Guys: With Bryan Quinby - Guys: Episode 89 - Pizza Guys with Eva Anderson

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Welcome to Guys where we make the finest podcasts with the finest ingredients. This week we talked about Pizza Guys with our friend Eva Anderson. What type of container should the Joe Rogan and Elon Musk pizza be delivered in? Where does sausage go? What is the best pizza in the world? Who is Dave Portnoy? Here is the gallery of pictures from this episode Pizza Gallery There is much more Chris at twitter.com/thecjs and of course https://www.patreon.com/notevenashow And for more Guys content, streams and SHOCKTOBER: a deep dive into shock jocks you can click patreon.com/guyspodcast twitter.com/murderxbryan and  https://bsky.app/profile/murderxbryan.bsky.social  Guys is on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/guys.pod Guys has a Post Office Box now! PO Box 10769 Columbus Ohio 43201

Welcome to Guys, a podcast about guys. This is Brian El Presidente II. And I am here with my co-host, Chris James. Hi, Pison. Is that like, is that considered okay to do that? Yep. That's cool. Okay. So we're not doing Italian guys. We're just doing pizza guys just to be clear I know that I know pizza comes from Italy, but I think there's like okay. Are you gonna talk like that the whole? Hmm I'll do that too. I'll do New York and Italy They call it Italy in Los Angeles. I went to eat in Italy, which is a chain restaurant in Beverly Hills.

Everything OK, Brian, today? Or I'm losing my fucking mind. Our guest for the second time, I had to have her on because we did grilling guys. And when we did grilling guys, she had to meet two Ooty pizza guys. Eva Anderson. Hi, Eva. Hello, you went to Italy? Yeah. Of course you went there. It's most expensive grocery store in the entire city. Well, no, that's Erewhon. And I also went there a couple of times.

OK, cool, cool, cool. No, we were in. We stayed in Beverly Hills. By the way, the best Airbnb I've ever stayed in, except. There's a toilet problem. Yeah, but who knows? You know, is who knows where that came up if it was pre-stay, mid-stay or what? Right.

So there was a toilet problem, but other than that, it's the best. You've talked about the toilet problem before? No. I'm guessing. Oh, what was the toilet problem? Not at that place. This one. Yeah, well, yeah, you've talked about toilet problems before. Definitely. But what was the what was the issue at that particular Airbnb?

The end of the stay, it was clogged. Oh, but not at the beginning. No. OK, well, so it's somebody like you. Do you think someone broke in or could be anybody? I mean, so I don't want to. I'm sorry, Eva, just so early. I just want to know why you stayed in Beverly Hills. There's nothing to do there.

Italy's there. What do you mean? It sucks. It's like it's the most unwalkable, weird part of L.A. It's just like high fancy stores. And Yeah, Brian doesn't always make the best. I feel like travel decisions. It was cheap. The Airbnb was cheaper than OK, a hotel. Because probably the reasons that Eva

just said, because I would want to stay there. It's my favorite Airbnb. It's the only Airbnb I've ever liked. Whereas, like, I like this place. This is great. That's so cool. It's my favorite Airbnb. It's the only Airbnb I've ever liked, whereas like, I like this place. This is great. That's so cool. That was it's cool. There was such a nice place that you repaid them by dropping such a thick log

in their toilet that no one could ever flush it again. They let you control the temperature. That's why I love because we learned on a real estate guys episode, they do not let you control the temperature at a lot of these. Sometimes I'll put a cage over the goddamn thing. Well, yeah, the issue is that people can't be trusted. Sometimes they'll abuse the temperatures.

They'll be like, oh, I want so much heat or I want so much cold to refrigerate myself. So you got to save them from themselves, really. There's also parking. And Los Angeles, get out of town. Can you explain? And that's, that's all great. What happened with the toilet? At what point did it become clogged?

And can you explain a little more about that? The day before we left? I don't know how it happened. Could have been anybody. Um, so then we went over and we ate at Eataly, which I told my family, I was trying to hide it a little bit that it's a chain from my family, but I had eaten there in both Atlanta and Washington DC. Hang on a second because, wait, is it a grocery store or a restaurant?

Both? It's both. Yeah. It's like a market that also has little restaurants tucked in it. Oh, that's so cool. That's actually so cool. That's like, like, honestly, only in L.A. and get toss it and Washington, D.C.

and New York and also in Atlanta. But really, probably other places I've been to. Only in L.A., maybe. But it has like three restaurants in it. One of them is just a regular ass pizza place. You can get a pizza and then one of them is fine dining ish. You know, it's still a grocery store, you know? Yeah. And then especially Italian items you can buy at the grocery store.

I we ate at the fine dining part and it made my daughter and her friend feel sick. Aww. What did they have? I don't know. Some pasta thing. I had pizza because I have pizza all the time. I've had pizza three days in a row this week. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

That's a good, because everyone knows I'm much more professional as a host now and I always ask the guests, would you consider yourself a pizza guy, Eva, how often do you eat pizza and do you love it? I do not eat it that often because I do love it, but I got a pizza oven for Christmas and so I've been learning about dough and I've been trying to make my own pizza in the pizza oven. So that's usually when I eat pizza, I try to make it like pizza I made because I don't want to waste the

pizza oven. That's cool. And that's nice. And then you get to pick the toppings, of course, as well. Yeah. Well, I can't wait. I guess you can do that at a lot of the pizza places. that in a lot of the pizza places. Yeah, I'm in, I'm in your, uh, this episode is going to cost me money. I just haven't figured out like how much money it's going to cost. Cause I'm already, I'm already a dough guy. Like I make dough all the time. I love making does the only dough I never did. I didn't really like a sourdough because the starter is just I don't feel like

Fucking hovering over a starter like a single guy or something like tonight. Well listen, I I have to say this right now because Ariel my partner and she's she is just just did a sourdough starter and And she I guess she has the baby and everything. And so she's, you know, dealing with the baby. She has time to maybe be doing that with the baby and she's not going out as often, but she seems to love it. She's super excited about it. I don't know much about it, but she's really excited about it. You know, you're saying it, you're saying it sucks, Brian.

Add it on top of the fridge. And I kept forgetting about it was when Glenn was like three or four. And I was like getting into making breads and doughs and stuff like that. And I started to make it and like, I think I made a good starter, but I stopped doing it. It just was like, yeah, and you got to do it every day and making pizza, sourdough pizza is not, I mean, like making pizza dough, cold fermented, like perfectly measured out, freed 72 hours in the refrigerator. Pizza dough is maybe one of the most satisfying things you can, you can do. Are you into that Eva?

Yeah, I usually do like a day of pizza dough, but it's, uh, it's, it's still really good for, for those little ovens. But, um, I did do like a two day dough that was also really good. It was like, it was yeah, cold fermented. I love it. I have one of these. I have a recipe of each. So I have a recipe of three day cold ferment. And then I have a day of recipe that I really love. I only use the zero zero flour for the zero. What the fuck are you? What do you guys say?

So you're like fully a pizza. You're fully a pizza guy, Brian. You never told I had no idea about this. Like I had genuinely you've never talked to me about pizza before. And we talk quite often. I have zero zero people pizza dough downstairs. You know, the the flower totally totally. I forgot it was a flower.

Totally abandon the voice. No, no, I have flour downstairs. I make pizza. I get I get the as a pepperoni from Columbus, Ohio. Some of the best people get in the world. Really the best pepperoni. People are bragging about. Do you talk about this? Why do I never see you talking about this?

I mean, in my life life people know like this motherfucker makes pizza my wife me Oh, I see like people like in real life. You mean not I don't have a pizza oven Do you use a stone? No, I just had you like I just use the regular um Baking sheets now, but now I'm like, I'm gonna get one of these steel things for 150 bucks. You know what I mean? It's like a steel thing you stick in a baking steel. Yes. You stick it in the oven and then you heat the oven. You got to go away because it's going to take forever to get hot. It's you need to get that thing at 800 degrees. And anyway, I don't know if I'm making I don't know if

my interest is in making that the Neapolitan pizza, because that seems incredibly that seems like a lifestyle choice. Explain to people who don't know what the fuck you're talking about. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Like Like like, what's the difference? What's the Neapolitan? Why is that? It's like a wood fired pizza. It's like it's like round.

It's on like a peel and you throw it in the near the flames. You bring it out, you turn it around and you throw it back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a lot of rules. Yeah. OK, yeah. OK. And it's it's it's incredibly hard to do. Yeah. And there's just it's scary. There's timing. Brian, you could, you're making like, it sounds like like really interesting, like bar pizza kind of pizza. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, that's what I'm always shooting for. People love the dough. I mean,

I don't know if it's the best. So I went to our pizza. And here's the buy so much stuff. I'm going to buy, I want to want to buy so I would I started a list Yeah While at the very beginning of this I was like this episode is gonna fucking this is gonna cost me as much money as the chime episode You don't have to buy the stuff right you're saying you're doing well right now, right? You're enjoying it like why? Imagine having your pizza steal. I mean, I agree. I kind of agree that you should.

