Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 268 - Important Biscuit Discussion

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

It's one year since Jack promised to doorstop the CEO of Mars, and it's never happened, so Hamish & Andy bring the door stopping to him. Bec caused a ruckus on a family holiday in Fiji when she lost her ring, and the guys tackle one of the most important parts of ConCon: The Biscuits. 1. Jack doorstops the CEO of Mars 2. Bec loses her Oura Ring 3. Extreme empaths 4. ConCon biscuit chat 

A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me,imitar, Hamish. Ah, may I only behead you if you deserve it. Oh, you know what? We're swords.

Oh, he's got it. Yeah. Yes. One of my favourite swords, top three swords. I hope I get this. One of the other two. Ahoy. Cutlass and short sword.

Cutlass would have been myself today. Ahoy to Jack, who would have been the falcon. I think that's how you pronounce it. Ahoy. Yes. It doesn't move the needle for me, the falcon. One handed single edged sword of European descent. That is Jack's.

You, of course, Middle Eastern, South Asia and North African cultures have the curved blade that broadens at a point at the end, kind of the ones you might see in Aladdin. Can I just say something to the team? I was joking before I was just naming swords randomly when I said my top three swords. My actual top sword would of course be a samurai. Now that I think about it, I went to a thing in Japan where you learn about how they make samurai swords. Huge amount of respect for them. I'm sure the other swords are difficult.

I just couldn't in good faith go on having not registered the respect for the samurai. Worst sword has got to be the type they use in fencing. The foil. But Pussy Boots uses it. Yeah, they're based on real French swords from the olden days. But how did they really hurt people? They're so flimsy. It does, you're putting a heap over faith in the stabbing move.

Oh, you have to stab, don't you? Imagine when they come back from their first war against another sword and they go, and they go, they've got the stab, but guess what else they've got? Swishing, swiping, swiping and cutting. Oh my God, we don't stand a chance. All we've got is poking. No, they have many other moves.

You know how we normally poke or give them a little funny slap? Their funny slaps are bad. Yeah, yeah. They can catch them. Hit them with the edge. Yeah, it comes off. Yeah, good call, Jack. Have to be said. Have to be said. Cutlass, of course, more in tune with pirates. Pirates, yeah. But European origin broadsaber slashing sword. Less poking would go on with a Cutlass. Still a good move, though, if you can poke. Yeah.

Yeah. Sword chat for this week. Patrick from Canada, ahoy to him. He went to hamishandandy.com and told us what he's up to. Ahoy boys and happy birthday Andy. It's Patrick from Nunavut, Canada. It's currently 3am in one of the first days of summer, which means that the sun is shining. It's 4 degrees and the harbour is still frozen solid. I want to put this out there while I'm still living up here in the North,

but I wanna be in contention for the podcast, Northern Most Listener. So let's see if there's anyone else North of 60. Wow. NML. NML is live. We didn't expect this contest to happen. It'll remain open for the rest of the year.

Who is the northernmost listener? But by it, we should point out that by the time the end of the last show, that's where... If it hasn't been challenged? Yes, Patrick from Canada. Take out NML. So when he said northern 60, is that latitude? That'd be latitude, yeah.

Yeah. Good on him. Still 30 to go, but still good. Yeah. And then he was saying it was 3am and the sun was out. He's high. He's right up there. Amazing.

Haim, we both wanted to bring something up right now. Yeah. Apart from Latitudes and Swords, there's something else we want to talk about. And we were alerted to something via email during the week. Yeah. Hit us at haimishNade.com anytime. We thank the emailer. You know who you are. You can't remember it, can you? Start at hand. But you'll hear this and you'll know exactly who you are.

And deepest thanks. Thanks with gusto. And then it's not worth dragging this and this name, that name. You know who you are, and we know who you are. Yeah, thank you. Everyone on the loop knows who each other is. Someone pointed out, and this is what I love about our listeners, Jacko, as well. Like people will hear stuff, remember stuff that we would just have no chance of remembering and hearing.

