GYM GIRLS LOCKER ROOM - Ella Mintram (@elmint) Unpacks Toxic Body Trends, the Fight for Size Representation, and the Path to Real Self-Empowerment

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

S2EP8 - Welcoming Ella Mintram (@elmint) to the Gym Girls Locker Room! This episode is for every single girl out there, we have all struggled and continue to struggle with accepting ourselves, especially with the existence of social media. El is a true light in the dark looking to promote loving yourself unconditionally and it shows in this conversation all about her personal journey on and offline, the concept of 'body trends', representation within the fitness space, navigating comfort zones and exercising for joy and her love for sport. We hope you enjoy and remember to tune in every Tuesday for a new episode.💘 join the GGLR community:INSTA - https://www.instagram.com/gymgirlslockerroom/FACEBOOK COMMUNITY PAGE - https://bit.ly/3TqhxDGTIKTOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@gymgirlslockerroom/📲 find Syd on socials:INSTA - https://www.instagram.com/sydgrows/TIKTOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@sydgrows/ Want to work with Gym Girls Locker Room? Email us: [e-mail] - 10% off code: SYDNEY10ESN - 10% off code: SYDNEY

Hello and welcome back to the Gym Girls Lock-in Podcast hosted by me, Sydney Cassidy. Boy oh boy, it's been a while. Hi guys, I am so glad to be back. We took a little bit of an unplanned break, but I am pleased to tell you we are here, back with the rest of season two and I genuinely can't wait to share these conversations with you. We have been sat on them for a while now and honestly it's kind of rude not to share. Still, I'm so excited to like listen back and just hear everything that kind of went down because we had some really amazing varied conversations

and yeah. First of all how are you guys? I hope you're well. I feel like life is beautiful right now if you're in the northern hemisphere. It is fast approaching summertime. I don't know everything's blooming. Everything's feeling good. Feeling like we're growing, feeling like we're evolving. I feel like everyone's got a spring in this episode. Can't complain really, cannot complain. In this episode, we're joined by content creator and fitness coach Ella Mintram, also known as Elmint. Elle shares her journey to body confidence

and the importance of enjoying fitness on your own terms, beyond societal pressure. We dive into body positivity versus body neutrality, the challenges of self-acceptance in the age of social media and the impact of trends like Ozempic. With insight on therapy, self-work and representation in fitness, this episode is packed with empowering advice

and I know you guys are gonna love it. Hope you enjoy. Remember to give us a follow and leave us a rating if you do enjoy the episode. I am so glad to be back. Let's get into it. Elle, thanks for joining. What is your workout split?

Oh my God, this is low key embarrassing. I have not done a leg day. Actually, I did one leg day this year. So I don't train legs. My very much mentality towards fitness is if I'm not enjoying it, I'm not freaking doing it. Legs I don't enjoy, so I don't do it. So at the moment, I normally do a push pull

and then I swim four times a week, which is very different. I feel like no one really swims and everyone always says to me, like, what are you training for? Why are you swimming so much? I'm like, I just enjoy going swimming. That's literally the only reason.

Everyone for some reason thinks I'm training for an Ironman, which I couldn't imagine anything worse. The thought of me doing it, I think I'd actually rather die. I just swim a lot now and go to the gym. Sometimes three times a week, if I wanna just have like a little full body day, just like mess around.

But yeah, twice a week at the gym, push, pull, and then four times swimming, which is a lot of swimming. And I cannot work out the hair washing schedule. It's literally driving me crazy. Oh my God, no, could not imagine. I love that because I feel like I was even thinking to myself recently,

I create all these unwritten rules in my head. I'm just like, no, I must do X, Y and Z. And it's like, no, you don't actually have to. Like recently I've always been a religious, like the girls listening will know, like I've literally always been religiously, like push, pull, legs, push, pull, legs, push, pull, legs. And like recently I've just been like,

mm, no, I don't wanna do that. So I've been doing three or four full body days, and I just frolic around. I'm like, oh, what should we do right now? What should we do right now? Just because sometimes it is actually just about making sure you're enjoying yourself when you're going. I do think I should look into doing a full body day to be honest, just to get the legs moving a

little bit. I did actually do one quad exercise yesterday, which was quite a big thing for me. That was only because every single machine was taken. I do think I need to look into a bit of full body because I just, I always say, okay, we're going to do legs this week. And it just never happened. And I'm just like, I'd rather in my head, I'd just rather do an extra swim than do legs. And I don't know if it's just me. I always see people's glute transformations and I'm just like, I'd rather in my head, I'd just rather do an extra swim than do legs. And I don't know if it's just me. I always see people's glute transformations and I'm like big sleigh, but that took you like four years and I don't enjoy legs enough to be consistent. That's never going to be me.

And I'm actually like so fine with that now. I will just have a flat bum and I'm so fine with that. As long as I'm enjoying what I'm doing, then I'm happy because I literally will hate the entire leg day. And I think most people probably relate with that, but most people just get it done. That's not me. I can't just get it done. No, no, so fair. I do think to myself often when I hear people saying, and like even when I hear myself saying like, oh, I don't like this thing. I don't like legs. It's like, do you or do you just not like the things that you do? Like I wonder if there are certain

exercises where if you said to yourself like, oh, actually I do really enjoy doing this. Like obviously with legs, you could do literally anything. Like you could, yeah, okay, you could do like a leg extension machine, but you could also do like box jumps and you could also do like a sled push. Like they're all completely different.

I wonder if there's something out there for you. No, this is why I think full body would actually really work. So I actually love a leg press. Love, love, love a leg press. But I think it's that idea. I was gonna say that society puts us, but I think it's just the whole gym community

of being like, it has to be the most optimum split ever. You have to be getting the most gains possible. I'm like, I actually don't care. So I would actually like to train my legs like little bits at a time. And yeah, I feel like anything is better than nothing that we've had for the last like two years. I'm like, even if I just included a leg press once a week, it'd be more than I'm doing it already.

So no harm. No, I hear you so much because like, literally I was the exact same, like part of the reason why I've been like, okay, maybe I should do full body is because where I would separate into like body parts and then I'd miss a training day because I throwing another sport into the running or life.

Yeah, I would just miss a day. And then I'd be like, hang on a minute. I'm not training for example, back. I'm actually skipping that and I've not done it for two weeks. So I thought let's do little and often a little bit more. It's not that deep. I honestly feel like people underestimate just like

how much impact frequency can have and that it doesn't have to be like the most optimal, like you say. Sometimes just doing it. Your progress as well has been fricking insane over the last few months. Your cut, I was like, when I saw you in Manchester, your abs, I was like, Sid has got abs popping in my face.

What? I know. And I think that's like consistency. Like the last time I got, not as much as this, but the last time I got, when I kind of first started creating, that's when I was like really into exercise and I was training five days a week.

Now I'm training like on average four to five, but honestly for the past, like I'll be so real as a gym creator, for the past like a year or so with like the challenges that I've had, like with life just being thrown at me, you know, some days it would be two days a week, some days it might be some weeks, sorry, it might be one. So I think like actually that's why I say like,

don't underestimate the power of just like actually being a more frequent exerciser, you know? Like I think that's where a lot of my progress has come. So it's like, sometimes my answer isn't really like, oh yeah, I did this and then I did this. So I just did more of it. It's just like what actually makes you go. Like what actually makes you show up.

Cause if you're telling yourself, I'm gonna do this amazing six day split and I'm gonna do legs twice, pull twice, push twice. If you did that, perfect. Like, you're gonna get so strong, you're gonna like reach your goal so quickly. But if we're talking realistically, we're humans, we are not like 16 year olds anymore,

we actually have responsibilities. I can't just be like, okay, every single Friday, I'm gonna 100% be here because who knows what I'm gonna be doing. And I think it's actually just doing whatever realistically means you can show up for yourself. I actually only introduced swimming. I want to say like, actually quite a long time ago now. I keep thinking it was like yesterday, but it was like five months ago now. When I say before I would like started swimming, I would get anxiety

towards going to the gym. I never wanted to go like whenever I had to go to the gym, I would be like, oh my God, it felt like such a chore. I never ever actually wanted to be there. Put swimming in, all of a sudden, I'm so excited. I wake up, like today is a swimming day. I'm so excited to go swimming. All I'm thinking about all day is like, oh my God, I'm so excited to go.

