Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 263 - ConCon is Coming

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

The emails have absolutely flooded in for ConCon, so the guys talk about the logistics around the big day. Paris 2024 is underway, and the boys have noticed a few humorous things going on with the gam...es. We hound the Mint with requests for a coin, and Jack's weaselly ways are put under scrutiny once again.  1. Con Con expressions of interest 2. Extreme empaths 3. Paris 2024 observations 4. Your emails to the Mint 5. Crows stealing golf balls 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me, Sid Hamish. Hello. Yes, we could be in a band, but Sid says good morning. Ahoy to me, Millie.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Jack. I know what we are, I reckon. One of the rare times Jack's come over the top of Hay. Good Jack. Are we from a comic strip? No, Andy's going to be Ollie. He's got to be. I can't remember who's who but we are mascots.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Mascots, yeah the Olympic mascots. The Sydney 2000 Olympic mascots. Sid Hamish the Platyphalus, of course named after Sydney. Millie the Echidna named after a millennium I think and Ollie named after the Olympics. Was Ollie just a torch? Kukaburra. That would have been really disappointing. You guys are going to be a platypus and a kid, and I'm just a torch that hangs around. It's been a torch. Stranger things have happened in the world of mascots for the games.
Starting point is 00:01:16 That's true. Ahoy also to Tara, who's in the Czech Republic, who used the very easy to use system, hamishnabby.com, to tell us what she's been up to. Sorry, Tara. Ahoy, boys. This is Tara from the Czech Republic just checking in. So I have to admit, the summer break of 2022, I believe it was,
Starting point is 00:01:39 I accidentally checked out a little bit too long for that break. And I've really just checked back in. Time got away from me but I've come back now and Hamish is playing golf which is shocking so I realise I have to go back to where I accidentally took my break too long so going in the past to go forward but I am ashamed of you. Why do you get to Jack Yeah, you'll really be shocked. That would be the strange flash forward, wouldn't it?
Starting point is 00:02:09 But I totally agree with once you're out of one podcast and it takes a break or it takes a little hiatus, you just get out of your system and you can not come back for years. We don't recommend that. There are podcasts sitting in my podcast app, and you go, objectively, the people that host these podcasts are heroes of mine. Yes. But I can't be bothered to go in. So much.
Starting point is 00:02:34 And actually, the more episodes they put out that you don't hear, you're like, wow, so much you can't chop off. Especially someone like me, I got no time to do that. I'm already trying to save as much time as I can being fast and loose. So I just want anyone to know if they are back in or they've dipped back in. No hard feelings from us. Oh, no, no time to do that. I'm already trying to save as much time as I can being fast. So I just want anyone to know if they are back in or they've dipped back in, no hard feelings from us.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Oh, none at all. And if you are here listening to this, we appreciate it. We hate the government mandated break, but one of its benefits is allowing people to catch up. Like, Replicarge in Mario Kart, where you've accidentally left the controller, a sticky controller and you smash against the wall for too long.
Starting point is 00:03:03 We allow people to get back in the game. You will go faster if you're behind a Mario game. And in even more modern iterations of the game for those that play it on Switch, I can see Radiomark just leaping at the window trying to get into the studio. Yeah, that's where that's been. I was talking about Nintendo. Of course, you know you can only get the good powers if you're lagging behind. Yes. You don't get dididdly shit if you're on France. You get a coin or a green shell if you're lucky. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:31 They, uh... Don't even bother going over them. Useless. Pick your driving line, I would say. Um, Haym, what a response to... Con Con. Con Con. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Now, I didn't, I haven't gone back and listened to what we said last week, so I know we were fishing in the... well, I was about to say fishing in the wind, which is a terrible way to fish. Fish in the water. You could get a bird. Although I think fishing in the water is meant to be better on windy days. Yes, it is. Don't fishermen get excited about windy days? Brings the fish to the surface.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Not that I've heard, but it would make sense because it's the ripples. We make so many big comments on this show that we don't check. The amount of retractions we have to do. We don't need to be just saying stuff like this. Next week all the emails will be like, what the hell do you think you're talking about? Well known that fish fear the windy surface and flee from the ripples. You're probably right. But it is exciting that when two weeks ago, Ham, you had a tax accountant on and played a game with Jack and I to see if we could come up with as many deductible things as possible.
Starting point is 00:04:36 The thing that kept coming back was if it was part of a convention. Yeah, conference. Is it a conference? Is it a conference? Yeah, you can deduct that. So we were like, well, to give a whole of Australia convention. Yeah, conference. Is it a conference? Is it a conference? Is it a conference? Yeah, you can deduct that. So we were like, well, to give a whole of Australia a chop out, we will put on conference conference, con con, which will allow a tax deductible, very informative couple of sessions
Starting point is 00:04:59 or however long we would talk about these people's individual businesses, with of course networking at the nearest golf course. Yes, there'll be networking opportunities galore, but that is part of a conference, everyone's favourite part of a conference, but there will also be the formal presentations. And I think where we knuckled down, and I think this is the critical bit, is as part of the ticketing process when we get round to that, we all know the profession that everyone has going into ConCon and we will make sure that
Starting point is 00:05:31 there's you know 30 seconds on your specific profession. Minimum. Minimum. Yeah, 30 plus seconds. Tax Department doesn't need to know. They never gonna ask. Like the ATO doesn't go, if you go, I went to a garbage waste conference, because I'm in waste management, they're not going to go, how long did they talk for? They just go, yeah, great, sweet, mate. Dick, hope you had a good time. Exactly how it happened. And that is a recording from a recent audit.
