Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 258 - Inside The Mind of an Impulse Buyer

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

A famous surfer is influencing Hamish's Instagram algorithm and Hamish doesn't understand why. A brotherly feud takes place on a new edition of Chit Chat Champions. Hamish is wondering if he technically counts as a university alumni when he never graduated, and Andy had his first facial. Plus, Jordann says she can guess the croak of any frog... so how does her claim stack up when put to the test?  1. Inside the mind of an impulse buyer 2. Chit Chat Champions - brothers edition 3. University alumni 4. Andy’s painful facial 5. Croaks and Ribbets - Frog special skill 6. Driveway speed 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3...2... Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to my shield, Hamish. I'll protect you forever, my liege. Thank you very much.

Ahoy to my strato, Jack. He won't. I'll do my best. I'm a cinder cone. Jeez. A shield, strato and a cinder cone. Elaborate desserts. No, with all we caused huge delays in air travel about 10 years ago.

Are we a type of volcano eruption? We are. We are three types of volcanoes. Yes. Haim, you're the shield. The lower profile one resembles a bit of a shield lying on the ground, formed from an eruption of highly fluid lava. Gets its flow on.

So this is the biggest in the world though. It's the largest one of those in Hawaii. Congrats on the SV. Strato Jacko, a conical volcano built up of many layers of hardened lava. Mount Fuji. Mount Fuji in Japan, probably the most. That's your classic volcano. When you picture a volcano, you picture conical. Yeah, exactly.

I think you're right. Probably the most high profile, even though it's more high profile as opposed to a low profile, if you'll use the other meaning. Cinder cone, younger ones, really. They're steep conical hill. More of a crack, more of a fancy crack.

The youngest ones on earth, they're all cinder cones apparently. Not apparently, Ando. You say it like you feel like the volcanologists have rushed this. Apparently they're saying the youngest ones on earth, I don't know, a little skeptical. Have you measured everyone? All I know is it says that he's the youngest one is, and then I said the youngest like as if there was a lot of them, so then I'm worried someone's gonna ride in and go, well actually the second youngest one is a shield.

And I'm like, okay, cool. That's why I threw the apparently at the end. If I'm going a little bit off the sheet, it's because I'm worried about someone sitting there with his voice ready to just take me down. It's a high wire act that we always start the show talking about the most technical thing that has clear right and the wrongs that we know nothing about. It does set the tone well for the show. This is the show where these guys will pretend to know anything.

Yes. Ahoy also to Andrew from the US who has used the very easy to use system at HamishNavy.com to tell us what he's been up to. Ahoy boys and number six, calling in from the States today. Ran into some Aussies up here last week, hit them with an ahoy, was pleased to receive an ahoy back listeners and fans of the show. And also pleased to relay that we did not mention Mr. Ralph, we had no conversation about him. Now I did upfront mention that we should not mention Mr. Ralph but it went it went no further than that and I'm grateful to know that the international community

even though they were up here in the States is leaving well enough alone so that our weasel can can get his precious precious flights. That is beautiful. That's lovely. That is just really lovely. Yeah. Lips sealed everywhere. Jackie, that must be music to your ears. Yeah. Well, I mean, he said it a bit too many times for my liking, but he's right. The USA is ground zero for Mr. R. so be careful, be most careful. Be tread carefully over there. Hamishnanny.com if you'd like to take the pledge in shirt form. I'm not sure if there's t-shirts still available,

but worth throwing it out there. I think we're getting very low, but worth a crack. And as you know, and Jacko, as you guys know, over the years I have struggled somewhat with impulse control when it comes to being served ads on Instagram. Oh yeah. And I've had strong times and I've regrettably had relapses.

Golf, ever since taking up golf a couple of years ago now, maybe 18 months ago, the algorithm is onto that. And boy is there a product for everything. Like it's the weirdest. The ball that goes between your arms to, you know, the wrist brace so your wrist is in the right position. I've seen that one. It sits your wrist on a little anchor type splint that comes up off the wrist.

So proud to say I don't own that, Jack. Like I do have some of them, but I'm so proud. Like I'm so proud there's still a few out there where I can go, oh, not that bad. I don't have that one. So there's the golf stuff. And I accept that now because it's kind of my own fault because I go, well, I know I'm looking at golf reels. And so it's figured it out. That's easy. I'm a soft target. They've looked at my purchase history. They're like, hang on, didn't this guy buy a mesmerizing sphere? He, he, we have this guy down as the biggest rube of all time. Like, if he likes anything, let's get him. Let's just get him.

