Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 260 - Soft Truths

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Hamish's moon boots have arrived, so he takes them out for a spin to see just how fast he can walk. Andy launches a new segment trying to get to the bottom of the small truths in life, plus a commercial pilot joins the boys on air to talk about shaky landings. George from Seinfeld might be ripping off the show, and Hamish's wife Zoe thinks she has a fool proof way to ward off demons.  1. Moon walker boots arrive 2. Soft truths 3. Pilot Josh talks shaky landings 4. Limes to ward off demons 5. Jason Alexander’s bell 6. AI temperature check 

A listener production. Activate your Internet because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three. Two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to me, rah. Hamish. Thank you. No clues? No idea?

No, not as yet. Ahoy to me, Osiris. Okay, we're some kind of gods. Oh, we're Egyptian gods. He's got it! Rah, am I the sun god? You are the sun god. You're depicted by a man with a hawk's head.

That's me. That's you. Ra. Osiris. Jack is classically depicted as a green skinned deity with the pharaoh's beard, being the beard boys. And I was Anubis, depicted as a man with... A nudist. A nudist. No, a nudist.

Depicted by a common god that would run through the other hieroglyphics, shaking its willy in the face of whoever was sculpting, and was a bit of a nuisance, but would be chiselled into the walls of the tomb nonetheless. No, not a nudist. A noob-is. A noob. Depicted a man with a... the dog head. Bit of a noob.

Yes. I was more the guide to the underworld. You were the kind of judge of and lord of death, Jacko. And Haim, you were the big dog. Creator of all other gods and humans. You're welcome. Thank you very much. We're truly indebted.

Ahoy also to Chris, who used haimishnanny.com to upload what he's been up to at the moment. Ahoy boys. So I'm just sitting at my piano keyboard thinking about the Upset Andy theme song. So my question is, Andy, do you get upset that Hamish is singing in the wrong key in that opening theme? So it's Catch My Disease by Ben Lee. It should sound like this.

Everything is neat and practical. A bit high for my liking. That's the way he likes it. So the song is in the key of B major. But Hamish, when he sings it comes in the key of E major down here. E major, yeah, that's okay. Everything is neat and practical. And that's the way he likes it.

And Hamish, was this a deliberate choice? and practical and that's the way he likes it. And Hamish, was this a deliberate choice? Yes. So that when Andy hears the opening theme, he is already a little bit upset before hearing an onslaught of upsetting things. Now you got it, now he's got it. Hey Joe, welcome back to the quarter. Everyone could have done the easy high one.

B major, one of the easiest ways to sing. No, I think the general surprise for me, Chris, is that Hamish is vaguely in tune during that opener. Thank you. Back from the days when he used to do more than one take and go, that'll do. It's funny because that's probably the oldest thing, because that appeared back in radio days. That's probably the oldest thing, because that appeared back in radio

days. That's probably the only thing, opener, I can think of. And that would have been absolutely one take. And we thought we were going to do it once. And it's now stuck around for 10 years. Much to my despair. You can't change it. Haim, you won at the top of the show today.

Oh boy. It's a special day in the kingdom of impulse buyers. What's the sun god been even the sun gods been done something rash even for a god who invented the universe. The sun god has gone and shone some sun rays on a pile of money and burnt it. The sun god has incinerated some money from the joint account, but the sun god wishes, hear him out, he is the god of all things. I've bought something that is the king of impulse buyers. This is the big one. From the joint account.

This is the biggest fish of all the fish thus far. I saw this thing two years ago, right when we're in the, I reckon in the heart of impulse club and I was like, Oh my God, look at that. So much. It costs. Don't worry about that. I was like, look at that. That needs to be had.

They weren't made at that stage. They're an invention and they were. Oh, they'll try to crowd kickstart it. Oversubscribed I'll have, you know, they went an invention and they were... Oh, they were trying to crowdfund. Kickstarter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oversubscribed, I'll have you know.

They went viral around the world. Did you show me this at the time? I might've. I might've. And then it came to my attention the other day that they are now in production. What is it? Do you remember? Did I show you...

You showed me a drone that follows you? No, although very keen. GPS drones. People think that exists and it doesn't. I'm still, they'll come out. What do you want to film yourself doing? Well, like you play golf and it'll follow you the whole round just filming it. Oh, that's a good idea.

Walking pace, I guess. Although, if you were wearing these, you might be a bit faster than walking pace. Do you remember me showing you robotic shoes called moon walkers? Yes. To paint the picture there, each shoe is like a little sled that has eight wheels on it that have an electric motor in them. And you then strap that little sled to your feet. So you're still wearing your shoes and you strap it on and they flex.

You walk along and using AI and electric motors, it speeds you up two and a half times the speed of your normal walk. And you walk normally. You walk normally and you are zooming along. Walk at the speed of a run. Is that tagline. So I'm showing you guys a video now. This will be me.