Because I've done that, my love for the gym has also come back, so I don't feel like I'm forcing it. And it actually has lit this spark inside of me, which is why I push so much online and the girls that I coach, just do what you enjoy. That is what is the most important thing, because if you don't enjoy it, you're gonna continually make, not excuses,

but you're not gonna go out of your way to make time for it. And I think that is the most important thing, 100%. Yeah, no, definitely. It's like things aren't so in flow. It's just everything that's gonna, you're gonna be met with resistance with like every damn thing and decision You're gonna have to make if it just doesn't feel right. I want to come back to the swimming

The swimming will have her time I really need to like dive into this But I also just feel like it kind of makes sense to kind of say like what? For the girlies listening that like maybe aren't familiar with you Like would you say that that is like what your key messaging is like what would you say your like mission statement is? That's one of the smaller ones even though that's not small but I think my main thing that I really really really try to push like through my social media and just like online in general is trying to help women that don't feel confident in their body feel like they can actually show up for themselves.

I have had many, many issues in my past, like since what, maybe the age of 13. I have older brothers that like to call me fat, like to call me names, everything like that. So I've always been very aware of my weight. And I think the fact I was so aware of my weight made it really difficult to like manage my weight or wherever. So when I was younger, when I say I used to difficult to like manage my weight or wherever ever like so when I was younger When I say I used to go through every diet you've ever thought of I used to go to Slimming World when I was like 14 like off my own back my mum didn't even know I did that sorry mum But like I would do every single diet you've ever thought of I feel like lockdown was the Turning point for a lot of people and for me it was in a negative way

But I think it's actually come out really positively. I basically broke up with my ex basically. So my ex had two girlfriends at the same time. We're now actually like, we know each other. I wouldn't say we're friends, but like we're like mutuals, like we know each other. If I saw her on the street, I'd say hi. Like no issues with that girl. But at the time she was really, really slim

and I was like bigger. I was very insecure at the time and I was like, I need to change myself. I need to change my body and then he's gonna want me. And that kind of like my end goal is oh if i lose all this weight i dyed my hair brown because she had brown hair and like i was like if i basically morph into this girl he'll like me and i really hope he never listens to this because that's like really makes me feel a bit cringy like i did that so basically i like just got to the point i was like i need to lose all this weight i think all of us understand the whole thing of like calories in calories out. That's how you lose weight

But I took that very literally and I was like, well if I exercise non-stop and if I eat nothing Then I'm gonna lose so much weight, which obviously I did didn't really realize didn't really know anything about eating disorders And I literally gave myself the worst in eating disorder. I was very like restrictive Pretty much. I just had so many issues with my body for maybe three years. Got a therapist who was basically like, girl, what the fuck? What are you actually doing right now?

You need to stop doing this. And I basically healed through having a therapist. And ever since that, I've just been constantly building on my confidence and just teaching myself that actually I didn't need to ever change myself. And now I genuinely feel 110% confident in my body. Like I don't even look at my body as something that should be attractive.

I just look at it as that's just, this is my life. And I kind of think that's quite like, nice way of seeing it is like, my body doesn't have to look a certain way to be able to do X, Y, Z. And I don't need to look a certain way to be attractive to people or anything like that. Like it's just a body. Like that is quite literally all it is. It doesn't have to look good. It doesn't need to look a certain way to be attractive to people or anything like that. It's just a body.

That is quite literally all it is. It doesn't have to look good. It doesn't have to look bad. It just has to exist. I think that's the kind of messaging I try and push. A lot of my audience, I feel like how I used to be and are very not secure in themselves. They don't want to go to the gym because they feel insecure that someone's looking at them and they just don't feel confident in that own body. And what I basically just try and push is there's

no reason for you to not feel confident in your own body. And like that all comes from inside. And like, I think a lot of like fitness stuff on social media is very much about, let me shred as much as possible or like perform as best as possible. There's no issue with that at all. Like, I think that's content for a very different audience, but I think there's such a big missing gap in fitness. I think the average dress size for women in the UK is a size 16. And the majority, I would say like 99%

of fitness content creators are probably like a size 10 or less, so, so tiny. And Slay, that's probably what your like goal is. And I'm so proud of you for getting there, but I think it's so important to have someone to look up to that is doing the things you wanna do in the body that actually looks like you. And I get so many comments all the time of being like,

I've never seen someone at the gym filming content, like every other fitness content creator like you do. And it's like a breath of fresh air, I think to quite a lot of people. And I think by people seeing me looking happy in my body, like wearing the things they could only, like they'd never thought they'd be able to wear. It gives people that little bit of confidence

of being like, she's doing it. She looks incredible. Why can't I do it? And yeah, I just think it's so important to have someone that looks like you to look up to kind of thing. And I just think if back in important to have someone that looks like you to look up to kind of thing. And I just think if back in the day, in like 2020, there was someone doing what I did,

I don't think if I followed them, I would have been so harsh on myself and have spiralled into as many issues as I did. I feel like I literally just replied to your tiny little question with like war and peace. But- That's what a podcast for. Don't worry. I was just listening, listening in awe to everything you just said there.

Like I think it's so incredible. I think like that messaging does come like so clearly through your socials. I want to touch on just because I feel like it's like a relevant place to ask. Like when you say like jumping back to like that kind of place where like you started getting therapy and you kind of started to actually really, you found it really beneficial. And you kind of started to really accept yourself.

I think for so many of us women, myself included, and probably every single person listening, being aware of your body and being self-conscious and putting apart all these different pieces about yourself is just like a very real struggle that we all seem to go through. To me, I just feel like not accepting my body fully as it is, is just going to be a part

of like my human experience. And I couldn't even, I couldn't even really imagine a time where I will ever be satisfied with how I look. I love what you're saying about your body is fabulous and incredible just because it is. And if it's nothing more than like just, you know, serving as a vessel, then that's like good enough. How do you actually get to that point?

What's that journey like? It's the million dollar question, I will say. And I will say very openly, I'm still working on it. Like, I don't wanna be here and be like, I am the founder of all knowledge, body positivity. I have no issues ever. Like, there are still some days that I'm like, do not feel good to myself.

Or like, I always find it's when I come back from a holiday and I feel like I've had this like, am I amazing, relaxing time. And I come back and I'm like, oh, all of a sudden I don't feel good about myself which is really strange because I've just been living life in a bikini for the last two weeks and I felt incredible. But I think it's genuinely and it's always in the work that people do not want to do I will say. And I used to be this outside person and I think one really good thing that I had with my therapist literally shout out to her my life would be so different if I

didn't have my therapist. I think what's so important if you do have the money for a therapist is finding someone that resembles the life that you have. My therapist had the same eating disorders as me, she had the same body dysmorphia issues as me, so she really got it. And I've had other therapists in the past that I've spoken to that I just felt like a bit of an idiot when I was speaking to them and I was like they just didn't seem to understand so i think it's definitely finding the right person that's been through the issues you've had and have come out the other side but genuinely when i say the majority of like i think myself growth has come from calling myself out and i think all of us have that negative voice in our heads that's constantly like i'm not good enough oh my god like i could be

more shredded than this i'm gonna got this little bit of fat on this area. and if i was stood opposite from my friend and she was there like, i don't feel good about myself, would i be pointing at her and saying like, oh like look at that bit of belly on you or look at that? like, i would never in my life say that because i'm not a dick. so why am i saying that to myself? and i think the more i started realising my behaviours that I was having towards my own self and my own body is where I started actually realising I am the issue. Like I can't blame anybody else. And I think a lot of the things are, it's so easy in this life to be like, oh, it's my issues with my body are because there's a model in the magazine

that looks like incredible or like, and I'm comparing myself but you're the only person that can stop yourself comparing yourself as much as it's so hard and it's something that's like, as I said, I've been working on it for what three years now and I'm still working on it. It's really calling your own brain out and being like, I shouldn't be saying that to myself. Like that's really nasty. And I just have this thing that I would just be like, in my brain, I've just like learned how to just like blank it. And as soon as I hear myself saying something nasty, or something that I just personally think is so unproductive, I would just like shut up, stop talking like it's not productive, you're making yourself feel crap for no reason. I think it just comes from like a lot as well as that just self

work. And I say that as like, a lot of people aren't prepared to do it. And there's something I always say to my clients is you could buy the most incredible life changing book in the entire world. But if you never open that book and read it from start to finish, it's not gonna be a life changing book to you. You have to do the work to reap the benefits. And I think so many people are so like, open to being like, oh my God, I'm gonna buy every single self-love book. I'm gonna buy every single book

that everyone's ever recommended. I can guarantee you the majority of them are sitting on your shelf and in your head, you've already done that work because you bought that book, but you haven't read it. And I think that's the same with every single thing in life is you have to do the work to reap any kind of benefit. And I think as well, like things like podcasts,

I have literally changed my life. Like there's a podcast called The Mindset Mentor. And when I say, if I'm having a bad day, he's probably got like thousands of episodes. And I just type it on the search bar. If I feel anxious, I'll type in anxiety. And he'll have a hundred different episodes about anxiety and why am I feeling anxious?