So I understand there's a bit of a, there's a rush to get me with that. So it bothers me when stuff comes up where I'm like, why is this coming up? Why am I, I understand there's some targets. There's some things I understand I'll be targeted for, but this, this pan comes up. Right. And it's a frying pan, like a kind of a deeper wall. I'll admit it looks pretty cool, but it's a deeper walled frying pan. Right.

And it's like this, it's a chef. It's a kind of a rad chef. It's not the guy from the bear, but he has tones of that. Tats, cool American kind of chef. He's got a few Michelin stars. Can't remember who it is. He's like, this is hands down the coolest invention, the innovation of our time in the kitchen. He's like, I freaking love this pan. This is an amazing pan. What makes it so amazing? To take you into the mind of an impulse buyer, we don't ask those kinds of questions.

take you into the mind of an impulse buyer. We don't ask those kinds of questions. If a cool chef says this is the greatest cooking innovation of our time. The only thing my brain can think is, thank God I'm hearing about this. I can't believe I haven't heard about this yet. This must be day one. Must've been invented today. I hope I'm hearing about this first. I hope they've got some left.

We might have a few left. So he's just, and he's swearing and I'm like, that's cool. He's like, I freaking love this pan. This is the best. I'm like, yes, look at this. Oh, he would be that passionate about a pan. It's like. And you see how busy he is. He's in the kitchen, so he's taking time out of his day

to share the good news, to share with all of us his pens. But I'm still going, I'm like, this is a sponsored post, right? This is, well, it's like an ad and it's like sponsored and that's why I'm getting it. But then on these days, you can look underneath and go, like, what, you can see who you follow, who's liked it. Oh, you know what I mean?

Like the pen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rebecca Harding. I'm like, no, I'm getting, I'm not strong enough to resist this. Why is she liking an ad? Don't like ads.

This isn't even this. Like I understand when I get random stuff pop up. You know what I get a lot of stuff in my feed from? Not that we're like super close buds, but the algorithm just has decided that I like what he likes. I'll get a random thing come up. Like honestly, real example yesterday, just an Instagram page of very close up and almost like ASMR audio of an apple and a samurai sword slicing it extremely thinly. Right? Like, and it's like, the noise is like, but it's very satisfying

to watch because this guy slices it like- So is it slow-mo or is it going slow? No, no. He's just slicing it so slow and so thin that it's this translucent piece of apple comes off. Right? Like perfect thin slice. Actually think you'd quite like to watch this. Okay. Then he goes to a loaf of bread and he's cutting like a micron thick slice of bread with this samurai sword and it doesn't break or anything.

It's like a perfect slice. Proving us how sharp and how good this guy is with the samurai sword. You're just seeing an extreme close up of the stuff being sliced. Liked by Kelly Slater. Kelly Slater is on Instagram all the time. Right? Like I actually have days, weeks where I'll delete it, go back on the app. You know, you go in and out. I reckon honestly, 60 to 70% of the random pages I get served have been liked by

Kelly Slater. He is just loving everything out there. And it's really obscure stuff. But the reason I'm getting it is cause I follow Kelly Slater. He is just loving everything out there and it's really obscure stuff, but the reason I'm getting it is because I follow Kelly Slater and I'm just getting what I can just see what he likes. Well, Beck is, when you were telling that story before, I'm like, oh, this is Beck and maybe I'm drawn to these other people who buy life, but Beck has to buy anything. Like the amount of deliveries, anything she sees, she has to purchase it. You guys are both.

Why is she liking it? This is my request to you. Can you please say the bag? You can enjoy the ad. Don't like an ad. Save it if you have to. God knows I've done a few of those. But don't like the ad because now it's coming at me.

Okay. Yeah. And obviously I've bought the pan. Have you used it yet or it's still in the mail? I don't want to say. It's not great. Well, okay. So that's their best pan. But when you go to the website, they also make other pans. They also make other pans. And while I was there, I thought maybe we could just do a whole cookware overhaul.

So the three other pots and pans that I bought have arrived, but I didn't, I was in such a rush to get this best one ever. I didn't realize it doesn't come out till the end of, like, it doesn't come out, I think, until the end of July. Right. You pre-bought a pan. It looks like it. Kind of like a concert.

Maybe when they come out, I might be able to scalp it for hire. Fame people flooding in at HamishNanny.com for their chance to play Chit Chat Champions. So let's jump into it now. Chit me with your best chat, night or away. Chit Chat Champion. The game that tests your ability to fill in the blank in a pause in a conversation that you determined to be the right time to talk. A lot of things, a lot of calculations going on in the mind when you play Chit Chat Champions. It's like a golf swing. There's a lot to balance. Am I a little too heavy here? Do I do this now or do I do this bit now?