And they're great at holding us to account. Yeah, that's true. and hearing. And they're great at holding us to account. Yeah, that's true. Something this listener, who knows who they are, heard, going back through old podcasts, as well as listening to new ones. I know some people just sometimes listen to the current one and might just like dip back into an old app and heard something just over a year ago. And it was this, Jacko. Jack, I'm obviously based in Sydney I know Mars headquarters is in Melbourne and is very very busy at the moment Jack would you be prepared to take a day out of your life and go and find them? We'd appreciate

it. Yeah we would appreciate it. You know what I'm gonna shock you I'm gonna do it. Are you gonna regret that? No I'm gonna do some extra curricular work for the show. He's got a classic Hamish Blake Peter out of his sleeve anyway. So I smell this a mile off. This is great. Whatever the part of your brain was, it was like, this will feel great saying this. And it did. Let me just let you know that from now on, that satisfaction will slowly bleed away

until you realize you now have to spend a day of your life finding the CEO of Mars to doorstop him. Does that mean a CEO? Nah, I want it to be. It will be. He's high on the lies. Keep going. It'll be the CEO of Mars and I guarantee he'll say we'll put the A back on the packaging. With every year.

He's drunk on promises. I know the feeling so well. Jacko. Talking about getting the A back in Maltesers to make it actually Maltesers. So yes, this is when we were talking about the correct spelling of Maltesers, everyone's favourite puffed malt chocolate covered sphere. Yeah. And Jack, yeah, you heard, we heard what you said. Yeah. It's almost, sometimes hearing these recaps is almost like hearing it for the first time.

I actually do know the feeling. It's a bit out of body, isn't it? Where you're like, wow, what was I doing? Because when you make it, throwing a year out there. Yeah. It sounds like forever. Immediately your brain would have gone, well, that's at least the first six months off. And even then, I'll be going at a trot.

So how have you gone? Well, I do remember saying about the Mars CEO, when people have mentioned it to me, are you ever going to doorstop the Mars CEO? I actually forgot what it was about. So I- Oh, so it's not your fault? Well, I'm just saying how long ago that audio seems because every time I've

thought I should go and do that, I thought, well, I don't even know what I'm doing. I thought that in this article, you're both you and somehow your boss who hasn't told you, given you enough information, you're like, well, I can't get in trouble for that. No one told me what it was about. Yeah, because what would I ask them if I doorstopped them and then had no idea what the questioning was about? Now that I've been reminded, there is an opportunity. You know what? Jack, there's a real opportunity.

Because joining us right now... Wow. Wow. You wouldn't go to him, so he has come to us. We found him. Andrew Leakey, GM, the top dog of Mars Wrigley Australia. Jack, I think I've put in a door knocking sound effect. Oh, okay. What was his name again?

Andrew. Andrew. Yep, I'm gonna get you to place the door knock, and then he'll be there. He'll say hello, and you have to show us the live simulation of what you've done to try and convince him to go to A back in Maltesers. Good luck.

Andrew, you there? Ahoy, Hamish Andy. And of course, Jack. Ahoy, Andrew. But Jack, you've door stopped him. Andrew, is that you? Are you the Mars CEO? I am the Mars CEO.

I've been waiting for such a long time for this connection. Well, the Mars CEO is I am the Mars CEO. I've been waiting for such a long time for this connection. Well, the people have been waiting as well for their A in the word Maltesers. Firstly, do you say Maltesers or Maltesers? We say Maltesers, and we've been saying it since 1937. So you would have found that out if you Googled it.

Yes, but how do you spell it without an A? There's an A at the beginning and an E towards the end. One A is not going to cut it for the people Andrew. We want the second A in there. Jack in 1988 we started making them in Ballarat and almost a year ago you said you were going to come and find me and you've left me hanging I looked we had a photo of you at reception to let you in when you came to the headquarters Told my grandkids. I said, hey, this guy Jackson and not rock up at our place. Keep an eye out for him This is what he looks those photos are going faded. Oh, I'm sorry. It's been so long I know I know your type CEOs the king spin. History dates this 1974, 1988, blah, blah, bluey. It doesn't mean anything.

So you found me Jack. Well done. Unless you change the word to how it should be spelled. No, listen, it was first made in 1936 and Boris Mars senior named the product and it hasn't changed in all of that time. Andrew, if you're going to fire up the machine to make the A packaging, I've seen you name the product and it hasn't changed in all of that time. Andrew, if you're going to fire up the machine to make the A packaging, why not just keep it on?