And then I'll just scroll through and like, oh my God, that one relates with how I'm feeling right now. and who have a hundred different episodes about anxiety and why am I feeling anxious? And then I'll just scroll through and like, oh my God, that one relates with how I'm feeling right now. And it's all about constantly teaching yourself more. And I think that's one thing about me. I never feel like I know enough about anything. So I constantly want to learn something new. I constantly want to like improve myself.

That aspect of me is why I have changed my life so much is because I'm so prepared to do the work. And I never used to be that's literally because my therapist kept drilling into me like every session is like, did you read that thing I told you to read? No. Well, why are we here then go and read it and come back to me. I just think it's actually in the work that people aren't prepared to do. So if you really do want to change your life, you have to set aside time to do yourself love books and like, if you're not a reader, cool. There's an audio book for pretty much everything. And I think it's also just like,

the more you are self aware of the behaviours you're having and like the things you're doing to yourself, the more you'll be able to call yourself out. And the more in like a year's time, you would have been so aware of them that they're not happening anymore. Cause you're realising that you are your own worst enemy kind of thing.

Awareness is arguably like the hardest and first step of anything. Like most people will spend their life kind of without even being aware of their like habits or behaviors or that sort of thing. So if you guys are at a point where you've actually become aware of like, oh, what I'm doing is unhealthy

and is kind of detrimental to, I don't know, me living like a happy sort of peaceful life, then like you've already made a huge step. I love what you're saying about the way you talk to yourself and like talking to the friend because something that I've like picked up on recently is, oh, I'm so stupid. I didn't do da da da da da.

Oh, I'm so dumb. Well, are you? I don't think that's fair to say that about yourself. I was reading a book, The Defining Decade. I honestly feel like I've referenced this book so much now in this series. But it was so amazing. It was saying that your mind hears every word you speak.

So whether or not you wanna take notice of it, deep down, it's listening, and just be aware. I also wanted to touch on, are you aware of like the phrase or like the term neuroplasticity in neuroscience? Because it really- No. It really sounds-

Am I not a neuroscientist girly? All right, well, I'm gonna really like, guys, this is really for like dummies here because I do not know what I'm talking about. So I'm just gonna like paraphrase to my understanding neuroplasticity is the idea and it sounds like this is what you've really like made a conscious effort to do over the past three years to basically it's a thing that they found out that like you can actively like change your mind and the way you think about things and that

like a lot of work and a lot of effort and repeating new sort of like ways of thinking and methods of doing things. Your brain can actually create new like neural pathways. And so that's why you see these people go through these incredible mental like transformations and things like that. And like their, you know, ways of life completely change.

It actually makes a proper like change within your mind. And that's all I know on the matter, okay? So like, if you guys are interested, definitely go and like listen to one of the experts because it is so fascinating. It's called neuroplasticity. But like, yeah, I think like just where I was getting at with that is like the idea that like actually,

you know, it's gonna take time and it takes a lot of effort, but actually there's science, like evidence-backed research to show that like real sustainable like changes, long lasting changes can be made. It's also like, you wouldn't walk into the gym. And I think a lot of the listeners will probably like relate with this, like you wouldn't walk into the gym, do a bicep curl, do 10 reps, leave and expect to have the biggest biceps in the entire

world. You know in the gym you've got to continually show up yourself, you have to be consistent. Like if you want to get those big biceps you're gonna be having to do bicep curls every single week for like years and years and that's the only way you're gonna like get those big biceps. To go to the gym and like have big muscles you'd look at someone and be like you've shown up for yourself nonstop kind of thing. But because you can't see your brain, you don't want to do the same thing. As soon as you were saying that, I was like, okay, I do. This is what I actually tell myself without even knowing it had a word. But like I always treat my brain like it's like my biceps or like it's my quads, maybe not my quads for me because I don't do legs, but anything like a muscle. Is your brain a muscle? That make me stupid? I don't

know if it is a muscle. Maybe it's an organ. I don't know. I don't know. But like I treat it like it's one of my muscles and I will constantly see it as like the more you train your brain, the stronger it's going to get, the like better you're going to get at doing things. I think especially like, I feel like a lot of girls will understand in terms of like a diet, like the first week of your diet is gonna be like feel so hard But the more you do it you're like it gets easier and easier and easier And I think that's probably like an example that a lot of people can also relate to Because I think most girls have been on a diet at some point in their life, unfortunately

I think it's just seeing your brain as something that needs just as much work as any other area of your life and like you Can't just read one self-love book and expect your entire life to be changed. You have to just expect the work that's gonna come alongside of it. And like anything, you have to put the work in to get a good result, in my opinion. Kind of staying on like social media

and like your own journey. My understanding is that you've had like quite a wild transition online. Oh my God. Yeah. Could you explain and how did your journey start on social media? I started doing makeup tutorials, how I started social media, which is so funny because I couldn't imagine anything worse, but I think it was like, I was very much

similar, but when TikTok first started, I remember one of my best friends saying, like, download it, I want to be able to send you TikToks. I was like, that's a child's app, I'm not downloading that. That's so embarrassing. And like, it then got to like, March 2020, when we all obviously went into lockdown. And I was like, you know what, I've got nothing better to do. And like, he started making like dance things. And I was like, Oh, you know what, I'll make a couple of dancing. If you know me, I do not dance any like I used to be a cheerleader for 12 years. When I say I was put at the back of every single dance and told to crouch down because I was so bad at dance, I would lose the whole team points. Like I literally could never do the dance part. So I started doing the dance and I was like, Okay, this is not for me. I was like, Oh, there's

some makeup girlies on here. Like let me try and do some makeup. I had, I really enjoyed doing makeup. but like, if you think making fitness content is draining, try and be a makeup gully, because I've got a newfound respect for a makeup gully, because oh my God, if the look doesn't look good, you have nothing to post. And that's taken you hours and hours of, so I started doing that.

And then obviously, so when I started it, I was in the middle of also having an eating disorder, like with the restrictions and stuff. a lot of people were commenting. I mean, I didn't have much reach at all, but like the couple of people that were commenting were like, oh my God, you've lost so much weight. Can you tell us how to do it? And I started then making videos about weight loss. And that's kind of where it came from.

And I got quite a lot of followers at the time for like, I think I put my following up to maybe like 10, 20K, just through posting like transformation videos, why in a day's. And this is why I constantly actually always post about social media is not real life, because I was one of the people that was posting things that were not real life. So, as I said, I had an ink sword out,

I was extremely under eating, but I knew if I posted that online, I would get called out on it. And I would then start posting things about like, white in a day, but it'd be like multiple days worth of food, just to show that I was eating enough, because I knew what I was doing was wrong. And it wasn't out of a place of being like, trying to show people the wrong thing. It was more me being like, I know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm not going to guide you doing that. But I just, I don't know, I'm doing is wrong. I'm not gonna guide you doing that. But I just, I don't know.

I look back at myself, I'm like, we could not be more different. It's maybe like a, it sounds like as well, like a kind of lack of acceptance at the time. Yes, 100%. Like that's the case you were in. I wanted everyone to like not worry about me. Cause a lot of people at home and stuff,

I remember my mum even sitting there and being like, you need to stop losing weight now. Like this doesn't look healthy. And I was like, it is healthy. And I'd be really defensive about it. And in my head note, I didn't even believe I was eating that little. I'd created this massive facade to my friends, family online, that I was just doing this so healthily. And whatever, I had an obsession with my Apple Watch, would literally go on walks around where where I live at like 12 p.m. at night, like 11 p.m. at night. I'm like, right, I haven't hit my steps, let's go on a walk, which is ridiculous,

especially being a girl in the dark, walking on my own when it's already like lockdown, no one's out there, that I look back, I'm like, oh my God, my anxiety now could actually never, I think I would not even let myself do that. I started posting about weight loss and stuff and that went on for quite a long time. That probably happened for like a year.