What do I do next after that bit? And if you overthink it's similar to golfing, the chat doesn't go well. We've got brothers that are keen to play against each other. Hamish and Jules Jonas. We'll start with Hamish. Hamish, ahoy to you. Ahoy boys. Congrats on the SP Hamish and happy birthday to the Weaver. Thank you. Thank you, Haim. And may you also have Gusto with your P. Haim, why do you think that you're better than your brother Jules when it comes to chat? I wouldn't maybe chuck myself above him.

He kind of just chucked my name into the chit chat. I think that's a bit of a power move on me, but I've been doing some training last night, my roommates, my girlfriend. What does- Wandering up to people at- I just kept finding cocktail parties and I jumped into their conversation. I love that you're coming in as an underdog. Did it sting a little bit when you realized like your brother obviously

thinks you're a bit of an easy beat so he can throw you in there to win? Yeah, classic big brother stuff but you know you can't underestimate the little brother. I got some stuff on him I reckon. Okay, okay very interesting. Jules, ahoy to you. Ahoy boys and gusto be with you. And gusto to you. Are you pretty confident then that you'll take down a young Hamish? Well, as a big brother, the answer has to be yes. Alright, well you guys know how it works. Hamish and I will start a conversation. You guys will be judged on how well you pick up the conversation. Add to the conversation you cannot have asked a question.

You guys ready to go? Yep. Jules will go and Hob will we'll start with Hamish. And good luck, Ham. Cheers. G'day, Andy. G'day. Gee, we're not too far away from the Olympic Games now.

Yeah, our first time to see break dancing as a sport. Yeah, they're adding a lot of new sports, I've noticed, in the last couple of years. I think that rock climbing and the skateboarding was last time and I think it really took off. Wow, the underdog. The underdog. Oh, cheers boys, cheers. Yeah, he's happy with it as well. That's not bad.

Yeah, you have a bit of a smile on the face when I heard that. I was like, I'm going to be a fish. I mean, you launched well. You did, didn't you? You cruised well and you landed well. Yeah, that's the thing. Sometimes you can get away with your launch and then you just stay out there too long. We do occasionally have people that think they get the ball and they're running with

the ball and they think, I'm killing this and they don't realise they're running the wrong way on the field. Yeah, I practiced a couple of entries with the boys last night and they said the best thing to go on was just a little bit of curiosity going on and it gives me a second to find my footing. And you found it. Found it well home. Okay. We'll put you on hold. Jules joins us now. Jules, your brother has gone. We won't reveal how he went. How are you feeling? Yeah, I'm feeling confident. Okay. Good luck. Yeah, I'm feeling confident. Okay.

Good luck. G'day, Andy. G'day, Andy. Gee, we're not too far away from the Olympic Games now. Yeah, our first chance to see breakdancing as a sport. Breakdancing as a sport, I can't believe that. I thought that skateboarding and getting in was a bit of a hard pass, but breakdancing? Come on.

Good, good, come on. Good Jules. How did you feel you were leaving? Completely Jules. Could have done better, but I like to, you know, I could have gone for two runs there, but I just took the single. Well, I'm not sure if you did. I, you went for a tactic which we see from time to time, which is, um, mock outrage. Yeah.

Like hoping, hoping that that maybe adds a bit more weight to the argument. I didn't, I didn't feel, I didn't feel it was believable, Havish, that you were that outraged with break dancing being added. It is impressive, but I'm a traditionalist when it comes to the Olympics. I think keep it to the, you know, the captain on the swimming etc. Yeah that was a better constructed argument. Sticking to his character well, all right, well we bring Hamish back up. Ando? Oh, it was a clear winner. Unfortunately the underdog for you Jules. You'll listen back, you'll have to agree with it. Hamish, you are the winner. Congratulations, babe.

Oh, let's go. Congratulations, Hamish. I think we know who the new little bro is. Well, no, you've always been the little bro. No, you don't. Don't blow it now. Don't blow it now with some bad chat. Yeah, let's have a recount.

Have a recount. Nah, time is done. He's tripped over as he's gone to get his medal, smashed his nose on the data. Everyone's gone, that's the gymnast that won? No, it's alright. I mean, you won. You did what you had to do when it counted.

We can only judge you on what happened. As soon as you're out of season, you can do whatever you want. There's no rule. He's already at the end of season, truth. He's having a great time. See ya lads. The token of no value going to you, Hamish. And you and I went to uni together.

Yep. Jackie boy, did you go to uni? I went to TAFE. Good boy. Did you finish? I did, yes. I did a film and television diploma. Excellent.

How long did that take? Is that like? That's two years. Really? So if you ever need me on the TV projects, you guys do? Television diploma. Excellent. How long did that take? That's two years. Really? So if you ever need me on the TV projects you guys do, I am cool for you. Often the first question you ask, got your diploma? Yes.