Oh, look, thousands and thousands of people all around the world love that product. And they recognise that we don't have that many people worried about the second A. Look, I'm not sure why you are. Get your head out of the clouds, Andrew. Come down to Earth. Andrew, I would have closed the door on him. Jack's got a heavy foot here in the door. Hey Jack, I know you love a freebie. I think this is a ploy to get some free product from Mars, which I'm sure we can help you with.

This is interesting. Andrew, would you like to put a number of boxes of Maltesers on the table? To make you go away. You won't need many to make this, to get this man out of your door. How many boxes of Maltesers would you offer? They're cinema sized boxes. How about we throw a box to each of you? So three boxes and then you can decide whether the A is important or just the amazing taste

of Maltesers is enough to satisfy you and actually keep Jack happy. But please don't start with a career in private investigation, Jack. It takes so long to catch up with people. Twelve boxes. I'll go four. How's that? And then one that's for Carly, because Carly's done all the work to find me, to get us connected and get me on the podcast. So how's that?

Deal. Nicely done. We got a deal? Just so you know, Andrew, he commonly doesn't pass those freebies on if they go to him. So I'd send them directly to Carly. Just sort of out for an audit. We will do. I guarantee it won't take 12 months to get them to Carly. Cheers to Carly. For an audit. We will do. Thank you. We'll do.

I guarantee it won't take 12 months to hit the C-clan. Andrew, you're a great sport. Really appreciate it, mate. All right, guys. Enjoy. See you. Thanks, Andrew. Bye.

Jack, it sounds like he's really going to think about it. That actually was a lot of fun. It felt out of character for me and usually nice person to be that aggressive. You could be a parent affair. You had a cause that you cared about. And you heard him at the end there. Yeah, I'll think about it. Sort of like, you know, he didn't say that, but.

Yeah, it was a vibe. Yeah, you got real progress made. Yeah. I'm not saying, then you took one box of Maltesers to go away. Yeah, that was small, cause he would be able to do hundreds. He would do hundreds. You should have been talking palates.

Yeah, 12 was a bad counter-argue. Oh well. Guys, just got back from a quick jaunt to Fiji with the whole family. Gorgeous. And conference? Oh, I'd certainly texted after. I was seeing whether a conference was available for us over there. Thank you.

What's their findings? Stick with our venue. Definitely could be. Oh do. Sounds like more investigation required perhaps by other members of the team. I think we'd have to have to go back either individually or together to make a firm decision on that. Well done. How do you tax the rest of the family or do they...

No, you pay for them, Jack. You'd never. They'd have to pay for themselves. Bad luck for them that it's not tax deductible. I'm not sure if you've done this yet. I'm sure you have. Obviously, I'm not with child at the moment. You are currently un-pregnant.

Yes. So I've never gone on the family resort style holiday. Sure. It's a gear change. It was awesome. I mean, we're talking, you get your vouchers for your food, you go to the buffet every morning, you hand over your voucher. I'm doing water aerobics with the whole resort. A lot of full resort activities together. It's like being on a cruise, but you don't go anywhere. It's a landlocked cruise.

Yeah, it's that kind of vibe. And this is the thing though, Ander, and your brother and sister and like people in your family that have kids would, there's always that thing, especially when you got younger kids, where you're like, nah, we're not going to change our life at all. The kid is coming with us. Hey, we like, you know, like we like going on surf trips or whatever. We're just going to do that. The kids just going to sleep in the van and hang out and

watch us surf, whatever. Like it's just going to do our life. Then they, by the time they hit four, everyone's just like, just get us to club bed. Like just get us to, please, please. As long as there's frozen flukies. Oh my God. Is there a kids club? Please. Cause we're just going to be asleep next to the pool. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please,

please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, That's going to happen, I guess. Upset Andy abroad. On tour. One thing that happened that I just wanted to share with you, because it was amazing.

During water aerobics, Bec lost her aura ring. We can make that very clear, her aura ring. Oh, the fitness tracker. A little fitness tracking ring that she is very passionate about. She loses it in the pool. It's a big pool. Okay. Yeah. Do you have an aura? How are you getting your sleep score?

Or you're getting it off the bed that senses you? Because a lot of people wear aura rings. People scramble. First thing they do when they wake up, like, what's my sleep score? Out of my go. So this is during water aerobics. It did delay the race. There was a race every day.