Starting point is 00:06:01 The lawyers here keep telling us to say to everybody, check with your own account. Yeah. The funny thing is we had, there is actually a legal team that works for Listener who run the podcast. They don't even know what they're scared of. They just know this feels scary. Yeah. It just feels a heck of a lot like three guys giving financial advice. So they're like, we're not even, you don't even know what the event is yet.
Starting point is 00:06:24 We don't even know how it works, but we just let it be known. We're scared. Say some things to cover us. God, that's the vibe I'm getting. Yeah. And we're not giving financial advice. No. Well done, Jack.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Exactly. Well done, Jack. Really turning around from the wind ocean stuff earlier on. Good to have that crisply on the transcript. Transcript. That'll come in handy. What we are finding is there is an immense amount of interest, which means we have to turn our direction to, or our interests,
Starting point is 00:06:52 into how will we put together a very concise learning moment for these different businesses. You mentioned sessions for Frando. That's a good, I think that's a good area to start. I don't think I've been to a conference. Sometimes we've, I guess we've spoken at them before. I don't think I've ever been as an attendee, but there are sessions. They're often like, there's the morning session.
Starting point is 00:07:15 I'm just vibing this out, but I think two half hour sessions separated by a 20 minute refreshment and networking break. That's a pretty good conference. Yeah, that's a great conference. You don't want to eat up the whole day. No, no, no. And cut out all the networking. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Imagine how devastated you'd be if you come back from the conference and there was no time for networking. So one day conference, two sessions. There'll be sort of, yeah, like a late afternoon and an early evening session. Generous networking opportunities in the morning. Yes. And yet I think that's loosely the gist. And then we will do that.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Content wise. We'll be doing the presentations for you. Some people I think, yeah, some people I think thought that they would have to speak. Speak. No, no, no. You tell us what your industry is. We'll educate you. Yes. TaylorMade conference. Not to be confused with TaylorMade, the Golf Brand, although I'm sure Jack will try and
Starting point is 00:08:07 work that in somehow. Haim, just to reel off a few people that have shown interest, because there has been, I think we're in close to hundreds, aren't we? I think 700. Oh, 700, okay. Would we be able to talk on marine science and biotechnology? Yes. I thought we would.
Starting point is 00:08:26 That would please Matt Cherry. He said, Khan boys, all you need to do is make sure this is near an ocean and the tax man will have zero issues. And we've already warmed up with the fish and the wind stuff. That's right. What is that about marine science? That's true. We will correct that maybe on the day.
Starting point is 00:08:43 So if you are in marine science or biotechnology, come along. He's in seaweed aquaculture. We'd cover that off. We'd be thrilled to. Just in terms of people, you know, some people are more concerned about showing evidence to the old tax man than others. I've had a couple on my side of the fence going, I know, I certainly know if I could present or if I, you know, I'm allowed to go to conferences from my work if I'm, they'll fly me there if I'm presenting. Great.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Oh, but not as a participant. I had two or three of those. But look, we're not going to do that. But if there are people that want extra evidence for the tax man, yes, would we incorporate a section of the conference where we line sort of 10 people up in the wings, right? And you can come out very, very fast, one at a time, pose at the podium, pose at the lectern. And when you get a photo, a bit of photo evidence, that's good. That makes it look like you presented at the conference.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And you can go back with that in your hand. Walk out and say, I've presented. Yeah. Or like, thanks for coming. One fact. Yeah. Because then it's not even deceitful. They did present something about the industry.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yep. Well, we could have people saying stuff like, you know, the refreshment break starts now, whatever. And so they have presented a fact at the conference. And they've got the photo. Taxman comes knocking. Did you really present that conference? What do you call this photo? Absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Congrats on the TD. Can we then set up on our website a performer where people can fill in their own and we say, hi, fill in your own name, Daryl. We would love you to present at this conference. I see it as only 10 people, you know, I would say the vast majority of the crowd is there to absorb facts, but if you have to show that you are on stage, then we could have a few openings for people to give some facts out to present. Great, and then they can print that out and send it to themselves and show their boss that they needed their...