Just like Paramount Films would be like, well, Mr. Scorsese, we'd be happy for you to direct the... Actually, got your diploma? Yes. Obviously I've got the diploma. Okay, good. I'm happy to... Beverly Hills tape. Good. Obviously I've got the diploma. Okay. Good. I'm happy to Beverly Hills tape.

Good. Good. Couldn't do it without diploma. Um, no, great course. Well done, Jack. Well done for seeing it through. And, uh, I did not get to the end of, um, you're a dropout. Well, I just didn't quite make it to the finish line. Got confused halfway through the race at a drink station.

Have we done yet? Is this, you know, so you got no certificate then? I don't have a certificate. Andy's got a degree. I got a diploma. I got a hex bill. They still give you that. I don't have the certificate though, Jack.

What happened? Well, I was just sent it to me in the post. And then my mum called me into that and said, no, no, no, we need to go and wear the funny hats and And, um, wow. So I am the most educated on the show. Don't you remember we did the whole graduation ceremony for Andy's degree, like out on the rooftop, like 10 years ago, cause he never picked up the diploma. And then, and then Haim said that he was organizing at the radio station and invited my parents in who

didn't realize it was a joke and dressed up in a suit and mum dressed up all lovely and came and sat there and were the only people in the crowd. Plastic chairs. And plastic chairs. And then Hamish panicked and ran out and asked Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, whether she could come and sit in the crowd with my parents and she said. She said no thanks. She said no thanks.

I'll be okay. She was in the building doing some other interview. Please Jen, 10 minutes, attend Andy's graduation. Only, and then also, mum and dad, as you got up and made a speech on behalf of the Dean, it was only several minutes in that I figured, dawned on both of them, that their son wasn't... It wasn't that there would be no attendance from the real Dean. Do we have catering after this?

We would have had catering. I think you have two very disappointed middle-aged people. Well, here's my question to you, Ando. I didn't finish. You did, got your bachelor's degree. Am I still an alumni? Oh, great question. Well, I'm not sure if you're copying this,

but the university has reached back out to me to go and speak. And they asked about you as well. And I'm like, we're not the greatest. Like, universities are great. All of them, you know, they're doing a great thing. But we aren't the greatest example of that. We stopped going to uni and went to the pub across the road and started trying to write skits and mucking around.

So I don't think that we're the best people to go and have a chat there. And so I think they're, I don't have to be honest, I think they're just trying to make us feel a bit more like we're alumni now. Well, I would understand because you've got a piece of paper from them that said you successfully navigated somewhere. You navigated the course. I don't, but am I allowed to still say I'm an alumni? If you went you're alumni. Yeah. You're a graduate

at some point. I think that's right. Well, I didn't graduate. That's a thing. But like, you know, sorry. But then you'd be a graduate like, oh, Hamish is a graduate of the university. So you got to do is enroll. I think you got to intend. Yeah. So you could enroll in like a summer course at MIT in America and go, I'm an alumni of MIT. I think you can. Yeah.

But also, what does that give you though? Bragging rights, Jack. I've just found that my mission for the rest of the year, like, enroll inrolling in many correspondence courses I can at high level university. So I can say an alumni. Well, the reason I ask is I got an email the other day congratulating me for my inclusion in the King's birthday lists.

And, but they go from the uni and they go to great lengths to regard me as an alumni. Oh yeah. Now they're coming for us. guard me as an alumni. Oh yeah. Now they're coming for us. What? How the turns table, because this is not the attitude. This is not the red carpet service I was getting as a student.

Nor should I. Like you certainly, it would be an interesting card to play as a 19 year old. How dare you question my attendance. I'll have you know in 25 years, I'll be back here. I feel the same, Ham. I feel that retrospectively, um- I loved it, to be honest. I loved it. This is, I mean, I see the letterhead and I've, the only thing I ever had received on that letterhead before were like, please explains, like denial of applications for leniency, um, like a reiteration of the rules that I was trying

to break. So to see something on the letter here. Your assignment looks a lot like Andrew Lee's. I was getting called in for plagiarism. And I think it's the obviously times have changed. We were there 20 years ago, but it's from the vice chancellor. So I was like, I think that's the, isn't that how we had to go and see when they thought we plagiarized each other's.

Yeah. Nice to see you again. Yeah. It did. I did. I was like, oh, it's a, it was a woman's name. And I remember seeing a man's. I was like, okay, it's obviously a different vice chancellor. That would have been the only thing. She's calling now. Hello, Homer speaking. Yes, I would be interested in being the Dean for a day. Have either of you guys been to a proper beauty salon and had a facial before? Uh, never. No.