Oh, from one to the other. Pull it to the others. I'm not having a go. I'm not having a go here at water aerobics. It's a wonderful thing to do, especially as you get older and you might have trouble bearing your weight on your joints. But as someone that enjoys physical activity and has tracked activity before in their life, I can't say that the aura ring would have been registering too higher a heart rate. Like you'd be like, oh no, don't tell

me that I've missed out on 75 beats a minute for my calorie burn today. That's fair. I'm going to quickly digress. There was a race every day from the male's female race of the pool. Right. So you run along the bottom. No, no, like a swimming race. Okay. A swimming race, right.

What's the age bracket though for the... It was adults and then there was kids and there was... So just 18 plus is the... Every day, there was a race, right. Again, with water aerobics, there'd be like the masters categories, I would have thought, like, you know, 60 plus, 70 plus. All of us were in for water aerobics. This is then they went categories for the race.

And my nephew's like, can you go on the race? I was like, sure, I can go on the race. And I was very aware that sometimes I can get too competitive. So I said, Andy, just relax, right? Realized there were people way more competitive than me. So I had that sorted. The guy on the speaker has yelled out, all right, you got to go.

When I say ready, set, go, you can go, right? And he's gone, ready, set, all right, you got to go. When I say ready, set, go, you can go. Right. And he's gone, ready, set, boula, which is hello, as a trick. Yes, I've said Andy, so stickler. I bet people would have gone on boula. One dad goes, right? Yeah. And then he doesn't have to say boula boula as a false start. Like you have to shoot the gun twice.

The guy was so keen on winning that he heads down and does the full lap of the pool He wouldn't have heard. ferociously by himself. He would have thought he was out in front by so much. A lot of years, it's like the 50 meters at the Olympics, like no breath. Just head down, one breath, full length. He gets to the end, turns around to see where he's at. There would be 150 people teasing themselves laughing. Kids, his kids celebrating think that they've got the win.

And he did, to his credit, wasn't disqualified, came back and did the race again, but just slightly less enthusiastic. Anyway, so Bex lost the aura ring. She's yelled out, I've lost my ring. Everyone's thinking it's the wedding ring. Or any, yeah, when someone yells that out, we engage with them. That's a big deal. So the number of strains there, a bit of panic sets in, we've got to help, we've got to help.

It then filters through. So the guy on the microphone calls everybody from the resort that's got their bathers on as another great attendant and feedgain guy runs up with all the goggles from the snorkeling section. Hands them all out. Everyone lands that and suddenly it becomes an emu bob. I know. For Bex or a ring. Well, they think it's an engagement ring.

No. Because on the scale of rings, the only thing less valuable really, with no offence to aura, is like a baby a burger ring. No. It's like, it's basically a novelty ring. So I'm going, oh, okay. I said, is it the wedding ring? She goes, no, it's my aura ring. You have to tell. You have to take your engagement ring off right now. No. And put it in your babies.

Because people might just bob straight over the aura ring because it doesn't look anything like it looks like a piece of jewelry. I've found a washer from the filter system. So I say to Bec, you sure you're wearing it? She goes, yes, yes, yes. That's gone. And I'm like, we've got to call this off. She goes, no, I really want it.

I really want it. It's going to look like I gave you a plastic gold ring. I don't care. That's gone. And I'm like, we've got to call this off. She's like, no, I really want it. It's going to look like I gave you a plastic gold ring. I don't care. I want it. Right. So the whole, I would say 45. I've got a spare one that I, of course, I own one of these. Like, I haven't worn it for five years. Do you want mine?

We've got 40, I'd probably say 45 people participating in the ring, Bob. Right. Triumphantly, my nephew, Fred, finds it. Great. He would have been in on it. Was he in on the fact that it was, we were looking for a plastic ring? No, no, he's just, so he gets it. He's the, everyone rejoiced.

It was like the kid that invented the taco. Throwing it in a much safer environment because he's in the water. And you could really go for some height. Let's see if we can get him three meters in the air. He then gets the ring back to Beck. She puts it on, exits very quickly. And basically with a good bounce, Fred now is the only one that knows it wasn't the wedding. That's what I was going to say. It's great that it's in the circle of trust.

