have

you considered a 250 shotgun it's like bro kill yourself come around asking where to buy a sword on the sword reddit hey you come on this sword reddit asking where to buy a sword fucking loser this sword forum is reminding me a lot of my experience using youtube with a small channel here's my comments do you value decorated weapons or condemn them oh hang on Is there not a middle ground? I condemn them. You have to either value them or condemn them? I'm indifferent. Is that okay?

You're either on board or you're not, Chris. I'm against them. I'm against them, by the way. Oh, just like a weapon that has to... I think that I value them because, in my, like just from films I've seen and stuff. No, honestly, when I watch movies of samurais, oftentimes they'll have like a decorated sword. You know, they'll have some decoration to show that it's their sword. And I kind of respect that.

But it's like this is my unique sword that I use to kill people. This is something I really wanted to get in this episode. sword that i used to kill people this is something i really wanted to get in this episode and uh it is something that so the there's a conversation about whether you would want this sword that is decorated and it's like some people are like oh you know it's not made for fighting so no and then other people are like it doesn't have to be made for fighting it can just be art like the mona lisa and like a lot of stuff but this guy comes in with some real information. Insect external 1403 says, take an executioner sword. If you bought an antique, you have bought a sword that was once used to execute criminals.

If you bought an antique 100 years in the future, which was just a reproduction made today, it would have the history behind it of beheading criminals. It wouldn't be the same as owning the real thing. Swords just aren't social symbol anymore. They also aren't used in day-to-day life unless you consider any machete as a sword. Swords made today are better off focusing on performance over look. There are exceptions, and Regnier produces some beautiful Zweihanders, which are battle ready, for lack of a better term,

but are still pretty to look at with their bare metal components, given nice twists, curves and other simple shapes of the metal for visual appeal. Those would be an example of a good modern decorated sword. Or would that be ornamentation? I don't know. They look pretty, but you could probably chop not too thick trees with them. So this guy says if you have an executioner sword, it's an antique and it's very nice. And it might have killed a guy. So that is something that makes the sword way better to him. That's good.

You want that, I guess. Here's a guy that says, Antiques not only worth something when they have workmanship, the provenance of history plays into this. Maybe some sword was carried by a person of national importance, and during a time of conflict where they lead people to success or failure. I'm not looking for those. I just want to run in the mill. That's going to be too high price point-wise.

run-of-the-mill i don't want that's gonna be too high price point wise i would say an executioner's sword's got to be on the low end right because it's like a foul murder sword he says a sword made today of strictly equal craftsmanship has no bearing on history did elon musk commission it or commissioned by a family member of some wealthy illicit somali pirates there will be more value in a hundred years don't bring pirates into this it's a different kind of pirate also don't what elon mutt oh because he's like the most famous guy he's a rich guy yeah because he's rich but it's like well if you got a sword made in 1730 guess who commissioned it just some like a very fluffy hat yeah it's the same thing well we're going to quora now because you know alex does corridors where they look at quora

and and and talk about it and uh this is the first quora question i found what is your opinion on swords i'm gonna say i'm for him i wouldn't mind having one i feel like chris i think getting the sword would be just as satisfying as the coin right because it's it's heavy have you seen this before have you seen this before alex this coin what's your coin brian so i'm so lucky i got no no don't don't tell him just just show him the just show him don't cover up the like name on it or whatever oh okay i understand this immediately yeah you know what you do because of the name right yeah it's the name otherwise that's not fair brian i told you cover the name up i wanted him to see if he could tell who that individual was on the coin because it's kevin smith yeah well

anyway so brian signed up he signed up for the kevin smith patreon and one of the things that you get is a challenge the only thing you get is a challenge coin you don't even post content on there 15 minutes every four or five days yeah he puts up a 15 minute thing of him just like you know he's like talking into his phone or something for 15 minutes after breakfast and charging people more money but yeah brian got this challenge coin brian has a a real problem with uh doing an episode and then like being like oh look at these idiots and then he like just gets into it himself and such one of you the magic trick thing is the most evil thing that's ever happened to me well we've got've got, oh, oh, can I say? They sent me my money back, Chris, but they didn't send me the magic trick.