Starting point is 00:10:45 They've been invited. Yeah, they've been invited. Just you know you said some people more worried about the tax department than others. Yeah, who have you got? Josh isn't. He says he works... his industry is the Australian Taxation Office. Ha ha ha! Mate! He said, surely an ATO man such as myself can write off a convention on tax. I'm new to the ATO, but I'm willing to test this.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So definitely, because then if they bring, try to bring us down, they have to bring themselves down. And what are your boys doing there? Exactly. This feels like an ancient France when you like marry the daughter of Spain, like to form the alliance. It's like alliances. We all give a complimentary ticket to a tax office person, just so there can be no sniffing around.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah. Well, that'd be, well, we can then be in a choose a bribery. It'd be good if Josh just bought his own way there. I was joking. Yeah. And then he's got to... You don't say the B word. Yeah. No. I was joking. He buys his own way there and it's above board. Yep. Would we do a presentation on, someone just said if you do morals and ethics,
Starting point is 00:11:47 that covers a lot of industry. That's a good one. So I reckon we could just pop, we do 30 seconds on morals and ethics. Yep. Danielle, she's a paramedic. We do that stuff, wouldn't we? Oh, yeah, definitely. My brother's a paramedic, so I can. There we go. Jack, that's on you. Leave that one with me. Thank you, Jack. So just do...
Starting point is 00:12:07 What a conference. What a conference. So what we'll do then, we will divide... What a TED Talk. I want to talk to you guys about what's called the golden hour in life saving. Now, I'm not a paramedic, but my brother is, and he actually was talking about this at Christmas. It was so interesting.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Here's what I remember from that conversation. So I get this straight. We will have people register. And obviously they have to get them, because very clearly you're getting yourself to the convention. It's a regular convention. You have to pay to get there.
Starting point is 00:12:41 I think we're gonna balance the- We'll have some kind of pack for you because that's what happens with a convention. You'll have a lanyard. Lanyard, USB stick, all the good stuff. So they're paying airfares and then a ticket. We'll have someone sign a ticket price for the convention? Yes, that would be because we're going to hire the convention centre. So like every other convention, we'll set that up, but you have to get yourselves there. Um, I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:13:06 I mean, are they doing their own accommodation? We'll work that out. Yeah. Oh, is it a package you think? Oh, I mean, I don't know. I mean, do we really, that sounds like admin. It's trying into my least favourite part of this stuff. Admin.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I'll do merch. You do admin, but so I think the best way to do that people register, right? You go, I would like to register for con con. Yeah. Then, but then we need to give them, well, the con con con con con con confirmation. So you get, so you're not going to, you have con con con, which is con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con con through admin whether we're going to do con con or con con. Con con or con? Which is... Con... Or if it'll be con con...con con...con con comp to comp.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh! Like if we're comping it. Comping anyone, yes. There'll be a bit of...we'll work out that. But for clarity... Did you say were you part of the con con comp to con package? Or are you just con con a con don? And did you want con con con dons in the room? Are you here, how seriously are you taking the networking?
Starting point is 00:14:16 We will, but just to be really clear for us, once everybody has registered and we'll have a cut off amount because we'll only be having people we can fit this certain wherever we choose. We will then divvy up all the industries that we have to cover and then we'll split them between the three of us. Yep. That's how it will work. And there'll be 30 plus seconds per industry.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Session one, break. Session two, boom. Covered, tax deduction, secured. Of course, check with your financial advisor. But from our angle, remember things can have many angles, but from the angle I'm looking at that, that seems suido burrito to me. Pam, we had no idea of a rich vein of people that we're going to be kind of tapping into when it comes to extreme empaths. We talked about my girlfriend being extremely empathetic when it comes to people, which is probably nice, when it comes to object, which gets a little bit annoying to be honest.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Assigning human traits to objects. I think the one that I brought up was that she asked me to go into the study to check whether her old laptop had finished transferring the information to her new laptop because she felt sorry for the old one having to teach the new one all the new tricks. Couldn't go and look it in the face. I'm so sorry I replaced you. Look Ando, there are so many extreme empaths out there and we're the place to hear them.
Starting point is 00:15:46 We'll be, I mean, are we empaths for them understanding what it's like? We're more of a repository. I'd love to be able to claim any kind of empathy from my side of the fence as the Tin Man, as my sister called me. But yes, I don't think I'm quite in that category, but I do love hearing about them. They're out there. It has been a flood.
Starting point is 00:16:06 What have you got? I'm kicking it off with Sarah here. I like to water household plants with lukewarm water. I don't want them to feel too cold. Oh my god, it's probably not good for them. I think actually plants like cold water. I've watched something recently that said put ice blocks in. Yeah, they grow up outside where it's all cold.
Starting point is 00:16:27 They're not having showers. They're drinking. This is great. This is from Cassie. Can relate to Beck's struggles. Whenever my partner separates a bunch of bananas at the supermarket and leaves one its own, I always go and get it to match it up so it doesn't lose its friends. Like, oh, we've got four, no, we only need three. No, no, no, you're coming with us. Or she writes, or I go and put it with another solo banana. Foster it out to another banana family. This is what I love about all this stuff,
Starting point is 00:17:03 just going, no, no, no, these things have feelings. I assume no problems later when you tear its skin off and eat it alive. No one bothering there. Preparing the pavlova. Oh, and did you eat it alive in front of its friends? Yes, I did. But at least it wasn't lonely. This one from Jordan, Extreme Empath.
