Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 267 - We Caught a Live Weasel

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

Jack's been caught out weaselling again in what can only be described as the biggest weasel trap ever set on the show. Andy's looking a little too happy, so we bring on some listeners to upset him. A extended voice mail from a friend leaves Andy in a sticky (or stinky) situation, and ConCon's location is finally revealed. 1. Jack’s hoarding more jackets 2. Upset Andy 3. Andy leaves an embarrassing voice mail 4. ConCon location reveal 

A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to me quirts. Quirts. I am a precious rock. Sometimes you used to tell the time. No, not quartz.

Quirts. I just thought you'd pronounce it. With a Z, yes. Ahoy to me dvorak. Ahoy. Jaco. Are we dragons again? No, I'm a Zertie.

Are we hay fever medication? We're not the most popular one. The most popular one is QWERTY. Oh, we're keyboard formats. We're different, yes. Who doesn't do QWERTY? Central and Southeast Europe don't do QWERTY. They switch the Z and the Y.

A Zertie is France and Belgium. Cool. And then Dvorak was a layout painted in 1936 from August Dvorak. He claimed it was faster and more economical than the QWERTY clayboard, and it required less finger motion, but was a failure. Do you know what?

We hang a lot of shit on Mike for making this, but. I feel like that was a good one. Well done Mike. Because that's the level. That's the level. The level is like oh we... Mike just wiped his brow. 25 hours of work. Hundreds of prelim rounds. Just whittling him down what one will make it to air. Ahoy also to Caleb in Canada. who used the very easy to use system, hamishnady.com to tell us what he's up to. Poor thing. Ahoy boys, this is Caleb, a Canadian currently living in Seattle. I love the concept of ConCon as an opportunity to both sharpen and broaden my skills.

I hope you will consider including those of us who live overseas by live streaming the event It occurred to me that a conference with substantial live stream audience might be less likely to be falsely accused of facilitating tax evasion Gusto to my brother Isaac for introducing me to your fine podcast during your most recent mandated break You have my respect for continuing your important work under such oppressive government policies. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And gusto to all of you. Don't appreciate the evasion word used.

But I think the fact that he said falsely accused, that would be so false. Yes. So false. An absolute whopper of a false accusation. We will later on in the show reveal where Con Con will be. We have the location. But Haim, you wanted the start of today's show. Now gents, I actually wanted to talk about something that I thought we'd put to bed. I thought we'd sort of combed over this.

And asked for the top of the show for this. Combed over this and we were like, okay, I think we've done it. Some more information has come to light. Well, more of just there is still a loose end. And I know we usually do loose ends at the end of the year, but I was like, let's, let's see if we can do something here. Jack. We all remember the quarter zip golf jumper debacle. Okay. Yes.

Where Magic Mike lent his jumper to you. No, he just left it behind. I played golf with him. He left it behind. He started, you started wearing it. You liked No, he just left it behind. I played golf with him. That's right. He left it behind. He started. You started wearing it. You liked it. I liked it. He asked for it back. Some six weeks went by.

You didn't return it because you liked it. You found out he got it for free from this golf brand. You emailed them and said, here's we've got a problem. I really like it. He wants it back. Why don't you send him a new jumper? I keep this one. In fact, can I actually have a size bigger?

That's all correct. So that left. Then you got sent the size bigger, I keep this one. In fact, can I actually have a size bigger? That's all correct. So that left. Then you got sent the size bigger, but still kept Mike's. You still had Mike's. Yes, but he, but also he got a new one plus more. Yeah. Okay. What do you mean plus more?

Well, they sent him more like, so they sent him the same jumper and then they sent him, I think pants and a shirt. Oh, right. So I didn't know this bit, so out of jealousy, you were like, well, you don't need your old jumper then. If you've now got access to pants, I'm not giving you your old jumper back. As we discussed, for some reason, after all the dust settled, due to I believe the term was a wrinkle in the system, you decided that ownership of the initial jumper just stayed with you.

So, first question, has that jumper been returned? No, it hasn't. Okay, I know it hasn't because Mike went down to Melbourne, he's Sydney based, goes down to Melbourne and played golf with you about a week ago. Yeah, perfect opportunity to hear about this. He goes to me, I'm not going to say anything about the jumper. Well, that was going to be my number one argument. He didn't say anything about it. It's his jumper.