Look at that. Walking at the speed of a run. And they show going uphill, downhill. They're amazing. Those models showing that off, Jack. They've done like five years of training to make that look normal. It's interesting that you say that because I bought them about two weeks ago. What did they do?

Amazing timing. While we're here, like we're here doing the podcast now, we just had sushi for lunch, Zoe sends me a message. They've landed on the front doorstep. She's like, what are these? Cause it's quite clear from the outside, they're robotic shoes. And I just went, put them aside. You know, I'll be home later.

Just a lot of head shaking going on from Zoe. Can you please not try them without us being there? I, well, the thing is you have to learn how to do them. I know, but that's why I'd like you to please not try them without us being there. It's just what we need to capture first go. Yeah, but that's why I'd like you to please not try them without us being there. I realised. You need to capture first go. Yeah, we can, we can. We can.

I know that eventually we'll give these away. Oh yeah. Because I might not. You got kangaroo boots when you said that you'd be able to jump higher than anyone. These are more practical than that. And then we got a grandpa that was the office friend of ours, Harv's, to come out and he could jump over a box and you couldn't. But these are more practical than the kangaroo boots.

Although it's a bold move to wear them in public. Well, it looks like a sandal. It does look like a reef sandal. A reef sandal. A chunky reef sandal with eight wheels on the bottom. It's one of those, it's a fascinating category of product because you look at it and go, I want to have a go. Those that are a little bit more susceptible to marketing will spill further and buy them.

But then when you think about that, so they get so excited when you buy it, they send you emails going, you know, they're on their way and, hey, I'm the founder and thanks so much for supporting a robotics company. They're an impressive piece of equipment. But then, How much? Then they start going... Then they start going... This is where you know how much they've cost. Yes. And... We don't know how much they've cost.

Well, I do in my heart. Yeah. And then they go, like, we'd love to know, like, what are you going to use your moonwalkers for? Yeah. Do you want them to use, like, just tick a box for what you're going to use them for underneath. I am going to use them with the box.

To improve my daily commute. Oh yes. No. To be more efficient at work. No, I'm not going to wear them around in here. To make walking easier. I find it quite easy. And then to do something else, like, yes.

Yeah. And that's when you realize, what am I going to do? Did I buy these to have one go of them? And I might have bought these to have one go. However, you then look at the reviews. Then another email came the reviews. Let me read you some of these. They're not emailing you the real reviews, are they?

They're not going to go... No, no, they go, don't take our word for it. Check out what is some of it. Because maybe they have a thing where people return them in the interim, where they're like, oh my God, I love these so much. And then they start going, what will I use these for? They got to that ticking box section and went, I've got no read for these. So they go, don't take our word for it. Check out what other,

your fellow moonwalker users have to say. One person, five stars. They make my daily commute so much faster. I save time walking so I can spend longer with my family. So the kids will be going, you're home early, dad. Have you noticed my red body shoes? So if his commute is half an hour walk. Yep, two and a half times faster than that. He's getting there in 10 minutes.

He's walking at the speed of a run. He's walking at the speed of a run. He's walking at the speed of a run. Next review, five stars, able to move much more efficiently. You're like, I was hating walking. Able to move much more efficiently, saving 30 to 75 minutes per day. Would you say that they've... Sorry, that's a huge amount. You were walking by my calculations to save 75 minutes a day.

He was walking for 200 minutes a day. Yeah. So that might be a postman or someone that was walking a lot. But yeah. So to me, I mean, rollerblades, roller skates, they look very similar, don't they, to those and there's motorized versions of them now. Is there? No.

No, but these, you can strap these on your shoe. Yes. And that's a lot better. Okay. And how do they go on rougher terrain? Like even sometimes the footpath. Really good. Sometimes even the footpath, if it's a bit cracked. They love cracks. They gobble them up. This is another review here.

Works so great, even on cracks. Right. Well, we just, I mean, if we can't be there, because I know you'll rip this over soon to get time. There's no way he's holding out for us. If we can't be there, we have to at least send someone to film you. All right. I'll film the first, because you have to do training on them first. I imagine so.

And get you some of those like gestures and stuff you have to do. Look, it's actually not, when you start thinking about all the minutes you save and about how some of the other reviews talk about how they make the walking experience far more interesting, when you start looking at that value that they add to your life. I don't think $1,500 is too much of a dent in the old hip pocket for time gained and efficiency earned. Oh. No, no, no. Mate, that money was just sitting there. I've been watching it for months. It's not doing anything.

Truth is hard to come by these days. Everyone has their own truth. Would we agree? Yes, sorry. I was about to scream out dare. Truth or dare? We'll start with truth or dare. Donald Trump has his truth social. Of course, that's very factual. It's hard to find hard truths these days. Yep, everything could have a counter opinion. But I wanted to see whether between the three of us, we could agree on some soft truths. These are elements in life that we can all accept a truth.