No. I've had a face massage. Well, that's what I thought they were. So Bec's really been on my back. No, no, no, that's not facials. Bec's been really on my back lately about the lack of skincare that you, we always have a little joke about between all of us. She's really hitting the year about to hit mid 40s.

She keeps emphasizing mid. And she's a lot younger then. Yeah, she is. And she said she'll never be as old as you. I can't imagine. He says it's rappling too far away. She used the phrase. It's rapidly catching up with you. Your age is rapidly catching up with you. Well, which and even your dog has mud baths. So you really have to start doing you're the only one in the house that's not taking care of themselves. Did you do it? We've already talked about this, about the old, the spot, right? The liver spot, like you just, like the age spot, because I noticed you had one appear on your face. It wasn't there in old photos. And I've kind of got one. I'm only just noticing it for the

first time now. An old man's spot. Yeah, but I've got one on my head and you're just like, well, you know, we've, we've been doing Hey, we've been doing Hey, we've been doing it since we were like nine, 10 years old. So you're going to be, you are going to look different and it does happen. But I was just like, Oh, you know, this isn't, things are changing. I'm not saying I think you do a good job, Andrew. I think I'm doing. You put yourself together. Oh, I pop the occasional pimple and I rub a moisturizer on my face one or two every 20 days.

And I feel like that's kept me going. It doesn't mean you're an adolescent just because you get pimples. Exactly. So Bex said, no, I've booked you in, you have to go to this thing. I'm like, okay, I'll go. It seemed like really important to her. I'm thinking, it's going to be fine. I mean, your face rubbed, massaged like, great. Kind of like a haircut. Like they put oils and stuff. I would have thought, Pavel, Zoe does it to me, she's done it to me before at home with like go-to stuff.

So she'd just be like, come on, we're doing something about this. And then there's a particular order. So it always laughs at me because I go, I just use all her stuff in the bathroom because she has a skincare company. But I rub it on. Like sunscreen. She's got a problem with how rough I am rubbing it on. What are you doing? I was like, well, if there's some leftover, I rub it through the beard. Exactly. Apparently there's this like circle thing you meant to do around your eyes. No, I do it all like face wash. Doesn't matter what the cream is, it just gets a vigorous rubbing. Tell you what though, on the haircare side of things, this is sort of facial because of beard. But Jack, do you do this with Bianca's products in the bathroom?

If Zoe's away and I know I'm not going to get caught, she's not going to walk into the shower, I'll go wild with her shampoos and conditioners in my beard. Like I treat my beard to a day spa. Yeah, lovely though. And it is amazing. She's caught me once and she told me off because there was like a hundred dollar shampoo in there or something. But it feels incredible. Like I, it's one of my favorite things to do is to have illegal day spas for my beard when Zoe can't catch me. And it's like taking in a, like you find

a rescue dog and you like take it to one of your dog's day spas and stuff. It's like watching a reality show on Bravo. I'm doing all these wild treatments to this hair. Well, this is what I'm thinking. It's not that these days, they electrocute your face. What? They electrocute your face. It's like some scene out of a James Bond where they're trying to get the codes off him or something.

Oh, weird. So I lie back down and she puts blackout goggles on me. Right? She said, this is for the safety of your eyes. I'm like, hang on. What lotion in my eyes? Yeah, you don't want to get suds in there. I think I'll cope. And then she says, it'll feel like just a bit of warmth like barley. Barley?

Then I hear this sound. Then I hear this sound. And that wand comes closer to your face and she starts electrocuting my face. Sounds like she's starting the barbecue. It does. You actually hold the gas and then once it engages, twist it to lower. It won't engage, so you twist it to lower flight. That's like a Guantanamo facial. It was the weirdest thing. She said, I thought it might hurt. It's like a Guantanamo facial. It was the weirdest thing.

She said, I thought it might hurt. It hurt so much. What's the point of the electrocution? She said to- To stimulate skin cells or something. Yeah. Simulate something. And-

Get away with a lot. Stimulation is such a great buzzword for like the lights, the lasers, the, you know, the red light mask you see. Yeah. It's just all about, oh no, it penetrates deep. And that's the other trick too. This, oh, it goes deep. Yeah.

You can't see it on the surface. Sorry. Sorry. It's happening backstage. You'll see it later. So one point I was trying to, I was like, if Jibbit gets this done, and she's never mentioned that it hurts, like it was very painful. And at one point I squirmed

a lot and she said, is this sore? And I said, yes. She said, maybe it might, for a male's face it may be exploding the hair follicles in your beard. Have you shaved today? And I was like, no, I hadn't. She said, well, next time you're in here. I was like, there's not going to be a next time. She said next time. Is it because you're such a leather face? Like you've got, you do have that sort of weathered old, beaten up face.