Yeah, but he didn't say a hoot about it. OK, Mike goes to me, I'm not going to say anything about the jumper. I'll see if Jack brings it to the course. OK. Mike also, you may have noticed, deliberately went in a t-shirt. I didn't notice that.

How am I to know that that is a signal that he's cold? I'm texting him going, how's it going? He goes, hasn't he? Was it a cold day? Yeah. And Mike goes, I'm genuinely chilly. And then Mike's texting me going, occasionally I'll rub my arms. I didn't notice any of this. Brrr. Brrr. Bit cold. I know you didn't notice any of this. You had a jumper on, you were nice and snug.

But fair's fair, he didn't mention it and so you, you know, you would have only been giving it back if you bought it to the course, right? Yes. You obviously didn't bring it to the course. So I'll give you a pass on that one. What did you do after golf? Then he came back to my house for a little bit. Good point.

Yeah, good point. Good point, yeah, good point. Good point. You can see the moment Jack realizes. And that's where the jumpers are. But again, he was not saying he's cold, he wasn't saying he wants a bath. He was rubbing his arms going brrrrumm, Julie. I never saw that. I never saw him being cold. And...

It was like 17 degrees. He was like brrrrum, bit chilly. He's like, well, yes, I've been there before myself. It's not a nice feeling. I myself have many jumpers, so I don't have to face that problem anymore. He can have the jumper back. He just didn't mention it. He just, he didn't mention anything.

I thought, I thought if he'd worn it back then just didn't mention it. He didn't mention anything. I thought if he wanted it back then he would have said it. And also I happen to know that he got a jumper replacement exactly the same plus more. So his life hasn't changed. This plus more. He doesn't deserve his own stuff. No, he does if he wants it. So we happen to be in Sydney today. Did you bring it? I didn't bring it. But same reason why same reason why I wouldn't, I thought he'd forgotten about it.

I thought everybody had forgotten about it. So if he was in, if you had instructions, bring Mike's jumper, you would have bought it. Then I would just have to get it back from a friend of mine and then I would give it to Mike. You'd give it to Mike? It's giving it to a friend. Yes, but I didn't say for keeps.

I just let... Tristan. Why did you give it to a friend? Um, cause I got my new one. They gave me an extra large. I had the large. And then I played golf with Tristan. And he was honestly, he was a bit cold.

You can't. So you have to be a certain rank of friend. To able to jump up, but not if you own it. It also proves that you can recognize people that are cold. You saw him shaking his arms and going brrrr. That's amazing. Okay. Well. So I'll get it back off Tristan.

Oh. I'll get it to Mike next time he's in town or next time I'm in Sydney. But what's this rule about? You have to be told or like you have to be reminded? If he was cold or if he wanted it back, all he had to do was say, just communicate. Okay, so just to be clear, if the instruction is given, hey, give the jumper to Mike, you will then do it. Yes.

That's interesting because Mike obviously knows the guys from Fella's Golf. That's the brand of jumper we're talking about here, Fella's Golf. And he said, so he's telling them this story. Yeah, didn't get it, but Jack didn't give it back. And I was saying, I'm cold. I was rubbing my... Then one of the guys from Fella's Golf texts Mike, and I've got the screenshot here of the text, so he goes, that's really interesting. To make things even better, we sent Jack two extra ziptops

telling him to pass these on to Amy Shanayden. I have been meaning to. So you have four. You have four of these. Three that aren't yours! One's Mike's, one with instructions to pass them on to Amy's family and you just said yourself, if I had instructions to pass on jumpers, I would. I've been meaning to.

You'll be happy to know yours are still in the plastic wrapping. So they haven't been worn. Oh, yeah. When were you gonna mention it? This was weeks ago. I know it was weeks ago and I saw them this week and I thought must do that. Must do that. Weeks ago. I don't have them here today.

You're coming to my house for dinner tonight. Yep. Definitely next time I see you. Just got to get him off Tristan. Just got to get him out of the warehouse. We actually have Mike from Fellas Golf. I just thought I had a Mike. Yeah, no, this is not Magic Mike. This is Mike from Fellas Golf. I just thought I had a Mike. Yeah, no, this is not Magic Mike. This is Mike from the Golf brand.

Mike, have you heard the debacle that's playing out here? I have not. No, I've just picked you up now. Sorry, Mike. Well, we just, first of all, Andy and I want to say thank you so much for sending to Jack two quarter zip tops from your golf brand. I would like to say thank you as well, Mike. Oh, you.

