Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 55 - Travel Guys with Joe Kwaczala

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

We had comedian Joe Kwaczala on to talk about travel guys, before you yell at me for not talking enough about points, it was so fucking impossible to understand what these guys were talking about so we decided that it would be better to stream it but I did get some credit card talk and ettiquette and some of my own shit obviously You can find everything Joe does at https://linktr.ee/joe.kwaczala but you better listen to his album http://800pgr.lnk.to/Kwaczala There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/murderxbryan twitter.com/murderxbryan and twitch.tv/murderxbryan  

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. I am Brian, my co-host, never wears his shoes in first class chris james what's up chris hey what's going on um well i just want to say i've only ever been in first class once in my entire life you probably took your shoes off like a piece of shit well i think you just outed yourself as an elitist right there and i do believe you are flying first class uh you did that's woke though that's something i'm doing on the way to california it's like a class war thing my smelly ass is gonna be in first class can i say though that i did the one time i ever went first class it was from florida or toronto

one of the places i was it was when my mom lived in the bahamas and the only reason was because it was her ticket and then she like couldn't use it or whatever and i used it to go home so i it was not purchased for me but i got to sit in one of those pods you know what i mean where you like lay down and you can like sleep and shit and oh it was fucking awesome i will say no bot no pod for me just a nice seat on an american airlines flight from chicago to la so it's not so it's like executive but it's like the it's not the real top of the line one it's as top of the line as you can get but let's get the guest on here okay we got joe quazala what's up joe hey what's up, guys? Not too much.

Brian, give it up. He's literally pumping his fist in the air right now about pronouncing the name correctly. You can't do that. I'm doing real... If there was a board behind me that said Days pronounced the name correctly, I would be

way back in earlier in the year yeah it's been a while since lising would probably be the last one i fucked up which was in december december yeah i was gonna say earlier in the year doesn't really mean that much when it's still january that's a good point too but i count years as in years you know 365 days ago that was a year apparently to me i got you so we're talking about traveling guys and uh i get i i don't i'm not a traveling guy because i've never used points i i don't know how to use points i have rewards on a credit card that i have no clue how to use that like that even you don't even know how to use points. I have rewards on a credit card that I have.

No clue how to use that. You don't even know how to use the bathroom facilities on an airplane. That's how little of a traveler you are. I mean, Joe, listen, you're a stand-up comedian. I mean, you guys are fucking notorious for your traveling. Now, do you travel quite a bit you know yeah it kind of comes and goes but yeah you know i i you know the last year i i think i probably it was like maybe once a month i was traveling somewhere for some reason you know maybe like 12 total but it's

uh yeah and you know it can be a lot more that's for i haven't been touring a lot lately but when i was it was like a several several times a month so did you you you were going through a period though where you were like doing the full-on like middle america playing clubs and stuff like that and touring around so you were like a touring stand-up community you were a traveling stand-up yeah for honestly it was it was a window right after my comedy central special came out which was at the end of 2019 and it lasted for some reason until march 2020 and then things dried up i don't i don't know i you just did you just kind of lose it or something you just kind of lost the famous video famous video of me going off on the laugh factory stage and i don't

know uh why i've seen that video before it's uh yeah it's an alarming video i thought it was electric but uh you know people online didn't really agree with it but no i mean so that it was that period and i've never quite recaptured the magic of that time, but it was like a few times going to like, you know, driving to Vegas or like flying to Detroit or going to New York. Did you get good at it? Did you feel like you ever sort of mastered it? You know, those like big time travel, we're going to meet some of them today.

But do you feel like you mastered it at any point where you're like, okay, I got this. I know when to show up at the airport. I know this and that. Or was it always fly by night i want to also add on i want to compound on that question did you find out if you liked it because i i've been doing it for years i hate it i fucking hate flying and traveling hey i you know i am very lucky that i fall asleep on every flight i've ever been on beautiful that really helps a lot i never do and i am so fucking envious of people who fall asleep i i don't think i've ever slept on a plane before in my entire life yeah i don't even i was on a plane i started sweating

really bad yeah joe i don't know if we really want to get into this but he started sweating so badly and then his crotch got so sweaty that he went into the bathroom this is recent and he went to the bathroom and he ripped the crotch out of his fucking underwear or his like compression shorts yeah wait because it was it was so soaked that it was, like, ready to tear? It was just so hot in that plane that I was willing to do anything. Right. This was intentional. You were like, I need a new source of air into my crotch. So you ripped it open.

I did. In order to get ventilation for his crotch, which was getting too hot and sweaty. Now, I'm sorry to say, Brian, you gotta put away your glowing thumb thing. Oh, I'm a magician. I'm doing magic. And I'm not even calling attention to the magic that I do.

No, Brian, it's incredibly distracting. It's literally... Can you please put it away, Brian? You can't do the podcast with your fucking thumb lit up. For the listener, it is a pulsating, glowing attachment to a thumb. I'm sure they know. They know what it is.

It was a big thing where we had to buy it, and they sent him a bald cap by accident, even though he's already bald. And I had to contact the owner of ClownAntics.com to get them to send it out. So everyone knows all about i'm assuming the bald cap was not also glowing and pulsating was no i wish it was pretty funny because he's completely bald yeah i guess that's his actual head if god's bald cap yeah so i never i i traveled

i did the touring thing for i I think three years about, right? Like, so I had started out doing one date at a time and then we found out. And then he got into the lifestyle and it was fucking two or three dates in a night. So we started to figure out like, you can't really make a lot of money flying to one place doing one show and then going home that was like not so we would have to do like five five dates and i kind of did like the whole country and the thing that happened with me after that like three years was like it used to be so magical to get on an airplane and like go somewhere and spend time in another city. And then like once you've been to four cities, you're like, they're all the same.

Like all the cities are exactly the same. There's your hot ones, your beach ones, your cold ones, and your dry ones. Yeah, they're all basically the same. Yeah, you pretty much summed it up. Yeah, I would have to like, yeah, you'd go to you go to these places and I don't want to like hang out. There's nothing like you said, there's really nothing exactly to do. And so I would I had a rule with myself that I would not play my Nintendo Switch unless I was on the road. And so that gave me like something to look forward to.

I would bring it and then, you know, play it in the hotel room during the day and then go to the club at night. Yeah, that's very smart because it's like, yeah, you're obviously isolated. I know this too. I don't know if you know, Joe, but I don't talk about it very often, but I myself am a stand-up comedian. What?

I live in Canada. Anyways, I live in Canada. So it's like a little bit different but i know the idea of being out on the road you are so isolated you go to this small town sometimes and and you know there's you know nobody there you have nothing to do and having a nintendo switch to just play and lose yourself in that's actually brilliant traveling as far as i'm concerned and having it to look forward to as well. So it's kind of a treat.