And then I was posting like kind of like recipes alongside like weight loss recipes. Then I started having therapy. All of a sudden my face was nowhere to be seen on my social media. Every single day I used to post a recipe. So I was a TikTok girly for so long. I actually started Instagram quite late

in comparison to everybody else. Cause I don't know what it was. TikTok, I was so fine with posting whatever. Instagram felt so embarrassing and I don't know why. Instagram is another game that I was just like, this is embarrassing, I can't do it. I was then started just posting recipes without my face in because whilst I was going through recovery, I didn't want people to know that I was gaining weight and I still did not accept the fact that I was not in a good way. So my face wasn't on my social media for maybe like eight months. And then all of a sudden I was like, actually, this is ridiculous. I cannot keep posting a new recipe every single day. I feel so drained. Again, huge shout out to

anyone that does recipes every single day. It is the most draining thing in the entire world. Oh, my goodness. So I just kind of got to the point that I was like, I can't keep living like this and not showing my face and feeling like I'm embarrassed. And at that point, I think I'd started doing like the self-love work with my therapist and being like, right, we need to actually really accept the point we're at now. And as I started posting more accepting things, I started dabbling in like, the first thing was posting my body, like I'm just posting what I look like when in my head I've had this huge pressure of Everyone's followed me because I'm a weight loss account, but they didn't know that it was unhealthy. I

Haven't told them it's unhealthy. I've randomly just gained weight and I know one's gonna go like care at all and like I Didn't this time it was nowhere near a joy I don't think I made any money off of social media at this point But like I went with my protein and I was like, they're not gonna want to work with me anymore. Like, and that was like, I was ride or die. I was, that was my only thing in life that I really cared about at that point. And yeah, so I kind of started posting more about my body. And then people were like, I got not a lot of hate, but people were coming to like, oh, so what's happened? And I was like, you know what, I think I could actually help somebody here if I actually spoke out a little bit. So I started making little videos about like kind of what happened, blah, blah,

and then it kind of just went from there that I started getting more and more confident as time went on and I started posting things like post versus un-post or like actually reacting to my old videos of my why in a day and being like, this is a lie. That like, this is why you can't believe social media and I started doing that maybe two and a half years ago before body positivity on, obviously there were a couple of accounts, but within fitness, that was not a thing.

So it was a very scary thing because nobody was doing it. And it just felt like I was just like this, what's it called? Not ugly duck, like black swan, what's the word? It's like you're not like, I don't know. But the person that was just the odd one out, everybody else was posting like how to get abs, how to do this workout tutorial and there was me like,

I've gained all this weight and like, let's try and navigate this together. I think as time went on, my audience that were there for the weight loss either went away, unfollowed me, or like were also on the same journey, because I think a lot of people had toxic relationships with food in lockdown and I've kind of just stuck posting the same kind of stuff and obviously I've got more confident I've got better at it and that is just I guess how well we are today and it's so weird to think that I am like

the polar opposite I'm now the person that calls out people that are like, that's a lie. You're editing your photo. You're doing this. I used to edit my body 24 seven and all my like photos that I was posting. And it's like, it's crazy. It's just, it's so scary

because it's so easy to fake your life online. And you could be having the worst day in the entire world. I could be having a mental breakdown and I could just post a photo from two days ago on my story and no one would ever know. It's like so easy to be so unbelievably fake. And yeah, I just try and make like that's another part of like what I do is try and make people aware that like social media just is not as it seems. And if I wanted to like lie, I could if I

wanted to say I'd run a 10k today, I could so easily do that. I could just put my shower on, get in my car, drive slowly, I've run a 10k no one's gonna know pop out a couple you know that there was a girl in america that did that that was like driving whilst like video she'd pop out her car video herself running and created a video on it it's so easy to fake literally anything like you could think like oh my god she's run a 10k she couldn't even run yesterday how incredible and then someone could sell like a workout plan based on that like i don't know I just I find the internet very scary so I just I think it's important to have a little bit of like reality sprinkled on your like view page every now and again. Definitely I think it's interesting as well I never knew that about you that like actually where you come from now because like

I've only known you since of your like kind of most like recent content that actually it's like kind of like well yeah actually I am someone that actually it's like kind of like, well, yeah, actually I am someone that can speak on the kind of Instagram versus reality because I was one of them. I didn't know that you'd had that whole arc before doing research. I used to talk that, talk about it a lot,

but I don't do it so much anymore. So I used to get loads of hate comments of being like, you're literally the issue. And I was like, but I'm now, I understand I was the issue, which is why I'm trying to like repent my sins these days. It sounds like to me, like everything you kind of explained just sounds like you've kind of been on this whole growth journey, but also I wonder like,

have you found kind of posting your story and your journey on social media quite a healing process, because it kind of sounds that way, like you've kind of, it seems like your content has evolved as your thoughts and your ideas about yourself have kind of changed. I feel like that's kind of really special and like beautiful.

I think this is like really wholesome. Like, I don't know if you do this, but I sometimes just scroll back through my content and I'm like, I find my content so interesting. I'm like, wow, I'm so good at this sometimes, like even back in the day, but it's just, I find it so interesting, like, because there are some people that have been there since the start, that like, I like know personally, because like, when I started growing, like, I'd follow everyone back and I'd be like, Oh, my God, like, they're still

here today. And like, the those people have seen every single part of my journey for the last five years. And I find that so special. I think that's special about social media, in general, when you find a creator you love, and you just follow their life. And there's so many creators that I follow like that. And I actually love just seeing how their life evolves, like, they've got a new flat, they've got this and that, like, but what I find just really special about social media is

the fact that I now feel like I can help people that are like me and how I was in the past. And like, I think especially with things like editing photos and stuff like that, when I see someone's edited something, I never think, oh my god, you're so annoying, like, why doing that? I genuinely understand where it's coming from. And I understand that it's normally because you have such a deep insecurity about something that I kind of saw it as no one's gonna care, no one's gonna know. And I now look back I'm like girl we all used to know maybe you should have got a little bit better at that editing if you're gonna post it. When I see people do things like that I just feel sorry for people and I'm just like I just want to give you a hug because I know you're probably

going through your own issues that you're not speaking about and there's a reason that people are doing things and it's never like a malicious intent. People aren't sitting there being like, I'm gonna catfish the entire world by doing this. Oh my God. Like people are thinking, oh my God, like I don't like the way my legs are looking in this, but I've really wanted to post a photo

because I've really felt good tonight, but like I don't like my legs. So I'm gonna just edit that a little bit. And it gets so normalized in people's heads. But I feel like I've already said this, but I just really enjoy that I can sit on my account and help heal girls that maybe don't even know they need help. And they found my account, they're like, oh my God, actually, that's what I'm like.

And like, it kind of heals them through that. Or they've seen that actually living in a bigger body, I've shown like, I'm so much happier like, than when I'd like lost all this weight. And like, I just think it's really healing to my younger self, knowing that my older self now has gone through all of that stuff. And I don't wanna say it's for no reason, but I went through that and I've then done something

with the fact that I've struggled so much and I would never have the position I have now if I didn't go through all of that stuff. And it kind of makes me feel a little bit like, okay, there was a reason that I kind of went through that to help other people. But yeah, I think social media is such a powerful thing, no matter what side you're on,

it can be powerful in a very negative way or powerful in a good way. This is what I try to remind people is that like, you actually do have agency and control over what you're watching, seeing, listening to. We spoke about it earlier, like if you've started to become aware of things

that aren't lighting you up that you are following to and subscribing to, then like take note, have a little bit of like an unfollowing spirit. I absolutely encourage that, you know, we're always ever changing and ever evolving. And if something isn't serving you in the same way, if someone's content isn't serving you in the same way that it once was,

then like do that because really at the end of the day, you're at the center of like your own world. And I think it's just like so easy to be kind of swept along with this like mind scrolling we're doing. So make sure that you're making your little like social media space, something that's like, you know know a safe place to be in. One thing that I have struggled with is unfollowing people. I genuinely if anyone finds my content unhelpful I'm like please unfollow me please like I don't care

like it's one of the things I've never cared about numbers like I would rather just be helping people that actually need help and I understand my content self everyone and I'm so I really do get that. And if it doesn't serve you, please unfollow me kind of thing. But I think also unfollowing can feel rude sometimes, like especially if it's a friend or like say, for example, someone I know in the industry, I just don't find their content helpful. The mute button is my best friend. Oh my god.

Sorry, I should have clarified. I am not trying to start war. Like I'm not actually unfollowing, but like the mute button is unreal. Yeah. Unreal. I will say, I think I follow like 700 people. I would say at least 500 of them are muted

because I just, I can't be bothered for the drama. I just half time don't want to see this content, but I think like, as you probably know, like if I've met someone at an event or like I've met someone face to face, it feels so incredibly rude unfollowing, that I'm just like, I will never do that. Even when someone unfollows me, I'm like, okay, I get it,

but like, bit unnecessary because we know each other. Like we've met a fair few times, you're probably gonna see me in the future, but unnecessary. But the mute button is the most powerful tool and you literally will never see a piece of their content again, unless you are looking for it. And I just think it seems so much less beefy. You're not going to start any arguments. They never need to know that they're muted. Sometimes when like, say like we were going to an event and I know someone's going to be there,

I've missed, I sometimes have to have a look because I'm like, Oh, what am I going to speak about? Because I have no idea about anything about their lives because I've been muted for so long. Honestly, so far. Honestly, sofa. And they're like, wow, you're really clued up with my content. No, I don't. Yeah, I've had to have a little stalked in, but look, I'm a cross root.