Oh, my God. We know. Hi, boys. We know. I'm glad to hear they've actually made it to you. As I'm a golfer, we felt was a... No, no, no, Mike. Oh, sorry, no, no.

Mike, we want to say thank you for sending them our way, but unfortunately they were intercepted by world famous jumper hoarder, Jack Post. And they never made it, mate. Well, unfortunately we'd love it to be a thank you call, but we have absolutely no idea what it's like to be in one of those jumpers, a feeling that people close to Jack, unless they're Tristan, are very familiar with. Mike, no, I thank you for trusting me and they're still in their plastic covering in their bags

I'm saying they're coming to you I'm sure I'm sure this is explainable Jack. So well, I had no matter the I put them in a cupboard to keep them safe and I forgot out of sight out of mine I forgot they were in there until recently by coincidence I saw them this week and then remembered that I must distribute them. And I will. I will. Do the right thing, Jack.

Come on, mate. I mean, would you like to retract? Is there anything else? I mean, would you like to retract your jacket for Jack? You can't retract it. You actually can. This is so rarely done in the weaseling world, but it is possible.

Mike, hearing this, the disregard that Jack has for fellas as a brand, not passing on gifts, hoarding them, stealing them. Tough for you, Mike, because he obviously loves the product, but is it the kind of association what you want? We'll give you three seconds to have a think about it and then like a final answer. Would you like to retract my jacket from Jack? Yes, absolutely. Mike, you can't retract it. That's not yours anymore.

You can't retract it. So Jack, you now have four jackets in your house. It's been worn. It's still retracted. You have four jackets. None of them are yours. Two of them are in Andy. One's Magic Mike's and one is Mike from Fellas.

He's retracted it. Thanks Mike. Thank you boys. And as every week goes by, I notice you getting, you know, you peek and trough. Like, are you relaxed? Are you comfortable? I peek and trough. Like, are you relaxed? Are you comfortable? I feel pretty happy lately, yeah.

And that's why an alarm went off. My control HQ was like, let's see if we can upset him. Everything is neat and practical. Because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. Here's one I was actually thinking about this morning. This is a barometer.

I was like, I wonder if this is another one that like is a good decider between me and Andy. And I don't know, we, I'll be interested to know what you said on this too, Jaco. Two litre milk container. Yep. So the plastic kind of jug container. Surely when you take the lid off of that, you use your milk, surely you squeeze it back on. Oh, I hate that.

No, you screw that back on. Oh my god, who screws it back on? I've never heard of the squeeze back on. You just jam it back on and it jumps the ridges and you might tie it, you might do a quarter turn at the end. Do you not just press it back on? No, no, no. Who has got the time, mate?

Oh my god, what must be nice? It could hurt the CEO. Yeah. And if... You're not sipping your milk upside down. Well, some of us have smaller fridges that need to lie their milk in on their side, so I wouldn't risk the... Yeah, well, it's not you.

Ha ha ha ha! No, unfortunately, small fridge in the rental that Rebecca and I are in. Oh, okay. yes. But you... But I still, even regardless of... You actually... Yes, whether you're running out of... Whether you're running out of running a vertical or horizontal milk. People will be flipping out of this.

So you unscrew the milk. Yep. And then what you put softly on the top and then screw, screw, screw. Yeah, Jack, you didn't... I didn't even know pushing on was an option. Jack, start pushing. You'll never go back. Because you pop it... Because it's a really thin plastic.

I've seen you do it. I've seen you do it. But yeah, that's why I've been invited back for a while. I don't know, I've bit my bottom. I noticed. Ruined your shirt. All the blood pouring down your face. What's he doing? Alright, great. Um, Ketu. Ketu.

Ketu, you've got something to upset Andy. Ahoy, boys. Ahoy. Key two. Key two, you've got something to upset Andy. Ahoy boys. Ahoy, key two. So my boyfriend and I share a car. Quite common man of us actually. And we've got two identical sets of car keys, but one of them's been flat for like a year or so now. So we still keep them both in the key bowl

next to the front door. And when we leave the apartment, we just kind of grab one and poke for the bed. Oh, that's bad. I just think in today's... next to the front door. And when we leave the apartment, we just kind of grab one and poke for the bed. What's that? I just think in today's... We're on the third floor of the apartment block, so it's a long walk of shame if we get it wrong. Oh, if it's not the right key.