You're such a leather face that it can't break through the skin. Whereas Beck is like silk and it penetrates easily. I think it's just the hair. I think it's the hair. No, I think it's the leather face. I think it's like trying to get a staple through a handbag. Couldn't do it. I think it's like trying to get a staple through a handbag. Couldn't do it.

So she says, I'll just try and stay above the beard line. And we're hearing, it's still going through and occasionally grabbing me. Then she noticed I go, and she goes, are you smelling something? It's like, yes. She goes, that'll just be burned skin. What is this place? What is this place that Becca sent me to? So I said, okay, I think that's enough of that. I'm smelling that pretty strongly.

And she said, right, so you're not enjoying that? I said, no, no, no. She goes, well, I'll just finish that with- It's like the origin story for a Marvel villain. Yeah. Like, look at her face. You know, he went to get a beauty facial one time and it went wrong. Yeah.

She then says, that's okay. We'll just finish up with inside your mouth. They electrocute the inside of your mouth. The cheeks. The inside of the cheeks. Yes. Apparently to try and stimulate the muscles inside and pull it up. And I stimulated these mouth muscles by saying, no, I'm not doing that. Yes.

But I will tell you how much was this? How much? Don't know. Cause Beck paid for it. But I tell you what, we got bad news at no point today. If I thought you looked any different, yes, I haven't noticed. In fact, in fact, in fact, if I had to, you've had to look at the black box recording in my head. When you sat down I was like, there's old leather face.

I think, unfortunately, I can't lie because it's in my log already. It was said. The only thing I've noticed about Andy today is when Hamish pointed out his old man spot. So you do look older to me than normal. She might have stimulated it. She wanted to get rid of it. She said, can I burn off his old man spot. So you do look older to me than normal. She might have stimulated it. She wanted to get rid of it. She said, can I burn off the old man spot, right?

I mean. She didn't refer to it as the old man spot. Just let me get this lightsaber and I'm gonna poke it through your head. No, keep it, Ando. Keep it. Hey, boy, are we excited about this one. After speaking to Charles last week on the pod, if you missed it, please don't have to

go back to the start, but just catch that one because it helps for this segment. But he wrote it on HamishNeedy.com. He said, brace yourselves for the most ribbiting special skill. And he had that ribbiting in quotation, because it was frog related. And he spoke of a girl that could identify a frog by its croak. And we thought that's our show. If that's true. This is what special skills were invented for. We had the early days catastrophe with Is it a Duck?

Is it a Coot? And we learned our sort of species lesson there. Maybe we're not the show for ducks. No. We could be the place. But a duck is a coot, a coot is a duck. We could be the place for frogs and people that can identify their individual croaks. Sharl has put us in contact with Jordan.

She joins us now. Ahoy. Hi. Now Jordan. joins us now. Ahoy. Hi. Now Jordan, you are a young woman that has specialized in amphibian pronunciation or croaks and ribbits.

What is your title in the frog? Like what degree do you have? Do you have a frog related degree or are you just an enthusiast? Well, a bit of colon A, bit of colon B. So I am a, we're called a herpetologist. So I study reptiles and amphibians. I'm currently doing my PhD.

So I'll also be, I'll almost be a doctor in frogs. But yeah, my day job not long ago was at the frog ID app. So I was a FrogID validator. So my nine to five job was listening to frog calls and identifying them. Yeah, based on their croaks. Oh my gosh. So do people send them in? Is that how it works? Do people send in and they go, I recorded this frog here and I think it's this frog? Yes. Yeah. So the FrogID app is a free app that you can download. And yeah, it's, you

can go outside and record your frogs in your backyard or in your local area and then they get sent to us. And there's a team of us doing this. So it's not just me. I'm not the only frog collector. Is it a free app that does involve in-app purchases? Like, could it be like, whoa, you've requested the Toad Pack. That would be $4.99. We probably should have thought of that, but no, it's all completely free. Good on you.

I mean, so you guys are all obviously volunteering your services here to help mankind's understanding of frogs. We know Carly, our producer who has sourced today's frog calls. She's a convert. She bloody loves it. She's completely fallen in love with frogs and frogs calls. Can I ask a question? We've listened, I listened, we listened to a few of these just before we got you on.

To me, it's a few of them actually sounded I thought Andy was doing a funny, sounded like Andy doing the frog call. Like some of them sound like a human mucking around. Did you ever have people send them in that were doing that that were like, let's see if we can stitch up the frog people and we'll send in us doing the voice. Oh, absolutely. If I could get money for every time that someone had just went ribbit and then started laughing. Yeah. Guys that's not on. The frog people are volunteering their time. They're working hard. They don't need prank croaks coming in. Anyone leave a fart? There's a few but I don't know if they're on purpose or accidental. As we've seen from this show, both are possible.