But yeah, the mute button is gonna be your best friend, honestly. I wanna like dive into where exercise came into the mix. Like was exercise like a part of your life growing up as a child? Yeah. Or I think I've always been exercising. I think that's something that is like I was quite weird to me growing up is when I started getting anxiety around exercise because as I got older, I became more aware of my body.

I didn't want to do things, but I started exercising. I probably was swimming. We're going back to swimming from as as soon as you're allowed to swim, I think my parents were like, chuck you in the pool, saw it out kind of thing. Ever since I remember I was swimming until maybe the age of like 11 and I used to compete swimming,

I'm a qualified lifeguard because I got to a point I was like, what else can I do with swimming? I love it. And I think I went through that like early teenage years of being like, I don't wanna swim anymore. My parents, I now, I feel so bad because I'm like, you must have spent so much money on me swimming. For me to just be like, yeah, I'm not doing that anymore. And that all came from, I used to sit on YouTube

when I was like 11. And if you've watched Cheer on Netflix, you understand this. So Gabby Butler, who was the main person in Cheer on Netflix, everyone knows her nowadays. I've been following her since I was actually 11 years old and I was obsessed. Like she was on this team called SMOED and I would quite literally spend all my time sitting on YouTube watching clips of cheerleading in America being like, Oh my God, I want to do this. Obviously back in like, I think cheer is actually a much more widespread thing now and so many people do it and that makes me so unbelievably happy

because it does not get the amount of credit it deserves. And I think chair is such like a weird sport that people are like, that's not a sport. I'm like, do it then, do it. Because it's harder than anything else I've ever done in my entire life. People just think it's like the pom poms like at the side, sideline chair,

no, I'm chucking someone above my head and catching them all by myself. That is not easy. Like, okay, get your girlfriend, if you're a guy or like whoever, just chuck them and see if you can catch them up there on one leg. Come back to me. Yeah, come back to me when you have a broken neck.

I will tell you that now. So I basically started doing that until the age of I think 16. And then I moved to a higher level team, which was far away and I used to have to trek there. I remember like when I was younger I didn't have a car. I would take two hours to get there and two hours to get back because I just was obsessed with cheerleading. Like I absolutely loved it. Then I quit for two years because I had body issues and I didn't want to be seen in a cheer uniform. If you know a cheer uniform they are very tight.

They are not forgiving in any way, shape or form. They cling to every area of your body. And I was just at that point in my life that I was so insecure. I did not want to be seen in a cheer uniform. I don't think I've ever actually said that that's why I quit cheer. I think everyone, I was just like,

I was just young, I wanted to just like go out and party, which was another reason. But like all my friends were, cheer is one of those sports that you're doing it, what, like two, three times a week. If you don't go, you are not on the team anymore. Like it's a team sport, you can't go on holiday, you can't go on a night out with your friends because you are at cheer and that's an unnegotiable. So I think I did that, I quit for two years and I rejoined, did another, I want to say like five years of it until three months ago

and then I quit. Which I still feel like I've made the wrong decision, but I feel like it got to the point that like, I don't want to say I maxed it out because I definitely didn't, but I just got to the point that I was like, I'm kind of over this. Like I've been doing this for like my whole life and it's so hard to leave a sport

you've been doing your whole life. And I can almost guarantee you, I will be rejoining at some point. But I just got to the point that especially with work, I because it's such a team sport, I can't guarantee where I'm going to be next week. It's like you have to show up and you have to be able to show up all the time. So I just thought, you know what, it's probably best for me to not do it anymore. And I haven't done it for such

a long time. But I think because I've done sports for so long, I feel like swimming was just like such a thing when I was young, I just loved it. I think that's why I repicked up when I decided I was gonna quit cheer, I was like, I'm gonna start swimming again, because I know that's something that young have me loved, like I'm just gonna fall back into it, I think, and I have. But I think from being in sport

for such like a huge part of my life, it's taught me so much. And I always say, my child will be straight in that cheer gym as soon as they can walk because cheerleading genuinely has taught, like has created who I am today. And like, it makes me actually want to cry because I'm like, I don't do it anymore. That makes me really sad because when I was younger,

all I ever wanted to do was the level of cheer that I was doing, like the highest level of cheer you can do, I was doing. And I was like, I think I was quite good at it. And I used to really enjoy doing it, but I think being in a team sport is so different to doing sport on your own, and it just teaches you so many lessons

about showing up for other people and being that person that people can depend on. And like, it just teaches you so much about yourself as a human. And I think that has carried over into my sport now. Like, and I do think that's also why I really struggled with the gym around July time this year before I started picking up swimming, because a lot of my gym training was, I want to get fricking strong so I can lift people above my head.

And then I kind of lost that purpose because I was like, I'm not gonna be lifting people above my head anymore. What am I doing this for? And I kind of had this like area of like, what's my purpose in life now? Like, what I'm doing? And I do keep saying to like, all my friends, I really do actually need to try and find a team sport that I don't have to be so committed to. going back to the actual question, the like the amount of sport that I've done, I genuinely think has just like shaped everything in my life. And I urge if you're a mum to a child or like a dad to a child, or you know anyone young, like, get them into sport, like, yes, they may quit the sport you're currently putting them in. But it teaches you so many lessons in life, other than just being good at the sport. It shapes you as a person. it like really teaches you like the resilience, like the consistency and like the importance of so many things. And I genuinely don't, I don't know, barrier to entry. That feels like, I mean, getting back into exercise when you used to do it as a child is one thing, but doing it and not kind of having ever done it before must be really hard. And I know I certainly found when I took a time away

from exercise kind of in my teenage years and when I was studying, that when you do come back just having that muscle memory is just like so helpful. Not even like if it's in a really athletic capacity but just like kind of being like oh I've done this before I remember what it's like. I remember my parents even used to just kind of encourage going just to be able to you know you have your school friends but you also have your cycling friends and you have your gymnastics friends and you have your school friends, but you also have your cycling friends and you have your gymnastics friends and you have your swimming friends. I think you're so right and that's something I don't actually think we've touched on before, how much more you just gain from exercise. And I feel like as adults we're kind of the same. It's like for me, there's so many reasons why I exercise as

an adult. It goes so far beyond aesthetics, but even just how it makes me feel it's kind of also just like about like seeing the people that you make that like friends there, a lot of us like working at home in isolation, I don't know about you, but just like getting a little bit of like a social fix kind of by going to exercise. This is what I need back because I don't, I literally it's so bad, Monday to Friday, if I don't see my boyfriend

or I don't go to like, there's a gym that I go to in London that I go to with a couple of my friends. But like sometimes that's just, it takes six hours out of my day and that's just, it's not viable. But it can get to the point that Monday to Friday, the only people I will see is my parents. And like, I actually think I, like, this is why I'm like, I actually do need to do something

because I actually tried to quit cheer last year, ends up going back. So I was like, guys, I'm like, I actually do need to do something because I actually tried to quit cheer last year, ends up going back. So I was like, guys, I'm just so lonely. Like I'm not seeing you guys three times a week. And I always said, once I quit, I need to do something else that's giving me that friendship group. But I just don't know what to do.

And I feel like I keep saying this myself. Do you like netball? It sounds really similar. I have literally inquired for a netball team that they could be with me. Oh, okay. So I was like, because that was one that really similar. I have literally inquired for a netball team that they could be with me. Oh. So I was like, okay. Because that was one that you didn't have

to commit to as well. So I was like, perfect. My friend also wanted to come with me. So I was like, perfect. And they just didn't say anything. So I do probably need to chase, it's my ADHD brain. I just need to do something. I need to force myself.

I think I just get right in my comfort zone and forget that I even actually need to have social interaction sometimes. And it's necessary. I feel you because I can really tell when I've been cooped up for too long because suddenly just everything feels on top of me and it feels like, oh my God, life is just so, oh wait, I haven't actually had any human contact. In terms of like your swimming and I literally was like watching one of your stories the

other day and you were just like watching one of your stories the other day and you were just like out here doing like a cold water swim swimming cap on. I was like what the hell is going on? What's your relationship with like pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone? Because it feels like something you're quite comfortable with. You would think I'm actually really not that great at it. I find it very overwhelming doing things that are new and i think also i don't know if this is something that i'm just pushing on myself but i think because my job

is doing fitness i find that like in my head i feel like people have an expectation of how good i need to be or what i need to be doing. like i need to be like good at something when i'm gonna be crap at it. like if i walk into like a CrossFit class, which is not my intention, but like if I walked into that kind of thing, I would be so unbelievably bad at it that that makes me feel very overwhelmed and I don't like feeling bad at things. So that is something I need to get better at.