That is awful. The other thing is... When do you do all this stuff, Andy, this admin? Like, we just... Me and Key2 and the rest, we just don't have time to sit down and be like, okay... I don't even know where to get a key battery change. Yeah, like, Sunday afternoon, I'm going to go and get the key battery change. Just like forget about it, mate.

I go to my cupboard of batteries a very sudden. You wouldn't have a battery for the key remote. I do. Yeah. And then that can be replenished by putting it on the on-going digital shopping list. Even that on a Saturday afternoon, like there's so many better things to do. Yeah, but it's just many better things to do yeah but it's just as long if you do it once just as long as keto having to walk back to her apartment because she's got the flat key unless you get it right every time from now on and i would believe that

i could do that thanks kitu angus yep angus have you got something to upset andy uh hi boys how are we very good to. Hi to you. Gusto to you. Just a quick congrats home on the humongous pee as well. I can only imagine the duress. You must be under every day. The bladder. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. You want to play that competition? I obviously, there's more to me than that, but I appreciate your interest in science. What upsets you? Yeah, so I work in an office and I'm sending emails pretty much all day every day. So obviously when you open a new email, your email signature auto-populates at the bottom. You've got your name, address, phone number. Now, for some reason, all of it's in size 12 aerial, but just the street address of

our office is in size 13, Helvetica. No, not for me. And no matter how many times I change it and resave it, it just always goes back. So I have to select it all, copy it, go into a Word doc, paste it, reformat it, go back into the email, paste it back. It's probably 50, 60 times a day. And you do do that? Yeah.

Well, it's a bit of a... Oh, he's gone. He's gone. Yeah. No, he said what he needed to say. No, I think he's a you. He's a you. He's a me.

He can't handle... Can you tell one point difference of font? Who cares? Who's reading the bottom of someone's email signature anyway? Exactly, Jack. Who cares? He also had a different font, so that was part of it. But it would bother me.

But just doing it every day, that wouldn't happen. I'd get to the bottom of it. It would bother me. But just doing it every day, that wouldn't happen. I'd get to the bottom of that. Angus, you are me, but more of a white or a yellow belt. Certainly not a black belt level organiser. Sarah, upset Ando? Yes, I think I've got a story to upset Ando. When I was in my 20s, I lived in a share house with a bunch of friends. And one day, one of my friends in the room next to me came home with a very large water bed. And I thought, Oh God, he's trouble. Anyway, I decided to help her put it together.

So we set about putting the wooden base together. We put it in the middle of the room so that we could access all four corners. And it was huge. And we put the bladder in and filled it up with water. And then, of course, it never occurred to us that it would then weigh one tonne. Yeah, no, congrats on the SB. That is, yeah, you can't move them once they're full. It's about 200 kilos of water. No, we caught not budget an inch. No. And it was partially obscuring the ability to open the door. It was crooked on an angle in the middle of the room.

And that's where it had to stay. No! That's fine. No! That's fine. Floor space is floor space. It doesn't matter in the room. That is it.

Still take up the same percentage of the room. You know where it is, more convenient if anything. Yeah, quicker to get to bed when you get to bed. You're never too far from bed. You never have to walk all the way across the room. Water beds are wobbly at the best of times to keep things on them. So if they're not surrounded by at least one barrier,

surely the pillows, for instance, at the head would just fall off the back constantly. Yeah. Well, I guess they did. Oh, gosh. Well, Sarah, thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Tess. Tess, ahoy to you. Ahoy, ahoy. I have a little upset, Andy, for you. Last year, I was crossing with some mates in Glasgow and I happened to be there for the end of their lease. So I was giving them a hand with the cleaning and whatnot. And they had a fully carpeted flat.

So I go, oh, well, where's your vacuum? And they go, oh, we don't actually have a vacuum. We've just been using this. And they pull out a dust pan and brush. For carpet? You can sweep carpet. I can't. I haven't been there in a while.

If it's a tight weave, you can sweep carpet. So for the year, every couple of months and the floor got a bit crummy, they'd just give it a little sweep carpet. That is appalling! Rent his paradise. That sounds like a landlord problem to be honest. Oh definitely. And you know, of course they wanted their bond back, so we had to make sure we used the brush to create some nice strokes in the carpet to give the illusion of a freshly vacuumed floor.

Tess, I like the engineering for, you know, university days and... Yeah, they've got something. They've got something. But yeah, I'm not thrashing. Can we get time for one more? Mark, wrap us up. Michael, ahoy to you. Ahoy, boys. Gusto to you, number six. Gusto to you, Michael. Do you have something to upset Andy?