If you're this big into pizza, I will say you should maybe even have a pizza oven. It's hard to do. I've read reviews of Ooni's, Eva. Yeah. I admire you for even trying it because if you look at Amazon and you look at the Amazon reviews of uni, uh, pizza ovens, they have some of the funniest pictures I've ever seen. Yeah, I have one. I might have one in my file that I can show you guys, but it is burnt and is like the guys like you can't like the one star reviews for the

uni pizza ovens are like it's absolutely impossible to make a pizza on this. And they're like, they're like the oven said it was going to be easy. And you're like, how could you think that? Like what other people can do it. Other people can do it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All kinds of people can do it, yeah. It takes a while to figure it out,

but then it's easy. It's not easy, but it's the process. Yeah, it's not immediate. People spend their whole life trying to figure out. How do you not do it? I don't know. Don't you just, you put it in for a certain amount of time? No, if you have to launch it in. Yep. You have to launch the pizza. And if you do it wrong,

then it bunches up and burns and like catches on fire. Gotcha. And so you've got to learn your launch. But like you're saying Brian, like people like in Naples spend their entire lives learning the technique of making one pizza and to be like, I bought this thing. It didn't work the first time. Fuck you. It's pretty funny. It is. It is. It's great. They'll take a picture of like a bunched up burnt, like unrecognizable like pile of stuff. And they're like, look what this did to me. And then you consider that maybe it's a huge thing and not the beats. There are legit problems. I think with some of these ovens, a lot of people said that the temperature

is hard to maintain if there's a slight bit of wind outside, which that's when you're trying to maintain temperature as's a slight bit of wind outside, which that's when you're trying to maintain temperature as a person who does barbecue and pizza that that's like the part that's like you spend all your time on temperature and you're just obsessing over this over this temperature. So let's check in with r slash pizza. See what they're talking about this first post. I'm going to he goes the pizza Joe Rogan and Elon Musk eight. Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh, yeah. So two oh five four. They order pizza from a spot by the studio. It's from a small pizza truck in Austin, Texas called pizza. Leo. I don't know if anyone cares about that, but for the

record, the pizza was amazing. I bought a slice of pepperoni for $5. Wasn't seeking it out, but I was at the pool hall. This trailer parks at and recalled it's where they got the pizza from. Um, and if you are wondering, I'm going to show you to the pizza. Um, I, I, it doesn't look bad. I'm going to tell you right now. It doesn't look bad. So, okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. So here's a picture of the pizza. Joe Rogan and Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. People are wondering they ordered pineapple and anchovy pizza. Oh, that's fucking that's honestly like so wild. It's so cool that he's like a billionaire, but he's like so fucking kind of weird like that, you know, it's very Yeah, why just get a normal pizza when you could be an edge lord about it

He's quirky like honestly like that's something like me and my fucking friends would do as a joke You see that video of him talking about eating shit to the Saturday Night Live cast? He was like at this podcast called All In. It's got all the worst people in the world on it. Tell me who. It's all tech and politics guys. Okay. Okay, I'd love to know who we got on there on the all in.

I've never, I don't know the all in. I got it for you. So it's got Chamath Palapithia, who's the CEO of Social Capital 809 Solutions, Hustle. And so that's one of the guys. Okay, I don't know okay then it's got Jason I don't know who I don't know Jason no I can't say what I mean I know some guys named Jason but I don't know well he's he he's host of the world's most

important conversations twist start up Jason for he's it seems like it when you look at liquidity pot I also invest in 150 startups a year. Oh, it's Jason Calcanis. Oh, Calcanis. Oh, they got Calcanis. Yeah. OK. I don't. Yeah, no, I don't know. I thought they were going to be like people that we know. It's got David Sacks. Mm hmm.

I know him. I know him. Yeah. Friedberg, David Friedberg, who is also some sort of a. So these are just like the really rich, like money, like Bitcoin kind of guys. They had Elon on recently out a live show. And Elon told a story about when he was pitching to Saturday Night Live because he thought the guest pitched instead of them pitching to the guest. He thought the guest pitch and he pitched the least funny thing in the world. And it totally fucking bombed.

And he was framing that like it was just too edgy for the guys that because he was like, I'll pull my cock out. Was the whole joke. He was like his plan was to come out on stage with the script. And he said this was his plan. I'm going to come outside. I come on stage with the script in my hand. I'm going to throw it on the ground and say people

have always been wondering why if Saturday Night Live is actually live, which is a faulty premise. Nobody's wondering that nobody's sitting on. No, it's like saying people have been wondering is wrestling real? It's the same kind of thing and then he goes, so I'll walk out on stage and I'll throw the script down and I'll say, I'm going to pull my cock out and then I'll start to look like I'm doing it. And then I won't. And he was like, silence. He was like, it was just silence. They were so shocked. And then he's like, and that wasn't even the punch line. And then

I cannot remember the punch line. He says the punch line and he was like, and they were silent and the other guy was sitting there. He had helped him write the joke and he was like, oh, remember the cock part and like it was it's really bad. Look it up. You'll find it. So anyway, odd to serve it in styrofoam. You'd think that might make it get soggy because the pizza isn't styrofoam and the OP says if you get a whole pie, it comes in a box. But I just got a slice. And then this guy goes, very obviously got two slices and smaller boxes exist. So now, oh, come on, fuck on, man. What like really?

There are just people who are just like, I'll just I'll just have a disagreement with someone about anything. I don't care what it is. I will just go out there online and I'll just find a disagreement and create it. You know, rocket guy DC is that guy he goes, but very obviously got two slices and smaller boxes exists and the OP says it's one slice. They cut it in half to fit it in a box. I don't know what to tell you buddy. That's pizza. Leon. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what this, why would I be lying about it?

What, why would, like imagine how crazy that would be. If that person is trolling, it's really funny actually, because it's like, it would make you feel crazy. Like, I don't know. Yeah, like why am I justifying this to this person? Why am I trying to like prove to them that this is one slice? Guys, they're like- What if he got, they got him to admit it though. And he was like, you're right.

I got slices. He's like the bottom line is yeah, they had the box and I was like, fuck it. I'll just use the styrofoam. I don't see any difference. And yeah, now I understand I was wrong. I have two. And so this next guy goes, boxes aren't all that cheap. So he's, he's sticking up for Leon and then our guy comes back So use a paper plate for a single slice styrofoam for a single fucking slice of pizza is the stupidest shit I've seen here in a while

Why why are they why is he so mad is he an environmentalist I don't think So skeptical Bob says some people take the pizza somewhere else and don't want loose pizza flying around in their car. You should probably consider that the business owner has thought this through and has reasons for doing it. Source, I co-own a small pizza catering business and have thought and priced different alternatives. What is the issue here? Is Styrofoam does something bad to the pizza or it's bad for the environment?

What is it that they'll... Both. He's going to explain. I'm sure they thought it through, but if their conclusion was to use Styrofoam and a form factor that requires them to cut a single slice and half to fit, then I wholeheartedly disagree with their choice. Styrofoam is an objectively bad choice for transporting pizza. Styrofoam is shitty for the environment and the form factor doesn't work well for the intended application, but hey, they own a pizza shop. They must be infallible.

That's such a good line. Like, I guess Mr. Owens a pizza shop. I guess he's never made a mistake in his entire life pizza related because he owns a shop. Next thing I go is form factor. Form fact. Yeah. He did say form factor. He said a lot of things like real technical, you know, he went super nerd style. Like he almost went science guy on it. And I, you say there's another, there's more. It's not over. How long does this thread go on? I know this next guy goes pizza for racist losers. And then the OP is like, Nope, just

pizza. So now he's got to defend his posts. Oh, he doesn't care too much about Brogan, but was at the pool hall and had the same pizza truck. Ha ha. Crazy coincidence. Now he's being now he's kind of saying like, oh, sure. Yeah, just a coincidence. Like, yeah, he's like saying you you love Joe Rogan, basically. You love Joe Rogan. And you chase down the pizza that they had. So you can do that. And then and then you show your racist. Yeah.

I like it. I do like this. But it's this motherfucker because it's an account of mine. So I'm there probably once a month. So he must be like a distributor. He has been eyeing the truck for a while since it's parked out in the parking lot. I already I already mentioned I like listen to Rogan in the past and still occasionally do. It's just not as good as it used to be.

I can care less what people think of that. He's had some of the greatest minds ever on that podcast. It's such a cool thing to say because it's like he's had so many people on that. It's like as long as you don't say who you're talking about. Yeah. But I think we probably know who they are talking about. You know, people who we might not think their mind is so great. Let's take a look at a lot. I can't admit I can't say the name. So I'm going to show Pete. There's going to be a gallery show notes of pizzas

of the pizza pictures. I made a gallery so people can look at the pictures of the pizzas as, as they listen to the episodes if they feel that way. And this is from Lazarus pizza in New York city. That's a New York slice. It's got too much. It looks gross to me because it's like looks like has too much sauce. Yeah. It's wet looking. Yeah. It looks wet. It looks like I'm going to tell you guys this is highly rated by Barstool 9.3 on one bite pizza reviews was right around the corner from where I was saying so I had to try it very unique thin thin thin cracker crisp wonderful flavored crust was a standout sauce was interesting started off sweet and finished with a more salty finish pepperoni on half cut and thin strips it

didn't really crisp up but added a nice salty counterpoint to the sweet forward sauce all in all a Unique not very New York traditional pie which was delicious Next guy goes Portnoy is an ogre and his opinion should be ignored with regard to everything I'm glad you like the pie, but please consider disavowing any trust in or support of his self-imposed authority consider disavowing any trust and or support of his self-imposed authority. So that's so Dave Portnoy does the reviews. He does pizza reviews. He takes one bite of the pizza and he gives it a number from one to 10 and then one bite. One bite pizza reviews. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why Chris Bubba says one bite. Yeah. No, whole half a half. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a riff. I knew that he was one bite pizza reviews. I knew he did pizza reviews. I didn't I just mean, okay,

so that's his review that he was giving and someone's responding to it. Is that right? Yeah. And he's an ogre. So anyway, ogre is not really a good term for him though. No, I mean, he's so small. He's like really, really small. That's the thing about him. He's like so small that you see, you photo, you could see a photograph of him and he doesn't even have to have anything. He could just be in a white room.