I do think I'm getting a little bit better at pushing myself outside comfort zones. But I think this is also the thing like completely unrelated to the question, but like even with like friends in London, the majority of my friends that used to live in London have moved out. So I have very minimal friends because I'm really bad at pushing myself into new situations and like meeting new people that I don't know.

And I think that's why quite a lot of my friends are now in the industry because they're people that I keep seeing repetitively. And I just find everything I think it's because I find everything so overstimulating and so overwhelming that I never want to show up to things and not be the very best version of myself. And I can never guarantee that that's gonna happen. So I just think, I just won't show up. Which is a toxic trait that I need to work on.

No, I mean, not to promote the episode or anything, but we did a really cool episode in this season with an ADHD coach, cause I've got ADHD, and it was so interesting. And she was saying that like perfectionism is quite a common trait in people with ADHD, because it's like a fear of like things not being perfect. And like, yeah, I hear that a lot with you.

What is your view forward slash like thoughts on body positivity versus body neutrality? I feel like a lot of people online and in the world have like quite polarizing opinions on this. And I just wondered like what your take is. This is a very interesting question. I will say because I think I actually sit with both. As I said before, I genuinely do see my body as just something that is a shelf of my life. But I think having body neutrality only got me so far. And I kind of didn't really have any positive feelings towards my body.

And I don't think there's actually an issue with that. I think a lot of people that work so well for is just viewing their body as this thing that is just there and you don't have to think anything of it. And I think my beliefs do go to that. But I think also, I think one thing I will say is I think the internet has made body positivity something that it was never meant to be. I think what actually does sadden me a tiny little bit

about body positivity is it's become this thing that people are using for a trend and people are jumping on it just because it's going to get them likes, just because it's going to get them views, just because it's going to get them this, that and the other. And I think that has kind of taken the whole point of body positivity and warped it a little bit if that makes sense. But yeah, so I think a lot of people demonize body positivity, but I think it's just because it's become this massive thing that it was never meant to be.

It's just, the way I see body positivity is it's looking at my body and being like, you know what, I look good. And I think it's just for me, a form of self-love, of being like, you know what, because I've hated my body for so long, I deserve to be positive about it and be like, you know what, I have a role and I don't have an issue with that. But I think it's actually really helped

me personally to look at those things and be like, I'm gonna have a belly roll for the rest of my life. Like, I think most girls will. And that's okay. And I kind of see it as like, more of like a beautiful thing to me that's kind of like, that's something that I used to hate so deeply, and I now can look at it and actually not feel negative about it. And I try and like push, I guess to myself, like being positive towards things is just like the kind of person I am, I will be the most positive person about everything. Which is weird because I'm actually quite a glass half empty person at the same time, but like, I'm very positive about like every

single thing. Like say for example, I can't't think I remember I put it almost like sorry the other day something really negative happened to me and I was like but we're gonna look for the positives anyway because like that is just how I feel like I think as well having mental health issues I've always pushed through my own mental health issues just by killing my brain with positivity, which is why I think body positivity has got such a huge place in my life. And I understand why people have like, are like, Oh, you shouldn't be body positivity, you should be just body neutrality, because you should just not think about your body. But I think for some people, when you have hated yourself for so long, that just isn't gonna heal. It didn't for me anyway, it didn't heal me enough that I felt completely fine with myself. And I think actually giving

myself compliments about things that I use. So it's just the polar opposites for say, for example, when I was younger, I would look in the mirror and I would just poke my belly and be like, this is the bit that I want to get cut off or like, I wish this bit was gone. And instead, like not that I stand in a mirror and just like pointing at different things and say, well, I love this, was gone. And instead, like, not that I stand in a mirror and just like, point at different things and say, well, I love this, like, I used to do that. Because I was like, I need, I needed to force myself to do

things, to like really push this positive agenda. But I think there's something so empowering about when you used to see yourself so negatively, actually then looking at things and killing yourself with positivity. I find personally quite empowering. But yeah, I do think the internet has made body positivity something that, as I said, just it's taken it very much out of

what it was ever intended for, if that makes sense. Yeah, definitely. I just wanna read for anyone that doesn't know, so I probably should have said this to begin with, just the difference. So what we've got written down is body positivity focuses on cultivating acceptance towards a positive body image

through unconditional self-love. Body neutrality does not involve constant body positivity, but rather an acknowledgement and appreciation of all the things the body can do, regardless of what it looks like. So you literally hit the nail on the head. I guess really what you're saying is like kind of that thing that everybody talks about

in terms of like toxic body positivity. Like the point in which it goes beyond and like too far. Because obviously you're way more sort of aware in that space online. What do you know like what that point is in which people start to get uncomfortable and the arguments start to be raised of toxic body positivity? Yeah, it depends on the person. It completely depends. I think some people would sit there

and say, I take body positivity too far. Because I think it really depends on, as I said, it depends on the person because say for example, someone that has never had any kind of issues with their body whatsoever, would see any kind of body positivity of someone that is bigger as an issue because a lot of people would be like, but you're so unhealthy though. But in my eyes, I'm like, well, I was a lot more unhealthy when I was forcing myself to get everything out after any time I ate or I was forcing myself to get everything out after any time I ate or I was forcing myself to not eat. That to me was so much more unhealthy and I know from being in my own body how much healthier I feel now.

But a lot of people that don't have any negative experiences with anything or maybe have been in the complete opposite end of the spectrum just don't completely understand and like that's why I don't really care that a lot of people don't like my content. And I'm like, that's so fine. Because if anything, it makes me quite happy that you've never had to go through the issues that would make you understand my content. Because I think I understand that I'm like Marmite, you'll either love it, or you'll literally like really not like my content. And that's something that I over time, if you just had to like accept that there are going to be a lot of people that hate the stuff that I do, and I just have to in my head again, kill it with kindness and being like, you know, I'm really glad that you actually

don't understand because that means you haven't been through the struggles that I have. And that the other people that do understand my content have been through. But yeah, as I said, I think like toxic body positivity, depending on the person is just so different. Like the tiniest bit of body positivity to someone, Karen on the internet could be the worst thing in the entire world. And like, you should never love anything about your body that isn't like the society deemed standard. You should never love it. You should constantly have to change yourself. So that area of body positivity might be an issue to them, but to the next

person, nobody puts if you would be toxic, because we depend no matter your shape, no matter your size, you should have the right to like yourself. And I think what really does upset me as someone who is like a bigger girl, the amount of people in this world that think you should just hate yourself because you're bigger. And it's genuinely upsetting the fact that there's so many people even in my comments, I've had to mute so many different words in my comments, just because not because of me, I genuinely think I've got the what's it called? stone heart?

Is that a thing like nothing really faces me? But what worries me is that I'm trying to create a really, really safe space on my account. And the next girl that scrolls through my comment section probably won't have the stone heart or whatever the word is like I do. And that is what concerns me. So I've had to create like so many blocked words

in like my comments that people can't comment. And it's like, people just have issues with everything, I think. And I just can't understand how anyone liking their body and being positive towards the way they look is an issue. I think, obviously, there's things that come down to like health and stuff like that. But I think that's why for me, as long as I'm moving my body, I'm making conscious like decisions to be like healthy and make myself feel good. It's fine. Like, is the kind of like mindset I have. But I think every single person in this world has lived a completely different life, you will never ever understand what

somebody else is going through. So who am I to sit here and say, you shouldn't be body positive, even though you look X way or Y way. Like they have got the right to do whatever they they want because I have not lived their life. I have not gone through any of the trauma they've been through. I've not experienced life in the way they have. The just let someone do their thing is kind of my view on it. But there's going to be people that have different issues with different things.

And I think that's the exact same with every single area of the internet. Like there's always gonna be someone hating on what you do or what you're saying or the message you're trying to convey and as I said, like if you're hating on it, you just don't understand where they're coming from and I think instead of leaving hate, just accept maybe I don't get this and just scroll on.

It's such a like nuance thing, isn't it? You know, like most things in life, but particularly like your experience except maybe I don't get this and just scroll up. Yeah. It's such a nuance thing, isn't it? Yeah. It's like most things in life, but particularly your experience and your thoughts and ideologies around being in your own body, that's incredibly individual. I can imagine no two people are gonna even have the same sort of feelings about their own experience.