Well, guess what, my friend? I have an update for you. And this is, listen, this is, this is, I have it right here. It came from clownantics.com. I'm not joking. 10 hours ago, I got an email from Sheila, who's a customer service rep there. It says, hi, Brian. They think I'm Brian because I told them I'm not joking. 10 hours ago, I got an email from Sheila, who's a customer service rep there. It says, hi, Brian. They think I'm Brian because I told them I'm Brian.

We would like to let you know that new stock has arrived. We are sending out the replacement package today. Priority shipping, and you should receive it in the next few days. I'm going to have a magic trick. Yes. So just to be clear what happened alex he ordered a magic trick from clown antics.com magic fingers the little light up fingers you know i used to sell those at the fucking toys r us in college incredible so so he ordered those and instead

of sending him those they sent him a bald, which is incredibly funny because he's bald. He's bald already and they sent him a bald cap. So it's just so funny. So he was so mad about it. I found the cell phone number of the CEO of ClownAntics.com and I phoned him and I explained the situation and we got it resolved. He got it because they were going to make him send back the bald cap and all this nonsense all

rigmarole so we got it all sorted so shout out clown antics.com they are in our good books we like clown antics.com yeah i mean we're not like we're not doing an ad for them you don't have to because they didn't pay us well chris i i do want to say you didn't explain why i wanted the magic trick and and the reason you want to become a magician i'm going to become a magician and the normal reason you can't get the good tricks until you have tricks you need to order some tricks online then you bring them into the magic shop and you start showcasing your stuff then the magic shop owner brings you into the back and he shows you the real tricks to cost like eleven hundred dollars yeah you get a pharaoh's tomb exactly and it's and oftentimes it's not even like a lot of equipment

it's just like literally teaching you how to do the trick they like yeah a pdf file that like tells you how to do the trick and it costs thousands of dollars i feel very included that the one trick you're getting in the mail is the only one I know about. Well, this is the first trick. The next trick is going to be making something disappear, I think. But I'm going to wait until I master the magic fingers first. You're not ready. I'll tell you, he's going to make his damn bank balance disappear. That'll be his next trick.

Steve Taylor. Hang on, hang on. I think the reason we're talking about this is because you were mentioning that you are actually considering buying a sword is that true I mean that sword was 137 dollars dude and sorry are you saying that that's good or bad like I don't understand what you're why that comparatively it's pretty good it's pretty good so okay so you're considering buying that 130 dollars I just want to feel how how it feels in your hand you can't afford not to get it thank you how serious are we here are we like bill murray challenge coin serious or what are we talking like are you really gonna make this purchase do i need to talk to you after the

recording i mean i'm looking into i i really want to buy that 137 sword and it is honestly we're recording this on my birthday so i should just do it as a treat for myself um okay brian you know what brian go ahead buy the sword man okay i'm gonna get the sword i love how heavy the sword is so anyway on quora this guy goes what's your opinion on swords steve taylor replies swords rock that's what i said unless your opponent has armor and then they suck the longer swords are great as general purpose weapons normally footmen would favor slightly heavier ones to generate force and cavalry would favor lighter curved ones as the horse provides the force for you

still my favorite weapon though by the way i mean come on that's not your your favorite weapon weapon is a sword yes i did let it go five or six times this episode i just had to do it for the flub heads and now they've been i've been getting a lot of pushback alex i don't know if you're familiar brian's one of the most epic flubbers in the whole world there's an entire subculture of people called flub heads who every time he makes a flub they chant flub flub flub flub flub and they hit the table um they've been getting mad at me about the amount of flubs that i've been letting go lately and i just want to comment i mentioned this in the discord but if i were to pick out every single one it would become the whole podcast

yeah it's for the sake of time i understand reppingppin though instead of weapon he just called it a reppin everyone let's get that going in the um i mean bill murphy is it's never gonna get better than bill murphy he said he called bill murray bill murphy i think it's a better name i do too i do too alexander marbella says i like swords they definitely have they definitely have a cool factor about them oh yeah they've got that cool factor buddy buddy i love the the like that sort of idea that you think because they do think they're cool they don't recognize that everyone else thinks they're the opposite of cool they're still like they got that cool factor it's still all those unarmored people waiting around questioning you. Mostly due to their history of status and mythological symbols.