Like there's no point of reference for his size, but you can tell that he's short. You know, you can tell he's small. He's little. Does he throw the pizza away after he takes the one bite? I'm sure he eats it. Yeah, you think so because I think like he eats it. I think he eats it Why wouldn't he eat it? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not fucking Dave Portnoy. He goes Respect so anyway, the guy responds and goes never met the man, but he and I agree on

some of the higher rated pizzas he's reviewed, notably the New Haven Pies, which we will talk about. He goes respect good pie to the Oh, no. Is that a thing they say? I didn't see it. But it is the thing I will be saying now. Good pie. That's sounds like pasta. Farian and chive, chive is pasta far. And it definitely ran Farish perhaps.

Well, outdoor pizza supply asks what's better plainer toppings. Which one you even first, um, which, what do you mean? Like just said, cheese, like a cheese pizza? Cheese pizza or do you want pepperoni? Which for me is pepperoni. I don't eat any pizza if it doesn't have pepperoni. It's the only pepperoni for me. No other stuff.

No less stuff. Pepperoni pizza. Hmm, you know what I was getting into lately? I don't eat pizza really anymore at all. But when I was maybe six months ago, I was on a bit of a pizza kick for a few months and I was eating double cheese. I was just eating straight up double cheese pizza, no toppings whatsoever.

So before that, I would have said toppings, but I don't know a fucking good cheese pizza is pretty fucking good. You know, Eva, are you cheese or topics? Uh, I like white pizza. So I start there. I haven't had white slice. What is that? What does that mean? It doesn't have any tomato sauce on it. It's like cream, almost like a cream sauce and ricotta and mozzarella. And then sometimes there's like basil or sometimes some like greens on it, but it's mostly like just a different base.

That's right. I've had that before and I like it. I definitely enjoy it now. But Brian, is that considered pizza? By the, like, have you looked into that is considered pizza? They are very inclusive. I will say that. That's good.

Our pizza people are very inclusive. Now pizza crimes, okay, whole different place to go where there are just nothing is pizza. But our pizza, they're like anything can be pizza. I see cheese bread. You know, you got some dough and some cheese, your pizza depends on the toppings, but I usually like pizza closer to plain. I care more about the crust being good than anything else. And the OP says I prefer plain if done properly as well when the dough and sauce is made with just the right amount of love. And then he did the finger. Oh, like, in this case,

I'd be having a plain slice first. But normally, I just always want some pepperoni, but not a sausage fan on pizza, just in the butt. Haha. Just kidding. Sorry. What happened there? Did he say that? Yeah.

Did you? Yeah. Was that all your power back? He says, in this case, I'd be having a plain slice first, but normally I always want some pepperoni, not a sausage fan on pizza just in the butt. Haha. Jk. I think he is. I mean, I think that he's probably like by curious. You know, the fact that it's like it's nobody's talking about it or anything. It's just come up in his own mind. He's come up with it and then said, I'm just joking around. Where does the thought even come from? Take it.

I like it. Just kidding. Nobody asked you guys just to take can't take a joke. Yeah, nobody can take a joke anymore. It's funny to do it on our pizza, which is a Reddit, a subreddit, which would presumably be an all ages subreddit. Oh, yeah. You could not ever in your mind imagine anal sex jokes. Yeah, it just it just comes so out of nowhere. Do you know what

I mean? It's like no one's even he brings up sausage. Like he's the one who brings up sausage and then he brings the connection between sausage and penis and then he like he does all of it. It's like Sean Rouse. I say that's a different comedian. You got to be careful. He's not very good. No, that's a different comedian. Jason Rouse is the one you're talking about. The other person, Jason Rouse, the other person, I don't know if Sean Rouse is good. I don't know him at all, but I just know the person you're talking about is on the guys plus suck. Don't just don't, let's not just, let's not

just Chris is going to cut that out. No, I'm not cutting it out. I'm not cutting it out. I don't know. I know that comedian that we watch. That's the reason why. But it's, I don't really like, he's not my friend. I don't really care. Tippers4242 says toppings, plain cheeses for kids and David Bortnoy. I don't care. No, wait, I don't care. I don't care. It's a really common way to eat pizza. Of course, I'm sure a lot of evil people like cheese pizza. I'm sure there's like Charles Manson might be a fan of cheese pizza. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop eating it, you know?

I feel like all these pizza posts so far have also been woke. Like they're also like anti Barstool anti Elon. It's like Joe Rogan. It's like, what's this crossover of people that like pizza and hate the intellectual dark web? I think most of the subreddits that I look at for more lighter fare are a lot more woke. Because if you look at, if you were looking at the stuff, I don't know, ren fair, let's just say for the ren fair episode, everybody was woke. It was the most woke thing you've ever seen in your life. And you would think there'd be a few people in there like, cause my sister, I think she wants to do the right thing, but sometimes

she'll say some stuff and you're like, yeah, you shouldn't have said that. But she wants to be good, but she works in a restaurant and she says stuff about Mexican sometimes that you're like, let them say that. Um, but anyway, he goes plain cheese or maybe pepperoni at times is the best way to test the pizza. If that's good, it's all you need. Chippers. 42 42 says all agree on a single pepperoni or sausage. Maybe he just said sausage. He's not mentioning it. Well, where's that sausage going to go on the pizza? I hope. But cheese by itself, even if it's good on a cheese only scale is boring as hell. And some places can nail it.

Cheese, but use lesser ingredients elsewhere. So I think the cheese only is a determiner of quality is a bit of a fallacy. So we're- I mean, I don't think that's true. I think you're stripping away as much as possible from it. So you're allowing it to sort of stand on its own than the crust and the sauce, right? I mean, that makes sense. Here's the guy that I'm bummed out for.

Plain teeth for being picky as hell. Used to pick the pepperonis off a pizza, but now even that's too spicy for me and gives me such bad heartburn, it hurts. Oh honey. Oh, he can't even eat a pepperoni. He doesn't even, he's not even able to eat a pepperoni. That's like not that spicy. You know what I mean? So yeah, yeah. Pepperoni oil leftover from peeling off the pizza is too spicy. Yeah. If he takes the pepperoni off the pizza and eats the pizza, still too spicy. Oh, really? Oh,

oh, I think it's the thing is days are done eating eating is day is eating days might be done entirely, you know, I'm calling core crafty photograph. 18 says a shit ton of toppings. If I want plain bread with cheese, I buy a cocha puree. Is that a thing in the U S I just realized I've never seen a cocha puree since moving to the U S. So maybe you want to cut it is I don't know. Good.

Is it good? I'll get it's like a, it's like an Armenian bread boat that you can sometimes get at pizza places in LA that are also Armenian. And they, it's like got cheese in the middle and then they put an egg in the middle. Oh, that sounds like eggs. Fridges are people too, says unpopular opinion. Now, I'm gonna preface this by saying this is not an unpopular opinion because it has no replies in one upvote. It's actually an opinion nobody cares about. He goes, toppings

matter and a pizza with good talking topping, toppings, toppings matter. It's almost always better than a cheese slash margarita pizza. A margarita pizza from the greatest pizza restaurant in Italy or a cheese from the best place in New York isn't nearly as good as a pizza with good toppings from any decent pizza place. Is it okay if I talk for a second? Yeah. Um, did you just try to fly through that?

Yeah. Talking. Okay. I know, I was just checking because I see your new strategy towards it and it is interesting. And I think Eva, you listened to the podcast. Oh yeah. So I think Eva noticed that. I saw a look on her face.

She did not notice it, that's for sure. So, yay, good strategy, I will say. Almost worked. Almost worked. WizardMagic1028 8 8 says plain. Those I mean, hot peppers let me spend an evening on the toilet, which I don't think you should talk

about the toilet on the food subreddits. It's understood that it's coming. You know, the food is going to eventually come out into the toilet, but we don't need to discuss that part of it. Let's get controversial, everybody. Frank Pepe's widely considered the best pizza in the United States, if not the country.

Where is this? Where is it? New Haven, Connecticut is a new style pizza. It's a what style, sorry? New Haven style, I don't know. Oh, okay. You've heard of it, Eva, you know of this? Yeah, my husband has told me about this pizza. It sounds actually very good. I'm gonna show you a heard of it, Eva. You know of this. Yeah. My husband has told me about this pizza.