Starting point is 00:17:24 He says, my wife falls under this category. She doesn't like to use textures because she thinks you'll hurt their little noses. Now when I delete a texture, I look at it and think I am using its nose. Squashing, jamming its face into the page just so we could make a shot at this. Its own mucus coming out and hopefully the nicest colour available. I mean, there's so many here. Here's another one. Okay. This comes in from Darren because he's an extreme empath.
Starting point is 00:17:57 He says, I find when I pull commonly used dishes from the dishwasher and then I use them immediately, like I've got a few of those bowls where I'm like, you're perfect for, you know, yogurt. I use them immediately. There are a few that never seem to get a rest. So like your favorite dishes. Because I always hear them in my mind saying, oh man, give me a break. I just got clean.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Can't I have a bit of downtime? But equally, you could feel sorry for the plates that never get you. Because if you're on the bottom of the staff, Coach, give me a bone. You have the end your rotation unless you have a big family dinner. It's true, Jack. It's true. It's the Greyhound racing argument. Do they love to run? Do they want to race? Are you stopping them from doing what they were born to do? One version is stop loss in a military sense where we don't have enough servicemen so you have to stay on. We're not letting you retire.
Starting point is 00:18:44 But the other one is coach let me in the game. Love it. It's from Tony. I once said sorry to my car for parking on a steep hill overnight. As in the relief you took the park break off in the morning. Where have you been? Thought you were coming back early. There's been a bunch too, yeah, I mean, there's a bunch too on Instagram too. This is from Miller.
Starting point is 00:19:16 My husband was getting a knee replacement and I cried because I felt sorry for the knee being taken out. Yeah, that's no good. Andy Hoskins, I'll throw this one more at you, from New Zealand, ahoy to you. My mother is one of the biggest empaths. She knits teddies to donate to children's hospitals, which is lovely. I don't think that tips into crazy yet. She makes many and sends them always a big bunch, but when she finishes one, she feels bad for it, so she knits them a bed and a blanket to keep them warm until they're sent off. That is lovely. I got one to juxtapose that with. This is right in the zone. Lisa. She goes,
Starting point is 00:19:59 when I'm filling up the photocopy of paper drawer at work and it's not empty, so there might be like 10 sheets left. I pull the paper out that's in there. I add in the new paper, then I place the existing old paper on top. It's not fair that they have to wait another 500 sheets to get there go. It's like a water slide. Just have someone cut in 500 of them corporate event cut in front of me. Hey, Olympics, obviously on at the moment.
Starting point is 00:20:36 We are not the host broadcast here at this particular place we work at, Lysner. That is a relief to hear because if we were, I just get the feeling I've missed a heck of a lot of shifts. I haven't been in a week and I haven't commentated a damn thing. But we are part of the host network. I'm working on the Olympics. So in my capacity as for promotion for the Olympics, we can certainly talk about it.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Of course we must. We must. First up, let's go back to the opening ceremony. Eddie Ockenton, who is the flag bearer, hockey player, flag bearer. Co flag bearer with Jess. Co flag bearer with Jess, Jess Fox. I'm obviously very into my hockey. He's been, I think he's 37 and he's still playing in the hockey team.
Starting point is 00:21:33 But I sent him a note to say congrats. But also I said flag bearer, I know he listens to the show. Flag bearer equals lost touch with the common man. He wrote back, yes, good point. But flag bearer equals potential line to Jim Charmers. So, well, I point, but flag power equals potential line to Jim Charmers. Well, I mean obviously Is Jim there? Well, I'd there'd be there'd be even if he's not there, there'd be representatives of the Australian government there
Starting point is 00:21:54 and what I loved is just on the eve of the most important tournament that they have the He's got his priorities straight. He's got his priorities straight. I said, don't spend all your time trying to track down Jim. Go to the games. I tell you what, Jess Fox is another great avenue because now is a gold medal winner. Yes. So not only is she co-flag bearer, she can go, if there is some sort of reception when they get home, all the big wigs from the government are there. No doubt she'll have the gold medal on.