They're not big, big issues, so I don't think we have to have huge opinions, but... It's the idea here, if we start small and agree on these, maybe we could build up through medium truths up to some hard truths. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. This is like day one at the gym, just walk. Yeah. That's all you have to do, just get in the door.

So I've got a few soft truths to throw at you today to see if we can agree on them. Okay. But we are still allowed to disagree. Absolutely. And we can just say we're not agreeing on that. Okay. Good. Five minute parking spots. Uh oh. Danger area for me. Are really minimum 15 minutes.

Amish would park there all day. What if I could? And I can. As you know Andy, I play the game. I play the game. I play it hard and I play it accepting full consequences. I think it's a strategy I receive. It's like when you're in the Sopranos. It's like, hey, if you're in this thing that we do, this game, you accept the consequences.

You might end up at the bottom of a river, that's just part of the game. Which is a parking fine. Which is an inner city parking fine. But a five minute park, you're like okay well I know I'm going to be here guaranteed for longer than five minutes. Yes. And I play the game and sometimes you can be there for two hours and they don't get you and then other days they will get you. Yeah I don't think though the parking inspector wouldn't get you for anything less than 15. I agree. that's my soft truth. As I always say to Zoe when you usually it's a half hour park she's like oh we can't park here for dinner it's half hour. It's half hour from when they find you. Yes. That's exactly right.

Okay that's when I don't see them right now. That's when the clock begins. So we're already at least 31. Now if they come along in 20 minutes' time, we've got this. I agree. So can we agree, five minute spots are really minimum 15. Five to 15. And 15 minute spots are really minimum 45. I think it's a three times multiplier. Yep.

One is a three, two is a six. No worries. Great, okay, good. Another soft truth for us then. The settings from one to three on a toaster are pointless. They are totally pointless. I think it is, but also the difference between seven to eight is from medium brown to black. And I don't think anyone ever puts something on for one to three.

Because even if you need a bit more, you're monitoring it. You're monitoring. We actually have a very must be nice toaster that has a bit more button. So when it comes up, you can select literally a bit more and it will go down for a bit. And I'll just keep sending it up and down, up and down, because I'm doing many, many things in the morning because I'm fast and loose. I will forget about the toast several times. It's like a snooze button and I'll send it down for a bit more.

And it will because then when it's been up for a while, you've got to set it down to just get warm. Yes. I'm just sending it down to get warm, but I don't think it does any cooking. Yeah. Which if I didn't have that, if times were tough, I would buy a toaster with, yeah, and I just put it down at one to three. Yeah. Yeah. OK. I would buy a toaster with, yeah, and I just put it down at one to three. Yep. Yeah. Okay.

The vacuum cleaner comes with eight different heads. Normally. I throw them out. Yeah, you do. No one is using more than three of them. I throw them out. First thing I do. Yeah. Absolutely.

I agree on the three. I use one. There's two modes. I use one and then nozzle off. There's two modes. That's it. There's two modes for vacuum cleaner. The big head and the pipe. And when you're trying to get the pipe in a corner, who remembers where they've got the other thin nose? Because mine's thrown out. Just because I'm sick of seeing it in the cupboard. And the way you get dirt out of the corner is just jamming the pipe in the corner as hard as you can.

And it doesn't work, but then you use your fingers to sweep crumbs out of the corner and then jamming the pipe in the corner as hard as you can and it doesn't work but then you use your fingers to sweep crumbs out of the corner and then you can get them up so it's never perfect. So you think it's a I was gonna suggest you have the flat one like the normal one you always use then you've got the anteater nozzle the thin nose and then you've got the brush oh here we go Jack, it's a slippery slope mate and then you've got the brush. Oh here we go Jack, it's a slippery slope mate and then you've got the articulated brush and soon you've got them all back. You can't give an inch. Okay so we can't agree on this one. In the 80s two modes were good enough in the 80s, head and pipe. Smart for Hamish as well to throw them out straight away because there's

things that you just know you're never going to use. I do it with the spare button on a button-up shirt. Throw that out every time. Throw that straight away because you're never gonna use. I do it with the spare button on a button-up shirt. Throw that out every time. Throw that straight away, because you're never ever gonna find it again. Because I promise you, you're living... Well, mine goes into a little canister with a button-up. What a surprise.

Labeled, labelled, colour-coded, and you will be able to bring it up on his spreadsheet immediately. Yes, industry olive shirt. Photograph of him wearing the shirt for reference. Goes down to the knick-knacks archive under the house, Yes, industry olive shirt. Photograph of him wearing the shirt for reference. Goes down to the knickknacks archive under the house, walks up to aisle 33B, walks along, here we go, B's a gay man.