But I was so, for Beck, for someone who gets embarrassed so quickly, it was confusing to, it was a very confusing situation to me that I would, she would never, she never likes the attention. She gets embarrassed quickly. For her to persist with 45 people searching for an aura ring to me is a confusing, not enough to call off the wedding, but I don't sit there and go. Whoa, looking for loopholes. But I just, you think you know someone. Don't tell me you're backing out.

You just laid the groundwork. All I'm just saying to anyone out there, you know, you'll learn, you'll learn something new about your partner. But it is because it's so competitive with it. People just, you're just battling yourself from the day before you're trying to beat your score. So she's probably unbeknownst to you, she's probably on some like hot streak of active minutes or something. One thing about the Aura Ring, I mean, you would have slept in yours then, her if you had one. Yeah, well you got to charge it too.

Yeah, right. But yeah, you know, you're sleeping, I think. Yeah. People wake up and I'll go, how's that? She goes, I had the best sleep. And then she checks her phone and she goes, oh my God, I had the worst sleep. The data tells us else is hot otherwise. And so she then acts tired all day based off what her phone told her.

The ring knows. The ring knows. Well, it doesn't. If you felt good, just feel her. The ring knows. The ring knows? Well, it doesn't. If you felt good, just feel good. Just feel good. Yes, you are not the Lord of the Ring. It is the Lord of you when you wear the aura ring. The thing where you get disheartened a bit is that, because I of course, I went, I know

how she's feeling because I've been there myself. I've gone through the phase. I was wearing an aura ring and a whoop, which are the same kind of thing. So the whoops like the bracelet. Do they match up? Like would they? No. And they would give you counter, they would, they would disagree with each other.

So you'd do exercise and the whoop would be like, you did this. And then the aura would be like, oh, from where I'm standing, lower down where you were 15 centimeters further down the hand. I felt like you did this. Then he'd be like, well, if you two idiots can't sort it out, I feel like I did something completely different too. So we all just agreed to go our separate ways. That's what broke us up. Haim, these keep pouring in people with empathy for objects. Extreme empathy.

Extreme empathy. Someone asked on, at Hamishandny.com, hey, can we get an opener for this segment? Because we get excited to see it. Yeah, we've been doing it for a couple of weeks now, so it probably deserves an opener. And we thought, what song should we use? Well, in the spirit of extreme empaths, if we pick a song that we go, yeah, that can be the opener, won't all the other songs in the world feel sad that they didn't get picked as the opener for Extreme Empaths?

So we asked Marshy here, could you make a short couple of seconds wall of sound that's all the songs in the world? So they all get included in being in the open and no one feels left out. So let's do it. It's time for extreme empaths. There we go. Hopefully we don't have any sad karaoke versions of songs sitting on the bench going, what about me? And I'm going to kick this one off. Shelley Walsh. Um, she's in, she's an empath.

She says, look, every morning when I take my vitamins, I get the vitamins out of the jar, but I closed the lid of the jar first before I swallow them so the remaining tablets won't see what's eventually going to happen to them. And they don't have to live in fear. So it's for the rest of the tablets to go. Maybe there's a better life outside the jar. Maybe great things are ahead. It's so many, there's so many conflicting, I'm so fascinated by the logic that

people face when they like, they add these feelings, these little like, you know, food stuff that we're going to eat. It was like, do they want to be eaten? Is it their destiny? Are they born to do it do they want to be eaten? Is it their destiny? Are they haunted? Do they want to be chosen? Or are they, or are they just can't believe I'm in this situation where I'm going to be eaten by a bigger animal?

Makes me laugh a lot thinking of a B vitamin, which is for stress relief, sitting there stressed the whole day that it's going to be eaten. This one coming from Tess. Uh, she said, a friend of mine's an extreme empath. When she boils water and throws it down the sink, she immediately puts on the cold dap because she feels the sink is experiencing intense heat. Don't want to burn its throat. You'd hate for the sink to not be able to taste dessert.

Just burst its tongue. Oh, good. This is from Blake. Oh, guys, when I use my Google Maps to travel to unknown places, or just sometimes I have it on to check traffic, et cetera, when you arrive at the said destination, Google Maps is always very excited at the end of the trip and always asks you to rate how well the trip went. I feel really bad when I end the trip before I arrive at my destination, because Google will never know how I felt and will never know if I enjoyed my trip or not.