The reason this happened is because they were expensive, required a lot of training to use effectively, and had limited usage as their strictly anti-personnel weapon that has no practical alternative use outside of combat. Neither do guns of course a watermelon in a house guns do guns have hunting okay well that's animal personnel yeah but it's different it is i am i'm very stuck on that one scene from the matrix where morpheus destroys the 18 wheeler with a sword but i guess you'd probably the amount of training seems hard oh yeah and i've never seen the matrix i'm the one of the biggest movie fans in the history of the world and i've never watched the film ever in my entire life that's a fun fact about me i'm gonna give you a call after we do and tell you the whole plot and all the spoilers i mean i know what at all because you know what i mean it's like hard

to not know all the stuff that happened at this point of course they could be put to cultural or entertainment use but you can't really hunt with them like you can with a bow or use them to cut or chop things like you can knives and axes yep i really think they're misunderstood though they're never used properly in film or tv though that makes sense since film and tv are not meant to be real. The public also knows very little about how to use them. Hang on a second. That's kind of a cool thought about films. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I will watch them sometimes.

I'm like, what the fuck is... Oh, yeah, that's right. This isn't meant to be an accurate representation of reality. Oh, it's my magic screen that sends me lies. Will you forgive TV for misrepresenting swords misrepresenting swords is so fun and and when he says misrepresenting it's like how gun guys will be like don't shoot you don't shoot sideways that's stupid but they do it and they're like why do they do it in movies it's like because it looks cool it's really cool to everybody else other than you it looks really cool so i think the

priority when showcasing swords in a movie is looking cool not trying to kill the other guy yeah i guess to be clear if you are going to own a sword from listening to this podcast do not attack an 18 wheeler it is not safe it's one of the most dangerous targets. It'll run you over easily before you've even got it two or three cuts in. Here's a great question. Here's a great Quora question for you. What would a sword made with modern science and technology be like? They do that.

Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about? Read the forum. Go to the Reddit. I'm pissed off. Go to Amazon and type cool swords and you'll see guy goes uh this guy's brutal that he and he goes wrong question it should have been phrased what is a sword made with modern stuff like because today thousands of swords are made with modern

materials and methods many more than ever in history. Modern steel is amazing for two main reasons, variety and consistency. You want a specific hardness? No problem. You want a specific amount of flexibility? No problem. Experts will pick just the right steel for you. Historically, that wasn't the case. All this folding business was mostly done to remove impurities and distribute the carbon evenly throughout the blade. Modern mono steel is completely pure and strictly adhered to the standards specified for its type. So he goes on to explain, even a sword that you can get for as little as 100 bucks will outperform any ancient blade. This is what I love about Quora is you'll go on you'll ask the question do you like swords

someone be like can i tell you about the industrial revolution it's so big for us gone are the days when you had to pay a fortune for a battle-ready weapon modern technology makes it possible to mass-produce swords a medieval king would have killed for the steel is cheap because of sophisticated mining and smelting processes and the sword production is even cheaper in comparison because of the great machinery that is now available so yeah he goes of course you can still find really expensive swords that are handmade by expert smiths but those are art pieces made for collectors and not for battle clashing a piece like that against another sword would be like using a picasso painting as toilet paper do not clash from this episode is somewhere not meant