Brilliant traveling. They also, I mean, for comedians, and I can only speak for Columbus, but they send you to a mall here. It's not like the comedian isn't going to come to Columbus, Ohio and be in the coolest part of the city. The comedian is going right to the mall. And unless they rented a car and then googled stuff

and tried to figure out where things are happening they're hanging out at a fucking mall all week yeah it's not a nice mall it's like a strip mall right no it's a decent mall it is i go there sometimes to get legos because the lego store is there two lego stores there to tell you the truth that's the thing i one time there was a point where i was going to this one lego store and i was like man they don't have the same kind of stock that i would come to expect from a lego store and then a guy was like oh there's another lego store right around the corner this is actually embarrassing for me you know what i mean because it's like i'm like joe's like oh you're friends with this guy like he thinks i'm friends with you so i went to the i basically for this episode i went to the subreddits of airlines and our travel and um i did some hotel stuff too now i could not find a rental car

subreddit and i hate renting a car so i was like ready to just pick a bunch of guys having the worst time ever renting a car and make fun of because that's the worst part of travel is renting a car you never you don't know if they're gonna let you have it or not when you get to the counter it's always a problem yeah i mean you avoided then you avoid it you know i i really it sucks yeah i never rented a car i've never rented one in my life i don't drive so that's well the main reason i want to rent i gotta rent one but then what am i gonna do with it show it off yeah take it to the parking lot when other people are coming to their car be like this one's nice huh i got like a mid side they're just like a chevrolet ifrolet. Not like a really nice car or anything.

A Nylantra. And you're like, hey, you know. They're really pushing. For a little bit. They're really pushing Teslas now at all of the places. But, like, I'm so stupid. I, like, don't know how the power works on those things. And I don't want to be, like, driving around looking for a place to plug in my car.

Which sounds like a 50-year- old man thing to say about electric cars. But I just couldn't figure it out. So I was like, I'll just take the plane gas. Yeah, I mean, it is. It is. It's not a 50 year old man thing to say. I would say the technology has yet to catch up with, you know, the amount of electric cars that are out there. So the charging stations are not as at least around where I live.

There's not enough of them where it actually can become an issue sometimes, you know, here's a guy that's an asshole. His name is spider Nolan. He's on our slash Delta says, use your words. Is there a reason someone cannot use words if they are inside the, my seat inside the, my seat. So this guy's saying I'm sitting in the aisle and somebody's, this is a person that's sitting in the window. He goes, I'm sitting on the aisle. I know they're coming. I didn't buckle, but I swear 95% of the time they just grunt or point. Why can't someone use their words like we were taught as toddlers?

Pardon me. I have the window or excuse me would be a vast improvement over what i usually get which is some guttural noise thanks for letting me vent but you know what they mean right it's the issue here you know what they're pointing at the seat they're making a noise you recognize it that's what communication is that's what you want decorum good old-fashioned decorum see i'm focused on communication when i should be worried about decorum everybody's dressed their absolute worst feels their absolute their crotches are all sweating and we're not here for talking and to be honest with you that's a big pet peeve of mine why don't people dress up to go on planes anymore we'll talk a bit about that i'm sure that's coming up i'm sure that's coming up pool snark says if a guy is in the aisle i

always say sorry i bet you were hoping for a swedish bikini model okay so that's very cool because that's like that lets them know listen we're in for some fucking good conversation we're gonna riff my man we're gonna riff and we're gonna fucking and i'll conversation. We're going to riff, my man. We're going to riff and we're going to fucking. And I'll tell you what, I got a lot of jokes and a lot. And they're all from the early 1990s. My reference level of Swedish bikini model. Swedish bikini model. That's just the beginning, baby.

Swedish. Like, I haven't heard. Like, I know, like, when I was younger, people talked a lot about Swedish babes. But I haven't heard them i know like when i was younger people talked a lot about swedish babes but i haven't heard them referenced in a long time swedish bikini the last time i can think of swedish bikini team is on the uh dumb and dumber at the end of the movie don't the swedish bikini team come and that's like 1994 1994 when that film came out. I think that's the last time that was like something that people talked about. And when was this post made? 21 minutes before I got it.

Oh, so today. Yeah, yesterday. Conclusively say 30 years since it's a number. Okay, cool. Well, OJNB says, I just apologize to to him every time i'm sorry you have to deal with me for three hours or i'm not trapped in here with you you're trapped in here with me oh my god can you imagine some you're about this fucking going a five-hour flight and some guys like trapped in here with me like fuck man like the fact that honestly i i just thought about it and i honestly feel like

the people who just point and grunt they're actually doing a better thing they're the best they're the best because they're sort of saying hey you don't have to talk to me we don't have to have a talking sort of communicative flight here we can do our own thing you know these other people who are like you're gonna have to deal with me and the swedish fucking bottle i would be like oh fuck me hey can i get a seat change like i'd be immediately looking for a seat change swedish bikini team would would really bum me out like i'd be so like is this guy gonna watch porno on this plane is he horny yeah i didn't even think of that right as he brought erotica is he brought erotica is he gonna talk to me a lot about the mile high club

oh no yes yes he is yeah rack and roll says i don't fly for the conversation if the aisle seat holder is paying attention and aware i will get their attention with a head nod and our point to let them know i'm in the window seat and we can do the dance to shuffle in what really grinds my gears are those aisle holders who are buckled in and settled when the place the plane is still less than 50 loaded then i'm the end convenience to them like their body language is saying can't you see i'm settled in here have some awareness so yeah so you guys got another buckle in and like these listen man i get i get it it's all you know we have our gripes or whatever but like really like the person gave you bad body language like did they let you in you got to sit down right

like is this really worth typing out on the internet? Once again, I will bring up Decorum. Yes. The body language expert. The body language guy. We should just do a whole episode on body language, guys, because they misread body language all the fucking time. Everything is aggressive. Yeah, of course, because people use different body language based on, you know what I mean like everyone's like my

body language me doing something might mean something completely different than joe doing the same thing right there are a million factors like how you were raised where you were raised like when like they're yeah it's completely uh it's it's a bullshit science but it is very funny when you see someone especially when they're like breaking down like a political debate or something they're like take take a look at how trump is leaning to the left that means he thinks he has dominance so if you're just like shut the fuck up yeah like his fucking leg is sore or something you know like yeah it's but you're you're so right it's the decorum thing where these see these probably people seem like classic guys, kind of maybe older people who are like, let's show a little decorum on here.

If you're going to find you, I'll accept you wearing your fucking PJ pants, but let's show a little decorum otherwise. Well, this person I like, Unique Bumblebee, I think this is more of a me. He goes, I don't need to talk to you. I have headphones on and a simple point to the seat will do i don't exist to make you happy so that kind of goes off the rails in the last sentence i don't have to do shit to make anyone feel good ever listen i was with you in the beginning but yeah i mean we're all it's kind of all our responsibility to you know make things livable for everyone around. Bobby, you're like, OK, all right. All right.

Well, this guy late binding goes, your title is both offensive and counterproductive. To your point, quote, use your words has become the toxic battle cry of whining activists ever since they start. So this guy's political. Kind of with him but then it was like oh he's fucking and i bet a socialist with you're like wait well hold on what do you know this is an airplane man this is non-partisan he goes the battle cry of whining activists ever since they started yelling that at the police when blockading freeways wait what now we're talking about the 2020 just out of curiosity how how fast usually on on your podcast do you get to someone being like it's woke well it depends on the people it depends on the people certain guys, there's more of a, you know, but yeah. Or guys, we had the guy that said Biden, Chinese Biden swords.