Chat to the old lady, he manages it for me. It's like doing decibels in a library. Oh, I can see you down here, as you're looking for the smoke alarm battery. No, Doris, as you well know, that's daylight savings is when I changed that. All right, we agreed on two out of three. That's not too bad. Yeah, you're not going to get us on that one. Hey, I can't believe I've having talked, got to this earlier, but the best ever pledge of I will not talk

about a certain character came from a pilot where I sent you the picture. I think we posted it on our pipes. I had another one yesterday, Streets of Melbourne. On the Streets of Melbourne. Sorry, that just wasn't a cool song title. On the Streets of Melbourne, a gentleman comes up and it's very cold, very, very cold, under two layers. Zip, zip.

It was like the Army Reserves out. You know the Army Reserves? And it was just like, I'm just making sure that the pledge remains. Good work. Get it out there. Well, I was on a flight back from London. The actual pilot. Must be nice. The actual pilot.

Must be nice. The actual pilot. Who you would have been very close to. Who he was. As I was in the terminal, I was walking past him and he said, Andy, and he unbuttoned his pilot shirt and just like Superman, just giving a little sneak peek as, hey, what's this? And he had said, I will not mention.

Obviously. The person we don't mention. And I think the best way to wear the t-shirt is under multiple layers of clothing. I encourage that, go now. I still don't know whether this shirt is available, but go check it out. There might not be any left, but please, if you'd like some of the last. But when I saw that photo of the pilot, I was just like, this is exactly the areas we don't want it mentioned in. Exactly.

And so to be ramping up the confidentiality in the airline sector isn't perfect. So I immediately knew that the pilot was a listener. I got on and when he did his initial address to the whole cabin, I really realised he was a listener. Now I couldn't get my phone out in time to record it, so I double-checked it with Beck. We feel like we've got the great recreation here of exactly how he addressed the entire cabin as they came back to Melbourne for London. Ahoy ladies and gentlemen and Qantas One World Flyers gusto to you. We have a flight time of three hours and sixteen minutes. There could be possible delays into our final destination

due to traffic which we'll do our best to weasel out of but sit back, relax, enjoy the flight. For those travelling on we wish you a safe forward journey and for those arriving home that must be very nice. So we ticked all the boxes. And did he open the door and then lean out to you and first to go, do you like that, mate? No, it wasn't him first. Oh, common businessman.

In touch with the common businessman and shunning his nose at first the worst. He had done so well. Cheers, Winx. He did come down and visit Beck and I and we were like, that's nice to meet you. So at first the worst. He had done so well. Cheers, winks. He did come down and visit Beck and I and we were like, that's nice to meet you. Eight steps. Show me the cabin they sleep in. Very good.

Very nice. I would like to lie. They have a separate cabin that's not the cockpit. They do. I thought they would just recline. No one would sleep in the cockpit. I thought they'd just recline the cockpit chair and the number two would fly for a bit and then they'd swap over.

Yeah, no, I feel like when you really think about it, the cockpit's for business. I think if you are a pilot, you're absolutely on the job in the cockpit. But if any alarms start buzzing and you were asleep, then you're right there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if you're on shift, you're not allowed to sleep. I understand what you mean, but yes, if you're not flying the plane, I think you're allowed to leave the cockpit and then someone else will fly the plane. Well, you know where the overhead baggage is? Yeah, I've seen that little bunk.

Yeah, they sleep in overhead bag. It's like that, but up the front. It's like a little bunk system. I didn't realise. It looked like a cupboard. He opened it up, there was a tiny staircase. And I realised that the overhead baggage in the centre, the first three don't come down. It's actually the little pod.

I love that. I imagine how snug you would be. Oh, it looked comfy, mate. You said you get seven hours. This is the kind of stuff you learn about if you go a little further in the plane from business. He gets seven hours. This is the kind of stuff you learn about if you go a little further on the plane from business. He gets business flights. I'm just saying if the person we never mentioned really loved you, he'd be putting you in first.

There was actually no first class on this one. Not available. Not available. Anyway, he was champion, legend, and then came in and did the worst landing I have ever experienced. What do you mean? Like it just a thud or like, you know, when the baggage compartments fling open and drop down, even the ones that aren't meant to, I think the other copilot fell out from his sleeping bin.

His pajamas. It was just an absolute Barry Crocker. And Beck and I were like, Oh, geez, I wonder how you feel about that. Is it the computer's fault though? Because I heard they land mostly just, there's very little human intervention in the landing. Here's my question. So joining us now, now I can't say whether it's the actual pilot or there is just a different pilot altogether because contractually they're not allowed to join us. So we won't reference anything of those actual flight, but joining us now is Josh, pilot Josh.

Ahoy to you. Ahoy boys and number six, happy birthday. Thank you, pilot Josh. So Josh, I mean, sorry, I didn't know we were getting an actual pilot on. So a lot of, did you hear a lot of stuff that was going on there? A lot of questions we've got.