Starting point is 00:22:22 And then Jim will go, gee, look at that. And she'll go, I'll tell you, speaking of gold round things that inspire a nation, could I float this past you? Yes. That's great. I noticed that you, because Hamish was doing kayak training for a while for the Coast to Coast for New Zealand. Oh yeah, Jess was kind enough to coach me for one afternoon last year at the Penrith Whitewater Stadium where I had to get certified in kayaking because there's no casual people just out at the Whitewater Stadium from 24 years ago. So there's literally a guy who's never been in a
Starting point is 00:23:02 kayak before me because there's 21 rapids or something as it goes around goes around like a spiral. I'm at the end on the last rapid like trying to learn how you stay afloat in fast moving water. So you got one guy right like day one of kayaking and then the only other people there are Olympians who were just like getting ready for the game. So there was a real mismatch of talent that day out on the water, but she was a legend. Well, you look like a little league guy that's getting at halftime allowed to go out there and try. It looks like she said a T. How would you like a photo with the helmet on? Really? Thank you. We've got to see Australia sing the national anthem
Starting point is 00:23:40 a lot, which I love about the Olympics, you get a little patriotic. We are one and free, that new line that we have, which is great. It made me think they would have been wrapped when they came up with that. Because it fits, it's such a perfect swap out. Yeah. Rather than, I think the other idea was to add bloody in there. We are bloody free. Bloody free. I just want to know what the process was and whether they did go to Rhyme Zone, which you
Starting point is 00:24:09 and I have. Rhymezone.com, when we're trying to think of a parody song at last minute, you're like, okay, Jesus. That is a website from 998 that has never been updated. It's just like all text. Exactly. And hyperlinks. Okay, it's a special skill where a guy can eat cheese crackers really quickly, so we're
Starting point is 00:24:26 like Rhyme, Rhyme and Cracker. What rhymes with? Stacker. Hammondare. Hammondare. Exactly. I just wondered whether at Advanced Australia Fair offices, did someone just crack his knuckles and go, okay, Rhyme's own Young.
Starting point is 00:24:44 One? Ooh, yeah. Yeah, one. We are fun and free. That's what they may have thought about. Fun and free would be good. Yeah, it would be good. No country, I reckon, has fun in their nationality. Which is a shame. That's a missed opportunity. Everyone's got like, you know, patriotism. Like half of them are about wars and like never giving in and like, you know, the American one. Why not be fun? I think Bhutan would have happy because isn't there that thing that they're
Starting point is 00:25:14 like the happiest nation on earth? They would have. I'm still not sure if they're putting happy in. Spain don't have any lyrics. Just, you know, I didn't even deep dive because I was going to bring to the show my rankings of the top national anthems. Turns out a lot of them are really boring, but Spain, no lyrics, which surprised me. I go to pub trivia occasionally on a Monday night and I was watching the medal ceremony for something, synchronized 10 meter diving. China had won. Chinese national anthem
Starting point is 00:25:38 pops up and I go, right, for countries large and as powerful with as much global influence as China, I would never have known this was their anthem. Yeah. You know what I much global influence as China, I would never have known this was their anthem. You know what I mean? I was like, this would be a good trivia question. You start an anthem and go, right, we've all watched the Olympics, whose is this? Can we agree that the French is the best? French, I reckon French, US and Great Britain are the only ones I really know besides the
Starting point is 00:26:02 Australian one. But Great Britain's not great. No, no, no, I'm not saying it's a top tenor, but I just wouldn't be able to recognise Britain are the only ones I really know besides the Australian one. Great Britain's not great. No, no, no, I was saying it's a top tenner, but I just wouldn't be able to recognise if I'm playing that trivia game, I don't think I'd get, you know, of the other 194 countries, I don't think I'm getting very many. If Mando's listening, who's the quiz master? I'm just saying Mando. Like if you're thinking about next Monday night, I think that would be an interesting, well I know we normally do a music round in round three and it's like on a pretty standard format,
Starting point is 00:26:27 but maybe for the Olympics we could do a new music round. Quickly on the diving. Yep. You know how they dry off? There's a lot of like after you dive, you have the mini towel. Yeah, tiny towel. You know, there's like mini camping towel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:38 But then there's a lot of like you dry off, then you get in the spa, then you dry off again. Yeah. It's very confusing whether they want to be wet or dry during the diving. And also, why not? Like, come on, it's the Olympics. Bring a bath sheet. We're not allowed to use those at home because they take up too much of the washing machine. But like, treat yourselves. It's the bloody Olympics. Bring a giant towel. That's true. But that's not the most confusing thing about the diving. Mark Tubby Taylor commentating the diving was I reckon the most confusing. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Night one. Night one. Him just going, oh geez, bloody no, splash should be happy with that. He was commentating it like- I really don't know. He was Australian cricket test captain from a decade or so ago. Yep. And often this is back, they just had Stump Cam had just come in
Starting point is 00:27:29 for the cricket, so you could often, you just could hear what the players were saying on the field. And he was often, well, criticized by the team or derided by the team because he would only talk in diving analysis. And the other, you know, Ian Healy behind the stumps, he'd be like, we don't understand, mate. And he'd be like, guys, we need to tighten this over up like a pike. All right. Like a pike. Get your head to your knees like a pike.