And you're just like, what are you talking about swords? But also, I disagree with you generally. I don't want a conversation with the other passengers. Or if I do, it's been long established by then. Literally, the only reason I expect, if I'm closer to the aisle than them for them to stand up is for them to exit the row. And the only time I expect to interact with them is when a flight attendant is giving something food or taking something empty food containers. This is being considerate and aware. No words are necessary or warranted i'm not understanding why you want additional interaction so there is a continuum we're we're dealing with here there's

the person who wants to be the swedish bikini team that sucks but then there's this guy who obviously has some issues with with people i don't want that either. You know, I don't want, uh, I didn't talk to you, so don't talk to me. I don't mind that. I don't mind any reason why they're not talking to me as long as they can, cause I'm not going to find out cause they're not going to talk to me to tell me so they can have whatever political leanings inside their head or whatever awful ideas or whatever, as long as they stay quiet and don't bother me. That's a, that's an ideal person to sit beside. Here's a person that thinks location academic and I go, give them your number and they'll text you. The art of talking to

people is sadly dying. Oh, that's... Joe, that's a commentary. That's sort of like, well, oh, if you want somebody to answer you, you gotta freaking get their number and text them because that's the only way it gets down. Everybody's on their phones. You probably gotta send them your freaking instagram yeah you probably gotta

give them an instagram tag or something even uh look at you in the eyes you have to look at your profile picture on tiktok i don't know if you guys are watching a lot of uh zombie movies but i got this theory that uh the zombie apocalypse has already happened it's happening all the time with the kids and their phones. I think I have mentioned that six or seven times on the podcast so far. He goes,

they're intimidated by the face-to-face or even picking up the phone. I remember they taught us in school things like how to write a check and how to sew a button. I think we should have a class. How to write a check? A 95- a button i think we should have a how to write a check but also like listen that's true but like so i had to write a check my landlord needed post-dated checks i figured it out it's pretty self-explanatory i don't know that you need a

class on writing a check it sort of tells you where to write all the stuff. You're not going to graduate without your check class and your sew a button. I'm going to go to this class where we write a check and sew a button. I mean, sewing definitely is worthwhile. I don't know how to sew. My partner does.

Arielle does, and she can fix things using sewing, so that's good. But writing a check i think you just you just need you just know that well and the the final sentence of this is this is how you know this guy's a nightmare i think we should just have a class just for conversation and i'm not saying chit chat conversations with a purpose wait that's the last thing i want on a chat is like the that's my where i'm gonna max out just kind of like hey how's it going like uh you know it's really coming down or whatever i don't want to be like who's your god you don't want deep you don't want to have like a deep meaningful

conversation with a stranger that you met on a plane but joe that's the problem i mean i look at you how old are you you know you're you're you're part of this generation that doesn't even like to talk if if you were grew up and you had a class an actual class you went to every day for two hours and they just had you have conversations with other people and maybe it'd be more well uh equipped for this you get busted for like talking about the weather like they take points off yeah yeah ask their sexuality it's big talk only please sexuality and how they know that they feel that way please when did they first realize what they were attracted to this person uh the

guy goes uh so the our angry guy goes that has nothing to do with this we're crammed into a very noisy machine next to people we didn't choose generally while wearing noise canceling headphones there's a time for talk and a time for action this is the time for action oh hang on is that a terrorist yeah this is a little kind of situation are you hijacking the plane stand up and let me get to my seat by the way stand up take out the box cutter uh yeah this is a time for action this is no time for words action only that listen i i do agree with that person though in the sense that like now what you're saying isn't true people don't know how to talk to you maybe that's true but this is not a place where you should be having interactions.

You know, like, I don't think that old, like back in the day when people were better at conversations, I still think on the plane, you just want to relax. You know, it's so stressful. Everything about planes is stressful. Chris, you were, you saw me, we were doing shows to get caught up before i went to alaska and all i did was have panic attacks for like two weeks thinking about going through tsa like going through tsa gets me crazy and i have pre-check and everything and then you it turns out you had nothing to worry about because all that happened was that you got so sick on the plane on the way home that one of

the um flight attendants at made you go sit beside the fucking bathroom because it seemed like you're gonna shit so bad yep that's that's true joe he they actually like they were concerned for him because of how he looked on the plane is this another sweating i'd ask to be yeah this is the same trip but it's on the way home oh yeah on the way there i ripped the crotch out of the pants on the way home i got sweaty and had to take the world's largest duke but anyway location academic ruin the he ruined the flight for everybody like i like i'm not i'm not exaggerating like i do a lot of exaggeration on here but like he actually ruined a bunch of travelers' flights with his dookie.

If you talk to my wife, she'd be like, he was gone for an hour. I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if he was in trouble or anything because I just got up and left. So the final comment on this is from Location Academic, and he goes, okay, grunter too. Oh, shit. Looks like goes, okay, grunter. Oh, shit.

Looks like we found ourselves a grunter. This guy loves to grunt. Yeah. I would say ultimately on this particular situation, I fall personally, I am like,

I would probably do the, I would say words. I would be like, hey, I'm probably say words. I would be like, hey, I'm here. Or maybe I'd be able to stop halfway through because they would nod and acknowledge that they know, obviously, what I'm saying. But it's not ever going to be a thing where I'm like, one, I'm never going to be like, I know how to talk. On the other situation, I'm not going to be like like you know i know how to i know how to talk and at the other thing on the other situation i'm not going to be like hello there fellow traveler for now we are partners in the sky for life

it's gonna fall somewhere in between we're like yeah i i get the idea of being like yeah you could you can vocalize with something but you don't have to have a full conversation yeah yeah for me i think probably like in that particular situation if i saw a person they were sitting there and i was in like the window and they were in the aisle and i walked up and they were kind of like not noticing or whatever i had to get their attention i would probably say like hey man i'm sorry you probably were hoping it was going to be like a sw bikini model or something. And then he would laugh. And then he would ask me, oh, what club

are you performing at? Because he'd know then that I'm a professional comedian. And then we'd just go from there. Let's take a look at an Alaska Airlines issue, which I just flew recently and was very hot on the plane and the seats were terrible.

Okay, that's... Don't try to put any of your issues off on Alaska Air. I don't know much about your traveling, but all I know so far is hot on the plane does not seem to be...

No, and also, the dookie is not... I mean, this guy's a famous big duker i mean he's destroyed many a toilets in his life i'm not joking for a long time he was unable to shit at his own house he had to actually go when i travel i have to take a week and go to the convention center to poop yeah he poos at a convention center when he comes back because his poos are too big for a standard toilet and he will clog up his own toilet now he's fixed that problem you should at home now right brian i do but i'm going to la in a month so guess what is gonna happen when i get back it's convention center time so he goes to the convention center and shits there but yeah

you brian you can't please don't try to blame any of your flight. It's the crappiest airline. So he goes, okay, is there some unspoken rule regarding the amount of drinks you can get from the drink cart at a time? I'm currently on a six hour Alaska flight after a two and a half hour Alaska flight. And both flights, I have been shunned after asking for more than one drink at a time i always get a diet coke it goes great with the biscoff i also it pairs well with the biscoff what a sommelier yeah this guy's this guy's these people think they're so fucking fancy you know what i mean like they're like fucking wearing their three piece

suit and like you know they're a cracker into a fucking like fuck is your problem eating a bisque off with a knife and fork do you have a knife and fork do you have a knife and fork and I would like a glass with some I'd like it on the rocks if I could

my diet coke yeah so okay let's hear i'm excited about this i always get a water because of course traveling and dc are both dehydrating for some reason on these flights i have felt like such a bitch for ordering two drinks at once like how dare i order more than one the attendance won't look me in the eye and when i say thank you they don't respond am i missing something i have never felt this way i asked for water for my partner after he ordered wine and one attendant laughed and said sure and didn't give him water what's going on am i not supposed to get more than

one beverage anymore so okay so i have this is interesting because i don't know that there is a steadfast rule on there because i've definitely asked for two beverages and gotten it. No problem. Um, you know, same sort of thing. I got a pop and a water or whatever. It seems to me like though, that's like, buddy, just like one fucking flight attendant was having like a bad day or something. It didn't look at him and didn't give him like a smiley face or whatever.