My first one is where we were talking about the landing. Is there much human intervention in a landing or do you just type into the computer, landplane.exe slash run? Well, interesting. I mean, there are some aircraft that are entirely capable of that. They call it a auto land, but there was a specific aircraft. They have to be certain rated. But a lot of the time the pilots do like to land by hand. So that sounds like it.

No, I love land by hand as a bit of lingo. Josh, when you have a shocker, when you have a bad one, do you know immediately? Oh, there's not a pilot in the land that doesn't know. And you can see it coming for about half a mile away. Just as you're making your final approach, you know, it might be set up a little bit wrong and you're feeling a little bit out of place and just there it goes. You know, as you as you touch down, you just know you've done an absolute shocker.

Is it to do with wind or is it just to do with sort of the angle? You know, that's one of the one of our favorite excuses in the industry is, you know, just in the last 50 feet or so, the wind picked up a little bit and it pushed us off. But sometimes it's, you're just a little bit lazy and you just kind of want to get there after a long day. If there's 50 meters to not rush, I'd say it's the final 50. Rush from 33,000 to 30,000 if you have to rush.

Josh, there's two pilots. Obviously there's a pilot and co-pilot. Who is the singular person in charge of the landing? Or can you kind of point the finger at both of you at that point? No, it depends who's flying the leg. So if you've been flying together for a few days, you kind of play the rock, paper, scissors

of who's going to get this landing, who's going to get the next landing. Do you want it? Yeah. It depends on the condition. Sometimes you'll throw your hands up and say it's gusting winds, the sol-gray weather, I think it's your turn to land today and you can take the plane. I think this is going on up there.

Without trying to be funny, it seems like a confidence game. Let's say you were flying with me and three times in a row, I just went, no, I'm not feeling it. Would that be enough for the word to get around to be like, don't fly with Hamish? He's, he's lost his confidence for landings. Yeah, it is a little bit of a confidence game sometimes, but, uh, you know, if you fly, there's always rumors in the industry and you know, there's always people talking and you know, Hey, this pilot doesn't like to land in these conditions.

Can't handle an easterly. When you've had a bad one, do you stick, do you not come out straight away? Do you stay in the clear? Don't do the handshakes. Cockpit a bit longer so you don't get the eyes from the staff or any passengers? It is the game sometimes. If you know you had an absolute greaser of a landing, a really good landing, you know it's whoever's going to get to the cockpit door first to take the thank yous. But if not, then luckily the door's installed and that bulletproofs, you just keep that thing locked until everyone's walked off and you close the door.

No one can get in. Under federal law, no one can get into complaints. Is it a nice thing? I've never really thought too much about the human side of landings. I think that's what we're learning a lot about today. I didn't know so much was land by hand. I really thought it was the computer. Is it a nice thing, should we all, the next time we fly,

would it be a nice thing to say to the pilot, that was a lovely landing, if it was a good landing? Would they appreciate that? I think the particularly smooth ones you should acknowledge and sometimes you get people come up and go, oh, you know, those are really good landing and it makes you smile a little bit and you look at the other guy and go, you hear that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't get a lot of that when you're flying. So just what airport was your worst landing at? I used to fly a lot out of Wellington, New Zealand, which is one of those notorious windy airports and sometimes at autopilots, you know, it's come off about 10 miles out, it's windy, it's bumpy and you're just happy to get it on the ground safely and you're not really too worried about what other people have to say. Yeah.

Josh, thank you so much for joining us, mate. Very insightful. Appreciate it, buddy. Sounds like a few people did say something. Yeah, boys, thank you. And you're still with us. You've done your best, Josh. Keep landing them smooth, my friend.

See you, buddy. Cheers, boys. Thank you. Gentlemen, we've covered this area before on the podcast. Do you think it's fair to say with the utmost love and respect to our partners that the women that we're lucky enough to have in our lives have sometimes some slightly more accommodating views on witchcraft than we have ourselves on witchcraft? Yes.

Okay. Yes. Certain. Yes. And you put that so well. It seems like you've gone away and just structured that sentence. You don't get a spell cast and you're soon to get home. Or I have a bone pointed at me and a curse placed uponst my head. Yeah. Now, like there's a spectrum.

There's a spectrum of witchcraft. I think like most, this is, you know, I know I'm generalizing here, but most women, like burning sage to cleanse a room, right? That's just a given now. Like everyone does that. And I think the part of that that's okay is it smells a bit nice and it gives a nice scent. It's not really hurting anyone. Burning sage is just like, now that's just, we treat it like it's Glen 20. Like people were just like, oh, well you've, and the amount of times I've heard Zoe say

to her friends who like moved into your apartment or something or something, they're like, well have you burnt Sage? Like, oh, well yeah, you're going to get struck by lightning every day until you burn Sage. Like you have to get the bad spirits out. How happy were Sage manufacturers? Yeah, Sage wasn't doing much before that manufacturers when this myth suddenly started resonating? Cause it would have been in a marketing meeting. It's probably from them.