I hope so. So my house has eight windows, which are all winder windows, but we only have five winders. Of the winders we do have, one of them is not permanently attached, but I always forget which ones have the permanent ones. So if you ever want to open a window and a winder's not there, you just start walking in and out of rooms trying to find the floater. I didn't know winders could come and go. I know. I think you mean the winder windows, like it's got the little handle that you rotate and it opens and closes on the other side of the fly screen.

Yes, yes. I understand. And so, yeah, I had these growing up too and they do come off sometimes. Yes. And then you can move them to the other ones that have come off. You're meant to replace it. That's so annoying. Yes, and then you can move them to the other ones that have come off. You're meant to replace it That is so annoying So you like essentially like you have to go to another room to get the winder to they come back one might be stuck on And you might yeah, you might forget which winders guy. I think we actually ran a similar system as I was growing up

Where the wonder is and I'm just like, you know what it might be in the bedroom might'm just like, oh, you know what? It might be in the bedroom. Might not be. Oh, well, if it's not there, just go to the baby room. Just keep wandering around. You'll find one. You'll find one. Just buy three more winders. Oh, what a luxury.

What a luxury you have in life to just be walking around, buying winders, fitting them. Six bucks. And hearing them. Probably a drawer of extra ones. I imagine. Unbelievable. I don't know where you think you get the time. Hey, I'm Jack.

I've made a mistake and I don't know whether the person knows about it yet. I don't know whether they'll ever know about it, but it's sitting in the back of the mind. They may be aware of it already and not telling me about it. Happened to Steve Curry, great actor, the castle fame. Have you ever called Steve Curry either of you? Yeah, probably. Very long message bank message. Very long.

Like I'm talking... I feel like I just, I haven't left a voice message. Very long. Like I'm talking... I feel like I just... I haven't left a voice message in five years. Maybe is it to weed people out? Because who wants to listen to a voice message? Sounds like he's filibustering. I think so. I think you're right. And I'm going to say over a minute.

Maybe I'm lying. That's what it felt like. Here's what happened. Not proud of this. I was calling him before going for a little window to the loo. And I got the message bank and it was going for 20 seconds. I'm like, oh, I'll love seeing, hear this out, but he's not going to, he isn't picked up. I'm not going to leave a message, but I'll be interested to see how he finishes

this really long voicemail message. So I actually went into the toilet and sat down. Nothing wrong with that. Right. And I was just listening to it out and then thought I'd hung up. Okay. Yeah. And you left a statement. Then I released.

Familiar with the action? And then I released, like, opened the doors, very loud, and looked down and just saw seconds ticking over of mine and went, oh, and hung up. At least you got the oh in. Because if you'd said, that's right, or something like that, at least it had a noise of surprise, which gives you some leg to stand on to go, hey, I'm sorry about that. Rather than just going, like, you know, like whispering into the mic, like, yeah, and there's more where that came from. So I've got this situation now with Steve where- Hasn't been talked about?

Hasn't been talked about. I don't know whether, like you said, he might be filibustering. He might be leaving such a long voicemail message that he never expects anyone to leave. He would be like the only people that leave messages are pocket dolls. Yeah. So I thought we could call him now. Do you hear the message? Well, he'll either pick it up, pick up and then we can just say, we're now asking everyone that listens to the podcast to listen to Steve Curry's voicemail message. If we get the message, we listen to the whole thing.

That's awesome. Yeah, let's do it. And people probably are interested. Okay. Yep. And then we can time it and see. Nothing wrong with the call in the toilet, by the way. I've been so many times where I've used the phrase, no, mate, I'm in the

garrote going, going to my, going to myself. Jesus, that obvious. The echo in here. Okay. Call him. Hello? Is that you, Steve Curry? It is.

Oh, Tamish Nandy here, mate. How are you, cuz? Oh, good day, mate. Hello, fellas. How are you? We thought we were going to get your voicemail message. Oh, well, I'm sitting here at work and there are two people looking at me, sort of funny, because I probably shouldn't be on the phone.

Is that unprofessional? Am I unprofessional? I think it speaks to a lot. I don't know what job you're at, but it tells us a lot about how keen you were for a mental break from whatever was going on. I'm putting up fence posts in Adelaide. Kaz, I'm glad we've got you here, Kaz, because Andy has something to talk to you about. Sorry to bother you, it'll be really quick. In fact, I'd like to start by saying, did you recently receive a strange message from

Andy? A strange message from Andy? I don't recall one, let's have a look. Do you, not a text message, do you listen to your voicemail messages? Oh, I try to. I probably haven't listened to your voice. Is that bad? That's fine.