Jordan, thank you so much for doing this for us. Charles, the one that recommended you, you seem like you've got a supreme skill, but we do have to test that. There's going to be five frogs with five different sounds. You said you're confident you can do this down the phone, which is incredible. We've checked there's no type of frog shazam where you can be holding the phone up to some kind of app that identifies it

For you, so it'll be coming out of your brain Five of them. Hey, we saying four out of five gets her a coin Yeah, yeah, I think I think four out of five will get you a mission Andy coin Jordan. Are you ready? I hope so I think so. Yes. Let's do it. Good luck. So what was that froggy Jordan will know? Just one croak and she'll guess the type. Now what was that froggy Jordan will know. Let's hope she lives up to the hype. We really do. The hype is high. The hype is high. Jordan, we're going to be very quiet.

No fake sounds. No farts. Hold them in boys. Can't promise anything for Jack. Here's your first Rob. Oh, okay. That, hmm, I'm gonna take... I guess... Uh-huh. Hmm... I'm worried you've already stumped me. Um... So are we. That... uh...

Chuck any old frog in there. Thanks. Um, a tree frog. No, it was a Martin's toadlet. Ah, okay. Does that sound familiar now? A tree frog. No it was a Martin's toadlet. Ah, okay. Does that sound familiar now? Is that like, is that like, oh gosh, course, it's a Martin.

That one's quite a rare species, so you really, you threw me a loop straight away. Sorry. I have to pick up my game. No, that's my fault. It is quite small, no it's a medium sized frog, only 3.5 centimetres in length from memory. All right, all right, Jordan, you can now not miss any of the next four. Here is your second.

Always for a great comeback. Okay. Okay, this one's definitely one of the Latoria frogs. So a tree frog based frog. I want to say it might be a Centrallian tree frog. It might not be. I'm not doing well, am I? No, Jordan. It might not be. I'm not doing well, am I? No, Jordan, it might not be that.

We've got written here, Dally Waters frog from a cyclorana. Oh, I see. Is that, yeah. Or Dally Waters, probably found around the Dally Waters area. But how do we feel about that now we know the name? Does that sound more like it? I mean, yes, I am aware of that frog. The NT is not my strong point,

but I did claim that I could do any Australian frog, so. Yeah. True. But maybe with- I'm not doing well. But with three fast ones, you could finish with honor. Yes, that's true. Should we go- I can't coin up for grabs, but then if you miss on the next one, you'd definitely risk being one of the worst players

on that show, so we're right at that cusp. Yeah, we're right at the tipping point here. Yeah, of being still memorable, but for very bad reasons. So, it's... I should probably claim now that this is not a reflection on the Frog ID app. This is an reflection on one false claimed employee. No, Jordan, you've got this.

Here comes frog number three. Okay. Okay I know this one a hundred percent. Go for it. This is the quacking frog from WA. She's got it. She's got it. The quacking frog from WA. And you're avoiding the wall of the quacking frog from WA. And you avoid the wall of shame. Well done. Charging back. Charging, charging back. Quite amazing that frogs can quack. Yeah.

Because they say that, isn't that what they're saying? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck. It is a duck. But it doesn't look like a duck because we have the picture of the frog here. Yes, but it's still the quacks like a duck. The quacks like a duck. That's why they've included looks like. It looks like a frog and quacks like a duck. It's a quacking frog.

Okay, number four. Here we go. Boom. Go for it. Okay. I'm not, I'm not copying out of this one, but I think it's a Cofixilus frog, so a nursery frog, but I can't tell you the exact species. We don't have that information to have. You sort of keep mentioning, it's almost like you're mentioning like the band it's from, but you can't remember the singer. I know it's someone from Wu-Tang Clan, but I can't remember which guy it is. We have down here Rain Whistling Frog. Is that part of the same band?

No, it's not. Oh no. Okay. Now we're in real tricky territory. Do you want to give up now at a 25% hit rate or play on for the possibility? The tricky thing is the final frog is a Northern Territory frog, not your favourite area of frogs. Oh true.

Look, I'm going to go down with the ship. Great. I'm committed. So let's see. Let's see. Okay, here we go. It's like you're kind of getting zapped or something, doesn't it? Yeah, sort of, it sounds like you're stepping on it. Yes.

The noise my cat makes if you step on them. How do you feel about that one? Okay. It's a toadlet species, am I right? Correct, good, good, good. Which is a frog we all have learnt today. There's probably about five or six toadlets it could be. So I'm just going to take my best educated guess and say northern toadlet.