I wanna read this article, a little excerpt of a Guardian article that just came out recently. You may or may not be familiar with it. It's titled Being Dangerously Thin is Back In. Is the body positivity era officially over? So it's just basically saying that ASPS, which is the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, have put their heads together and decreed that we are entering the ballet body era. Seeing an increase in liposuction and breast enhancement to achieve this physique trend is likely to see more females starving themselves and engaging in ED behaviors. Seeing a turn from the curve trend back to a thinner focus, the rise of the ballet body comes amid a boom in anti-obesity, thinner focus and drugs like Ozempic have been on the rise.

Combination of trending ballet body with readily available weight loss drugs is a scary one. I wanted to ask you, body trends, how do you feel about that being someone that's like, you know, actively puts in so much effort to kind of promote all the messaging you do? Like, how do you feel about that sort of thing? It's scary, but I think the fact, I know I said this earlier, but I think a big issue with body positivity

has always been the fact that people are jumping on it as a trend, which is not a trend. And I think the fact that it's so easy for us to completely shift the other way just shows that like these people that have kind of gone from one end of the spectrum to the other are just jumping on whatever bandwagon is there. And I don't have like any animosity against people that are doing it because again, I've not lived in their body, I've not done the things they've done, I don't understand their brain.

It's really difficult. I think the issue I have, and I've done a talking story on this before, is the fact that people are out here promoting it is what I find really, really scary. So there's a girl that I used to follow, obviously won't name any names, I've unfollowed her ever since, but she used to be the most body positive, she would post very

similar content to me, so very body positivity, um body neutrality kind of vibe, like love yourself. and then all of a sudden one day she posted a thing being like i'm going on a zen pic and i was like not one to judge, do your thing. but what i really did not like is you've got a discount code for a zempic. I find that so wild. The fact that you've imagined like put this in perspective, anyone that knows my account or anything, it's like me turning around one day and being like guys let's all go on a zempic. I've started a zempic, here's my discount code, let's all do it together. I find that so scary that as an influencer that is, influencer, hate that word, but as an like a social media content creator influencer,

like you have got influence over the people that follow you. And I think a lot of the people that say, for example, she'll, this girl would have had various of an audience to me. A lot of these people are very, very impressionable and have issues with their body as it is. So for someone to sit there and be like, use my discount code to get some Azenpic is scary. I also have

been getting ads on social media for things like Azenpic and Manjaro and stuff like that, that when I say it's terrifying, that I will just be scrolling through my Instagram stories, an ad for it will come up, I can click and buy it without putting any proof of my age, any proof of identity in. And what I genuinely find so, so difficult is these drugs are created for like, I don't want to say worst case scenarios, but like people that really do need the help. Well, diabetic people as well. Yeah, you know, but I think what is so scary is that people, it's so easy and what is so scary is that people, it's so easy and readily available to buy now

that people can, as I said, just go on Instagram. It's an ad on Instagram that you can just buy, come straight to your door within three days. Say for example, someone that's already on medication, I'm on other medications for like asthma and stuff. I don't know how that's gonna, like if I decided to start taking this, I don't know how that's gonna react to my asthma medication

because there has been no doctor involved in it and that is what i find so unbelievably scary is the internet has made these things so readily available that you could just have like say for example i've said even myself i have bad days i have days that i question myself blah blah somebody can have that bad day and at a finger tap be like you know what i'm just gonna go and order this like drug that i'm literally putting a needle into my body to change myself. And I just find it really worrying that I wouldn't find it as worrying if you had to go to your GP, have a chat about it, understand all the side effects, understand every single last thing, make sure it's actually right for you. That I have no issue with at all. Do your thing is your body

I have got no I Shouldn't be having any opinion on your body and what you decide to do that That is your choice and you are aware of the side effects What I find really concerning is the fact that you can buy it without seeing a GP you can buy it and just start using it anytime that you like without having any checks and People say it's got like I know when I posted a story about it a lot of people like but it's got so much research behind it it has research behind it in a controlled environment it doesn't have

research to back it up and that it's safe without having a GP helping you and that is what I find so unbelievably concerning there's like there's actually a website that you can go on to report people that are doing it illegally, but at the end of the day, there's only so much you can do. Yeah, no, definitely. And also, let's not forget that I'm fairly certain once you come off Hozenpik,

a lot of people will experience that weight gain back because the drugs not doing what it was once doing, or you don't actually have like the structure in your life to be able and like the habits to be able to kind of sustain that. I think it's so important as well. People are going to want to lose weight and that is the bottom line.

That people are going to want to and it's so scary that it's so readily available to do these things that are literally created as a last resort, as your first resort. Like, as you said, like people aren't having to build up healthy habits. They're not learning how to eat properly. They're not like doing any of these things that create a healthy lifestyle. And I think what I find scariest and I was the exact same. Like if Azempik was a thing when I was younger, I would 100% have got it. If I could have got it on Instagram, oh my God, in a heartbeat,

I would have ordered it because I had so much self loathing that I would have done anything because I saw weight loss is the key to everything that is going to make me so happy. Like, but it doesn't. If you're not doing work on yourself, love mindset, work, learning how to actually love yourself. I can guarantee you as someone who lost so much weight and I dropped so many dress sizes, no matter how small you are, you will continually hate yourself

if you do not change the way you view yourself. Also the bit that like gets me the most is kind of what you were already talking about with like people, you know, the are in the public eye monetize it, choosing to monetize it. I know recently the Lottie Moss story and Courtney Kardashian launching

a weight loss supplement from Lemmy and like other hugely influential, well-known celebrities have been using Ozempic and like I've seen several articles like, oh, is this Ozempic face? Because people aren't even being truthful about it. So I think that's- I even saw a podcast, I think it was GK Barrie's podcast,

James Charles was on it. And I was like, oh my God, James Charles' podcast, of course I'm gonna watch this. I just find him very interesting as an individual and everything. But he was just, she mentioned something about Ozempic and he was like, yeah, everyone in LA is on it. Like, like it was a granted thing. Like, just a casual every single person is on it. Like, it's just like, it's just

something so small. It's like me and you talk about creatine, they're acting like it's such a casual thing. And what I just really disagree with is people posting about it and then acting like, oh, I've lost so much weight in this healthy way. It's like when I had an eating disorder and lost loads of weight, if I then started my coaching company then and promoted this in like, I've got the best way to lose weight and then like, it's just a false advertisement. I don't know, I think you have to like, say for example, with my coaching company, I started it once I'd healed and I felt like I was in a position to actually help people. But I think the issue is, is it's the false advertising and it goes back to the fact that

social media is just so fake. Like it's even like, say for example, when Kylie Jenner first got her lips done and were then started selling lip liners and lip kits. It's just like she had lip filler filler but didn't want to tell anybody. So instead, she creates a product that everyone bought thinking they were going to get the results when in actual fact she'd done something completely different, but use it as marketing. And I think that is where my deep, deep issue lies within it is people that have got some kind of audience that trust them, just completely don't care about the audience. It's just like, I'm gonna just do what I can get

for a quick little bit of money. No, no, it's really sad. It's really, really sad. It's like, the least you could do is be honest, you know? Yeah. The least you could do. Just kind of really a final thing to kind of end on, kind of touching on like what we've been talking about

with this kind of like trend of like a body type kind of coming back, That was in air quotes. Less than 1% of the looks shown during fashion month in New York, London, Milan, Paris were worn by plus size models and many body positive influences are all kind of going down that route of like weight loss and following that sort of trend.

I just wondered like, how does it feel for you like within the fitness space and to be working with brands that do, I know like the likes of, well, actually I'm gonna leave it open-ended. I don't wanna put any words in your mouth. I would love to know what you do think about kind of different body types and the wider industry,

the fitness industry. I definitely feel like for a lot of things, I'm a poster girl, not poster girl with the right words. The token. The token. The token plus size girlie. Yep. I, a hundred percent, and I know I am that because I'll go to an event,

every single other person will be the exact same size, exact same look. There was a point, which again, I find it really, really difficult as a girl that is bigger, that my, like the body positivity and stuff was trending. Again, I find it wrong that things like that are trending, but life is life, I guess. But a lot of brands and a lot of companies

for a couple of months, decided to jump on this body positivity trend. And then all of a sudden, I can guarantee you can go on 99% of active wear brands right now You could scroll for about six months and you will not see one single person with a body type that is anything over maybe a size 10 and I genuinely think as

A woman that is bigger and goes to the gym, I want to feel represented. I want to go onto a brand's website. And I don't know why it's so hard that you can't just get like a couple of different models in the same active wear set and show different body types. Because when I order an active wear set, I couldn't tell you once that I've been able to shop something that was worn by a model that looks like me, ever.