How long ago was it? Would have been last week. Oh no, I'd better have a listen to it. No, no, no. You don't have to because Andy's worried that he listened to your voicemail message while he was on the toilet. He just wanted to get to the end of the message to see what you'd used as your message.

Thor didn't hang up, hadn't hung up, may have left somewhat of a political statement as a message on your voicemail. Wow, that's what he thought of my voicemail message. It's basically just one big dump. Yeah, big splash. You made of my voicemail message. It's basically just one big dump. Yeah, big splash. You made a big splash in his what? All I wanted to say is, you know. Listen to it now. No, don't listen to it and please.

And make it your ringtone. I'm going to listen to it right now. That's brilliant. OK. You text Andy back and tell him if it came through as loud as he feels it did? Yeah. Was it solid? Was it kind of how it felt? Don't leave the witness. You'll be able to tell.

See you, cuz. See you, mate. Back to work. Jumping back in here. Just got a text message from Steve Curry. What did he say? Yep, got all of that. Sounds like a champagne cork.

Clearly getting plenty of fibre. But that's just, that actually I think speaks to your, your testament that you're like, I have to go. So there's obviously a huge pressure build up there. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't like, oh, I could go anytime in the next now in 40 minutes. There was the window, the window was there. The body had made its urges known and you must listen to the body. I was going to say, I think he can share the voicemail over text, but then I thought we don't, we don't need to play that. I don't think we're at this stage now where we're making

our listeners just listen to us do shits. But do we want to hear his voice now? Shall I text him back and say, don't pick up and you can see how long it was or are we not interested in that? Oh, how do we feel, Jack? I feel like we're moving on. Haim, it's time for an update on this. There's a cool new conference no matter your biz.

Con Con. The conference so nice you can deduct it twice. Con Con. Check with your professionals before deducting anything twice, although as we always say, from where we sit, looks good. Coming together, conference, conference, a conference for all, where you will be able to do a fully tax deductible trip, learn vital things about your business. Network.

Network, absolutely network. We'll make time, make sure there is time for networking. Hey, and we're going to provide an experience at Con Con that if you were to get audited, you would celebrate. You'd be like, yes, you can't wait. You write back to the A's and go, can't wait. Could we do it earlier? I'll come over now. And you'd just be so excited for them to go, and what's this thing here, Con Con? Well, I'm bloody glad you asked. Because nothing's been

more relevant to my professional development than this. Why did you deduct it to us? Oh, that was a bit of a... and Jingle told me I could. Fair enough. Yes. No, my accountants said not to do that. And again, stress with check with your own accountants. Yes, but it was such a catchy song. It was done in a sort of a slow rap. I can get you a copy if you need.

But I don't know if a slow rap will help. Ando, on that, before we announce, I know we're about to announce the location. Location. Can I throw something in there, an idea I just had earlier today? Mm-hmm. We should give people, since we're talking about what would happen if the ATO had a look at this, just to keep everything very above board, we should, once we know, because the way it's going to happen is like, once you register, I want to come, you tell us what business you're in, and we'll include at least 30 seconds of content about your business.

So it's all, everything's legit. We should make up a certificate of attendance. Yeah, great. I came to ConCon and I learned about, now we either have all like 200 of the topics we're discussing or- Well, we'll have a brochure. Like, because- Or we just write in for your attendance, what you wanted to learn about.

Okay. So if you're like, oh, I come from meat packaging, you're like, okay, great. That's what I can do, and I learn about meat packaging technologies. And it'd be like- It's more of the thing they give you in grade one than at a conference. Trust me, in an audit, it all helps. I think the ATL will go, is this handwritten? Yeah, by one of the conference organizers.