It's like, I remember, I think that carrots that help you see in the dark, that was like a marketing myth to boom carrots. Yeah. Like if you get one of these people on your side and when they pitched it, they would have gone, no, no, people are going to fall for this. Mate, get it on TikTok, trust Yeah. And when they pitched it, they would have gone, no, people are going to fall for this. Like, mate, get it on TikTok. Trust us. This could take off.

I was also thinking, how disappointed would you be if you were a ghost, right? Like, cause obviously ghosts hate Sage. Oh yeah, apparently. If you were ghost parents and your ghost teenager started smoking Sage, you'd be like, what, mate, what are you doing? That's the most rebellious thing you could do as a ghost teenager. Like, get it out of here. You're killing it.

You're killing yourself. Do you realize how dangerous that is? So sage is a given. Like I used to kind of laugh at it, but now I'm like, yep, we must sage the house or anywhere that has, I think we had a leak once. Really? Yeah, it was you know, bad.

You sage the leak. Sage the leak. I think it was due to a bad spirit. It was, yeah, kicking the pipes or standing on the pipes or doing something to the pipes and stressing the pipes, scaring the pipes. They were leaking. Here's one where I was like, come on, we've got to stop believing TikTok. So our little girl, Rudy at the moment is having a bit of nighttime anxiety, right?

And that's common for kids around that age. So there's a few different approaches you can take. It's sort of like in the middle of the night, waking up, wanting to jump out of bed. And obviously that's disturbing people's sleep. So you start to look at like, all right, what solutions can we have? At the same time zone, I've come to the table with two different solutions. So I've gone, Hey, I found a great thing. Like it's a mindfulness exercise.

It's sort of like a breathing meditation. I thought I might start doing that with Rude before she goes to bed. And I think we should start implementing that as a bit of a nighttime practice. Zoe goes, well, I actually found something today. If you cut up limes, cut limes in half and leave them in a room, it cleanses. And then there was a bit of a pause. I go, yeah, say it. She goes, well, demons. Oh, come on. Come on. You've already had a witch out for this problem. Remember the witch scan room?

That's exactly what I said. I go, hang on, didn't we have a witch come through here and she saw no demons? She goes, well, she wasn't looking for demons. I was like, honey, you're a terrible witch if you can't see a demon. And you can't come back and go, I wasn't looking for demons. What were you looking for? They should be obvious. They should be very obvious to you see a demon. Yes. And you can't come back and go, I wasn't looking for demons. What were you looking for? They should be obvious. They should be very obvious to you as a witch. No, when you saw our quote, it was, g-g You should have absolutely, she should have opened Rudy's door and screamed and jumped back in the hall, there's a bloody demon in there.

Anyway, so I've gone, what even, so I start laughing and I'm like, we can't even entertain this. Like she goes, look, I saw it. What's the, I saw it on, you know, yes. I said, you see it on TikTok. Yeah, it was, it was on TikTok. And I said, what are we even, so like, what are we even, we can't even do this. Like, aren't we crossing a line here?

If we cut up limes and put them in our daughter's room. Cause then Rudy's going to go, what's, what's the limes doing in my room? That's exactly right. And, and you can't say it's cause there's demons in here. But don't worry, they get something in the citrus absorber. And also a bit of whiskey and dry ginger also helps absorb the demons. And so, like, I'm like, well, can we do the, let's do the meditating. Why don't we try the meditating first?

Why don't we try the mindfulness that I think has a little bit more of a chance of working. And so I was like, well, let's just do them both together. I was like, absolutely not. Because the mindfulness is going to work and the limes are going to get the credit. You can attribute it to the limes. Yeah, exactly. You can attribute it to the limes. Anyway, I go downstairs.

We do a bit of a meditation room, put it to sleep. As I'm walking out the door, I see on the top of her heater, the bollum. So I snuck limes in before I've got to do them on for this. I was like, I bring the bollums in, I'm like, what's this? It's like, don't take them out of the room. I was like, why doesn't it work? Now, annoyingly for me, I should have left them in there because then that night like, you know, it's going to take time.

Yeah. She wakes up and so he's like, well, you did the lives out. Everyone has a podcast these days. We know that to be a fact. If you're a celebrity, you have to have one, it seems. I think you might have to, yeah. I think it's like private health insurance. If you earn over a certain amount, you have to have private health insurance. I think if you're the same with a celebrity, you must

have a podcast and then you get a hip-eye levy or something. Yeah, you're too much of a drain on the public podcasting system. Pay your way. So Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld, he obviously got stung by the levy two years ago last year, launched his own podcast to avoid it. Good on him. Smart by him. Jerry doesn't have own, Julie Weed-Dreyfuss actually has a great one. Love Julie Weed-Dreyfuss.