It sounds actually very good. I'm going to show you a picture of it real quick. So he's had it. He's eaten the pizza. Yeah. And and it's like good enough that he has been like, I got to tell you about this pizza. Yeah. Well, it's like because there's only one place where you get New Haven pizza. And I was like, like, which is that city?

And I was like, what, what is it like? Cause there's like three places there that have it. And it's also w we gotta stop. We're using the wrong word for the new Haven. It's called a beats. Sorry. I'll be what it looks really nasty. It's a bad picture. Yeah. The picture is like really like the coloration on it. It looks like it has, it looks like it has, I gotta say it looks like it has puke on it.

I would eat it. I think it looks great. There's like 15 banana peppers on it. It's mostly banana peppers. Yeah, it's all banana peppers. It looks really wet and it's got kind of the, the pepperoni looks pretty good. It looks kind of a little thick. Maybe I, my favorite pizza

is in Vancouver. It is a chain. It's called ignite pizzeria. Like just my favorite in, in Vancouver. And it has like thin things. I say it has the wood fire pizza or whatever. And it has the, the cut pepperoni, the little mini cut pepperonis on it. And that they have just fantastic pizza. Um, but yeah, that looked pretty nasty to me. So the guy, Sunsailor 76, he posts this picture and goes, number one pizza in the USA for a reason. Went to Frank Pepe's in New Haven, Connecticut this week for pepperoni and hot pepper pie.

First, first comment is, is Frank Pepe's advertising on this sub? Green Sox monsters has number one quote number one for a reason in USA. And then snowball or nine 18 says like for real says who long lagando says every pizza place says they're the number one pizza place. That is true. That is very true. And then M garlic 87, which I would trust him. It's got a trustworthy name. We're the number one pizza at this address. They're all Griffin. This is a riff. This is a riff. Yeah. Yeah. This is funny. Does anybody else have any tags or anything? Well, our Opie comes back. Oh shit, call back. Yeah, he goes, but they didn't make the claim. Professional pizza reviews did.

Oh. Oh shit. Oh, I didn't realize that. And these are not amateur reviews? No, these aren't just Yelp reviews. These are professional reviews. Professionals and okay. How many of them and which ones?

That's all he said. Okay. But they didn't make the claim. Professional pizza reviews did. And PaulPaul22 says, not anyone in New York. I have about five places better in Brooklyn that deliver to me. And I've had the delicious yes, but watch your superlatives coming into a serious subreddit like this.

Every single guy, every single pizza guy in New York is like, I got five fucking places within walking distance from me that are better than this place. Like that's I've heard that so many times. You know, it's like whatever your pizza. I'm not overly impressed with New York pizza in the way that people are. I mean, it's fine. And then now there's a bunch of deleted posts in this threat, like a ton, like a long line. And then it just comes back. Epic Sanchez, zero one,

zero six, three, go zero goes, who's Dave Portnoy somebody making the credible threats on Dave Portnoy's life in the in the chat. He goes, never. Do you think the moderator, the moderators went in and deleted? Do you think that they have like active moderation where they're like, Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I think there was a big fight. Maybe some very big trouble.

And then it spiraled out of control and they deleted the whole fight. Yeah, because now this guy goes, he goes fucking science man. He goes, never heard of her. And call me Trinity 23. Now this is a good rip on Dave Portnoy. I'm pretty sure that's the guy from Tropic Thunder. What's that a reference to?

I have no I couldn't figure it out. Robert Downey Jr. Who is in? Who's in their Tom Cruise and Tropic? Who's in Tropic Thunder? Who else? Ben Stiller and Stillers in it. I know Brandon T.

Oh, Jack Black's name is Jeff Portnoy. Oh, God, that's what you need to know. You need to know the film's characters to get that one. Oh hell yes. How many upvotes did that comment get? Did anyone get it? I mean that. Four. Four upvotes. Wow. Yeah it did pretty good for like that's the most inside joke I've ever seen. As there's three people who upvoted that who are like still, you know, still just referencing the Robert Downey Jr. blackface stuff, just like still think it's the funniest thing ever. That's cool. That's cool to see that he they do have some fans around Tropic Thunder that are still

like full hardcore fans remember everything. You have to be 500 times. Do you think that that chive would ever do Tropic Thunder like shirts or coins? Yes, 100% they would do. They probably did and they might do them again. I mean, yeah, the window is not closed on it if they haven't because let me tell you, they will pull something. They're doing a big Napoleon dynamite run at the moment. They don't really care at all about when it came out. Yeah, I'm almost guaranteeing they did a never do never go, you know, fool slur.

Yeah. Do you think you could get them to do a Jeff Portnoy shirt or coin? Oh, easily, easily. Just you could like you find out one of the writers there and just fucking send them an email reminding them of like Jeff Portnoy. You know, I was just thinking Jeff Portnoy is like from the movie Tropic Thunder. Very similar to Dave Portnoy. And then just look at the chivalry like two weeks later,

full line. They're into horror movies right now. There's a Halloween, Halloween. I have this really cool shirt that's like, I'll show you guys cause you'll love it. It's really neat. They did a Chris Farley as Beetlejuice, Matt Foley as Beetlejuice, the SNL character.

And they did a challenge coin of that. I actually posted about it on the Instagram. It was really, I don't know. I didn't really know about that one. It seemed a little disrespectful to the, you know, Do you guys know what this shirt? It's like, it's like the stepbrothers picture, but instead it's Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers and it says Sleigh Brothers. I love it. Are you going to get Zombie Bill Murray challenge coin? Oh, I would love to.

And I might buy the cheaper one. I'm still too much of a coward to go for the full on the gold one. And Chris will get mad at me if I buy one because not not not don't make it seem like I'm listen, it's no skin off my back. All right. It doesn't affect, you know, any how

much money I make from the podcast or anything. I'm just thinking, you know, I know your family. They're very nice people. I just think that the money could be spent better than a $2,000 Bill Murray challenge. That's a hand down to your daughter, but she doesn't want it. Maybe you don't know. Now, let's take a look here. I went to CNN and I Googled the world's best pizza for 2024. Now we're not talking about America. This Frank Pepe's crap. Yeah. Okay. This is the best pizza in the world. I went to the number one pizza place on Google, I decided to check in. It's called Uno Pizza Napolitana. Is this in Italy?

This is in New York. This one's in New York. The number one place is in New York. This is the first time ever that Naples doesn't have one in first place, but they have one in second, third, and fourth place. Wow, so that's huge for Uno. Una, Uno's a different thing. Chris,

sorry, Una. I went to trivia last night. We came in third or fourth every time. What? How many, how many rounds? Oh, you went did, was it buzzer or non-buzz? We will never be doing buzzer again. Buzzers over for me. Brian got dominated on buzzer. So I already couldn't press the buzzer fast enough. And to the point where he like started complaining to the being like, I think the buzzers broken and it's like they they like clearly demonstrated to him that it wasn't but he wouldn't accept that. But what it what who was on your team you had more team members. Just my sister and my wife.

So you did you had three of you. That's all. And how many, how many teams total? Like 10 or 15. It was their busiest long time. Yeah. You, you, you plays pretty high. I told you I'm fucking smart, dude. I know things. Although one of the, one of the, a couple of them were pretty, the, one of the categories was food. My sister's a fine dining chef. And then one of them was fucking, you know, sex club playrooms. And that's kind of unfair to everyone other than you. I kept every time they'd be like, here's the category for this round. And I was like, pro wrestling, pro wrestling, pro wrestling.

Oh, yeah. Say it. Cause I'm like a pro wrestling man. I'll win any movie question I had in like a second. I was a big help to them. What if they did pro wrestling and then it was all modern day WWE stuff that you didn't know about? You really think that? Okay, okay.

Una pizza Napolitana. Now this review is what I call the hype beast principle. This goes by, we all live by the hype beast principle is that when a place is very good And great at what they do and undeniably. This is something that we all want Unfortunately the people that work at the place can be assholes to they can dislike you It's just that's the way it works it it's a supply and demand principle and it's unfortunate and I don't like it But that's the way this stuff works. So LK66 went to the best pizza place in the entire world.

Okay. Give it one star. Hey, can you pause for just one second? There's a noise that's coming. Do you hear it, Brian? Like it's like, uh, yeah, I, I, I, maybe only I hear it. It's like a whooshing sound that I hear sometimes. No. Okay. Okay. My wife and I drive from Maryland to try this famous pizza. We waited for three and a half hours and finally secured a spot. After waiting so long to get in, we were absolutely flabbergasted when the owner decided to stop making pizza to chat with someone. We literally sat and watched him talk while the other folks stood waiting for him to finish his conversation for more than 30 minutes. The wait staff was very apologetic and very sweet, but the audacity. The pizza is good, but it's all about the crust.

Yeah, no **** That's what it is. Uh it goes. The toppings are sparse, but we enjoyed it. My biggest issue was the fact that the owner had no respect for us or others who were waiting to eat. It was just so in-your-face disrespectful. And when he was told we were upset, we really didn't care. Or he really didn't care. No apology from him. But the waitstaff and hostess were very sympathetic and sweet. I would not recommend this place to others. The entire process to get into place was complicated

and frustrating, but we were willing to do it for great pizza and good service. The pizza's okay. Owner is arrogant and he takes his customers for granted. Spend your hard-earned money somewhere else. So take your traffic elsewhere. I mean, so sorry. He took a break from making. That's what they're mad about. He took a break from making pizzas for 30 minutes. He talked to another person, but that's the way it is. That's what is.