But have you ever been to a conference? I've never been to one. Have you been to a conference? This is what it sounds like, yes, I've been to a conference. And you do often get, you actually, this is quite a long time ago, I went to a professional skills development conference when I worked at VideoEasy in the late 90s. We weren't, you didn't get paid for going, you didn't get paid for going, but you were allowed, I think actually, no, we were allowed

to claim our transport there and back. We were allowed to get reimbursed for our transport. And I think they gave us like $15 or something to get there and back. And I caught the train because I was like, this is a pretty good deal. Catch a train, make like 13 bucks. It was the late 90s. I was in year 11, I think, and went to the VideoEasy. Two things I remember about the VideoEasy conference. Number one, this was all the people to the VideoEasy, two things I remember about the VideoEasy

conference. Number one, this was all built on VideoEasy franchises. And there was a bit of like, DVDs were established by then. And so it was shifting away from VHS. But there were rumors that you could maybe, you know, have you heard of the internet? The internet's coming could, would, would you ever be able to watch a movie over the internet? No way. Could, would, would you ever be able to watch a movie over the internet? Or some of the, yeah. This high powered, highly paid consultant stood up and promised, this ain't happening. They've looked into it. Don't worry about it.

Double down. Video-easy franchises are safe as houses. You got nothing to worry about, guys. Remember that? And there was someone, a customer service presenter that told us that if you look into someone's right, when you're making eye contact with someone, always look into their right eye. Why?

I don't remember what it was like. It's more direct. Don't just look at the bridge of their nose, whatever, look in their right eye. That's weird. And it's a deeper connection, which I still remember today because at the selling conference I've been to. And so yeah, when someone was looking at new releases, I'd go, and what are you hoping to look for? What are you looking for tonight? Action, thriller, romance? What do you want?

And they were hopefully like, ah, this 16 year old, what a connection. So yeah, man, I've been. And I got a certificate. I got a certificate for going to that. Yeah, I think that speaks more about the conference you went to. But that's good. Now we can have a certificate. This information will be important. We should stress to everybody that you have to get yourselves there. That happens with every conference.

The VideoEasy deal's not on the table. We're not giving you 15 bucks to get there. You get yourselves there because then that... You'll have to book your own accommodation. We'll be able to get the table. We're not giving you 15 bucks to get there. You get yourselves there because then that. You'll have to book your own accommodation. We'll be able to get the dates. We will have maybe some kind of welcome drinks or we'll have some kind of networking opportunity and then we will have a conference which we think is going to be two sessions. There will be two sessions. There'll be a 20 to 25 minute networking break in between them. That'll be in the morning. And I think we're talking about maybe a Saturday morning.

This is like the loose schedule for this. So that's Saturday morning, two sessions of conferencing. Now, there'll be a third afternoon session that's five hours. I think we reserved the right. At the moment, that could be an official in the auditorium session, but the organisers might also, at the time, decide that impromptu freestyle networking is more appropriate.

So I'll make that call on the day. But at the moment we're looking at three sessions, two guaranteed in the auditorium, one TBC probably will be in the auditorium, but there is that chance that it becomes an unstructured networking session. But it's a three session conference. it's a three session conference. It's a three session conference. Yes. Pretty good.

Two sessions guaranteed. Two sessions guaranteed in the auditorium. Organizers. I think the hallmark of a good conference is someone that can obviously like take the temperature of the room and can just go, okay, you guys seem like you've, I'm feeling. You've learned all you can learn in here.

Now we've got to exercise the muscles of networking. Yes. Maybe five hours outside or at the bar or something would be better. Yeah. That's what I like about these organizers. We obviously in the ticket will be, you know, those three sessions, access to those three sessions. Um, yeah, as you said, tea, coffee, welcome drink.

Yeah. Um, I know a lot of the venues we've looked at, you've been dealing a little bit on the business side of this. I've been doing the admin. Someone mentioned biscuits. They said, yeah, they should like the one we've picked, I thought had really good conference snacks. It, the basics with the tea and coffee available.

I liked the, you know, the trestle table with a white tablecloth out the front. That was specified. Yeah, that's nice. The list of things you get, which we'll do next week as we tie it all together. But biscuits, just as a little teaser. Yep. We won't say what kind of biscuits they are yet.

They'll be there. Can I throw one other idea in? Oh, because I'm in charge of merch and I've had to make a few traders because you'll get complimentary like swag when you come to oh, yeah, yeah now It's there is a cost to it So I can't just be going because not everyone can just get a pair of moonwalkers or whatever if they come to Hong Kong Tell me if I'm out of line here, but I've traded off. I had to make a call between Tell me if I'm out of line here, but I've traded off. I had to make a call between, lanyards, definitely.

Don't worry about that. 100%. But I had to make a call between a Konkon USB thumb drive. I think it was 512 megabytes. Okay. Versus Konkon condoms. I might pick Konkon condoms. Yeah, smart.