So he's like, yeah, what's going on all of a sudden i'm some fucking he said the b word i don't like to even say i'm all of a sudden some kind of b word here because i want to order two days no man it's fine they gave them to you again they gave them to you right they gave them to him yeah and alaska airlines like like the flights are all long right because it takes three hours to get to seattle from alaska and i didn't find that they were a pain in the ass about drinks but this is also from four days ago and alaska airlines is kind of having a time right now they had a bunch of flights get canceled and i think that i think the flight attendants are just stressed as fuck man you know they're probably working overtime because the side of a plane flew off in the middle of a

thing and a lot of their planes grounded and stuff like that you know but brian i mean it doesn't doesn't cost you anything to give the customer a little smile i i think there's missing information here yeah like there's definitely stuff that there's an attitude or other stuff that this guy is doing that is causing this reaction and he's trying to apply it to all i simply did was ask for two drinks but i'm sure he was a major weirdo and some totally he said he was probably so rude or whatever he's just like hey are you gonna give me a big hard time if i want two drinks all right you know he was probably so rude or whatever he's just like hey are you gonna give me a big hard time if i want two drinks all right you know he was probably like he's aggressive yeah and then

and then she's just like trying to avoid eye contact because she's like intimidated and scared by his like yeah yeah i i think you're right i think that he's i think a lot of the times you you get that where someone's you know they're an unreliable narrator of their own story when they're posting on a forum looking for people to support them you know yeah yeah i mean i when you say i mean like that's the body language thing is or he gave me a look is so easy to misinterpret like it's easier people complain like about text right they're like i can't get across that i'm being sarcastic or i can't get across that i'm not being an asshole when i text because i put a period at the end of a sentence or something like that like like people are always worried about that that is what's more unreliable than that

is the he looked at me like i was an asshole you know what i mean yeah yeah you never know as well you're projecting a lot of the time and things like that and yeah there's there's a lot of things that go into it i mean definitely though i think there is something like there's just for people who are listening or saying i mean there is something to body like you know what i mean like you have that you can see like oh i can tell this person's upset by the way you know what i mean you have those things but i just think a lot of the times the people who are like the experts or whatever read way too deeply into certain things that don't actually mean anything well let's take a look let's take a look at our travel and a question asked was what was your

worst travel mistake now some of these are innocent like this guy goes my wife booked a hotel in the wrong country didn't find out till 7 p.m the night we were staying and i think this guy was probably a real pain in the ass when that happened but i'm not even gonna go into that uh grimy scorpio duffman says going with the wrong travel partner nothing worse than visiting someplace new and feeling like you missed out on doing what you wanted to because you were too busy catering to someone else's needs so that's a very specific yeah he's not been lucky in love it sounds like and it's like yeah i guess that is but it just doesn't sound like it's exactly what the poster's looking for you know

well here we go bumble town this is the reason i cut this out so he goes give me one second i need to grab something i'll be right back yeah actually should shut my door oh okay so everyone just oh no i won't shut my door no no go ahead shut it no i'll be here by myself oh no problem hey chris is here by himself, everyone. Fart, fart, fart, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, come, come, poo, poo, poo, fart. Are you saying fart and poop? I was saying as soon as you guys left, I immediately started repeating fart, poo, and come over and over again. Oh, I'll cut that out.

I apologize. Well, no, you won't. You don't even know how to edit. What time are we in here? I'll be honest with you. 34 minutes. I'll cut that out. Do not cut that out. I thought I could handle it on my own. I thought I would be able to deal

with it and do my own solo podcast, but I immediately lost my cool when you guys left, and I didn't know what to do. And I just started repeating fart and poo and cum. So I love this guy. Bumbletown says, yes, this did a national park trip to a mountain where six of us brought climbing stuff and had trails planned out all the planning at all the planning meetings. The last couple complained that they were getting blisters, just walking around on the flat walkways and just wanted to stay in the tent and smoke weed the entire time.

They complained every single day and did exactly nothing. They complained that we were abandoning them also. They also slipped drugs into our food. It was just. Hang on here. You get very delayed there that they went full fucking ari shafir mode there i mean that is for anyone who doesn't know ari shafir um dosed burt kreischer at his own home put uh molly in his drink and like when he didn't want to and it's just a it's it's just a hilarious

story just a hilarious goof to do when he's there with his family and his kids and he has to go on a plane. Hey, speaking of traveling, he had to go fly to a gig and he had no idea. And he also has a heart condition. And he was genuinely concerned that he was going to die from taking this particular drug. So very, very funny. I'm laughing. This guy, Ari. It's honestly the second funniest thing that've that i've ever heard of re uh doing

and the set the funniest thing is when he repeatedly beat up bobby lee who's five feet tall because bobby lee's friend cheated on uh or his girlfriend cheated on uh him with bobby lee's friend so anyways enough about our how much we love our yeah um but yeah that dosing putting drug i mean that's a real serious thing it doesn't really fall it's not really like the other things you said that's serious they're they drugged you yeah yeah so the guy goes uh so so the so he says uh my husband got very sunburned after whiting out after talking to them later what's whiting out i just looked that up we got it a white out or a whitey sometimes green out as a drug slang term when recreational drug user as a direct or indirect result of drug use begins to feel faint and

vomits okay but i know so i know greening out from marijuana but the whiting out is that from cocaine like is that from a white it's cannabis it's can whiting as perceived by the stoner subculture as the result of using too much cannabis within too short a period of time this is known as greening out and hypotension so we talked about we did a weed guys episode with chris lock recently and wait i have never greened out thank you very much yeah well brutally after talking to them later they were very out of shape and felt intimidated by our trip they agreed they would only do outdoor trips in the future if we were doing fishing they haven't agreed to come

again as we've only done kayak fishing trips and they have they have small children now so okay so that so that was just the idea of bringing the wrong people on a trip. Yeah. So having – I mean, listen, we've all – that can definitely happen. If you're with a group or whatever and there's somebody who is dragging everybody down, it's just a real wet blanket and isn't fucking vibing with everybody else. It is difficult. You've got to pick your travel partner

as well yeah yeah i i not not long ago a bunch of friends and i went to uh you know just like got an airbnb like an hour or so away just and we had a friend from out of town come in uh we were excited to see him we hadn't seen him in a while and he's just been kind of living in the middle of the country by himself uh and he was he was he's a he's a bit of a weird guy we love him but like we was just like it'd be fun to see him and like he wanted to visit blah blah blah um but he came and he he got so high um on so many different drugs there was one morning where a few of us came. He was sleeping on the couch kind of near the kitchen, and a few of us came down for coffee. We were trying to be quiet to not wake him up, and then we noticed he was lying down on the couch doing karate into the air. Just like go, just like go. just like just gonna go yeah yeah just like see and if you like backed up it was the perfect angle of you just see legs and arms yeah flying over the surface of the couch so he was it's

safe to say that he was like he was not on the same wavelength as everybody else that was there i think that is safe to say yeah that's always wild when you when you meet someone you haven't seen for a long time do you know what i mean people change a lot like you know i i've changed a lot and especially if you're like in a different place with different people you can become a different person in a lot of ways that you go meet up with them and you're like wait you're not the guy who i hung out with. Yeah, it's like, oh, there's been some lack of socialization. I have a picture to show you real quick. So no shoes in the first class shows no class.