So they're all getting, you know, Jerry will be next. The keen ears of podcast Mike here noticed something in Jason Alexander's podcast, right? And I want to play it. What's the name of it? Can we get some context? Is it just him? Don't tell me him chatting to other people in the industry?

Yeah, it's just him chatting to other people. Sharing some stories about the industry and a bit of take me back and occasionally weaving in an interesting Seinfeld anecdote. Am I in the ballpark? You are. It's called Really? No Really? with Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden. And yes, it's him just being a little shocked and having people in. Showbiz. Yeah. Okay. This is what was brought to my attention. This is what was brought to my attention. You did that show for three years? Three years. Over a thousand performances.

Okay, wow. Where'd that come from? Where'd the restaurant bell come from? He's using a bell. I've listened and I've watched a fair few things. I can't work out how he uses it. What's he using it for? Because it didn't seem like the wrap up.

It seemed... It sounded mid-conversation. From what I could gather is when he thought that's interesting, he hit it right. So it's like the guy in Breaking Bad, Uncle Nestor, communicating with his bell. So he's chatting to Newman here in this particular pod, but have another quick listen to it. See if you can work out. You did that show for three years? Three years.

Over a thousand performances. Okay. I think it's when he's loud. Because it's not when they mention a number because three years gets a ding, but a thousand performances doesn't. Yeah. Unless it's like a correct bell. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Because they do reiterate, yes, I did do it for three years. So you reckon for every one of these guests, they have a fact checker. And so Jason will throw it Newman. Why not?

Why not? He throws to Wayne. You did it for three years. Wayne confirms it. They get a nod from the fact checker. Then he hits the bell. Is that what he's doing? You did that show for three years? Three years.

What do you think it is? I think they have a correct bell. And you had bronchitis? Ding! Pneumonia. Eh. Oh, sorry. Right, right, OK.

Yeah, so he's something that I wanted to put to you guys. I feel like he's encroaching on our use of the bell. I've never heard another podcast. I haven't listened to any podcast in the world. He might not know. I wondered whether we should write him a cease and desist letter with regards to the bell or we're just happy for him to use his bell.

I mean, we obviously didn't invent that type of bell. Otherwise we'll get heat from the hotel reception association. Yeah, particularly faulty towers. Yeah, anything in that era that uses the unattended bell. But I think, I think in terms of, of a that's enough, we kind of use it as, what are we, we sort of use it as like the end of the quarter, but instead of a siren, the siren seems, a siren seems too offensive, but it does, it does sort of

just seem like, yeah, we've had enough. We've had enough. We've had enough. We've had enough of this. And I think ours is clearer than his. Something people don't know is we used to have three bells. Me, Jack and Andy all had a bell. That's right. Season one, we had three bells and it was like, you know, setting up the

show, like here's your bell, everyone got their pens ready, yeah, got your bells. And then it just became that Jack and I weren't dinging it much. Andy, Andy, which is true for when we all go out for dinner and something like Andy's always the one to go, all right, well, that's finished. Andy's basically we just realized he's the first to get sick of anything. So we were never digging it and no one talked about it. We just lost our bell. Go on. That's true. That's true.

Quick temperature check for you guys on AI. Yeah. Seeing it creep in much or still largely untouched? I've seen a lot of it. I am seeing a lot of it. I am seeing a lot of it. I signed up to the Image Maker mid-journey. Is that where you ask it to make something and it doesn't? Yeah, it costs $8 a month and you ask it to make images and you run out quick, like the novelty wears off quick.

Yep. Well, now I'm locked into the contract. I'm trying to work out whether I should say this. No, I'll leave this. No, leave it. There was a couple of moments at the moment I'm using it. Are you? Yeah. But I- What for?

Like to do your work. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Oh, and- A hundred by AI. And I don't go to the studio anymore. Been there for ages. Yeah. So, but I was just this, just in my head seeing if I'm going to get in trouble and I think

I will. I'm glad I brought it up. How big a work are we talking? Like, are you calling Beck with it? No, no, no, no. Like it's not trouble at home. I have a, you know, you can risk getting trouble at home. Are you calling Beck with it? No, no, no, no. It's not trouble at home. You can risk getting trouble at home.

There's elements in life where you have to fill out forms and applications or presentations and so on. You're just getting it to do it. Just saying, do a presentation in this style. It feels the equivalent of when, and Jack, you're too young for this, but when Microsoft and Carta came out and you had to buy the CDs for the encyclopedia and you know, it's grade six or something and they're like, you have to do an assignment on mollusks. And you go, okay. And you go home and you put your CD in the CD drive and you type in mollusk and you copy and paste and print it out and you submit it.