It eats me up sometimes inside for days. Anyway, love the podcast. It's an interesting one. Could be the only case ever of someone worried they're not giving Google enough information. Like I'm worried, of someone worried they're not giving Google enough information. Like I'm worried I'm not giving Google enough data. Can I call up head office and go, sorry, I took a trip the other day.

I just want you to know, four stars. I kind of, I almost loved it. Got another one in the tech game in hand. This is from Mark. He's a Kiwi teacher, but he's in the UAE. He says, I'm a teacher and often use chat GPT, the great ideas when I do in the classroom, but I feel bad for it when they give me an idea that's not quite good enough and I need to ask it for more.

I always feel like I'm inconveniencing chat GPT. So when I need another answer, I'll type something like, I really like that idea. But can I have one more just in case? Doesn't want chat GBT going home going, I was just off today. I just couldn't seem to know it. He just kept saying, no, no, more creative than that. Oh, what a good teacher. Ando, permission to do a slight departure on the theme here. Um, this is from, this is from Tain and she writes and goes, look, the opposite of an empath is an apath.

All right. So someone that does it, there's maybe, yeah, it doesn't feel it, but I mean, there still is, you'll see what I mean here, like still attributing human behaviors to something. So my brother's girlfriend has a robo-vacuum. Must be very nice. Now, we've had a few robot vacuum ones before, but usually people feeling sorry for the robot vacuum that has to do all this work, lives on the floor, eating dust all day, like hell

of a job. But in this case, if the robot vacuum named Slav doesn't do a good job, i.e. misses some rubbish, or gets stuck, or is not up to scratch, she'll get out the stick vacuum and vacuum in front of Slav to remind them that they are replaceable and to make them work harder and pick up their game. Yeah, I like that. Well, this one's a bit sideways as well then. This one's from Nina. She goes, I've not nominated myself as an extreme empath.

I have a giant stuffed teddy bear in my room called Oscar. Every time me and my boyfriend go to have sex, I make sure there's a tail over Oscar's head. He knows what's going on. I assume if the eyes work, the ears work as well. God, I'd love to see. You'd just love to see it from Oscar's point of view, wouldn't you? Tail go on? And when do they decide it's safe to take the tail off?

Get dressed again? Or can you be nude? Hey, isn't this gathering momentum, which is very exciting. Of course, we're talking about a conference for all. There's a cool new conference no matter your biz. Come on, come on. That conference so nice you can deduct it twice. Again, you can't deduct it twice.

Check with your financial advisor. With all of this you should be checking. Yeah, with all of it. But from our angle, again, it looks like you can. No it doesn't. I'm just saying, people can report what things look like from their angle. Yes, that's true. If someone gets on TV and goes, I took this vitamin and it felt good for me. They're not saying we've done testing. They're saying it happened to feel good for me. Yes, that is true. But even from our angle, what are we seeing where you can deduct the price?

You don't know, but you're in a completely different angle. We sit in a triangle in here. So from your angle. My angle. I'm at the tip of the isosceles and from my angle, things are looking good for a double deduction. I'm just saying that's how I see it from my angle. Now obviously you can see it completely different from your angle. If you were to take a colleague, they would both count. That's true. That's true. That's maybe the reason why. Well, hey, this is I mean, we've got a huge news.

We know it's on the Gold Coast at Royal Pines. Yep. I'll tell you what we actually have huge news for. We got in early this morning to do my least favourite thing. It's like I was doing the ice bucket challenge this morning. We came in early to do a actual proper meeting. Like we can't muck around and you actually have to talk about like you like work through a checklist. And it was all about, yeah, the logistics of ConCon. Like actually, how's it going to happen?

What room are we in? What do you think took up the most amount of chat? Well, I think you have to go through the specifics. You have to pick the actual rooms. Yes. Because there's a lot of costs associated with this. Don't worry. We won't bore you with the numbers.

We just want you to know we're absorbing the costs and we're trying to deliver a fair price ticket that covers these costs. But it's also the offerings, Ander. The offerings. What are we trying to create for people? A great experience. We had the choice out of the Royal Point Room or the Prince Room, Jack. And we've decided on the more expensive Prince Room, the higher cost was three and a half

grand more, but it did have a much bigger screen. Okay. Did fit more people in, so more ticket sales or? No, I don't think so. No, it will, we'll have to find ways to absorb that. Now three and a half grand for just a bigger screen. It looked like a big one. This is why you weren't invited to the meeting, Jack, because we knew you'd be a penny pincher.