And we got a picture of a guy which will be the cover of the episode. Yeah, he's got you guys have seen it if you look at it but if you're if you're just listening to it on the on the podcast app it's a guy who's got his feet like almost touching the the ceiling yeah like the head of the person behind him yeah i mean the shoes are off but also just the the the gall to put put your feet that high at the headrest of the seat in front of you shoes or not is is crazy i think it's arguably better to do with no shoes yeah yeah yeah rain down on the person in front of you yeah your shoe could i mean obviously your sock could be smelly or whatever from that classic you know foot odor but yeah i think a shoe could, I mean, obviously your sock could be smelly or whatever from that classic foot odor.

But yeah, I think a shoe could be dirty and nasty. I mean, I would do my shoes, but other people should not. Can I say, though, that... Put their shoes up on things. I'll tell you what you don't want to do, Joe. This is something. Do you go to any sex clubs ever? You know, not really.

Okay, so if you go... We tour a lot of sex clubs ever you know not really okay so if you go we we two are we tour a lot of sex clubs on our stream uh these guys tom and bunny from tom's trips tom from tom's trips is the different tom who then the tom who owns it everyone's named tom in the swinger community but anyways what you don't want to do is wear stilettos and walk up on the furniture is a big problem at sex clubs it tears the fabric is a big issue honestly it's rude and like if you're going to the swinger club you have to make sure you don't do that um it's it's mentioned a lot i i just wanted to say though i i do take my shoes off on the plane so you're not supposed to do that in first class let's take a look at some of the explanations uh well okay so this guy goes uh uh well let's go first guy goes where's the flight attendant when this is happening and then the uh original poster is like she walked

by and didn't say anything even got him a drink holy shit she did her job the next guy goes uh just because you can't afford for you can afford first class doesn't mean you are first class oh shit yeah the next guy replies and goes he got money but no sense oh we've just these people are just can i just say can i just say he wanted to say in that moment the correct phrase would be he's got a lot of dollars but he doesn't have any sense he went with he's got money but he doesn't have any sense it's not as good in my also wrote c-e-n-t-s i think you're supposed to put the you're supposed to spell it the other way. So maybe he wasn't even making that joke. Maybe we missed it completely.

Maybe he's saying something about his inability to make change for something. I'm not sure. But we do have somebody. I love that it is somehow the flight attendant's fault that this grown ass adult can't be a normal human being. i agree with

this because listen the guy's got his feet up on the thing he's obviously not following our rules like society's rules he doesn't really care about yeah who knows what happens when you talk to him and i understand you know i don't want him up there either but if you're doing that you have to think about the fact that and this person says I'm not saying it's the flight attendant's fault. I'm saying that the flight attendant is the entity to police this sort of thing. When I run a stop sign, it's not the police officer's fault that I did it, but it's his job to pull me over. Okay, pretty good reasoning on that. I respect that.

I love when they use logic i love logical posters on the board oh man they're so fucking powerful the powerful logic posters who are just like well that's kind of like this and they'll give you an example and then they nice analogy yeah you're done i get it now but is that is the person putting their feet like in the air are they breaking a rule i don't think so oh i think just an unspoken rule of society do you know what i mean like can it can it be enforced i i think probably i think probably i think you probably can't have your feet up there but you're right it might not be something that the flight attendant can even do anything about that's where i deal with the cop analogy falls apart because

it's like the cop can't be like hey you're uh you know the way you're driving is not very chill yeah yeah you have to like break a a law an actual pull you over i also have i have to say a cop has a gun i'm telling you when you're dealing with some Fucking weird guy doing some weird Shit like that's a whole Different thing than like If I Don't know man because it's if you If that was true Wouldn't you like you would see some kind of like

Videos every now and then of people freaking Out on planes and you never see So I'm not sure if you're right I love this I also want to just quickly amend my statement uh 100 cops pull people over because they don't like their vibe oh yeah yeah i love the final analogy it's a great analogy it may stand uh as i consider to think about it i love the final comment on this where the guy is

like people who do this shouldn't be allowed to fly or be forced to fly with southwest frontier or spirit oh i see so you put like listen you're low class you go on the low class airline yeah like you know where you yeah yeah you belong on a damn low-class flight. Do they got any flight that's only single guys? Sorry, we got a big hate those fucking. We hate single guys just only because, not in life, but in the swinger community, single guys are just disgusting. People hate them. Single women, they're the best. For those that post about people taking their shoes off, it was going to flare as a shit post, but I actually am generally curious.

Those who post about bare feet, how do you feel about sandals? Are you offended by feet in general or only the actual soles? What about open toe shoes slash heels? So now we're going to get to it. It's time to talk about what people actually think. Like it's time to talk about feet. It's time to talk about feet it's time to talk about feet the elephant in the room one should wear shoes that allows you to egress the aircraft in an emergency without hindering other passengers don't use those words go back to uh egress and

maybe get a definition on that can you fuck fuck off with this shit? We're on a fucking traveling forum. And that means the ability to traverse an irregular surface and high heat. If one wanted to reduce injury, one should wear shoes that affords protection from cuts, et cetera. Aside from emergencies... Wait, is this just a general guide to wearing shoes?

This is why we have shoes. shoes yeah here's why you have shoes sometimes there can be foreign objects on the ground that can do harm to the bottom of your feet this guy is so weird if one wanted to reduce energy one should energy if one wanted to reduce injury one should wear shoes that affords protection from cuts. Aside from emergencies, one should be able to traverse the airport to make a tight connection. So I think sandals, open-toe shoes, and heels are a bad idea. How did this guy manage to type all this stuff while he was continually pushing his glasses? Totally, man. to type all this stuff while he was continually pushing his glasses I'll tell you what though you wouldn't have to worry about this guy would know

proper decorum on the fly yeah he's dressed in one of the finest suits when he goes travel he's wearing a top hat he's wearing the clothes I'm supposed to wear to the Magic Castle which by the way what how do you think that's I mean listen this episode probably comes out after you've already went so do you think you did it doesn't I don't think so fantastic then what do you think the chances are that you're gonna actually get to the magic castle so I'm gonna I'll tell a quick story real quick last night my birthday dinner um was a fancy restaurant. We're talking steakhouse. Okay. Last night wasn't your birthday.

Right. I understand. But my niece's birthday is around the same time. So we had a dinner together. Oh, I see. But you had the other one on your birthday at the university, right? Yeah. That one wasn't great.

But we'll just pass that on. But anyway. Dinner number two. This is anyway dinner number two this is birthday dinner number two it's at a very nice steakhouse and i finished recording with chris and i went downstairs and i brought up the website and i was like i gotta see what the dress code is at this place and you're not gonna believe it it. No hoodies, no hats, no sweats. So I was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? That's all you have.

Yeah. I'm going to have to buy jeans. Well, I have jeans. I just never wear them. Raw denim, actually. I have raw denim jeans. Hell yeah, brother. So I was like... Fucking tom saguro over here this guy's flies first class got raw denim jeans so they i i i the jeans were fine uh i don't

have any shirts with buttons on you can get those like so easy from the store for like 10 or 15 dollars um but i had some flannels so my wife was like because i'm like i gotta take my hat off this is fucked you know what i mean and she was really but uh yeah i live i lived you know quite a bit of my life without wearing a hat and wasn't really too worried about it. But go ahead. Yeah, yeah. It's fucked to have to take your hat off at any moment. But this is a man who wears his shoes for the entire day.