What would number two guess have been? Hmm, okay, maybe a Howard Springs token? Yay! She's been thinking on your second guess every time. Second guess specialist. Jordan, well done. We loved having you on. You cannot tell everybody that that's your special skill because we have proved that you can't do it, but we will send you out a token of no value.

It's probably one of our best fails, to we will send you out a token of no value. It's probably one of our best fails to be honest. It's probably one of our most interesting fails. Yeah, an interesting fail. I mean, because also the skill level required was so high. Yeah. I was surprised to find out. Much better than throwing an engineer a ceiling.

He did get very close on his second shot. Jordan, thank you very much for joining us. Appreciate it. Thanks for having me. Bye. Thanks, Jordan. for having me. Bye. Thanks, Jordan. Bye. Tell me if you agree with this theory, right?

Here's my, I'll go general theory on the speed of things. Okay. Familiarity breeds like speed. Okay. If you're familiar with something, you can be fast. We've talked about before with speed corners in the home. Yes. The more familiar you get. I was thinking about this the other day. I was like, I don't think I'd nominate this as a special skill, but I reckon I could get close where here's one example of it in nature. If you showed me someone driving into their driveway at home, I could tell you how long they've lived in that house. Because we've got like a quite an awkward angle on our driveway.

And when we first moved in, it was a slow approach. Yeah. I come into that thing now with zero braking and land and I landed on a dime. Yeah. I landed on a dime and you'd go, that guy's lived in that house. It has to be two years past. It has to be two years. It has to be two more years.

My old warehouse apartment, which everyone used to go, oh my God, it's so tight to get in and out of. I'm like, what do you mean? No, when we stayed at your place, we dinted the car door coming out of your driveway. You've always known the parameters of your cars though, Andy, from when Andy and I first

met. Andy's on his P's and would take very tight gaps in the traffic without flinching and we would always come to the thought he really knew the parameters of the Nissan Pintaro. I saw a guy the other day, I saw a guy in a Tesla Jack, one of your friends in a Tesla 3 who really didn't know the parameters of his car. He didn't know. Verified trying to get between the garbage truck and the traffic parked on the street. Like a good foot either side. And I'm like, mate, you have the world's best radars on that car.

Yes. But they're very, like, it's, I find the Tesla is the first car I've had with any kind of sensors on it that tell you if you're getting close to something. So I don't really know what to compare it to, but it starts making a lot of noise before there's any real danger. We may have talked about this before, but there should be different modes within the car about how much censoring you want in your car. We talked about it with, my car's lost its ability to censor.

My car's getting old. Because I hit, remember I had, I hit the tree. Then it beeped. It had woken up the security guard. Sorry. That's my one. So coming into my gate, like there's only one way to get through it. And I fit in it every time except the car goes, dididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid like, you know, four minute car wash for 16, whatever, 12 bucks, nine bucks, whatever it is. You have to drive onto, first you have to drive onto a circular turning thing to line the car up, and then you have to drive the car to the bit where the wheel goes in the guiding system.

Yes. The franticness with, like when you're driving your front, when you're driving, you're inching your car forward to get the wheel into the guide thing for the car wash. The way the guy waves at you, like, come on, come on, come on, like the speed at which he's calling you in, it's like you're a hundred meters from the thing. Like he is like, come on, come on, come on, come on, but like, I can't be that far off. Like I'm almost hitting you, but he's like so angry at you. Like just come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, like, you know, do you need a bit of extra to get over?

Like, is no, no, you don't, you don't. And then he changes. It's always the same guy. And he goes from, and I've said to the kids, like, watch how fast this guy waves. It doesn't match the scenario. He waved so fast and you're inching forward, like, like, you know, creeping forward. and he's acting like, mate, you keep this speed up, it's going to take you an hour to get on the plate. So he's like, more, more, more, more, more. Then you inch forward and as soon as you near it, he's frantically yelling, stop, you're about to run him over. He needs, he needs

another gear. He needs to go nearly, nearly. Yeah, and you'd think he'd be familiar. And he's doing it every day. And it's the same. It's actually the same now that I think about it as airport security. You know, when you've had, like, you don't want to do the wrong thing at airport security. If it goes off and you go back and you take your belt off or whatever, the wave through after that, like, come on, you're holding everyone up. It's like, all right, we get it. You're here every day.

I don't have the speed capable to me because I don't operate in this system every day. You guys should see me in my driveway. I'm amazing, okay? I wish I could just show, I'm gonna get a little video of me driving my car into my driveway to show them that I'm actually very good at speed

in situations that I'm familiar with. I love taking time out to view that.