And I find that so incredibly strange because I'm a size 16, the average size of a woman is a size 16. Why is that not shown on your website? And I even from a money point of view for brands, like obviously at the end of the day, they're trying to make money. Do you not think that the average size woman wants to see her body on your clothes? And like even like a lot of active wear brands I've seen without naming any names have started decreasing their size selection. And one thing I find really scary is there's some brands

that I've seen that will lie about having plus size clothing. So, which I, it makes me angry that I can go on a brand's website and something could have just launched that day, that second, and the plus sizes are already sold out. Oof. You've never had those plus sizes.

Just say it with your chest. If you don't want people that are in a bigger body to wear your brand, don't pretend that you want to cater for us because I can guarantee you that pair of leggings that you're pretending you have in a plus size, you will never see that on a gal that has a plus size body because you never made them. And that is what really, really angers me.

Do not pretend you are a body inclusive brand and then not sell the stuff that's body inclusive and lie about it. That is something that like, and it wasn't a one off, it's something that I've like continually checked. Because obviously, being in the industry, I don't want to work with people that don't support like people like me or like my audience. And I have to make sure I stay on top. It's just a matter of like, I don't know how to say it. Exactly. As a matter of principle. I am not going to work with a brand that does that

because I need to make sure I stay on top of these things. So I will constantly check different Actuwear brands, websites and stuff like that to see, are you using models that look like me? Because I feel really guilty promoting brands that don't show bodies that have bodies like my audience. You can't work with me and then not want to promote anything to people that look like me. You just want my audience. You want to make sales with my audience, but you don't want to

provide for my audience. So make that make sense. But yeah, I think brands are going backwards, which I find so upsetting. I thought it was such a lovely time when I remember I would scroll on some websites and see plus size models and be like, oh, my God, like, we're actually making a change. But no, it was for a trend. And we've gone back to square one. And I think the issue is, it will continue going in cycles of body positivity Want to be really really really skinny and then people realize actually being really really skinny makes me really really not feel great I don't feel good in this body Actually, maybe let's go back to body positivity and I genuinely think that's just gonna be a never-ending cycle until People in like more of a public eye or or brands in a public eye actually start acting like people like me and people in plus-sized bodies deserve to take up space

because sometimes looking on different brands, Instagrams, it just makes you feel like I don't deserve to wear your brand. I can't see anybody else wearing your brand. Do you even want to provide for me? Do you want me to wear your brand? I just think it's never been this hard for me to get work and I think there's a huge correlation towards the fact they no longer want to promote their sets on bigger bodies and I think it's sad. I do find it

unfortunately that's life until I have enough money and enough time and don't have ADHD anymore. Maybe I'll create my own active wear brand but I don't think that's likely to happen because I can't even get my daily tasks done, let alone create any kind of activewear brand. It's so frustrating and so sad because it's like, there seems, and I don't have the answer for this, but it seems like a total disconnect between the reality of what people look like,

what people in real life actually look like, and what is being promoted and what is even, I mean, to even, you've made me really think about it actually, because it's something I hadn't really ever considered. Like, okay, fair enough, you're not going to run campaigns of me, someone that looks like my body type. But at least if you could, at the very least, for a very kind of specific practical purpose, could you not at least photograph it in somebody and put it on the product page? Just so I know how this product is going to look on me.

Because I get it in the fitness industry, people, these brands think that having it on a smaller body type that's like chiseled abs, like this really like fitness look that all these like, I don't want to say fitness look because there's no such thing as a fitness look, but. More like a bodybuilder kind of like aesthetic. Yeah, I even see that myself. The generic aesthetic thing. Definitely.

Like all of these brands want to use that. And I think their marketing departments think that is gonna give people motivation and that's what sells clothes. And maybe they have stats that that is what sells clothes. I get it it's business, business is business and that's hard maybe harder for them to understand but I'm not asking you to make your entire site body positivity friendly in every single model to look like me I'm just asking you to one provide sizes that you are actually stating you provide instead of lying about it because that makes me beyond mad and to

Like actually show if you do then want to provide those sizes show it on people's body types Like is it really that hard? I would be so much more comfortable buying things From a brand that is showing things on my body because I can't look at it like as a size 16 woman I can't look at a size six girl size 16 woman, I can't look at a size six girl that's modeling it and think, oh yeah, that's gonna look like me. It comes and it looks so different because my body type couldn't be further from like further from that. And I just think if you are providing that size, you should be providing a model that is showcasing that size. And I just genuinely think brands are missing a massive thing. And I think a lot of these brands have maybe trialed using a plus size model once being like, that didn't really make

us any more sales, we're not going to bother. But like anything, if you continually did that, you would start getting known as a brand that is including people, making people actually want to buy your stuff because they feel good about themselves and aren't feeling like, I don't feel worthy of wearing this set because every single thing on your site is on a size six to eight model. Which I have, I think a lot of people like get my message, risk and shield and think I have an issue with that. I genuinely do not have an issue with that at all. But I just think I get that's maybe what sells your clothes, but I just think it's, there's a huge disconnect in the fact that you don't, one, sell the clothes or two,

you don't want to show it on my body type. Like it's really not that hard to get one extra model in for the day and take some photos of her. You're doing it knowingly, in my opinion. Exactly, that's what I thought about how it's like, no, no, no, like I'm even asking from a practical point of view, like could you not just allow me to see

how the clothes would look, even if it wasn't like, you know, we understand overheads can be like tight and profits matter to brands, but like, could you not just do like, either like two ends of the sizing spectrum? We're not silly us consumers, you know, we'll be able to read between the lines. Oh, if that person at that size looked like that, that person at that size looked like that, maybe I'd be like kind of in between or whatever, right? But I think it's just a shame because, you know, that's where like money makes such a icky impact because like, there could be such a huge sort of meaningful change that would create such a big impact. No, it might not generate like sales, but

it would make, you know, change generation. Well, yeah, exactly like sales, but it would make, you know, it could change generation. Well, yeah, exactly. I really think it would generate sales because I get so many women messaging me, even about the brands that I work with and saying like, it's so nice to see you wearing this brand because I've never bought from them before

because I could never imagine it on my body and I didn't think it would ever fit me. But now I've seen it on you. I actually want to buy it. I guess like really I just want to leave it on like what given everything we kind of spoke about if there's someone listening right now and they're actually thinking huh yeah I think I'm actually ready to like start to accept myself at the very least you know but I don't know where to go I don't know like what to do and how to like start that what feels like a really long journey ahead of me. What would you what would your piece of advice for them be?

If you've got the money, get therapy. I know for a lot of people that is not a viable option though. I will also say if you do work a corporate job, a lot of corporate jobs do offer therapy for free, like you don't get for free, but you'll have to pay X amount upfront and you'll get 12 therapy sessions. So definitely look into your options with therapy because I will say that was the huge thing that really did change my entire perspective of life. But do not underestimate the power of a good podcast,

a good audio book, a good book that is, there are so many like therapists and like doctors that have created books that genuinely are life changing books, genuinely just spending time and setting time aside to like, work on yourself. I think it's also just be aware that you actually are probably more of the issue than you are aware. And I think that's a hard pill to swallow that you actually are probably a bigger issue than you are aware. And I think that is a hard pill to swallow that you actually are probably a bigger issue than you think you are. But I think just go into it with a very open mind

and think this is going to take a long time. And it's going to take me more than one self love, but one more than one audio book and just see it as like a long journey of kind of self discovery. I don't know if I like saying that, but like I guess self-discovery and like understat is kind of giving like gap year vibes I've found myself in. True though, going to Thailand in my year out did truly change my life. Yeah literally there's something in it. Something in Thailand that just changed your entire life. Thank you so much like genuinely like I think that was like such an unreal conversation I feel like it's gonna help so many people I know it helped me. These conversations always do I think there's like so an unreal conversation. I feel like it's gonna help so many people. I know it helped me. These conversations always do, I think. There's like so much to take

from really everything you touched on. Where can people find you if they do wanna connect with you and follow you? I would say, just at Elmin on everything. E-L-M-I-N-T. Nice and easy. Very simple. Thank you so much, Elle, honestly.

It's been amazing and really, really appreciate you coming on. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for listening it's been amazing and really really appreciate you coming on. Thank you so much for listening hope you guys enjoyed the episode I found that so inspiring but I really feel like I found that so educational honestly. There were some things that she really like said that I really just like I'm gonna hold on to and I hope you guys do too. Remember you can find us at Gym Girls Lockerer Room on all platforms. If you did enjoy the episode and you are enjoying the series then I would really really really appreciate if you could give us a five stars on whatever platform you're listening on. If you haven't listened to the other episodes do

give them a listen they're all equally as incredible as this one. I'm not biased I promise but yeah have a lovely week and I will see you in the next one.