He puts them on in the morning and he never takes them off until the end of the day, even if he takes a nap. So he's different than you or I. Joe, you live in Los Angeles. Have you ever been to the Magic Castle? Yeah, I've been to the Magic Castle twice. Wow. Did you have a good time? It rules.

That place is awesome. You should definitely try to go if you can. I think I'm going to try to go. It's just the dress code, right? I mean, if the steakhouse was an issue for you, yeah, the Magic Castle's dress code might require a complete change in your lifestyle. Well, it is. It is. It is.

Well, somebody has already offered to give them a suit, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, so I was like,

okay, I'm going to have to get in the back of the closet and get the jeans, the flannel. Cause I have those and the boots. I wear boots, uh, iron Rangers, red wing, iron Rangers boots boots they're very fancy and

nice okay and uh i i had to put all that on and i was miserable the whole night i think i complained every three minutes that i was uncomfortable and i hated it and they were like well this is kind of your birthday thing and i was like i didn't ask for this shit i'm gonna go to a place i can wear a hat and a hoodie did you ever did you did you ever consider while you were complaining every three minutes to just shut the fuck up and be appreciative consider being a wonderful family and and all that they do for you no no if i didn't complain they would be like what the hell my wife did to be fair my wife was like i because this is like four hours before we were supposed to go out to dinner when i checked the thing and she was like brian go get your haircut go pick up some new clothes and like really make this your make

this day great for you and then i went and got my hair cut and then i went to look for clothes and i was i just don't know what to buy like with buttons and yeah and slacks there's no way of buying slacks i'm gonna tell you that right now we should have talked to jesse at thorn about it that would be that's what you should reach out to if you want to know here's my body type what should i what should i you know what should i be wearing that would compliment me well it's a little bit you know i i like comfort but i need something that's a little bit more formal. And just out of curiosity, why don't you just shave your head at all? Oh, I do that sometimes, but I wanted to have a guy do it. Okay, that's fair.

That's fair. Yeah, it is kind of a nice, yeah, for an occasion. Okay, yeah. People who are, this guy goes, people who are offended by people taking their shoes off should avoid traveling to India. Interesting. No, it's because culturally they don't wear shoes over there. So it's like, listen,

buddy, you're in for a fucking rude awakening if you're worried about that. Because there's places in the world where nobody wears shoes, which is true. Barefoot is legal. Barefoot is legal. But this person does respond and say, this is a juvenile response i love that kind of i love that kind of back and forth on these message boards where someone like clearly just gets upset you know or they're just like mad they don't they no longer want to even engage in any sort of discussion let's go to marriott r slash marriott uh we got

some hotel fans you guys hotel fans or hey my first job ever was working in a hotel in the banquet department um which for what is now a marriott uh it was bought by the marriott it was called the richmond inn um so i have a lot of experience i know a lot about hotels i worked there for like four or five years so i understand them quite well but yeah i mean i i don't know i just don't travel that often so i stayed at the w hotel um in hollywood um yeah well it was the it was our last trip before because ariel's pregnant and it was our last trip before we got married. Oh, baby. And it was also very, very discounted because they're renovating the W Hotel. So it was extremely discounted, and we would never normally be able to afford it.

But, yeah, I mean, I appreciate a nice hotel, I think. Me too. I had to get an Airbnb because there's four of us going out there, and it was more expensive. So we're staying in Beverly Hills hills oh wow you know talk about la di da you're getting those la di da's out mr beverly hills mr fancy beverly hills and so and you and you're traveling you you said you're going to la with your wife christina pajitsky is that right mr segura that's tom segura's wife uh this is from disco fan 08 and they said 10 000 points because my room smelled like farts uh i checked into my room last night and my room bathroom smelled like poop basically it smelled

like someone went number two in my bathroom but everything looked clean and undisturbed. So I disinfected my room and washroom anyway, as usual, and ran down to the restaurant before closing. My flight in was delayed and I was tired and hungry. So I figured it by the time I returned, the smell would dissipate. It didn't. I went down again to grab some water and snacks and casually mentioned it to the front desk attendant he offered to upgrade me to a suite but like i said i was tired and said we'll see tomorrow well he gave me 10 000 points and while i was at work they came and cleaned the room and sprayed some air freshener is 10 000 a lot for a farty room i think so grateful though i don't know the point system so i don't know what 10 000 points gets you have to see like what rewards you get for amount of points to know if that's a lot.

Is that like yen? Yeah. It sounds like a lot, but it's not really. Yeah, because sometimes they'll do that with points to make you feel like, oh, you're getting 10,000 points. Wow, that's really not worth anything. Let's look. Yeah, look it up.

Yeah, what can you get? What's the exchange rate? What's the exchange rate on marriott bonvoy points is that right marriott bonvoy that's something i swear um but yeah the uh listen it's and also i again he's he tells the story i casually mentioned it yeah i don't know about that brother they felt the need. They're like immediately trying to fix it, giving you free points and stuff like that. I'm thinking you might have pardoned my pun here, but caused a bit of a stink.

Maybe they stayed in a room after me, you know? Yeah, no shit. Maybe they just like had a guy like Brian because like Brian will take a dookie and he'll flush it and it's physically gone but it doesn't leave that he's oh for years like a ghost haunting uh i've told i've told the story about when we got kicked out of that marriott because i took i believe because i took a crap yeah clogged the toilet oh okay well i'll see i clogged it and then the guy came by and said the room smelled like weed and they just kicked us out of the hotel so um it looks like 10 000 bonvoy points if you go to a cheaper hotel i don't know what the price is that it is called marriott bonvoy

points yeah i'm glad i don't know where I pulled that from, but I somehow knew that. You could redeem as few as 7,500 points for a one-night stay in the Marriott portfolio during standard times. While these hotels are generally mid-range hotels in smaller cities, they can be a particularly good deal when booking during peak travel times or the last minute. That's pretty good. If 10,000 can get you you it's like a couple hundred bucks then right if it can get you like a mid-range uh night at a hotel so that's pretty good 10 000 that's not bad i'm actually looking premier classic guest room one king riverview that's 9 500 points for one night and uh it looks like the stay was supposed to be and uh it looks like the stay was supposed to be i can't even tell i mean it so it's basically what they did was they gave you a free night they gave you a free night and a cheaper one in a marriott portfolio chris uh recently had piss stains on the toilet so he went to speak to the front desk and they apologized and the person went and got the property manager on their own

and got offered 20k points was not looking for anything but was pleasantly surprised so went and got the property manager yeah he did i'm not bleeding that piss i just i i don't i get like the hotel manager they mean right the property manager is a different thing that's like a job a property manager is someone who like that's like a job a property manager is someone who like looks after a building on behalf of an owner or whatever an apartment building anyways it doesn't matter yeah just wipe the piss up just wipe the piss off man like no no listen i i get it it's gross or whatever but like yeah it's a fucking toilet that other people use you don't ever use a public toilet i do yeah you know what i do too

stand up yeah you don't use it but you don't use it at like the way that brian you're not like oh i gotta do a dookie and then put your all your clothes on and go out to a fucking convention center uh this person the original poster goes oh damn now i feel bad i guess in your case the room was not cleaned well to be honest i don't think the washroom was not clean i think it's a plumbing slash drain issue here the scent spray is quite overwhelming but i do smell do still smell a faint poop smell um by the way they offered you a fucking sweet so i don't get this poop smell that you're still dealing with it yeah yeah it's like dude were you like was it like a sunk cost thing you like felt like i've already

put up with this much time with the poo you know i might as well stick it out like why don't you just move was it a strategy to get the points like if they didn't take the room they would be like well we'll give you points then if you're going to suffer. I wonder if that works. That makes so much sense because these people love points. I can't express to you how much all these guys love points.