That was his break. You get a break at work. No, you don't. And nobody else in the entire building can make pizza, but the owner. See, I believe that in a way, but I'm not 100% sure of that. I know. Wonder three hours.

Yeah. Harvest be. This is an insane. This is an insane review. I'm just going to tell you this right now. Showed up on a Friday night with my girlfriend and they said they were out of dough. Can you imagine you show up to the best pizza place in the entire world on a Friday night and expect them to just be like, come on in,

sit down. We're going to make you a piece. He goes, when asked how they could be out of dough, the host responded, we only make a limited amount of dough. But then we asked how that could be. If you're a pizza place, his response was in such a bratty tone as if we were the problem, but it is brat summer. So, um, but they are the problem. That's why he was responding that way because he was like, I think he probably started to become frustrated because he's, you know, like, yeah, I think because they want to have fresh dough, right?

They only make a certain amount. They don't want to have excess dough that they have to then get rid of or whatever. And yeah, they they can't make enough for the amount of people that want it. It happens at many places, not just with dough. It happens at other restaurants, too, that are really in demand. You know, it's also like you have to make a dough. It's not infinitely regenerating. It doesn't just you don't just like scoop it out of a tub like ice cream or something.

Like you have to really like, how could that be possible that that is a limit to how is it a thing that takes three days to make? That's the funny part is that they're like, we're out of dough. And then this motherfucker says, how are you out of dough? Like, how could that even happen? I don't even understand how isn't dough just like on like, wait, how does dough work? Is it on like a bush? Like, where do you get it from? What are they out back fermenting the dough?

Doesn't understand what dough is at all. Like he's like, he thinks no is like kind of an idea or something. Yeah. Or just like go in the back and stir up some more dough. Like it is. It is also though, it could very possibly be a person that worked at a restaurant that didn't always do fresh ingredients that expects them to get a delivery of dough. You know what I mean? Instead of them making it that this person seems to not even understand that they're making it. But even then it's finite. And that the delivery guys, they aren't waiting there with a bunch of dough around the corner. You know, you went on a Friday night too, by the way. That was the part of the review where I was like, what the fuck is this is the craziest person you go to the most popular pizza place in the world on a

Friday night they're out of dough you're mad you can't figure out how they're out of dough you are stupid you're very stupid person Daniel says this is so weird maybe the owner could explain why he charges people $25 which which by the way, not a lot of money for a pizza for a pizza in New York. That's how much it costs here. That's how much it costs here for a pizza. That's pizza in the world. Yeah.

And that's why. And if you are wondering why he charges a what you think a high amount, it's because it's known as supply and demand. People want it because it's known as the best. And so they can therefore charge a higher price for it. Because people give $25. Maybe the owner could explain why he charges people $25 to give. Here we go.

A hunk of bread with a little bit of topping. If you were a real chef, you would know that isn't pizza. It's bread with some topping which is basically what pizza is. And that is a sauce. It has a cheese as a toppings and it has the dough, the bread. Yes, that's my understanding of a pizza. Oh, you're not understanding here is people work hard for their money. Why can't you give them something of substance for their twenty five dollars? He's working hard for his money.

Like he is one of the people you're talking about, who's working hard for their money. Chris, it's a scam. But he's going to go to this. He makes all the pizza himself. So he he's still working his ass off in a hot pizza oven all day to bring people this delicious pizza. And it sounds like not even that high of a price, you know? No, but I love the concept of what's really just like dough and sauce and cheese and

topping. Yeah, like you're just going to like you just like sliced off a piece of a cow and then grilled it up and all of a sudden you're charging me 45 bucks for it. Like you wait, you killed a chicken. Yeah. And you're now putting it on a grill and now you expect me to pay a lot of money for it. That seems crazy. Michael anger. Oh, he says, uh, not worth the wait. Someone classified the number one pizza in the world. I'd like to talk to the person face to face at Raza in New Jersey over a nice pizza. $30 for an individual margarita with a few tasteless slices of pepperoni. 50% of the pizza was crust. We also ordered a special pizza.

I love this slide. We also ordered a special pizza. Nothing special about pizza bianca with cherry tomatoes. I mean, it does have cherry tomatoes. That's like that sounds like the special part. Yeah. Yeah. 50% was crust.

That's exactly how much should be crust. I love crust Eva. I love no, no actually. Well, I don't mind the crust being kind of big as long as it's a stuffed crust. As long as it's stuffed crust, you know. Yeah, it's got it's stuffed with a hot dog. Well, hey, that's the only place a hot dog's getting stuffed. Thank you very much.

I'll put one right up my asshole. I won't. Not me. Just kidding. I will. Just kidding. I won't. Ha ha. OK. So and we order dessert. We got ice cream with crunchy nuts in it. Nothing. What the fuck is that?

What are you? That's that's a big con ice cream. That's good. That's normal. That's normal. Yeah. These people are crazy. They really think that they're going to go to this place and it's going to be this thing that's not. That is almost not pizza and almost not dessert. that they're going to go to this place and it's going to be this thing that's not, that is almost not pizza and almost not dessert. Like that is, that is this, this thing they've never had in their life, not the best thing,

yeah. But a different thing that they're, they're just, I don't know what they expect because he's like, experienced an entirely new experience. They're like, this is like, yeah, this is not even going to like, I'm going to be like, this is other pizza. I will. I could never eat any other pizza again. I now know what pizza is and this is pizza. Like that's what they're expecting. But ice cream with crunchy nuts in it, nothing special again. They what I'm going to guarantee is they made that ice cream there. That is not ice. That's not the ice cream you get at an ice cream.

Even if it is though, it's just it's a pizza place famous for their pizza. Yeah, he goes. I hate to say it, but I felt insulted. I felt insulted. You're insulted by a pizza. The pizza made me mad and the ice cream. Forget about it. Okay, you're insulted by a pizza. The pizza made me mad and the ice cream. Forget about it. I was fucking fuming.

The nuts, crunchy nuts. I wanted soft nuts. Honestly, when I felt the nuts crunching in my teeth, I was fucking. I honestly felt so disrespected. He's looking around. Anybody knows this is just ice cream with nuts in it? Yeah, like crunchy, crunchy nuts. Like what are they like? Not soft nuts like soggy nuts.

I don't mind a nut if it's in ice cream. It's very soft, you know, but nobody understands what he's mad. They think he's getting like they think he got like the wrong order or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right order. And just looking around and nobody agrees with. He goes, I felt insulted. I paid $30 for the best burger in the USA at Raoul's in the heart of Soho. I pay $30 for super delicious spaghetti

a la vangola at Barp pity in the heart of Greenwich Village, but I would never go spend $30 at this pizzeria and the Lower East Side. The pizza looks great, but ladies and gentlemen, please, the amount of money for that pizza is insulting people's intelligence. I will not even give it a second chance. Wow. That's it. It's over. I mean, that's your that's the way you do it. You just if you don't like it You just don't go back you just go eat somewhere else But I mean I I wouldn't I'm not gonna I would still go try it And the number two pizza place in the world is in Naples, Italy. It's called Diego Vitaliano pizzeria and back knowing it's got four point four stars

I thought I'd check in on some one-star reviews. Worst service ever. It took more than 20 minutes for someone to ask us if we wanted to order, and that's because we called a waitress. She acted like she didn't understand anything we said and called someone else, and then all of a sudden she understood what we wanted. They're in Italy, by the way. So they were speaking in English, I guess. Yes. Is it, it might, yeah, it's possible that she spoke Italian.

It's, I'm sure she spoke Italian. I've never been to Italy before. Me neither. You haven't, Eva, have you ever been to Italy? Yeah, I went to Venice. What, did they speak Italian there a lot? A lot. Yes, yes, a lot, yeah.

Some places spoke English, but like, yes, some places. Yes. It was just Italian. Accusing somebody of pretending not to know English in a country where it's not the main language is, is really good stuff for you. That's interesting that. Okay. So some of the, some of the people over there are speaking Italian, so it might

be that, and this is, here comes another weird line. This is another weird line. Uh, I asked for a salad to start and a crispy pizza. They brought me a normal pizza Not crispy like I ordered I wonder if crispy is on the menu. No, absolutely Or if that's just a thing that they wanted it and the people were like, well, no, that's not. We don't do that. You know, and they just gave them the pizza. You know, that normal. I want a crispy pizza. She goes, they brought me a normal pizza,

which is crazy thing to say. They brought me the pizza. I ordered in the salad came 15 minutes after the pizza. I asked for a bunch of vinegar and it never came. The food wasn't that great either. So she has to take a little parting shot. And again, I can tell it was because if it wasn't that great, she would have gone in on the food a little bit. But she just as an afterthought, she's like, I wasn't that good either, by the way. But it's like, I think you enjoyed the food.

You just want to give a bad review. Have never seen a more arrogant staff than in this pizzeria. Beginning from the staff. This is this is service staff. You know what I mean? Like just just service workers, arrogant. I don't know. I don't know that I've ever encountered arrogant service staff.