And we don't have time to pinch pennies at this stage. We want to give people an amazing conference. It felt like I'm releasing a startup app down the road in that other room, and in this room it was like, oh my god, Apple are releasing their next biggest product. Now remember, yes, that might creep ticket prices up incrementally, but the more you spend, the more you deduct. There was one topic that I felt we took way too long on. If this is about biscuits, we did not take too long on this because here's the thing, I think to give people a bit of context. I remember one of the other venues that got proposed, Biscuits were included

because there was a tea and coffee section. So on, on the actual, it's going to go across two days. We think so Friday afternoon will be registration and welcome networking, like unstructured networking at a bar, welcome drinks and registration. We've chosen the hydrate bar, by the way. Okay. Yep. In all in the same venue?

Yep. Yeah. Great. Give you the love, Jack. So then the next morning is where we start the actual conference, right? So there's the morning session one, then there'll be a break, then there'll be morning session two, then there'll be lunch, then the potential third session that we've talked about, which may or may not be scrapped in favour

of unstructured networking. Yes. Slash golf, depending on how we feel. At this stage, it really looks like session three is going ahead. Yes. Do need to warn people. It could be cancelled.

We have booked the tea time at 1.30, but Joss and Kasey. Purely precautionary. Purely as a backup. Let's make that a guarantee there. Guaranteed two morning sessions, very likely three, but crazy things do happen once you get into the swing of conferences. And you must move with your crowd. I remember you showed, when you had the spreadsheet where you're like, we could go to this place, we go to that place.

It was my recollection that tea and coffee was provided for delegates of the conference and biscuits were included as part of that. Now then you told me this morning not at Royal Pines. No, it's five dollars per person for the biscuits. Five bucks a head for biscuits, Jack. That is a lot. Isn't it? Especially when a tube of Oreos is like three dollars. So then Hayme was like, okay, we need to give people enough time to eat as many biscuits.

No, no. So I said, okay, well, if they're going to be dumb enough to charge us a per head biscuit fee, that to me, that says biscuit buffet. Get your biscuits worth. That's not $5 for a biscuit. That's a $5 biscuit fee. So, okay, if we're rushing people through and they're going to get 10 minutes for biscuit, they're not going to eat enough biscuits. If we're rushing people through and they're going to get 10 minutes for biscuit, they're not going to eat enough biscuits. If you say, I suggested that the morning session start at 10 AM, but you can arrive at nine, because you need to get $5 worth. You need to be eating a tray or more of premium.

The RACB Pines Resort are going to come out on top here. I'm charging you five bucks a head for biscuits. So I want to make sure that we get them back and we can get enough biscuit time. Morning gigs can be tricky, like energy wise. That's why, you know, comedy venues and stuff, you often, you know, you go at night, 10 o'clock, everyone's had a few drinks. Great show. Coming out on stage at 10 in the morning, especially if there's been welcome drinks the night before. Are you seriously telling me you

don't want a crowd there that's had eight coffees and 14 biscuits? They will be pumped up. They will be absolutely buzzing. Yes. I do worry. And again, Ando, you're the one that's actually making the phone calls. Can I be on the call for the biscuit call? Because I worry that they'll just do like, you know, scotch fingers or like an arrow root or something and you'll just let that go. You're just going to say yes. And that's not the sort of biscuit that I'd imagine for our delegates. Especially if everyone has half a scotch finger and then that's it and they said, oh sorry,

biscuits exhausted. And it's 9, 10 a.m. and we still got 50 minutes of said, oh, sorry, biscuits exhausted and ever. And that's nine, 10 AM. And we still got 50 minutes of meandering around with no biscuits. Yeah, that's so, then we come out to a, to a biscuit hungry mob. Yeah. And that's, and that's really hard to then get some business chat on top of that. So yeah, biscuits before business. And I think, so we, should we name that session biscuits before business?