Starting point is 00:27:50 And he'd go, but Dabby, we don't understand, mate. Not everyone gets diving the way you do. So finally he got his calling. Which is lovely. After 20, 30 years of pestering, gentlemen, get me at the diving. I think you'll be impressed by what I can do. I thought I'd be surprised when he was selling us air conditioners. It's like, oh, wow, like that's something I didn't expect him to be doing.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Diving was the next level for that. Final one hand, Ian Thorpe commentating the swimming. He said you had something for us here. I have something for you guys here. This just reminds me of when at school, you came across a fad and someone else in your group goes, hey, I saw this fad and you're arguing that you saw it first. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:36 My uncle went to Japan to use it. I already got a Pokemon. Yeah, that kind of thing, yes. I think Thorpey had a little bit of that as he was describing. There's a guy called Petey from Great Britain He's a breaststroke champion This is just him and I'm not sure the other commentator, but you'll pick up what I'm talking about
Starting point is 00:28:54 He is absolutely the greatest sprint breaststroker the world has seen and for him to come back From adversity and line up here in lane four. He's a wonderful achievement They're calling it the three Petey, Thorpey. I told you that. Don't pretend I did not tell you that. That's what they're saying in Britain. It's a three-peaty if he can win it. I've been saying that a little bit longer than that. I've been saying it a little bit longer than that. What, then Britain's existed? I've been saying it since Roman times. You know that.
Starting point is 00:29:32 I've been saying it since... I've been saying it a bit longer than Britain has. That is great. Yeah. That actually just... Who's the other commentator? I'm not sure. I should know because he's very famous.
Starting point is 00:29:46 He's been doing a good job. But he was doing a great job of trying to- And just brush over it and move on to the next thing. I think, because he's obviously like, you know, he's obviously like called many sports. And before you go on, you know, there'd be some level of performance anxiety too. Especially as Thorpey, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:00 you're not trained as a commentator. You'd be like, I've got my list of things I'm gonna say. Yes. And he's probably, I've got my list of things I'm going to say. Yes. And he's probably before they've gone on, gone. Oh, I'll it's actually been saying the three PD. Like that's the thing that's been coming up. The other guy's just gone. Do you reckon, do you reckon that's all be doing? Tell him.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Do you reckon, do you reckon that's all be going, come on, mate. I've said that off air. That's the one bit. That's my one bit of homework. I was getting to. That's the bit I was getting to. That's the bit I was getting to. I've got nothing else written and you've commented and shucked it. Then I think the defence then of the league commentator would be,
Starting point is 00:30:33 there was a gap and he didn't fill it. I'm with him. I'm with him. And this is our last opportunity because it's semi-final. We can't say it after the final. He's either done or he hasn't done it. And he also completely, in that situation on air when someone's going, hey, I told you that, he's done, this is seasoned professional going, well, they're saying it in Britain.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Yeah, he didn't have to defend his own patch. Everyone's throwing it around. So, to get someone going, well, I've been saying it a lot longer than, and I invented forpito too. Haim, I mean, we've talked about this a lot. We expected it to potentially be a peter out. We've actually gave ourselves a license to not mention it for two years because we know it's a long process, but it keeps knocking at the door and asking to come back in. So it's to do with the mint. And obviously we suggested that not us personally be put on a coin, but the show
Starting point is 00:31:34 as a great ambassador for dollar coins be recognized on Australian currency as a novelty coin, tickly because of some of the junk that the mint throw out there. I think they're them commemorative coins. Commemorative coins. Novelty. Novelty, yeah. Not a fart machine. They don't have it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Kiss the cook. A whole bunch of novelty coins. But yes, taking it of course, we know it's essentially a note from the king of the promise to pay $1. So we know it's a serious business currency, but we would like to be on a commemorative coin if that's not too much trouble. Early strategies was just targeting where Jim Chalmers, the Australian treasurer, may have a haircut and trying to get in touch with his hairdressers. Because it's his call, it's JC's call.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Sorry, just I know we've got a different top up here, but did get a note from an alert listener and an operative, Georgie. Now I know again, this, this, this, I don't remember us having a meeting saying our whole goal here is to just, yeah, target the goods and services that Jim Chalmers, the treasured users, but that just seems to be the strategy. Yeah. Yeah. She is his florist. Oh, good. So she says, I've got a, just thought you'd be pleased to know I'm Jim Chalmers' florist, attaches a picture. He's picking up a gorgeous bunch there. Looks like possibly could be for his wife or something.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yep. In fact, he's got two bunches. Wow. So she photographed him while I was just buying flowers. She's chatting to him. It's actually a photo of her chatting to him. So it was probably from another staff member. He's chatting to him. It's actually a photo of her chatting to him. So it was probably from another staff member. He's having a laugh. He's entertaining everyone.