Regular Chris Hardwick's over here. Oh, yeah. Well, Taylor Tomlinson. Thank you. That's a reference to the new... It's called After Midnight now. Yeah, they're not the same show. They're not the same show. They're actually, they're actually not the same show. It's a, it's different. It's not associated with Chris Hardwick and his name. We've taken his name away from it due to all of the unpleasantness.

Well, and, and like move this person, here's a real, this, I love the hotel that did this, but this is probably, I'm on this guy's side a little bit. DMZNet says, traveling during COVID, had piss stains on the toilet and ants all through the room. Providence Marriott told me tough and handed me Raid and 409 type cleaner. I don't believe this. I don't believe this i don't believe this story i don't believe that uh that you have ants in your room and they're like deal with it yourself i know i don't believe that that exists i think this person's trying to get points not at a marriott like at a shitty hotel

somewhere like yeah maybe like a motel six like like, you know, one of those type. Red Roof. Yeah. But, like, I feel like a Marriott, the people who work there are instructed by corporate to, like, have a protocol for this thing that does not involve giving them raid. Yeah. guy is not was not pleasant from the minute he got there because then he goes on to say called corporate and complained and they laughed at me on the phone oh you know what dude devastating they they laughed at him like yeah the shit he was saying was probably like so fucking such bullshit or whatever nasty he was probably being fucking nasty and he's probably just yeah like this is all just like lies or whatever it's like i think this is a long con for for points you know i think he's still probably looking to get points hoping that

marriott's reading the subreddit i cannot believe someone from our corporate headquarters would laugh at your plight, sir. One million points. They asked me, well, what do you want to do about it? So congrats on your 20K. Hobo Eater says, I was only given 2,000 points when someone broke into my room and placed a bunch of fraudulent charges. Now I feel scammed. And I feel. Wait a second.

Yeah. Someone broke into my room. Someone broke in and started watching movies and eating out of the bitty bar is that i mean that sounds like i swear i was at the park i saw him he was uh he had one arm one armed man and he he ate a snickers and had some jim beam he was watching pornography and he kept well and he couldn't find one that was like really good and that really did it for him so he had to keep ordering different ones till finally he found one that allowed him to ejaculate and i feel it's my duty as an ex cable guy to say about every week

we would get a call from somebody who says yeah I think somebody broke into my house and ordered a bunch of porno. So like, this is such a guy trick that like, this is just, and it doesn't work. You know what I mean? Cause like in the end, somebody might give you some,

like they gave him 2000 points and they gave him 2000 points. So he would stop being a pain in the ass. Leave him alone. Yeah. And because you hand these fucking people points and they're like, oh, my God, that's points. Yeah. It's funny that he doesn't mention that, like, anything was stolen. He was like, someone broke into my room.

They didn't steal any of my valuables or anything. Oh, but the charges that they accrued. Can you imagine somebody doing that like breaking into a room in order to watch movies and stuff like what what type of who is that person who's doing that they're like they have a room themselves or they but then they don't want to get charged to be going to the marriott but then they don't want to have that extra 10 15 charge on there so they break into a different room i mean maybe it could happen it just seems a bit far-fetched to me it does it really does i think that if i if hobo eater is probably saying that it was housekeeping

housekeeping yeah that's the oh and so why would they do it, though? What? That's fucking... That's even dumber. They're at their own job and they're just like, let's fucking order some fucking movies while we're clean. What? Yeah. I'm gonna be in this room for, I don't know, ten minutes, like... Well, yeah, maybe

they're doing it in every room. You know, they order it and then they fast forward and then they end up getting the whole movie. Where did I leave off? I used to try to pull the complain scam because I've talked about my wife's friend who they would go out to lunch and they would go to eat

and she would complain every time and get her food for free and thinking she's pulling off like a thing. You know what i mean yeah it's just like no it's not it's just anybody can do that if they don't have any self-respect and they're not and they're just like they'll cause a scene yeah you can cause a scene you can get shit you know in colorado our room still had a few items left over and poop in the toilet they cleaned it and gave my wife $20,000.

Yeah, $20,000 for poop in the toilet. You can't be leaving a duke in the toilet. That's bad. That's clearly, they didn't clean the room, or the cleaning person took the shit. It's a bad form. It is. But the cleaning person has

the shit. They got a shit. They have their own bathroom. And they should flush. it is that's yeah but the cleaning person has to shit they gotta shit there's nothing they have their own bathrooms and they should flush brian they have their own bathroom there and i think a cleaning person can shit in the room i'm okay with that i am i am too i was no way no way you can't be shitting in a room that's going to be used right away afterwards then they click they clean it you know i mean You shit in it and then you clean it. It honestly seems efficient. I like it. I think they should move this power. Listen, I'm

a pro worker, obviously, but I still think they have a perfectly acceptable... It's going to be the same quality toilet as the one in the... It's not going to be a super nice one in the room. I don't want them shitting in my room personally. It's the thing about spitting. People talk about, oh, the Burger King

guy spit in my Whopper, but you didn't notice it. Who cares? You ate spit. We've all eaten spit, maybe. Oh, yeah. We've all eaten gum. And the

bottom line is, yeah, I'm the same way even like hair in the food i just fucking move it out of the way and you keep eating i don't care i mean if i don't know about something i don't know why i should care and i think that like if the if the cleaning lady takes a shit in the bathroom and flushes it and leaves the room clean fine that's fine but if i smell it if i smell it you know what i mean then i would be just done it and it lingers yeah like they're cleaning your room so they're just they're like while you're out or whatever and then they clean it if they take a shit then it's different if it's like a new room but i'm saying if it's while you're there and they're just cleaning it and then you come back in, no way.

100%. I was kind of operating from the impression that this would have been like before you even got there. Yeah, that's fair. That's totally fair. The original poster says, seeing actual foreign poop in the toilet is traumatic. Don't get me started on public toilets for women. So next reply is from somebody who says i found a rifle under my bed during a reason that's i mean listen that's a that's not bad you could sell that for a decent

amount probably depending on what it is she says i found a rifle under my bed during a recent day and i got 25 000 points i don't stay at that hotel anymore and i'm like game you got a rifle and 25 000 points yeah oh gee they probably made you give it back though yeah points i don't stay at that hotel anymore. And I'm like, game, you got a rifle and 25,000 points. Yeah. Oh, gee, they probably made you give it back, though. Yeah. I don't know, though. I mean, could you be able in that situation?