Cause that's got a nice ring to it Okay, so there is a nine till ten. It's almost session zero, isn't it before the first session nine Like when the AFL did opening rounds Round zero. Yeah So and could you do I don't know if like uh, as people are buying tickets and say what? A lot of work they work in also put in your favorite biscuit as a suggestion another drop down menu you want you want for me to think that we spend too much time on this this morning premium biscuits too premium biscuits cream filled chocolate teddy bears reading aloud

and clear in fact i'll record the call i'll play it back for you guys to make sure that you're happy enough with how I negotiated the biscuits. I want that to be the big topic of conversation in that first hour. How's the biscuits? Have you seen the biscuit buffet? Like have you seen the spread? Then 10 to 1045, session one.

Then we've got morning tea. No one should be hungry, but they will be coming off a bit of a biscuit crash. I've actually got the selection, we're allowed two from this selection, but I'm scared to, it's such a long selection, but do you want me to quickly run through it? Because we spent a lot of time on the biscuits. I actually think people will be hungry. They'll be coming, you know, you get quite a sugar crash. It's inclusive of just brewed coffee and tea selection, orange juice and water, and we get a choice of two items. OK, do you want sweet selection, raw energy selection or savoury selection? I think we go savoury selection.

OK, plus an agreement. We can pick one from either. Like we can pick one from each selection. No, I think we go an agreement, handshake or otherwise, that they will not hoard the biscuits. So I think that's also a danger here that they we force them to buy so many premium biscuits and then they keep them for their stuff. We want all the biscuits laid out again at Morning Tea, so we have a savoury selection and you get another crack at the biscuits. Well, just the same pile of biscuits, but if they've done their biscuit

purchasing correctly, there should be another round of biscuits. I'm reading you clear on the picture. You don't want anyone the whole day really to say I can't get a biscuit. We want one of the main pizzas as a feedback to just be like oh my god and the biscuits. Yes. You should have seen how many biscuits they add and the quality of... Okay quickly then we've got to pick two from the savoury section. Baked croissant filled with tomato and cheese, mini quiche assortment. Little beef pies. Yum. Yeah.

Okay. Pumpkin and roasted almond samosa. Well, let's do little beef pies in a veg option for samosas. Pies and samosa. Yeah, that's good. Pies and samosas. Yum. Then after morning tea, we come into the, um, the second session of the morning.

And that'll hit us around, uh, 10, uh, is that around 11.15? 11.15 to midday. That's two sessions concluded. Then we will have an hour break, I think, or an hour and a half really for lunch before the possible third session slash unstructured networking. They're not doing lunch are they? There's no restaurant food there. I had an idea. This was actually something that Troy Kinney made of ours, found on Instagram, just sent it to me this morning. There's a company, it's like a burger chain in the States that lists all its burger items. Every menu item it lists, it names it kind of like after stationery, so it looks like a tax deduction. Oh, that's a great idea. deduction. So a double cheeseburger is called like a silicon phone case.

You know, and like a thick shake is kind of like, you know, wireless headphone protector. Yeah, yeah. And so everything, so if we could get a food truck to turn up for people that do want to have lunch there, if we get a food truck to turn up or something like that and they agree to change their menu for the day. Instead of tacos, yeah, it's like reams of paper and stationary pack. Then that's another chance for a tax deduction. Great idea. Yeah.

Okay. So named after office items. We'll make sure that's available for people after the conference for lunch, depending, and then hopefully they're full heading into the possible third session in case we declare that that one's not going ahead. This is all going to happen in November, everybody. The date will be, and drum roll please, Jack. The date will be the 15th and 16th of November.

Friday, Saturday, obviously into Sunday as well. Head back Sunday. That's all tax deductible the whole weekend. Registrations on the Friday. Welcome drinks on the Friday as well. Registrations from what, two, Hem? Yeah, registration from two on the Friday afternoon. We'll do a welcome drinks.

I think we were saying four o'clock. Four o'clock welcome drinks. All of that will be included in the ticket price. That's the exciting thing. And plus biscuits. So you look at this now and it's like, I know we'll probably have a solid ticket price by... And we'll have them next week. Next week? Great. And there's merch. You said that everyone's going to get their tote bag. And you get the tote bag with the lanyard, the certificate of attendance, the con con condoms, the all the different and a few other surprise merch pieces there. So it really is, when you throw in now the prospect of being a world leader in biscuit provisions and you're looking at an amazing event. Tickets will go on sale next Thursday. We'll have more details in the pod. And I think we've given Arnott's, if they are our preferred biscuit supplier, enough

time to start adjusting output at their factories. Absolutely. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at HamishandAndy.com.