Starting point is 00:33:08 She goes, I had an extensive and very persuasive conversation. Does he look like he's had a fresh haircut? With him re the coin. Does actually look like he's got a short haircut. Jim's having a day out. He's gone from a haircut to pick up flowers for the house. We've got him flanked. We've got him flanked. Unfortunately, he then says,
Starting point is 00:33:26 I can't say it's looking good. Unfortunately. What, which doesn't, that's not the story the picture tells. To me, that's a treasurer with two bunches of flowers at the top of his game, who's about to grant us a coin. Now I might be misreading the picture.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Is she going to more detail or? She said she'd keep us updated if she's got any further sighting. So she doesn't say why it's not looking good, but you're reading between the lines. I don't think it's a definite no, because I can't imagine him having that smile if it was a no. Yes, that's fair. I think it's just he probably highlighted some of the hurdles.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Maybe what we've got to say to George is like, hey, mate, we love hurdles. We love them. We don't go like I go over them. We just like kicking them over or at least running around if there's a spare spot in the lane alongside. Well it's been two weeks since we brought up on this show that the CEO of the Mint was asked during one of his press conferences from a journalist to comment on us potentially getting a commemorative coin. He then encouraged everybody that has an idea for a commemorative coin to hit up the Australian Mint's website and email
Starting point is 00:34:29 in. Boy did they get a lot of emails. They've been coming in thick and fast to us, people forwarding what they forwarded to the Mint. Yeah great. Does the Mint respond or is it auto-respond? It looks a bit automatic, the response. But so some of them have been so great, the way that these emails have gone into the Mint, they've been creative. It also didn't feel like a template. You know when some people have bots do it
Starting point is 00:34:55 and it looks like a template. Everybody has taken their own. We're old school, man. Their own tact when it's come to telling the Mint why this is the right thing to do. And so we've just managed to grab a bunch of them, stick them all together and get a vibe of the emails heading into the Mint.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Dear Royal Australian Mint. To whom it may concern. Hey Royal Australian Mint. It is with great gusto that I write to express what I believe to be the will of the people. I speak on behalf of the people of Australia. I represent 8.9 million Australians. I must insist on the Hamish and Andy coin being released into circulation at the earliest convenience.
Starting point is 00:35:33 The Hamish and Andy podcast coin would be an exciting contribution to the economy. But too long have lesser coins been minted. I'm sure you've had a lot of requests for a Hamish and Andy one dollar coin, but I just wanted to add another voice to that idea. They champion the one dollar coin and really push the cash is king rhetoric Without them, I think you might be out of a job This wise choice could be the single factor that allows the Australian dollar to again compete with global currencies
Starting point is 00:36:00 And quietly a bit more interesting than the the Ice Bovo coin released in 2019. A Hamish and Andy coin would be pretty dope, no? Bite the bullet and break the ice with haste, your loyal subjects are waiting. We all want the Hamish and Andy podcast on a coin. I await your confirmation of this. Cheers, a concerned citizen. Very important, do not mention Mr. Ralph on this coin. Otherwise we would not be able to put them in circulation.
Starting point is 00:36:30 So there you go. My favourite, there's many good strategies in there. I love, I must insist this is done at your earliest convenience. Here's nothing, nothing I like more than someone just deciding to turn the tables of power. I'm afraid I insist. The only thing that was missing from any of them is the angle where you go. Assuming that this is good, I'll only hear from you if there's concerns to the contrary. Look forward to seeing it in production.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Off the back of this, Jack, here's a bit of a bombshell. We missed a call from the Mint yesterday. You can only again? Who knows what a missed call means? But Carly got the call. It's from the Mint number because she'd been calling the Mint. 1-800-MINT-MINT-MINT. That's a long enough. They didn't leave a message. So it looks like an in-house number, not one three mint. Yeah. That's brilliant. That's right.
Starting point is 00:37:30 The call was coming from inside the mint. What a thriller. So, and do we try and call them back? Well, no, I think we've, now we play hard to get. We've, we've obviously been going too hard and maybe come across as keynotes. Give us a note as well. We want a tenner. I reckon, and I can't, oh yeah, we'll go, but I honestly can't see it being anything
Starting point is 00:37:54 other than them calling to say we're firing up the machine. Yeah, maybe. At risk of, you know, we have to be very careful about talking about golf content. Oh yeah. But I, you know, it has to be, it has to have a general appeal. And I think this does have a general appeal, but I caught up the other day with preferred magician of the show, Magic Mike. Yes. People might remember magician Mike from the mishap with Jack's jumper. Mike left his jumper with Jack rather than sending it back. Jack, unfortunately, realized he enjoyed wearing it and contacted the makers of
Starting point is 00:38:38 the jumper to say, we've run into a problem here. Mike wants the jumper back, but I love it. Could you send me one? In fact, could you send, maybe you just send Mike a new one and I keep this one. Yes. And then then on this show went actually it's a little snug. Could the company please send me one? So just started to use it as his own personal PA system. And that's and that's that's all fine.
Starting point is 00:39:01 That's we know and love Jack for the Weaseling and that's all good. I was playing with Magic Mike, right? We're out on the course. A guy comes out of the bushes. Okay. Guy comes up, there's a rustling. First I heard a rustling, I was like, something's going on in there. Just quite quick one, Ham. Golf is a game where people cheat. I obviously don't, but people do. It is a shame because it's self-governed. Playing with a magician, are there ways do you think that his skills would allow him to cheat more? He's an honourable magician. He is an honourable magician and he uses his skills for good. Like there's a ball in the hole. Oh another ball in the hole.