No one uses USBs. I just think the thumb drive is over. I think 500 megabytes now is nothing. But also it's like, if you need a thumb drive, by this stage, we've got them. They're like reusable shopping bags. Like we should actually just, we've got enough. Airdropping emailing. Go in the cloud.

Yeah, go in the cloud. Okay, con con condoms. Again, full disclosure, they're not gone in the Dark and they're not extra large. So they said there is a charge for Glow in the Dark, there's a charge for extra large. So apologies if you are a superiorly endowed participant, we won't have you covered. Or if you're someone that needs a beacon, needs an air traffic control situation, we can't assist you there. Okay, good.

We could, there is a chance we can get a small light, a reading light, which is a separate part of the merch or the swag. And if we do get you the bookmark reading light, you're certainly more than welcome to clip that on to wherever you like. Yeah, your pubes or something. And then if you, so if you do need light and you are using the con con con, like that's, you know, we've got you, again, we've got you covered if you, unless you're extra large, we don't have you covered. Fuf. I have one more idea. Okay. Sorry. Last one. At conferences, you sometimes hear of like different seating packages, like you can buy a bronze pack or whatever, but the higher up, it's like tickets at a concert,

the higher up you go. Would we have a section, I think in terms of like it fitting with our show, would we have a section where it's like general admin's great, like all the tickets are terrific, but maybe there's like 10 or 20 Tiguan level seats. So if you buy a Tiguan level package, you know they're very hard to get and you do get a few extra perks at the Tiguan level. Yeah, come for your seat or something. Yeah, well it's just they're very hard to get tickets. Yeah, but do you get something? Yeah, you do. Now the reason I'm mocking you is I don't know what it is. So again, full disclosure there. All good thoughts. But there, as we take a step back, there has been so many different locations

around the world, as we heard last week, that have been vying for this position. It turned into a bit of an Olympic style bid. And hence, I've used AI to recreate one Ontario samuranch from the 2000 Olympics. The most confused person in this equation would be AI. Really? We didn't really do much studying on him when we were ingesting the internet. We ate lots and lots of other people. Obviously, famous for the winner is Sydney.

Yep. This- I wouldn't know. I wouldn't be able to recognize his voice if he wasn't saying the winner is Sydney. Well, you're about to hear it now as he will tell us who is the winner for Concon. The Concon organizing committee wishes to thank the five visiting cities, Hobart, the Sunshine Coast, Fiji, the Gold Coast, and Nice, France, for their efforts in presenting their deeds and also promoting the Concord movement.

We really regret that there is only one winner. The winner is the Gold Coast. Oh wow! I think Juan Antonio. That happens to be the one that says the Gold Coast right next to it. That is such a good bounce for us. Wow, Juan Antonio moves in mysterious ways. So Royal Pines, is that's crazy. So Royal Pines.

Royal Pines. Royal Pines at Gold Coast. We feel like we're going to be detached. Wow. That afternoon session is looking shaky. I don't know if it's going to be inside. Still scheduled to be inside at this stage. Five hours.

Five hour afternoon session, asterisks, organisers discretion, looking, no, looking good at this stage. They, I think their auditorium is 300, isn't it, Carly? From memory, is this the one, and I hope it is, that has this, like, it's like a theatreette for the scene. A theatreette with two big screens. Oh, nice.

So it's really, you can't not learn. Like, it's really, you're like, try if you can, but nah, something will go in there. So the ATO will be happy with that. So, um, 300. So I think there's, what we're gonna say is there's 300 spots. We're going to work out how they divvy it up. Great. Um, how do you get, yeah, how you get tickets will come soon.

But the other part that I, cause I was like, oh, it's just 300. You know, more people want to come. We can discuss this. I've been to conferences where they sell more tickets than the actual, actual seminars available and people come and choose which seminar they go to. So if we did want to, yeah. Yeah. All right.

So you could just buy a one, a one session ticket and then just stick around for the networking. Yeah. Stick around for networking. I wouldn't recommend buying the afternoon sessions because that one hasn't been confirmed. Or, I mean, it is looking good to be confirmed. That's a five hour session.

If indoors, there'll be a lot of learning there. If outdoors, a lot of networking. Yes. You might just want to roll the dice and only come for the afternoon session. Yeah, really good, Ando. But details on how to be there. If you have Tiguan level, you will be guaranteed seats at every session.

See you, Jack. Very good. Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.