to clash but he goes uh but any cheap regular toilet paper bought in a supermarket does a better job in the cleaning business so he did say that if you wiped your ass with a picasso it wouldn't be as good as modern toilet paper pretty good metaphor we've all tried it i gotta say though it kind of does you know what i mean like that's like taking this thing it's like oh yeah it's this beautiful piece of art but it's not going to do a better job wiping your ass than some cheap fucking modern maybe it's the best we've ever had the best like uh uh yeah that's a good metaphor i i gotta give it up for that yeah it's like wiping your ass with a picasso i like that here is uh do people still use swords i got news for you yes they do we just found out over the past hour we're not sure what for but they do use them

well he says i i casually compete with swords i also run a children's program where we play and fight with special foam swords i use a gladius in lieu of a machete when i do yard work or go trailblazing that's crazy i'm sorry yard work or when i go trailblazing so that's what we talked about yeah like so people do there are people who are out there using a sword in place of a machete which is you can't do that i guess adios is like closer to machete size than a katana which is like four feet long yeah uh and so the only time i would honestly recommend a sword as a weapon is this you feel you need protection you're willing to carry a 20 to 26 inch short sword longer blades are super impractical for quick response or tight

quarters but you want something that's going to outrate outrange a knife uh due to expense or choice you cannot or will not carry a gun. You're willing to put real time and effort into learning to use the tool. Get ready for a year of stances before anything works for you. You're engaging aggressors that are within 20 inches, not already holding a gun, and you are not seriously outnumbered. A sword could two versus one unarmed opponents possibly three if you're very skilled so you could take on three guys if you're more

goblins yeah yeah oh god you see that's the thing people don't think about with zombies and goblins they're easier to kill goblins are in caves you need a smaller weapon yes you can easily kill three guys with a sword because i've seen a lot of sword fights before and where it's like one guy with a sword and it's up against a number of guys and it makes it easier because they'll come at you one by one you know you get the first one and you kill them in the second one so you can probably do 10 20 yeah that's why you run the stances yeah oh yeah you go if you have the stances yeah if you have the stances what are the benefits of a sword asks is the next question we have and ryan answers the answers are quite amusing they're not wrong by any means i assume the inquirer is asking what

are the benefits of a sword over non other non-firearm weapons i think the main benefits are one small enough to carry on you hence the term sidearm which by the way you can't carry a sword on you you know a 26 inch a short one a 20 to 26 inch or you could yeah just a 20 just the size of half your leg down your leg yeah i mean you're that i did read a bunch of people goofing on guys that put the thing on their back damn that's cool i know that's the fucking thing it's like swords are cool in movies because they don't use them to cut lemons or fucking cucumbers if you are actually somebody who uses a sword in battle to kill your enemies that is cool but it's just not something that exists

i'm thinking of how quickly you are murdered with the sword on your back because the first thing you do is reach both arms behind your head your whole body is stabbable you want it to be large enough to be an effective weapon in a civilian context uh unarmored for the average person as compared to a dagger which is still useful but too small easier to anyone with one of these you were going to jail so fast i mean way if it's self-defense even like you can get away with it with a gun but like with a sword it's just people be like you're a fucking savage dude like you're like quickly thinking about this in advance yes it is every sword murder is premeditated because it's all

they think about i mean they do that with guns too you know um all right we're gonna do one last one from quora here and the guy goes were swords considered quote cool back in the day? Okay, I think they were. I would imagine. Gennady Belotservosky says, while the first and most important function of the swords was to be a weapon, since men had to wear it as part of their clothing, it became a decoration as well. First of all, I don't think men had to wear it

as part of their clothing. No, no, no, no, no, they did. Just in a sense of what this is you know if you were like out you had to have it on you for protection so you're having to be wearing it all the time is what they're saying and therefore you would want it to look good and and look cool or whatever what if you come across your father at a crossroads and you have a confrontation that just feels to me like the same kind of like that's like king arthur type stuff like where guys were walking around with swords and there were dragons and stuff i feel like it's

just as realistic and like nobody had swords back then that is the question though no no in the past were they cool hang on though people did have swords i think like if you're talking about in japan during those okay you know i think did have swords i i like if you're talking about in japan during those times you know i think did have swords i i think that it was something and that people would walk around wearing but again i could be wrong i i know nothing about history well several several curious customs come from the habit of wearing swords in social situation for example the reason you offer a lady your right hand is the sword hanging on your left side that would tangle in her skirts. We've all wondered about this.