Starting point is 00:39:49 How did that happen? No, there's no Kim Jong-un-ing. He'll only use his skills to wow and amaze those in the clubhouse. He finds decks of cards behind their ears and then... So he hangs his skills up in the locker room before hanging out. He plays as a mortal. He plays as a mortal. He goes, that's good, as he should. As you would want. As you would want. And I'm sure that's the problem that demigods and things have too, that do have powers like,
Starting point is 00:40:14 hey, today I'm just like you guys. Superman. You'd go, hey mate, can you pull back on your ride? And hey, I'm Clark Kent. I'm just a regular guy. I'd like to experience the world as you do. Boy, does he do a good job of playing as a mortal. Sometimes, even though you could use magic to get a hole in one, sometimes having up to eight or nine shots per hole, just to make the rest of us feel so mortal. And that encourages me to play extra mortal.
Starting point is 00:40:43 It's just a couple of flawed humans spending an hour on one hole, going back and forth over the screen trying to get the ball in. Anyway, so we're on this particular hole, we hear a rustling, guy comes out of the bushes, right, with a giant camera, like a giant telephoto lens. And I'm like, oh, this is, well, I was like, this, this is not unlike what a Paparazzi set up, right? But he's like talking to me, usually Paparazzi are just, you know, pests that are miles away. You don't, you don't know where they are. So he's, so then I'm like, maybe he's, maybe there's someone famous on the
Starting point is 00:41:16 course, cause he's like, he comes and he's like, sorry guys, one second. And he's walking over to his like a little bit out of conversational distance. So I'm like, maybe there's, I don't know, like maybe Trump's playing here or something. Like there's like, there's someone of note on the course and he's looking for a tip. Not that we would reveal that. Um, but he's, he's coming over and he goes, Hey, just a quick question guys. Because do, um, do crows ever steal the ball? Like the birds, because they have a swoop down and steal the ball.
Starting point is 00:41:48 And I went, yes, yep, occasionally that can happen. I've seen it happen. Pretty rare. And he goes, do they really? I go, yeah, right. And we're on the tee box, which for non-golfers, that's the bit where you begin from and you hit the ball from. So I go, not very often here,
Starting point is 00:42:05 like here at the tee box. So usually there's a human standing next to the ball and about to hit the ball with a big club. More a crow would go for an unguarded ball, like towards the other end of the hole. And he goes, oh, wow. So they really, and I was like, is this guy, is this a windup? My first thought was you two. I was like, what's going on here? Because this is like, maybe Jack and Andy have set this guy up. And he goes, and he goes, and they really, they grab it and they fly off with it. Yeah, well, it can happen. He goes, that's what I'm trying to get a photo of.
Starting point is 00:42:35 That's my dream shot. That's his dream. That's my dream shot. And I was like, is that what you're out here for? He goes, I've been trying. I've been trying, but I just didn't know if they really did it. Well, they do, but I've got to be honest with you, mate. You know, and I didn't tell him this, I didn't want to break his heart, but I had actually
Starting point is 00:42:57 that morning seen a picture, a photo on Instagram of a squirrel on an eagle flying on the back of an eagle. I was like, mate, that's what you're up against. Instagram of a squirrel on an eagle flying on the back of an eagle. Like, that's what you're up against. Just so you know, in the world of making photos, you are up against a squirrel on the back of an eagle. So I don't know if a regular old crow with a golf ball. I don't want to shit on anyone's dreams.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Like, dream the way. Dream big. But it ain't the greatest. It's not like it's not like getting, you know, like a whale jumping over a dolphin or something. No, no, no. This is a very achievable dream. Anyway, we went on and that's when I did want to talk, that's when I asked Mike, I actually remembered about the weaseling incident, Jack. I said, by the way, where are we at with that? The jacket, yeah. And Mike told me that it all seems to be well in the world. Like that company has sent him the new jumper.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yeah, it did work. And they sent me and they upgraded mine from a large to an extra large. Right. And so then you sent Mike's large to him. No, that large... Because Mike now has a new set of... Yeah, but that's his jumper. Yeah, but why would I have to then go, like, he's got a jumper, so the math still works out at the end of the day, he's got a jumper. But now you have two, and one of them is owned by him.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Yeah, but he's got the exact same, I saw he took a photo of it, he's got the exact same jumper just new as, so why would I have to go to the post office, put it in the postbox? Because it's not yours, I suppose. No, really, he's got this, he's got literally something better. Okay, so you have an extra large jumper that those guys sent you, that's yours. Yep. And you also have a large jumper at your house. Who owns that? That is, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:44:52 That is Mike's. Jump. But this is why I like this in unusual like wrinkle in the system. You don't usually make a third jump out of nothing, but we have. Yes. So regular rules don't really apply. You're not being mortals. You are being magicians. You've made a third jumper when before there was two. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at HamishandAndy.com

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