I mean, I have been to places that are maybe higher level, of course. Ooh, la la. Oh, OK. Fine dining, right? Never in my life. I'm a working class guy and I'm a man of the people. And you know that about me. But yeah, let's hear about all the fancy fucking one hundred dollar.

I like restaurants. I like food. I'm a food man. Can you tell? Oh, anyway, you would probably say foodie. I'm a food man. Can you tell? Um, anyway, you would probably say foodie. I'm a food man. Beginning with the person may have been seated, followed by all waiters, but the burner was the cashier. No look, no smile.

Just the question. What table? There were no numbers on it. No, thank you. No, come again. Never ever menu only via QR code, but the pizza was very, very good. Staff was arrogant to everybody, not only to us. Smiling is obviously forbidden by the management. I don't know. I guess, do you think that maybe they're looking for some cheeriness? They

were kind of smiling, but they weren't cheery enough? Or do you think that the staff was really genuinely like stone-faced not smiling at anyone? Like I want... They're just bombing with their jokes. They went in there and told a couple of jokes and the staff was like, yeah, I've heard that one and I don't understand what you're saying because I'm a talent. The staff's just like, and why would you... So are you going to pull your penis all the way out or you just are going to take away? I can't get it exactly. Barry Martin says, top quality pizza both in terms of ingredients and the chef skill. Unfortunately, his staff think they're superior to the clientele they serve. Unless you're middle class, expect to be looked down upon and don't expect a child's meal,

for example. Very stuffy for what is a more working or even not working side of town. I wouldn't recommend on this basis. I don't expect to be sneered at with my family eating food at what is an inexpensive restaurant. And then in parentheses, he goes, by the way, we was all dressed shirt trousers and shirt trousers and dress, etc. So they were dressed nice. I'm guessing that they were a big, loud American family in there just like, we're going to go to the statue after and everyone was kind of just looking over like, I mean, just be a little quieter, you know?

And that's the sort of feeling that they were getting probably, you know? All right. Now we're going to go to a story, everybody. It's story time. Okay. go to a story everybody. It's story time. But with a Sika one star. A few days ago, I came with some colleagues for a pizza and a chat. The waiting times before being seated despite being a Thursday were very long. And return however the dining room staff was excellent for the service service speed and the

pizzas were undoubtedly good. I only give one star for the lack of empathy perceived after a particular event. Oh, no. I only give one star. This is going to be good. One of the colleagues after realizing that the chair he was sitting on was soaking his trousers with a liquid, which later turned out to be urine, and probably ended up on a chair cushion due to the previous customers and continents. And after communicating what happened, the staff's reaction was total indifference as if nothing had happened and as if it wasn't a problem that concerned them

in any way. Perhaps we were too friendly and too polite in expressing the discomfort felt by our colleague and the whole group. This indifference and indifference perceived even after having once again underlined the discomfort of what had happened to both the waiter and the manager astonished us. Any of us. I imagine anyone reading this review if we had been operators of the pizzeria would have been mortified by what happened and we would have worked endlessly to show your displeasure for what happened to a customer in our restaurant. And at least we would have offered some soaked wipes.

We would have made ourselves available for a change of trousers. And we would have offered a round of coffee. But I mean, at the very least, which is not even remotely taken into consideration, the manager's response was, and what can we do? Assuming, cause they didn't have extra pants in the back. Yeah, a change of, are we supposed to buy pants for this guy?

That's fucked up though. If you're running a business, you should have an extra pair of pants in each size. In case somebody, I mean, that's, I mean, listen, that's fucking does suck shit. If you go to a restaurant, I mean, I don't know the real story or whatever, but I will say I would. I would don't think I'd be that happy if I sat down and it would. But I would also I don't know, man, like if it's soaking you like that, like when you realize right away, like how long are you sitting in the piss for that? It's you know what I mean? Like, wouldn't you just be like, oh, that's wet. Like you'd feel it right away or maybe to arouse a little interest in the matter. We should have made a scene and made him look bad in front of all the other

customers. But we were gentlemen and we left mortified, but we will certainly never return. My colleague got intoxicated in the evening, had to throw away his trousers soaked in other people's incontinence urine, and even had to pay 25 euros for a pizza, a beer and a bitter without even receiving an acceptable apology. I think he pissed himself. I think that the colleague pissed himself in the seat and then he claimed that somebody must have pissed in the seat before him and that's why. And maybe his like when he was sitting down, maybe it was gravity was doing him favors

and his penis was like pointed down between his legs. Maybe his like, when he was sitting down, maybe gravity was doing him favors and his penis was like pointed down between his legs. And so all the piss kind of went down below and not like on the front of his legs. And he was able to sort of say, oh my God, I've sat in some piss here, you know? Also, if you do sit in piss that is not yours, I would leave.

I would go somewhere. I'd be like, I feel like I'm not going to finish this meal. That's the end of the day for me. That's I'm going home for a nice little shower and just a relax probably or to the hotel or wherever I'm staying, you know? But he like ate the pizza. He drank, he drank a beer. He drank a bitters. Apparently he got drunk. He got drunk. Also went out and got drunk afterwards. Yeah. So I mean, he had like a normal night out afterwards without, I mean, he eventually threw his pants away. So he was walking around with like sort of Donald ducking it, I guess. I don't really, just

this drunk wandering around with no pants on. Yeah, it seems like he would have been, it would have been smart for him to find a, you know, a place where he could take a shower. I, I'm gonna be honest. I would love to see this story through the eyes of all the people around. Yeah.

And the colleague. And the guy, yeah. I wanna see this story from a few other sources before I believe that a guy sat down and piss. Yes. And then just sat there and got drunk and then took his pants off later on in the night and just I'd love to see a Rashomon style breakdown of this where we just get a bunch of different perspectives.

I love the OP though, just going like we need empathy. You're not showing empathy for this situation. And we are being gentlemen. And it's like, it's that psychotic. Yeah, free food. They wanted free food. And again, if I sat and piss, I would leave. I actually probably wouldn't have ordered the food. Yeah.

How did he put the order in? But like after he realized that that he absolutely did it. He did. He must have because, yeah, I just I just don't know how you could sit in it. And for long enough for it to be, you know, I think you would sit and just immediately get up and then it would, you know, then it would just be a little bit of a problem. Like, I'm just picturing. OK, so the guy sits down in a piss. He's like, my ass is wet. There must be water on this seat. And then another guy has to come around and smell his ass to see if it's his correct. Correct. He smells his ass, which is a little bit strange.

Normally you wouldn't, he'd be smelling the asshole for shit in this case. Just like the asshole. Very. Sausage. Yeah. Or sausage. So maybe he, I'm going to be generous and say, I guess he sat down and the piss smell wafted up after a few minutes. No, that's what I'm thinking. I don't know.

Now you're in a, you're in a pizza place. Is this smells in there going to overpower piss? Definitely. I'm really confused by how the piss happened. And if it is, I think it's his. Yeah, he beat himself. I think he was like, oh, I'm sitting in piss. It's like, yeah, if he had a crap himself. There's also that. Yeah. So then I'm saying my colleague became intoxicated.

It's like, and look, it's, it's their fault because of the empathy. He had no other choice but to drown in sorrows. Yeah. He had been shown zero empathy by the pizza, pizzeria owners when he sat in piss. He's got no other choice but to get extremely blackout drunk. I mean, whatever happens to him, they have some responsibility for if he hurts himself or whatever. Yeah. Ask Reddit. They ask, what's the best frozen pizza that a person can buy in the US? And Digital Clutter says Motor City and Chicago Home Run-In are the two best frozen pizzas I've ever had. SC Scuba says, the most impressive thing to me about home run in frozen pizza is

that the parts of the pizza sauce, cheese, dough, toppings are basically just made with the ingredients and takes to makes them like the dough is flour, salt, yeast, water, not 9,000 unpronounceable chemicals. Perfect percentage 69 replies that and says, so their pizzas don't contain any sodium chloride or dihydrogen monoxide. No joke. A law cat response then says, you don't sound nearly as smart as you think you do. What?

You're just goofing around. I think he's trying to even sound smart. Well, yeah, now he has to respond to this and goes, then it's a good thing I wasn't trying to sound smart. There's no need for personal attacks. I'm just counter arguing by example against the notion that it's impressive when manufacturers use plain English names instead of scientifically accurate ones for their ingredients. To me, it just means they're better at marketing or that they are dumb. So he was trying to sound smart because he was saying like the chemical like name version of the things that are that he said of those ingredients.

Like salt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see. So he was trying to sound smart. I'm just so dumb that I didn't even realize he was trying to sound smart because I'm not smart enough. Another guy replies to him and goes, you're not a very liked person, are you? That's a really good, that's pretty cutting. It's so universal.