I would never know that. Also remember that in many countries, in medieval times, only nobility was allowed to wear a sword in peacetime. That in itself made the swords look cool, as nobility was a subject of envy so uh people like noble people and uh well we got through the sword stuff i think sword guys is going to be an extremely guys plus thing because the stuff i found like i found this stuff like really easily yeah yeah no this is these these people are i think they're ripe for mockery no doubt about it you know what i mean the idea of carrying around this futile weapon and trying looking for battle ready weapons to buy is very funny the odds of you mocking someone with a sword and

then that person turning out to be in the wrong are very high yes it's a pretty safe bet yeah i mean a battle ready is such an odd word to say like i think like the gun guys figured it out really well when they started saying tactical because battle ready is essentially tactical but it doesn't seem yeah you don't say the word you don't say the word battle you know so you're like you're not making it so clear how delusional you are you know i guess i do a stand-up joke about this but you would think from watching all these cartoons and stuff when you're a child that there's way more battling going on

when you're an adult, and it is illegal. You are not allowed to do it. It's a crime. Did you do stand-up? Yeah, I've done stand-up for 10 years. I do a little bit of stand-up comedy myself. I don't know if I've mentioned it on the podcast before, but I do a little bit of

stand-up every where where are you based out of i'm in brooklyn i think it's the second coolest thing about me other than my interest in swords let me tell you something brooklyn as far as i'm concerned pretty good place to do stand-up comedy man i could talk to you a lot about that the different clubs and stuff like that oh we're starting a new episode we got stand-up comedy guys let's go not yet not yet that'll happen it'll be a terrible week for you forum wise i know i know i used to hang out on stand-up forum so like i used to can i just tell you a quick funny stand-up forum there was this old stand-up forum in toronto that's a city in canada um it was a toronto stand-up forum from there and the all the these people these comedians started posting up

that there was that has anybody else been offered a xbox uh in order to make videos of their feet for this uh famous comedian and it kicked off this incredible 1600 uh reply thread about how this one comedian had pretended to be an exec producer for tv shows and he promised xboxes to new comics if they mail comics if they sent uh videos of them squashing things with their feet so uh that's kind of a fun thing to end the episode with uh alex where can people check you out i wonder if i could name this guy um uh i'm focusing okay yeah please uh if you're looking for blades check out blade hyphen city.com i follow their twitter account there's some cool swords on there. That sounds like all ninja stuff to me.

I'm sorry. It is. It's full of. Okay. So this is, again, this is going to be plugs for you, not for sword related.

Right. Got it. For more of me, you should go to youtube.com and check out the core Raiders podcast. We go on Quora. It's now season three. We've been fired for truth. We're now trying to do themes to the episodes like on this show. It is. It's now season three. We've been fired for truth. We're now trying to do themes to

the episodes like on this show. It's different, but it's similar. There are guys there and we read their addresses and where they went to high school. I was on it and it was very fun. That's why we went Quora heavy on this one.

We will see you next week. I'm not going to tell you what the next week's show is because i uh don't know i uh you know yeah i know yeah all right uh let me uh goodbye everybody go to patreon.com slash murder x brian and and you can get our bonus shows reach your round table which might be over by now and uh guys plus which is where we make fun of guys and a cool thing maybe we'll drop that patreon at the beginning of the episode instead of the very last thing you say oh it won't be the last thing i say because then you could go to twitch.tv slash murder x brian on sunday nights

at eight o'clock and me and chris will be there probably watching opie or swingers and probably that's another thing we should mention earlier because i did mention some comments on the patreon and discord of people saying i have no idea where to watch the sunday night streams all right we'll do it at the beginning of the show from here on out from from right now from february 20th all right we'll see y'all next week goodbye