Be like, do you want the gun? Yeah. You need to take me to 50, baby. 50. How about 100,000 points or I shoot your fucking head off? I think the one with the gun. Our last guy says, I once checked in and there was a turd in the toilet it was the last room and they didn't do anything about it it was so ridiculous they probably thought i'd made it up

yeah they probably thought well yeah listen again i i guess they just didn't believe that it happened but yeah i mean this is a story as old as time we know that you will sometimes go into a hotel room and there'll be a dookie in the toilet and in my opinion you should get minimum 25 000 points for that this is from yeah just for having to see it yeah this is from disney world dolphin uh which is a disney world place from marriott and they say does anyone know what company is staying at these hotels? We're at the dolphin right now. And whatever convention is happening is horrendous. I have complained to the front desk about misbehaving guests on more than one occasion, drunk, making rude comments loud. And it appears this is beyond their control. My kids absolutely

do not need to see this behavior. And it's upsetting that this is what we get for staying here on my vacation. And I've talked about this. I think I talked about it a little bit on the roller coaster episode, but like, it's kind of my experience working at Chuck E. Cheese is always like a thing that I, I think about with this, where it's like, I was doing birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese for cheese for kids you know a fucking five year old kid's birthday party i'm in charge of it and i'm 16 and i fucking am always high and i'm probably on lsd and just a real sleazeball and uh and um they i think like when somebody goes to a place like that they expect it to be their perfect day. But also, they are not the only people in the world.

And it is a Disney place. I sympathize with the poster to some degree. Because I'm thinking I'm in their shoes. I have my kids here. It's Disney. It's supposed to be family friendly. That's one of the promises of this whole thing and if there's a bunch of fucking lunatics running around and and like i don't know saying uh you know looking at my kid and calling him

like the r word or whatever i don't know these rude comments are yeah we don't know the level of rude comments we don't know yeah yeah i i i would be i would kind of be like what's going like it is a little bit on the hotel to be like we get these people under control yeah being as crazy as this person is saying i mean i had a similar experience where i took my whole family to a resort and which i thought was a family-friendly resort brian what are you shaking your head for and and it turned out that god there's a bunch of people sucking and fucking it was called the hedonism too in jamaica and i was like this is for my family we're kind of a vacation no kids allowed there they won't even let you book

if you say you have kids yeah brian knows on marriott uh this guy goes new metal uh ritz carlton credit card he got in the mail. And these guys are obsessed with this stuff. So this is the last thing we do here. But he goes, there's been chatter about the refreshed Ritz-Carlton credit card, but nothing posted on it yet. So I guess I'll go since I just got mine. Did a PC from the boundless a few days ago. Credit card number remained the same.

Sleek and simple black finish shares simple characteristics as the amex platinum same weight metal is the same thickness with plastic backing stuck on which is different than the other lighter metal cards i have amazon prime csr where the metal is thinner and is sandwiched between a plastic back and front oh man i was so excited when you started this because when you said new metal i thought you meant and you're gonna be like a stained branded that would be sick you're talking to someone who would actually fucking like that i know i know i'm familiar with your other show i thought maybe that's why maybe this was coming in from that angle i think everybody when they heard brian say new metal i did i certainly thought it was some corn thing

or something if it was would cm thing or something. If it was. CMFR says, that's unfortunate. Guess they aren't bringing back the real OG metal Ritz, which was 28 grams, was great at scraping ice and making lines. Oh, so it's good for Coke. Yeah, of course. This person claims, but I doubt that they ever really did.

Yeah, buddy, come on, man. You're posting in the Ritz-Carlton forums. You're not. You ain't no cool-ass cokehead. This guy goes, I was really hoping for the OG metal card. Incredibly disappointed this quote all metal card has

plastic still and is so light. Yeah. And what is this? This is a credit card that gets you points for the ritz-carlton yes okay and what bank is it from is it from a specific is like wells fargo or something it says i think it just it says ritz-carlton i don't see they have their own ritz-carlton has their own credit department yeah i can show you guys the card which is very exciting oh yeah that's the card sitting on a scale it only weighs 17 grams though so it just

it looks like a black card yeah i have that prize people want people these people want a black card like they think that's the height of like class and sophistication yeah weighing your credit card is insane being weighing your credit card that photo of the credit card sitting on a scale is just so fucking humiliating for whoever posted it you know it's mostly so tap to pay works properly as the metal inhibits the signal so oh i see what you're saying is you want one that will not work joe literally started hitting himself in the head with his microphone when he heard that right these people my card my card isn't as heavy as it used to be and i loved having my heavy card that didn't work and a guy does respond and say that's what my phone is for just give me a

fat heavy card okay so so wait you don't even want to use your card to spend money no functionality it's just you know the tactile just go go to like a you can get something like that made

for you and put it in your pocket if you want you know what I mean just a black card with metal and it doesn't have any functionality it is it is kind of straight yeah paying with your phone is definitely a way to do it but what is the point that's how i pay yeah i pay exclusively with my phone i get that but i mostly do but what is the point in having the car? It's weird because like I would want everybody to know that I have. If there's something I want everybody to know that I have, then there is that weird trying to figure out a way to get people to look at this thing.

Yeah. What are you going to do? Say, oh, yeah, I got this uh ritz-carlton card right here you know anyway i'm using apple pay yeah yeah yeah you pull it yeah you just like you pull it out and have it like hit the fucking thing so you hear the sound of it you know and then everyone hears the sound of the card and then yeah like you said joe you just quietly under your breast say i'll be i'll be paying with Apple Pay. I'll be paying with Apple Pay. This card doesn't actually work.

I'll be using my Players Club card. I'll be using Apple Pay. I'm so annoyed. I've had the Boundless card for about two years now with a $9,800 credit limit. I don't really ever use the card because in that time I ended up getting the Amex Brilliant and Amex Bonvoy business. I want to product change, but Chase won't up my limit to 10,000. So now I got to start using this bum boundless card. So this is a different card that's for bums. I see. But he's not using the card, did he just not use he wants the good card i mean

they want the card they want the heavy card the heavy card the heavy card it's yeah it's sort of a status symbol thing it's like you know somebody's got a heavy card they're probably packing a lot of points baby you know and they're and they're packing a big old hog oh yeah their hog weighs 28 grams so the points guys are definitely we've only scratched the surface on them and i think they'll make appearances on guys plus for sure and on a stream we could watch those weird guys talk on a stream they're wild yeah yeah um joe tell people where to find you uh yeah i am on instagram and tiktok at joe quad my twitter handle is joe k joe k i also have an album out called funny songs and sketches uh and that is appropriately titled if you want to hear a sketch album kind of like a throwback it seemed like a fun uh you know

i i grew up with like the sandler albums and tenacious oh yeah so i was like let's do something like that and so you can find that wherever you get uh get music and uh we made music videos for the songs and stuff and so those are on youtube and so there's a lot of stuff uh you know and all all of it is on your link tree which is in the uh show notes hopefully hopefully it's uh you know and all of it is on your link tree which is in the uh show notes hopefully hopefully it's uh you know all the link is correct and everything like that there has been some issues in the past with incorrect links um yeah i i will just say this that uh i i when when brian was like hey we're gonna have joe guazala on and I went and watched some of your comedy because he asked me, should we have this guy on? I'm going to watch a bit of his comedy.

And super fucking funny, man. I mean that. Like, genuinely, it really, really hit me well. Like, it really was, like, in my vein of comedy and what I like to listen to. So I think if you like this podcast, you guys will enjoy Joe's comedy. So check it out for sure. I appreciate that for guys. Plus and reach a round table.

It's patreon.com slash murder X, Brian and Chris. Well, I'm back to doing my, not even a show channel again. So I was going to quit, but I'm back to youtube.com slash, not even a show.

Check it out. Yeah. We got pranks up there all the time and all kinds of you know nasty shit and if you're still listening to the show Sunday nights 8 o'clock the Sunday night stream with that's where you get all the swinger talk so

see y'all next week twitch.tv slash murder x brian that would have been good to