It's so like it goes all the way to your soul. Yeah. Well then I guess I'll vote Michelle Obama over here worried about the crazy chemicals and frozen pizza. Wait till she finds out what the crazy chemicals they wash kale with the neutralize all the people poop and decomposing rodent bacteria and it's been growing next to over the last 12 weeks. So Oh shit and you know that that soy boy likes kale. Oh yeah I mean that's what all unfunny

people love. Yeah I don't mind kale. I like kale. I prefer spinach though. I'm kind of a spinach guy myself, you know Yeah, I do use spinach instead of lettuce. I use spinach Exclusively, we only have spinach in this home now I use it in my smoothies in the morning and then I'll just have like a very simple spinach salad with my lunch and dinner You know, he goes everyone gassing up home run in. And I'm like, damn, that's one of the pizzas I absolutely didn't like. On the other hand, Motor City, specifically the Supreme,

is my go-to frozen pizza over any other. And Sandcrust, freeze leftovers and they heat back up perfectly. So this man. Are these, are these like nationwide? Like, do you guys, I've never heard of these. I get them. I've seen Motor City, yeah. They have them at stores. do you guys I've never heard of these I get I've seen Motor City. Yeah Stores, but you guys haven't eaten them. Have either of you eaten them. I don't like

It's like the sandwich thing about me It's like, you know how we can go into a store and they have pre-made sandwiches like wrapped in saran. I can't eat that I don't care if every piece of its delicious. I just can't eat it because it's already been made. I need to see them made. And it's the same thing with frozen peas. I just, I can't. But you eat a lot of stuff that does get made before, right? Yeah, everything gets made before.

Yeah, that's what I mean. But it's like certain things that you just can't. I don't eat a lot of frozen food. I don't even, I haven't had, this is gonna sound so Not the way I want it to sound but I'm gonna say it. I haven't had a microwave since like the early 2000s. Oh Wow. Yeah, I'm not a microwave guy. I just don't have one. I'm a foodie. Oh Wow Lottie fucking dog. Geez Louie. I had no idea

Who the kind of guy you are. You know, I mean, that's why you have you haven't had a microwave. I haven't had a microwave in decades. Like, isn't there you've never feel the need for it? And I don't know what I would do with it. Oh, did you not? I guess what about like just heating up things when when when was a baby? I use the oven,

which is a thing that people use to heat things up. It gets no, but like, you know, like just a, uh, whatever, heating up the bottle or water. And you put the bottle in the boiling water. Okay. Yeah. You should wait. I just wanted to tell you that Barst pizza did do a one-bite review of motor City pizza frozen How did you I don't know I just found it but you can see his little gross face. It's awesome. Yeah This guy goes I chopped a piece he goes Okay, who the hell freezes leftover frozen pizza that that shit isn't

surviving through the night in my house, which is a good point. Like, so you cook the frozen pizza and then you freeze it again and you cook it. That's strange. That's not a normal person thing to do. You know, I've never done that in my life. I've eaten frozen pizza. I've never done that in my life. How about this? How about this one?

I chopped the pizza while it's frozen and only cook what I need. Keep the other half uncooked for the next meal. That's smart. If you're a single guy. That's disgusting. Well, I know, but I didn't say, you know, you guys know, I'm not one, you know that I have a, I'm having a family and everything. But if you're a single guy and you can't eat a whole pizza, like we just discussed, you're not going to like make it and then re freeze it or like, you know, and then cook it again. Like that's nasty. So this person is actually being kind of smart. Well, the next guy goes single guy, man, I

can't eat an entire one of those nor should I. And I just all, I was like, this guy's working in the sub Reddit. You're probably trying to trick some nice couple in the lifestyle. Hey, I'd love to, you know, I only eat a half a pizza, but I could cut it down to a third if you and your wife want to come over and share it. Discuss me a Chris. I got to say this for the people that don't have the Patriot, because this is maybe one of my favorite things. We talked about a hypothetical guy

who is a single guy, but gets a picture of a woman and says it's his widow. Yeah. And hangs it up in the playroom. He puts the IP. I mean, it really turned into that. It we first, it was just the idea that we was that not on a main episode. No, that was that was on a video that was on the most. It was on a Patreon episode from September 20th. Actually, yeah, that that that was really the idea that because you're just trying

to trick the staff in the front, you know, to like, hey, like I'm not a single guy. I'm a widower and this is my wife and she's passed away or whatever and then using it to a Framed picture hanging up in a VIP room at the swinger club. So my wife all she wanted her dying wish was You and I and your wife or her to watch for me to have sex. So anyway, pizza jokes. Let's get out of here. Let's get some jokes and get out of here. You know, yeah, I love jokes at Greg Dean.

Greg Dean knows how to write a fucking joke. Oh, yeah. This guy. Number one goes, I love pizza from my head to my toes, to tomatoes, to my toes, to my toes. To my heart. It really is hard to say, but I get it. Hey, that one isn't hurting anyone. That's kind of fun, you know.

It's hard to say. It's hard to it's like a reader. It's more of a reader. It's more one to read. It's one to read. I've more of a reader. It's more one to read. It's one to read. I've never sausage a good, a beautiful pizza. Sausage. Sausage. Sausage. Sausage. A beautiful pizza. I never sausage in my asshole in and out, in and out, in and out until it hits prostate. Brian, just you just, you know, you did that thing where, you know, you were like, you just you got a little too nasty at the end of the thing.

Sometimes that happens. I don't know. It's that guy earlier in the episode in our pizza. He fucking put that in my head. Sometimes I'm Jake. Hey, say, hey, Kathy. Hello. He sometimes Brian does it much more on the Patreon. I think he feels more comfortable doing it on the Patreon. It is less people listening, but you'll just sometimes say like such nasty shit and it like it catches me off guard like less now.

But the first couple of times he did it, you know, where he's like really sort of graphics actually about, Oh, it's weird. Well, this comes out after you, you told Joe para about me sucking on my girlfriend's titties for three hours and that was bad. That was bad news. You're embarrassed. You don't edit it, so it will not be edited out. I've run out of pizza puns. I can only do so many. Can only is not a pizza though.

Yeah, no. I know that it can always not a pizza, right? Here's one. You guys got to help me out with this. Okay. My career is in pizzas. Pieces. Pieces. But that one. Yeah, that one I would say isn't isn't is very strong. Believing in pizza puns is a matter of crust. Trust.

This is getting crud. Wait, crust is trust. Hmm. I. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust synonymous with pizza. If I had a pizzeria, I'd give away old slices to the needy KNEA. You barely need pizza dough. You just do a little, just a little bit. Stop being so saucy with the pizza puns. Yeah, that one's low effort. My doctor told me to watch my carbs.

So I'm cutting pizza into 16 slices instead of eight. Okay. Yeah. I mean, whatever, man. How many of these you got, or can we take one more? Let's just do one more. Every time a new pizza delivery man comes to the door and notices the smell of the last

pizza man, they storm off. It's an unfortunate domino effect. Because the restaurant, I love walking, long walk. So long. I love ending the episode with jokes though, because it just brings the mood down completely. Yeah, really. We were having so much fun. And what we do, what we do then is, hey, if you want more stuff, you go to Patreon. Yeah, now you're like, now that you're like, seriously bummed out about the stuff we do, do you want to go listen to more? Yeah, you should. You should.

Eva, do you have anything you want to plug? I want to plug this thing I just discovered, which is the one by app for your phone. I heard about its reviews from Portnoy, but also fan reviews and There's yeah, so I'm gonna download that as soon as we hang up and get really into that Do is that sorry you talking about you talking Jeff Portnoy from Tropic Thunder or yes Jeff or Dave Jeff or Dave it's either one of the two when you say port. Yeah, you're right I should have been more specific. So anyway, that's all I want to plug right now. Let me check something I'm gonna see if portnoy's been to Vancouver. Oh

Yeah Vancouver Oh yummy slice pizza commercial Drive Vancouver. Oh,. Vancouver. Oh, yummy slice pizza commercial drive Vancouver. Oh, I got a 2.3 Chris not a good pizza place. I used to live on commercial drive and it's not good and it's not known as being good. I don't know why you'd go there. That's what you're best. The best pizza in your city if you need help is Vancouver pizza. That's on 2219 Main Street, Vancouver, Washington. Sorry. That's a 7.4. I was going to say that's not, we've never heard of that. The best pizza in Vancouver is Supreme Pizza Vancouver. That's at 6539 Victoria Drive,

Vancouver, British Columbia. It's got a 7.2 based on five reviews. It's only like that one. Okay. Never been there. You should go there Chris and report back. I'll look at Columbus. I already know the best pizza in Columbus. I mean, there, Chris, and report back. I'll look at Columbus. I already know the best pizza in Columbus. I mean, come on. It's all good. We got Eva. Eva, you live in Los Angeles. Yeah, we've got Pizzeria Bianca, which is the one of the great like it's from Phoenix.

But we have an outpost here that people say is really good. Haven't been yet. Yeah, they don't. This place doesn't understand our pizza unfortunately, so I guess I guess we got to go because I'm not going to read any of these reviews because they're all lies because they don't understand the style of pizza we do. Tell me what sorry you're telling me the reviews are so bad on your pizza. You're not even willing to review like to read them on the podcast and make any sense. They don't make any goddamn. Oh, wait a minute.