And the teachers didn't have in Kali yet. Yeah. For those that sort of a glory year where you're ahead of them and they'll go, you know, okay, we're into a project on ancient Egypt. No worries. How's 30,000 words sound? Dump a whole ream of paper on their disk. Get back to me with any markups.

I don't think they'll be spelling mistakes. Like how, how are universities? I know. Well, that's a fun thing for you. Whatever you're doing, whatever you're cheating with with it, that's the fun thing. Cause uni kids, they're getting like penalised. No one's catching you because you, you know, you're operating sounds like in the wild west of whatever you're doing.

But how are they getting penalised? Because now AI is so hard to catch it. Plagiarism was easy. They could kind of go. You could just, yeah, you just scan for it. Well, here's the, it's funny we're talking about printers, like, cause I know once I, I'm looking forward to when AI gets into the machines. Now I know there's a risk that the fridges will like all, you know, unionize and kill us or something.

Like, you know, you can't make your appliances too too smart because they could just organize and then yeah, then we're dead. If, sorry, just on that, if we, if there was an appliance that did take over the world, which one do you want? As our overlord. As our overlord. Toaster, blender, fridge. You don't want. I don't think they can do that much. I guess the fridge could turn the temperature up and like make the milk go off and then we get sick. That's the way they get it.

That is a power. I'm not trying to be cooky here, but I think I could still take on most of my appliances and win. And I think we've still got them. But here's, here's why I would like to see a little bit more intelligence. Cause you do have conversations a little bit with your technologies as it stands. Like my printer, right?

The printer is the thing because it has a screen and it, the attitude of a printer is always it's telling you what's going on now. You know, I've disliked printers and I've been to the worst, never found one. I like mine. One at the moment tells you what's going on. Like, you know, I dislike printers and I've been to the worst, never found one I like. My one at the moment tells you what's going on. Like it will go, Oh no, I'm not online. And you'll go, well, you are. So, but it's so defiant. It kind of reminds me of like when my kids were like three years old, like it just says a fact. And like, that's, that's the fact.

The big one is, um, there's no paper. So you go to print and my printer just always goes, you know, there's no paper. And you go, you got a hundred sheets in you. I've just loaded you in. That's when I'm looking forward to AI. So you can talk to it to go, hey, idiot, what's this? Like if it has eyes or something, you can go, oh really? Like, look at this. And it will have to be humble and go, well, you're right, sir.

And then at night it'll tell the fridge to kill you. But it will still be, it would be nice to just humble the appliance, I think, a little bit. They just launched a AI robot that they've been teaching, which was absolutely scary, where the Frankenstein guy, the doctor, the scientist who had built it, went to touch it on its nose and it looked kind of like a robotic human, let's say. It went to touch it on its nose and it backed away. And it reached out and it reaches, the robot put its hand up and just brushed the man's hand away because it didn't want to be touched on the nose. Yeah, right.

So we found their weak spot, which is positive. That's good. Like sharks. So smart we left a little Achilles nose on them. We can get in there. I mean, it is funny, like, you know the whole argument is like the more we inject, like the more data it learns, the smarter it gets. This is where it really comes into what you define intelligence as, because I was thinking about this the other day too, where I'm like, we've got this, the models where like they're getting smarter and smarter because they're like learning more and more and more stuff.

Like chat GPT has read the whole internet and that makes it smarter. That's, I've got an argument that is not how human intelligence works because based on me trying to learn golf from YouTube, I have ingested everything there is to know. And I'm dumber. Like it's made me much worse. There's two, I've got too much in my head now and it all clunks into each other as it tries to form one thought. Like, so when I now go to take a golf swing, I have like a hundred things going on in my head. And it's like, I saw this, what's that YouTube? I remember that kid, that kid the kid did a trick shot he plays golf on a skateboard pretend I'm on a skateboard no I don't do that it doesn't he but that AI knows which one to choose because it does we we can't get smarter by their methods we can't get smarter by

learning more I just think there's a point where it just bottlenecks and you've got too much or human intelligence actually, maybe because they're, they're like, unbiased enough to read it all. Human intelligence, we're all suckers for this, where we go, like, if we were, if we were in a computer and someone gave us the prompt, like, tell me, like, I don't know what you're illegally doing, Ando, that you're getting away with. But if it was like, you know, write an excuse so I don't have to pay land tax. Whatever

you're using it for. I would then like read the first fact about land tax and go, God, I'm good at this. I know everything about this. And I wouldn't read the rest. Like that's human intelligence. We just get in the way. We give up. We give up. Why we know one thing and tell everyone at like at a dinner party. Yeah. I get the gist. ChatGBT, did you look at all the sources? Thinking, thinking, thinking.

Look, I'll be honest with you. I just got the gist. This is, this is pretty good. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at HamishandAndy.com.