Bren's pizza. That's got a 6.7 guys. I just had a Bren's order. That was a never again. Never again. Explain why. Sorry, Eva. If you have to go to life. Why? Why? Why? What happened? What was wrong with it? Oh, you will not believe this. This is like the guy that sat in and I didn't see it in any piss. And here's the fucking hammer. When Dan Lakata came to town, I took him to brands. So try. Yeah, it's fantastic. And it was it was very good. So we we ordered brands. My wife gets a text, maybe like 10 minutes after we ordered, Hey, this is door dash. We're wondering about your order. We didn't order on door dash and didn't use door dash. So how the fuck am I supposed to know that they were like, Oh, we're down a driver. So we're using door dash. They just pushed my order to door dash. Listen, I wouldn't order if it was door dash because one door dash doesn't have priority

delivery. And I always get priority delivery. I always pay that 299 because you know how many stops they're going to take. That's dopey shit, man. And gets it there like five minutes earlier. Exactly. Exactly. Five minutes is a world of difference. So anyway, they give it to this guy and I call and I'm like, why is door dash contacting my wife? Is this like a fishing thing? Because we didn't use door dash. Not helpful at all. Guys, I guess my first day. And let me get it to the manager.

Manager comes on. Oh, no, man. I mean, you know, we're using door dash. Why are you white? I like that's not fair. I feel like you didn't sound I feel like you're making it sound. I feel like you make him sound like a really dumb guy. But was sounded similar. Were they related? No, the other guy sounded more like I um, I, this is my first day.

I'll, uh, I'll get a hold of it. I'll get the manager and he sounds a little smarter. Oh, hey, uh, yeah, we're using door dash. We're down one. We're down to one draw and I don't care what you're down to. I don't want your door dash pizza. And I said, can I cancel it? And he said, no, sorry.

I was or dash guy. Yeah. I can't pizza gets here. It's the worst pizza I've ever had. It's almost all sauce. My wife got a small individual pizza and there were only cheese on the two pieces in the middle. Cause we cut them in squares here. I don't know if people know that. We cut them in little rectangle squares. She only got, and I, there was almost no cheese on mine.

Totally fucking burnt. And so there was this time back in, I'd have to say 1998 or 99. Yeah, no, no. What the fuck? Why are we going back? We got to go back in time to understand this story. We made a pizza hut order. Okay. Me and my wife and my old roommate, we're going to watch survivor. What was the old roommate's name? Nate. It was not. I never lived with porno, Sean, Chris and now.

And so Nate was Nate was like your third. No, no, no, no. Nate had a girlfriend. The whole reason the whole thing. Oh, that's that's helpful. Yeah, we can do full swap now. But the only. The only the only reason the thing fell apart is because Nate had a girlfriend. He moved her in and she's eating all the food and not paying,

you know, a quarter of the rent. Yeah, that does become a problem. The roommate brings the partner over and the partner is not paying their share. I think that's a that's an old story for sure. And it got in a whole fight with my wife and then there was a sidewalk chalk incident and a couple other things. What was the sidewalk chalk incident? He wrote nasty stuff about my wife and sidewalk chalk on the back porch before he moved out. Nasty? Very nasty, as nasty as possible. So then my friend came over and took a picture of it and

gave me a floppy disc of it floppy. Oh, it was 98. Yeah, it was in that 98 99 period. So anyway, we order pizza while we're watching survivor on a on live because we're big survivor heads. And this pizza gets delivered Pizza Hut. It's half. Half of it has no toppings at all. When I say no toppings, no sauce, no cheese, no pepperoni, nothing completely empty of anything. So it's like, that's unacceptable, right? You gotta call back and complain. So we're like, Hey, fucking pizza. Half of it doesn't have any toppings or anything on any other half does We'll get you one right out ASAP

These motherfuckers deliver a pizza to my fucking apartment. That is only half pizza Half toppings and the other half has no toppings as though they finished the pizza for us Instead of spending just a whole pizza it ruined the meal because you can't eat it. You can't eat like that. You can't eat one or two pieces, wait 45 minutes and eat one or two pieces. That's crazy. Wait, so half the box is just loose toppings? Half the box had nothing.

There was, okay, half of the pizza was nothing. There was just nothing on it. Like it was just bread bread. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the other half was a normal pizza.

But the fact it looked like it felt like the original one. Did it look like he like carry it was carried up and it fell down or was made that way? No, it was made that way. I don't know how it happened. Like I don't for all this time. I still wonder how this happened. Because it's not like it's not like nowadays either where you you know, you can do those

weird make a mistake online where you're like half pizza plane plane and you like a checkout. No, you just ordered a pizza with your voice over the phone, right? Already pizza. I caught 8951111, which was the Pizza Hut number at the time here. And I ordered a pepperoni pizza for my wife and my friend, Nate. I have his girlfriend. She wasn't allowed to have none of it. I have a question about this is because I'm starting to come up with a theory. Now the people who when they answered, were they like, were they teenagers working?

Possibly. But I think were they snickering at all? Dude, I kind of feel like my impression they were making fun of me like no, it might have been just a funny prank that they thought, you know what I mean? They're like kids like working at and they make it like, we'll just give it a half and then wait till they call back and then we'll send the other half of the pizza. It feels like that's what it felt like. I haven't had pizza hut since I will never eat that shit again. It was a never again moment and I didn't do it ever again.

I haven't had pizza since 19 not pizza since 1998 and I won't ever. I will die not having had you are going to say and I want it bad. I just sometimes crazy. I do kind of sometimes crazy, But actually prepping this episode really helped with that because they were all like pizza has gone downhill since the 90s, which it has. It has. It has. It might not. No, it has. It has. No, Brian, at least it has.

Definitely. In my opinion, it's heyday was in the like late 90s, early 2000s for sure We things were different back then people didn't eat good food back. Okay, so hang on though You're so we got to get back to the original So the brands is just that never again just like pizza and I'll die before having it ever again I'll never and I hope they go out of fucking business tomorrow. Hey, relax You're going you're too hyped on this. It's not it's not worth this. They were only trying to get you the pizza that like burned and like weirdly, the goddamn thing was burned, but also not cold, but not hot. But it may this is a mistake. They fucked up, man. They made a mistake. But you say you've been there before and they and they've you've had good pizza. Some of the best pizza I've ever had in my life. So then buddy, I'm telling you, you do not let this one incident like you're doing this

or the door dash things. The problem. Everything I get it. I get it. But you understand that their heart is in the right place there. They're like, we don't have enough delivery drivers and we want to get this guy his pizza as soon as possible versus having him wait longer. So this is the way we're going to deal with it because they, we want hitting him to get this guy his pizza as soon as possible versus having him wait longer. So this is the way we're going to deal with it because they we want him to get the pizza. Maybe also there was only one driver because something happened in the kitchen and a bunch of drivers were making your pizza. Oh, somebody wasn't there.

Exactly. That's a very good theory. Some of the other drivers, something happened to someone in the kitchen. Maybe maybe somebody got seriously hurt or how about this Brian? What the fuck you hope they got hurt before the stuff happened No I I would say please rethink this Brian. I'm not even joking around. I'm mad. I'm still mad about it from Sunday This was Sunday. You know what happened? You need to calm down.

You need to have Sunday Chris. I don't know. My foot was broken because I looked at a van. Wow. I don't even think it's broken. It's something. Yeah, but I'm like sad, right? I'm like, yeah.

I would love to have a good pizza experience. I had a horrible pizza. Wait a second. This is fucked, man. You are one of the people we make fun of right now in this moment, because what you're telling me is that you fucking stepped in a pothole looking at a red van and broke your foot. You're in such an awful mood that you then fucking are taking it out

on this business for doing something really not that bad. They fucked up one pizza one nasty pizza and lied to me about how they were getting it to me. Lie to you. We gotta go. You're really here. I don't deal with liars. I don't like them. People are. No, you gotta we gotta get off the episode now. You're really coming across me in here. They made me mad and I apologize. They're lucky I don't have my violence gang anymore.

Oh my God, yeah, we don't need to. Ryan used to beat people up randomly with a violence gang. Come on, it wasn't like that. Violence gang. If I still had my mafia, I would have handled this. When I was 14, I had a mafia. Well, I hope you can settle down about this and eat the pizza that you really like again, because

okay. You could write a song about it, Brian. I don't write songs anymore. And you could, you could get back into it writing about the pizza. That's a really good point to write like a song kind of just like, you know, like you dare to lie to me. You see how I'm sad. You see, I am Brian.

I am the saddest man in the world. That sounded like I'm the saddest man in the world. I'll never eat your pizza again. I'll never eat the pizza again. I loved it. All right. We're going never eat the pizza again. I loved it. All right. We're going to get our patronet.com slash murder. X Brian.

Going to be some video content coming soon. Very fun. So it's already up. Is it? No, this episode. This episode comes out in October. But in November, you will be offered a new tier where you will get video. You will get episodes of Holy Boys.

You will get episodes of Budfest, all new episodes of old series. March Madness, Brace and Brian. It's an $8 tier. Don't worry. It's a bucks and you're not going to miss out on anything. Everything else is still there. You're still going to get the stream for free. And but you're going to be able to get more too hot for Twitch stuff. We did watch. I mean, a very important video yesterday about the difference between the Sibian and the motor bunny. And it was pornographic at times extremely almost more, but she was wearing clothes. So it's fine.

Um, I'll see you next week. Goodbye. Bye.